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About Bandon recorder. (Bandon, Or.) 188?-1910 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 5, 1903)
S*S.b * thrust BANDON RECORDER. -------------------------------- THE GERMAN CAPITAL Berlla O*e of the Cl*aa*ut and Be*« Kept Cttlee la Harar*. According to consular reports. Ber lin. although a busy manufseturing city, la one of the cleanest aud best kept in Europe. Tbe smokeless condi tion of tbe Berlin atmosphere is as cribed to three facts - tbe preponderant use of coke and briquettes, which are practically smokeless; the skillful scl- eu title construction of boiler furnaces and chimneys and. Anally, tbe high standard of skill that Is taught and enforced among flremen who stoke fur naces with coal for steam and manu facturing purpoaes. Before a man can aasume such a charge be must be taught the theory and practice of eco nomical. sclentitlc flring, by which tbe coal la distributed in such a manner and quantity over tbe grate surface as to secure tbe most perfect combustion of Its volatile elements. Tbe Silesian coal used In Berlin In most large steam plants and factories is rich In bitumen, but would rank below many of tbe bituminous coals of tbe United States, and yet tbe long, dense, trailing clouds of smoke from mill and factory chim neys wbicb are so familiar a sight to many American cities are rarely seen In that section of Germany, where the Indiscriminate shoveling of raw bitu minous coal Into tbe steam and other furnaces is considered an Ignorant and wasteful proceeding. Year Ha*n**<l** Cravat*. ■ To the woman who must bny her husband'* cravats I want to say a word by way of advice—don't do It. say- a writer In the Haberdasher. If you really must buy your husband’s cra vats, do not try to get a cravat so wann that It will feel like a mustard plaster ou bls chest. That might be good for his bronchial tubes, but It might en danger his chances of ultimate redemi>- tlon. It would perhaps stave off throat trouble, bnt It would be apt to produce family trouble, which la a good deni worse. Jet him pick out bls own cravats, and then he alone will be to blame for them. He may not know much about tbe harmony of colors, but be I* not likely, nevertheless, to pick out a cra vat that will hurt tbe eyes of the spec tators like a limelight at a champion ship glove contest. He may not know wliat he wants, but he knows what he dues not want, and ten to one. If you have seen something at tbe cravat count«* that you think I* perf«*ctly love ly, that Is it. Keep Aeeo**«*. Keeping accousta, simple in form. plain, clear and easily understood, showing amounts due to or from oth ers, entering correctly the dates on which motley is paid out or received, is tbe best plan to avoid disputes about mouey matters and relieves the memo ry pf many unnecessary burdens. A written record ol a money transaction has greater legal value In case of con troversy in court than any verba) state ment. The habit of keeping accounts In duces economy In expenditure and in- spires the habit of saving up. besides showing at all times a correct financial condition. Housekeepers, mechanics and all who handle money in the man agement of their personal affairs will find it most profltable to form the hab it of keeping accounts. How the Rash Canaan. In measles a rash appears on the fourth day of the fever. It is first seen on the forehead, face and neck, after ward over the whole body. It consists of raised red spots. In scarlet fever the rash appears on the second day of the fever, commencing on the upper part of the chest and neck, whence it apreads over tbe body. In smallpox an eruption is seen on the third or fourth day on the face, neck and wrists. In chicken pox the eruption is made of small bleba. In typhoid fever the rash rarely shows Itself before the seventh day of the fever. The spots are rose colored, and they disappear on pressure. Heaty’a Ye**c Critic. G. A. Henty. the writer for youth, frequently got letters from admirers all over tbe world asking for hie auto graph and offering criticisms of his books. In a story of the peninsular war be made two boys disguise them selves by staining their faces with Iodine. Shortly after the book was published be received a letter from a boy, who aald be was a chemist's as sistant. stating that while that special Incident was represented as taking place In 1808 Iodine was not discovered until 1811, three years after. Fiekle. Tommy—Lil Greenup, you toid me last week you liked me better'n you did any other boy. an’ now you’reriet- tin' Dick Trotter shine up to you. LW— I did like you best last week, but I’ve changed my mind. Dora your papa keep a candy «tore? Tommy—No. Lil—Well, Dick’s doe*.—Chicago Trib ue. CaearitT *f Base*. his uxxitb iuto his pocket for tbe lump of sugar he bod never 'failed to And. “BMDey,” be bad al There are some things that make such an impression and are so I'idelibly stamped on our minds during our jour ney through life that we can never for get them, Koiuetlines it leaves so sad a picture that It is akin to pain; others briug a thrill of pleasure aud tender recollections of the days of auld lang syne. Then again, we smile when we remember certain events that Isided no gotsl aud we could only see adversity and discouragement ahead of us aud persisted lu liemoaning trouble. We saw tbe gray sky ami uot the rainbow of promise arching tbe gloomy outlook with all its Is-autiful coloring. We wonder how we could have lost faith and hope and persisted in dwelling in the shadow. But some (teople will dwell in the vale of melancholy aud sing dolefully, "Ko many sorrows here below,” crowding themselves into the little narrow sphere of self and pulling a ghsmiy mantle over their better selves, Just as they pull down the curtains to shut out tbe sunshine and keep their carpets from lading, while they Invite mold aud dampness, prejudicial to the health and happiness of the rest of the household, to enter and take |HMsessioti. We meet some people, however, who refuse to look back on the past. They have blotted it completely out of their lives aud they live only for the preseut aud future; in fact, some go no farther than the present. To-day is their own, to-morrow they cannot count on, for no one knows what a day may briug forth. The happy-go-lucky who never knows trouble blithely sing, To-morrow, to-day aud yesterday, So runs the beautiful world away. They live the butterfly existence, get ting all the sweetness and all tbe Joy out of life, lie it short or long. They believe iu predestination. When their time comes they go, and nothing can stay flip hand of the dread destroyer. Why should they grieve and lose the enjoyment of their time on this earth if it is to lie short? If they must die early, it Is their destiny. »»»» Polly once heard a beautiful girl—wli«> fading like a flower from that dread disease, consumption say to her moth er, "1 have lived my life sixteen beau- tiful summers. 1 have b«**n so happy, so free from care ami pain. Y ou and papa have done every thing you rould to make my life bright. I have never known what it was to l>e sick liefore. Don’t try to patch me up now; don’t give me medicine, for it would only lie patching me up for a little while. It wouhi 1« hard on you and me. As long as I cannot get entirely well it is not worth the while to stay here and suffer. 1 know I must go, and the sooner the Udler for you and me. Don't erv, for it only gives me pain, but just remember how lovely and bright you have made all of the sixtren years. You have nothing to regret, mama, and neither have I, although 1 know I might have lieeu a little more thought ful of you sometimes. “Don’t patch me up. What Is the use?” Then the little sufferer fell asleep. She faded rapidly from that time, and she never took her medicine except under protest, begging them not to patch her up. A purer little soul never took its flight into the great unknown. »»»» Durlug tbe never to Ire forgotten drought that laid waste the country in the southern part of California a few years ago, when nun watched with auxious faces the black clouds that gathered, hoping and praying for the welcome rain only to see them scatter and give place to the clear blue sky and the burning rays of old Hol which burned up the last vestige of verdure and dried up tbe sluggish creeks while the cattle and horses died Ly the hun dreds of hunger ami thirst. The more fortunate ranchers drove the beet of their herds iuto a part of the State where the god of rain had been more merciful and they could find pasturage. During a visit to the famiue-stricken district Pollv saw whole herds being driven away, gaunt and hollow-eyed. The majority of them were so emaci ated that it looked as if it were an ex tremely doubtful question as to whether they would ever reach the land where the water* ran iu swift streams, clear and pure and where tbe grass grew luxuriantly. Many of them, w eakened by their long fast, fell by the wayside and were abandoned to die, while tbe others, urgtai by the drivers, staggered on, the ribs showing painfully In their emaciate«! Itodies. Ranchers and stock raiser* who could not afford to drive their stock to other pasture* sold their cattle at almost any figure to the butch- eia, and picking out the beat of their horses, killed the remainder and f«*i them to the hogs. YVhat had once ueeu fertile bills ami valley* were a* barren of venture as a marble slab; not a blade of gra«s, ami only a few trees, dusty and wither«*«! looking, were left to show the march of the «lemon— drought. • ••• A box 4 Inches square and 1 1-5 Inches deep will contain one quart; 8 iiK-bea long by 4 Inches wide and 4 Incbea deep, one-balf gallon; 8 Inches long by 8 2-5 inches wide and 4 Inch«** deep, ouv gailoii, a inch«** square and 8 2-5 inch«*! <l«*p, one peck; lfllnches long by 8 2-5 inehe* wide and 8 Inch«*« deep, one-half bushel; 16 Inches square and 8 2-5 inebe* deep, one bushel; 14 Inch«** wide, 23 1-0 inches long and 10 inch«** deep, one and a half bushels; 24 Inch«** long by 16 Inches wide snd 14 Inches deep, two snd a half bushels; 24 inches One of the prominent young stock- long by 16 Inches wide and 28 Incbea men of the section, who for the *e«*md deep, live bushel*. or third summer had seen hi* vision of abundant crop* and plenty of pasturage H Was B*O. Th* other day a young Ixmdon street fade Into this ap|«alling desolation un grab, having found a bad sixpence, til the stock of feed had dwindled down waa trying to make uae of It at different to ■» small an amount that he must do piacea. but to no pur|x>se. At last he away with tbe les* valuable horses to went Into a tobacconist's and asked for save the rest, finally, after day* of put ■ threepenny cigar. ting off theevil hour— for he loved every Having got the cigar and also tbe change, he was leaving the shop when borne on hi* range- picked out the homes that must be sacrificed. He th* man called out: came to “Barney,” tbe horse that had "Coma back here; It’s a bad one." "Never mind, sir," replied the young ln<eii given him In hi* noy hood day* star. "I’ll smoke tt if It makes me I1L” ami bad been his tried and faithful And be bolted out of tbe door.—Pear- friend for many yearn. He had taught ■aa’a Weakly. him an many tricks, ami even now he ways said, should die In clover. No other ha d should drive blm iff bis old age. A young Hpauiard who had Iwen on tbe ranch for yearn bad b«en se lected < mi account of his good luarks- uiausbip to shoot tbe animals, a*ked, "And wbat about ‘Barney.’ Does be have to go, too?” “Yes, dear old 'Bar ney,' it is either that or starve, aud I ceu’t see him surt'ei. But let him be the last, Charlie. I’ll strive aud keep out a little for biiu as long as possible.” "Baruey” wblnnied and rubbed his nose against bis shoulder as if be un- deratood that be was tbe subject of rouversation. »•»» The day tinally came when Charlie, the executioner, vame to tbe young man aud said, “I bave rounded up flfly b«>rses, and tbe bogs have had a great feast. When shall 1 take ‘Baruey’?'1 Hliil tbe sky remained unclouded aud not a drop of rain hail fall»n, aud he had no excuse left to keep “Baruey” any longer. "To-morrow morning then, Charlie, but 1 shall see that be has a gotxi supper aud breakfast if the rest have to have their rations cut short.” Next morning Charlie came up to tbe house leading “Barney, who moved along iu something like his old gait after his hearty breakfast. Putting his arms around tbe horse’s neck, his mas ter shed tears for tbe first time In many years. “Dear old Barney, my trueaud faithful frieud,” he said, patting and stroking his arcbed neck while the horsts looked down in wondej* at this strong young man in tears who was speakiug so tenderly, and tbe horse tried to iu I i bis head against him, then he turned and lifted his master’s hat off'his head with his teeth, whinnying a* much as to sav, “Won’t that make you smile?” “Up to your old tricks again, Barney,” said the young man, gaziug into tbe velvety brown ey«*s filled with intelligence. “This is one of the hardest things I have ever bad to do, Charlie, and it makes a baby out of me. I don't think I could feel very much worse if I was listing my l*st friend. Blindfold him and see that your aim is steady and true. Make quick work out of it and set* that the first shot kills. Now lake him. (lood- by, old friend, g<s>d-l>y,’* he said, put ting liis arms around his neck and crying softly to himself. Charlie, who was as much a lover of horses as his employer, anil who had always tieen particularly fond of Barney, looke<l the other way, and there was a suspicious moistureals>ut his eyes. “Khali we go?” he finally asked, feeling that something must be done to break up the affecting little scene. “Yes, take him and be g«MMi to him, Charlie, (hxxi-by, dear old Barney,” he said, turning away. But he bad not gone but a few feet when Barney’s velvety nose was thrust over his shoulder. The horse turned twice and followed his master before Chariiesucceed«*! in leading him away. Then he kept looking back and whin nying. When Charlie returue«! to tbe house he said, "It is all over. Only netsied one shot, and he never knew what hurt him.” “What did you do with him, (.'barlie?” "Buried him un der that big tree up there. I couldn’t ever give Barney to the hogs. I knew you c<Hildu’t stand that.” A few days after Charlie handed tbe young man a beautiful bridle aud whip made out of glossy horsehair. “1 thcught that you would like it to re mem tier Barney,” he said. “He always had such a beautiful mane and tail. I’m glad it's all over, for Barney will never suffer from huu- ger again.” “Ho am I, Charlie.” BRIEF REVIEW How Water Freezes. MIXED THE LETTERS. Seri*** Resalt at * Feel Tvyl»« lu Be Face! leas- A well known citizen of Clay Center had Isen Invited to an evening party. He wanted to go. but his wife declared that sbe had no gown suitable for the occasion and asked him to »end “re gret*" to tlirir hoctesa. The man went down to Ills office and penned this face tious note of declination: "We regrot that your kind invitation must l»e declined for all the convention al reason*, but the real reason ia that half the family bn* nothing to wear. My wife's latest drew is over three week* old, ami her hat 1» twelve hour, out of date. You will appreciate the hopelessness of tbe occasion and ex cuse us.” He thought this pretty good, un«l he del.*rmin«*l to write a note to his wife also explaining that he would not be at home for an curly dinner, as she bad asked him. He said In this note: "I have turned down your Invitation becuuse I am going out to another even ing party where the guests are not ex- petted to wear anything of Importance. Sorry I won't be there to kiss you good night.” And then tbe fool man carelessly sent bls wife’s note to the hostess and the hostess' note to bis wife.—Clay Center Times. “Merearlale Swords.” When was It usual to insert running mercury in the baclgi of swords? This was a comparatively common practice among the Italian, French and S;>auish swordmaken of the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries, but It waa more of a fancy than anything else, for it never came Into general use. It was uot, of course, used for rapiers or the lighter kind of swords, but for tbe heavier cutting swords. The method was to cast the blade rather broader at the back than usual, with a hollow running down it. This was half tilled with quicksilver and sealed up. The Idea was that when a blow was struck with such a sword the quicksilver would fly to the point and so increase tbe weight of the blow. This theoretical advantage, however, did not at all counterbalance the gen eral clumsiness of the weapon and its unhandiness in guarding, and so the tnercuriale swords, as they were called, from which their ingenious inventor hoped so much, were rather military curiosities than practical successes.— London Answers. Somethin* tu Be Thankful For. A Scotchman who lias a keen appre ciation of the strong characteristics of his countrymen delights In the story of a druggist known lx>th for bis thrift and bis philosophy. Once b«> was aroused from a deep sleep by the ringing of his night bell. He went down to his little shop and sold a dose of rather nauseous medicine to a distrozsiHl customer. "What profit do you make out o' that?" grumbled his wife. “A ha'penny,” was the cheerful an swer. “And for that bit o' money you'll lie awake maybe an hour,” she said Impa tiently. “Never grumble o'er that, woman.” was his placid answer. “The dose will keep liim awake nil night. We must thank heaven we ha’ the profit and none o' the pain o' this transaction.” A Primitive Clock. A naturalist, while visiting Great ftanglr, one of those islands of the In dian ocean known as the Celebes, or Spice islands, found a curious time re corder lodged at tbe house of a rajah. Two bottles were firmly lashed togeth er and fixed in a wooden frame. A quantity of black sand ran from one bottle into the other in just half an hour, and when the upper bottle was empty the frame was reversed. Twelve short sticks, marked with notches from one to twelve, were hung upon a string. A hook was placed between the stick bearing the number of notches corre sponding to the hour last struck and the one to be struck next. The sentry announced the time by striking the hours on a large gong. CHOICE MISCELLANY NEW SHORT STORIES FACTS IN FEW LINES Had )» Time te Pretest. A Fax***** Si*F*r'« Letters. “Step up lively!” he commanded to those outside, says Harry Beardsley tn Idwlle's Weekly. "Move forward there, please!" he shouted In a domineering tone to the herd within. The westerner braced bluo* If stubbornly to stand exactly wlwre he was when he ob served a most surprising thing. To his astonishment the people about him. witliout even a protest, were endeavor ing to pack themselves closer together with a general movement toward the front of tbe car. The stranger recalled *t once how iu hl* western home street car <*ouductors In gentle tones were obliged to <* mix aud plead with tbelr passcngi rs to induce them to make rooui for others. The western street car crowd was moved by persuasion, but these New Yorkers, it s«*emed. per mitted themselves to be driven. Aud in this conduct of tbe people* tbe stranger saw that they bad no time for stubliornness. no time to spend In resenting the domln«**ring air of the conductor, no moments to be lost In protest or ex|s>stulation. A great com mon and controlling spirit was appar ent. It was shown in this very willing ness to be driven. Not tbe least entertaining things in t singer's life are tbe letters »be baa tent her. lu aeelug and bearing an irtlst on tbe stage a degree of syinpa thy ia established that, I suppose, makes tbe auditor appreciate a evr- tain kind of acquaintance with tbe iing«>r. says Zeiie de Lussaii In lie lie's Weekly. This seems at least to tocount for mauy letters I get. But toiuritmee they do eeeui a little person- 41. One gentleman, I remember, wrote: ‘You remind me of a lovely purring .-at. You ctMue ou tbe stage and never ■ook at tbe gallery.” Another wrote that be ueltber smoked, chewed nor irank and that when I came his wsy ke would show , me about tbe town, line practical l«>tter I recall, aud tbe loniplimeut it contained was of tbe tind that Is always dear to the singer's heart. I had given tbe man a pleasure In life by my song*, and be wrote me a He said he knew letter of advice, lingers were a careless, frivolous, qiendthrift lot of people and that I aught to save my money. Following was a list of safe investments that be recommended, lies ring 3 per cent lnter- rat. “You have given me some happy hours that I shall never forget,” he «aid In conclusion. “Perhaps a* a man af exiierlence I have given you some idvlce that will be useful.” Home of a Priaee. Very ingenious is the home of tbe Prince of Agra, in India, which Is a floating palace of the most stupendous aud magnificent proportions. Although of only two stories, its height is im mense, tlm rooms iteing grand vaulted chambers, furnished In tbe most gor geous oriental manner. All tbe chairs have golden arms, and precious stones are set In the luteks. The wall decora tions are beautiful beyond description, wlnli' the ceilings are tinted to repre sent the sky, silver stars appearing here and there on the dark blue back ground. The palace is made of both wood and stone, but so constructed that ft floats with ease. When not in use, it Is moored to the banks of tbe river Jumna. Here the prince and Ills royal retinue betake themselves on sultry afternoons, and lazily the palace glides down tbe river to the soft, sweet music of harps. Up and down the tide it majestically floats like a huge white swan, while within the royal guests sip cooling beverages and idly dream away tbe sultry hours. Frali "Do you know,” said the man who lias Just returned from New York, “that one of the things that Impressed me the strongest tn tbe big town was the jiolJcemen? There may be corrup tion within, but the outside Is certainly fair to view. Every man of them is as slick and well combed and brush«*! as it be kept a valet. Ills buttons shine, and liis white gloves—they all wear 'em—are immaculate. If there is any thing in appetirances, these dandy cop- |M*rs shave every day and look after the radiance of their shot** with the zealous ardor of a Pullman porter with a sliver quarter in view. And It waa a pleasure to ask them questions. They svs 'U ks I to take an interest lu setting you on the right path. Not once did I receive a curt or surly reply.”— Kansas t’ity Star. Speed Is Costly. They tell great things about the speed of the ocean greyhounds, but omit to say that speed costs, as docs every other luxury. They expect to drive the Kaiser Wilhelm II. twenty- four knots an hour, but it will take an expenditure of 4n,000 horsepower to do It. whereas 14,000 horsepower will drive the Cedric, the largest ship in the world, seventeen knots. Every additional pound of steam means more coni, more "bands” and more exjiense in every direction until the increase of speed Is soon forbidden by the increased cost. An attempt to drive a ship or a man too fnst soon costs more than either is worth. Why not take ft easy? A Ship's Feathered Guests. The captain in charge of a lightship situated at the entrance of San Fran cisco harbor recently reported to the Co**airaey. “Squlbob, you are still reporting for United States lighthouse commissioner tlint a large number of land birds took tbe Daily Broad, aren't you?” refuge on board tbe vessel. A dense "Ye*.” “Say, lam going to spend the even smoke from northern forest Ares hung ing with tbe daughter of old Professor over the locality and completely ob Noett, and he do«*sn't like me a bit. I I scured sea and land. Evidently the birds had lost their way. and, exhaust want you to help me through.” ed by their long Hight, the Wanderers “Me? What can I do to help you?” "Call on him in his study about 8 alighted on tbe ship undeterred by the o’clock and ask him this question: ‘Pro presence of the crew. At one time sixty fessor. to what do you attribute the of the feathered guests were counted on various isirts of the ship. Owls, decay of Darwinism?'” cranes, humming birds and other non- "What good will that do?” "He'll spend the «•ole evening argu marine species were noticed during the ing to prove that Darwinism Isn’t de time. caying.”—Chicago Tribune. It used to puzzle all thinking people why ponds aud rivers do not freeze l»e- youd a certain depth. Th is depends on a most curious fact, namely, that water Is at its heaviest when it reaches 40 de grees Fahrenheit—that is, 8 degrees above freezing point. On a frosty night as each top layer of water falls to 40 de grees, it sinks to the bottom; therefore the whole pond has to drop to 40 de grees before any of It can freeze. At last it is all cooled to this point, and ice begins to form. But ice is a very bad conductor of heat, therefore it shuts off tbe freezing air from the big body of comparatively warm water underneath. The thicker it gets the more perfectly Jehiny’a Awfal Predleameat. does it act as a great coat, and that is Johnny—I wish my folks would why even the Arctic ocean never freez agree upon one thing and not keep me es beyond a few feet In thickness. all the time in a worry. Tommy—What have they been doing Millions of butterflies are eaten every now? year by the Australian aborigines. The Johnny—Mother won't let me stand insects congregate in vast quantities on an my head, and dad la all tbe time the rocks of the Bugong mountains, fussing because I wear my shoes out and the natives secure them by kindling so fast.—Boston Transcript Area of damp wood and thus suffocating Qraassaatleal. them. Then they are gathered In Isw- Mr. Kallow —Er—beg pardon. Miss kets, baked, sifted to remove the wings Snappe, but can I smoke? and Anally pressed into cakes. Miss 8napp*—I'm sure I don't know, but if you've never tried before please Bulle'a made of precious stones are don't l>egin here.—Philadelphia l’ress. rarities in warefare. But during the fighting on the Kasmir frontier, when Beth Side«. tbe British troops defeated the rebel Doctor’s Little Girl—Your papa owes lious Hunsas, the natives used bullets of my papa money. Lawyer’s Little Girl—That's nothing. garnet incased in lead. The British Papa said be was glad to get off with preserved mauy as curosities. bis life.—Baltimore American. The lazy man consoles himself with Some men start wrong and are late the shop worn adage about the race not at every station all through life.—Atch always lieing to the swift. ison Globe. I do not know of any way so sure of i .**» p «*< 1«. making others happy as of twiug so "My coffee is not quite sweet oneself. enough.” remarked tbe new boarder. "Well. If you don’t like it you can We have never bad as great troubles lump It,” retorted tbe cheerful Idiot, in the daytime aa we have imagined pushing the loaf sugar his way.—New York Tim.*. when lying awake at night. Qaeer Bookkeepla*. Mayor’s 8«**retary William P. Ryan was commenting the other day on the way In which many illiterate persons seem to get along in the world. "The late William J. Carroll used to tell a good story along this line,” said Mr. Ryan. "He had business connected with the collection of rents which used to take him to a certain place on the eastern shore at Intervals. On one oc casion be went Into a store there, the Cheap I* a B**eh. The following Is an extract from the advertisement prosp«*ctus of a large I’nrlsiau emporium of artificial flowers near tbe Opera: Betrothal bouquets from 20 20 Baptismal bouquet* from............. 30 Funeral wreaths from.................... 20 Mortuary cross (large site) from 20 The lot, a bargain, from................ 80 I Marriage bouquet* from.............. francs francs francs francs francs francs ”i didn ' t skk thk dot in thk middlb ” proprietor of which could neither read nor write. While he was there a man came in who was evidently a regular customer. “‘I owe you some money, don't I?" lie said to the storekeeper. “The latter went ,to the door and turned It around so that tbe hack was visible. “ 'That's so,' be repli«*l. ‘You owe me for a cheese.’ “'A cheese?’ replied the customer. •No; I don't’ "The storekeeper looked at the door again. "'That's so,' be said. ’It's a grind stone. I didn't see tbe dot in the mid dle.’ "—Baltimore Sun. The Police*!**'* Dilemma. A Loudon newspaper tells this anec dote: “I-ast evening a strolling police man was passing tbe barrow of a cos termonger who was weighing out plums to a customer. Tbe coster, as costers do, quickly chucked off tbe top plum as overweight. The policeman, as isdicemeu do, took a casual plum as his perquisite. But the biter was bit, for bis teeth ground hard upon the iron simulacrum of a plum. It was tbe very one tbe coster had thrown off the Imlance. Now, what could a policeman do? As a gentleman he could neither prosecute, for tbe situa tion was a delicate one, nor steal a business asset. He took tbe right course. He returned the Iron plum to the stall and took a real one.” Me* Gottis* Searee. The advantages of tbe modern For tia are counterbalanced by an equally large numlier of difficulties that con front tbe woman lawyer. Mayor Low's secretary, James B. Reynolds, is still telling bis friend* a little fling be bad recently at Miss Rosalie Loew, tbe at torney for tbe Ix'gal Aid society. Miss Ixx*w was conducting a bearing before tbe mayor aud called one morning to tell Mr. Reynolds she could not attend the afternoon session. "I've got to go over to Ludlow street and get a man out of jail,” sbe said by way of explanation. "Ob!” exclaimed Mr. Reynolds In grave surprise. "Are they really get ting a* scarce as that?”—New York Times. Well adv sed couple*, then, from the time of tbelr betrothal will do well to A Javealle Draaiatlat. take ndvai nee of this opportunity for Heruiau Herivale, who at ten years a marring«' to burial economy of a v«ry old wrote a play in which a cook poi sensible kind.—Ixmdon Expre««. soned a whole royal family at once, tells In bls fascinating autobiography, Mag «'■•kier’s Geaerosltr. Juat published. of a small niece of bls A lady on walking up to tbe cash who baa lately embarked on a alnillar ier's desk hi one of the big drapery es experiment. Here la a scene from the tabllslnuriits lu Paris the other day to first act aa Mr. Merivale gives It In bi* pay for her purchases was astounded book: I to hear that the proprietor of the es- "King Edward I. and courtier*, dis 1 tablishnient had decided to make her a covered. "A Courtier--My liege, a geittlemau present of *verything she ha<! bought and also a bundle of banknote*. . The await* below. "King Edward-Ob. tell him to be ' manager hurriedly Intervened, wher *- npon the cashier t>egan to smash every ----- . I want my lunch.” Mr. Merivale adds that bl* niece lx thing within hl* reach. It was found “very young and rather Furitanlc.” thnt he had suddenly b«**omi‘ insane. Twa Doable Rales. Hl* U**. British soldier* deposited £30.(MI) last year lu military savings banks. Five hundred and thirty two tons of cigarettes were exported last year from Egypt. Great quantities of cheap American cigarette* are bring amoked by natives In India. Lectures on advertising are being given twice a week in tbe Commercial tollege at Prague. Coke, a byproduct In the manufae ture of gas. has Increased 2uo per cent lu price lu five year*. Over 15.000 rabbit* have been trapp. d during the ]«ast year In tbe tuuulciiuil rabbit warren at Torquay. The only way to tell a birdseye maple tree is to cut It. There are no outward ■igus by which one can judge. There are 4.338 one room tenements at Flymouth occupied by famtile* con slating in some case* of eight persons. Overworked seamstresses In Berlin are to tienetlt by a legacy of $250.1**1 left by a German bookseller miuo-d Bahn. As tbe hay crop in Lapland has been a total failure, the peasants are slaugb tering tbelr cattle, entire carcasses l«e- Ing sold for as little as $15. A French statistician estlmntes tbe numlter of cows in the civilized world at 63.880,000 and the amount of butter they yield at 2,(140,000 tons a year. Six thousand »•artridges, several rl ties and a number of pompom and fif teen pounder shells have been dug up near Klerksdorp. western Transvaal. First clans briquette* are sold In Ber lin and Germany generally for $3.17 a .on, and this I* the highest price known since they lifeline an article of com merce. Five thousand dollars has been paid for tbe drinking glass used by the late empress of Austria while taking tbe waters at Luiigeu-Scbwalluirh, near Wiesbaden. Six employees of a Barrow (England) engineering firm have received prizes ranging from $5 to $50 for suggestiona tending to the more economical produe tion of work. Recent legislation iu some of the peach states compels tbe removal of the pink tarlatan netting which d<x*a so much to give an attractive color to tbe green aud unripe fruit and fool the buyer. The National museum at Belgrade has còllie into possession of a collection of 08.000 Roman copper coins recently unearthed near a Servian village. Tbe oldest of them were iu the time of Car acalla. Experiment* conducted in California and recently reported to tbe Botanical Society of America Indicate that In*** are active agents in the spread of i>eiir blight at tbe period when tbe trees are in bloom. Seventy sepulchral urns containing old coin ami other relics dating from tbe Augustan epoch have been discov ered at Aqullela, tbe ancient Roiuau tower near Trlest which was destroyed by Attila. Treasury figures show deposits iu the banks and trust concerns of tbe coun try aggregating $8,500,000,000, or about $108 per capita. Tbe totul of available cash iu tbe country is something more than $2,500.000,000, or less than $30 pet capita. Eugllsb firms are trying to secure a market for soap in India, but up to the present time that country has remained practically soapless. Indeed, through out Hindustan soap is regarded at rather a curiosity and rarely If evet kept In stock by tbe native storekeejier. Hannibal, Mo., has a Tower of Babel, Fourteen languages are spoken at the cement plant there, Among the work- men are Austrians, l’oles, Spaniards, Italians. Roumanians. Slavs, Greeks, Hungarians. Russians, Frenchmen, Germans, Irishmen, Chinamen and Americans. Germany is gradually dismantling her old time fortresses. Tbe old fortlfl cations of Mainz and of Cologne hav« been torn down, and now it is tbe turn of Ulm, in whose old tower tbe capitu lation of 1805 took place. Bart of th« walls of Metz have disappeared, uml at Thlonville they are tearing dowt Vanban’s famous ramparts. The latest development of »crew pro pellers Is due to Mr. C. A. Faraone, The blades are given reduced pitch to ward tbelr tips, small vanes being alsc provided on the propeller cone, and th« effect is to admit of high speed with out captivation and to give a greatei mean thrust than Is possible with blades of constant or increasing pitch. Dr. Calvello, an Italian, has discov ered that !• per cent of essence ol thyme and 18 per cent of essence ol geranium make au excellent disinfect ant when freely used for tbe bands ol medical operators. As these essence, enter largely Into the composition ol eau de cologne. It follows that thll scent la a gessi antiseptic for ordinar; purposei:. Outside Stornoway, In tbe Island ol Lewis, I* a farmer who brings bit horse and cart into the town of Storno way on market days. Whenever In reaches the Inn a quart of beer In pewter is placed before bi* steed, win drink* It leisurely without ever spillin, a single drop, and no amount of per suasion will ever induce Mr. Horse tt “have another." a tem|ierate exampl« which might well lie followed by hit masters. Tbe German As moan company, will the permission of the government, de signs to Import Chinese laborers t< work on the plantation* In Samoa, ol which cocoa la chiefly grown. Th« company has engaged a former con tractor of the New Guinea company t< proceed to southern Chinn and engagi agricultural lalswer*. The probabili tie* are that native la I sir will be wbol ly displace«! by Chinamen. The Ger man concesslonnalrra find they can go more work out of Chinamen. q*lrk Relief. Mrs. Trubbte*—D«x*tor. can you do Hook 8o he I* a poet, eh? What I* Joey—Uncle Joe, what is an optimist anything for my husband? bl* particular line? and a pessimist? DoctorYVhat la the matter? Nye—The Market strei-t line prin Uncle Joe—An optimist. Joey, is a Mr*. Trubble* Worrying about mon man who can act happy when he feels cipally. although I occasionally *ee bi* miserable, and a pessimist is a man verse* In some of tbe other car*.—Phil ey- Doctor—Ofc, I can relieve him of that who can act miserable when he feels adelphia R«x-ord. all right. happy.—Detroit Free Press. A CL**«». The plane they have In the mint are nearly all money making schemes. The Mai* Thia*. "Well.” said Noah as be bunted for Ted Madge is the loveliest little "I wish yon had broken the newt a dry spot on tbe top of Ararat, "a lot more gently.” sighed (be editor tbe of people came down to the pier to Joab thing you ever saw. Why. that girl Is office hoy pled tbe flrst page by drop us when we started, but I don’t see worth a million. More people live to be centenarians The first shell was nsed In warfare ' ping the form down a flight of stalra. — any of them around to poke fun at our Ned -But has she got It? New York, in warm countries than In cold ones. by th* *ultan uf Gujerat, India, lu 14*U 1 Baltimore Auierk-aa. Time* bouie coming "--Life. Poverty la a grindstone on which many wits are sharpened. — Chicago Newa T m R***b. i
