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About Bandon recorder. (Bandon, Or.) 188?-1910 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 16, 1902)
.»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»♦»* spicy fragrance. Many stopped to gaze A LIVING BAROMETER at her lieautiful pinks, their attention being attracted by the fragrance of the The Crnl'lllie 1'plder Tint 1'Ofces eft jueata.i'a V/cathcr Sharp. lieautiful flowers. itit*n« of Nrw«, in Yucatan, a laud of many curiosi a»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»* Jostle» John M. Ilarluii of the United »»»» ties, there Is a living barometer in the Kioto supreme court, win u h practle- Two young ladies who are tired of tiie form of a small spider, called "am” on big lawyer in LoulsviUe, once tried Id. All lovers of carnations will be inter hum-drum life of waiting on customers account of the effect produced by It, hand at newspaper work, taking the ested in the following item. At the in a dry-gtsKls store have a unique idea poison. As fur as Its own conduct goes, place of a personal friend, then editor of the Louisville Commercial. The jus coining annual flower show to beheld iu view for making a living. They have tlie Insect Is Inoffensive and can be tice got along nil right writing editori in Convention Hall, Kansas City, Mo., stood behind the counter for years bandied with Impunity, but it anybody als, but bad Ideas as to news that were a prize of one hundred dollars has been measuring oil' yards and yards of laces lias tlie misfortune to get one myslrrl- at variance with those of the city edi ottered for the most perfect pink carna and ribbons, have saved nothing, and ously mixed with ills food lie 1« certain tor. tion. The late President McKinley iiave lived as economically as they to die after a few hours and meanwhile One of the reporters had written a usually wore a pink carnation in his for some unexplained reason will fre they could. One of the girls was raised quently clever account of a man who had fallen ejaculate “Am, am, am!” hence button-hole, and tlie prize-winner in on a farm not many miles distant from the name of the spider. Throughout from the fourth story of a building and escaped without serious Injury. It this class will be named tiie “McKin Han Francisco, and she is going back to the peninsula this is affirmed to be a made a story of about a column in ley.” The most elaborate plans have the old home accompanied by her fact, and If an am falls into fodder of length. With a proof of the article in been made for tlie show, which expects friend, and with her father’s consent horses or mules the animal that swal his hand the temporary editor came to exhibits from all parts of the country. and assistance they are going to raise lows it surely dies. the city editor and said: A unique feature of tile exhibition is mushrooms for the market. They iiave This spider Is shaped like a cab, “Mr. Smith, please have this story tlie arrangement of tlie Hull, which is been studying up on the subject for minus tlie claws, and Is of a bright yel cut down. I can’t see anything In it to represent a Japanese garden, and some time, and they think they know low color, with brown spots: the big that makes it worth that space.” four hundred square feet of space in the Just how to go about it to make gest could be accommodated upou a “But it’s the 'star* story of the day, silver dime. Its favorite abode is Mr. Harlan,” gasped the astonished great arena will be devoted to natural the industry a success financially and among the leaves of the banana ahrub, news man. “I think it’s a remarkable Hower beds. They ought to have a otherwise. They will know a dainty commonly, but erroneously, called vee. story and well worth all the space giv lilieral display of California chrysanthe pink mushroom from the poisonous There it spins with extreme rapidity. mums to further carry out their idea. toadstool, and furthermore, they have Its web, which Is prodigiously large, en to it.” “I don't," said Justice Harlan. “If a They are now in their glory, and are discovered as others have done before considering the size of its architect, man bad jumped up four stories. It easily sent by express or mail, and will them, that many ot the cases of poison and proceeds to devour the flies that would certainly have been remarkable, arrive at their destination in good con ing caused by eating mushrooms, was are unlucky euough to get entangled but even a fool could fall down four dition. not traced to a toadstool at all, but to a In tlie meshes of tills astonishing ltttle stories, or half a dozen, for that mat glutton, tliat is not satisfied with less « «« « vast number of tiny bugs or insects that than a dozen a day—that Is to say, it ter.”—New York Times. Speaking of pinks reminds me of a swarm at the stem of mushrooms which consumes a good deal more than Its little lady who places the carnation iiave passed their prime, that is, the own b ’Ik. Its progeny is numerous The Driver*» Point ot View. The hotel coach was filled with a above all other flowers. To her they pink stage into the black and discol and appears at flrst like more black crowd of happy. Jubilant visitors, and are tlie gems of the floral world. Hlie ored state. Every mushroom should be specks, smaller than the smallest pin’s the horses tolled splendidly up tlie has been interested in their culture for thoroughly examined and the little head. hills. As each eminence was reached years, but has been unfortunate in prop stem removed. If there is any trouble The sky may be blue and cloudless and at every turn In the road the crowd agating them owing to the gophers, there you will And it in the little cavity when suddenly the am commences tak would burst forth Into cries of wonder which are tlie deadly enemy of the left in the mushroom when you remove ing In Its sails, or, rather, gathering in its net, with neatness and dispatch, and delight at the magnificent scenes which burst upon their view. The carnation, helping themselves to them the stem. You might boil all of your cramming the whole of the material mountain Jehu alone preserved a dig before trying any tiling else in tlie gar silver spoons with these poisonous Into Its diminutive body entirely out of nlty and silence which rather awed the den. She determined to have pinks, mushrooms and tliat would simply be sight. A few minutes completes the others. At length, after a particularly however, so she had an immense box no test at all, the poison would still Job. and the spider takes up Its posi lovely view hud been passed, one of the made of closely woven wire, and after lurk there. Tiie better precaution is to tion on the under surface of one of the guests at the driver’s left hand re giving her order for the same returned remove the stem for bugs and use the great leaves to be lulled by the gentle marked: swaying and sheltered while the storm home to dream of the carnation bed she silver for toadstools. rages. It Is for this that the am has “You don't seem to take much Inter had in mind which would lie the envy est in tlie scenery. No doubt It’s an old prepared, and never Is It mistaken. of all the neighborhood. The box Anal BRIEF REVIEW. story to you.” When the web Is taken In, rain will The driver shook bls head. “No, ly came, also the bill, but I will let her certainly fall within an hour. that’s not It,” he answered. “I Just give the balance of this o’er true inci The moment the am Is touched It Long Runs of Conductors. feigns deatli and lets Itself drop, show don’t care.” Then he leaned a little dent in her own words. As the speed of trains is accelerated ing no sign of life until again placed closer and whispered: "But I knows »»*» Iietween distant ¡siints tlie runs made just how you folks must feel. You all “The bill for that pink box paralyzed by train and Pullman car conductors upon a leaf or on the ground. Many a come from a long distance Just to see me for the moment, Polly. I won one lias lain in the palm of the writer’s things, and you’re bound to enjoy It are lenghtened out. The conductors on hand inert, all Its legs drawn close to dered what my husband would say, anyhow so ns to get your money’s Rock Island No. 21, better known as Its body, while it was examined at worth and not feel as though you was but 1 went out into the yard, got a the fast mail, run from Chicago to Des leisure, even being picked up in the cheatin’ yourselves. Oh,” said this boy to help me, and worked like a Moines, 358 miles. Returning the next lingers without its manifesting any driver In a superior tone, ”1 don't mind Trojan to get it buried and the pinks morning they lay over one and a halt life. it when 1 understand bow ’tis.”-Les planted before lie came home. We days in Chicago before coming out lie's Weekly. BEAUTY SPOTS. had the work nearly completed when again. Out on the Union Pacific con he arrived, and lie seemed to be de Ch an ae to Cliangre n «innrter. ductors on the overland and limited Try lemon Juice for whitening the “How much does it take to change a lighted with the result of my labors. neek. Apply It with a linen cloth. quarter?” asked the bartender. “Twen ‘Well, that is a bright scheme” he re mail trains run from Omaha to Chey After tlie head has been shampooed, enne and from Cheyenne to Ogden, 510 ty-five cents, eb? Not on your life. It marked, as lie took in the size of the whenever possible, give the head a sun takes seventy cents to do the trick. box, and then came that dreaded ques and 514 miles respectively. The time bath. they are on the road is, however, less How many ways do you suppose u tion, ‘How* much did it cost?’ ‘The than years ago, when the runs were less A writer states that oily hands may quarter dollar can be changed? Just made comfortable and touchable by exactly eleven. A fellow of limited bill is on the porch,’ I replied. Then I than 300 miles in length. The distance be wetting them once or twice a day while means may like the jingle of coin in dug industriously and never looked up. covered by the Pullman car conductors clean bls clothes. In flint event you enn give Not a sound came from his direction is vastly greater than those by train con vinegar. with cologne, alcohol or toilet him twenty-five pennies or twenty pen for several minutes, and then he gave ductors. From Chicago to Denver is A good circulation Is essential to the nies and one nickel. He may like to a long, low’ whistle. That is the way have a little sprinkling of silver in bls he does. He doesn’t swear and storm 1041 miles. Pullman car conductors growth of tlie hair as well as to its col clothes, and you can accommodate him like some men when things go wrong, consider this a short run. The men in or and fineness. A frequent, vigorous with fifteen pennies aud n dime or ten he merely gives that i»eculiar whistle charge of the sleeping ears on the North brushing with a stiff brush Is the best western and Union Pacific accompany method of obtaining this. pennies, a dime and a nickel. A writer upon the complexion says “If lie prefers to have chnuge bandy of his and it’s worse than strong words. their cars from Chicago to Portland, Or. for a beer and a car fare, why, fifteen You get over them quicker. Alsiut ten It takes nine days to make the round the best way to treat freckles, a sure pennies and two nickels will fix him minutes after lie said gravely, ‘That trip of nearly 4000 miles and they make cure in all but very obstinate cases, is up. and If be wants n cigar in addition, was pretty steep, wasn’t it, for that alsiut two and a half trips per month. to touch them night and morning with a camel's hair brush after dipping It in tiesides having a little stock of cash pink box? Ten dollars is a whole lot of In Ids Jenns, give him ten pennies and money. Just now when taxes are to On the Santa Fe the conductors run lemon Juice. For a greasy skin nothing is better three nickels. That makes six ways. be met and new school-books to be pur from Chicago to Han Francisco and on Now, then, a fellow with a quarter can chased, tiesides our living expenses. the Canadian Pacific they remain with than tlie combination of an ounce of trade it off for five pennies and two John doesn’t get the biggest salary in their cars on the trip across the conti dried rose leaves, half a pint of white dimes, five pennies and four nickels, nent, which consumes nearly six days wine vinegar and half a pint of rose two dimes and one nickel, one dime the world; indeed, it is very small.’ He from Postland, Me., to Vancouver and water. Let the vinegar stand on the and three nickels or five nickels, just was right, and I felt guilty enough, but Victoria. On the Illinois Central they rose leaves for a week, then add the as he prefers. And to accommodate I never dreamed it was going to cost so run from Hioux City to New Orleans. rosewater. Use a taldespoonful in a cup of distilled water. him in any way that he might select much when I ordered it. 1 really ex you have to possess twenty-five pen pected three or four dollars to cover it. They rceive $75 per month. A Geoloiclcal Fallacy. nies, two dimes and five nickels—sev But then and there 1 made up my mind Probably the most wild and unjusti enty cents In all.”—Philadelphia Rec that 1 should make this pink Ixix pay Artiflcial wool made from turf fibres ord. Is now employed at Dusseldorf, Ger fiable of all tlie crude beliefs respect for itself. many, for manufacturing cloth, band ing geological resources Is that which »»»» Pou ii <1 Fool I ft tineas. ages, hats, rugs and so forth. Ten years holds to the conviction tliat by going One of tlie commonest forms of pound “I worked harder than ever to make deep enough tlie drill Is sure to find have elapsed since tlie first attempts to s< niethlng of value, no matter at what foolishness is countenanced by many that carnktion bed a success, planted high authorities. Tills is the purchase only t he most choice varietiesand plan t- make turf wool, and it is averred that point the work of boring is commenced. of certain household provisions in largo ed seed galore, Anally succeeding in recent improvements in the processes There are numerous wise persons in quantities. Few writers on domestic have resulted in the production of a soft every community, estimable, influen getting two pinks that were entirely topics fall to lay stress upon tlie econ fibrous material, which can lie spun as tial and In the highest degree public omy of buying groceries In bulk. That new. 1 had a friend in the floral busi readily as sheep’s wool, and which, lie spirited who are convinced tliat the sugar and flour, potatoes and apples ness in Han Francisco and 1 eon tided sides possessing excellent absorbent question, for example, of finding coal should be bought by the half or whole to him my woes and he promised to In their special locality is simply a barrel, cereals by the case, butter by take all the pinks 1 could send him, qualities, is capable of being bleached matter of tlie depth to which the ex and colored for use in various textile in the lull and other tilings In like propor and as a result I have up to date cleared plorations are carried. Rock oil and tion Is one of tlie early precepts In tlie lifty dollars off my earnation Ixix. dustries. natural gns are recognized ns desirable •’Young Housekeeper's Complete Guide Not only that, but 1 have sold them products In every progressive commu Taxes for Any Old Thing. to Domestic Economy.” nity, and every such community con yardsand yards of smilax besides many Home of tlie most peculiar of taxa tains persons In other respects Intelli The Ignorant young tilings buy the clusters of mignonette and bachelor provisions first and the experience aft tions recorded are to be found in the ar gent who are ready to stake their own erward. The flour grows musty, the buttons. Our unsightly backyard fence chives of Holland. In 1791, for instance, fortune and that of their nearest cereals develop weevils, tlie potatoes has been converted into a tiling of there was in existance a tax imposed on friends on the belief that oil and gas and apples rot long before they can be beauty by choice sweet peas that run all passengers (traveling in Holland. are everywhere underneath the surface eaten, and the cook exercises n lavish riot over the old board fence. For this In 1874 a duty of 2 shillings was levied and tliat their sources can be tapped ness In the use of tlie butter and sugnr I stretched wire netting the entire with the drill provided only there Is she would never show were they bought length. It was of the cheapest kind on each person who entered a tavern lie- sufficient capital to keep up the process fore noon, on those who entered a place In such limited amounts that tlie house and had large meshes that gave plenty of drilling long enough,—Mines and of entertainment, on marriages and Minerals. keeper could hold close watch over of room to twine tile little green ten them. Even after these events the on many other things. If a person was Loncllne.. and Health. young mistress feels ns If she were ab drils through and give the vines a buried out of the district to which lielie- A medical journal has of late been solutely reckless and no manager at all chance to climb. I cannot begin to longed the tax was 'payable twice over. discoursing on tlie Indigestion of lone when she so far departs from house tell you of the baskets of sweet peas 1 liness. By this title Is meant to be in hold law as to buy food In small quan have sent to the Han Frencisco florist. According to the recent studies of Sig dicated the disorders of digestion which tities.—Independent. My husband Is as proud of my success with the flowers its I am, and he often nor de Hanctis of Turin, children begin are believed to follow the practice of Her Pet Name. to dream before their fourth year, but tnklng one’s meals In solitary state. “Ah!” he sighed after she had bltish- says that was the luckiest ten dollars are unable to recall dreams liefore the Tlie topic Is by no means an uninter ingly whispered “Yes” in his bosom. he ever paid out, even if he did give age of Ave. This age, he concludes, is esting one. Thousands of men and wo “My own Mehltabeli Oh, that name's that long, low whistle of his that al men living alone nre compelled to take so formal! Surely your friends use ways fairly freezes me and is every bit- that at which a child flrst becomes in their meals for tlie most part without some shorter one, some pet name!” as doleful as a funeral dirge, or that old stinctively conscious of self. Aged peo company. Week In and week out they “Well,” she murmured, “the girls at hymn, good in its place, “Gome Ye ple dream less; frequently and less feed themselves without a soul to talk boarding school used to call me Pic Disconsolate.” 1 have more spending vividly than young. Women’s dreams to. and the medical Journal devotes Its kles.”—Philadelphia Press. money than 1 ever had before. I am are nyire frequent, more vivid, and bets energies to showing that the practice Is not one that Is likely to be conducive healthier, for I spend a great deal of my ter remembered than those of men. An Expert. to digestion, to‘proper bodily nourish Professor—If a person in good health, time in the garden instead of being Tlie annual report concerning the ment r to health. The solltnry man but who Imagined himself sick, should cooped up in the bouse with sewing < mm 1 supply of Paris for 1900 contains soon i vs of merely eating, and, If lie Is send for you. what would you do? and cooking. It pays me lietter to get not i f a literary turn of mind, his tend Medical Student — Give him some some one else to attend to these less some interesting figures. Here is the ency i ■ to hurry through bis meals to thing to make him sick and then ad pleasant duties and devote my time to I official average of what a Parisian eats es< apt from Ids loneliness Into the so- minister an antidote. and drinks in one year. Two hundred cli • of Ills fellow men. Herein. It Is Professor — Don't waste any more raising buds and blossoms.” and forty-two eggs, 19.20 poundsof but in Id lu s a danger to health. »»»» time here. Hang out your shingle.— ter, 3.05 pounds of ready-cooked butch New York Weekly. Going back to pinks or carnations. I ers meat, 34.92 pounds of Ash, 154.70 IJiMcovrry of Cotti In Wales. have another friend who is a worshijier pounds of beef, 25.38 pounds of pork During the reign of Henry VIII. In Temptation's War, many attempts were mnde to discover of flowers, but pinks are her hobby as Jones—Has your wife got her new well, and like tlie little lady above, she and 27.83 (siunds of fowl and game. coni In north Wales, and a Shrewsbury hat yet? Man loves to lie praised for his intui man. named Richard Gardner, was the Brown—No; I’ve given her the money lias gophers to con tend with. Hhehad no tion, woman for her logic. As a mle, only person who succeeded. The old wire ls>x to plant them in, but site chose for It several times, but she has spent records rend: “He attemptyd and put It on some great, glorious bargain she another novel plan that succeeded be neither possess either. Into proofe to fynde out coles about the yond her utmost expectations. She saw before she got to the milliner shop. town (Shrewsbury) In soondry plncys, —Detroit Free Press. saved tier yeast powder cans and cut Greatness is to take the common and In one place ospedali callyd Ema the bottoms oil'. These she sank into things of life and walk truly among tine Haye, hard by the sayd towne. he Some people expect fortune to break the earth and planted her pinks in them. found by bls great dyllgence and troliall In the door and announce her arrival them. Tiie gopher seemed to think a great store of see cole, the which is Give a Isiy a dime, and he immedi lyke to come much comraoditie bothe through a megaphone.—Nashville Ban trap had been set for him and never ner. went below tiie bottom of the can to at ately begins to look around for his hat. to the riche and poore, that he Is not only worthy of commendacou and About the only way to convert some tack the roots. Hhe had alsiut seventy- mayntennnee, but also to be hnd In re To learn the worth of a man ’ s religion five varieties of pinks, both double and people Is to 'eave them alone.—Dallas membrance for ever."—Cardiff West do bi siness with him. single, and the air was Ailed with tiieir | New*. ern Unii. CAMION RECORDER. ; Polly Larkin * A QUESTION OF TEETH. Did the Immortal George Wear Ar» tlflrlal or Natural One.t “George Washington’s false teeth, which were supposed to have been made of ivory, are giving a certain class of freak historians about as much trouble as they must have given the venerable piltriot who wore them,” said one of the professors of the Smithsonian institution to a reporter recently. "Many times a year for several years this Institutlou lias been called upon to produce these mysterious teeth for the inspection of persons who Insist that they are here. “Our matter of fact answer to these inquiries that Washington hnd no false teeth, or at least If lie did, that they nre not in the possession of the mu seum, seems only to stimulate the in quiring mind to protest our statement. They proceed to give us authentic ac counts of these teeth and always con clude with expressing the belief that they must lie in the museum some where. “Where or how the idea that Wash ington hail false teetli originated Is an unsolved mystery. That it is firmly be lieved by many is certainly a fact. There seems to be no authentic record of the Father of His Country possess ing ivory teeth, and by a study of the bust we have of him, which was made but a few years liefore his death, there is no Indication of an Indentation along the line of tlie gums such as can be noticed In persons who have had their teetli drawn, even though they wear artificial ones. However, we will con tinue to answer tlie same question in the same way probably many times in tlie future." According to some biographers Washington lost his teeth during his service us commander In chief of the Continental army and Had a set of Ivory ones made. These teeth. It is al si stated, gave him much trouble be cause they did not fit.—Washington Star. RAILWAY RUMBLES. Ireland clnlms tlie honor of the flrst electric railway in tlie United King dom. It is said that tlie cheapest railway lares lu tlie world nre to lie found in Hungary. Denmark lias a government railroad system of 1,107 miles and 525 miles of private railroads. The Servian. Roumanian and Bulga rian railroads are owned exclusively by the respective governments. Travelers on Prussian railways whose baggage, through no fault of their own, fails to arrive with them can now iiave It sent on request free to their bouses. Tlie difficulty of railway construction in some purls of Africa is illustrated by the fact tliat on tlie Freetown-Mat- tru line, in S erra Leone, eleven steel bridges had to be built in a distance of only thirty kilometers. A representative of the Purls Temps has been examining railway stations In Germany, ami he declares that those of Dresden, Cologne. Hanover, Frankfort, Bremen, etc., are far superior to any of the French except the Parisian. I’nilnK a Creditor. Like many another famous man both before Ills time and since, Talleyrand exhibited, at least in early life, a great reluctance to settling with Ills credit ors. When lie was appointed bishop of Autun by Louis XVI., he considered a fine new coach to be necessary to the proper maintenance of tlie dignity of tliat office. Accordingly a coach was ordered and delivered, lint not paid for. Some time after, ns the newly appoint ed bishop was about to enter bls conch, he noticed a strange man standing near who bowed continually until the coach was driven away. This occurred for several days until nt length Talley rand. addressing the stranger, said: “Well, my good man. who are you?” “I am your coacliniaker. my lord,” replied the stranger. "Ah." saiil Talleyrand, "you are my eoachmaker! And what do you want, my coaelininker?" "I want to lie paid, my lord.” “Ah, you are my eoachmaker. and you want to be paid? You shall be paid, m.v concli maker.” "But when, my lord?" "Hnnt." said Talleyrand, settling himself comfortably among the cush ions of Ills new conch atq) eying bls eoachmaker severely, “you are very Inquisitive!" Si.lud Katina Good Sriue. Even men are progressing gastronom- Ically. Scientific dietetics has at last revealed to us the fact that the woman who eats salad on a hot day In July, August or September Is displaying sound gastronomic sense, says Wlint to Ent. The long haired dreamer In the restaurant may have been nineteen dif ferent kinds of a fool upon every other proposition in life, but he knew what to eat on a hot day. The human ani mal needs grass or Its equivalent In summer. With their oil the salads sup ply everything a man physically needs In hot weather. All the civilized races of the world nre salad eaters.but Amer icans eat less than do any other people. It Is not a sign of mental decay or mor al degeneracy for s man to eat salad; It Is gastronomic sense. A DOMESTIC COMEDY. THE VARIED RESULTS OF REARRANG ING THE FURNITURE. My «hort ind happ> <tay 1» don*! The long and lonely night comes OS And st my door I lie pale horse .tai To carry tue to unknown lands. Hl» whinny shrill, his pawing hoot, Sound dreadful aa a gathering atom And 1 must leave this sheltering root An.l joys ot life ao soft and warm. K>i. Dlank’n Mania For Changing (he Appearance of the Hoorn» Bronglit Trouble to the Male Con- tlntfent and Sorrow to Herself. “Do you change the position of t be furniture when you clean a room ?" Inquired housewife No. 1 of a frieu't la the course of a heart to beari mix. "Do I? Why, yes. Indeed! I don’t feel as if the room Is cleaned unless ! change the furniture a little bit. Do you ?” “Well. I usually change the orna meats around and so forth, but iu the spring aud fall 1 like to change every thing In a room—completely alter the whole appearance of It. Then 1 fancy the things nre all new, and they seem to look prettier somehow. But, do you know, my husband doesn’t like It nt all!” “Neither does mine! Isn’t that singu lar? Men are so peculiar!” “Yes, indeed they are!” So many housekeepers share the views of these two tliat a story with a moral will not be out of place. It was the other night only tliat Mr. Blank went unsuspiciously up stairs to bed at an unusually early hour, leaving his wife rending In the sitting room. He had a beadache and carried a gob let of water In Ids right hand. Fear lessly advancing Into the dark bed room Mr. Blank suddenly felt both legs violently cut from under him. He clutched wildly at the air and said several things of an exclamatory na ture. but there was nothing to save him. He went down. "Good gracious. Henry!” ejaculated Mrs. Blank, hurry lug to the scene of disaster. “What is the matter? Where are you? Why don’t you light the gas?” Suiting the action to the word, she beheld her husband sprawl ing across the bed; the glass he liad carried had discharged Its contents across the pillowshams and shivered on the’ floor. Mr. Blank did the talking for the next ten minutes. He said that of all the blankety blank folly of which the mind could conceive tills of changing furniture around was the worst. He said It was a pretty thing for a man to walls Into Ills own room and have to fall over things In the dark. He said be wouldn’t stanil it; the furniture must be replaced where It formerly stood. “I shan’t do anything of the kind,” replied Mrs. Blank. “It looks very much nicer vvhere it is. Why don’t you feel where you are going \vben you get Into a dark room?” “S’pose you'd like me to crawl In on all fours!” snarled Mr. Blank. “1 couldn't feel where the bed wns unless I happened Io touch the footboard. I thought I could walk clear over to the bureau. I tell you It’s a confounded crank you have on this subject. Some day you'll precipitate a serious acci dent.” “If any one precipitates, It’ll be you, I should think,” retorted Mrs. Blank icily. And the furniture remained where It was. It was the next evening that Master Blank undertook to carry a pile of schoolbooks from the dining room to the sitting room. He had a bottle of Ink In bls hand, and he thought he knew exactly where the center table was. In the course of his peregrina tions In search of It, however, lie came into violent collision with the glnss door of the bookcase, which he broke. There were also Inky traces discernible on the carpet when Mrs. Blank came In. This tin» there was some balm for her feelings. She could spank Master Blank and did it with the best will In the world. Her own downfall was not long In cotnlug, however, although for a few days only minor Inconveniences were met with, such as the abrasion of an kle* against chair rockers and slight bruises received by means of sudden contact with unforeseen obstacles. Last evening Mrs. Blank undertook to trans fer the cage of her pet parrot from the window where It spends the day to the snug corner where It passes the night. She did not trouble to light the gns, and by some unaccountable mental lapse she bad forgotten the precise point nt which a tabouret, on which stood a Jar diniere, was stationed. She charged Into the tabouret with considerable force, was overbalanced by the weight of the cage in her arms and took a header with a resounding crash. The parrot shrieked, and, unable to distin guish friend from foe, Inflicted a severe bite on her mistress’ finger, Mr. Blank came in hurriedly, picked up his wife and assisted In making an Inventory of sundry contusions. Then they lifted the parrot cage, badly bent, and the Jardiniere with a piece chipped out of It aud the tabouret somewhat scratch ed, and then Mr. Blank observed quiet ly: “1 have just one thing to ask you. Mrs. Blank. Was I right?” “No, you were not!” retorted Mrs. Blank savagely. “Serious accident? Wiiat’s serious about this. I should like to know? For goodness' sake, Henry, don’t stand there trying to look like a martyr! If you must have the furni ture moved back, I’Ll move It!” And «be did.—Philadelphia Record. Preoccupation. “Why do you speak so slightingly Harpers Ferry wns named after of that eminent scientist?” Robert Harper, an architect and mill "1 didn’t mean to speak slightingly builder, born In 1703 In the town o' of him,” answered the young mnn with Oxford. England. He came to Amet the atrlped shirt front, “but It does lea In 1735 with his brother Joseph teem peculiar to me that a man who and located In Philadelphia, where for knows Just when the next comet will a time he prospered but. falling later, arrive and ;uat how far It Is to tlie concluded to join the Friends of l.on moon should be so utterly ignorant doun county. Va. En route to Ills new when It conns to a question of when home he came upon the gap in the it’* time fo dinner or what train to Blue Ridge mountains, where he mnde take to get »< the p*i*re*t town.”—Boa his home. ton Traveler Ilnrprm Ferry. I p III. Nlreve. At the battle of Omdurinnn a soldier belonging to a Scotch regiment was nearly killed by a bullet which struck the ground just in front of him while he was firing in a reclining position. On rising to move a few feet forward, something came down his sleeve. It wns the bullet How It got tip his sleeve without Inflicting damage can only be accounted for by the fact that It must have been spent by the time It struck the ground In front of him and the course of Ils flight up his sleeve was its Inst billet THE STIRRUP CUP. The Change In the Tenderfoot. “This Is a remarkably healthy ell mate, they say,” said tlie easterner. “You're right tiiar,” said Arizona Al “Pr Instance, not long ago a tenderfoot with a weak chest an’ a pale face drop ped Inter the Miners’ Delight, called me n liar an’ o’ course I bad to clean up. 'Bout two months after a big sunburnt cowboy stopped me on the street, wiped the earth up with me an’ slammed me up in a tree to recuperate. Same fel ler. Best climate in the world, pard." —Indianapolis Sun. Tender and warm the Joys of Ute: Good friends, the faithful and the trues My rosy children and my wife. So sweet to kiss, so fair to view. So sweet to kiss, so fair to view; The night comes on, the lights bum blue. And at my door the pale horse stands To bear me forth to unknown lands. —John Hay. A NOVEL HOTEL BILL. The Man to Whom It Was Presented Could Not Cnder.tand It. •Talking about bookkeeping, there used to be a man In Yankton whose system of bookkeeping accounts was wonderfully efficient. He kept a hotel, and he could neither read nor write, lie did not know how to spell his own name, but he did a thriving business and collected every dollar of Ills ac counts. Once, years ago, when I flrst camo to this country, I went to bls ho tel and stopped there two weeks,” writes Milt Brlnhen. “When 1 loft, lie presented me with a statement of what 1 owed him. and It was a curiosity. He* had copied it from his ledger. At the top of the sheet there was a rude picture of a soldier on the march and after It three straight marks. Then there was a scene show ing a man at table eating. Then ap peared a bed with a man in It. In the amount column there was a picture of a doll and after It the two letters “RS.” After the picture of a man eating there were forty-two marks; after the view of the man In the bed, fourteen marks. I looked at the account, then at the proprietor, and told him It would take me a week to answer that conundrum. “I was completely stumped, and when that hotel man deciphered the amount for me it was this: The picture of tha soldier walking meant march, and the three marks supplied the date, Marell 3, when 1 began boarding. The man at the table with forty-two marks after It Indicated that 1 had eaten forty-two meals. The man In bed with fourteen marks showed that I had slept In the house fourteen nights. The doll with the ‘RS’ after It meant ‘dollars,’ and In the figure columns appeared the fig ures 14, which was the amount I ow< <1 him. And It wns a true bill.”—Yank ton Press. A PerHinn Barber. A Persian barber works In a style very different from that in vogue in this country. A typical shop is a square room, with one side open to the street. In the center Is a tiny bed of flowers sunk In the floor, from the middle of which rises an octagonal stone column about three feet high. The capital of the' column forms a receptacle for the water in which the barber dips bis hand as be shaves I s customer’s scalp. In Persia they ..o not lather. Tin1 shop is very clean. In two recesses stand four vases filled with flowers and the Implements of the barber's art—scissors, razors, lancets, hand mirrors, large pinchers to extract teeth, branding Irons to cauterize the arteries in amputating limbs, strong combs, but not a hairbrush, for that Implement is never used by Persians. From the barber’s girdle bang a round copper water bottle, his strop, and a pouch to hold his Instruments. In his bosom Is a small mirror, the presentation of which to Ills customers Is a sign tliat tlie job is finished and tliat tlie barber waits for Ills pay. The burlier shaves tlie beads of bls custom ers, dyes their beards, pulls their teeth, blisters and bleeds them when ailing, sets their broken bones and shampoos their bodies,—Exchange. Strange Lapse of Memory. Cases of forgetfulness on matters of Interest are on record. While Dr. Priestley was preparing his work en titled “Harmony of tlie Gospels” he had taken great pains to Inform him self on a subject which had been under discussion relative to the Jewish Pass- over. He wrote out tlie result of bls researches and laid the paper away. Ills attention and time being taken with something else, some little time elapsed liefore the subject occurred to ids mind again. Then tlie same time and pains were given to the subject tliat bad been given to It before, and tlie results were again put on pnper and laid aside. So completely had he forgotte i tliat lie had copied tlie same paragraphs and reflections before that It wns only when he had found tlie papers on which he hnd transcribed them tliat ft was recalled to his recol lection. Tills same author bad fre quently rend his own published writ ings and did not recognize them. Held l»y Rtlqoette. When Doin Pedro, then emperor of Brazil, was entertained nt the White House, lie had been told by a confused senator that It would be expected tliat be, tlie emperor, should lie the last of the guests to depart. Tlie president's wife,however. Inform ed her other guests tliat they would be expected to follow, not precede, tlie royal party In leaving the house. Tlie result was tliat no one dared to go for fear of a breach of etiquette. But nt 3 o'clock In tlie morning a tired woman pretended Illness, and the (lend lock was broken. Grent Is etiquette, but common sense Is sometimes allowable. * Carton. Barometer. A curious barometer Is said to be used by the remnant of the Arnucnnlan race which Inhabits the southernmost province of Chile. It consists of tlie castoff shell of n crab. The dead shell Is white In fair, dry weather, but tlie approach of a moist ntmosphere Is Indi cated by the appearance of small red spots. As the moisture In the air In creases the shell becomes entirely red and remains ao throughout the rainy season. D ob and Wolf, There has been some dispute as to the descent of tlie dog—whether it is an Improved progeny of tlie wolf or a distinct variety. That it is a different »pecles Is proved by the fact that the dog and the wolf will mate and pro duce offspring. Nevertheless It Is prob- aide tliat the dog is merely descended from the same original stock with the Wolf.
