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About Bandon recorder. (Bandon, Or.) 188?-1910 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 28, 1902)
----------------- _> POLLY LARKIN | Tlwre are others who feel the same Way alsiut this cruel treatment of ani mals, and they have interested them selves to the extent that San Francisco Why Fire Make ( » Blush, is to have a new and unique organiza When one stands before a hot Are, tion in the Animals’ Home Associa the face becomes red. as v all k now. tion, ai.d Miss Maud Smith has lieeu This result is the effect of the a “ Tis passing strange" how many elected president. They have obtained of radiated beat on the r people w ho claim to be tender-hearted permission from the Society for the trolling the small blood ves and tilled with compassion for their Prevention of Cruelty to Animals to Bkln. These tiny vessels ai dumb friends, the animals, can go ott' occupy a corner of tlie Animals’ Home, In a state of moderate < Under exjsisure to heat they relax and summer after summer for weeks and until lately used as the public |siund. become distended with blood. The months at a time and leave their cats The association w ill undertake to care same process, under the mysterious to starve or eke out a miserable exis connection of the vasomotor nerve sys tence by foraging on their neighls>rs, for sick and abandoned animals, rang ing from the smallest canary bird to tern with mental Impressions, produces who seldom want to Is* Istthered by the biggest Nt. Beruai<1 dog, and to ordinary blushing. In regard to ex DoubtleMM they Isiard fora moderate charge family pets posure to direct beat the reddening of somebody else's pets. the skin, together with tlie uncomfort have cat» of their own and all they can during their owners’ alisence from ably warm feeling accompanying it. well feed, so w hen the poor, half-starved town. To raise funds to assist in carry may be looked upon us one of the use eat comes prowling around it meets ing on their gtssl work the ladies will ful little “danger signals” with which with a <«>ld reception and is driven give rummage sales and other enter we are surrounded. from house to house. The cat that was tainments. It is safe to say that all Persons who from any cause have once petted and made much of by the lovers of animals will patronize these lost their susceptibility, as Is the case niemliers of the family, ami whose coat entertainments. At its last monthly In some forms of paralysis, may ex w as us smooth as velvet, is now a target meeting tlie Animals' Society reported pose a limb to heat until serious in for all the boys in the neighborhood, 207 complaints investigated during tlie jury results. The reason that the face chiefly flushes is that, in the ordinary who delight in stoning and setting the month of June, involving 411 animals, position near a tire, it Is most directly dogs on him. It becomes as wild as a 2'10 of which were relieved; seven cases exposed to the rays of heat, while March hare, and if it survives, when were prosecuted, with two convictions most of tin1 body Is shielded by doth the family return home they find poor and two cases pending: li*> remedied Ing: that the nerves of the face lire I ussy an amaciatcd and woe-tiegone without prosecution, 129 warnings is particularly sensitive in this respect cat, possibly recovering from a broken sued, seven animals removed in the and that the akin there is more abun leg and many wounds. It is a cruel ambulance, 111 taken from work, and dantly furnished with blood vessels. shame, and Pol y has not much pa flfty-tliree horses killed. This is a good tience with people who turn their Jiets siiowing for the association, and it has II uko anti the Harber. When Victor Hugo lived in Paris. In out to die or pick up any kind of a living. reaped its fruits in a very satisfactory the Place Royale, he used to tie shaved way, for it lias made hitherto cruel ami » » » » by u barber named Brassier. A friend relentless owners much more humane Every now and then you llnd wheie of the poet asked the barber one day in the treatment of their animals. They If he was busy. “1 hardly know which - ime one lias turned out a horse to die. are mortally afraid of this association, way to turn.'' was the reply. "We have They have served their masters faith to dress the hair, of thirty Indies for fully, drawn the heavy loads that and well they may be, for they will soirees and bulls.” And M. Brassier strained every muscle in their tired show as little mercy to them as tliey showed the list to his friend. A few bodies, taken the unmerciful lash that have shown to the helpless anima’s tliey unfortunately own. I.et the gissl duys after the friend returned and in left great welts on their backs when qulred about the thirty Indies. “Ab, work go on. 1 should like to see such monsieur,” said tlie burlier sadly, “1 their strength gave completely out and an organization iu every city and town. was not able to attend half the num tile heavily laden wagon refused to » * » » ber, and I have lost many good cus budge and all the other abuse heaped “ Dorritt Little, ” transposed, ' Little towers through M. Victor Hugo.” I t upon him, and now that their days of appears that the poet when about to usefulness are passed they are be Dorritt”: Your question in the query be shaved was suddenly inspired and grudged the hay that would keep box arouses my interes' and sympathy. seized the first piece of paper be could them and are turned adrift to die on You have given up your life for the find to write n poem. Hugo hastily the road. 1 have seen these old worn- family since your mother’s death ten left the shop with his unfinished verses, years ago. Now that you have a step on the back of which were the names out horses that were turned out on the mother, would it lie selfish for you to roadside come up at nightfall and lisik and addresses of the thirty ladles, accept the gisid position otl'ered you? many of whom waited in vain fur their w istfully over the gate at their owners is they went about feeding the other No; Polly would advise you to accept coiffeur. horses, trying in every way to attract it, particularly as you and your step Billy nice and u Pin. their attention, and it has seemed to mother are not congenial. Billy Rice, negro minstrel, used to Folly that their hearts must lie made of tell the story of a man who picked lip BRIEF REVIEW. •cone to turn a deaf ear to the poor, a pin as be was leaving the office of n wornout horse. “ Verily, this Is a re great merchant, after an unsuccessful First Conquest of the Hermit Kingdom. ward for long and faithful service," I quest for work. Seventeen centuries ago tlie Japanese The merchant, Beeing the mini's uc bave said to myself over and over again. tlon from the window, called him buck I hey had better given them a good din Emperor ('Imai was playing a lute in and gave him employment, which kind ner of grain or turned them into a Held the presence of his wife and Prime Min ness he repaid by becoming owner of of clover, then when the time came ister. Whether on account ofthemusic the entire business in an incredibly they could not keep them, send a bul or from some other cause, the Empress short time. let swift and sure into some vital spot liecame Inspired wita a divine afliatus Billy used to end bls ,nd end their suH'erings, Thia would and liegan to utter the thoughts put in Ing that ( iv tried that when lie was looking for work,dropping have been tar more kind to Polly’s way to her mind by tlie Deity. “There is a I md to the west ward,” she exclaimed, a pin carefully on the floor as lie en of thinking. “and in that land isaliundanceoi treas tered. He stated Ills wants to the pro » » *■ » prietor, who not only bud no employ ure, gold and silver, dazzling to look But with an eye to business the past upon. This land I will now bestow up meat to offer him, but remarked to his partner as Rice picked up the pin: few year», parties having old anil de on you.” The Emperor pushed away “Say, If that fellow's so small us to crepit horses have sold t hem so ranch his lute. “If you go up to a high place steal a pin off the floor, bow much do ers for chicken-feed. More’s the pity and look toward tlie west,” lie said, you tbluk he'd leave in my till?'' that such a noble anima) as the horse “there is no land to lie seen, but only vlmulil have so ignominious an ending. I lie great waters. They are lyingspirits Origin of Kilts. It will doubtless surprise many Not long since a gentleman passed in who are talking to you.” Then the Scotchmen to learn that the kilt as nt the neighborhood of a dozen worn- god was filled with anger, and again he present worn is only a modern fancy out old horses, all ready for shipment moved the Empress to prophesy. “You costume and is not of Scottish origin to a distant town to be slaughtered for are not fit,” she said, "to rule this em at all. chicken-feed. They were hungry and pire. Go the one road.”. But the The honor of its invention is duo to thirsty and had simply gnawed ot! tlie Prime Minister trembled when heheaid two Englishmen an army tailor who accompanied General Wade's forces to wood of tlie post they were tied to. these words, and he said to his master, Scotland in 1710 and Thomas Rawlin "That looks like a horse that once be “I am troubled, my heavenly sovereign, son, overseer of some iron winks in longed to me and that I sold to a man by this terrible message. Continue 1 Glengarry's country. For more than who owns some of the best racing stock pray, to play the lute.” The Emperor a century previously, indeed, tlie tar in the State. He won several races.” Chua commenced to play softly; gradu tan plaid bail been tlie common garb lie called his name and the old horse, ally the sound died away, ami all was of the highlanders, but it was all In broken in spirit and body, answered one piece, wound in folds around the with a whinny and tried to reach bls still. They held a light to his face and saw that he was dead. But the Em body, leaving the knees bare. >ld master. The air reverberated fora press put herself at the head of her fleet, Prior to the adoption of tlie tartan, which probaldy took place about tlie few minutes with remarks that were invaded the land of gold and silver with close of the fifteenth century, the long, not complimentary to the ones whom tier warriors, and soon made the three loose saffron colored skirt, tlie real he had sold his pet to, and after caress kingdoms of Korea tributary to Japan. “garb of old Gaul,” was the highland ing the p<s»r fellow for a.few minutes These* things happened, we are told, in dress,— London Mail. he hunted up the parties who had pur tlie year 201 A. 1)., and tlie story of the chased the lot of horses for chicken valiant empress is as familiar to a Jap MTIIImn Block's Joke. feed and gave him five dollars for the On one occasion when William Black, animal, and as he walked of!’ leading anese as is that of Boadicea to ourselves. the novelist, and liis wife were to sup tlie horse that could barely stagger The Water Clock. with Mary Anderson in her room at the Lyceum he got access beforehand from starvation and abuse, his eyes One of the oldest types of clocks in to the supper room, famous as the were tilled with tears and he condemned the world marks the flight of time in a meeting place of the old Beefsteak the men bitterly who could be so heart Chicago barber shop. It is run by wa club, and pasted over the labels of the less. The poor old horse was stabled ter powerand keepsacurate time. There champagne bottles n paper bearing In and well fed and picked up rapidly, re is no means of accurately determining large letters the one word "Poison!” gaining much of his fine appearance in It happened on this occasion that, un his palmy days, and while he would tlie age of the clock, which excites amusement and ridicule. Archimedes, known to Black. Mary Anderson was never speed his way around a race who was born in Syacuse 287 B. C., is entertaining a number of guests with whom she was but slightly acquainted, course again, In- was destined in his old believed to have made the first water so that the Joke turned out to lie some age to travel leisurely around in the clock; the last, it-is said, was made in what embarrassing. It must have giv country home of hi old master, being Europe during the year 1360. Some en the strangers, who knew Black only the tried and faithful driving-horse of where between these two dates the by repute, something of a shock to dis the family. “When he is too old for clock in Basset’s shop was made. I ts cover liow very boyish he was under that then he shall die in clover,” says owner knows little of it or its history. his cold outward demeanor. his owner. This gentleman, after he It has been In Ins family over 400 years. had seen that tlie old race-horse was His Little Bill. taken care of, continued his good work. Mrs. Belinda Beil Adams of Warrens "The senator from New Jersey re minds me of one of those ferocious He hunted up tlie proper authorities ville, O., born in 1811, is still living in Newark mosquitoes." 1 heard her re and told them of tlie starving horses the house to which she went as a bride mark to a gentleman by tier side witli that had liven tied up for hours with in 1820. eyeglasses and tliln hair In one of the out food or water. Tlie result was that The KingofSiam owns an army corps senate galleries. five horses were condemned, taken off “How so?” queried tlie man. pelting and killed and their bodies taken to the of 500 elephants, all well trained for his ear closer to her and looking as If crematory, and a bale of hay and plenty military purposes and under command be expected something real brilliant. of water were given to tlie others. Polly of a general. “Because he seems to be forever wishes w ith all her heart that-the world The man who is suspicious lives in a pushing Ills little bill."- Yonkers States were filled with just such noble-hearted constant state of unhappiness. Better man. men, who would go out of their way to for Ills peace of mind to lie too trustful Flgnres Don't Lie. minister to the wants of dumb animals. than too guarded. Brown —You only fifty! That’s n « « « « good one! What bright things we all think of White—My daughter says she Is only Not long since I saw a beautiful can when the opportunity is past for say twenty-six, and she was born two ary flying about in the bushes of a worn ing them. years after I was married, and I was au's yard. Thinking her canary had married nt twenty-two. Figure It out An Irishman says he always shuts escaped, I stepped to her door and told for yourself. —Boston Transcript. his eyes when he lisiks at a lady’s faults. her aisiut it. “Yes, it is my bird,” she replied, “but I turned it out on pur Hrlckn and Mortar. When a man fools his wife, it is not Two Irishmen were arguing who was pose. It doesn't sing and I can’t tie that he is so smart, but that her faith the cleverer. bothered with a bird that does not pay "Well,” said Pat. "I'll bet you can’t for bis keeping any I letter than that. is so great. tell me what keeps bricks together.” The domestic fowl is not mentioned in He had tried to get into the window “Shure,” said Mike. “It’s mortar.” two or three times, but I didn't pay the Old Testament. “No,” said Pat: “you are wrong; that any attention to him.” “But he will keens them anart.” Italy has fifty factorfea of chemical starve or freeze to death, < anary birds fertilizers. A Fierce Threat. don’t know bow to take care of them Irish Maid — Do you want a good selves," I »aid. “I think |s>saliily some If you have diamonds, he thankful, beating. Master Jimmy, or do you not. body will take him in and think they but don’t hold them up to the eyes of because If you don’t behave yourself have got a great prize, and if they don't poverty in a street car. tills minute you'll get both? the cats will catch him before night,” Titanium Is the hardest metal. It It is such a mystery The superior man Is satisfied and she answered looks like copper, hut will scratch ris k how people can lie so heartless. I can ’ t composed; the mean man is always crystal. understand it for a moment. full of distress.—t’onfueius. BANDON RECORDER. t_________________ J. FOR NERVOUS FOLKS. Systematic- Heat, .tluxsae aud Frap- er Diet M ill Work Mender«. Schule, writing ou uieutal diseases, asks, "Is our civilization to ilauie for this neurotic condition?" anl the an swer is in the affirmative. How can nutrition prosper in the body where malnutrition holds full sway? And how can people be happy and healthy when worry dominates their lives? For in this human being the lower offi cers of the nervous hierarchy draw their very breath at the bidding of the higher powers, and the relation is ver ily reciprocal, for to keep tlie brain healthy the unconscious nervous func tions must In* kept In good shape, prop er activities alternating with wisely arranged periods of repose. Just as soon as one notices the ap- | roach of nervous irritability systemat ic nerve rest will shorten an attack, and by rest I mean to have the patient go to lied and have massage. The amount of exercise undergone iu a good seientitle massage is equal to s walk of two or three miles a day, and it goes without saying that sucli pas sive exercise should Increase the appe tite. mid the food Ingested and enjoyed will lie digested and assimilated. I use tlie word "enjoy” deliberately, because there are some nervous Invalids who cannot enjoy tlieir food unless tn soli tude. In addition to the massage I would recommend salt rubs, which are very easy to give. Have a saturated solution of common table salt. Rub tlie body briskly, especially from the spine outward toward the sides of the body and as soon as the skin is well reddened wasli off with moderately cool water, and the chances are all In favor of restful condition. In case per sons suffer from cold feet at night I would advise the bathing of the feet in cold water before going to bed and having a hot water bag always at hand. Lettuce, celery, spinach, onions, are all vegetables especially valuable to a person of nervous temperament, and milk hot or cold is invaluable.—Pil grim. SCIENCE SIFTINGS. The amount of blood In the human body is one-thirteenth of the body weight. Sound moves 1,142 feet per second, light 192,000 miles a second and elec tricity 288,000 miles a second. The rotation of a waterspout at the surface of tlie sea has been estimated us 354 miles an hour, or nearly six miles a minute. The sun's light is equal to 5,563 wax candles at one foot from the eye. It would take 800.000 full moons to equal cloudless sunshine. It is probable that the temperature of the moon's surface at its midday Is 750 degrees F. The drop at night is probably 1,000 degrees, to 250 degrees below. Vesta Is the only one of the smaller planets which can be seen with the na ked eye. Its diameter is only 300 miles mid its whole surface but one-ninth I but of Europe. Crystallized nitrogen is one of the greatest chemical curiosities. By cool ing nitrogen gas down to 367 degrees below tlie freezing point and then al lowing it to expand solid, snowlike crystals are formed. A Glffantic Goddexa of War. In the Japanese capital there is a gi gantic image of a woman made of wood, iron and piaster. The time of its erection and the name of its designer are In dispute, but It is known to have been dedicated to Hachiman, the god of war. In height it measures fifty- four feet, the head alone, which Is reached by a winding stairway In the Interior of the figure, being capable of holding a company of twenty persons. The goddess holds a sword in her right hand and a huge painted wooden ball in the left. Internally tlie statue is the finest anatomical model In existence, every bone, Joint and ligament being represented on a gigantic scale in pro portion to the height and general size of the huge tigure itself. The large eyes are magnifying glasses, through which a fine view of the surrounding country may be had. t’nlnjorrd Lion« Seldom ( h.r.r. Like every other animal, the lion tries to avoid man until wounded, and it is only in exceptional cases of there being young ones to guard or from as tonishment at seeing tlie hunters so close to them that they charge when being tracked They charge with tlie same coughing roar that a tiger does and come at great speed close to the ground, not bounding in the air, as they are repre sented in pictures. Their ears are pressed close to tlie head, giving them tlie comical appearance of being with out ears.—London Times. The Moat Exalted. “I.et me now,” said the chairman of tlie reception committee, “introduce to you tlie man who occupies tlie highest station in our community.” “Ah, pleased to meet you, sir,” said the distinguished foreigner. "May 1 ask what your business is?” “I am the weather observer.”—Chica go Record-Herald. Followed Their Motunl lient. "Those boys were alike as two peas, and 1 hear they’re much the same now.” “What busiuess are they In?" "One's a hypnotist, and t’other’s a commercial traveler."—Detroit Free Press. Even the Effort Count«. "I alius try to be a gentleman," said I'ucle Eben. "Mighty few people suc ceeds, but de fact dat anybody's mak- ln’ de effort counts a heap to his cred it.”- Washington Star. GREWSOME INDIAN CHARM. II. l.o«« led the Iheyea«« Bravoa to Le»«» Marpath. HUMOR OF THE HOUR WASHINGTON LETTER Had aa Idea. [Special Correspondence.] “I have an idea,” suid the young man who is always having strange ideas, “as to how one cau tell which party to a npitrlmoiiial alliance has the brains, the ability, the force, by the children.” “Yes?” commented tlie other quietly. “Sure. Show me a family where all the children are boys, and I’ll show you ii man who is the forceful one—the brains of the family.” “Yes?” still quietly. "Dead certain! I've made a study of it I've looked up particular families. If you find all girls, the woman is real- l.v the bend of tlie family. She is the one who really manages things, al though she may be a quiet little wo man for all that.” "Yes?” He was really very meek. “By the way, you're married, 1 be lieve?” “Yes.” "Any children?” "Two. Both girls.” “Oh!” And then the conversation flagged. The residence portion of the White Of ail the grewsome things in the House is closed, and curpenters and National museum the necklace present decorators are at work on the Interior rd several years ago by Captain John of the historic old building. All tlie G. Burke of the United States army furniture lias been removed from the stands unequaled as a monument to east room, the blue room and the red Indian cruelty aud superstition. This necklace consists first of all of a long loom and placed in storage. In a few buckskin cord made by rolling up a days the greenhouse, located west ot large strip of skin and sewing it along the White House conservatory, will be the border so that thr >ughout Its en torn down to make way for the build tire length it will measure something ing which is to lie used as an office for over an Inch In circumference, or about tlie president. This building will be a third of an Inch In diameter. This completed as soon as possible, that cylinder of buckskill Is covered witli work may begin on the conversion ot beadwork so that no part of the skin Is the present offices in the White House exposed. The beads are sewed on in into rooms for the use of the presi rather tasteful patterns, the colors of which are white and blue. A thin buck dential household. skin string Is attached to either end of The details of the changes in the this thick, bead Incrusted cord, by White House have not been definitely means of which the cylinder Is tied agreed upon, but the plans have been about the tieck of the wearer. outlined by Architect McKim, aud the Hanging from the underside of this main features in the alterations have necklace and running throughout Its been made public. The basement por entire length are twelve human fingers tion of the house, which is now used and several small flint arrowbeads of only as a kitchen and laundry, is to peculiar shape and workmanship at be utilized. A large reception room tached by buckskin strings, in the Time to Cwt Her. middle of tlie necklace depend three will be arranged on that floor, and a “I must quit being seen with that small medicine bags made of the suitable entrance to the room will be Mrs. Flippleigh," she said. tanned hide or skin of human beings. "My dear.” her husband answered. provided at the east end ot the build These bags contain charm stones and "I'm glad to hear you say that. You ing. This entrance will be covered by other paraphernalia of the medicine know she's been divorced twice, and a portico and will be quite pretentious. man. really I don't believe her husbands One of the attractive features of the The human Angers, forming the most were altogether to blame." remodeled bouse will be a marble conspicuous feature of the necklace, "Oh. it isn't that so ranch, but 1 sus staircase to replace the old stairway are complete, having been cut off be pect that she trimmed the shirt waist which uow leads to the offices of tlie tween the middle Joint and the knuc and liât she wears herself.”—Chicago kle. Tliey have been dried In such president. Tlie uew stairway will ex maimer as to preserve their natural Record-Hera Id. tend from the reception room in tlie color, finger nails, etc., aud look as J oiim ' Idea. basement to the second floor. fresh as though they bad been re Diplomat« Seek the Seashore. moved only a few hours. The Austrian embassador has taken During General Crook's campaign a cottage at Bar Harbor, where be has against the Sioux and Cheyennes In passed the last three summers aud 1876 the Fourth cavalry and a detach where be and bis wife are leading ment of Indian scouts under Colonel R. members of the Washington colony. C. Mackenzie surprised and stormed There will be a large diplomatic con the chief town and principal strong tingent at Gloucester, cottages having hold of the Cheyennes. During or. been leased by the Peruvian. Argen rather, after this engagement one of tine and Bolivian ministers and by the Indian scouts. Baptiste Pouvier, Mr. del Viso. The oriental diplomats better known as Big Bat. entered the both seek the seashore, the Japanese lodge of the chief medicine man of the minister and Mme. Tukahira going to deserted village, and among other Cape May and Mr. and Mrs. Wu to At things that the medicine man bad over lantic City, of which resort both tlie looked in his hurried flight from the minister and bis wife are extremely town the scout found this curious neck fond, participating iu all the sports, lace. Big Bat gave the necklace to from bathing to daqdng. The rnluis Colonel Burke, who later turned It over to a student of Indian religions and su ter at least seeks a partner at the bo perstitions. and he In turn presented It tel hops, Mme. Wu’s tiny feet preclud to the National museum. ing such enjoyment. Subsequently something of the his The Major'« Btu Bass. tory of this necklace was learned. The One of Washington’s noted fishermen Ungers were those of famous enemies is Major Dick Sylvester, the superin Briggs—There goes Jones, the man tendent of police for Washington and noted for their superior courage and who married tlie widow and six chil bravery whom the Cheyennes had president of the National Association killed In battle during their various dren. of Chiefs of Police. Griggs But what Is he doing with wars, while the human skin of which The major went fishlug a few days the medicine bags were made w s also that enormous quantity of fireworks? ago and returned with a five pound Briggs — I guess he intends to get rid taken from the bodies of enem - s slain black bass, which he sent to the presi in battle. The necklace Is very old and of the six children. dent with his compliments. was looked upon by the Cheyennes as Two of the major’s friends heard of .Met III« M'aterloo. a thing endowed with miraculous pow tils catch aud asked about it a few "So that basebull umpire lias another ers. Prior to Its capture by Big Bat it days later when tliey were fishing Ht hud belonged to a famous medicine black eye?" the same place. They met a country “Yes.” mun of that tribe, who had never al boy and said. “Is there good fishing “How did he get it?” lowed any white man to lay eyes on It, up here?” “ By not sticking to his own business. and its loss put a very sudden and “Yep,” replied the boy, "it’s fair. abrupt end to the Cheyenne war. The He undertook to decide a dispute over Major Dick was up last week fishing.” Cheyennes tried hurd to get It back, a game of pingpong.”—Washington “He caught a five pound buss, I un offering a large sum of money and a Star. derstand,” observed one of the party, great many horses for its return, but "and gave it to the president.” It Smnilii»» 'Em All Alike. this was refused, and sluce then the “I dunno nothin' about bls giviu' it “ There ’ s a couple o ’ big coal soots on Cheyennes have remained at peace to the president,” tlie boy said, "but your face, Weary. ” with the whites.—Washington Post. “Don’t mind ’em. They’re th’ badges gran'pap, be caught the fish.” Social Secretaries Scarce. of a great industry, Limpy. I tell you, Hi« Calvlnlxed Hat. Wives of the cabinet ministers, who me boy, there's nothin ’ like soft coal “A generation or two ago,” said a already are preparing for next winter’s Boston clergyman, “old Dr. Ellis was for puttin' tli' human family on an social season, report that there is a re u well known tigure in Boston, being equality.”—Cleveland Plain Dealer. markable scarcity of young women in cue of our famous Unitarian ministers, Washington who are competent to The Genuine Panama. a friend of many of the transcen- serve as social secretaries. In fact, “Marla, where is my uew panama?” dentallsts. He used always to wear a "New? Why, that yellow and bent there are not enough to go half way white panama bat in summer. The around, and the cabinet ladies are iu same hat did him season after season, up hat didn't look like It was new.” despair because tliey know that tlie "Well, where is it?" yet It never seemed to lose any of its "Why, it looked so old I cut holes iu shortage means a repetition of tlie an flesh whiteness. guish and humiliation consequent lipou “One day a minister of the old per each side and made a bonnet for the blunders which followed them so re suasion and very pronounced in his mare.”—Chicago News. lentlessly all during last season. orthodoxy asked Dr. Ellis liow lie kept Didn't Hnrmonl»». The Boeial secretary is an important his hat ho white. "Haven't you read that lovely new personage iu Washington society. To “‘That is easy,’ said tlie doctor, ’for novel?” asked the first summer girl. l»e sure, she Is not much In evidence it has been Calvinized.' “No,” replied the other, “the only herself, but her handiwork Is seen ev “’What?’ said the other minister. editiou of it I've seen has a horrid yel erywhere. Tlie making out of tlie in 'How do you galvanize a hat?' “ ‘I said Calvinized,’ replied the Uni low cover that doesn’t accord with any vitation lists, the mailing of accept of my gowns.”—Philadelphia Press. ances or declinations and the other tarian. routine work connected with tlie social “ ‘But what do you mean by that?' Full Information. season is the small and unimportant “ ‘Dipped in brimstone,’ said Dr. El “Does your father rent that house, part of the social secretary's duties. lis.”—New York Tribune. young man?” She is expected to be a walking ency “No. He owns every bit of it. It's clopedia of information on tlie ins and Mackerel or Bonita t been bought and paid for and insured “Not one person in ten who order and mortgaged and everything.”—Chi outs of Washington society. This in formation she deals out to her em Spanish mackerel at the average res engo American. ployer as necessity requires. taurant ever gets it,” »aid a Washing ton market fish dealer. “Spanish mack erel are a good deal like Mocha coffee or canvasback duck, because it's very difficult to get the genuine article and so easy to fool customers. “Some of the fashionable restaurants are not above serving a bonita now and then when an order comes for Spanish mackerel, and I know that in the cheaper restaurants striped bass, bonl- tas, weakfish and sometimes even the common mackerel are served for this delicious dish.”—New York Herald. Cow» M'orae Than Bull«. It Is said that the Spanish bullfighter refuses to face a cow, as being so much more dangerous. A bull makes a blind rush at his assailant, and this a little knowledge and experience will soon en able an active man to avoid, but a cow fences with her horns with a skill and quickness unexpected in such an appar ently clumsy animal, and a man must be active indeed who can avoid the re peated attacks of an angry cow. The bull, ill a state of nature, tights to obtain the mastery of the herd and not to kill, but the cow only to protect her offspring, and, in her case, there is no quarter given. It would not be to the advantage of the herd that tlie bulls should kill each other In determining which was the stronger, and therefore they do not use their horns as lethal weapons, but it is, on the other hand, greatly to the advantage of the calves, and so of the future of the herd, that all enemies that dare to attack them should be slain. XV ho'« a LoliMterf Knocked In the Head. Blobbs—Going to take a vacation this summer? Slobbs—I’m afraid I won't be able to afford it. You see. I’m thinking of buy ing a panama hut.—Philadelphia Rec ord. The Preealllnit Erase. Tlie uew arrival looked at the halo banded to him and shook his head. “Haven’t you any of panama straw?" he asked.—Chicago Post. Good at a Pinch. Ethel—Would you consider Percy Monckton a good catch? Madge—Certainly, if all the others got away!—Tuck. A Fl.h Story. The wife of a uew congressman Is In- vnrlably careful In looking after her perquisites and sometimes makes her self ridiculous by overreaching. A cer tain Mrs. M. C.. bearing not long ago that It was the custom of the fish com missioner to distribute fish to repre sentatives In congress if they cared to have them, telephoned to the commis sion that she was giving a dinner par ty the uext day and would be much obliged if be would send up three large or six small lobsters. A polite reply to the effect that the fish commission was not a market, but that she could have a dozen goldfish for her aqua rium if th: would in any way con tribute to the success of the feast, was sent In repl.' to this request. An Electric “Wheel.” There Is a new form of gambling go Who taketh from a numskull's lips ing on In the bouse cloakrooms. For The surest kind of equine tips And on the loser plants his chips? merly the members played greenback The lobster. poker for drinks, but since the Instal lation of six pronged electric fans even At poker, when the draw's complete, Who murmurs, with a querying bleat, matching peonies bus become obsolete. “How many do four aces beat?” Each prong of the fan Is numbered, The lobster. aud the players each select a number. The player holding the number that Who, when a maid, all guileless, gay. Avers she’s fond of fizz frappe, falls opposite the upright support of Replleth, "Creature, hence away?" the fan “buys" for tlie entire party. The lobster. The game is very popular, but tlie Who every kind of duty hates. switches controlling the current are Yet, harassed by the adverse fates, about worn out by the constant turn Grinds out bad verse at workhouse rataat ing ou aud shutting off of the current. The lobster. —Town Topics ___ CARL SCHOFIELD. KmbarnMlnai A Hnnhnnd'« Epigram. Wa»blnflon Timber. A Missouri editor is responsible for She How many men owe their suc “Pennsylvania avenue at one time tlie assertion that at a recent church cess in life to tlieir wives? had trees down the center, I tielieve,” entertainment iu bis town the master He—And how many more men owe T'Be Boston Boy. was the remark I made to a George wf ceremonies made the announcement tlieir wives to their auccese In life?— “Lookin’ fer a bird's nest, sonny?” town man I met in a trolley car. that "Miss Bates will sing, ‘O That New York World. “Yes,” was the gentleman's reply, I Had an Angel's Wings That 1 Might asked the good natured westerner of seven-year-old boy whom lie met in “and now yoji can find presidential Rise aud Fly,’ accompanied by the min timber ou nearly every street in Wash ister."—Chicago Chronicle. “Mounted on Jet black chargers. witli Boston common. "No, sir,” replied tlie intellectual ington.”—Yonkers Statesman. snow leopard skins on their saddles, they are one of tlie sninrtest troops in prodigy as be continued to gaze up A (iood Example. India,” writes a correspondent describ into the tree. “I am merely endeavor Cereals with eggs or vegetable oil We notice that many of our ex ing tin* Imperial Cadet corps, orguuized ing to correctly classify this tree iis a furnish all the food elements necessary changes are giving us credit now. We In India by Lord Curzon for the sons of botanical product.”—Ohio State Jour to sustain a man iu health, no matter trust their example will be emulated nathe princes. Ml. how laborious his occupation. by the grocer aud butcher at home.
