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About Bandon recorder. (Bandon, Or.) 188?-1910 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 14, 1902)
4 i As she arose from Iter knees Iler older brother said, “I think you’d make God awful tired, May. It takes you so long ¥% Mau’t Ilia H m I, Aujuay, .to say anything, (¡oil's got Us> much Mr. Weddle, visiting his wife’s rela- 1 ( to do to have to wait on you to get fives up in Maine, fairly bud to go to through. Why don’t you lump them church tliat Sunday. He didu't Mailt I all together. He'd know what you As we go through tlie world, if we to go. but bls wife thought it would do meant, for He knows everything, be him good and would be apt to preserve I would only make it our duty in life to sides it gets awfully tiresome for a fel the harmony of the family. say tilings that are pleasant, relate only The sermon was long and powder those tilings of our neighbors or any- low to keep still until you get through.” dry, and Weddle stole off Into the Issly else tliat would redound to their ‘ I’m going to say them again, you bad boy,” ami site dropjied on iier knees arms of Morpheus gently and serenely. ■ giMal and leave a cheerful glow instead As he did not snore, his wife did not ami commenced tier petition again. suspect that he had gone to sleep of a chill in tlie heart, we would find « ««« alongside of her and gave herself up this merry old world a mill'll happier Another little miss of four or live fully to inspecting tlie lionnel of the place to live ill. if we must gossip, let it lie on a high order, instead of resort years old went to scinsil the other day woman in the pew iu front. Like all things, good and bad, ing to the base and low, ill fact, border as a visitor. Tlie teacher, when the sermon came to au end lit last. ing on thedialsilieal, by repeating what other children had finished their Friday Weddle «lumbered on like a baby e you may hear. Mind you, “repeating” afternoon exercises of speaking and after a deacon began taking up it is al ways somebody else said “so-and- singing, asked tlie child if she could collection in u hut. When the del so.” You do not accept tlie blame for not recite something. She consented was passed to Weddle. Mrs. Wed and toddled up to tlie platform, but was surprised to see that he did Dot tlie scandal-monger; you are merely resisted. She nudged him violently to tlitir tool, simply assisting in tlie evil there she stissi for several seconds, and bring him buck to his senses, and Wed work of scattering tlie spicy bits of news all of the little verses she knew so well die, awakening witli a start, sat up to aid in clouding a life. If you are go had left her mind completely, but she right and. bewildered, gazed nt tlie hat ing to lie a gossiper of this type don’t would not admit the fact. Suddenly In tlie hand of tlie deacon. Then lie act tile part of a coward, although it is turning to tlie teacher she said: “Oh, I shook Ills bead sleepily and said: in keeping witli your ugly pastime, know something,” and proceeded to “No; that Isn’t mine. Mine Is n gray but try and lie honorable enough not to say her prayers, leavingofl' tin* “Amen” one.”—New York Tribune. endeavor to shift tin- blame on to some-, part of it to tlie no small amusement of Jie teacher and tlie pupils. a.-W one else's shoulders, for you are j Hud Nerve. ed the'I » » » » "Well, ain't that a lovely customer? guilty ns tlie party who first started the’ 1 just dote on waiting on tliat kind, stories in keeping tlie ball rolling, and Speaking of children reminds me of lild you see her, though?" The shop for every turn it makes it gathers a lit tlie kindly act of Mr. Hchwab, a promi girl was bubbling over with rage. A tle more venom until it is so distorted nent member of the steel trust, and he woman and tier daughter bad looked at tliat tlie originator of the story would calls it his “amusement.” He lias pur not fewer than twenty-five silk waintS. chased a big piece of property called At last they took up one, anil I he worn never recognize it as the story she so an brought forth a tape measure. "I wickedly started. Thesegossipers never Richmond Beach on Staten island near think we might get It out of three and get tired, but greedily gather up every Tatten ville, which includes a finequar- a half yards or three and two-thirds item of news tliat can lie carried Io ter-mile stretch of beach, a fresh water anyhow. Just wait — twenty three others. lake, a grove of hills, a steamboat dock, 1 inches down the front, three-quarters > > » » pavilions, pagodas and a farm-house. for tlie sleeves, allow a quarter for col One of these over-zealous gossipers He is changing the buildings tosuit the lar and cuffs. Yes, that'll do it.” As called at a friend’s house recently ami purposes for which he intends to use she talked she ran tlie tape over tlie them, and thinks tliat the place, swept waist, tlie clerk standing by almost had hardly got comfortably seated un bursting witli indignation. "Three til she began: "Oh, Mrs. B— , have as it is by the ocean breezes from the yards of lace, one and a quarter of In you heard tlie latest about Miss ('----- ? lower bay, will make u particularly fit sertlon,” she went on, measuring tlie It is perfectly dreadful if the Half of it and salubrious summer resort for the trimming. "Put tliat down, Amv. is true and " “Stop right there, sick and poor children of New York. Now let's go. We can get up a waist please,” said Mrs. B— "1 dont want His idea is to manage the beach ill con exactly like that for $7.50. and they to hear it, for Miss C has always nection witli sundry charitable institu ask $14.98. They've got their nerve, been my friend. I have always found tions and bring children down on steam haven't they?”—New York Press. her sweet, noble, and a charming little boats to spend the day. As many as woman, who is not capable of wronging 21XX) children can lie fed and cared for From like Theater Gallery. anyone and who is so conscientious there daily in the season, and Mr. Mr. W. Pett Ridge tells in the Eng lish Illustrated that the best repartee that she wouldn’t if she could. All the Schwab rightly thinks that the re be ever encountered was in tlie gal gossip in the work) would not affect sources of tlie place will atl'ord them ex lery of a theater. An extremely stout, my feeling toward her, for no matter cellent sport. Anyone familiar witli good tempered woman contrived to what proof you might bring me I would the great suft'ering during tlie hot sum wedge herself Into u space that would not listen to or accept it. Would that mers by the poor of New York ean have accommodated a person of ordi there were more women as true and appreciate what this means for tlie chil nary size, to the unconcealed annoy , the world would dren. Scores of children die during ance of a smartly dressed youth next imide as Miss to her. She begun to peel an orange, be far lietter. Any tiling derogatory to tlie hot waves in New York every year and the youth, with n gesture of com Miss (' tliat you may hear yon can whose lives could besaved if they could plaint, removed Ids silk lint fussily to brand as a falsehisai pure and simple, only get them to such a place as the a safer position. and can lay it at thedoorof some mean, one Mr. Schawb lias prepared forthem. "I suppose.” said petty spirit, who is possibly envious of It is a noble work ami a better monu woman, “tliat you'd Miss (' —'a great |a>pnlarity. Please ment to the originator than tlie most gentleman sitting by the side of you. do me tlie favor of never repeating any- costly granite monument tliat could sir, wouldn't you have been erected. Many a petition The youth replied i snappishly In the thingyou may hear of tlie kind again, and lietter still, refuse to listen to it.” will ascend to the throne of mercy from affirmative. "All," said the I woman thoughtfully. Gossipers are abroad in tlie land and childish lips for tlie benefit of their "so would I!” they should lie denounced ami frowned benefactor and friend. BANDON RECORDER. P POLLY LARKIN | t________________ J Presence of Mind. During a performance at one of tlie London theaters a mull and bls wife had to quarrel on the stage, the worn an In a rage of Jealousy, the man try Ing to persuade tier that she was too auspicious and too passionate. Both were acting with great spirit when tlie wife moved her arm too near tlie can die, and her muslin dress was in flames in an instant. 1 Botli actors kept tbeir beads, however, Tlie husband ext in guisbed the tire and. proceeding with bls part. Interpolated: "You see, my dear, I was right. You are ready to flare up at the least thing.” Odd Plant«. "What an inquiring mind Miss Light ly has!” exclaimed the cynic. "We were at an Italian table d'bote last evening, and she said, with a very kit tenlsli air: ‘Oil, did you ever see maca roni growing? I should think a whole field of those lovely white stalks would lie too awfully pretty.’ ’’ “What did you say, old mini?" salt! his partner. "Oh, I Just said no, that 1 hud never come nearer to it than seeing a bread tree in flower.” Then the partner stepped to tlie tele phone, and they carried the cynic home in the ambulance.— New Orleans Times Ileinis rat. A Hit of John Tlrluht'a Sarcasm. A noble lord once said on the occa sion of Mr. Bright's illness that Provl dence was punishing him for misuse of talents by inflicting a disease of the brain. The following was Mr. Bright's sarcastic rejoinder when lie resumed bis seat: "It may be so. but in any case it will be some consolation to the friends and family of the noble lord to know that tile disease is one which even Providence could not inflict upon him." Arintocratio Anfn. The slaveholding ants are of several kinds and differ greatly In tlie manner In which they treat tbeir vassals. Some make them do all the work under the direction of overseers; others share tbeir labors, while still others have fallen into such habits of luxury as to lie unable or unwilling to wait upon or even to feed themselves and are car ried about and provided with food by their body servants. In many cnses this sybaritism Is the mere ostentatious love of lieing served. The incapacity is not physical, but moral, and arises from an aristocratic aversion to any kind of menial labor. The Ln iik It. Cbumpley—That hypnotist is a fraud. He couldn't control my mind at all Inst night. Pokely—Of course he had some ex cuse ? Cbumpley—Yea. He Mid there was no material to won: on. Yon ought to have heard tlie audience give him the laugh!—Tit-Bits. Forethought. “You are probably not nwiire. sir." said the angry father, “that last year my daughter spent $1,500on her dress.” "Yes, I am," said the young man firmly. "I advised her to do It over ii year ago, when we llrst became en gaged.” Cultivate patience. A* you get older you will find that it Is tlie only talent you are expected to have.—Atchlsou Globe. upon until tliey give up the unpleasant BRIEF REVIEW. habit. If you want to make your neighbor tlie theme of yonr conversa Eggs Preserved Twelve Years. tion, let it lie some pleasant bit of in M. Jaillis Parisot, an eminent French formation you have to indulge in that will not fill the heart witli bitterness if chemist, Ims discovered a liquid which lie claims to lie capable of preserving it should chance to reach her ears. the freshness of eggs for a period of « « « « twelve years, A year ago lie placed a I saw a little incident that was tilled large number of these delicacies ill the with interest to Polly the other day. I liquid, getting a magistrate to witness chancei) to lie in tlie neighborhood of his act and seal the tank with hisofli- the general postottice, when I saw a cial seal. A few days ago the tank was little lady daintily dressed Lading one opened in the presence of his worship, of tlie prettiest baby girls 1 have seen tlie eggs being found to lie in excellent in many a long day. She was about condition. Foureggs wereselected hap three or four years of age and toddled hazard out of the tank, and on being along lisping her baby questions. An boiled were eaten, the magistrate pro elderly lady, seemingly tlie grand nouncing them to be excellent and also mother, accompanied them. They wan possessing a delicious flavor. Another dered back and fort 11 on the same block triumph for the inventor happened re and seemed to lie waiting for some one. cently, some eggs which had been in Finally the gray-uniformed mail car the liquid for four months being suc riers liegan tiling out witli their loads cessfully hatched, eight out oftliedozeu of mail. One after the other wended placed under the lien proving fertile. their way in different directions. The M. Parisot states that he can preserve trio watched them as they passed until eggs with his preparation at a cost of one of them stepped out of tlie building 15 cents per thousand. and as he passed down the street sorted a number of letters he Held in his hand. Burial Goods at Wholesale. The moment lie came in sight tlie The people in and about Douglas, Mo., mother bent down and whispered some have organized a burial association. It thing to tlie child, then she and the lias 100 members. When a member elderly lady walked slowly down tlie dies an assessment of 12 cents is made street. Tile baby stood for an instant against each member, realizing $100 for looking at tlie big man ill gray and the expenses of the funeral and $20 for brass buttons and then ran up to him. the expenses of maintaining the or “Hello, papa,” she said with a glad ganization. Tlie organization has pur little cry. Down went the mailbag chased and stored a lot of burial goods and tlie letters, mid tlie next moment in orderto takeadvantage of tlie whole lie was holding the child in his arms sale prices. and raining kisses on her baby face. His eyes were full of tears and he was' Longevity ol Royal Family. calling her all the pet mimes in the King Christian IX of Denmark, who English vocabulary, it seemed to Polly. recently completed his eighty-second Then he picked up his mailbag again year, was one of twelve children, all of and walked with her to tlie end of the but two of whom lived to be over 60. block. "There's mamma,” said the His sister, the Dowager Duchess af An- baby, ami tlie big, strong man's lips halt-Ben ilmrg, is 01 years old, and he only quivered as he kissed her good-by has two brothers living, aged 7S and 77 and watched her cross to where her years respectively. mother was waiting for her. Not a Take hold of a heavy load and draw glance did they bestow on the mail carrier, who watched them fiom across it till you are ready to fall from exhaus the street with wistful eyes. When tion and then have some one compel they turned (lie corner he resumed the you to pull harder by the strokes of a sortingout <■( letters and went on his whip and you will experience what the way, a lietter man, no doubt, for hav faithful horse has to bear every day. ing had that five minutes’ happiness Leave troubles at the front gate of with his “baby sweetheart” as he had called her. There had lieen trouble in your home when you enter, Home the household, no doubt, and Polly lias should Is* a place to renew our cheerful no idea who was to blame, lint it looked ness and energies for the perplexities of to me tliat with the mail-carrier's pleas daily life. ant, refined face, and the mother with We have known some honest patri her pretty and gentle ways, that after a otic men to lose their homes by taking time they must become reconciled and too great an interest in running tills an explanation take place that would government. reunite them into a happy family once Failures are but rungs ill the ladder more, but when that time comes it will l>e a little chilli who will lead them. flint leads higher if you are the right It was a pathetic scene, and one tliat I kind of a climber. will not soon forget. Some persona are unhappy lieeause • • •• they have such a jMsir opinion of them A little tot of four years was kneeling selves. by her lied and saying her prayers the other night. .She bad asked blessings Some men think money is too gissi for every member of the family, a sick to pay délits with. friend and all her cousins, aunts, uncles, .No man is perfect and few men aie etc., and wound up by asking for her sick kitten to hurry up and get well. totally bad. CHOICE MISCELLANY NEW SHORT STORIES FACTS IN FEW LINES A PET ECONOMY. Almost Ever> >lttu Muiutaiii« Small Though It May He. One, match about you?" asked the ter of the chief buyer. "Wolnler you wouldn't buy matches once in awhile!" growled the buyer. ‘I've been supplying you with matches for years.” • "I never buy mutches never have and never will,” suid the bookkeeper. *11 is my pet economy. Most every Sum lias one." And tlie laiokkeepvr was right. Near ly every man Ims u pet economy and will go to a great length to Indulge it. At the Union dull they still tell of a worthy old member who was particular about using a certain kind of soap, but was not willing to buy it. They used the soap at the club, anil lie uppropri- »ted the cakes as fast as be needed iheui. He needed ao many that the steward changed tlie brand. Tlie same spirit of economy in small tilings makes other people stuff them selves with bread In order that no but ter may be left on tlieir plate and wast 'd. Hundreds of men would not dream of buying a lead pencil. To save buy ing stationery others write tbeir let ters at hotels which are generous In providing writing materials. Scores of men and women save pennies by pick ing up discarded newspapers in the ele vated trains and ferrylwats. Alni so it goes. It is not so much tlie actual money saved that moves people in these little schemes; rather an inborn lesire to economize in something, But to return to tlie bookkeeper, tlie buyer ami tlie matches. Tlie bookkeep er continued: "You are stingy with your old match es. I'll Just lake a lot, and then I'll be independent of you.” Then lie emptied out half the box.— New York Tribune. SHOES. Aa to lloetor«1 and Lawyer.’ Fees. The Wavy Had Io Walt. In conversation the other day a prom inent lawyer remarked to a physician of repute that the Plant estate, amount ing to some $49,000,990, would bring the lawyers about $1.900,000 as fees. The doctor asked the lawyer: "Mr. F.. suppose Mr. Plant were dy ing. but, there lielng a chance of saving ills life by a difficult operation, a sur geon should operate and save Mr. Plant's life. Would that surgeon be justified in sending In a bill for $100,- 0007” The immediate answer was, “Certain, ly not!” “Well,” asked Dr. AL, "how is It tliat tin* lawyers can charge such large fees?” "Because.” replied the advocate, “a lawyer's fees are fixed by the courts.” And tlie celebrated physician, whose office fee of $10 is often grudgingly paid, remarked: “You lawyers have solved the prob lem of self preservation, while we are spending our time In the preservation of others.” The house committee on naval af fairs was in session. As the members wery considering Important matter» the discussion whs more or less heated. Tlie day was warm, and the windows which look out on the white marble walls of the court of the capitol were wide open. Mr. Kltchin was giving his views when the strains of "Go ’Way Buck and Sit Down” by a steam cal liiqie found their way into tlie room. Mr. Mudd arose from his seat, took his hat from tlie rack ami departed from the room. The music seemed to be getting nearer, ami Mr. Wheeler fol lowed Mr. Mudd. Mr. Dayton next dis covered that Kltchin was not saying anything that interested him, and he closed the door of the committee room from the outside. Mr. Loudenslager and Mr. Bull held a whispered conver sation ami smiled defiantly at Chair man Foss as they made tracks in the direction of the circus parade. So tlie members of tlie committee faded away until Mr. Kltchin was talking to a sin gle auditor. Mr. Foss. “Mr. Chairman,” said Mr. Kitchin, suddenly breaking off from his argil ment. "that circus parade must be a pretty good one or else tlie committee would have remained to listen to my remarks. I move that the committee postpone consideration of the needs of tlie navy until the circus leaves town.” Mr. Foss <l>*clared tlie motion carried, ami then lie and Mr. Kitchin hurried out to see tlie elephants march by.— Washington Cor. Chicago News. Beginning of American Polo. James Gordon Bennett, the proprie tor of tlie New York Herald, was the leading spirit in Intrialuelng polo into this country. It was he that dined in 1876 at his own residence, which still stands on tlie northeast corner of Fifth avenue and Thirty-eighth street, New York city, tlie following gentlemen: Messrs. William Jay. William B. Doug lass, Charles G. Francklyn, Winnie Thorn, Perry Belmont, John Mott, Samuel Howland and Lord Mandeville. Ouahf tu Have Remembered Don, It was decided to bring from Texas a Congressman Sibley of Pennsylvania carload of cow ponies, and, until with can never recall a name or a face and in a short time, there has hung in the Is considerably handicapped thereby. Meadow Brook clubhouse, on Long Is It is said of him that once he was in a land, a list of tbese ponies, distributed by lot among tlie diners at an average cost of $20 each. The first game was played during that winter in the old frame Dickel Riding academy, where now stands the Union League club, corner of Fifth avenue anti Thirty ninth street, and play was later con tlnued at Jerome Park race course at Fordham in 1.877. ••Mary Jane” In London. On Sunday afternoon when Mary Jane goes out with her soldier you see Never wear leather sole linings io the streets fairly lighted up with the stand upon. White cotton drilling or gayety of the colors she displays. Her linen is lieuII Ider. hat is a marvel of invention. Her Never wear a shoe with a sole nar wages, which have gone up in a dec rower than the outline of tlie foot ade from £16 to £29. are spent upon traced with a pencil close under the dress and such dress! She will not rounding edge. come to you unless you keep a footman Never wear a shoe witli a sole turn and a butler. Her duties, defined by ing up very much at tlie toes, as this herself, are to clean the ornaments and causes the cords on tlie lipper part of to look after one or two rooms. Clean the foot to contract. windows? Never! Wash a handker Never have the top of the boots tight, chief? No. Tliat belongs to the laun is It Interferes with the action of the dress’ department, etc. Therefore it is calf muscles, makes one walk badly found convenient to move Into flats, and spoils the shape of the ankle. and tlie rents of Mayfair mansions go Never think that the feet will grow down and down until they In turn are large from wearing proper shoes. finally turned Into flathouses them " you don ' t remember me ? " Pim-liing and distorting make them selves. The small families who occupy grow not only large, but unsightly. A them are readily adapting themselves New York hotel when a blond nius- proper natural use of all the muscles to household cares without a maid's tnelied gentleman walked lip to him makes them compact and attractive. assistance.—London Letter In Town ami hade him good morning. “Good morning,” said Sibley in an and Country. uncertain manner. A Sure Thing:. "You don’t remember me?” queried Con den sat I ou. A tattered, forlorn miss of fifteen If science goes on discovering new tlie stranger. summers entered the office of a young "No." confessed Sibley. real estate man tlie other day. Ordi means of condensing things for us, "I have met you many times,” re narily lie is tlie politest of individuals, there seems to be every reason to be but tills day lie was so busy tliat lie lieve that the time Is at hand when marked the gentleman. Sibley grew a little bit annoyed. “If didn’t know "where he was at.” So, existence will mean nothing but tab witli a swift glance out of tlie corner of loids from the cradle to the grave. The you cannot tell me your name.” lie said. great French chemist Berthelot de "I shall have to pass on.” his eye, lie said rather sharply: "I am Don Cameron,” was tlie la clares it quite possible to exist without "Well, what do you want?” "P-p-p-lease. mister, won't you buy any of the foods we now possess, even conic answer. a ticket on our cuckoo clock?” replied milk being dispensed with, but at pres An Antique One Year Old, ent the process is too costly to be of In tlie reading room of the senate It- use, but he hopes some day this cost may be overcome. And as another brary is a tine old marble mantel of French chemist Ims invented a method pure colonial style which is as old as of compressing sea air Into tabloids it the capitol itself. Above this mantel Is obvious that life will not be wortli is a large plate glass mirror surround ticket." ed by a gold frame of antique design bought. Kansas City Independ- living at all in tlie coming by and by If the pilule system is adopted, We to match the mantel. A New England shall care nothing for early asparagus senator who prides himself on ills ex •‘Dog'«'(»oil Winter.** or strawberries; ducks and game, salm pert knowledge of tilings antique stood A man from North Carolina who was on and the spring chicken will cense to in front of tin* tireplace admiring both visiting in I’liiladelpliin in tlie course bo, and the flying machine means of the mantel and tlie mirror. "What a magnificent old mirror!” he of conversation used the expression locomotion will render us indifferent to exclaimed. "1 have never seen any “dogwood winter.” scenery. thing so genuinely antique since I dis “What do you mean by dogwood Glasgow Old Fogylsh. covered down in an old shop in Virginia winter?" asked ills host. “Glasgow is quite free from corrup a mirror which had been band carved "Don’t you really know what dog wood winter is?" demanded the mail tion, but there is considerable bosh It) England in the year 1723. 1 suppose from Hickory. N. C. “There is always about the ideal municipal government this mirror was as old as tlie bills a spell of it in May when tlie dogwood of the city,” said a Glasgow man now when it was brought to the capitol and tree is in bloom. For several days touring this country to an Interviewer that It has been stored away in some there is cold, disagreeable, cloudy the other day. "The public improve lumber room. Where did you get it?” weather and often a touch of frost. ments are far behind those of many “It was made to order last year,” Down our way it never fails, and we cities in the United States. The elec quietly replied tlie clerk. -all it dogwood winter. I thought the tric lights are queer, old fashioned tilings, and the city permitted the con phrase was general." Amos Shook Hla Flat. struction of overhead wires for the Whenever the late Amos J. Cum street railways. Commissions were mings made a speech in congress, The Colors Iu Battle. Some people may not know that the sent to various cities to look into elec which was not often, be always bad a colors are not now taken Into action. tric light systems and electric railway good audience. He talked with great Before a corps proceeds on service they systems. I can't imagine where they vehemence on whatever subject lie had ire placed in safe custody, as suits went, for they brought back a lot of In hand and flung Ids arms about like mill honorable insignia, and "when very old fashioned ideas.” flails. lolniny comes marching borne again” He was always furious at Interrup they will be all the fresher for not be- Smoke Made t'.eful. tions. A few weeks before the begin ng carried through dusty lands and In many of the towns of Belgium a ning of the illness that proved fatal, trying rivers. The men whose duty novel method of making use of smoke when he was talking John Wesley t would have been to carry them and lias lately be >n employed. Tlie scheme Gaines of Tennessee, who originated stand by them to the last are nowa is worthy of particular notice because the idea of asking questions of every days employed In less sentimental, if it not only does away with the "smoke man who gets up to talk, asked him liore useful, duties. nuisance,” Imt turns it into profit. The some irrelevant question. Cummings smoke is driven by a ventllating fan shook bis list at Gaines and roared: “You keep out of my speech.” into a filter of porous material over I iK’ertaln Alton! Iler Age. Gaines thought Cummings intended A Boston servant, like many of her which pours a continuous stream of class, does not know her age. She has petroleum, benzine, alcohol or some to jump over the desks at 1dm and lived with one family eleven years and liquid hydro carbon Hows. Thus tlie didn't ask another question that day. lias always been twenty eight. But smoke is entirely suppressed, and the Rhode«' Retort to the Kaiser. not long ago she read in the newspaper filter yields a gas of great heatiu; Among the stories being told of the of an old woman who laid died at the power which may lie used In niant age of 106. "Maybe I'm ns auld as that ways. The material in the filter u I ho late Cecil Rhodes is tills: When taking leave of tlie German emperor after mesilf,” said she. “Imbide. 1 can’t re- becomes n g< oil fuel. several interviews in relation to Afri mimber the time when I wasn't alive.” Shaiu C'bnmpaicnr. ca. his majesty said, “I wish you were —Boston Christian Legist er. American apples are cored, sliced a German, Mr. Rhodes, for then I All Kschnngr of FnnrtesleH. and dried, sent to France and there would ask you to become my minister "No, suli," said Mr. Eraatus Pinkly, converted into cider. With tlie addi- of foreign affairs.” The kaiser was tion of carbonic acid gns and yeast somewhat startled at tills characteris "I nebber sold my vote to txdxxly.” • nd a little flavoring powder, the cider tically blunt reply: "If your majesty "But that candidate gave you $2.” "Ynsslr. I doesn't demsdiit. lie Jes' becomes champagne, and much of It were only nil Englishman. I would come along an' glninif'dat two, an' ?omcs to England and Is drunk under have suggested that you come to South when a gemmau comes along an* gives ;he delusion that It is of the best Africa with me and become my busi ness manager.” you $2 fob miffin' ft ain't no mo’ dan irand.—London Family Doctor. common reciprocity to vote foil 'Im fob miffin'.”—Washington Star. III n Filini liixtricl ionw. II. Dldh't. “Do you believe in signs?” "No. A dentist's sign reading ‘Teeth Extracted Without Pilin' fell the other day Just as I went under it and knock ed out two teeth of mine!"—Cincinnati Commercial Tribune. An old darky who was fearful of he Ing burled ulivo loft tbese final inaliate tlons: "Attor m.v timo come I lemme stay cz long ez posslble. Doll'l make de fu Thought He Wna Smart. nera! sermoni tisi lon(. kaze dat’ll Wife- Ko you mean to Insinuate that niake me sleep only de sounder; but your Judgment is superior to mine? blow de diiiner lio'n ov< r me. Ef dat Husband— Certainly not, niy dear. dou't wake me. I Is »I »' gone!”—At Our choice of life partners proves It lauta Cunstltution. Isn't A Secondary Consideration. The plants in Kew gardens are being poisoned by Loudon smoke fog. The amount of French capital invest ed iu China exceeds $190.000,1)00. Jamaica hopes to export over 12,000.- O hi bunches of bananas this year. Jn some New Zealand towns there are more women voters thau men. For every 100 deaths in rural dis tricts In England there are 118 in town districts. Agrurlau crimes of violence are few er in Ireland now than at any time since 1879. The growth of girls is greatest in tbeir fifteenth year, of boys In their seventeenth. Orders have been Issued in India for the return to store of all ammunition containing dumdum bullets. Tlie Laplanders are the shortest people in Europe, men averaging 4 feet 11 inches, women 4 feet 9 inches. Golf has been played for i he first time on the historic battlefield of Bn- saco, the players being some English visitors. The highest of all navigable rivers is the Tsaugpo. which flows for nearly I, 000 miles at an elevation of from II, 000 to 14,000 feet. There are altogether thirty miles of bridges on the Siberian railway. Tlie longest is tliat over the Yenisei, at Krasnoyarsk, Just half a mile. Since the introduction of penny In the slot meters tlie total consumption of gas in certain districts in Berlin has increased by nearly 700 per cent. In nearly every street in Japanese cities is a public oven where for a small fee housewives may have their dinners and suppers cooked for them. Any one attending a spiritulist seance in Bohemia is liable to a fine of $40, ac cording to a decree which has been is sued by the governor of the province. Arabic is tlie sacred language of 200,- 000,000 people who dwell in all quar ters of the globe, and at least 2,000.000 are now under the care of tlie United States in tlie Philippine Islands. It is reckoned tliat tlie United States government owns enough arid land west of the Rocky mountains, if irri gated. to provide homes for the total present population of tlie country. Excavations now being made in tlie Forum at Rome resulted in the discov ery of n tomb supposed to date from an epoch anterior to tlie time generhl- ly assigned for tlie foundation of tlie city. Tlie oldest steam engine at work Is believed to be a Newcomen winding en gine nt i'arme colliery. Rutlierglen, near Glasgow. It was built in 1809 and has worked continuously to the present time. It Is proposed to extend the basement galleries under tlie large courtyard at tlie British museum and to transform tlie two large wings now used for resi dential and official purposes into exhi bition galleries. Tlie steamer Mure recently made the trip from Singapore to London, 11,830 miles, using only petroleum for fuel. It required nlsint eighteen tons per day. It would have taken twenty-four to twenty live tons of the best coal. Ashington, in the center of the North umberland (England) colliery district, has accommodation in its clubs for one- sixth of its inhabitants. It also boasts tlie largest public house bar, which will accommodate 3,000 thirsty miners at a time. Many relics of pre-IIellenic civiliza tion have Just been unearthed near Naples. Among other things discov ered were several articles of gold and silver and a quantity of feminine Jew elry, all of the greatest nretuvologlcal value. ** The 2.500 inmates of tlie New York almshouse last year were fed at a per capita of about to cents a day. These persons lived on bread and coffee for breakfast, bread and stew for dinner and bread ami tea for suppef, without sugar, butter or vegetables. "No darkened house, no durable cof fin, no special mourning attire, no bricked grave, no unnecessary show, no avoidable expense and no unusual eat ing and drinking." Such are a few of tlie advantages offered to members of tlie British Funeral Reformers’ asso ciation. Witbin a few years the accuracy in I lie production of both flat and round surfaces lias been so increased that tlie speed of engines inis been multiplied by three. Witli tlie accurate bearings of tlie present tlie tripled speed gives less trouble from heating and cutting than did the slow speed of former years. For a consideration a company lias Just been formed in France to relieve parliamentary candidates of all the worries of a general election. Posters, agents, orators, audiences all are found. Veters, however, are not sup plied. but If the candidate is not elect ed the company guarantees to refund a third of whatever lie may have paid to secure his return. The German Imperial council of health has issued tables referring to cancer. They show that the number of cases has materially Increased since 1892, the proportion of Increase sur passing that of tin* population. Tlie age of the subjects averages younger than in former years. Women are more frequently affected than men. but <lo not succumb to tlie cancer in ns large a proportion. Boston Is clamoring for a new cus tom house and expects the next con gross to appropriate money for tlie erection of a bigger and better ar ranged building than tlie present old structure on State street. The city's merchants sa.v that with collections exceeding $20.<XM).(XK> a year and much money now pH Id for rent of outside premises the port merits the new bu id !ng and the government would profit by erecting it. The Wife. “She's alius so 'fraid of somebody "Suppose I were an absolutely per swipin' dat dog." fect woman,” site remarked sharply. “Am It wuff nnyt’ing?” •'Do you know what you'd do then?" “Waal. In dis by ah neighborhood a “No,” answered her husband. t'lng doan’ have to be wuff nuffin to "What?” git swiped.”—Puck, “You'd growl because you had noth ing to growl about.”—Chicago Post. Mlaanderstood, "And we have one baby,” said the meek man who was applying for board. “Will you mind It?” "Mind it?” snapped the thin faced landlady. "Of course not. Do you think I'm a Durs«?”—Chicago News » d Sad Case. Pat—Poor Mike Is did. Terry—Yfs. He nlver aven lived ti injoy bls life Insurance.—Baltimoi f World.
