Image provided by: Bandon Historical Society Museum
About Bandon recorder. (Bandon, Or.) 188?-1910 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 4, 1902)
BANDON RECORDER. Th« Art of Brortty. Tbe Spartans were diatlugulsbsd ft* the brevity and conciseness of their speech. Ou oue occasion during a ter- rlble famine the lububltauta of an la- laud in the .Egeau sea sent au embas sador to Sparta, who made a speech Imploring Its aid. He had hardly fin ished before the Spartans sent him back these words. "We did not under stand the end of your speech and have forgotten the beginning.” The jioor, starving i>eople chose an other spokesman ami impressed uis>n him to make Ids request as brief ns possible. He therefore took with him a quan tity of sacks, opened one before the as sembly and said simply, “It is empty; mi it." The sack was tilled as well as the others, but the chief of the assembly said as he dismissed the embassador, loaded with meal: "It wasn't necessary to inform us that the sack was empty. We saw it ourselves. Neither was It necessary to request us to till It. M e should have done it ou our own ac count. Be less long winded next time.” —Christian Endeavor World. A Seared Corpse. "It was, 1 think, at the Haymarket that oue of the most amusing of time hearsed Incidents occurred,” says a writer In M. A. 1’. "The play was 'Romeo and Juliet.’ Mrs. Scott Sid dons was the Juliet of the occasion. All went well until the tinal scene. Paris was duly slain, aud Juliet lay stretched upon her bier. Just then some of the scenery caught alight somehow, but some men from behind soon extinguished It. Juliet, with com mendable presence of mind, did not move an eyelid, but the corpse of Paris was nervous. He raised himself to a sitting (Histlire, then got upon his feet and tied from the stage. The danger being removed, bls courage returned, and the audience was afforded the pleasing spectacle of a corpse crawling along the stage from the wings to take up the proper position for the tinal cur tain. It was too tremendous an anti climax to the tragedy of the play, ami the house was simply convulsed.” Flower« and Poison*. Ever since the days of that floral abomlnutlon, the green curnatlon, we have known that flowers are suscepti ble to the Influence of drugs aud can be made to change their colors by prop er, or, rather. Improper, treatment. This branch of floriculture has been pursued further by inquiring people, and It seems that plants are as liable to the effects of poisons as are human beings. If you give a flower too much chloroform. It will not agree with It. In the words of the operator. "It droops and dies.” It Is difficult to see what Is the advantage of this particular study. Every one knows that flowers can be killed far too easily. If some scientif ic person would And a way of causing them to bloom all the year round In our climate, that would be something of a discovery—less scientific, perhaps, but much more acceptable. — London Ta tier. Obi I k i nf. At a musicale where a priest was a guest a young woman with a robust soprano voice did most of the enter taining. She was very proud of her accomplishments and her musical cd ueatlon. She sang songs In tierman. Italian, French and English. When she appeared to have exhausted her repertory and the company present were wishing for a change In the pro gramme, the clerg.vmun paid her some compliments and added: "Why, Miss Jones, I think you could sing ad Infinitum.” “I really don't know It,” responded the obliging young woman, "but if tl.e music is here I'll try it.”—New York Times. Ho Hod a C.nacles««. "Wonderful fellow, that Herloek Holmes,” remarked the captain a few evenings ago in the smokeroom. “I remember the occasion when I was In troduced to him. It was at a crush at the Van Astorbilts. There was au ful crowd, aud we were eta «ding up in a corner talking, when all at once 1 missed my watch. " 'What’s the matter?' Inquired the detective when be noticed that I was upset, and I told him. "Looking at the time, he observed, speaking so as to be heard for a yard or two around, 'Gentlemen, my friend here lias lost bls watch, but fortunate ly It Is a striking repeater, and as it Is now fifty Wight minutes to 10 when It strikes the hour we shall be sure to hear it and can so detect the thief If you will kindly listen for It.' "Two or three fellows laughed, but all took it good naturedly except an ugly looking foreigner, who colored up under Ills dirt and tried to shuttle away. " 'That’s our man,' said Holmes. “And so It was, for my watch was found on biui. "Was It a repeater? Oil, no! There's where the talent came In.”—Plillnd« I phla Bulletin. Her fcew JHt'kef. A naval officer engaged In ordnance duty ou a home station was given to talklug iu bis sleep. Oue night he awakened tils wife by starting tip In bed and exclaiming In accents of pity lug distress: "She must have a new jacket! I must manage to get one for her!” The wife, knowing her husband's slumtiers had never before been dis turbed by the requirements of her wardrobe, became vastly agitated ami gripped him by the arm. "William! William!” she breathed earnestly Into his ear, hope meanwhile rising high In her breast. "Who Is she?" "My three inch gun!” sighed the overtaxed ordnance man. A A golfing magazine tells this story of a man who applied for the secretary ship of a club. "You understand," snld the captain, "that we want a secretary who Is thor oughly accustomed to managing men.” "in that case," answered the appli cant sadly, "I’m afraid it's not me you want, but my wife." He was bunkered. I had pint tlvec.-ids m my purse. I have not Isa-n a day w ithout work since, ex cept when I lake my annual vacation.” “Haven’t you I*eeti home to visit your part-tils?" I asked. "No,” she said with a smile, “and doubtless that will seem rather heartless to you, but I had "l'is pawing strange to Folly the great a Is-tter Use for my money than s| end commotion Denis G'Hullivati lias raised ing it on traveling. I had to deny my iu his rendition of " Tiief'olleeli Hawn," self that pleasure to obtain one of more "The Shaugrauu ” ami " Arrali-tia- lusting joy to myself as well as the rest Pogue,” ill .''an Francisco. A griat of the fain'ly. In other wolds 1 have many appreciated the plays, for they lifted the mortgage on the old home. were full of pathos and humor, and That mortgage had put more gray hairs only represented a side of hie iu the on my lather and mothei's heads than beautiful Emerald Isle that figures in old Father Time. It looked for a long every country. No place is free from time like they had to lose it, and they just such a class of |ieople, and yet no had gone there when my mother was a level-headed and broad-minded person bride. It would have simply killed will judge the whole country and |s>pu- them Isith to have hud to give up tile lation by this little passing glimpse Into old home. How I did wot k and scrimp the less fortunate class. It was this and save in every way for the tint few class that made the principal charac years. Now there is no mortgage, and ters ill so many of Charles Dickens' father lisiks as if he had a new lease on stories, yet should these issiks Is* dram life, they write to me, and mother is atized, and some of them have been, simply lieside herself with joy. Don't the English people would appeal fool youthink it has paid me to make the ish to rise in their might and denounce sacrifice? Next year I am going home the play and the actors. How often for a vacation and w ill take in the St. have the iguoiant element in the moun Louis Fair at the same lime. You see tainous district of Tennessee figured in I know what I am talking about when story ami play? The same may be said I say that there is no excuse lor a girl of some of the denizens and their life in becoming despondent and attempting the New England States. The same to take her own life. What she wants pitiful story might lie brought to light to do is to act. You are making notes in our own State, but the people and of what I have told you, ate you? place are not going tube judged by this Well, just spell ACT in big letters.” ittle bit of an o’er true story that uuf< r Innately exists in their midst Denis BRIEF' REVIEW O’Sullivan is an Irishman, loyal ami true to his own Emerald Isle, and he Quantities ot Pills. has the faculty of doing everything he A citizen in some physical distress does well. Bollcicaillt, the aullmr of was seen to take a hottleful of pills at a the plays, was also an Irishman, and swallow. "How many pills ale made has portrayed the scenes he was familiar in the United States in ayeat?” the with and which lie has not overdrawn druggist was asked. After a mental any more than the author of Oliver computation he replied; "There are Twist did the side of life his characters were representing. We all know that over a dozen firms in this country en this phase of life, sad as it is, lias, does gaged in making pills and other phar and will exist until the end of time. maceutical preparations. By theuseof Talk about foreign missions, why there power machines the manufacturing is home missionary work to do in all of pharmacist is enabled to turn out 150,- our big cities; |>eople wandering in 000 pills a day. Add the hand-made darkness, poverty-stricken and igno pills, according to physician's prescrip rant. They live a life in their own tions, and 1 should say the annual pill little world. Philanthropists, misaioii- product is not short of 1,(KM),000,000." ariis and charitable people in general It is rather singular that ugar-coated are reaching out ill their feeble way, pills were first made in tills country by but they cannot grasp the situation the Tilden < 'ompany of New Lebanon, and remedy the evil, put a stop to crime N. ¥., of w hich S. J. Tilden is the presi and enlighten and broaden the people dent. [ POLLY LARKItCJ who swarm in these sections in a day, a week or a month. No, they cannot do it in generations to come. So thi- sad and unfortunate part of a country’s population does not necessarily cloud the more cheeiful view of the middle and the other extreme. It would be a wonderful country, indeed, which could |s>int with pride to the fad that then was no ignorance, no poverty, no sim ple-minded people in all their domain. When such a country is found then we can well believe tiiat the dream of the author in “Looking Backward” has been realized. Until that time arrives the merry old world will continue to wag on, and we may expect poverty on one aide, wealth on the oilier, with a vast pereentageof the middleelass who live in comfort, if not in aflliienee and know nothing of the distressing con ditions that exist in Poverty Row. Knowing all this it seems strange tin L sensible men and women should take exceptions to the actor and the plays mentioned to the extent that they would forget theiuselvesand show their displeasure by hissing the participants. » » » » The other day I had a long talk with a young girl who has not seen any of her own people in years. We were dis cussing the attempt of a young girl to commit suicide because she was home sick and without money, home or friends. "It seems strange to me why a girl would lie tempted to take herself out of the world for anything of that kind, ’ she said. "1, too, landed in San Francisco without money, home or frit nds, and had my own way to make. I came from Vermont with the Christian Endeavorers when they had their convention in San Franciscos few years ago. My people were poor and they objected to my taking the little money I had saved and spend it all in coming to California, but it had been the dream of my life to visit the Golden Stale, and I overcame all objections and started out with my few belongings ill a small trunk that had lieeii my mother's when she was married. It was old-timey, I can assure you, but I couldn’t all'ord a new one and had to ‘pocket my pride.’ When I landed in San Francisco I had just live dollars. I at once found a cheap room, and thanks to the restaurants (I believe they are the most reasonable and the l>est in the world here), I managed to exist, al though that live dollars dwindled down awfully fast. I had rented my room for a week and the time was almost npand I did not have the money to pay for another week’s rent. I had scanned the want ads in the daily pa pers, but somehow or other the adver tiser and myself could not come to an understanding. I had two days more to my credit at the lislging-house and then I got des|>erate and sjient sixty cents in advertising for a place. I lived on eotlee and rolls twice a day costing me ten cents a meal the remainder of my stay at the lodging-house. ‘Dis heartened." you ask. Not a bit of it. I'm not of that nature. I knew that the tide would turn In one way or the other, and I have made it n rule never to cross bridges until I get to them. “Well, this time I got pretty close to the bridge liefore the tide turned in my favor. It was the last day and I had received fully a dozen answers to my advertisement. I called at several places la-fore I made up my mind to accept any of the positions, blit finally took a place in a house a* second-girl. It was a relined, nice home I went into, and I felt I was to la- congratulated. After paying to have my trunk delivered I No Duty on Mummies. The London Express tells of an elt. thusisatic collector of mummies w ho reached the Belgian frontier recently with an ancient and respected Egyp tian corpse. At the Customs the offi cials asked w hat it was. “A mummy,” was the answer. "You can’t take it in without paying duty.” "But mummies pay no duty,” replied the traveler. “We will consult the register,” le- plied the official. An enornieus volume was examined, but with no result; mummies were not classified. "Declare it as salt fish” shouted the official to one of tlie clerks, and thus tlie mummy of a possible Pharaoh made its entry into Belgium. I ANIMAL ODDITIES. HUMOR OF THE HOUR It is said that the frigate bird can fly an entire week without stopping to rest. borne of the cats In Liberia are of a bright red tlut, and they are very conspicuous In the moonlight. The cry of a young seal when wound ed or about to be attucked resembles that of a child In distress, and tears flow from its eyes. The common herring Is the most dif tlcult of all murine creatures to catch alive for au uquarlum. A whale is the most difficult to preServe alive. ('runes, storks und wild geese tly fust enough to make the trip from northern Europe to Africa in a week, but most of them rest north of the Mediterranean. A fox Is dainty us well as crafty aud prefers the tongues of lambs for food. He bus been seen to chase sheep until they, on becoming tired, hung out their tongues, which lie then tears off and eats. A caterpillar cannot see more than a centimeter ahead that is to say, less than two-tlfths of an inch. The hairs on the body are said to be of us much use as its eyes iu letting It know w hat Is going on around. Wever Saw Her, Hut— The fulluwlug fragment of conversa tion was overheard In a park ou a re cent Sunday morning between two well dressed ladies: "Did you notice that girl who looked at us so pointedly just now?” "No, dear. Which one?” "It was Just UB we were passing the ■Achilles’ statue.” “Oh! Do you mean the one In a fray Eton Jacket with blue silk revers and a strapped skirt to match, a blue hat with a big row of green velvet, pale gray kid gloveB stitched with black, a pale blue silk flounced under skirt and high heeled patent leather shoes, a spotted veil and a blue para sol ?” "Yes, dear; that was the one.” "No, then; I didn't notice her. In fact, I hardly looked at tier.”- Cleve land Plain Dealer. Stronic Bill. Three Great Navigators. To review tlie work of Columbus without referring to that of Vespuclus and Magellan would leave the story of new sea and world discovery discon nected mid incomplete. This will be patent when It is remembered that, though a believer ill the rotundity of Hie earth, it was not Columbus, but Magellan, who first physically demon r rated that fact by circumnavigation. And Magellan might have failed but lor tlie previous work ot Vespuclus. tlie latter bail explored the Atlantic <• cist of South America farther south Ilian any of Ids predecessors and the south Atlantic ocean eastward to the islands of South Georgia, nearly to the parallel of Cape Horn. By this Journey Vespuclus demon strated with a considerable degree of certainty that the strait, which had for some years been looked for, lead ing to tlie elusive unknown sea that hounded the eastern coast of Asia, was not to be found through the new lauds of tlie west north of 54 degrees south at all events. The mouth of the Ama zon, the bays of Rio Janeiro and of the I.a Plata had been explored and were I found to contain fresh water, so that through none of these could an en trance to the unknown sea on the far ther west be fouud. "Do you have a good lecture course here during the winter?” we ask of the manager of the Higginsville lyceum. "Indeed we do,” he answers. "And next season we expect to outdo all pre vious records. So fur we have booked one ransomed missionary, one reform ed gambler, one troupe of trained ani mals. one converted heathen, one mov ing picture machine and one profes sional personator. We may take on a college professor who wants to speak about the tendency of modern literary” thought, but 1 don’t know. It's pretty hard to keep the course on the same high plane of thought throughout.”— Judge. Saws That Cut Each Other. A proverb has been defined as “the wisdom of the many aud the wit of one;” but. clever as this definition is, it is scarcely borne out by a compari son of tlie most familiar of our prov erbs. The following are some of the most striking: “Penny wise and pound foolish” is the exact opposite of "Take care of the pence and the pouuds will take care of themselves;” so "Birds of a feather flock together" and “Two of a trade never agree.” “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” aud "Out of sight, out of mind," are Just as con tradictory as "Many bands make Hght work" and "Too many cooks spoil the broth." So. too, “Delays are danger ous" is tlie flat opposite of "Second thoughts are best," while tlie philoso pher who Invented the axiom "Tlie early bird catches the worm” had ap parently never heard of King Alfonso’s world renowned saying that "All things come to hint who waits.” On this particular subject the opinion of tlie worm and the bird might be worth having. Her Little llrotlier. Surprised His Wife. A story is told of a Pennsylvania farmer who wore his old suit until ev ery one was tired of It, and bis esti mable wife was almost ashamed of the hustling man who had been iuslde it so long. But one day be we'ut to town to sell his produce, and while there be determined to buy a uew suit and, happy thought, surprise Eliza. So he bundled a neat suit into the wagon and drove homeward. It was after uigbt as he hurried homeward, and at a bridge over a river he stood up on ttie wagon and "peeled" and threw the despised old suit in the water. Then he reached for bls new clothes. They were gone— had Jolted out of the wagon. The uigbt was cold anil Ills teeth chattered as be hurried home. He surprised Eliza even more than be anticipated. The Teacher aud the Shirt. There Is a teacher In a school In a town in New Jersey who Inis Brooklyn relatives, since it is her birthplace and was her residence until she wandered Into tlie wilds of Jersey to train the youthful savage in the way he should educationally go. Among her scholars was one boy, a Tommy Russell, who was well nigh Incorrigible. Oue day, patience exhausted, the teacher caught the lad and gave him a shaking that made Ins teeth rattle in their sockets. More, so vigorous was her clutch that she tore Ids shirt. The next morning the lad appeared with a neat bundle, laying it before the teacher on the desk. “What Is this. Tommy?" asked the teacher. "I dunno, teacher,” was the reply. “Me mudder sed glv' t’youse.” The teacher opened the bundle to Oldest Inn in England. find Tommy’s torn shirt with Oils In the village of Norton, St. Philip is memorandum: "You tore the shirt; now you can tlie George Inn. It claims to be the mend It.”—Brooklyn Eagle. oldest licensed village alehouse in Eng land, the license dating from 1397. Its Ills Worm Class. appearance is eminetly picturesque, "Hello, papa!” cried the daughter of each story overhanging that beneath, the Wall street operator after the fa while the front is broken by bay win ther reached his porch after his ride dows, a porch and a flight of stonesteps out from the city ou a suburban train leading to a doorway in (lie wall. At and seated his little one on his knee. the back are more quaint doors and "But, papa. I've got one you enu’t windows, a turret built against tlie w all guess.” "Can't guess?” said the flnaucler. and including an outside stair, while in the yard still remains a portion of the "Another new joke?” “A good one, too," chattered the lit old gallery which in the middle ages tle girl "You ought to guess It, but was found ill so many hostelries. Most you can’t. Now. if a student is a book of the front is timbered. Each gable is worm what kind of a worm are you?” surmounted by a courioiischimney. A "Well, that is a hard one. We're all curious feature of tlie interior is Hie up supposed to be worms In one way," said the speculator. per floor which is of plaster. “Yes, but you'd be a tapeworm," broke In the little girl, with a burst of The Bible in Japan. laughter; "you read the ticker tape so Thirty years ago in Japan the Scrip much.” tures were printed secretly and copies “That’s right.” was the answer.— were sent out only after dark. Those New York Tribune. who were engaged upon this work did it at the risk of their lives. Now there English Meat Pie. is a Christian printing company in Yo The veal and bam pie which Is a kohama, issuing tlie Scriptures not common English dish should be better only iu Japanese, but in Chinese, Thi- known here. The bone end of a piece betan, Corean and two dialects of the of veal Is stewed till the meat is ten Philippine islands. Last year there der, with an equal amount of smoked bam. Take out the bone, strain the were circulated in Japan alone over stock and separate the veal and ham 135,1X10 copies. pieces. Cut each In strips and lay iu alternate layers iu a deep baking dish. The kissar is one of tlie most ancient Season, cover with the clear stock and of Egyptian instruments It is found tiiiish the dish with a flaky crust tlu\t represented in monuments antedating will bake quickly. The dish is eaten tin- date of Christ by 2000 years. It cold, and when cut like any pie It will consists of a circular body, with a large be found that tlie meat is set in a de licious jelly. Iriangiihu flame above, from the cross bar of which I've strings pass to tlie bot A Remarkable Petition. tom of the frame. It is tuned to the The keeper of the menagerie at Ver pentatonic scale. sailles during the reign of Louis XVI. had orders to administer six bottles of To harden tools for engraving they burgundy every day to a dromedary are heated to w hiteness and plunged in which had grown feeble with old age to sealing wax, withdrawn after an in and which the king was very anxious stant and plunged in again, repeating to keep alive. In spite of this ultra tlie process until the steel becomes cold. generous treatment the animal died, to The tool will then become almost as the great despair of bis uurse, who pe titioned the king with a view of obtain hard as a diamond. ing the "succession of the dromedary” —that is to say, all the advantages at In signing his name to the plans and tached to bls person. specifications for the World’s Fair Art Palace in St. Louis, which will cost Women In Command. |945,ixxt, the contractor liad to sign his In several villages of Finland the name 24'H1 times. It was a hard day’s woman has authority, for a religious sect exists there whose disciples are work. forced to marry and to take a vow to A hopeless num Is de erted by him submit to the wife In all things. The self, and lie who deserts himself is simiii women choose one of their number for governing head, whose duty It Is to see deserted by Ids friends. that the men behave themselves and to Quarantine was first established punish them if they transgress. Sim against Infectious diseases in the tenth ilar are the "Purlflcants" of Liberia, who also recognize the supremacy of century. women. Switzerland ex|Hirt.s regularly to otIl Iu Hie Punjab the deaths from er countries s<-venteen di tie rent kinds plague average nearly 70.0tx) monthly. of cheese. The squirrels at Hassan, Mysore, A woman does not Iwgin Io command caught the disease and have been com until she has promised lools-y. pletely Wiped out. Tbr Wonderful StarBth. There are scores upon scores of dif ferent forms of marine animal life that uuie within the category assigned to sturflshes. but the moat aingular specimen iu tlie whole group is the splendid astropbytou the "sea basket” or the sailors. It is truly a wouderful specimen of marine life, having hun dreds of long and short, straight, twist ed and curled tentacles, and but for the geometric precision of the plau upon which the starlike "body" is fashioned might be mistaken for a miniature, cir cular a|»eclnieu of the devilflab. 1 he center <<f the creature, the "hub,” from which tlie live stout arms radiate, is tlie liody, bead and "thinking ma- chine” of our curious astrophyton. Tlie whole, not including the laby rinthine tentacles, which branch to all the points and intermediate points of tlie compass, looks for all the world like an animated Fourth of July lire- wheel. The five main arms are divided into three each within a short space from the astro’s body, and these tlirue are almost Immediately subdivided In to innumerable other arms and ten tacles, the whole forming a net by means of which it captures Its prey and holds its victims until the life has been sucked out of them. [ i | ' ' George—Is your father a bunker? Maud—No. Why? George — Nothing; only your little brother seems to be a teller. Worth Trying Attain. Tne Impecunious author passed over the manuscript with a faltering band. The aged but truthful editor started, A Feat of Sfrenati!. "Er—Mr. Wrlgbtly,” he said, with “Papa,” said little Willie, wlio was the air of a man who has Just become looking at a picture of Atlas, “nobuddy saddled with a great thought, "did you could hold the world on their back, ever hear that Walter Scott received could they?” the suggestion of his tirst successful “I don’t know about that,” answered novel while he wns washing his hands?" pupa. "I’ve heard people talk about “I—I believe I read of It,” stammered Wheeling, West Virginia.”—Indianapo the Impecunious author, slipping his lis Suu. bands Into his pockets. A faraway look came Into tlie face of the aged Hereditary. but trutliful editor. “I saw Kluinsey’s bhby yesterday. “I was merely throwing out the sug It’s a regular chip off tlie old block.” gestion.” he said softly. "Why, I couldn’t see any resem blance at all.” Pepyi on Lent.* "No? Well, when I saw tlie kid it The scarcity of fish In old times In had Just opened Its mouth und put its England made it difficult for the poor foot in It”—Philadelphia Press. to keep Lent. Pepys remarks, "The talk of the towne now is whether Lent An L'nfortanate “Slip.’’ shall be kept with the strlctnesse of It was the clerk’s first day in his new the king’s proclamation, which is position. He bad formerly worked for thought cannot be, because of the poor a haberdasher. who cannot buy flsh.” He also says: “I wish to get a dog collar," said the "Notwithstanding my resolution, yet, customer. for want of other victuaMs, I did eat “For yourself?” asked tlie clerk ab flesh this Lent.” and again. "Our din sentmindedly.—Chicago Post. ner was only sugar sopps and flsh. the only time we have liad a Lenten din Strike. ner all this Lent.” Hogan (on strike)—Th’ hungry vll- lyuus! Troth, they’ll ate me out av The First Women on the Stave. bouse an’ home before th’ sthroike do It is now ascertained beyond doubt be hided. that women tirst appeared upon the Little Mamie—An’ de worst uv it is, stage between November, 1600, and dad, ye can't arbitrate wld hungry January. 1001. Ou Jan. 3 Pepys, that kids.—Puck. inveterate playgoer, tells us that he saw “Tlie Beggar'B Bush,” "It being Dealing In Futures. well done, und here the tirst time that In a cemetery at Middlebury, Vt, is I ever saw women come upon the a stone, erected by a widow to her lov stage.”—Cornhill Magazine. ing busband, bearing this inscription: "Rest In Peace—Until We Meet A Straightforward Answer. Again.”—Life. J. B. Lippincott ouce ventured to ask Onida, the novelist, how she came to Seems More Likely. know so much about clubs, camp life, "She Is plain enough to stop a clock.” barracks, gambling bouses and other “If she's aS plain as that, I should places which are only visited by men. think she would be more apt to make She placed her hands upon her knees It run."—Cleveland Plain Dealer. anil, looking straight at her questioner, snld. "It Is none of your business.” Common Sense. O common sensei No diadem Is thine, And on thy plain, unsentimental taee There Is no brilliancy nor hint of grace. And yet I love thee and would make thee mine Because thou art essentially divine. Thou only through life's labyrinth canst trace The true, safe path for our distracted race. Ever to follow thee my heart Incline! Once on the wilderness of waters wide Brooded the spirit, and the lands up rose. And chaos saw sweet order then com: mence. Such Is thy power, and where thou dost abide Each moon a.id planet straight and stately goes. Heaven born, earth saving common sense! —American Kitchen Magazine. liriiivlnit Walking Canes. Few men who use walking canes are aware that the growing of walking stalks is a special industry and that certain kinds of canes are not merely collected as they may be found grow ing in forests. One may And at any store where the sticks are sold many canes of almost precisely the same length, weight, shape and material. Canes having a tangle of roots at Hie handle, for iustanev, ure much sold In Englund. They are grown by a "fann er” wlio makes It u specialty to trim and shape young usb plants. A Horticultural Lover. “Did Biffkins ever tell you about bis love affair?” “Oh. yes! When he first met the girl, he thought she was a peach, and she ' soon became the apple of his eye. but | he learned that she didn't give a fig for him. so It soon became a case of sour grapes.”—Toledo Bee. | Knowing. Buck —Mike, can I know what 1 don’t know? Mike—No. , Buck—There Is something I don’t know, and I know It. Then don't I know what I know? Mike—I don't know.—Judge. Recently Acquired. Tom—By George, old man, that's a stunning girl who Just bowed to you. Who is she? Jack My sister. Tom—Your sister! Since when? Jack - Since last night. — Chicago News. it's an easy matter to get Into the inbit of meeting trouble half way.— Chicago News. If you associate with a fool, don't let die fool control vou.— Atchison Gleba FACTS IN FEW LINES In Massachusetts schools dissection of animals has been forbidden by law. Over 50.060 couples resident in Ber llu have celebrated their silver wed dings. A short New York man asks for a di vorce because bls tall wife is ashamed to he seen with him. In Beaumont. Tex., 1,500 residences were built In the last twelve mouths. It lias a jiopiilatlon of 30,000. Raleigh Introduced tobacco In Eu rope, and now North Carolina will erect a monument to Sir Walter tn Raleigh. The Hebrew theaters iu Chicago have reached an agreement by which plays are to be passed along from one to ail other. Only 49.74(1 acres of flax are being cultivated this-year iu Ireland, a de rreatfe of 10.3 per eelit oil tlie figures for 1D01. Four million dollars Is Hie sum an Dually left in Faris by visiting Amerl cans, according to a writer In the Petit Parisian. It is one of tlie duties of tlie Berlin fire brigade to supply steel cylinders containing oxygen for use In cases of gas poisoning. Billiards as a game Is decreasing In |K>pularlty in France, where the num ber of tables III use fell from 1H1.OO0 In 1880 to SD.ixx) last year. A decree recently promulgated by the government of Costa Rica estate fishes chemical laboratories In the cus tom houses of the republic. Nearly S.ixxi motor cars are now In use In Purls and the neighborhood, 3.860 of the cars having a registered speed of over eighteen miles au hour. A tomb of lapis lazuli has been dis covered among several others south of the great pyramid of Gizeh. There were many sarcophagi and Inscriptions found likewise. Spltzbergen belongs to no country, and since the cessation of whaling It is deserted even in summer. There are deposits <>f coal mid phosphates, lint it does not pay to work them. Bouts instead of wagons are used by tlie rural free delivery carrier at New Suffolk N. Y. The route there lies along tlie shores of a protected bay, mid In ordinary weather he can sail over Ills course more easily than he can go Iu a wagon. Less than 10 per cent of Manitoba's land has been taken up. The neighbor ing territory of Asslnlbola Ims nearly (io.txxi.ixMi acres, mostly suitable for wheat propagation. Alberta, near the Rockies, Is 500 by 300 miles in extent, and Saskatchewan is another empire in urea. Platinum lias long been mined In the Slmllkameen. about 150 miles east of Vancouver, B. C. It is snld that China men have been earning living wages for the past fifteen years by recover ing platinum from the placer deposits of the Tulmneen river and also of Granite creek. It Is reported that an oil spring of good quality has been discovered In the southeastern district of South Aus tralia. The spring is near the lakes which exist at the mouth of the Mur ray river. In the vicinity of the little towu of Beulngle, on the eastern shore of Lake Albert. For playing “heads and tails" fur stakes of a farthiug an apprentice named Paul Riedel has been sentenced to banishment from Austria. Accord Ing to the Austrian criminal law. the uniform punishment for nil games of chance, Including the game "heads and tails,” Is banishment. The Assouan dam on the Nile Itself Is one of the greatest engineering works In existence. It is no less than one and a quarter miles In length,, and It Is pierced by 180 sluice gates 27 feet In height and 7 feet In width, by means of which the regulation of the waters will lie secured. An Atlanta (Ga.) bank has opened a department exclusively for its women clients. The paying teller is u woman, who pays all checks presented to her In brand new currency. Depositors in the women's department are furnished with dainty combination check and pass books bound In Russian leather. The disciplinary council of the Mu nich bar has Just bad brought before It a barrister charged with the high crime and misdemeanor of taking part In amateur theatricals. The impugned lawyer pleaded that be had charged no fees, but tlie bar council declined to admit that this want of prudence purged the offense aud imposed a fine, together with a sharp reprimand. That a powerful alarm like a fog siren can be sounded without being heard Is shown by the Investigations ot E. P. Edwards on the English coast, according to London Invention. At a distance of a mile from the siren the souud began to die away, and between two aud three miles It was entirely in audible. This mysterious 'silent zone” constantly changed In extent and post tlon. Census returns give 5,354 children under sixteen years of age who are ern ployed In making shirts for men In the United States. More than 3.( mk ) of these are employed In factories. There are 1,145 employed In making women’s skirts and similar garuieuts. Nearly 8.060 are In the stocking tactorles and over 9.000 in the miscellaneous employ- ments connected with the production of ready made attire. The oldest living pioneer of Oregon Is William Abernethy of Dora. Coos county. He Is an Illinoisan. His fami ly left Illinois in 1839, traveled by wag on and canalboat to New York, thence sailed around the Horn. There was no San Francisco then, so their ship bended for the mouth of the Columbia river, where they arrived in June. 1840. Mr. Abernethy, who is a well preserved man of seventy, helped bls father build the first sawmill erected in Oregon. Three of a Kind. This conversation was heard on a coater’s holiday at the luncheon hour: The youug hopeful complains, "1 say, muvver, ain’t I goln' to ’ave any ’am?" “Don’t say ’am. Billy; say ' am .” The father of the family, listening with evident scoru, nudged n cultured broth er. "They bof finks they’re sayin' ’AM.”— Loudon Globe. Find sense In blockbeads, honesty In rogues. s|>eak well of everybody, and your fortune la as good as made.— Beaumarchais.
