Bandon recorder., October 30, 1902, Image 3

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MISS LETITIA’S
TROUSSEAU
By Olive Winston-Gage
<► Copyright, 1902, by
¡ J
Olive Winston-Gage
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Mrs. Alden meant. J'liat her shafts
hit the mark there was no doubt. Mrs.
I’onsouby gazed after the carriage and
said to her dear, familiar friend:
"Mrs. Alden does have the knack of
taking one by surprise. She confuses a
person so. < if course, 1 didn't mean—
that Is, I didn't intend to own”—
"That you took that way of assur­
ing Sophy a number of bouquets and
presents? I thought you didn't mean
to say that. dear, did you?” suggested
the friend sweetly.
Mrs. I'onsouby translated the re­
mark as It was Intended and treasur­
ed It for future use.
tong, out t ve never outgrown n girlish
pleasure in being liked.
“You I iik I your husbaml and dill
dren, and Go«l knows 1 never begi udg
e«l wives and mothers their happiness,
for my life has been a healthy, happy
one, ami so completely am I a splnsti r
that I believe I was born one. I’ve
never s«*en th«* man I have even Imag­
ined I could fancy, but there was oik
thing I di«l want.”
Mrs. Alden had listened sympathetic
ally. As Miss Letitia paused for breath
she ventured to s|>eak. “What was
that. Letitia?”
"You may laugh, Jennie, If you wish,
but that was no more or less than a
trousseau!”
“What? Do you mean that"—
“I mean, ami I know it will go no
further, that I couldn't have a irons
seau without a marriage, ami that was
why I sent out cards. Don't you un­
derstand, Jennie? Tlie marriage could
not take place because there was no
bridi*groom at all. Now It’s out.”
For once Mrs. Alden was surprised
beyond the power of expression, but
when she did recover her merry laugh­
ter was delightful to hear and was
Joined In by Letitia.
"What a good joke!” gasped Mrs.
Jennie. “Wouldn't It make the Rich­
mond dames open their eyes? It shall
go no further, though 1 would like
Alyn to know, if you have no objee-
tlon. What would Mrs. 1'on son by
say ?”
"Emjiellish It until we wouldn’t
know it. But there's one thing she
won't enjoy any more—expectations of
sharing my fortune. 1 shall leave my
money as a fund for old maids’ trous­
seaux.”
FATAL hlSCoVEIUES
INVENTIONS THAT BROUGHT THEIR
ORIGINATORS TO THE GRAVE.
Scientillc Secret» I hut llu»r Heeu
Burietl With tlie Hen U Ito !*«»«>
«earned Them umi Tliut Were the
( huncm <»f Their Tragic Taakluic Off.
HE TOOKTHE SHOWER BATH
I
I m ’ obico ano OtAtias
An luwIllluM Juror,
tail It llrutr Him From th«* 1 <>»«*iu-
Itr Hark to New Eualuud.
After a week of little Journeys, strik­
ing here and there a few miles to ab­
sorb the Yosemite valley from a dozen
coignes of vanUge. we were whipping
the llliluuette one afternoon tor uiouu-
tain trout, says the World's Work.
“Tomorrow,” said a voice, "1 shall
take a shower bath under the seven­
teen hundred foot fall.”
"You," salil another voice, "nre a
fool.”
“Not at all,” came back nrgumenta-
lively. "Tbe river's very low. What
there Is of It turns to spray in the
lirst hundred feet; it will simply come
down like rain, Why, you'd go under
the Bridal Veil yourself, Only that's
prosaic. This is something big. Come
Hl."
“Not 1.”
But I was there to see. Th«* water,
us he had said, cam«* down, a consid­
erable part of It. in rain ami spray
that flew out on the wind im'redible
distances. But to crawl down, dress«*«!
in a bathing suit, doser to the main
stream thut fulls to th«* pool nml upon
the rocks with a murderous swish in
th«* air and n roar lik<* a railway train
when it strikes was «luring to fool
hardim*HH. At any moment a veering
wind might swing tin* whole mass upon
tin* lull, slim figure backing tentative­
ly on all fours down tlie Jaggmi lulus
slop«*, his eyegluss pebbles glinting
«•lieerfully. A steady breeze kept the
fail swung out a little tin* other way,
and tlie spray burgeoned out far up
the other slop«*. The roar was deafen-
Ing.
All at once the wind shifted, the
water swung back, and In a flash the
human figure was blotted out In a del­
uge that turned me slek. For a sec­
ond that seemed an hour It played
on the s|H>t fiendishly, it seemed to
me, standing horrified there, and then
•slowly it swept away.
Ami then there was a movement, a
painful,era wling movement,down there
on tin* slop**, and I scrambled down the
slippery rocks to help a blinking, creep­
ing, much surprised youth, bleeding
from a hundred cuts, up to where ills
clot lies lay. He was still too dazed to
speak. Wlien Ids breath returne«! and
Ids extra glasses were perched again
on Ids nose, he said:
"The oceans fell upon me! For God's
sake, come back to New Englund!"
And we went.
The maxim which states that silence
is golden bus cost the world some of
the greatest discoveries of modern
times, for not u few of tlie inventors
ETITIA HOUGHTON was go
whose names would have been handed
Ing to be married; consequent­
dovv n to posterity as publie lienefuc-
ly many of her dear feminine
tors have been killed by their secrets
frlemls said it was a shame, a
Miss Letitia's wedding night had ar­
before they would consent to divulge
scandal, for Letitia to think of such rived.
She was looking extremely
them to their fellou beings.
folly at her time of life. These same handsome and accepted tlie effusive
Ill 1SH5 all Europe was startled by
authorities declared she was fifty live compliments of her friends in appar­
tlie discovery of a new explosive called
years old, adding there was no fool ent good faith. They declared she did
fulminlte, which, it was believed,
like an ohl one.
not look a day over forty.
would revolutionise modern warfare.
Letitia was on the sunny sid<* of for­
As yet the groom had not made Ills
It was the invention of an Exeter
ty five, but did not look ns if she were appearance. Miss Letitia had excused
scientist named Sawbridge, and sain
herself
a
moment
or
two,
but
as
the
forty, being handsome, with a pretty
pies of the explosive which were test­
home, a tidy income, a kind heart anti minutes lengthened into an hour with­
ed by the government revealed tlie fact
a sound head.
out her returning significant glances
that its power was three times greater
Tin* benellclarles of her bounty had were exchanged, and the buzz of many
than that of cordite and in conse­
become aceiistomisl to consider her a voices was heard.
quence it would treble the range of a
spinster, too eonlirined a devotee to
It is astonishing how much pleasure
rifle bullet. The tierman government
single bh ssediiess to change her state. some people derive from the distress
offered Sawbridge £2U,<HH> for Ids in­
What right had thnt ohl thing to be or mortification of their friends. Mrs.
vention, which lie patriotically refused
taken In by mi Impecunious adventur­ I'onsouby and her coterie were insinu­
until tlie home authorities hail had the
ating
Hint
something
was
wrong,
voic
­
er when she had friends of her lifetime
first option of purchase, But Just ns
who naturally expected she had no ing pity which their eyes and counte­
the latter were about to seal a eon
kinspi'opl«* to b<* remember«*«! in her nances belied.
tract with him the news came that Ills
Mrs. Alden was becoming worried
will, not that they were merci'iiary,
laboratory had been blown up and him
but that they had a sort of claim upon over the prolonged absence of Miss
self wit II it. Unfortunately he left
Letitia from tlie room and wished she
her.
no records whatever, and although
Remarks of this kind were freely In­ would return and silence the malicious
some of tlie lending experts of tlie day
dulged in will'll the invitations were re­ tongues.
minutely examined tlie debris they
"She's prevailing on her swain not to
ceived. Twenty-live or thirty women
failed to discover the secret, which is
talking nt once is rather confusing, become faint hearted.” giggled Mrs.
probably lost forever.
and as the speakers became excited the I’onsouby.
About half a century ago an Italian
Thoroughly exasperated, Mrs. Jennie Why Drownlm Men Claw tlie Air.
comments became more personal and
priest named Luigi Tarantl discovered
nssunied mi 111 natured circle, mid was about to give a crushing retort
An explanation of the Invariable hab­ a method of making stained glass, the
tonglies were flying faster than need­ wlii'ii Miss Letitia reappeared.
it of the drowning to reach after the In­ coloring of which was declared equal
She was slightly pale, her demeanor tangible, which has been described as to that made by the ancients, whose
less.
An exceedingly pretty mid richly a mixture of regret and dignity, while “catching after straws,” is explained secret has b<*en lost. Tarantl aban­
dressed woman, n guest of the society, a blending of defiance was depicted in by the evolutionists as au unconscious doned holy orders and set to work to
now took up tlie cudgels in defense of her erect attitude.
return to the instinctive habits of execute tlie hundreds of commissions
"I've had a telegram from Mr. Lang- num's arboreal ancestry, the tree in­ lie received In Ila* secrecy of ids work
the absent.
“Ladies, ladles, is this a modern worthy. Business of a family nature habiting apes.
When consciousness simp at Ostin, near Rome. Tlie fluent
school for scandal or a church society which I shall not be at liberty to di­ fades, he loses Ids acquired habits. In­ stained glass windows In Italy were
held in th«* basement of a sacred edi­ vulge indiscriminately compels IHm to cluding those Inherited from a more re­ made by him, mid lie guarded bis se­
fice? Yon all have cause to be grate­ start for Europe as he sent the mes­ cent ancestry, and reverts to the in­ eret well, for when a year later he was
ful to r,«'tltia. Why should you speak sage off; consequently there will be no stinctive habits of the frightened mon­ found dead of blood poisoning, set up
of her so bitterly now because she ex­ marriage tonight. That need not in­ key who seeks safety by clutching the by tlie pigments lie employed, It was
ercises tin* right we have all elaiined?” terfere with our enjoyment of the sup­ nearest limb of the tree from which he realized that In- hail carried ids s«*cret
with him.
The cleverest workmen
Mrs. Alyn Alden was a leader of so­ per. The presents will be returned is In danger of falling.
ciety whose dictum made or unmade to their donors tomorrow. Mr. Alden,
The movement is certainly Instinctive, were called In to examine tlie Ingredi­
a newcomer entering tlie charmed cir­ will you see me to the table? The for It can only be eliminated by con­ ents. lint they one and all failed to
cle. There was not a woman present minister will take you, Jennie.”
siderable training and voluntary ef­ penetrate the dead mail's secret.
Iler astounding revelation called forts, and yet it is fatal to the Individ­
The person who could make compo­
who was not anxious to retain her fa­
forth a chorus of ohs and ahs, anil a ual. for the specific gravity of no hu­ sition billiard balls equal to those of
vor.
NATURAL HISTORY.
“Why, wliat have we said? It Is ec­ dozen excited women began to ply her man body is so nearly that of water Ivory would quickly qualify ns a mil
Ostriches live to the age of about
centric in Miss Letitia to get married with questions, protesting against her that the removal of the arms from the lionalre, and it is not an impossible
at her time of life, now, Isn’t It. Mrs. returning the presents, but she waved supporting fluid at once sinks face be- task, for It lias already been done. sixty years.
them aside.
Some years ago a Scotch manufactur­
neath tlie surface,
The mandarin duck Is one of the
Jennie?”
"The marriage is indefinitely post­
111 cases of so called “cramps” t lie er put composition billiard balls on the most beautiful of uquatlc birds.
“1 do not know why It should be con­
So voracious Is the cod thut it will
sidered so; Letitia is a very pretty poned through no fault of either bride victim, often a highly trained swim­ market which were ns good at but
or bridegroom, so you need not Imag­ mer, generally throws up tlie hands, only a third of the price of those al swallow anything it sees In motion.
woman.”
Mrs. Jennie, ns Mrs. Alden was gen­ ine lie's absconded or Jilted me. Under but these eases are probably due to ready In use. He refrained from pat
An eel has two separate hearts. One
erally called, was a power, mid with the circumstances I will not need tlie heart failure, and a similar movement enting his Invention and made all the beats (¡0, the other IGO, times a minute.
promptitude they proceeded to eat presents. Who ever heard of bridal takes place on land when the subject balls himself, even his family being
A ladybird cun travel 20,000,000,000
gifts when there is not much likeli­ receives a fatal heart wound, and It Is proldliltisl from sharing Ids secret.
tlielr words with marvelous celerity.
times Its own length in an hour. In
hood
of
the
marriage
being
performed?
But
Just
ns
ho
was
beginning
to
taste
even a common expression of shock or
Mrs. Jennie smiled and biule them
that time a sloth cun only travel fifty
tlie fruits of his experiments lie was times its own length.
good morning. On the way to Miss I promise you”—with a tine grim smile astonishment.
The ordinary movements of walking one day mortally wounded by an acci­
Letitia’s she made a gesture ns if slio that somehow made certain ladles feel
There is no country in the world In
uncomfortable—“if the marriage does or running would keep a man's face dent In Ids workshop nnd died before
liad touched mt III smelling weed.
wldeh the raven Is not found to be nu
take
place
that
I
will
expect
nothing
he
could
make
any
statement.
Ex
­
above the water, but these curious
“What a power of harm such women
live; It Is also the only bird known to
can <lo at times! I do not pose ns a from you. Now come to supper, That climbing movements of both hands and perts were given specimens of tlie balls ornithologists which Is of such cosmo­
will not be a disappointment If the feet make floating impossible and are to analyze, but in spite of tlie fact that
reformer, but I really would Ilk«* to re­
politan character.
wedding is.”
responsible for many deaths by drown­ they succeeded In tracing the materi­
call tlie «lin king stool for their benefit.
(Inly one existing reptile cun sustain
She gave her guests no timi» to dis­ ing.
als used they have long since given up
Poor Letitia!
I hope she has not
itself in the air. This is the flying
cuss her affairs iti groups, but marched
all
hopes
of
being
aide
to
discover
how
chosen untv isely."
dragon of the East Indies. It has no
they were put together.
Rngllah Waup«.
. Her musings ceased as the coachman
real wings, hut can glide from tree to
The
only
mull
Who
has
yet
been
suc
­
The common wasp, as a rule, keeps
drew rein before tlie pretty, old fash­
tree like u Hying squirrel.
Its sting for self defense. It will bite cessful in taking photographs in color
ioned garden of the Houghtons. .Mrs.
The common house fly usually pro­
was
a
martyr
to
his
discovery,
the
a fly In two with its Jaws If it gets In
Jennie was met In tlie yard by the
duces the note F in flying. To do so
secret
of
which
Is
lost.
Some
years
Its way on a window pane, but It does
bride elect, whose fresh and fair com­
it must vibrate Its wings 335 times a
not use its sting even when trying to ago Dr. Herbert Franklin of Chicago second. The honey bee sounds A,
plexion had detied the ravages of time.
submitted
a
number
of
colored
photo
­
rob a beehive and “tackled” by the
With her bright hazel eyes and wavy
graphs of a somewhat crude nature, which means that its wing vibrations
bees. The latter will push a wasp
light lirown hair she might have passed
are 440 to the second.
away live or six times, hustling It off it Is true—to the leading American
tor thirty-five at most.
scientific Institutions, and tlie encour­
the footboard without provoking It to
“Come into the Imus«*, Jennie; it’s
Flrat Ansi) sis of Aerolites.
sting, but if a bee endeavors to sting agement he received was such that
lovely out here among the flowers, but
III 179(1 a stone weighing fifty-six
he built himself a laboratory, proof
the wasp It then grapples with It and
I have some tilings I wish to show you.
against the wiles of spies, at a cost |H>unds was exhibited hi London. It
stings back, killing or benumbing the
The dress bus come. 1 am too old to
of $12,000, wherein to perfect his In­ was said to have fallen from the sky
Insect almost at once.
be married iu white satin, so I selected
vention. In the preparation of his 111 Yorkshire In the previous December,
British wasps are fussy and excita­
a pink brocade trimmed with lace. I
plates he used n charcoal lire, and one but this statement was received with
ble, but not vicious, like many of the
have ffever bad so many pretty clothes
day when at work he omitted to open great Incredulity. At that time Sir Jo­
Indian wild bees. However crowded
made at one time iu my life, for I
the ventilators and was found asphyx­ seph Banks was president of the Royal
or uncomfortable they may be, they
never needed to. I don’t think I’m
iated. He had refrained from divulg­ society, mid lie noticed a strong re­
very rarely quarrel with or sting each
envious, but when 1 saw all my
ing his secret to any one, and in con­ semblance between the Yorkshire stone
other—as, for instance, when a number
friends' handsome outfits it occurred
sequence, although some partially tin mid one sent to him from Siena, in It­
ure on the same window pane, fretting
to me that It would be an Inducement
Islied plates that hid the secret re­ aly, which was said to have fallen
and
anxious
to
get
out.
Only
when
the
to marry. Do you not like It?”
malned, the way they were prepared from the sky. Two or three years bit­
entrance to tlielr nest Is threatened do
She fingered the glistening folds lov­
is a problem that has bullied K-ieldlsts er he received an account of a fall of
they become actively aggressive, and
stones near Benares, In Hindustan. A
ingly, anil Mrs. Alden looked and ad­
to this day.
"f’ve had a teleyram from Mr. Lan<j- then, as a rule, the attack Is not begun
chemical analysis of the stones from
mired, then said:
to
his
secret
was
Another
victim
worthy.
till the person who excites their fear
“Blit where did you meet tbe mau
Adams, the inventor of tallium, lite all three sources proved them to be
you expect to marry, Letitia? 1 Would them into the dining room, some wear­ Interposes between them and the en­ greatest discovery in the metals of the Identical In composition, and liicredull
not give my life Into the keeping of ing from the undlmiuished pungs of trance to the nest.
age. Adams was confident that a metal ty us to their meteoric origin began
curiosity an expression as if they were
A setter dog was noticed to turn nnd could be produced which, although us to give way.—Notes and Queries.
an utter stranger.”
bite itself, whimpering with pain, just hard as steel, was only half its weight
“You needn't be uneasy about me. being led to instant execution.
Miss Letitia was the life of the par­ as the party were sitting down to a and price, mid after live years' experi­
Kcrentrlcitle«
K iik II n I i .
He is a very pleasant man, und I'm
There is n new maid in the family,
positive we will get on very well to­ ty, and the theory that she had been shooting luncheon by the side of a menting with an electrical process tal­
gether. As for love, we are not young jilted did not gain ground. Her ex­ wood In Yorkshire. The dog, being lium was the result. The invention a Swedish girl, who has many things
people and have said nothing about planation was accepted as true as far tired, had laid down on the hole of a was taken up throughout America, and besides language to learn, says an ex­
that, but we will do well enough as as It went. More than one face became wasps' nest, and live or six of the yel­ orders for thousands of tons of the change. Her new mistress, who is a
low Insects were stinging It at once, metal began to pour in from the lead­ young wife with a busband many
friends. Did you notice that black und blank when Miss Letitia said:
"Jennie, be sure to come around to­ but they did not touch the persons sit­ ing railway companies.
years lier senior, is trying to instruct
gold visiting silk, Jennie?”
Mrs. Jeuuie perceived that tlie bride morrow and help me pack those pres­ ting close by.—Spectator.
But It was too late. The enormous her. One of the lessons was upon
to be preferred to talk about her ents. Some are so valuable I will not
mental strain he had undergone, bread, the girl being told that she
N hv I iik : the Money,
clothes Instead of the man she had be satisfied until they are returned.
coupled with the sensation of llnding should speak of bread which had lost
In a certain parish in Scotland col­ millions within his grasp, took away Its freshness as stale, and not old. The
promised to tnarry and made no other Fortunately all are labeled.”
"1 will come with pleasure, Letitia,” lectors were going round soliciting con­ Ids reason, and he was contined In an girl was sure to remember this, for
effort to drag him into tlie couversa*
tlon. Miss Xetitla brought every artl- replied Mrs. Alden, while Mrs. Ponson- tributions for the kirk. On coming to asylum. He left no records to explain she was quick to learn, mid she did.
cle for Mrs. Jennie’s inspection and liy whispered dolefully, “If she would a wretched little hovel they hesitated the process, and no nmount of per­ So the young wife knew when a few
whether or not to enter, but finally de­ suasion drew the secret from him. days later th«* maid remarked to her
ask me.”
said as that lady rose to go:
Early next morning Mrs. Jennie ac­ cided to "try their luck.” A bale ohl Which perished locked tip in his brain confidentially:
“Do stuy to lunch. I've so much to
“It is too bail, isn’t It, that your
tell you yet. I want It understood that cordingly put In her appearance, find­ man greeted them, and to him they ex­ when two years later he died a help­
husband I m so much more stale than
I meant what I said when 1 wrote on ing her friend in exceedingly good spir­ plained tlielr errand, but lie really had less lunatic.—London Tit-Bits.
nothing to give them, he said.
you are!”—Detroit Free Press.
the cards I didn't want presents. Please its.
“Can't yo gi'e up your whisky?” one
While tying up a gaudy plated cake
make my friends understand that, will
Believe» In the Theory.
Prelliulnnvy.
you? I know they will want to give stand, n gift from Mrs. Ponsotiby, Mrs. of the visitors asked. “No,” lie said,
"Somebody advances the Idea that
“I don't drink ‘wliusky.’ ” Perhaps there nre words that affect us Just as
The policeman heard high wordsand
me presents. You can’t know bow Alden said:
pok«*d Ids head in tin* door.
“Letitia, why return the presents? then he could forego the pleasures of certain colors do.”
glad I am that 1 am liked, Jennie.”
"What's goin’ on here?" In* demand
Miss Alden would not shake Miss Le­ Were you in earnest when von said snuff. No, he didn't use snuff.
"I dunno about the colors, but I'm
tiler«* was not much likelihood of there
The collectors prepared Io move on. pretty sure to froth at the mouth ts •d.
titia's faith In the professions of friend­
being a marriage?”
"Stop a bit!" « fled tlie old fellow. "1 every time I bear 'line’s busy.”’—
"Nawtliln’! Nnwttiln' at all," answer­
ship she believed sincere, but when
Miss Letitia wits bending over the pay Sandy, the barber. twop<*n«'e every
ed one of the belligerent Irishmen in
tlieir spiteful comments were recalled
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
bed. replacing n handsome silver Indie Saturday night for shaving me. Tell
the middle of the floor. “There's naw
It angered her afresh with them.
the meenister he can have the two
tilin’ goin’ oil, but there's a tight com
Invisible.
“I am always at home to give Alyn In Its velvet box.
Th«* constrained position may linve p«*ne<* If lie'll come and shave nu* him-
Briggs (sariisyitleully)—That was a In' off in liss than a minute If ye'll only
his lunch. He does not enjoy it when
self!"
been the cause of her heightened color.
keep movin’." Chicago Post.
beautiful, line hors«* you sold me.
I am absent, Letitia. 1 shall let It be
Griggs—Wasn’t he? As I said, not a
known that you do not wish presents.” Iler face ns she turned townrd Mrs.
After tbe Dance.
llr lln«l tu Dlr.
blemish on him.
For that purpose Mrs. Jennie drove Alden wore conflicting expressions—
“1 hope you have enjoyed the even
“If you refuse me,” cried Moody,
“No.
All Inside.” — Detroit Free
back by the church, where she found triumph, shame and over all n half
Ing, Miss Oliver.”
“my Idood will be upon your head. I
Press.
the society dispersing. She did not sad, half defiant, look. Her first words
“Not excessively, Mr. Roland. The
wcr<*
apparently
irrelevant.
cannot live without you!”
alight, but told them of Miss Letitia's
“I’ve leitrr •<! milch. Jennie,” she said men are such wretched dancers. 1
"Well, self preservation Is the first
A man talks knowingly of the Incon­
wish. She of the sharp tongue gave it
ns she folded n dozen tine thread cam­ have had only out! really good part
shrill little cackle and said:
stancy of Women and then proceeds to law of nature,” rcplieil Miss Cooley.
tier.”
"That means we must give them bric handkerchiefs nnd placed them
get mail if one of them proves he is 'I simply couldn't live with you.” -
"My own experience precisely.”
with
lingering
regret
in
the
costly
box
I 'hiladelphlu l’rews.
without fall. She's afraid we won't
right.—Chicago Newa.
“Yes, Mr. Van Twister is the best
give anything and takes that means they came In. “How exquisite these
How Tract
nre nnd Ilk«* the donor! Oh, yes, I was dancer 1 ever saw. Then* lie goes now
to make sure.”
Watch On ner*» Pride.
“Say. Jinks, where Is thnt flue gold
“Was that the reason you had ‘No saying how mill'll I had learned since with Grace Turner. It Is a pleasure to
“Then you do not regard him as
Watch you used to s|s>rt? I see now
flowers’ on the cards when your daugh­ I had sent out those tickets. I’ve al­ watch them. Isn’t It?”
trustworthy?”
"Yes; he does very nicely with a
ter graduated? Letitia’s bouqm t wits ways had a too eonlldlng disposition,
“I should not go so far ns to say he lint you’re wearing a plain affair In n
weighted with n Jeweled butterfly. So nnd. while I'm not now a cynic, I've partner like your friend Grace. She is not trustworthy, but he Is the kind ih-kel plated case.”
is the one to whom I was referring of man who will set Ids watch nt 11:3o
"Well, you know, 'circumstances nl
gliul you enlightened nte. I have won­ had eye openers, plenty of them.
er ciises.'” Baltimore American.
"Going nlsiut to different stores, rid­ Just now.”
dered why thnt clause was Inserted,
o'clock
and
then
cull
your
attention
to
“So I supposed.”—New York Herald.
but had uo Idea It meant exactly oppo­ ing windy days, veiled, on the cars, has
the manner in which it keeps time
Annurrd Approval.
site wlint it said. Thanks to you I given me nil Insight Into people's char­
when the 12 o'clock whistle blows.”
Dolling Them Soft.
•'The singer has made great strides
understand. It is never too late to acter that has been both painful nml
Washington Star.
Mrs. Newlywed—These eggs are still
In th»* profe»slun. hasn't she?”
learn wisdom. Good morning, I must profitable. I needn't tell you whom I
Petitions and address«*» to tin* sov­
"Yes, Indeed. Formerly, when she
mean, for I see you know. I have no hard. How long did you boil them?
go home.”
ereign or to members of the houses of revelled an encore, she sang; now she
New Cook—Five minutes, ma'am.
The extreme good nature of this regret for them. I'm not n sentimental
Mrs. Newlywed-Well, next time give parliament, If not over two | h > uih I b I ii usually smiles.”—Town and Country.
speech made the cll<|ite stare nt one fool. The only regret Is self contempt
them ten minutes.—New York Press. I weight, are exempt from postage.
another. They were never sure wlint that I've been taken in by them so
L
-«
I >
< i
A New Hampshire Judge has In his
possession the following letter sent to
him by au old farmer who bud been
notided that he had been drawn us a
Juror for a certain term of court:
"Dear .ledge: 1 got your letter tollin'
me to come to Manchester an' do dooty
on the Joory, an' I write you these fue
lines to let you know that you'll have
to git some one else, for it ain't so
that I klu leave home now. I got to
do some butcherin', an' sort over a lot
of apples Just about the lime the joory
will be settin’ In your court. Si Jack­
man of this town says that lie would
as stain ns not go, for lie ain't nothin'
«•1st* to do Jess now. so you better send
ter him. 1 bate the worst way not to
oblldge you. but it ain't so I kin at
present. Ennyliow, I ain't much on
tlie law, never havin' been a jooryma ti
'ceptin' when old Bud Stllea got killed
by the cars here some years ago wben
1 was one that set on tlie Ixiildy with
the koroner. So you better send tor SI
Jackman, for lie has got some kin In
inanehester he wants to visit ennyliow,
ail' he'd be willin' to go for Ids car
fare there an' back. Ancer back If you
want Si.” Lippincott's.
A Mutter of I' miii II)
“Prisoner, have j«>u anything to Bay
why tin* sentenc«* of death Hlioiihl not
be passed upon you?”
"A f«*w words, my lord. I 11111 thirty
years of age."
"Well?"
"Your elder brother is u physician.”
"This is Impertinent anil ii < eleviint.”
"It tuny sound so, my bird, but it
means life or death to me. I under­
stand that you tuki* n great priile in
tin* phenomenal success of your broth­
er?”
"1 do. but what possible bearing can
that have upon your ease?"
"Simply this: Your brother, th«* d-ic
tor, examined tin* a year ago mid pre
dieted that I would live ut least twen­
ty years more. It would certainly un­
dermine Ills reputation as a scientist
shoiihl I dl<* before that tlm«*." 1.011
don Answers.
In Alsace recently a four year-old
child, the daughter of a workingman,
became very ill on«* day. but speedily
recovered, and for some days after­
ward dismayed her parents by eating
a good deal more than a child of that
age is wont to eat.
Instead, however, of growing fatter,
tlie girl grew thinner, and doctors who
were summoned to attend her were un­
able to explain why th«* food did her
no good. Finally tlie riddle was solved,
for a serpent about twenty Inches In
length Issued one morning from the
child's mouth.
The serpent was killed and sent to
the University of Strassburg, nml since
then th«* little on«* has enjoyed excel­
lent health. It is supposed that the
child swallowed the serpent while
drinking some impure water.
Ilulterflten That Fly lllah.
in
PAPERS
MOFFITT
S10WNF
CARO STOCK
...Ntriivv und Binder»' Boned...
aa-a f-.Ml-UI Ftr»t Str«*et
Tel. Muta USI.
4-.'
SAN FRANCISCO.
Six Physicians
Said Diabetes.
Bright'» OltteaHc und Diabete»
Arc Positively Curable,
John A. Pbdps, of the Hotel Kepelier, 7bl
Sutter street, un okl-lline Suu Fruucisco bu»i«
uess iuuu , interviewed December 21, IU0I:
Q It is hurd ft»r people to believe Hrlgtit’s
Disease und Diabeies ure curable. Will you
let us ment ion your case ?
A.—You max. I've tokl many about it.
Q. Did physicians declare it Diabetes!
A.—A half <lo 1 n did.
r three yearn I d©-
clined Nteudiiy till tluully 1 had to sell my
buslueNN. 'I he last doctor thought I’d live only
about six weeks and advised me to struigbleu
out my 'atTalrs.
Q -llovv soon did v<>u liegin to mend under
the Fultou Coin|M>undN ?
A. Tlie Npeuiile : :t\ilysoou began to drop,
but II was tiearlv u yt ar before I was perfectly
sound
tj Did anv whom \on told of it take it T
A Several cast « of Diabetes and Hrltfht’s
Disease, upon li«-ai'in ■ my experience, took it
ami recovered.
Q Can von reuall the names f
A. I don't like to mention them without
their penuiaiiiou Outwits a trend m Oolltn*
wikh I, Ohio, who was pensioned <»fT by his com-
pau.v as incurable
He recovered. Another
was thut of a well to do lady in this city, who
was al-o given up by her physicians. She is
now perfect Iv well
Q W hat <lo\ou think now of the curability
of chrotile Bri.-lit Disease uthl Diabetes!
A - I have known for several years thut they
are curable
Q But the l>ooks sny that they are uot!
A. Certainly they do. and f r that reason
many will not at lirst believe it, but they will
gradually.
Medleul works livree licit llru-ht's In-v-ase
and liialH'ien are hicuraUle. bill s; per cent are
I hh III ic I v recovering under the Hullen Com
IHiunds (Common terms <>f kidney complaint
and rheumatism offer but short resistami«!.)
Price, tl fur l lie llrighl's Disease and fl SO for
the Ihubellc Collll'onmt John .1 l-'ullou Co,
l.-u .Molliciuiier> st , San Frulii-i co, sole oom*
pounders l-’rce te-.ls made tor putieulH. De-
ncrlptlve pamphlet mailed free.
SoflenliiH tlie Blow.
The cashier of a certain flrm had ab-
s< oniled, and tin* staff' of clerks were
deciding on a tit ami proper person to
acquaint tin* ln*n«l of tlie tirm of the
fact on his arrival.
Ultimately tin- matter was left In
the hands of t h«* head ch*rk, possibly
b«*cause non«* of the oth«*rs cared to un-
di*rtak«* tin* r«*sp«mslbility.
There had been a «logtigIit In tbe
street, and a small crowd was Just <lis-
persing as the eliief’s carriage dashed
up.
"What's
demamled
Tlie chief clerk thought he recog­
nized a chance of breaking the news
gently mid seizeil it.
"The vacancy, sir." In* replied.
“Vai-an<-y? What vacancy?”
"<'ashler, sir.”
“But we want no cashier, Jorklns.”
"Beg pardon, sir; but we’ve a vacan­
cy for one!”
"Jorklns. nr«* yon mad?"
“No, sir. That Is, sir. 1 don't know,
sir. Fact Is, sir all the cash Is gone
mid and"
"Well?"
“The cashier's
From the way the old man took it
the clerk thought lie might Just as well
have blurted it out at tin* start.
Both I ii the Himalayas and in the
Andes butterflies have been found at
heights ranging up to IG.U imi feet, and
In th«* Alps they ure quite common at
I),(MM) feet. The very highest elevation
so far observed is 1G,G2G feet, where
they were found by M. Bonpland on
the slopes of Chimborazo. Sir J. D.
Hooker found butterflies oil the slopes
of the Himalayas nt about the same
height. He speaks of “the amazing
quantity of superb butterflies, many
large tropical swallowtails, black, with
a scarlet eye on the wings.” The South
Foll«*«l by Humidity.
American high flying butterflies be­
Noiselessly, but with all Ids might,
long to the family of Colla «Uniera, the
Asiatic that of the l'ieris eallidlee. the burglar tugged at tin* bureau
The explorer, Sir Martin Conway, also dra wer.
In vain.
found them at high altitudes in the
It refused to open.
Himalayas,
I le tugged again.
A KI»» and a Bite.
“Give it another Jerk," snlil a voice
Iu Ills volume, “The Kiss and Its behind Idin.
History,” Dr. Christopher N'yrop of the
The burglar turned.
University of Copenhagen relates that
The owner of tin* house was sitting
In England in 1S37 Thomas Saveland up In bed and looking at him with an
brought an action against Miss Caro­ expression of tlie d«*«*pest interest on
line Newton, who had bitten a piece Ills face.
out of Iris nose for Ids having tried
“Jerk It again. There's a lot of valu-
to kiss her by way of a Joke. Th«* de­ able property in that lirawer, but we
fendant was acquitted, und the Judge haven't been able to open It since the
laid it down that "when n mini kisses dump weather began. If you can puli
a woman against her will she is fully It out, 1’11 give you a handsome royalty
entitled to bite liis nose if she so on everything that's”—
pleases.”
But the burglar hml jumped out
“And ent it up. if she has a fancy through the window, taking a part of
that way,” added a jocular barrister the sasli witli him. Chicago Tribune.
half aloud.
Ili-linrih^l In Different M n> ».
Why He Ckaasrd HI» Mind.
“I tell you, sir, civil service is a great
thing.
The man addressed looked aston­
ished.
"Coming from any one but you. that
remark would not greatly surprise me,”
lie said. “You didn't think so when 1
last saw you.”
"No, I didn’t.”
"You considered civil service little
short of a civic curse.”
"That's right. But then I was on
the outside and trying to get In. while
now I mu on the Itisld«' and trying to
Btny In. It makes a great difference.”
— Brooklyn Eagle.
A Hrarttr«» Interruption.
A young Parisian, noted for Ids grace
nnd readiness as a second in many
duels, was asked by a friend A> ac­
company him to the mayor's ottici* to
nttlx Ids signature as a witness to tlie
matrimonial registry, lie consented,
but when the seen«* was reached for­
got himself. Just ns the mayor was
ready for the last formalities he broke
out: “Gentlemen, cannot (Ids affair
be arranged? Is then* no way of pre­
venting this sad occurrence?”
That one can obtain more favors by
“Jollying” tlimi by being brusque is
Just as true ns “one cun catch more
flies with molasses than witli vinegar.”
Two young men have lived In a
boarding house In West Twenty-third
street for sonii* time, mid one has the
reputation of being a "jollier,” while
the other Is quick spoken and of a
bearish disposition. Th«* young men
are friends mid usually breakfast to­
gether. Their respective stmidliigs In
th«* estimation of tlie dining room
mil id may be Judged from the way in
which that damsel shouted tlieir order
—both had reqtmsted steaks down tlie
dumb waiter shaft recently:
“A nlc«* beefsteak, a trifle rare, for
Mr. W Mid; some meat for Baldwin.” -
New York Tribune.
Very Simple.
A rather simple looking lad halted
before a blacksmith's shop on his way
home from school and eyed the doing*
of the proprietor with much Interest.
The brawny smith, dissatisfied with
tlie boy's curiosity, held a piece of red-
hot iron suddenly under tin* youngster's
nose, hoping to make hiln beat a hasty
retreat.
“If you'll give me half a dollar. I'll
nomemadP Barometer,
A convenient barometer for the lick It," said the lad.
Tlie smith took from his pocket half
kitchen may be made with an ordi­
nary glass Jam Jar and an old oil a dollar and held it out.
Tlie simple looking youngster took
flask. Fill the jar three parts full of
water, and nfter cleaning the Mask the coin, licked it and slowly walked
place It In the Jar neck downward, away whistling. Chums.
The rising of the water In the flask
The DI« n > Ilnl»|<* Scot.
will Indicate flue weather, Unsettled
Tlie
difficulty
of rhyming to “girl” is
weather will la* foretold by the sink
mainly du«* to tin* varieties of its pro­
Ing of tlie water.
nunciation. It is never pronounced, as
It is ho often conventionally written,
When the Cat Wn» larrrtl.
Ill the middle ages brute animals "gall." but one often hears "gell." with
formed as prominent a part In the de a liaril "g." Moreover, in Reothind,
vollonal ceremonies of the time as they though it Is ns well not to mention the
had In the old religion of Egypt. The fact to a Seotsniaii, it consists of two
cat .Elurus was embalmed after death syllables "gurrel." The other day it
and btirleii In the city of Hubastls be­ was iHilnted out to a Scotsman that
cause, according to Henslotus, I Haun tin* name of his national |»««*t was a
Hubastls. the chief dirty of tile place, dissyllable In Ayrshire. “Hoot awa'l”
was said to have transformed herself he said, or words to that effect. “Bur-
Into a cat when the gods tied luto runs two syllables! Absurrud!”—Lon­
don Chroulele.
Egypt
J