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About Bandon recorder. (Bandon, Or.) 188?-1910 | View Entire Issue (June 25, 1903)
■ u' “Father Put." he’d say. “I hope ye're glvlu' my gray mare all the at tention ye should.” "Ocb. uiver mind, nlver mind. Rody.” Father Pat ’udsay; "the year isu’t up yet. It’s yerself bad better take good care h my »put led springer Mind. I'm wurnln' ye.” ...By StLMAS MACMANUS : But. aeh. Body would break bis hearty laugh iu at the foolishness iv the priest. 1 Copyright. ItMC, by beuuiu MacMauu« .< Well, the twe.’mouth seemed long pausin’ to Rody till he’d humiliate Fa ORNEY H1GARTY, the pen ther Pat. But the longest Iv time» ’ll ■loner, was au inveterate old puss some time, an’ the longest iv «to bachelor — or, »till worae, • rles ’ll some time have an end. An' misogynist — himself and had Body’s year, too. wore round at last It come to the last day Iv It, an' on many sarcastic tilings to »ay at till the women’» ex|*en»e. When the neighbor» tbat very evenin’ Itody met Father Pat gathered around the lire in Ida little at a neighbor’s funeral. "Well?" says Rody. caLln on winter night» and Toalua Gal “Well?” says Father Pat. lagher led off a general assault upon “What time will I be sendin' a gar- old bachelor«, Corney’a biting wit flowed freely in return; but when hla sun over for the mare the morra?" says a»»ullauta by dint of their number» and Rods. "Aha.” says the priest, “I see it’s persistence drove him back from cover to cover Corney eventually fell back always "too sure, too loose.’ with you, upon hla grand and unassailable poal- Rody. It Isn’t 12 o'clock the morra tlou and mude au effective stand upon yet.” "God look to yer wit, yer reverence!" bl» »tary of "The Parvarted Bache says Body. “Ye’re the dbrowndln' man lor In them day«, or thereabouts, when catcbln* at a very thin stbraw.” “Rody McGinn," says Father Pat, me grau’fatber’s great-gran'father was "there was a glntleman kilt another a youngster, there was a chap lived In the neighborhood of Dublin named man In anger some days ago—kilt him Body, that the neighbor» called Body dead. Au’ that glntleman is now un- the Bachelor liekase, like megelf, he dlier sentence lv death—to be hung out side Dublin Jail the morra moruln' at had »mall gradli for the women, an* bre'kwust time.” people thought he'd no more marry “Well?” says Rody. than he would give hl» head for a foot "Well,” says the priest, “this 1» a ball. greut gintlemun entirely, an’ he has ad Body was warm au’ well to do, with vart-ist all over the counthry tbat lie’ll a snug farm an* a thrig bouse, milk give £50)) to any man that ’ll act a» cows an’ dliry cattle galore. He was substitute for him an’ get hung in bls as happy as a hedge sparra to all seem place.” in’ an’ lived in alse an’ contentment "Well?" says Rody. with himself an' the whole wurrl*. “Very well." say» Father Pat. "We're Then, when at a wake or a weddin’ er now goin’ to put Una to the final test some other sort Iv a spree, the neigh whether or not she like» ye better nor bors got at Body about why he didn’t ye like yerself. Ye’re to propose to marry an' take a wife till Jtimself, get hung In this gintieman's place »o Body always laid down hl» docthrlne a» to get the £500 for Una—an’ then to them. ’’I'm as happy,” he used to we’ll see what we'll see." say. “as the Ixird (thanks be to him!) "Ha, ha. bn!” laughed Rody. “Ye cun make me. I have paice, grace an’ poor, foolish Father Pat, ye! No, nor content, an’ what more does a man If It was fifty times £500 she would get need? Them that take» a woman takes be It. Una wouldn't listen fur wan tlirouble, an’ them that marries makes minute tu such a purposul.” worry for themselves. Ye often enough “Never mind, never mind,” »ays Fa say yerselves, ‘No cow, no care.’ an’ I ther Pat, says he. smilin' such a con say, ’No woman, no woe.’ If 1 got the fident smile as angered Rody out an* best woman in the wurrl’, she couldn't out. "Never mind,” says be. "Ye do like me better nor 1 like meself. So, are ye’re bld—an’ we’ll see what we’ll all things consldhered. It seems to me see.” that It’s 1 am the wisest man lv the “I'll make the purposul,” says Rody, lot Iv ye to keep meself happy when 1 “an’ yer reverence'll be re«i>oii»ible If feel meself so.” An’ thnt was time an’ Una faints or tiles Iv heart dlsalse.” again the burden Iv Body the Bache "1'11 be responsible,” says Father Pat, lor’s soug. says lie. laughin', "If Unu faints or But, sirs, wondhers ’ll uever cease. dies It lieart dlsalse, an’ I'll put over There was a slip Iv a black eyed gls- her a monument higher nor the church such (girl), wau Iv the neighbors' daugh steeple, an' I'll inscribe It. 'Here lies ters. come to milk the cows luoruin' the strangest woman ever lived—a wo an’ evenin’ for Body wan time bls man who loved her man better nor be bund tuk bud with the whittle an’ be loved himself.’” couldn’t milk himself. An’ Una—she That night as Rody an' Una sat was named Una she used to »Ing “Au across the tire afther their supper, calllu dheus crulte na m-bo” (’’The I’ur- Rody smokin' an’ Una sewin’ u patch ty <Jirl Milkin’ the Cow’’) to keep the on un oitl' coat iv bls. Rody »ays; cow quate while she milked her, an’ "Una. there's a glntleman te be hung Body would be standin' be the cow's the morra mornin’ for killin' another.” head scratchln’ Brawny’s neck to keep “Poor dlvll!” says Una. “May the her quate likewise. But be the time Ixird have marcy on ’Im!” Rody’s hand was better Iv the whittle "An’ he’s advart-lst that he’ll give be persuaded Una to coutluue coinin' £500 to any man that offers hltnself to to milk beknse that the cows milked get hung In his stead.” says Rody. - better, be found, to a woman, an’ Una, without much persuasion, consented. An’ the neighbors they all sayed, "Aye, aye!” when they beerd this. So for the length Iv a long summer Una she milked away an' sung away, while Body the Bachelor was gettln’ more silent an' thoughtful an’ less light hearted day be day till at length It wns plain to be seeu as the bill Iv Bin ban that an callln dheus crulte ng m-bo was siugln* away the heart out lv him. So it didn't by no means come Jike a thunderclap when the news went roun’ that Body had discovered his cows wouldn't give the milk till any wan but Una. since she had made on them go, an' that he decided he'd have to murry her so he'd have her to milk always. An’ married they wor. too. an’ had a martial great weddin’ entirely, at which poor Body bad to. stand bls owu share In sconcin’ about bls suddlnt change, him that was so sore again' al) womeuklud. An* In right good part Rudy tuk It all. He sayed there never was no rule since the worrl’ begun that hadn't an exception, an’ bls Una was a'most the only wan exception to the doethrlnes be used to lay down. Father Pat was wan Iv them that “Ziodp. I’ll not tee ye batt.’’ used to have the greatest passages with Body about not marryln', an' bls heart if he lias a particle Iv »enae be was now helpin’, as bard as be at all, at all. that he’ll get no sueb could, the nelgbltors to salt him for bis ■ fool In all Irelan' as'll offer to do the likes Iv tbat If he was given all the suddlnt change. "An’ Is It yer belief.” says Father wurrl' for a farm steadin' an' Cora Pat. “that Una ’ll go as far as ye used veigli for a kitchen garden.” “Unu." said Rody. "1 have been to tblnk a woman should afore she’d be worth takln'; that she likes an' thinkin’ that £500 would make a mighty nice windfall for ye," an’ Rody will like ye better nor ye do yerself?” "My Una.” say a Rody. "sartlnly goes was ready for the spring If he saw any signs iv Una goin’ to dlirop. that far That’s why I tuk her.” "A inlgnty nice windfall. Indeed." "Whew-ew -ew!” says Father Pat says Una. with a smile. “But bow that wuy. "Father Pat.” says Rody. "ye may could tile likes Iv me come by It?" whistle or do as ye plalse. but It’s SO.” "If." say» Rody. breaklti' it gently Father Pat looked bard at Rody for ■till. "I give mesjdf to be hung in bls a minute to see was be rallly so far place." Una dbropped the needle from her gone entirely as to believe that “An’, Rody,” says be, "do ye rallly believe fingers an' »at up with a start. "What!” ■ays »tic. itr* - It was goin* to be the dlvll's own "May I nlver alt the bread In corn if I am n't »«rtln iv what I say.” says sore tlirlal upon |>oor Una's moves but Rody had to go through with It. Rody. "Una.” says be. "£500 'ml mnne so “Ye’re a dale foollstier man than I thought ye,” says Father I’at "Would much to ye that I’W bwn tlnnkm' ye mind puttin’ a little bait (bet) on It What a mortial nice present it 'ud be that ye’ll be in the same opinion this to make to ye. an’ consequently I'm day twcl’monthr* goin' to offer meself to lie hung In the "PH lailt ye.” says Rody, "me apot gintleitian's place.” ted springer again’ yer oitl* gray mare "Arrah," says Una, gettln’ up an’ —an* that's long odds—that me opinion tbrowln' her arms aroun’ bls neck. Isn’t altbered this day twel’montb.” "Arrah. Rody, Rody, me own darlin* "Done." says Father Pat "An’ you», Rixl.v, It's the Jewel Iv a man ye are! boys, are all witnesses Iv this.” I loved ye with all the veins In me Rody promised Father Pat faithfully heart afore, but now I love ye ten to keep the thranaactlou a deep sal times more. Roily,” says she, "have cret from Una. All' so he did. Rody ye sent In yer offer yet?” was In the height Iv good humor over Rody said. “No.” it for that he felt so sartln Iv I'na'a "Then. Rody. pulse lv me heart,” love for him. an' so sartln. too. that it •ays she. "get Into yer coat an’ don't would last ■« It was not for wan let the grass grow undher yer heel» twel’montb or fifteen, but for flfty-flvt till ye're at the Jail. Here ye are.” twel'moutha If God ’nd only spars says she. lifting his coat from thi peg an' shovin' It on him. them that long. "Una. Una." says Rody, an’ the poor. An’, sure enough, the second month they wor married Una sartlnly seemed I«ior feller near crylti’—“Una,” says he. to t>e fonder Iv Rody than she was th« "It's dark an' It's damp an’ It’ll be first, an’ the month after she was time enough to give In me offer be the fonder Iv hint than the other two put mornin’.” "Time enough.” nays »be. shovin’ hint together. Au' so It went on month after month, Una seemingly gettln' out Iv the dear; "time enough lost tbe If ye wait till mornin', aonie fonder Iv Rody an’ Rody prouder lv scone Una every new day tbat come. An' >ther mnn’l! have tbe foreway In ye. •very time Body *ud meet Father Pat tlod bless ye now,” nays she, "an* run be d have a hearty laugh at the priest. as If there was ten dlvll» afther ye.” “THt PARVARTED i BACHELOR” C When lludy got t>ack. she bad a fin* w..i*d »upper for him. "An’ ye uiu»t go to yer bed as soon as ye ait it. Body.” say» »be. "ao tbat ye’ll be fit to rise In good time. It 'ud be a downy poor thing entirely if I was to lose £500 by yer sJeeptn’ a few minutes longer uor ye should In tbe moruln’.*’ “I have beeu tbinkin',” say» Rody. "as 1 come back, tblukin’ tbat, afther ull. I'm afeerd I can't get bung the morra.” “For why, Rody McGiun?” says Una. amazed. “Just,” says Rody, "bekase I haven’t such a thing as a linen sblrt, an' I wouldn't take all tbe land ye could see from tbe top Iv Carnaween an’ go afore tbe audleuce’ll be gather d there from far an' near au' get bung iu an’ oul' wooleu shirt like this. None iv me family ever got hung in a woolen »blrt. un’ It’ll not be upcast to me tbat I was the first to disgrace me family.” Unu waited to »ay nlver a word, only threw tbe shawl about her bead an’ run out. She was back In short time an’ threw a tine white linen shirt upon the table. "Body,” says she, “nlver fear me. I'll not see ye bait.” “For the love iv heaven,” says he. “Una. where did ye git that?” “On tlie priest’s hedge.” says she. “It's a case of ueedcee»ity, an’ tbe divll a »In it Is, even if he is tbe priest. Body.” »ays she. "Trust me to see ye through till» business with credit.” Poor Roily »book bls head sadly, but another bright thought struck him. ••I'm reuiluilwrin’ now,” »avs be. "1 owe twelve an’ sixpence to Tom Ho gan, an' I couldn't go out Iv the wurrl’ with that on me sowl.” “Borrow It off wau Iv tbe neighbors an’ pay him.” »ays Una. "Peuts. woman.” says Rody, "ye might as well climb an npple tree to gntlier wallflowers. Th** neighbors hasn't a penny." “Walt a bit.” says Uua, au’ out she dashed again with tbe shawl ou her shoulders an* was back iu small time, an’ from undher her shawl when she came back she produced a box an’ tumbled its contents, which were cop pers. out on the table an’ counted it. “The Lord's good till us. Rody,” says she then. "There's 13 »billin'» ay’ 3 ha’pence In It.” Poor Rody picked up the empty box, which she bad cast lutll the fire, an’ looked at it. It wa» tbe poor box from the althar steps. Poor Rody shook bis head again an' went off to bed. But be sayed till himself, “Uua ’ll re pent yet when she thinks iv herself.” An’ if he went to bed atself it’s little tie slep’ tbat uigbt. au' it's still less he'd get lulve to sleep Iu tbe moruln', for afore the »creek lv day uie brave Una was dluniu’ Intll 111» ear that It was time to get up or he'd be late an’ throw her out Iv her £500. “Una." «ays be when be got up an’ dhressed himself au’ sat down, “Una. I’ve been tliluklu’.” "What have ye been tblnkin’ now?" says she. “I have been thinkin’,” says be. “that If I'd ouly not lie In too big haste au’ not mind gettln’ bung this time maybe tliere'd be another glntleman gettln’ hung afore long who'd offer £1. 000 for ».substitute.” "Them that breakwusts on hopes ’ll often go to bed hungry,” says Una. "an’ a bird in the han’ is worth thir teen In the hedge,” says she. "Hurry yerself up.” “An', moreover," says Rody. »ays he. “here’s another great debar. If I go, there '11 be divll a sowl to do a han’s turn a twilit the house or the farm, an' all ’111 go to the dogs.” “Body, darlin’.” says she, “If that’s all nils ye, make yer min’ alsy. A win some young widda—though It Is meself says it—with £500 iu dliry money, not to mention ut all, nt all, the farm and farm stock, won’t go long till she get» a bran’ new man.” “Oeh, ocb, ocb. ocb. ocb!" says poor Rody, any» he, broken hearted entire ly- An’ at this very point who should lift the latch an’ walk In but Father Pat himself. “Eh. eb?" »ays be. "What are ye och, ochln’ about. Body?” "Yer reverence," says Rody. »ays he, "plalse step out here with me till I luwse (loose) ye out tbe spotted spring er." "An’ so." Gorney Higarty would say. ’an’ so, boys, for a warnin’ 1 always keep afore me eyes the story Iv Rody McGlinn. the parvarted bnchelor.” Frederick tae wrest. In the course of some military evolu tions Frederick the Great of Prussia, Irritated by some mistake of a captain, ran after him with bis stick In order to ■trike him. Tbe captain ran away. The next morning the commanding of ficer refiorted to tbe king that the offi cer In question, one of the most effi cient iu the regimeut, bad sent in Ills paper». "Tell him to come to me,” said the king. The officer, In great perturbation, came. “Good morning, major,” he apostrophized the officer, wlio was speechless with surprise. "I wanted to tell you of your promotion, but you ran so fast I could not catch you up. Good morning.” Ai.othct ilme an officer atU-mpted to get a comrade Into had odor with the king by telling Ids majesty that be I was a drunkard. In a subsequent bat tle the latter’s fitness was conspicuous, whereas Ids slanderer played a very |H»ir part. When afterward he defiled past the king at the head of his reg iment, bls majesty called out to him in a voice of thunder, “The sooner you take to drink the better.” NEW SHORT STORIES “KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT" THE ( All SICK HORSE BLAIE, A Maa at St»-«« Laai letluaa. Captain Wheeler of the British army relutes ■ story of that class of soldier commuuly iwiicd tbe "company law yer," tbe man who is never quite sure whether he 1» being punished accord ing tu regulations. One of these men. be says, weut into musketry camp and on Haturday evening iuformed the color sergeunt tbat be could not be made to attend tbe church service—which in musketry camp Is conducted by the senior officer present—because he wai a Wesleyan. He fully counted on siwnding the morning in slumber, but he had met his match in the captain The camp was about thirteen mile» from cantonments, so tbe “company lawyer” was marched in under a stul wurt corporal to tbe Wesleyan place of worship and marched out again the same evening, the rest of tbe company receiving him with Ironical cheers. The next Bunday he wanted to attend church service. "Oh, no,” sahl. tbe cap tain; “your conviction» were so strong last week that they must be respect ed.” And again the “company lawyer” bud to trudge to and from tbe chapel The Wood Chopper. Tbe late Speaker Thomas B. Reed Hometime» told a story about a furmei who lived in Falmouth, Me. Next the highway In one of his cultivated fields grew un enormous rock maple tree. One winter day he decided to cut dow n that tree. As he was very deaf and also desired to hide his misfortune, he fell to considering what passersby would say to him, finally making up a set of questions and answers for the emergency. The traveler was to begin tlie conversation, which was to run like this: “So you're cutting the old tree down ut last?” "Yes.” “What are you going to do with it?” "Sell It for cord wood.” “How much do you expect to get fo: It?” "Six dollars.” "Isn’t that a pretty good price? It’« more thun I would give for it.” “Well, maybe you won’t, but some- body elxe will.” He had got well at the Job when along came a strunger with a stylish People Who Say Lillie and Delate Lea» --Get There" Utleaeai. "Help me to catch him, mister,” said the »mall boy as be dashed by in pant ing pursuit of bls Juveuile enemy. "Keep your mouth shut, aud you’ll catch him," advised tbe man, and tbe boy understood In au instant and, un derstanding. closed hla mouth aud ran on, easily running dowu the object of hl» pursuit, who bad beeu running open mouthed and was soon doubled up with a stitch in bls side. There Is a good deal In keeping your mouth »hut. There are more people In the world who uever opeu a mouth without putting a foot Iu it than you have any idea of. You may be a fool, but If you keep your mouth shut who's to know it? Generally you can size up the fellows who’ll get there, are getting there or have got there by tlie way their lower Jaw bangs. You may occasionally meet a wise man wandering around with hla mouth open, but not as a usual thing. It's wlmt people say and drink chief ly that cause them to appear before the police magistrate. If they had kept their mouths shut, they would not have said it or drunk it. More fool ish fish are caught with books in the mouth than through tbe tall. Tbe fel low who goes around with his mouth oiH'ii may catch a few flies In the ai>erture, but be Isn’t likely to catch anything very valuable that way. It’s the fellow who seta bls teeth and con sequently »huts hla mouth who gets there.—Toronto Star. The Cipher. It has not been definitely established that zero was in use any earlier than 400 A. I). About this time It was used in India, and several centuries later the Arabs began to employ It. Through the Arabs Its use became known to Europeans during the twelfth century. It was not generally adopted in Europe until several centuries later, notwith standing it» great advantages. For a considerable time there were two par ties among tlie European educators. One party, known as the algorists, fa vored the adoption of the Hindoo sys tem of notation (falsely cnllod Arabic), with its position values, while the oth er, known as the abaclsts, favored the Roman notation* without zero or posi tion Value. The general adoption of the Hindoo system was greatly facilitated by the facts that It was explained In most of the calendars for more than a century, beginning with 1300, and tbat the media-val universities frequently Of fens! courses devoted to the use of this notation.—G. A. Miller in Science. The Artist anti the Woman. Every actress Is sensitively alive to the pleasure of a warm reception—that being the technical term for the ap plause with which the audience greets tbe first appearance of an artist before any word has been spoken. Generally speaking, it signifies a courteous greet ing corresponding to a lifted hat and pleasant salutation. But on occasions when the actress is a special favorite the reception, enthusiastic and long continued, becomes a demonstration which 1» Inartistic and destructive of the illusion of the play, since it drags the actress out of her part and in her bowing, curtseying and smiling she becomes Miss Jone» or Miss Morris re turning thanks to the public. A wom an would not be human who did not enjoy to the last drop of her blood Just such a greeting, even though her ar tistic sense condemned it.—McClure's. “GOOD MOKN1NO, MY FlilKND.” sleigh and n spirited horse. Pulling up opjHjRlte the chopper, he sent a ques tion aero»» the ditch and fence which resulted in the following Interchange of words: • “Good morning, my friend. Can you tell me the way to North Yarmouth?” "Yes.” Chop, chop! “Well, that's good. What is it. please?” "Sell it for cord wood.” Chop, chop! “I’m afraid he didn't catch my ques tion.” (Louder) "Will you tell me the way to North Yarmouth?” “Six dollars.” Chop, chop! • "Say, you Impudent cur, if I had a chance to hitch my horse 1 would get out of this sleigh and thrash you with in an inch of your life!” “Weil, maybe you won't, but some body else will.” Chop, chop! — New York Times. • Widely Head. A few months ago a New York man visited the Palace Vendraniln Calergi in Venice. Tbe library, with thou sands of volumes, extends tbe full width of the pulace and represents an imposing artistic literary spectacle. The tiers of Italian and Latin vol urnes particularly impressed the vis itor. As be scanned the shelves Ids eyes rested on a volume beautifully bound In red. The title was “Life on the Mississippi,” by Mark Twain. As the book appeared to be tbe only one in the entire library printed in Eng lish tbe visitor upon hi» return took occasion to write to tbe numnrlst call ing his attention to this fact. Murk Twuiu's characteristic reply reads as follows: "1 thank you very much. That book 1» even inure flatteringly Inola ted than w*«-9ce a -«T-oic xjc uliout year» ago from tbe far west. He said. Tn ■ JOO mile horseback ride through the cattle domain I found but ■ solitary two lH>oks among tbe cow boys -“Innocents Abroad" ami th»- Bl ble.’ And be added, ’The Bible wus In good condition.*" The Early Circa». Leaving out of count the great cir- The L»l(i>«e nf »be Tart. Clises of Rome and Antioch and coming “Couldn’t you get your money down down to something of modern times, tbe first circus In England was on u an that race?” “No.” footpath known as Halfpenny Hatch, “What was the trouble.” In the Waterloo road, London. There, “I pronounced the name of the horse In 1770, Astley's first performance was given, with the aid of a drum, two fifes' torrectly and the bookmaker couldn't ami one clown. A charge of sixpence anders fund me.'*—Washington Star. wns made for tbe front standing places. Tretty Deceat HaabaaS. There was no building anil not even a “But you say her marriage to young tent, but merely a ring of ropes ami «takes. Primitive as were the arrange- i Hlghroller turned out better than was menta Aatley soon attracted good au-1 expected ?" dlences and was able to add to hisI “Much better. He hadn't spent more programme conjuring, transparencies, , than half her money when they sep vaulting and tumbling, with displays arated "-Brooklyn IJfe. of fireworks. In coarse of time be was The Aettat’» Alaa. ■ ble to hire an Inclosed ground and Friend—But- er- wbat'a the Idea of erected seats under a substantial roof. He ca.led tbe place Astley's Ampbl the work? I don’t quite grasp it. Artist -Tbe Ida« Jr *> 1 tfrlf theater Biding bouse. go New«. Animal» Are Sensitive. HOW A RAILROAD JOURNEY AFFECT ED A HIGH BRED HACKNEY. Benflre’» Trip Io lb» Her»» Show *»• Why II EaArd So UUoalroaaly—Tor- rlfylaa Hike la ■ WhooloA Bos After a Hotteoaoo Tralala*. Tbe story of wbat happened to a high bred hackney when he was sent ,by rail tu tbe Madlaou Square Garden horse show is told by Sewell Ford in "Horses Nine.” Bonfire was the hack ney’s name, but be did not look at all fiery at tbe momeut The author says of him: In bls stomach was a queer feeling which be did not at all understand. In ill* head whs a dizziness which made him wish that the stall would not move about ao. Streaks of pain shot along bls backbone and slid down hie legs. Hot and cold flashes swept over his body, for Bonfire had a bad case of car sickness—a malady differing from seasickness largely in name only —also a well developed cold cornpli cated by nervous indigestion. Tuned to tbe key, be had left the home stables. Then they had led him into that box on wheels, and tbe trou ble had begun. Men shouted; bells clanged; whistles shrieked. Bonfire felt the box »tart with a Jerk and, thumping, rumbling, Jolting, swaying, move somewhere off Into the night. In an agony of apprehension—neck stretched, eyes staring, ears pointed, nostrils quivering, legs stiffened—Bon fire waited for the end. But of end there seemed to be none. Shock after ■hock Bonfire withstood and still found himself waiting. What It all meant he <*ould not gues». There were tbe other horses that had been taken with him into the box, some placidly munching hay, others looking curiously about. There were the familiar grooms who talked soothingly in hi» ear and patted his neck in vain. The terror of the thing, this being whirled noisily away in a box, had struck deep into Bonfire's brain, and be could not get it out. So he stood for many hours, neither eat ing nor sleeping, listening to the noises, feeling the motion and trem bling as one with ague. Of course it was absurd for Bonfire to go to pieces in that fashion. You can ship a Missouri Modoc around the world, and he will finish almost ns sound as he started. But Boufire bud blood and breeding and a pedigree which went back to Lady Alice of Burn Brae, Yorkshire. His coltdom had been a sort of hot house existence, for Lochlyune, you know, is the toy of a Pennsylvania coal baron who breeds hackneys not for profit, but for the Joy there is in it. Just as other men grow orchids and build cup defenders. At tbe Lochlynne stables they turn on the steam beat in November. On rainy days you are ex ercised in a glass roofed tan bark ring, and hour after hour you are handled over deep straw to Improve your ac tion. You breathe outdoor air only in high fenced grass paddocks, around which you are driven in surcingle rig by a cockney groom imported with tlie pigskin saddles and British condition powders. From the day your name is written in the studbook until you leave you have balanced feed, all wool blankets, fly nettings and coddling that never ceases. Yet this is the method that rounds you into perfect hackney form. All this had been done for Bonfire and with apparent success, but a few hours of railroad travel had left him with a set of nerves as tensely strung as those of a high school girl on grad uation day. That is why a draft of cold air had chilled him to the bone; tbat Is why, after reaching the Gar den. he had gone as limp as a cut rose at a ball. “The fact that a horse is sensitive to ridicule,” said a student of tbe biolog ical department of the University of Pennsylvania, “may easily be demon strated. Take, for instance, the case of a horse that is eating out of a nosebag. If you »tanil in front of such a horse, The Haste of Thaader. attract his attention, and then, with The bass of thunder is considerably loud laughter, mock bls way of feed lower than the lowest sound produced ing, be will stop, with a look of em in an orchestra — below the zero of barrassment and shame, and he will music, we call it, at which all positive not resume bis meal until you are gone apprehension of musical sound ceases away. and our senses are merely conscious of "Dogs also object to being laughed a roar. In observing the music of at. Make fun of them and they wifi thunder our attention, however, may cease whatever they are doing. It is be most profitably directed to the ex only when they are in a fight that they pression rather than to the note». Tbe will remain impervious to the shafts musical diminuendo is more perfectly of mockery.”—Philadelphia Post. represented by thunder than by any other form of sound in nature. After The Hamm* Body. the first clap is over the ear will pursue A pupil in a village school who had with pleasure tbe rolling away and been requested to write an essay on gradual fainting of tbe peal, until at the human body handed in the follow immeasurable distance it sinks into si ing: “The human body consists of the lence. head, thorax, abdomen and legs. Tbe head contains the brains, in case there Loudon'» Croaslaa». are any. The thorax contains tbe You can cross the three most dan heart and lungs; also tbe liver and gerous streets In Manchester on an lights. The abdomen contains tbe average 3,1)00 times In safety, but the bowels, of which there are five—a, e. 1, three thousand and first time you will o, u and sometimes w and y. The ( be run over. If you are not. somebody legs extend from the abdomen to the else will be In your place, for the av floor and have binges at the top and erage a year never falls by more than middle to enable a fellow to sit when a point or two either there or In I-on Ctandlng or to stand when sitting.” don. But in London you can only pass the crossing at Blackfriars bridge, Will Power and the Tkotnb. which is the most dangerous spot in Would be hypnotize)*» should avoid 1 the city, 550 times. You may be the trying conclusions with persons pos- I lucky person who escapes by chance, •eaela«' Uiiger Jalsted thumbs than but »uiueuody is certain to sufiei to their own, for If there Is any truth In ’ keep five average up..counting the ac palmistry the strength of one’s will cidents over a space of five years up depends upon the formation of tbe to date. Next comes the Mansion thumb- the will power of Its owner be House crossing, with a 700 to one ing greit or little according to taM chance.—I-ondon Answers. length or want of length of Its upper 1 Joint A Hero’s Tribute. How the thumbs of tbe Roman boll- 1 Lincoln said of Washington: day makers were formed mattered Washington is tbe mightiest name on nothing to tbe defeated gladiator, ' rarth, long since mightiest in tbe cause whose fate hung upon their being bent of civil lllierty, still mightiest In moral forward or backward- a method of de- I reformation. On that name ■ eulogy is freeing life or death to which perhaps 1 expected. It cannot be. To add bright we owe a man at another's mercy tie- I ness to the sun or glory to the name of Ing said to lie under his thumb.—Cham- Washington is alike Impossible; let ber»' Journal. none nttempt It. In solemn awe pro nounce the name and in naked, death- Tbe Paaeake Bell. b*»s splendor leave It shining on. In the tower of Bt. Mary's church. Morley, Yorkshire, England, bangs an Hi» New Harsa. “Seen Ezry's new horse?" asked Obe ancient bell bearing tbe date 110U. Every Shrove Tuesday morning it is citizen of another. “I have,” was the rung for one hour, and tbe custom has reply. "Well, what does It look like?" been followed for centuries, although ' asked the questioner Impatiently. Its origin Is quite uuknown. The pen ( "Well, be looks,” said tlie other man pie of the locality believe that it has slowly, “as If Ezry bad taken him for some connection with the baking of an old debt”- Boston Christian Regis pancakes on tbe day before I^nt. ter. Hence Its name, the "pancake bell." AAaoi Eve. On tbe last occasion of tbe ringing »•ores of |>eople went into tbe belfry to i Adam and Eve got along very well take a pull at the rope in order tbat . until the lady took advice outside of they might claim some share In tbe | her own yard. Adam, of course, was henpecked or be would have slain the traditional usage. snake very promptly.—Schoolmaster. iMFQHTS«« ANS •CAEtM •« ■emn tTIWNE papers WRAPPING ... “ CARO 8TOOK ...Straw and Binder«* Board... SS-ST-AG-ei Flrwt Street Tsl Hals IW. St 8AN FRANCISCO. WHO KNOWS When Nle Kidney Trouble Hae Fastened and Reached the Chronic Stage? If It Has It la Incurable by Anything Known Except the Fulton Compounds« We Are The Sole Agents« As an eridance of the unusual character of the Fulton Compounds that company doe« not pub lish or invite testimonial* aaoept those report« iu« recoveries in kidney diseaaeo that have reached the chronic stage, alleged to be incur»« ble. Here U another recovery in a case incura ble till the advent of tbe Fulton Crmpuuude, reported by Johns & Johnson, the agents of ths Fulton Compounds in Loe Oatos: W. H. »idley, a reeldeut of Loe Oatos, having chronic kidney disease (Bright's Dis ease) had, like everybody else, found all treat ment futile. He commenced on Fulton's Renal Compound in February, 1902, and on December 10 or the name year reported the total disap pearance of the disease. He writes thst be has gained fifteen pounds in weight and is again able to do a good hard day's work. Johns A Johnson, the Los Oatos d rug g tat a, confirm this recovery aud know of several other recoveries tn similar cases of chronic kidney disease in Loo Oatos, all of which w^e incurable by auy thing else known to druggists. S. A. Palmer, tbe leading druggiatof Santa Crux, H. H. Maynard, the Pe’aiuma druggist, the Ferry Drug Com- dauy of No H Market street. San Francisco, W. R. Pond, the Berkeley druggist. Dr Markley, the Cloverdale druggist, Willis & Martin, the Saeramento druggists, and score»of other Cali fornia druggists all report specific recoveries iu chronic kidney diseases that were positively incurable by anything known except the Fulton Compound a. Dropsy, rheumatism from uric acid, gout and bladder trouble» are proofs that the kidneys are not performing their functions. The chronio stage of kidney trouble 1» Bright.! Disease. If you feel languid or miserable, if your kidney trouble hangs on »end for Pamphlet. Per centage of recoveries nearly 90 per cent among riurely chronic cases Fulton’s Renal Compouud or Bright's aid Kidney Diseases. St; for Dlabete», SI 50 John J Fulton Co., Waah- ington street. San FYancisco, sole compounder«. Free analyses for pslienU. We are the sole agents for tbe Fulton Compound» tn thu city. Save the Baby. The mortality among babies during the thiee teething years is aumething frightful. The census of 1900 shows that about one in every seven succumba. The cause is apparent. With baby’s bones hardening, the fontanel (opening in the skull) closing up and its teeth forming, all these coming at once create a demand for bone material that ni’iyly half the little systems are deficient In. The result la I eevishness, weakness, sweating, fever, diar rhoea, brain troubles, convulsions, etc., that prove terribly fatal. The deaths In 1900 under three years were 304.M8. to say nothing of the vast number outside the big cities that were nut reported, and thiB in the United States alone. When baby begins to sweat, worry or cry out in sleep don’t wait, and the need it neither medicine nor narcotics. What ths little system is crying out fur is more buns material. Sweetman’s Teething Food »up- pile« it. It lias saved the lives of thousands of babies. They begin to improve within forty-eight hours. Here in what physicians think of It. 2934 Washington Rt., San Francisco, June 2, 1902. Gentlemen—1 am prescribing your food in the multitude of baby troubles due to Im peded dentition. A large percentage of in fantile ills and fatalities are the result of slow teething. Your food supplies what the deficient system demands, and I have had surprising success with :t. In scores of cases this diet, given with their regular food, has not failed to check the infantile distresses. Several of the more serious casés would, 1 feel sure, have been fatal without it. It can not be too quickly brought to the attention of the mothers of the country. It is an ab solute necessity. L. C. MENDEL, M. D. Petaluma, Cal., Saptembor 1, 1NL Dear Sirs—1 have JuBt tried the teething food In two canes and in both It wan a suc cess. One was a very serious case, so criti cal that It was brought to me from another city for treatment. Fatal result» were feared. In three days the baby cea»ed worrying and commenced eating and Is now well. Its action in this case was remarkable. I would ad- vl»e you to put It in every drug store In this city. Yours, I. M. PROCTOR, M. D. Bweetman’s Teething Food will carry b«h> safely and comfortably through the mast dan gerous period of child life. It renders lanc ing of the gums unnecessary. It Is the safest plan and a blessing to the baby to not wait for symptoms but to commence giving it the fourth or fifth month. Then all the teeth will come healthfully, without pain, dis tr ese or lancing. It Is an auxiliary to their regular diet and v illy taken. Price 50 cents (enough for six weeks), sent postpaid on re ceipt of price. Pacific Coast Agents, Inland Drug Co., Mills Building, Ban Francisco. THE "TOUCH” 'AUTISTIC. A Delicate Job That the Thief CoalS Not Heaist Doln«. We have cut society too much on th« square. Perpendicular and horizontal lln«*» do not make the only Intelligent dlvlHlous. The relationship of Raphael with a pickpocket I talked to once la more Intimate essentially than it Is with some makers of "pictures” and molders of “statuary.” The thief had been arrested because, having obtained permission to live in New York pro vided be did not work there, he was caught stealing a watch. "Why did you do It?” I asked him. “Well, I’ll tell you," he said. "I sim ply couldn't help it. I’m no kleptoma niac. It isn't the stealing I like, but the fuu of doing a hard Job prettily. This is tbe second turn I’ve made. The first was like this: I saw a rich, fat man In a crowd, and I noticed that his watch was hung In a new way, bard to break. My fingers Itched, not for tbe watch, but to break It off. I moved np, lifted the watch, walked aWay with it and then went back and hung the thing on the chain again. This second time something like that. I saw a delicate •nb tr*ed ft, gnt »be wafeb and luet then the fellow happened to look for the time. He ’hollered.' and a detective near by pinched me. I don't think I’m what you’d call a natural thief, but I like to work with my fingers, and I like tbe excitement of stealing.”—McClure's. Knew All Aboat It. Teacher—What is tbe meaning of “parvenu?” Johnny—An upstart Teacher—Give a sentence in which the word Is used. Johnny—When a man sits down on a bent pin, be gives a violent parvenu.— Chicago Tribune. Preelaelr That. Braggsby—I tell you I’m overwork ing. I am turning ont an awful lot of work Just now. ■, Nocker -That’s Just exactly the word your employer uwd In describing your present work.-Baltimore American. J»al—ear. Nell—He Isn't very handsome, tent hla face lights up well. Bells Is be so lantern Jawed as all that?—Philadelphia Record.
