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About Bandon recorder. (Bandon, Or.) 188?-1910 | View Entire Issue (July 21, 1904)
BANDON RECORDEH. THE SICILIAN. Illn Life In Hedged About by n Seriea of Abxtirtl Superxlit lon. People of Sicily are vastly supersti tious. The Sicilian believes, to give a few examples, in the existence of a double tailed lizard which condescends to take in its mouth the winning num Iters of the lottery. He believes it is unlucky to marry or begin n journey on a Tuesday or a Friday. He believes in tin power of maledictions and of the evil eye ami attempts to defend him nelf airainst them by wearing amulets, such as the eorno. a coral imitation of the horn of the gosit; by spitting three times on the ground while pronouncing a niasric formula or (in certain dis irietst by invoking the name of Yirgil who omehow acquired during the mid die siifs st bizarre reputation as a msi tjilcinn. He believes in sorcerers, tit whom a goodly milliner practice pro fessionally m his island, selling to him among other wonder working charms trrotcsque coloretl images of St. Paul to be attached ti barren fruit trees and barrels in which wine hsis soured. He believes that a person born on :i Fri day is able to predict the future aud thsit a person born on .Tune -1) (the fete of St. Paul, who was unharmed by the viper which encircled his hand is .nble to do both these things aud to charm serpents besides. SORRY SHE SPOKE. The MlNtnke That Wn Made by n ew York .Milliner. One of the richest and most promi nent society women in New York eausrht an unexpected glimpse of the reverse ide of a Fifth avenue trades woman's manners the other day. The society woman in question is very quiet anil unostentatious in her dress, and it is only the appointment of her equipage that betrays the fact that she is wealthy. She stopped her carriage outside the establishment of a fashion able milliner, entered and addressed the proprieire.-s. "I see you have in your window a sisn. 'Apprentice Wanted.' " she beiran. The milliner eyed her contemptuous ly from the crown of her modest bon net to the tip of her common sense shoe. "You would not do at all." she ssiid. "I want a ladylike person who can wait on customers." "I wished to place one of my maids with some one from whom she could learn millinery while 1 am abrosul." continued the visitor quietly, "but I'm afraid you would not do." As the footman opened the carriage door for his mistress the horror strick en millwun- reeoirnized too late the liv ery of one of the "first families" of New York. -New York Press. CROWS AND ROOKS. There Are Many Point of Difference Hetween These HirilM. Scientifically corvus is the generic title of the bird family which includes crows, rooks, ravens and jackdaws. A main diMinetion between crows "1 twK i.- thai Mink uml i:i;i ciowm, which are found always in psiirs. are migrants, retreating southward with the advance of winter, while rooks are gregarious and remain where they have been in the habit of nesting. Trows. too, are carrion eaters, while rooks though fond of grubs and worms, wil; not touch dead things unless dm on to do so by hunsrer. J he most obvious individual points of difference between the two sire tin: aos-enee oi learners irom tne face ot the adult rook, givimr it a vulture-like look, to which its characteristics other wise hardly entitle it, and the fact that its feathers are of si rich purple black, almost iridescent, while tin plumage of the black crow is in shad ing somewhat like a badly polihcd boot ami possesses but little luster. Wooden Shoe In Holland. "I he wooilen shoe." aid si native of Holland, "is worn almost exclusively by the peasant classes, stud they find them more comfortable than the lejith- or shoes that are worn in America. Tin foot is clad in a heavy woolen stock nig and then slipped into the shoe without fsistenin. They never I'sill oft because the people sire used to wearing tl.om. They would mr exchange, be cause any other kind would not ht comtortable. The sht.es are of elm wood ami cost from 10 to !." cents of American money. Two psiirs will last a your." Animal Criminal. As st species of hardened crimiustls among placid herhh oroiis auimsils none is worse than the bisoii. or Aniericsin buffalo. Toward mstii and beast smd even among themselves these vicious, vindictive ami agile brutes, whose hsilf brothers on the other continents do not four even the terrific onslaughts of Hons aud tigers, sue in si state of sil most continual warfare. They are among the wickedest rogues ever seen in a zoo. Met 'lure's .Magazine. A HitlM-r of I'icklr. "Anything I can do for you, insul itin;" asked the clerk in the seed store. "Yes." answered the sweet thing, tapping the counter with a tsiperlng finger. "I wish to ascertain If bottled pickle seeds will grow sis well sis those of the bulk variety":" Indianapolis Sun. DetsrlnniiiR: Afrcnh. Mr. Yexsi'.l (angrily 1 hate si womsin who always contradicts everything a "man says. If I don't I'm sin idiot. Mrs. Yexall (sweetly) -Well, dear, I'll turu over a new lesif ami commence right now by not contradicting you. A Hair Itextorer. "You promised me." she ssiid coldly, "to return the lock of hair I gave you and" "Gee whiz!" he interrupted. "Do you tsike me for a hair restorer?" Ex change. The safest way of not being very miserable Is not to expect to be very happy. Schopenhauer. A wise philosopher gives us tins ad vice: "Tell the truth to at least three men your doctor, your lawyer ami your banker." 1 POLLY III There are ways and ways of adver tising, and every successful firm has realized long :igo the value of the dif ferent forms of making known to the public their various stocks of goods, etc. One man will not have anything but fence advertisements, and he will pay :i good price to anyone who will bring a catchy ad. that will attract the attention of passers-by. Another man will Hend all of his snare time : . . . .. . .. .i. si t. w ruing up new spasmus, aim ieueves 1 1....... : . .... 4 .. ..11..;.. 1 1. .. wicie i in. iiinei w ay 10 uuuiiii uiu good results that every advertiser is seeking. The hitter is right, too, for even if the men of the household do not rend the ads mntiiiieiiiLr the inniiv bargains their wiviw and grown up , , , . . j tiaughters do. Mime WMineu watch eagerly for the bargain ads., and the war situation and other events of the day holt! no interest for them until they have run their eye over the ad- vertisenients in the paper and found where the biggest bargain sales were announced, and then some wise little l.,.le .,..,1 ....... ii-vvi.,. .1.. , :. V'1' c' " "J J . " ie;iu oeueciuai uew spsiper au vei ns - iiii i:ivs, 1 ufy kuow u is u iooiisu ipiestion when they tusk it, for some of ... ... them would as soon think of going w ithout their cupof delicious eoti'ee for breakfast sis to deprive themselves of the plesiMireof their morning ad. read- ing. I heard a lsidy remark the other day, "1 never ditl care much for read- ing, and if it were not for the ad ver- ti.-ements I would never open a paper." gentleman engaged in the dry goods bii!.iiies in one of our prosperous inland tow ns grumbled at his newspaper ail- vertising bill, claiming that no one read them and that it didn't pay well enough for the money invested. "Yerv wen, sam tne snrewu newspaper man, ... tt M 1 wiu natui ta doubt 111 Ins own mind as to the etlicacy of the well written advertisement. "Now 1 have a proposi tion to make you, and if it brings no results I will print your advertisement fnv for si whole year. You sire to get a lot of trinkets say paper dolls for the girls, si toy cannon or spinning tops for the boys. Away down in the corner of your sitlil I will print in small type, ' PI... I. 1...:...-: .1.;. .1 . . 1 01- lh in i;ni ouni;iiig i uis ail. IO Mr. I 's store on Saturdav will re- eivea gift.' I'll warrant you'll have to have a 111:111 just to attend to the de mands of the wee folks." The drv goods merchant agreed to this and laid in a .-dock of trillcs that would delight the hearts of Ikvs and girls, although le wsis convinced in his own mind that he would havea hard time getting rid of the loxes of gifts he had nur mased for thcexperinieiit. Theshrewd newspsiper man printed a nunilerof ex tra papers, believing that there would e si run 011 hiotlice. Saturday morn ing came, and when the proprietor of the store appeared there were several joys and girls who lielieved in "first ome first .-orved," waiting for him at the door. Every one of them had the advertisement cut out or the whole pa per with the ad. marked. Hv noon the oys smd girls were in line entering in orderly fsi.-hion to get the gifts. Onlv one or two failed to .-how the advertise- uieiit as requested and there wsu si ,rood J exeiiM-coniingfroni the omission. "The new-paper ollice didn't haveanv more. Mr. 15- ," and on this plea they got their gift-. Iiefore half the afternoon had waned the firm hsid to announce that the supply hsitl given out and that there were no more presents for that Saturdav. A number of the little folks went stwsiy feeling abueil to think they hail been left out. "I ackuowl- edge I wsis wrong." aid the merchant to llie wide-awake newspaper man. "I did the higgot dav's work 1 have ever doiiein the toic Not only the chil- dreii came, but their mothers sis well smd nearly everv one Umirlit some- thing before they went out. Count me down sis one of your biggest sulvertisers f ron 1 now on. I confe.-s thsit you have thoroughly converted me into being a M very strong believer in-t he benefit of printer's ink rightly u.-ed." Last winter, just iiefore the holidays, one of the San Krancisco drv goods merchants advert i.-ed that Santa Claus would be at their stores in the after- noons siinl for every child coming with its parents he would give a box of can- tly. Thsit -tore was swarmed with the little folks. Thcv had to enter the dure in line and they blocked the side- walk. "Please man:," said one dirty- fsiced, rsigged little girl to Polly, "won't you be my mother? I want to go in and see Santa CIsius, ami you can't go in unless you have your mother along; 111 v mother is dead." I wsis dubious iboul adopting the little waif until she told me her mother had been taken iw siy. That decided me, however, and I took her by her dirty little hand that ooked asif it had not been acquainted with Msip and water for many a long lay suid boldly marched past the sen- fine! sit the door. He had heard the reqiio?-t aud smiled as we wended our way w ith the throng tosee Santa Claus with his merry old fsice. When 1 got isick to the sulewsilk with my charge I ound I had gotten myself into a world f trouble, for there stood a howling young mob of little urchins, boys and iris, pushing and .scrambling to get to me and asking with almost one voice, 'Won't you be my mother?" "I just want to see Santa Clans." "I'll bo good lady." "I won't iimkcyou 110 trouble." "Don't you take Jiim, lady; he's been in five times already and has had live boxes or candy." And with numerous other pleas ringing in my ears from the throng of poor and ill-clad children that crowded around the door, I made my escape, but not before a big burly policeman had made his appearance'. and ordered the crowd of pleading little folks to scatter and not take up the he said. Yet I think the sight of the children waiting for a peep at .Santa Claus and for the tiny box of hard, common candy, touched him almost as much as it did Pollv. But, as I said before, there are ways and ways of advertising. One of our big department stores in ban Fran- ctsco has advertised free delivery to all the near-by towns. That advertise ment is a tempting bait to housekeepers, hut they should stop and think the matter over before making their pur- chases. It is not just to the home nier chants who will sell von the eroeeries I " o i...iii. , . .. uuu ouier supplies just as cheap as tne I O.... t.i t. . a . - " r nuicisco iiierciiauis, suid every dollar spent at home benefits your town and the money is kept in circulation just where it will do the most good and advance the iufor.wt of tl... ,d...... ' , ...v ,UH,u J"" are pleased to call home. Every dollar . 4l ,, . J , 3 ou give the ban Irancisco merchants is thrown away so far as your town is concerned, lou expect your mer- chants to keep an up-to-date stock and you are displeased if you want some- thing in a hurry to think he does not have it on his shelves. You term i,im a "back number." Who is to blame f,r Jf !...- I,;.. i i... :.. ,: " , " " 141011 ueipuig 10 enricu me jiropri- i uiun oi mu uig uepuriniuni, siores at 1 . .... - 1 tne expense of their own merchants, Housekeepers will be guilty of this, and yet if any charitable work has to be done or church entertainments be given to raise funds, they swarm in on their home mei chants with the request to give, give, and are annoyed when they don't see their way clear to always meet the demands made upon them They have families to support, and remember, the most iniluential and wealthier town people give their money to San Francisco merchants instead of patronizing their home people BRIEF REVIEW. Americans In Corea. Americans have an electric street railway in Seoul anil a gold mine in the north which employs fifty or sixty for eigners and 1:200 Coreans, and pays into the imperial treasury an annual royalty of li'joOO. America should have a special interest in Corea, as one of our four small Asiatic wars w:ls with ('ore-i a generation ago. For years an Ameri can was foreign adviser to the Emperor, and I once heard an earnest t'orean ar guing in favor of America's assuming a protectorate over his land. Hut our chief contribution to Corea is neither commercial nor political, but moral anil religious. There sire about l.'U) Ameri can missionaries in the land, with ."0, 000 adherents. And the influence which Christianity hits already exerted has been as an awakening of the dead. The possible triumph of Hussia hangs as a pall overall the American interests iu the land. The triumph of Japan would lie tne guarantee of progress and 1 j . I civilization. The Bullseye. Why is the target's bullseyeso called? This is one of the many instances iu our language where words have gained a higher status than that with which tluy started and have been promoted from the slang dictionary to the die- tionary of words of respectable and cur- rcnt U6- Bullseye is found in the die- 1 . . . tionary of I lie Canting Crew" :is far M;ick HM) und was the vulgar word for t,,u central ring of the target used ,LS :l ,llIirk for archers, which wsis col- orea "Werently from the other rings. this may have arisen from the ancient rounded shields, cut out of ox hide and strengthened with a spike or central lKrW H,r this shield or target; hence tar- K-1 was often used as a msirk itself. When sheet glass began to be iiisuiu- pictured the thickened part, where the tube had been attached, was called the hullseye. 1 heii this term was succes- Uively applied to a lens of glass, especi- ' il ship's side, to the lens of a lan- uni to the lantern itself, and finally the central Uissofsi target. Used "Big Language." "How some people do jxse," said a big, raw-lKined Westerner named Hank Custer at the Louisville Hotel. "They se great big words just to make people think they are smart. I think that the weakest of all aflectations is that of using what is called 'big language' iu- stwui )f tl,orie simple terms which at lirst present themselves to every person 01 common sense. At my home iu Ne hraska the other day u young lady as tounded my household by asking the loan of a 'diminutive, argenteous, trim cat til cone, convex on its summit and semi - perforated with symmetrical in dentations.' She wanted si thimble." (Queen Alexandra owns one of the most valuable pairs of opera glasses in the world. They areof platinum thick- ly incrusted with diamonds, rubicsaiid sapphires and are said to have cost the enormous sum of $yo,000. An exchange .says a lioston woman fell 011 the sidewalk and broke one of her legs. Ridiculous? There are 110 legs in Boston. Limbs are used ex clusively. A woman simply can't help having faith iu a man who notices when she has on a new gown. .Husbands pay for the line feathers that make the fine birds; bachelore ad mire them. The average of suicides is lower iu Ireland than in any country in the world. A girl is always willing to admit she is fat if she doesn't weigh more than 110 pounds. THE DAGUERREOTYPE. Odd otluna Concerning: the Proceu When It Warn Sew. Many amusing remarks were made at the doors of daguerreotype galleries when they were first opened in this country. A small frame containing a dozen specimens would draw a crowd. One mm wmilil iiti1trfnL-o tn doenriho bow thcv wtirt .nmh, ..You i00k In the machine, and the picture comes-lf you look long enough." Another wouh! say: "It is not so much the looking that does it. The sun burns It In If you keep still." Another made It all very plain by stating, "The plate Is a look ing glass, and when you sit in front ot It your shadow sticks on the plate. now it came about was never i... , . ... i. I h.iiu ii, oui uie impression oecame i general that the slttr must not wink I.. ... ao opersitor or Intelligence ever toil the sitter not to wink, for the effort to refrain would have given the eye an "mtlir!" expression. YS found It a uulJ lu U,L s,lter lo winK as suai; ...I.. ..I...- .1.1 ....i. ....... .1. T . ' picture. Even then It was not alway .....i.tnod n,, id idv im,,o.i 0f ci,.,jr before a sitting was half over, raising both hands and exclaim lug: "Stop it. stop It! I winked! Another remarkable fact was that sitters seldom acknowledged their own "Kenesses. am good but mine," was -"' "Vision. S coupie eAuiuuiuiB uieu picuues cauie to this conclusion. "Marin, yours is per fuct but tl s does not look like me. Hut the old lady answPK?d "Joeius yours Is as natural as life, but mine is a failure." After a longer consultation the old gentleman said, "We must know ej,ch otncr l)etter Umn we know ulMni'l At one time when Daniel Webster sat for a daguerreotype the finished picture was held before him Turning away, he said: "I am not to judge of my own looks. It is for you to judge, an 1 you must decide whether the work is worthy of your reputa tion." A. Bogardus in Century MISTAKES IN LIFE. Brooding Over Them In 1'iteleHK nnd L'nprotltahle AVorl. One of the most unprofitable ways of spending time is the practice, to which insiny persons are addicted, of brooding over the mistakes one has made in life and thinking what he might have. been or achieved If he had not done at certain times Just what he did do. Almost every unsuccessful man in looking over his past career is inclined to think that it would have 1 been wholly different but for certain slips and blunders certain hasty, ill considered acts into which he was be trayed almost unconsciously and with out a suspicion of their consequences. As he thinks of all the good things of this world honor, position, power and Influence of which he has been deprived in some mysterious, inexplica ble way, lie lisis no patience with him self, and sis it is painful and humiliat ing to dwell long upon one's own fol lies It is fortunate if he does not im plicate others friends and relatives in his disappointments. Perhaps, as education has never been free from mistakes - mistakes Indeed of every kititl he Imputes the blame to his earlv trsiiulmr. in which habits of thor oughness and ium racy or. again, of self reliance and independence of thought may not have been implant ed. Perhaps a calling was chosen for him by his parents without regard to his peculiar talents or tastes sintl pref erences, or if he was allowed to choose for himself It was when his judgment wsis immature smd unfit for the respon sibility. The result was that the square man got into the round hole or the tri angular man got into tne square nine or the round msiu squeezed himself into the triangular hole. -Success. THE TERM "BLACKLEG." It I'rohnhly f'nine From SporlliiR .Men Who Wore Illnetc Top IluotM The term blackleg, which has come to mean one who systematically tries to win nioiii'y by cheating in connection with races or with cards, billiards or other gsitnes of skill or chsiuce and is used as synonymous with a swindler, a welsher, is of uncertain origin. Some authorities connect It with the blsiek legs of si game cock, so much used by the sporting fraternity for betting pur poses. According to another and more prob sible view, the expression had no dis graceful sense attached to it at first but was sipplied to turf and sporting men because they were often In the hsibit of wearing black top boots. When blsickleg hsid thus become a current phrsise for professional sporting men. it probably passed into use sis applied more particularly to those who took an unfair advsiutsige of their opportunities to chesit the iinwsiry. The derivation of this term was once solemnly argued before the full court of queen's bench upon a motion for a new trial for libel, but thsit learned tribunal was unable to decide Its or igin. The Study of Xulnre. I confess I have not much sympathy with the laboratory study of nature ex cept for economical purposes. Nature under the dissecting knife sind the nil eroscope yields Important secrets to the students of biology, but the unpro- lessional students want but little of all this. I know a young woman who took a postgraduate course iu biology at a noted summer school, and the one thing she learned was that certain ba cilli were found only In the aqueous humor of the eyes of white mice. The world is full of curious facts like that, that have no human Interest or educa tional value whatever. John Bur roughs in Country Life In America. Pride of Anceiitry. "We can't afford to recognize them. Their ancestors were In trade." "Weren't ours?" "Of course, but our trade ancestors nre two generations further back than theirs." Chicago Post Merely Going;. Smith I woke up last night with a horrible suspicion that my new gold ..itch was gone. So strong was the impression that I got up to look. r.iow4 Well, was It gone? Smith No. but it was going. .v SHORT STORIES A GltidHtone Anecdote. The sarcastic cheer is very common, and I recall one fatal example of Its use. Mr. Gladstone was once drawing very remarkable conclusions from some figures, an art in which he was an unapproaehed master. A member on the other side laughed out a "Hear, hear!" ironically. Gladstone stopped Instantly and turned and looked with Interest at the interrupter, who as suredly would at that moment have given a good deal to recall his words. Then he turimd back to the speaker. "Sir." he said, "the honorable gentle man laughs." For a minute or two he quoted from memory a long string of figures proving the accuracy of what he had previously said. "The next time the honorable member laughs," he con tinued iu honeyed tones. "I would ad vise him I would venture to counsel him to ornament his laugh to deco rate it with an idea." Henry Norman in Century. Carried III Samplex. During a recent meeting of the Louis ville presbytery Delegate Hsiwthoriie of Princeton, ssij-s the New York Trib une, told this story of pioneer days and vouched for its accuracy: One of the circuit riders in my psirt of the state was extremely fond of pepper sauce, smd as he could .seldom find any strong enough at places where he stop pod he always carried si bottle with him. lie happened to be at si hotel one night, though he usually stopped at the yes. iihotiu:k. said tiik mimsteh. home of si friend. A man sat sicros the table fro. 11 him suid. seeing the sauce, asked if the minister would share it with him. The request wsis granted, aud the stranger poured out a liberal allowance of the ssuice into his soup. At the first .wallow he made a wry face and blurted out. ".Minister. Uo you preach eternal tireV" "Yes. brother," was the reply. "Why do you ask?" "Hoesuise you are the first preacher 1 ever ssiw who carried samples, was the answer. Little i notion In It. John Morley. t lit? biographer of (Mail stone, being commended lor the seri ous teaching ot ins writings, said laughingly: "No: that is all wrong. You remember the French story of the monk who was a great friend of the devil quite an old story. One Sunday the monk found himself too ill to preach, smd the devil appearing iu the sacristy he persuaded that obliging person to go into the pulpit and Int ra ngue the congregation. The devil preached a most masterly sermon, cov ering himself with slisune and confu sion. 'How now,' said the monk when the devil came down. 'You have pret ty nearly ruined yourself with that sermon. 'Oh. dear, 110,' answered the devil; 'no harm done, no lisirm done. There was no unction in it.' Well, there is little unction in 1113 poor books." It Certainly Vt'ii.t Odd. The Duke of Uoxbtirghe hsis in his castle at Kelso a number of line family portraits. Some of the rooms at Kelso sire thrown open to the public on certain days. The duke sometimes tells of st remark that he once hesird a stranger make while looking through these rooms. The strsinger had halted beneath two paintings that hung side by side. They were portraits of the third duke and his son, but the father hsid been paint ed in his childhood, the son in his old age. It was this that perplexed the stran ger. He studied the portrait a long 1 time. Then he said: "Is It possible that this gentleman was an old man when his father was born?" Rochester Herald. Waited For the Score. This story wsis told sit si dinner in New York recently, with Mayor Me Clellan as the authority for it: Mrs. McCosh, widow of President McCosh of Princeton, was on her wa to a prayer meeting where she is a regular attendant. There was a foot ball game that afternoon, and Mrs. McCosh stopped to find out about the score, it was isile, (i: Princeton, 0. Much to the astonishment of the others at the prayer meeting Mrs. Mc Cosh was late. Services were well un der way when she did arrive, and she was smilliti; Joyously. "It's 00 now," she announced in a loud whisper as she took her seat. Wn Not Dclihcrittc. "Johnny," said his mother. "I'm afraid you told me a deliberate false hood." "No; I didn't, mamma." protested Johnny. "I told It In an awful hurry." St. Paul Dispatch. The Illot on Human Xnturc. The recital of a man's happiness and the story of his troubles alike bore us. but If forced to choose we find more pleasure in hearing the troubles. New Orleans Times-Democrat. APPLES FOR BREAKFAST. A Pri-mrllillnn Tliat MttV SaVe YOU Many u Doctor' Fee. The true, not the new, should be the motto of those who write or speak about the apple, the fruit longest in use by our branch of the human race. There are certain simple principles that must be given, line upou line, pre cept upon precept, to every ?resh gener ation of men or rather should be given just about that time that the genera tion is beginning to lose Its freshness and to call on the doctor for remedies Every well to do man of good digestion and appetite tends to eat too much meat every day after his twenty-fifth birthdsiy. and one of the values of fruit, the apple above others, is the ease with which it may be made an "sintiuiesit for breakfast" article. With baked apples and cream and gooi roast potsitoes on the breakfast table the dish of cold or hot meat becomes subordinate even if it is not entirely abolished. Men of forty, the age when eve.-y 11. .111 not a fool is supposed to have acquired the right to give niedica advice, sit lesist to himself, will relate their various wonderful discoveries and reinsirkable self cures just as they had given up all hope, and in general these reduce themselves to this: "I ate less niesit. but I did not know It, and I took a great deal more fruit, especially ap pies." Raked apples for breakfast tend to reduce the amount of meat eaten If we are inclined to eat too much and to supply the system with mineral foods and the digestive tract with acids People who eat too much food are not Ar be advised to eat baked apples as a mere- addition to the breakfast, and those who need a substsintlal meal must not let the baked apple interfere with the taking of solio food. As a rule, those who eat three meals per diem will wisely have the nicest dish of baked apples obtainable for break fast It Is a piece of simple wisdom worth pages of ordinary medical litera ture. The digestion of milk is some what delayed by sour fruits, but pure, rich cream is not milk, and tsiken with a juicy baked apple what dish can be more tempting and wholesome? If you are twenty-eight or thirty-five. Inclined to ring the doctor's bell and talk with your druggist, try this pre scription. You maj' put sugsir on the apples, but we shall not sugar coat the remedy with any inj'stery or any claim to novelty. We merely turn to your good wife or your housekeeper and ask whether she Is careful to give you nice roast apples and cream ami to msike the bresikfsist meat dishes as little tfi- pting as may be.- American Gar den. PRE-EMPTED BY BIRDS. The Noddles Thnt Own UIrd Key, In the Gulf of .Mexico. Out In the gulf of Mexico sixty-five miles from Key West toward the set tim; sun rise half a dozen barren sand bsirs from the exquisite turquoise blue wsiters. One of these. Garden key. Is a government fort and coaling station; another is the Loggerhead key. our last outpost toward Cuba and Central America. Other islets are untenanted save when the great sea turtles crawl, (me alone. I'ird key. Is pre-empted by the birds. It would be hard to find a more desolate or Isolated region. Though the climate Is warm through out the yesir. It Is not until May that the feathered hosts arrive from the far south sit this sandy rendezvous. In the van come the noddies, a few about the 1st of May and the rest within a few days. A week later the sooty terns pour In. and It is ssiid that within a week of their arrival both kinds begin to lay. At the time of our coming nearly all the birds hsid egirs and were devoting themselves to their familv cares. To reach the buildings from the little lauding plsice we had to pass through a tract of bushes, and here it wsis that I saw the first nests of the noddies. Up on the tops or in the forks of the bush es each pair had built a rather rude yet fairly substantial platform of sticks, only slightly hollowed, and upon each one sat si dark grsiy bird. There was something about these graceful little creatures thsit instantly took me by torm. si case of love sit lirst sight. The noddy is very much like a dove ex cept for its webbed feet in size. In form, iu the softness of its plumage. Hie expression of its large dark eyes and its gentle, confiding ways. There is no wild affright as the stranger ap preaches. Just a shadow of fear Is evi dent, but the birds sit quietly on their nests, hoping and trusting, and do not fly unless approached almost within sirin's reach. Then they flit gently away, alighting upon a neighboring bush until the intruder has withdrawn. when they return directlv to their charge. It seemed remarkable to find birds so perfectly tame. Outing. PITH AND POINT. nen a menu tells you of Ids wrongs he wants sympathy ami not an argu ment. Refore a man's first baby is a week old he knows more than he had ever dresiined about. Speaking of "secret sorrows." It Is a good plan to keep them so. as telling only multiplies them. When a 111:111 wants to give you ad vice you can't lose anything by listen ing, but you will make au enemy by refusing. a man occasionally hrcaus even. When it comes to wall paper the wife does the picking and the husband does the kicking. ii 1 . . rery one should nave saved up enough money to take things a little easier by the time the age comes for taking a nap in a chair. Atchison Globe. .tone llettcr. Mrs. Wise I wouldn't have bought eigsirs for my husband If I were you. A man doesn't like his wife to do that. Mrs. Mcliride-l know it's riskv unless you're very careful to get the best, but I was careful. Mrs. Wise Were you? Mrs. McPride Yes. I picked out a box- called "Kiuest made." There couldn't possibly be anything better than that, you know. I've never any pity for conceited peo ple, because 1 think they carry theh comfort about with them. Georgj Eliot CHOICE MISCELLANY Politenea and Crime. Our language and vocabulary, with our growing slackness, are changing. We are carrying things (otherwise in supportable) with a laugh and coining phrases for the purpose. As has been said, we are still sensitive to such coarse words as "thief" and "steal," but It Is vain to deny among ourselves that certain unchallenged doings of to day forcibly suggest those terms. So we save our face with an indulgent gayety not devoid of humor. We give a twist and a turn to the rapidly ehsing ing English language, and the ugly words disappear In the process. When a conductor steals a fare we jocularly remark that he Is "knocking down on the company;" when we steal a ride from the same eompsiny and con ductor we laughingly refer to our suc cess in "beating the game:" when we bribe we merely "influence" or "square things;" when we are bribed we col lect "assessments" or "rebates" ir "commissions" or "retainers." smd : on until we reach a grave definition of "honest graft," which would be me humorous If so many people did 11: : feel that the term supplied them wit 1 ra long felt want. Now. these exten sions and others like them may btir :i strong resemblance to thieves" sSa::-. but they merely reflect the lanutiace of a people unconsciously retreat insr U .1 lower moral level. Everybody's Maga zine. Senator CnrmneU' Utile Joke. "Senator E. W. Cstrmnek of Tennes see Is quite a wag." s.isd si former Ten nessee politician. "About twenty years ago he was a member of the county court of Maury county. Tenn.. and ex tracted a great deal of fun from the deliberations of thsit staid if some times stupid body. One of Carmack's tricks brought the cottrt n toriety if not fame. The justice, who knew as little about the constitution as a jay bird knows about the Ko:-:in and cared less, wsis grinding out laws regulating everything under the sun. Justice Carniack arose ami presented a reso lution which recite! in its preamble the uselessness of constitutions In gen- ersil smd the depravity of the Tennes- . f . .... .1 see oruantc isiw in parucinsir ami wound up the resolve that 'the consti tution be and the same is hereby abol ished.' Cstrmack made a brilliant and stirrinir speech, working the court up to a frenzy of indignation. At the close of his effort the court psissed the reso lution with a whoop. Nobody smiled. not even Cannae';, sit ti e time, but next d:iy when the" news was scattered bro:Me:sst the state roared in apprecl- ition." Ririninghsiin News. Stumped For a Substitute For SIau)C. "It's pivtt;. hard to avoid the use of slang these days." remarked a well known professor of English literature. t smy rsite there are certain expres sions which aren't found in the diction ary that can't be duplicated very well. l'he other day sifter I had just given a lecture to my class, advising them against the u.e of slang, a bright young fellow came to me wun 1111s query: " 'What would you substitute in place of "jumped over 111 the sen tence. "He Jumped all over the um pire?" ' "Well, I have to confess that that sentence was too much for tne. I tried substituting various words, such as criticise, complained about, etc.. but they all failed to give the adequate meaning. I gave an excuse to my pu pil thsit this was a baseball expression and couldn't be altered, but that didn't satisfy my own conscience as to the growing use of slsing." Philadelphia Press. A "Triple Alliance." Some of the Albanians whose insur rectionary operations have been an oc casion for concern both to Turkey and to the powers which are trying to com pel reforms in that region are curious ly Ignorant as to the conditions In the outer world. A writer who visited an Albanian monastery says: "The fact that I write impressed these worthy frisirs greatly, ami Padre Cioacchino. politician, sis are sill Albanians, made a wonderful suggestion. 'Write a long article, my son. he exclaimed enthusi astically. Thou knowest us and the bravery of my nation. Suggest an al liance against Europe that will assur edly destroy the balance of the pow ers ltie alliance which the padre ex pected to overturn the balance of pow er was to consist of England. Italy and Albania." Women and Hook. Professor York-Powell is a devout lover of books. We remember hear ing him read a paper to a society in Oxford which Illustrated both this de votion and his pretty wit. Touching upon the dangers to their treasures against which book lovers should be on their guard, he denounced the Ir reverent treatment of books by woman kind. A woman, he said, if she were interrupted In her reading smd wanted not to lose the plsice she had reached. would put the book down, open ami face downward, on the table or on the lawn or anywhere. Woman. In faer. was one of the great standing menaces to books. The other, bv the wsiv. was insects. London News. Married In Two Lnnirnnirei. Uecnuse the bride could not under- stand English and the groom could not underststnd German County Judsre il. W. Murray of Springfield. III., found it necesssiry the other day to perform a wedding in the two languages. The couple gave their names as Lou is Maudra and Miss Wylte Wetti. the former twenty-six and the latter nine teen years of age. The ceremony was first said in English, the groom giving the responses, and then in German, to which the bride made replies. Detroit Tribune. A "Wronsr Iden. A certain officious person once blus tered into the office of W. J. Hender- 80n' thu mus,c crlt,c uml be"' to tell hhu what was the matter with Jean de Reszkc's Interpretation of War ner's "Tristan." 'In the first place," said the caller. In confident tones, "he's got the wrong Idea." Mr. Henderson looked at him a mo ment. "Well," he remarked, "he cot his idea from Wagner. Where did you get yours?"