BANDON RECORDEH.
THE SICILIAN.
Illn Life In Hedged About by n Seriea
of Abxtirtl Superxlit lon.
People of Sicily are vastly supersti
tious. The Sicilian believes, to give a
few examples, in the existence of a
double tailed lizard which condescends
to take in its mouth the winning num
Iters of the lottery. He believes it is
unlucky to marry or begin n journey
on a Tuesday or a Friday. He believes
in tin power of maledictions and of the
evil eye ami attempts to defend him
nelf airainst them by wearing amulets,
such as the eorno. a coral imitation of
the horn of the gosit; by spitting three
times on the ground while pronouncing
a niasric formula or (in certain dis
irietst by invoking the name of Yirgil
who omehow acquired during the mid
die siifs st bizarre reputation as a msi
tjilcinn. He believes in sorcerers, tit
whom a goodly milliner practice pro
fessionally m his island, selling to him
among other wonder working charms
trrotcsque coloretl images of St. Paul to
be attached ti barren fruit trees and
barrels in which wine hsis soured. He
believes that a person born on :i Fri
day is able to predict the future aud
thsit a person born on .Tune -1) (the fete
of St. Paul, who was unharmed by the
viper which encircled his hand is .nble
to do both these things aud to charm
serpents besides.
SORRY SHE SPOKE.
The MlNtnke That Wn Made by
n
ew York .Milliner.
One of the richest and most promi
nent society women in New York
eausrht an unexpected glimpse of the
reverse ide of a Fifth avenue trades
woman's manners the other day. The
society woman in question is very
quiet anil unostentatious in her dress,
and it is only the appointment of her
equipage that betrays the fact that she
is wealthy. She stopped her carriage
outside the establishment of a fashion
able milliner, entered and addressed
the proprieire.-s.
"I see you have in your window a
sisn. 'Apprentice Wanted.' " she beiran.
The milliner eyed her contemptuous
ly from the crown of her modest bon
net to the tip of her common sense
shoe.
"You would not do at all." she ssiid.
"I want a ladylike person who can
wait on customers."
"I wished to place one of my maids
with some one from whom she could
learn millinery while 1 am abrosul."
continued the visitor quietly, "but I'm
afraid you would not do."
As the footman opened the carriage
door for his mistress the horror strick
en millwun- reeoirnized too late the liv
ery of one of the "first families" of
New York. -New York Press.
CROWS AND ROOKS.
There Are Many Point of Difference
Hetween These HirilM.
Scientifically corvus is the generic
title of the bird family which includes
crows, rooks, ravens and jackdaws.
A main diMinetion between crows
"1 twK i.- thai Mink uml i:i;i ciowm,
which are found always in psiirs. are
migrants, retreating southward with
the advance of winter, while rooks are
gregarious and remain where they have
been in the habit of nesting. Trows.
too, are carrion eaters, while rooks
though fond of grubs and worms, wil;
not touch dead things unless dm on to
do so by hunsrer.
J he most obvious individual points
of difference between the two sire tin:
aos-enee oi learners irom tne face ot
the adult rook, givimr it a vulture-like
look, to which its characteristics other
wise hardly entitle it, and the fact
that its feathers are of si rich purple
black, almost iridescent, while tin
plumage of the black crow is in shad
ing somewhat like a badly polihcd
boot ami possesses but little luster.
Wooden Shoe In Holland.
"I he wooilen shoe." aid si native of
Holland, "is worn almost exclusively
by the peasant classes, stud they find
them more comfortable than the lejith-
or shoes that are worn in America. Tin
foot is clad in a heavy woolen stock
nig and then slipped into the shoe
without fsistenin. They never I'sill oft
because the people sire used to wearing
tl.om. They would mr exchange, be
cause any other kind would not ht
comtortable. The sht.es are of elm
wood ami cost from 10 to !." cents of
American money. Two psiirs will last
a your."
Animal Criminal.
As st species of hardened crimiustls
among placid herhh oroiis auimsils none
is worse than the bisoii. or Aniericsin
buffalo. Toward mstii and beast smd
even among themselves these vicious,
vindictive ami agile brutes, whose hsilf
brothers on the other continents do not
four even the terrific onslaughts of
Hons aud tigers, sue in si state of sil
most continual warfare. They are
among the wickedest rogues ever seen
in a zoo. Met 'lure's .Magazine.
A HitlM-r of I'icklr.
"Anything I can do for you, insul
itin;" asked the clerk in the seed store.
"Yes." answered the sweet thing,
tapping the counter with a tsiperlng
finger. "I wish to ascertain If bottled
pickle seeds will grow sis well sis those
of the bulk variety":" Indianapolis
Sun.
DetsrlnniiiR: Afrcnh.
Mr. Yexsi'.l (angrily 1 hate si womsin
who always contradicts everything a
"man says. If I don't I'm sin idiot. Mrs.
Yexall (sweetly) -Well, dear, I'll turu
over a new lesif ami commence right
now by not contradicting you.
A Hair Itextorer.
"You promised me." she ssiid coldly,
"to return the lock of hair I gave you
and"
"Gee whiz!" he interrupted. "Do you
tsike me for a hair restorer?" Ex
change. The safest way of not being very
miserable Is not to expect to be very
happy. Schopenhauer.
A wise philosopher gives us tins ad
vice: "Tell the truth to at least three
men your doctor, your lawyer ami
your banker."
1 POLLY III
There are ways and ways of adver
tising, and every successful firm has
realized long :igo the value of the dif
ferent forms of making known to the
public their various stocks of goods,
etc. One man will not have anything
but fence advertisements, and he will
pay :i good price to anyone who will
bring a catchy ad. that will attract
the attention of passers-by. Another
man will Hend all of his snare time
: . . . .. . .. .i. si t.
w ruing up new spasmus, aim ieueves
1 1....... : . .... 4 .. ..11..;.. 1 1. ..
wicie i in. iiinei w ay 10 uuuiiii uiu
good results that every advertiser is
seeking. The hitter is right, too, for
even if the men of the household do
not rend the ads mntiiiieiiiLr the inniiv
bargains their wiviw and grown up
, , , . . j
tiaughters do. Mime WMineu watch
eagerly for the bargain ads., and the
war situation and other events of the
day holt! no interest for them until
they have run their eye over the ad-
vertisenients in the paper and found
where the biggest bargain sales were
announced, and then some wise little
l.,.le .,..,1 ....... ii-vvi.,. .1..
, :. V'1' c' " "J J . "
ie;iu oeueciuai uew spsiper au vei ns -
iiii i:ivs, 1 ufy kuow u is u iooiisu
ipiestion when they tusk it, for some of
... ...
them would as soon think of going
w ithout their cupof delicious eoti'ee for
breakfast sis to deprive themselves of
the plesiMireof their morning ad. read-
ing. I heard a lsidy remark the other
day, "1 never ditl care much for read-
ing, and if it were not for the ad ver-
ti.-ements I would never open a paper."
gentleman engaged in the dry goods
bii!.iiies in one of our prosperous inland
tow ns grumbled at his newspaper ail-
vertising bill, claiming that no one
read them and that it didn't pay well
enough for the money invested. "Yerv
wen, sam tne snrewu newspaper man,
... tt M 1
wiu natui ta doubt 111 Ins own mind
as to the etlicacy of the well written
advertisement. "Now 1 have a proposi
tion to make you, and if it brings no
results I will print your advertisement
fnv for si whole year. You sire to get
a lot of trinkets say paper dolls for the
girls, si toy cannon or spinning tops for
the boys. Away down in the corner of
your sitlil I will print in small type,
' PI... I. 1...:...-: .1.;. .1 . .
1 01- lh in i;ni ouni;iiig i uis ail. IO
Mr. I 's store on Saturdav will re-
eivea gift.' I'll warrant you'll have
to have a 111:111 just to attend to the de
mands of the wee folks." The drv
goods merchant agreed to this and laid
in a .-dock of trillcs that would delight
the hearts of Ikvs and girls, although
le wsis convinced in his own mind
that he would havea hard time getting
rid of the loxes of gifts he had nur
mased for thcexperinieiit. Theshrewd
newspsiper man printed a nunilerof ex
tra papers, believing that there would
e si run 011 hiotlice. Saturday morn
ing came, and when the proprietor of
the store appeared there were several
joys and girls who lielieved in "first
ome first .-orved," waiting for him at
the door. Every one of them had the
advertisement cut out or the whole pa
per with the ad. marked. Hv noon the
oys smd girls were in line entering in
orderly fsi.-hion to get the gifts. Onlv
one or two failed to .-how the advertise-
uieiit as requested and there wsu si ,rood J
exeiiM-coniingfroni the omission. "The
new-paper ollice didn't haveanv more.
Mr. 15- ," and on this plea they got
their gift-. Iiefore half the afternoon
had waned the firm hsid to announce
that the supply hsitl given out and that
there were no more presents for that
Saturdav. A number of the little folks
went stwsiy feeling abueil to think
they hail been left out. "I ackuowl-
edge I wsis wrong." aid the merchant
to llie wide-awake newspaper man. "I
did the higgot dav's work 1 have ever
doiiein the toic Not only the chil-
dreii came, but their mothers sis well
smd nearly everv one Umirlit some-
thing before they went out. Count me
down sis one of your biggest sulvertisers
f ron 1 now on. I confe.-s thsit you have
thoroughly converted me into being a M
very strong believer in-t he benefit of
printer's ink rightly u.-ed."
Last winter, just iiefore the holidays,
one of the San Krancisco drv goods
merchants advert i.-ed that Santa Claus
would be at their stores in the after-
noons siinl for every child coming with
its parents he would give a box of can-
tly. Thsit -tore was swarmed with the
little folks. Thcv had to enter the
dure in line and they blocked the side-
walk. "Please man:," said one dirty-
fsiced, rsigged little girl to Polly, "won't
you be my mother? I want to go in
and see Santa CIsius, ami you can't go
in unless you have your mother along;
111 v mother is dead." I wsis dubious
iboul adopting the little waif until she
told me her mother had been taken
iw siy. That decided me, however, and
I took her by her dirty little hand that
ooked asif it had not been acquainted
with Msip and water for many a long
lay suid boldly marched past the sen-
fine! sit the door. He had heard the
reqiio?-t aud smiled as we wended our
way w ith the throng tosee Santa Claus
with his merry old fsice. When 1 got
isick to the sulewsilk with my charge I
ound I had gotten myself into a world
f trouble, for there stood a howling
young mob of little urchins, boys and
iris, pushing and .scrambling to get to
me and asking with almost one voice,
'Won't you be my mother?" "I just
want to see Santa Clans." "I'll bo good
lady." "I won't iimkcyou 110 trouble."
"Don't you take Jiim, lady; he's been
in five times already and has had live
boxes or candy." And with numerous
other pleas ringing in my ears from
the throng of poor and ill-clad children
that crowded around the door, I made
my escape, but not before a big burly
policeman had made his appearance'.
and ordered the crowd of pleading little
folks to scatter and not take up the
he said. Yet I think the sight of the
children waiting for a peep at .Santa
Claus and for the tiny box of hard,
common candy, touched him almost
as much as it did Pollv.
But, as I said before, there are ways
and ways of advertising. One of our
big department stores in ban Fran-
ctsco has advertised free delivery to all
the near-by towns. That advertise
ment is a tempting bait to housekeepers,
hut they should stop and think the
matter over before making their pur-
chases. It is not just to the home nier
chants who will sell von the eroeeries
I " o
i...iii. , . ..
uuu ouier supplies just as cheap as tne
I O.... t.i t. . a . -
" r nuicisco iiierciiauis, suid every
dollar spent at home benefits your town
and the money is kept in circulation
just where it will do the most good and
advance the iufor.wt of tl... ,d......
' , ...v ,UH,u J""
are pleased to call home. Every dollar
. 4l ,, . J ,
3 ou give the ban Irancisco merchants
is thrown away so far as your town is
concerned, lou expect your mer-
chants to keep an up-to-date stock and
you are displeased if you want some-
thing in a hurry to think he does not
have it on his shelves. You term i,im
a "back number." Who is to blame
f,r Jf !...- I,;.. i i... :..
,: " , " "
141011 ueipuig 10 enricu me jiropri-
i uiun oi mu uig uepuriniuni, siores at
1 . .... - 1
tne expense of their own merchants,
Housekeepers will be guilty of this,
and yet if any charitable work has to
be done or church entertainments be
given to raise funds, they swarm in on
their home mei chants with the request
to give, give, and are annoyed when
they don't see their way clear to always
meet the demands made upon them
They have families to support, and
remember, the most iniluential and
wealthier town people give their money
to San Francisco merchants instead of
patronizing their home people
BRIEF REVIEW.
Americans In Corea.
Americans have an electric street
railway in Seoul anil a gold mine in the
north which employs fifty or sixty for
eigners and 1:200 Coreans, and pays into
the imperial treasury an annual royalty
of li'joOO. America should have a
special interest in Corea, as one of our
four small Asiatic wars w:ls with ('ore-i
a generation ago. For years an Ameri
can was foreign adviser to the Emperor,
and I once heard an earnest t'orean ar
guing in favor of America's assuming a
protectorate over his land. Hut our
chief contribution to Corea is neither
commercial nor political, but moral anil
religious. There sire about l.'U) Ameri
can missionaries in the land, with ."0,
000 adherents. And the influence
which Christianity hits already exerted
has been as an awakening of the dead.
The possible triumph of Hussia hangs
as a pall overall the American interests
iu the land. The triumph of Japan
would lie tne guarantee of progress and
1 j . I
civilization.
The Bullseye.
Why is the target's bullseyeso called?
This is one of the many instances iu our
language where words have gained a
higher status than that with which
tluy started and have been promoted
from the slang dictionary to the die-
tionary of words of respectable and cur-
rcnt U6- Bullseye is found in the die-
1 . . .
tionary of I lie Canting Crew" :is far
M;ick HM) und was the vulgar word
for t,,u central ring of the target used
,LS :l ,llIirk for archers, which wsis col-
orea "Werently from the other rings.
this may have arisen from the ancient
rounded shields, cut out of ox hide and
strengthened with a spike or central
lKrW H,r this shield or target; hence tar-
K-1 was often used as a msirk itself.
When sheet glass began to be iiisuiu-
pictured the thickened part, where the
tube had been attached, was called the
hullseye. 1 heii this term was succes-
Uively applied to a lens of glass, especi-
' il ship's side, to the lens of a lan-
uni to the lantern itself, and finally
the central Uissofsi target.
Used "Big Language."
"How some people do jxse," said a
big, raw-lKined Westerner named Hank
Custer at the Louisville Hotel. "They
se great big words just to make people
think they are smart. I think that
the weakest of all aflectations is that of
using what is called 'big language' iu-
stwui )f tl,orie simple terms which at
lirst present themselves to every person
01 common sense. At my home iu Ne
hraska the other day u young lady as
tounded my household by asking the
loan of a 'diminutive, argenteous, trim
cat til cone, convex on its summit and
semi - perforated with symmetrical in
dentations.' She wanted si thimble."
(Queen Alexandra owns one of the
most valuable pairs of opera glasses in
the world. They areof platinum thick-
ly incrusted with diamonds, rubicsaiid
sapphires and are said to have cost the
enormous sum of $yo,000.
An exchange .says a lioston woman
fell 011 the sidewalk and broke one of
her legs. Ridiculous? There are 110
legs in Boston. Limbs are used ex
clusively. A woman simply can't help having
faith iu a man who notices when she
has on a new gown.
.Husbands pay for the line feathers
that make the fine birds; bachelore ad
mire them.
The average of suicides is lower iu
Ireland than in any country in the
world.
A girl is always willing to admit she
is fat if she doesn't weigh more than 110
pounds.
THE DAGUERREOTYPE.
Odd otluna Concerning: the Proceu
When It Warn Sew.
Many amusing remarks were made
at the doors of daguerreotype galleries
when they were first opened in this
country. A small frame containing a
dozen specimens would draw a crowd.
One mm wmilil iiti1trfnL-o tn doenriho
bow thcv wtirt .nmh, ..You i00k In the
machine, and the picture comes-lf you
look long enough." Another wouh!
say: "It is not so much the looking that
does it. The sun burns It In If you
keep still." Another made It all very
plain by stating, "The plate Is a look
ing glass, and when you sit in front ot
It your shadow sticks on the plate.
now it came about was never
i... , . ... i.
I h.iiu ii, oui uie impression oecame
i
general that the slttr must not wink
I.. ...
ao opersitor or Intelligence ever toil
the sitter not to wink, for the effort to
refrain would have given the eye an
"mtlir!" expression. YS found It a
uulJ lu U,L s,lter lo winK as suai;
...I.. ..I...- .1.1 ....i. ....... .1.
T . '
picture. Even then It was not alway
.....i.tnod n,, id idv im,,o.i
0f ci,.,jr before a sitting was half
over, raising both hands and exclaim
lug: "Stop it. stop It! I winked!
Another remarkable fact was that
sitters seldom acknowledged their own
"Kenesses. am good but mine," was
-"' "Vision. S coupie
eAuiuuiuiB uieu picuues cauie to
this conclusion. "Marin, yours is per
fuct but tl s does not look like me.
Hut the old lady answPK?d "Joeius
yours Is as natural as life, but mine is
a failure." After a longer consultation
the old gentleman said, "We must
know ej,ch otncr l)etter Umn we know
ulMni'l
At one time when Daniel
Webster sat for a daguerreotype the
finished picture was held before him
Turning away, he said: "I am not to
judge of my own looks. It is for you
to judge, an 1 you must decide whether
the work is worthy of your reputa
tion." A. Bogardus in Century
MISTAKES IN LIFE.
Brooding Over Them In 1'iteleHK nnd
L'nprotltahle AVorl.
One of the most unprofitable ways
of spending time is the practice, to
which insiny persons are addicted, of
brooding over the mistakes one has
made in life and thinking what he
might have. been or achieved If he
had not done at certain times Just what
he did do. Almost every unsuccessful
man in looking over his past career is
inclined to think that it would have
1 been wholly different but for certain
slips and blunders certain hasty, ill
considered acts into which he was be
trayed almost unconsciously and with
out a suspicion of their consequences.
As he thinks of all the good things
of this world honor, position, power
and Influence of which he has been
deprived in some mysterious, inexplica
ble way, lie lisis no patience with him
self, and sis it is painful and humiliat
ing to dwell long upon one's own fol
lies It is fortunate if he does not im
plicate others friends and relatives
in his disappointments. Perhaps, as
education has never been free from
mistakes - mistakes Indeed of every
kititl he Imputes the blame to his
earlv trsiiulmr. in which habits of thor
oughness and
ium racy or. again, of
self reliance and independence of
thought may not have been implant
ed. Perhaps a calling was chosen for
him by his parents without regard to
his peculiar talents or tastes sintl pref
erences, or if he was allowed to choose
for himself It was when his judgment
wsis immature smd unfit for the respon
sibility. The result was that the square
man got into the round hole or the tri
angular man got into tne square nine
or the round msiu squeezed himself
into the triangular hole.
-Success.
THE TERM "BLACKLEG."
It I'rohnhly f'nine From SporlliiR
.Men Who Wore Illnetc Top IluotM
The term blackleg, which has come
to mean one who systematically tries
to win nioiii'y by cheating in connection
with races or with cards, billiards or
other gsitnes of skill or chsiuce and is
used as synonymous with a swindler,
a welsher, is of uncertain origin. Some
authorities connect It with the blsiek
legs of si game cock, so much used by
the sporting fraternity for betting pur
poses.
According to another and more prob
sible view, the expression had no dis
graceful sense attached to it at first
but was sipplied to turf and sporting
men because they were often In the
hsibit of wearing black top boots. When
blsickleg hsid thus become a current
phrsise for professional sporting men.
it probably passed into use sis applied
more particularly to those who took an
unfair advsiutsige of their opportunities
to chesit the iinwsiry.
The derivation of this term was once
solemnly argued before the full court
of queen's bench upon a motion for a
new trial for libel, but thsit learned
tribunal was unable to decide Its or
igin.
The Study of Xulnre.
I confess I have not much sympathy
with the laboratory study of nature ex
cept for economical purposes. Nature
under the dissecting knife sind the nil
eroscope yields Important secrets to
the students of biology, but the unpro-
lessional students want but little of all
this. I know a young woman who took
a postgraduate course iu biology at a
noted summer school, and the one
thing she learned was that certain ba
cilli were found only In the aqueous
humor of the eyes of white mice. The
world is full of curious facts like that,
that have no human Interest or educa
tional value whatever. John Bur
roughs in Country Life In America.
Pride of Anceiitry.
"We can't afford to recognize them.
Their ancestors were In trade."
"Weren't ours?"
"Of course, but our trade ancestors
nre two generations further back than
theirs." Chicago Post
Merely Going;.
Smith I woke up last night with a
horrible suspicion that my new gold
..itch was gone. So strong was the
impression that I got up to look.
r.iow4 Well, was It gone? Smith
No. but it was going.
.v SHORT STORIES
A GltidHtone Anecdote.
The sarcastic cheer is very common,
and I recall one fatal example of Its
use. Mr. Gladstone was once drawing
very remarkable conclusions from
some figures, an art in which he was
an unapproaehed master. A member
on the other side laughed out a "Hear,
hear!" ironically. Gladstone stopped
Instantly and turned and looked with
Interest at the interrupter, who as
suredly would at that moment have
given a good deal to recall his words.
Then he turimd back to the speaker.
"Sir." he said, "the honorable gentle
man laughs." For a minute or two he
quoted from memory a long string of
figures proving the accuracy of what he
had previously said. "The next time
the honorable member laughs," he con
tinued iu honeyed tones. "I would ad
vise him I would venture to counsel
him to ornament his laugh to deco
rate it with an idea." Henry Norman
in Century.
Carried III Samplex.
During a recent meeting of the Louis
ville presbytery Delegate Hsiwthoriie
of Princeton, ssij-s the New York Trib
une, told this story of pioneer days
and vouched for its accuracy: One of
the circuit riders in my psirt of the
state was extremely fond of pepper
sauce, smd as he could .seldom find any
strong enough at places where he stop
pod he always carried si bottle with
him. lie happened to be at si hotel one
night, though he usually stopped at the
yes. iihotiu:k. said tiik mimsteh.
home of si friend. A man sat sicros
the table fro. 11 him suid. seeing the
sauce, asked if the minister would
share it with him. The request wsis
granted, aud the stranger poured out
a liberal allowance of the ssuice into
his soup.
At the first .wallow he made a wry
face and blurted out. ".Minister. Uo you
preach eternal tireV"
"Yes. brother," was the reply. "Why
do you ask?"
"Hoesuise you are the first preacher 1
ever ssiw who carried samples, was
the answer.
Little i notion In It.
John Morley. t lit? biographer of (Mail
stone, being commended lor the seri
ous teaching ot ins writings, said
laughingly: "No: that is all wrong.
You remember the French story of the
monk who was a great friend of the
devil quite an old story. One Sunday
the monk found himself too ill to
preach, smd the devil appearing iu the
sacristy he persuaded that obliging
person to go into the pulpit and Int
ra ngue the congregation. The devil
preached a most masterly sermon, cov
ering himself with slisune and confu
sion. 'How now,' said the monk when
the devil came down. 'You have pret
ty nearly ruined yourself with that
sermon. 'Oh. dear, 110,' answered the
devil; 'no harm done, no lisirm done.
There was no unction in it.' Well,
there is little unction in 1113 poor
books."
It Certainly Vt'ii.t Odd.
The Duke of Uoxbtirghe hsis in his
castle at Kelso a number of line family
portraits.
Some of the rooms at Kelso sire
thrown open to the public on certain
days. The duke sometimes tells of st
remark that he once hesird a stranger
make while looking through these
rooms.
The strsinger had halted beneath two
paintings that hung side by side. They
were portraits of the third duke and
his son, but the father hsid been paint
ed in his childhood, the son in his old
age.
It was this that perplexed the stran
ger. He studied the portrait a long 1
time. Then he said:
"Is It possible that this gentleman
was an old man when his father was
born?" Rochester Herald.
Waited For the Score.
This story wsis told sit si dinner in
New York recently, with Mayor Me
Clellan as the authority for it:
Mrs. McCosh, widow of President
McCosh of Princeton, was on her wa
to a prayer meeting where she is a
regular attendant. There was a foot
ball game that afternoon, and Mrs.
McCosh stopped to find out about the
score, it was isile, (i: Princeton, 0.
Much to the astonishment of the
others at the prayer meeting Mrs. Mc
Cosh was late. Services were well un
der way when she did arrive, and she
was smilliti; Joyously.
"It's 00 now," she announced in
a loud whisper as she took her seat.
Wn Not Dclihcrittc.
"Johnny," said his mother. "I'm
afraid you told me a deliberate false
hood."
"No; I didn't, mamma." protested
Johnny. "I told It In an awful hurry."
St. Paul Dispatch.
The Illot on Human Xnturc.
The recital of a man's happiness and
the story of his troubles alike bore us.
but If forced to choose we find more
pleasure in hearing the troubles. New
Orleans Times-Democrat.
APPLES FOR BREAKFAST.
A Pri-mrllillnn Tliat MttV SaVe YOU
Many u Doctor' Fee.
The true, not the new, should be the
motto of those who write or speak
about the apple, the fruit longest in
use by our branch of the human race.
There are certain simple principles
that must be given, line upou line, pre
cept upon precept, to every ?resh gener
ation of men or rather should be given
just about that time that the genera
tion is beginning to lose Its freshness
and to call on the doctor for remedies
Every well to do man of good digestion
and appetite tends to eat too much
meat every day after his twenty-fifth
birthdsiy. and one of the values of
fruit, the apple above others, is the
ease with which it may be made an
"sintiuiesit for breakfast" article. With
baked apples and cream and gooi
roast potsitoes on the breakfast table
the dish of cold or hot meat becomes
subordinate even if it is not entirely
abolished. Men of forty, the age when
eve.-y 11. .111 not a fool is supposed to
have acquired the right to give niedica
advice, sit lesist to himself, will relate
their various wonderful discoveries and
reinsirkable self cures just as they had
given up all hope, and in general these
reduce themselves to this: "I ate less
niesit. but I did not know It, and I took
a great deal more fruit, especially ap
pies."
Raked apples for breakfast tend to
reduce the amount of meat eaten If we
are inclined to eat too much and to
supply the system with mineral foods
and the digestive tract with acids
People who eat too much food are not
Ar be advised to eat baked apples as a
mere- addition to the breakfast, and
those who need a substsintlal meal
must not let the baked apple interfere
with the taking of solio food. As a
rule, those who eat three meals per
diem will wisely have the nicest dish
of baked apples obtainable for break
fast It Is a piece of simple wisdom
worth pages of ordinary medical litera
ture. The digestion of milk is some
what delayed by sour fruits, but pure,
rich cream is not milk, and tsiken with
a juicy baked apple what dish can be
more tempting and wholesome?
If you are twenty-eight or thirty-five.
Inclined to ring the doctor's bell and
talk with your druggist, try this pre
scription. You maj' put sugsir on the
apples, but we shall not sugar coat the
remedy with any inj'stery or any claim
to novelty. We merely turn to your
good wife or your housekeeper and ask
whether she Is careful to give you nice
roast apples and cream ami to msike
the bresikfsist meat dishes as little
tfi- pting as may be.- American Gar
den. PRE-EMPTED BY BIRDS.
The Noddles Thnt Own UIrd Key, In
the Gulf of .Mexico.
Out In the gulf of Mexico sixty-five
miles from Key West toward the set
tim; sun rise half a dozen barren sand
bsirs from the exquisite turquoise blue
wsiters. One of these. Garden key. Is a
government fort and coaling station;
another is the Loggerhead key. our last
outpost toward Cuba and Central
America. Other islets are untenanted
save when the great sea turtles crawl,
(me alone. I'ird key. Is pre-empted by
the birds. It would be hard to find
a more desolate or Isolated region.
Though the climate Is warm through
out the yesir. It Is not until May that
the feathered hosts arrive from the far
south sit this sandy rendezvous. In the
van come the noddies, a few about the
1st of May and the rest within a few
days. A week later the sooty terns
pour In. and It is ssiid that within a
week of their arrival both kinds begin
to lay. At the time of our coming
nearly all the birds hsid egirs and were
devoting themselves to their familv
cares.
To reach the buildings from the little
lauding plsice we had to pass through a
tract of bushes, and here it wsis that I
saw the first nests of the noddies. Up
on the tops or in the forks of the bush
es each pair had built a rather rude yet
fairly substantial platform of sticks,
only slightly hollowed, and upon each
one sat si dark grsiy bird. There was
something about these graceful little
creatures thsit instantly took me by
torm. si case of love sit lirst sight. The
noddy is very much like a dove ex
cept for its webbed feet in size. In
form, iu the softness of its plumage.
Hie expression of its large dark eyes
and its gentle, confiding ways. There
is no wild affright as the stranger ap
preaches. Just a shadow of fear Is evi
dent, but the birds sit quietly on their
nests, hoping and trusting, and do not
fly unless approached almost within
sirin's reach. Then they flit gently
away, alighting upon a neighboring
bush until the intruder has withdrawn.
when they return directlv to their
charge. It seemed remarkable to find
birds so perfectly tame. Outing.
PITH AND POINT.
nen a menu tells you of Ids wrongs
he wants sympathy ami not an argu
ment.
Refore a man's first baby is a week
old he knows more than he had ever
dresiined about.
Speaking of "secret sorrows." It Is a
good plan to keep them so. as telling
only multiplies them.
When a 111:111 wants to give you ad
vice you can't lose anything by listen
ing, but you will make au enemy by
refusing.
a man occasionally hrcaus even.
When it comes to wall paper the wife
does the picking and the husband does
the kicking.
ii 1 . .
rery one should nave saved up
enough money to take things a little
easier by the time the age comes for
taking a nap in a chair. Atchison
Globe.
.tone llettcr.
Mrs. Wise I wouldn't have bought
eigsirs for my husband If I were you.
A man doesn't like his wife to do that.
Mrs. Mcliride-l know it's riskv unless
you're very careful to get the best, but
I was careful. Mrs. Wise Were you?
Mrs. McPride Yes. I picked out a box-
called "Kiuest made." There couldn't
possibly be anything better than that,
you know.
I've never any pity for conceited peo
ple, because 1 think they carry theh
comfort about with them. Georgj
Eliot
CHOICE MISCELLANY
Politenea and Crime.
Our language and vocabulary, with
our growing slackness, are changing.
We are carrying things (otherwise in
supportable) with a laugh and coining
phrases for the purpose. As has been
said, we are still sensitive to such
coarse words as "thief" and "steal,"
but It Is vain to deny among ourselves
that certain unchallenged doings of to
day forcibly suggest those terms. So
we save our face with an indulgent
gayety not devoid of humor. We give
a twist and a turn to the rapidly ehsing
ing English language, and the ugly
words disappear In the process.
When a conductor steals a fare we
jocularly remark that he Is "knocking
down on the company;" when we steal
a ride from the same eompsiny and con
ductor we laughingly refer to our suc
cess in "beating the game:" when we
bribe we merely "influence" or "square
things;" when we are bribed we col
lect "assessments" or "rebates" ir
"commissions" or "retainers." smd :
on until we reach a grave definition of
"honest graft," which would be me
humorous If so many people did 11: :
feel that the term supplied them wit 1
ra long felt want. Now. these exten
sions and others like them may btir :i
strong resemblance to thieves" sSa::-.
but they merely reflect the lanutiace of
a people unconsciously retreat insr U .1
lower moral level. Everybody's Maga
zine. Senator CnrmneU' Utile Joke.
"Senator E. W. Cstrmnek of Tennes
see Is quite a wag." s.isd si former Ten
nessee politician. "About twenty years
ago he was a member of the county
court of Maury county. Tenn.. and ex
tracted a great deal of fun from the
deliberations of thsit staid if some
times stupid body. One of Carmack's
tricks brought the cottrt n toriety if
not fame. The justice, who knew as
little about the constitution as a jay
bird knows about the Ko:-:in and cared
less, wsis grinding out laws regulating
everything under the sun. Justice
Carniack arose ami presented a reso
lution which recite! in its preamble
the uselessness of constitutions In gen-
ersil smd the depravity of the Tennes-
. f . .... .1
see oruantc isiw in parucinsir ami
wound up the resolve that 'the consti
tution be and the same is hereby abol
ished.' Cstrmack made a brilliant and
stirrinir speech, working the court up
to a frenzy of indignation. At the close
of his effort the court psissed the reso
lution with a whoop. Nobody smiled.
not even Cannae';, sit ti e time, but
next d:iy when the" news was scattered
bro:Me:sst the state roared in apprecl-
ition." Ririninghsiin News.
Stumped For a Substitute For SIau)C.
"It's pivtt;. hard to avoid the use of
slang these days." remarked a well
known professor of English literature.
t smy rsite there are certain expres
sions which aren't found in the diction
ary that can't be duplicated very well.
l'he other day sifter I had just given a
lecture to my class, advising them
against the u.e of slang, a bright
young fellow came to me wun 1111s
query:
" 'What would you substitute in
place of "jumped over 111 the sen
tence. "He Jumped all over the um
pire?" '
"Well, I have to confess that that
sentence was too much for tne. I tried
substituting various words, such as
criticise, complained about, etc.. but
they all failed to give the adequate
meaning. I gave an excuse to my pu
pil thsit this was a baseball expression
and couldn't be altered, but that didn't
satisfy my own conscience as to the
growing use of slsing." Philadelphia
Press.
A "Triple Alliance."
Some of the Albanians whose insur
rectionary operations have been an oc
casion for concern both to Turkey and
to the powers which are trying to com
pel reforms in that region are curious
ly Ignorant as to the conditions In the
outer world. A writer who visited an
Albanian monastery says: "The fact
that I write impressed these worthy
frisirs greatly, ami Padre Cioacchino.
politician, sis are sill Albanians, made a
wonderful suggestion. 'Write a long
article, my son. he exclaimed enthusi
astically. Thou knowest us and the
bravery of my nation. Suggest an al
liance against Europe that will assur
edly destroy the balance of the pow
ers ltie alliance which the padre ex
pected to overturn the balance of pow
er was to consist of England. Italy
and Albania."
Women and Hook.
Professor York-Powell is a devout
lover of books. We remember hear
ing him read a paper to a society in
Oxford which Illustrated both this de
votion and his pretty wit. Touching
upon the dangers to their treasures
against which book lovers should be
on their guard, he denounced the Ir
reverent treatment of books by woman
kind. A woman, he said, if she were
interrupted In her reading smd wanted
not to lose the plsice she had reached.
would put the book down, open ami
face downward, on the table or on the
lawn or anywhere. Woman. In faer.
was one of the great standing menaces
to books. The other, bv the wsiv. was
insects. London News.
Married In Two Lnnirnnirei.
Uecnuse the bride could not under-
stand English and the groom could not
underststnd German County Judsre il.
W. Murray of Springfield. III., found it
necesssiry the other day to perform a
wedding in the two languages.
The couple gave their names as Lou
is Maudra and Miss Wylte Wetti. the
former twenty-six and the latter nine
teen years of age. The ceremony was
first said in English, the groom giving
the responses, and then in German, to
which the bride made replies. Detroit
Tribune.
A "Wronsr Iden.
A certain officious person once blus
tered into the office of W. J. Hender-
80n' thu mus,c crlt,c uml be"' to tell
hhu what was the matter with Jean
de Reszkc's Interpretation of War
ner's "Tristan."
'In the first place," said the caller. In
confident tones, "he's got the wrong
Idea."
Mr. Henderson looked at him a mo
ment. "Well," he remarked, "he cot
his idea from Wagner. Where did you
get yours?"