4
i
As she arose from Iter knees Iler older
brother said, “I think you’d make God
awful tired, May. It takes you so long
¥% Mau’t Ilia H m I, Aujuay,
.to say anything, (¡oil's got Us> much
Mr. Weddle, visiting his wife’s rela- 1
( to do to have to wait on you to get
fives up in Maine, fairly bud to go to
through. Why don’t you lump them
church tliat Sunday. He didu't Mailt I
all together. He'd know what you
As we go through tlie world, if we
to go. but bls wife thought it would do
meant, for He knows everything, be
him good and would be apt to preserve I would only make it our duty in life to
sides
it gets awfully tiresome for a fel
the harmony of the family.
say tilings that are pleasant, relate only
The sermon was long and powder those tilings of our neighbors or any- low to keep still until you get through.”
dry, and Weddle stole off Into the Issly else tliat would redound to their ‘ I’m going to say them again, you bad
boy,” ami site dropjied on iier knees
arms of Morpheus gently and serenely.
■ giMal and leave a cheerful glow instead
As he did not snore, his wife did not
ami commenced tier petition again.
suspect that he had gone to sleep of a chill in tlie heart, we would find
« «««
alongside of her and gave herself up this merry old world a mill'll happier
Another
little
miss of four or live
fully to inspecting tlie lionnel of the place to live ill. if we must gossip, let
it lie on a high order, instead of resort years old went to scinsil the other day
woman in the pew iu front.
Like all things, good and bad,
ing to the base and low, ill fact, border as a visitor. Tlie teacher, when the
sermon came to au end lit last.
ing on thedialsilieal, by repeating what other children had finished their Friday
Weddle «lumbered on like a baby e
you may hear. Mind you, “repeating” afternoon exercises of speaking and
after a deacon began taking up
it is al ways somebody else said “so-and- singing, asked tlie child if she could
collection in u hut. When the del
so.” You do not accept tlie blame for not recite something. She consented
was passed to Weddle. Mrs. Wed
and toddled up to tlie platform, but
was surprised to see that he did Dot tlie scandal-monger; you are merely
resisted. She nudged him violently to tlitir tool, simply assisting in tlie evil there she stissi for several seconds, and
bring him buck to his senses, and Wed work of scattering tlie spicy bits of news all of the little verses she knew so well
die, awakening witli a start, sat up to aid in clouding a life. If you are go had left her mind completely, but she
right and. bewildered, gazed nt tlie hat ing to lie a gossiper of this type don’t would not admit the fact. Suddenly
In tlie hand of tlie deacon. Then lie act tile part of a coward, although it is turning to tlie teacher she said: “Oh, I
shook Ills bead sleepily and said:
in keeping witli your ugly pastime, know something,” and proceeded to
“No; that Isn’t mine. Mine Is n gray
but try and lie honorable enough not to say her prayers, leavingofl' tin* “Amen”
one.”—New York Tribune.
endeavor to shift tin- blame on to some-, part of it to tlie no small amusement of
Jie teacher and tlie pupils.
a.-W
one else's shoulders, for you are j
Hud Nerve.
ed the'I
» » » »
"Well, ain't that a lovely customer? guilty ns tlie party who first started
the’
1 just dote on waiting on tliat kind, stories in keeping tlie ball rolling, and
Speaking of children reminds me of
lild you see her, though?" The shop for every turn it makes it gathers a lit tlie kindly act of Mr. Hchwab, a promi
girl was bubbling over with rage. A tle more venom until it is so distorted nent member of the steel trust, and he
woman and tier daughter bad looked at
tliat tlie originator of the story would calls it his “amusement.” He lias pur
not fewer than twenty-five silk waintS.
chased a big piece of property called
At last they took up one, anil I he worn never recognize it as the story she so
an brought forth a tape measure. "I wickedly started. Thesegossipers never Richmond Beach on Staten island near
think we might get It out of three and get tired, but greedily gather up every Tatten ville, which includes a finequar-
a half yards or three and two-thirds item of news tliat can lie carried Io ter-mile stretch of beach, a fresh water
anyhow.
Just
wait — twenty three others.
lake, a grove of hills, a steamboat dock, 1
inches down the front, three-quarters
> > » »
pavilions, pagodas and a farm-house.
for tlie sleeves, allow a quarter for col
One of these over-zealous gossipers He is changing the buildings tosuit the
lar and cuffs. Yes, that'll do it.” As
called
at a friend’s house recently ami purposes for which he intends to use
she talked she ran tlie tape over tlie
them, and thinks tliat the place, swept
waist, tlie clerk standing by almost had hardly got comfortably seated un
bursting witli indignation.
"Three til she began: "Oh, Mrs. B— , have as it is by the ocean breezes from the
yards of lace, one and a quarter of In you heard tlie latest about Miss ('----- ? lower bay, will make u particularly fit
sertlon,” she went on, measuring tlie It is perfectly dreadful if the Half of it and salubrious summer resort for the
trimming.
"Put tliat down, Amv. is true and " “Stop right there, sick and poor children of New York.
Now let's go. We can get up a waist please,” said Mrs. B—
"1 dont want His idea is to manage the beach ill con
exactly like that for $7.50. and they to hear it, for Miss C
has always nection witli sundry charitable institu
ask $14.98. They've got their nerve,
been my friend. I have always found tions and bring children down on steam
haven't they?”—New York Press.
her sweet, noble, and a charming little boats to spend the day. As many as
woman, who is not capable of wronging 21XX) children can lie fed and cared for
From like Theater Gallery.
anyone
and who is so conscientious there daily in the season, and Mr.
Mr. W. Pett Ridge tells in the Eng
lish Illustrated that the best repartee that she wouldn’t if she could. All the Schwab rightly thinks that the re
be ever encountered was in tlie gal gossip in the work) would not affect sources of tlie place will atl'ord them ex
lery of a theater. An extremely stout, my feeling toward her, for no matter cellent sport. Anyone familiar witli
good tempered woman contrived to
what proof you might bring me I would the great suft'ering during tlie hot sum
wedge herself Into u space that would
not
listen to or accept it. Would that mers by the poor of New York ean
have accommodated a person of ordi
there
were more women as true and appreciate what this means for tlie chil
nary size, to the unconcealed annoy
, the world would dren. Scores of children die during
ance of a smartly dressed youth next imide as Miss
to her. She begun to peel an orange, be far lietter. Any tiling derogatory to tlie hot waves in New York every year
and the youth, with n gesture of com Miss ('
tliat you may hear yon can whose lives could besaved if they could
plaint, removed Ids silk lint fussily to brand as a falsehisai pure and simple, only get them to such a place as the
a safer position.
and can lay it at thedoorof some mean, one Mr. Schawb lias prepared forthem.
"I suppose.” said
petty spirit, who is possibly envious of It is a noble work ami a better monu
woman, “tliat you'd
Miss (' —'a great |a>pnlarity. Please ment to the originator than tlie most
gentleman sitting by the side of you.
do me tlie favor of never repeating any- costly granite monument tliat could
sir, wouldn't you
have been erected. Many a petition
The youth replied
i
snappishly In the thingyou may hear of tlie kind again,
and lietter still, refuse to listen to it.” will ascend to the throne of mercy from
affirmative.
"All," said the
I
woman thoughtfully. Gossipers are abroad in tlie land and childish lips for tlie benefit of their
"so would I!”
they should lie denounced ami frowned benefactor and friend.
BANDON RECORDER.
P POLLY LARKIN |
t________________ J
Presence
of
Mind.
During a performance at one of tlie
London theaters a mull and bls wife
had to quarrel on the stage, the worn
an In a rage of Jealousy, the man try
Ing to persuade tier that she was too
auspicious and too passionate. Both
were acting with great spirit when tlie
wife moved her arm too near tlie can
die, and her muslin dress was in flames
in an instant. 1 Botli actors kept tbeir
beads, however, Tlie husband ext in
guisbed the tire and. proceeding with
bls part. Interpolated:
"You see, my dear, I was right. You
are ready to flare up at the least thing.”
Odd Plant«.
"What an inquiring mind Miss Light
ly has!” exclaimed the cynic. "We
were at an Italian table d'bote last
evening, and she said, with a very kit
tenlsli air: ‘Oil, did you ever see maca
roni growing? I should think a whole
field of those lovely white stalks would
lie too awfully pretty.’ ’’
“What did you say, old mini?" salt!
his partner.
"Oh, I Just said no, that 1 hud never
come nearer to it than seeing a bread
tree in flower.”
Then the partner stepped to tlie tele
phone, and they carried the cynic home
in the ambulance.— New Orleans
Times Ileinis rat.
A Hit of John Tlrluht'a Sarcasm.
A noble lord once said on the occa
sion of Mr. Bright's illness that Provl
dence was punishing him for misuse
of talents by inflicting a disease of the
brain. The following was Mr. Bright's
sarcastic rejoinder when lie resumed
bis seat: "It may be so. but in any case
it will be some consolation to the
friends and family of the noble lord to
know that tile disease is one which
even Providence could not inflict upon
him."
Arintocratio Anfn.
The slaveholding ants are of several
kinds and differ greatly In tlie manner
In which they treat tbeir vassals. Some
make them do all the work under the
direction of overseers; others share
tbeir labors, while still others have
fallen into such habits of luxury as to
lie unable or unwilling to wait upon or
even to feed themselves and are car
ried about and provided with food by
their body servants. In many cnses
this sybaritism Is the mere ostentatious
love of lieing served. The incapacity is
not physical, but moral, and arises
from an aristocratic aversion to any
kind of menial labor.
The
Ln iik It.
Cbumpley—That hypnotist is a fraud.
He couldn't control my mind at all Inst
night.
Pokely—Of course he had some ex
cuse ?
Cbumpley—Yea. He Mid there was
no material to won: on. Yon ought to
have heard tlie audience give him the
laugh!—Tit-Bits.
Forethought.
“You are probably not nwiire. sir."
said the angry father, “that last year
my daughter spent $1,500on her dress.”
"Yes, I am," said the young man
firmly. "I advised her to do It over ii
year ago, when we llrst became en
gaged.”
Cultivate patience. A* you get older
you will find that it Is tlie only talent
you are expected to have.—Atchlsou
Globe.
upon until tliey give up the unpleasant
BRIEF REVIEW.
habit. If you want to make your
neighbor tlie theme of yonr conversa
Eggs Preserved Twelve Years.
tion, let it lie some pleasant bit of in
M. Jaillis Parisot, an eminent French
formation you have to indulge in that
will not fill the heart witli bitterness if chemist, Ims discovered a liquid which
lie claims to lie capable of preserving
it should chance to reach her ears.
the
freshness of eggs for a period of
« « « «
twelve years, A year ago lie placed a
I saw a little incident that was tilled large number of these delicacies ill the
with interest to Polly the other day. I liquid, getting a magistrate to witness
chancei) to lie in tlie neighborhood of his act and seal the tank with hisofli-
the general postottice, when I saw a cial seal. A few days ago the tank was
little lady daintily dressed Lading one opened in the presence of his worship,
of tlie prettiest baby girls 1 have seen tlie eggs being found to lie in excellent
in many a long day. She was about condition. Foureggs wereselected hap
three or four years of age and toddled hazard out of the tank, and on being
along lisping her baby questions. An boiled were eaten, the magistrate pro
elderly lady, seemingly tlie grand nouncing them to be excellent and also
mother, accompanied them. They wan possessing a delicious flavor. Another
dered back and fort 11 on the same block triumph for the inventor happened re
and seemed to lie waiting for some one. cently, some eggs which had been in
Finally the gray-uniformed mail car the liquid for four months being suc
riers liegan tiling out witli their loads cessfully hatched, eight out oftliedozeu
of mail. One after the other wended placed under the lien proving fertile.
their way in different directions. The M. Parisot states that he can preserve
trio watched them as they passed until eggs with his preparation at a cost of
one of them stepped out of tlie building 15 cents per thousand.
and as he passed down the street sorted
a number of letters he Held in his hand.
Burial Goods at Wholesale.
The moment lie came in sight tlie
The people in and about Douglas, Mo.,
mother bent down and whispered some
have organized a burial association. It
thing to tlie child, then she and the
lias 100 members. When a member
elderly lady walked slowly down tlie
dies an assessment of 12 cents is made
street. Tile baby stood for an instant
against each member, realizing $100 for
looking at tlie big man ill gray and
the expenses of the funeral and $20 for
brass buttons and then ran up to him.
the expenses of maintaining the or
“Hello, papa,” she said with a glad
ganization. Tlie organization has pur
little cry. Down went the mailbag
chased and stored a lot of burial goods
and tlie letters, mid tlie next moment
in orderto takeadvantage of tlie whole
lie was holding the child in his arms
sale prices.
and raining kisses on her baby face.
His eyes were full of tears and he was'
Longevity ol Royal Family.
calling her all the pet mimes in the
King Christian IX of Denmark, who
English vocabulary, it seemed to Polly. recently completed his eighty-second
Then he picked up his mailbag again year, was one of twelve children, all of
and walked with her to tlie end of the but two of whom lived to be over 60.
block. "There's mamma,” said the His sister, the Dowager Duchess af An-
baby, ami tlie big, strong man's lips halt-Ben ilmrg, is 01 years old, and he
only quivered as he kissed her good-by has two brothers living, aged 7S and 77
and watched her cross to where her years respectively.
mother was waiting for her. Not a
Take hold of a heavy load and draw
glance did they bestow on the mail
carrier, who watched them fiom across it till you are ready to fall from exhaus
the street with wistful eyes. When tion and then have some one compel
they turned (lie corner he resumed the you to pull harder by the strokes of a
sortingout <■( letters and went on his whip and you will experience what the
way, a lietter man, no doubt, for hav faithful horse has to bear every day.
ing had that five minutes’ happiness
Leave troubles at the front gate of
with his “baby sweetheart” as he had
called her. There had lieen trouble in your home when you enter, Home
the household, no doubt, and Polly lias should Is* a place to renew our cheerful
no idea who was to blame, lint it looked ness and energies for the perplexities of
to me tliat with the mail-carrier's pleas daily life.
ant, refined face, and the mother with
We have known some honest patri
her pretty and gentle ways, that after a otic men to lose their homes by taking
time they must become reconciled and too great an interest in running tills
an explanation take place that would government.
reunite them into a happy family once
Failures are but rungs ill the ladder
more, but when that time comes it will
l>e a little chilli who will lead them. flint leads higher if you are the right
It was a pathetic scene, and one tliat I kind of a climber.
will not soon forget.
Some persona are unhappy lieeause
• • ••
they have such a jMsir opinion of them
A little tot of four years was kneeling
selves.
by her lied and saying her prayers the
other night. .She bad asked blessings
Some men think money is too gissi
for every member of the family, a sick to pay délits with.
friend and all her cousins, aunts, uncles,
.No man is perfect and few men aie
etc., and wound up by asking for her
sick kitten to hurry up and get well. totally bad.
CHOICE MISCELLANY NEW SHORT STORIES FACTS IN FEW LINES
A PET ECONOMY.
Almost Ever>
>lttu Muiutaiii«
Small Though It May He.
One,
match about you?" asked the
ter of the chief buyer.
"Wolnler you wouldn't buy matches
once in awhile!" growled the buyer.
‘I've been supplying you with matches
for years.” •
"I never buy mutches never have
and never will,” suid the bookkeeper.
*11 is my pet economy. Most every
Sum lias one."
And tlie laiokkeepvr was right. Near
ly every man Ims u pet economy and
will go to a great length to Indulge it.
At the Union dull they still tell of a
worthy old member who was particular
about using a certain kind of soap, but
was not willing to buy it. They used
the soap at the club, anil lie uppropri-
»ted the cakes as fast as be needed
iheui. He needed ao many that the
steward changed tlie brand.
Tlie same spirit of economy in small
tilings makes other people stuff them
selves with bread In order that no but
ter may be left on tlieir plate and wast
'd. Hundreds of men would not dream
of buying a lead pencil. To save buy
ing stationery others write tbeir let
ters at hotels which are generous In
providing writing materials. Scores of
men and women save pennies by pick
ing up discarded newspapers in the ele
vated trains and ferrylwats. Alni so
it goes. It is not so much tlie actual
money saved that moves people in
these little schemes; rather an inborn
lesire to economize in something,
But to return to tlie bookkeeper, tlie
buyer ami tlie matches. Tlie bookkeep
er continued:
"You are stingy with your old match
es. I'll Just lake a lot, and then I'll be
independent of you.”
Then lie emptied out half the box.—
New York Tribune.
SHOES.
Aa to lloetor«1 and Lawyer.’ Fees.
The Wavy Had Io Walt.
In conversation the other day a prom
inent lawyer remarked to a physician
of repute that the Plant estate, amount
ing to some $49,000,990, would bring
the lawyers about $1.900,000 as fees.
The doctor asked the lawyer:
"Mr. F.. suppose Mr. Plant were dy
ing. but, there lielng a chance of saving
ills life by a difficult operation, a sur
geon should operate and save Mr.
Plant's life. Would that surgeon be
justified in sending In a bill for $100,-
0007”
The immediate answer was, “Certain,
ly not!”
“Well,” asked Dr. AL, "how is It
tliat tin* lawyers can charge such large
fees?”
"Because.” replied the advocate, “a
lawyer's fees are fixed by the courts.”
And tlie celebrated physician, whose
office fee of $10 is often grudgingly
paid, remarked:
“You lawyers have solved the prob
lem of self preservation, while we are
spending our time In the preservation
of others.”
The house committee on naval af
fairs was in session. As the members
wery considering Important matter» the
discussion whs more or less heated.
Tlie day was warm, and the windows
which look out on the white marble
walls of the court of the capitol were
wide open. Mr. Kltchin was giving his
views when the strains of "Go ’Way
Buck and Sit Down” by a steam cal
liiqie found their way into tlie room.
Mr. Mudd arose from his seat, took his
hat from tlie rack ami departed from
the room. The music seemed to be
getting nearer, ami Mr. Wheeler fol
lowed Mr. Mudd. Mr. Dayton next dis
covered that Kltchin was not saying
anything that interested him, and he
closed the door of the committee room
from the outside. Mr. Loudenslager
and Mr. Bull held a whispered conver
sation ami smiled defiantly at Chair
man Foss as they made tracks in the
direction of the circus parade. So tlie
members of tlie committee faded away
until Mr. Kltchin was talking to a sin
gle auditor. Mr. Foss.
“Mr. Chairman,” said Mr. Kitchin,
suddenly breaking off from his argil
ment. "that circus parade must be a
pretty good one or else tlie committee
would have remained to listen to my
remarks. I move that the committee
postpone consideration of the needs of
tlie navy until the circus leaves town.”
Mr. Foss <l>*clared tlie motion carried,
ami then lie and Mr. Kitchin hurried
out to see tlie elephants march by.—
Washington Cor. Chicago News.
Beginning of American Polo.
James Gordon Bennett, the proprie
tor of tlie New York Herald, was the
leading spirit in Intrialuelng polo into
this country. It was he that dined in
1876 at his own residence, which still
stands on tlie northeast corner of Fifth
avenue and Thirty-eighth street, New
York city, tlie following gentlemen:
Messrs. William Jay. William B. Doug
lass, Charles G. Francklyn, Winnie
Thorn, Perry Belmont, John Mott,
Samuel Howland and Lord Mandeville.
Ouahf tu Have Remembered Don,
It was decided to bring from Texas a
Congressman Sibley of Pennsylvania
carload of cow ponies, and, until with can never recall a name or a face and
in a short time, there has hung in the Is considerably handicapped thereby.
Meadow Brook clubhouse, on Long Is It is said of him that once he was in a
land, a list of tbese ponies, distributed
by lot among tlie diners at an average
cost of $20 each. The first game was
played during that winter in the old
frame Dickel Riding academy, where
now stands the Union League club,
corner of Fifth avenue anti Thirty
ninth street, and play was later con
tlnued at Jerome Park race course at
Fordham in 1.877.
••Mary Jane” In London.
On Sunday afternoon when Mary
Jane goes out with her soldier you see
Never wear leather sole linings io the streets fairly lighted up with the
stand upon. White cotton drilling or gayety of the colors she displays. Her
linen is lieuII Ider.
hat is a marvel of invention. Her
Never wear a shoe with a sole nar wages, which have gone up in a dec
rower than the outline of tlie foot ade from £16 to £29. are spent upon
traced with a pencil close under the dress and such dress! She will not
rounding edge.
come to you unless you keep a footman
Never wear a shoe witli a sole turn and a butler. Her duties, defined by
ing up very much at tlie toes, as this herself, are to clean the ornaments and
causes the cords on tlie lipper part of to look after one or two rooms. Clean
the foot to contract.
windows? Never! Wash a handker
Never have the top of the boots tight, chief? No. Tliat belongs to the laun
is It Interferes with the action of the dress’ department, etc. Therefore it is
calf muscles, makes one walk badly found convenient to move Into flats,
and spoils the shape of the ankle.
and tlie rents of Mayfair mansions go
Never think that the feet will grow down and down until they In turn are
large from wearing proper shoes. finally turned Into flathouses them
" you don ' t remember me ? "
Pim-liing and distorting make them selves. The small families who occupy
grow not only large, but unsightly. A them are readily adapting themselves New York hotel when a blond nius-
proper natural use of all the muscles to household cares without a maid's tnelied gentleman walked lip to him
makes them compact and attractive.
assistance.—London Letter In Town ami hade him good morning.
“Good morning,” said Sibley in an
and Country.
uncertain manner.
A Sure Thing:.
"You don’t remember me?” queried
Con den sat I ou.
A tattered, forlorn miss of fifteen
If science goes on discovering new tlie stranger.
summers entered the office of a young
"No." confessed Sibley.
real estate man tlie other day. Ordi means of condensing things for us,
"I have met you many times,” re
narily lie is tlie politest of individuals, there seems to be every reason to be
but tills day lie was so busy tliat lie lieve that the time Is at hand when marked the gentleman.
Sibley grew a little bit annoyed. “If
didn’t know "where he was at.” So, existence will mean nothing but tab
witli a swift glance out of tlie corner of loids from the cradle to the grave. The you cannot tell me your name.” lie said.
great French chemist Berthelot de "I shall have to pass on.”
his eye, lie said rather sharply:
"I am Don Cameron,” was tlie la
clares it quite possible to exist without
"Well, what do you want?”
"P-p-p-lease. mister, won't you buy any of the foods we now possess, even conic answer.
a ticket on our cuckoo clock?” replied milk being dispensed with, but at pres
An Antique One Year Old,
ent the process is too costly to be of
In tlie reading room of the senate It-
use, but he hopes some day this cost
may be overcome. And as another brary is a tine old marble mantel of
French chemist Ims invented a method pure colonial style which is as old as
of compressing sea air Into tabloids it the capitol itself. Above this mantel
Is obvious that life will not be wortli is a large plate glass mirror surround
ticket."
ed by a gold frame of antique design
bought. Kansas City Independ- living at all in tlie coming by and by
If the pilule system is adopted, We to match the mantel. A New England
shall care nothing for early asparagus senator who prides himself on ills ex
•‘Dog'«'(»oil Winter.**
or strawberries; ducks and game, salm pert knowledge of tilings antique stood
A man from North Carolina who was on and the spring chicken will cense to in front of tin* tireplace admiring both
visiting in I’liiladelpliin in tlie course bo, and the flying machine means of the mantel and tlie mirror.
"What a magnificent old mirror!” he
of conversation used the expression locomotion will render us indifferent to
exclaimed. "1 have never seen any
“dogwood winter.”
scenery.
thing so genuinely antique since I dis
“What do you mean by dogwood
Glasgow Old Fogylsh.
covered down in an old shop in Virginia
winter?" asked ills host.
“Glasgow is quite free from corrup a mirror which had been band carved
"Don’t you really know what dog
wood winter is?" demanded the mail tion, but there is considerable bosh It) England in the year 1723. 1 suppose
from Hickory. N. C. “There is always about the ideal municipal government this mirror was as old as tlie bills
a spell of it in May when tlie dogwood of the city,” said a Glasgow man now when it was brought to the capitol and
tree is in bloom. For several days touring this country to an Interviewer that It has been stored away in some
there is cold, disagreeable, cloudy the other day. "The public improve lumber room. Where did you get it?”
weather and often a touch of frost. ments are far behind those of many
“It was made to order last year,”
Down our way it never fails, and we cities in the United States. The elec quietly replied tlie clerk.
-all it dogwood winter. I thought the tric lights are queer, old fashioned
tilings, and the city permitted the con
phrase was general."
Amos Shook Hla Flat.
struction of overhead wires for the
Whenever the late Amos J. Cum
street railways. Commissions were mings made a speech in congress,
The Colors Iu Battle.
Some people may not know that the sent to various cities to look into elec which was not often, be always bad a
colors are not now taken Into action. tric light systems and electric railway good audience. He talked with great
Before a corps proceeds on service they systems. I can't imagine where they vehemence on whatever subject lie had
ire placed in safe custody, as suits went, for they brought back a lot of In hand and flung Ids arms about like
mill honorable insignia, and "when very old fashioned ideas.”
flails.
lolniny comes marching borne again”
He was always furious at Interrup
they will be all the fresher for not be-
Smoke Made t'.eful.
tions. A few weeks before the begin
ng carried through dusty lands and
In many of the towns of Belgium a ning of the illness that proved fatal,
trying rivers. The men whose duty novel method of making use of smoke when he was talking John Wesley
t would have been to carry them and lias lately be >n employed. Tlie scheme Gaines of Tennessee, who originated
stand by them to the last are nowa is worthy of particular notice because the idea of asking questions of every
days employed In less sentimental, if it not only does away with the "smoke man who gets up to talk, asked him
liore useful, duties.
nuisance,” Imt turns it into profit. The some irrelevant question. Cummings
smoke is driven by a ventllating fan shook bis list at Gaines and roared:
“You keep out of my speech.”
into a filter of porous material over
I iK’ertaln Alton! Iler Age.
Gaines thought Cummings intended
A Boston servant, like many of her which pours a continuous stream of
class, does not know her age. She has petroleum, benzine, alcohol or some to jump over the desks at 1dm and
lived with one family eleven years and liquid hydro carbon Hows. Thus tlie didn't ask another question that day.
lias always been twenty eight. But smoke is entirely suppressed, and the
Rhode«' Retort to the Kaiser.
not long ago she read in the newspaper filter yields a gas of great heatiu;
Among the stories being told of the
of an old woman who laid died at the power which may lie used In niant
age of 106. "Maybe I'm ns auld as that ways. The material in the filter u I ho late Cecil Rhodes is tills: When taking
leave of tlie German emperor after
mesilf,” said she. “Imbide. 1 can’t re- becomes n g< oil fuel.
several interviews in relation to Afri
mimber the time when I wasn't alive.”
Shaiu C'bnmpaicnr.
ca. his majesty said, “I wish you were
—Boston Christian Legist er.
American apples are cored, sliced a German, Mr. Rhodes, for then I
All Kschnngr of FnnrtesleH.
and dried, sent to France and there would ask you to become my minister
"No, suli," said Mr. Eraatus Pinkly, converted into cider. With tlie addi- of foreign affairs.” The kaiser was
tion of carbonic acid gns and yeast somewhat startled at tills characteris
"I nebber sold my vote to txdxxly.”
• nd a little flavoring powder, the cider tically blunt reply: "If your majesty
"But that candidate gave you $2.”
"Ynsslr. I doesn't demsdiit. lie Jes' becomes champagne, and much of It were only nil Englishman. I would
come along an' glninif'dat two, an' ?omcs to England and Is drunk under have suggested that you come to South
when a gemmau comes along an* gives ;he delusion that It is of the best Africa with me and become my busi
ness manager.”
you $2 fob miffin' ft ain't no mo’ dan irand.—London Family Doctor.
common reciprocity to vote foil 'Im fob
miffin'.”—Washington Star.
III n Filini liixtricl ionw.
II. Dldh't.
“Do you believe in signs?”
"No. A dentist's sign reading ‘Teeth
Extracted Without Pilin' fell the other
day Just as I went under it and knock
ed out two teeth of mine!"—Cincinnati
Commercial Tribune.
An old darky who was fearful of he
Ing burled ulivo loft tbese final inaliate
tlons:
"Attor m.v timo come I lemme stay cz
long ez posslble. Doll'l make de fu
Thought He Wna Smart.
nera! sermoni tisi lon(. kaze dat’ll
Wife- Ko you mean to Insinuate that
niake me sleep only de sounder; but your Judgment is superior to mine?
blow de diiiner lio'n ov< r me. Ef dat
Husband— Certainly not, niy dear.
dou't wake me. I Is »I »' gone!”—At Our choice of life partners proves It
lauta Cunstltution.
Isn't
A Secondary Consideration.
The plants in Kew gardens are being
poisoned by Loudon smoke fog.
The amount of French capital invest
ed iu China exceeds $190.000,1)00.
Jamaica hopes to export over 12,000.-
O hi bunches of bananas this year.
Jn some New Zealand towns there
are more women voters thau men.
For every 100 deaths in rural dis
tricts In England there are 118 in town
districts.
Agrurlau crimes of violence are few
er in Ireland now than at any time
since 1879.
The growth of girls is greatest in
tbeir fifteenth year, of boys In their
seventeenth.
Orders have been Issued in India for
the return to store of all ammunition
containing dumdum bullets.
Tlie Laplanders are the shortest
people in Europe, men averaging 4
feet 11 inches, women 4 feet 9 inches.
Golf has been played for i he first
time on the historic battlefield of Bn-
saco, the players being some English
visitors.
The highest of all navigable rivers
is the Tsaugpo. which flows for nearly
I, 000 miles at an elevation of from
II, 000 to 14,000 feet.
There are altogether thirty miles of
bridges on the Siberian railway. Tlie
longest is tliat over the Yenisei, at
Krasnoyarsk, Just half a mile.
Since the introduction of penny In
the slot meters tlie total consumption
of gas in certain districts in Berlin has
increased by nearly 700 per cent.
In nearly every street in Japanese
cities is a public oven where for a
small fee housewives may have their
dinners and suppers cooked for them.
Any one attending a spiritulist seance
in Bohemia is liable to a fine of $40, ac
cording to a decree which has been is
sued by the governor of the province.
Arabic is tlie sacred language of 200,-
000,000 people who dwell in all quar
ters of the globe, and at least 2,000.000
are now under the care of tlie United
States in tlie Philippine Islands.
It is reckoned tliat tlie United States
government owns enough arid land
west of the Rocky mountains, if irri
gated. to provide homes for the total
present population of tlie country.
Excavations now being made in tlie
Forum at Rome resulted in the discov
ery of n tomb supposed to date from
an epoch anterior to tlie time generhl-
ly assigned for tlie foundation of tlie
city.
Tlie oldest steam engine at work Is
believed to be a Newcomen winding en
gine nt i'arme colliery. Rutlierglen,
near Glasgow. It was built in 1809
and has worked continuously to the
present time.
It Is proposed to extend the basement
galleries under tlie large courtyard at
tlie British museum and to transform
tlie two large wings now used for resi
dential and official purposes into exhi
bition galleries.
Tlie steamer Mure recently made the
trip from Singapore to London, 11,830
miles, using only petroleum for fuel.
It required nlsint eighteen tons per
day. It would have taken twenty-four
to twenty live tons of the best coal.
Ashington, in the center of the North
umberland (England) colliery district,
has accommodation in its clubs for one-
sixth of its inhabitants. It also boasts
tlie largest public house bar, which will
accommodate 3,000 thirsty miners at a
time.
Many relics of pre-IIellenic civiliza
tion have Just been unearthed near
Naples. Among other things discov
ered were several articles of gold and
silver and a quantity of feminine Jew
elry, all of the greatest nretuvologlcal
value.
**
The 2.500 inmates of tlie New York
almshouse last year were fed at a per
capita of about to cents a day. These
persons lived on bread and coffee for
breakfast, bread and stew for dinner
and bread ami tea for suppef, without
sugar, butter or vegetables.
"No darkened house, no durable cof
fin, no special mourning attire, no
bricked grave, no unnecessary show, no
avoidable expense and no unusual eat
ing and drinking." Such are a few of
tlie advantages offered to members of
tlie British Funeral Reformers’ asso
ciation.
Witbin a few years the accuracy in
I lie production of both flat and round
surfaces lias been so increased that tlie
speed of engines inis been multiplied
by three. Witli tlie accurate bearings
of tlie present tlie tripled speed gives
less trouble from heating and cutting
than did the slow speed of former
years.
For a consideration a company lias
Just been formed in France to relieve
parliamentary candidates of all the
worries of a general election. Posters,
agents, orators, audiences all are
found. Veters, however, are not sup
plied. but If the candidate is not elect
ed the company guarantees to refund
a third of whatever lie may have paid
to secure his return.
The German Imperial council of
health has issued tables referring to
cancer. They show that the number
of cases has materially Increased since
1892, the proportion of Increase sur
passing that of tin* population. Tlie
age of the subjects averages younger
than in former years. Women are
more frequently affected than men. but
<lo not succumb to tlie cancer in ns
large a proportion.
Boston Is clamoring for a new cus
tom house and expects the next con
gross to appropriate money for tlie
erection of a bigger and better ar
ranged building than tlie present old
structure on State street. The city's
merchants sa.v that with collections
exceeding $20.<XM).(XK> a year and much
money now pH Id for rent of outside
premises the port merits the new bu id
!ng and the government would profit
by erecting it.
The Wife.
“She's alius so 'fraid of somebody
"Suppose I were an absolutely per
swipin' dat dog."
fect woman,” site remarked sharply.
“Am It wuff nnyt’ing?”
•'Do you know what you'd do then?"
“Waal. In dis by ah neighborhood a
“No,”
answered
her
husband.
t'lng doan’ have to be wuff nuffin to "What?”
git swiped.”—Puck,
“You'd growl because you had noth
ing
to growl about.”—Chicago Post.
Mlaanderstood,
"And we have one baby,” said the
meek man who was applying for
board. “Will you mind It?”
"Mind it?” snapped the thin faced
landlady. "Of course not. Do you
think I'm a Durs«?”—Chicago News
»
d Sad Case.
Pat—Poor Mike Is did.
Terry—Yfs. He nlver aven lived ti
injoy bls life Insurance.—Baltimoi f
World.