.»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»♦»* spicy fragrance. Many stopped to gaze
A LIVING BAROMETER
at her lieautiful pinks, their attention
being attracted by the fragrance of the The Crnl'lllie 1'plder Tint 1'Ofces eft
jueata.i'a V/cathcr Sharp.
lieautiful flowers.
itit*n« of Nrw«,
in Yucatan, a laud of many curiosi
a»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»*
Jostle» John M. Ilarluii of the United
»»»»
ties, there Is a living barometer in the
Kioto supreme court, win u h practle-
Two
young
ladies
who are tired of tiie form of a small spider, called "am” on
big lawyer in LoulsviUe, once tried Id.
All lovers of carnations will be inter hum-drum life of waiting on customers account of the effect produced by It,
hand at newspaper work, taking the
ested
in the following item. At the in a dry-gtsKls store have a unique idea poison. As fur as Its own conduct goes,
place of a personal friend, then editor
of the Louisville Commercial. The jus coining annual flower show to beheld iu view for making a living. They have tlie Insect Is Inoffensive and can be
tice got along nil right writing editori in Convention Hall, Kansas City, Mo., stood behind the counter for years bandied with Impunity, but it anybody
als, but bad Ideas as to news that were a prize of one hundred dollars has been measuring oil' yards and yards of laces lias tlie misfortune to get one myslrrl-
at variance with those of the city edi ottered for the most perfect pink carna and ribbons, have saved nothing, and ously mixed with ills food lie 1« certain
tor.
tion. The late President McKinley iiave lived as economically as they to die after a few hours and meanwhile
One of the reporters had written a usually wore a pink carnation in his
for some unexplained reason will fre
they could. One of the girls was raised quently
clever account of a man who had fallen
ejaculate “Am, am, am!” hence
button-hole,
and
tlie
prize-winner
in
on a farm not many miles distant from the name of the spider. Throughout
from the fourth story of a building and
escaped without serious Injury. It this class will be named tiie “McKin Han Francisco, and she is going back to the peninsula this is affirmed to be a
made a story of about a column in ley.” The most elaborate plans have the old home accompanied by her fact, and If an am falls into fodder of
length. With a proof of the article in been made for tlie show, which expects friend, and with her father’s consent horses or mules the animal that swal
his hand the temporary editor came to exhibits from all parts of the country. and assistance they are going to raise lows it surely dies.
the city editor and said:
A unique feature of tile exhibition is mushrooms for the market. They iiave This spider Is shaped like a cab,
“Mr. Smith, please have this story tlie arrangement of tlie Hull, which is been studying up on the subject for minus tlie claws, and Is of a bright yel
cut down. I can’t see anything In it to represent a Japanese garden, and some time, and they think they know low color, with brown spots: the big
that makes it worth that space.”
four hundred square feet of space in the Just how to go about it to make gest could be accommodated upou a
“But it’s the 'star* story of the day,
silver dime. Its favorite abode is
Mr. Harlan,” gasped the astonished great arena will be devoted to natural the industry a success financially and among the leaves of the banana ahrub,
news man. “I think it’s a remarkable Hower beds. They ought to have a otherwise. They will know a dainty commonly, but erroneously, called vee.
story and well worth all the space giv lilieral display of California chrysanthe pink mushroom from the poisonous There it spins with extreme rapidity.
mums to further carry out their idea. toadstool, and furthermore, they have Its web, which Is prodigiously large,
en to it.”
“I don't," said Justice Harlan. “If a They are now in their glory, and are discovered as others have done before considering the size of its architect,
man bad jumped up four stories. It easily sent by express or mail, and will them, that many ot the cases of poison and proceeds to devour the flies that
would certainly have been remarkable, arrive at their destination in good con ing caused by eating mushrooms, was are unlucky euough to get entangled
but even a fool could fall down four dition.
not traced to a toadstool at all, but to a In tlie meshes of tills astonishing ltttle
stories, or half a dozen, for that mat
glutton, tliat is not satisfied with less
« «« «
vast number of tiny bugs or insects that than a dozen a day—that Is to say, it
ter.”—New York Times.
Speaking of pinks reminds me of a swarm at the stem of mushrooms which consumes a good deal more than Its
little lady who places the carnation iiave passed their prime, that is, the own b ’Ik. Its progeny is numerous
The Driver*» Point ot View.
The hotel coach was filled with a above all other flowers. To her they pink stage into the black and discol and appears at flrst like more black
crowd of happy. Jubilant visitors, and are tlie gems of the floral world. Hlie ored state. Every mushroom should be specks, smaller than the smallest pin’s
the horses tolled splendidly up tlie has been interested in their culture for thoroughly examined and the little head.
hills. As each eminence was reached years, but has been unfortunate in prop stem removed. If there is any trouble The sky may be blue and cloudless
and at every turn In the road the crowd agating them owing to the gophers, there you will And it in the little cavity when suddenly the am commences tak
would burst forth Into cries of wonder which are tlie deadly enemy of the left in the mushroom when you remove ing In Its sails, or, rather, gathering in
its net, with neatness and dispatch,
and delight at the magnificent scenes
which burst upon their view. The carnation, helping themselves to them the stem. You might boil all of your cramming the whole of the material
mountain Jehu alone preserved a dig before trying any tiling else in tlie gar silver spoons with these poisonous Into Its diminutive body entirely out of
nlty and silence which rather awed the den. She determined to have pinks, mushrooms and tliat would simply be sight. A few minutes completes the
others. At length, after a particularly however, so she had an immense box no test at all, the poison would still Job. and the spider takes up Its posi
lovely view hud been passed, one of the made of closely woven wire, and after lurk there. Tiie better precaution is to tion on the under surface of one of the
guests at the driver’s left hand re giving her order for the same returned remove the stem for bugs and use the great leaves to be lulled by the gentle
marked:
swaying and sheltered while the storm
home to dream of the carnation bed she silver for toadstools.
rages. It Is for this that the am has
“You don't seem to take much Inter had in mind which would lie the envy
est in tlie scenery. No doubt It’s an old
prepared, and never Is It mistaken.
of all the neighborhood. The box Anal
BRIEF REVIEW.
story to you.”
When the web Is taken In, rain will
The driver shook bls head. “No, ly came, also the bill, but I will let her
certainly fall within an hour.
that’s not It,” he answered. “I Just give the balance of this o’er true inci
The moment the am Is touched It
Long Runs of Conductors.
feigns deatli and lets Itself drop, show
don’t care.” Then he leaned a little dent in her own words.
As the speed of trains is accelerated ing no sign of life until again placed
closer and whispered: "But I knows
»»*»
Iietween distant ¡siints tlie runs made
just how you folks must feel. You all
“The bill for that pink box paralyzed by train and Pullman car conductors upon a leaf or on the ground. Many a
come from a long distance Just to see me for the moment, Polly. I won
one lias lain in the palm of the writer’s
things, and you’re bound to enjoy It
are lenghtened out. The conductors on hand inert, all Its legs drawn close to
dered
what
my
husband
would
say,
anyhow so ns to get your money’s
Rock Island No. 21, better known as Its body, while it was examined at
worth and not feel as though you was but 1 went out into the yard, got a the fast mail, run from Chicago to Des leisure, even being picked up in the
cheatin’ yourselves. Oh,” said this boy to help me, and worked like a Moines, 358 miles. Returning the next lingers without its manifesting any
driver In a superior tone, ”1 don't mind Trojan to get it buried and the pinks morning they lay over one and a halt life.
it when 1 understand bow ’tis.”-Les planted before lie came home. We
days in Chicago before coming out
lie's Weekly.
BEAUTY SPOTS.
had the work nearly completed when
again. Out on the Union Pacific con
he arrived, and lie seemed to be de
Ch an ae to Cliangre n «innrter.
ductors on the overland and limited Try lemon Juice for whitening the
“How much does it take to change a lighted with the result of my labors.
neek. Apply It with a linen cloth.
quarter?” asked the bartender. “Twen ‘Well, that is a bright scheme” he re mail trains run from Omaha to Chey After tlie head has been shampooed,
enne
and
from
Cheyenne
to
Ogden,
510
ty-five cents, eb? Not on your life. It marked, as lie took in the size of the
whenever possible, give the head a sun
takes seventy cents to do the trick. box, and then came that dreaded ques and 514 miles respectively. The time bath.
they
are
on
the
road
is,
however,
less
How many ways do you suppose u tion, ‘How* much did it cost?’ ‘The
than years ago, when the runs were less A writer states that oily hands may
quarter dollar can be changed? Just
made comfortable and touchable by
exactly eleven. A fellow of limited bill is on the porch,’ I replied. Then I than 300 miles in length. The distance be
wetting them once or twice a day while
means may like the jingle of coin in dug industriously and never looked up. covered by the Pullman car conductors clean
bls clothes. In flint event you enn give Not a sound came from his direction is vastly greater than those by train con vinegar. with cologne, alcohol or toilet
him twenty-five pennies or twenty pen for several minutes, and then he gave ductors. From Chicago to Denver is
A good circulation Is essential to the
nies and one nickel. He may like to a long, low’ whistle. That is the way
have a little sprinkling of silver in bls he does. He doesn’t swear and storm 1041 miles. Pullman car conductors growth of tlie hair as well as to its col
clothes, and you can accommodate him like some men when things go wrong, consider this a short run. The men in or and fineness. A frequent, vigorous
with fifteen pennies aud n dime or ten he merely gives that i»eculiar whistle charge of the sleeping ears on the North brushing with a stiff brush Is the best
western and Union Pacific accompany method of obtaining this.
pennies, a dime and a nickel.
A writer upon the complexion says
“If lie prefers to have chnuge bandy of his and it’s worse than strong words. their cars from Chicago to Portland, Or.
for a beer and a car fare, why, fifteen You get over them quicker. Alsiut ten It takes nine days to make the round the best way to treat freckles, a sure
pennies and two nickels will fix him minutes after lie said gravely, ‘That trip of nearly 4000 miles and they make cure in all but very obstinate cases, is
up. and If be wants n cigar in addition, was pretty steep, wasn’t it, for that alsiut two and a half trips per month. to touch them night and morning with
a camel's hair brush after dipping It in
tiesides having a little stock of cash pink box? Ten dollars is a whole lot of
In Ids Jenns, give him ten pennies and money. Just now when taxes are to On the Santa Fe the conductors run lemon Juice.
For a greasy skin nothing is better
three nickels. That makes six ways. be met and new school-books to be pur from Chicago to Han Francisco and on
Now, then, a fellow with a quarter can chased, tiesides our living expenses. the Canadian Pacific they remain with than tlie combination of an ounce of
trade it off for five pennies and two John doesn’t get the biggest salary in their cars on the trip across the conti dried rose leaves, half a pint of white
dimes, five pennies and four nickels,
nent, which consumes nearly six days wine vinegar and half a pint of rose
two dimes and one nickel, one dime the world; indeed, it is very small.’ He from Postland, Me., to Vancouver and water. Let the vinegar stand on the
and three nickels or five nickels, just was right, and I felt guilty enough, but Victoria. On the Illinois Central they rose leaves for a week, then add the
as he prefers. And to accommodate I never dreamed it was going to cost so run from Hioux City to New Orleans. rosewater. Use a taldespoonful in a
cup of distilled water.
him in any way that he might select much when I ordered it. 1 really ex
you have to possess twenty-five pen pected three or four dollars to cover it. They rceive $75 per month.
A Geoloiclcal Fallacy.
nies, two dimes and five nickels—sev But then and there 1 made up my mind
Probably the most wild and unjusti
enty cents In all.”—Philadelphia Rec that 1 should make this pink Ixix pay
Artiflcial wool made from turf fibres
ord.
Is now employed at Dusseldorf, Ger fiable of all tlie crude beliefs respect
for itself.
many, for manufacturing cloth, band ing geological resources Is that which
»»»»
Pou ii <1 Fool I ft tineas.
ages,
hats, rugs and so forth. Ten years holds to the conviction tliat by going
One of tlie commonest forms of pound
“I worked harder than ever to make
deep enough tlie drill Is sure to find
have
elapsed since tlie first attempts to s< niethlng of value, no matter at what
foolishness is countenanced by many that carnktion bed a success, planted
high authorities. Tills is the purchase only t he most choice varietiesand plan t- make turf wool, and it is averred that point the work of boring is commenced.
of certain household provisions in largo ed seed galore, Anally succeeding in recent improvements in the processes
There are numerous wise persons in
quantities. Few writers on domestic
have resulted in the production of a soft every community, estimable, influen
getting
two
pinks
that
were
entirely
topics fall to lay stress upon tlie econ
fibrous material, which can lie spun as tial and In the highest degree public
omy of buying groceries In bulk. That new. 1 had a friend in the floral busi readily as sheep’s wool, and which, lie spirited who are convinced tliat the
sugar and flour, potatoes and apples ness in Han Francisco and 1 eon tided sides possessing excellent absorbent question, for example, of finding coal
should be bought by the half or whole to him my woes and he promised to
In their special locality is simply a
barrel, cereals by the case, butter by take all the pinks 1 could send him, qualities, is capable of being bleached matter of tlie depth to which the ex
and
colored
for
use
in
various
textile
in
the lull and other tilings In like propor and as a result I have up to date cleared
plorations are carried. Rock oil and
tion Is one of tlie early precepts In tlie lifty dollars off my earnation Ixix. dustries.
natural gns are recognized ns desirable
•’Young Housekeeper's Complete Guide Not only that, but 1 have sold them
products In every progressive commu
Taxes for Any Old Thing.
to Domestic Economy.”
nity, and every such community con
yardsand
yards
of
smilax
besides
many
Home of tlie most peculiar of taxa tains persons In other respects Intelli
The Ignorant young tilings buy the
clusters
of
mignonette
and
bachelor
provisions first and the experience aft
tions recorded are to be found in the ar gent who are ready to stake their own
erward. The flour grows musty, the buttons. Our unsightly backyard fence chives of Holland. In 1791, for instance, fortune and that of their nearest
cereals develop weevils, tlie potatoes has been converted into a tiling of there was in existance a tax imposed on friends on the belief that oil and gas
and apples rot long before they can be beauty by choice sweet peas that run all passengers (traveling in Holland. are everywhere underneath the surface
eaten, and the cook exercises n lavish riot over the old board fence. For this In 1874 a duty of 2 shillings was levied and tliat their sources can be tapped
ness In the use of tlie butter and sugnr I stretched wire netting the entire
with the drill provided only there Is
she would never show were they bought length. It was of the cheapest kind on each person who entered a tavern lie- sufficient capital to keep up the process
fore
noon,
on
those
who
entered
a
place
In such limited amounts that tlie house and had large meshes that gave plenty
of drilling long enough,—Mines and
of entertainment, on marriages and Minerals.
keeper could hold close watch over
of
room
to
twine
tile
little
green
ten
them. Even after these events the
on many other things. If a person was
Loncllne.. and Health.
young mistress feels ns If she were ab drils through and give the vines a buried out of the district to which lielie-
A medical journal has of late been
solutely reckless and no manager at all chance to climb. I cannot begin to longed the tax was 'payable twice over.
discoursing on tlie Indigestion of lone
when she so far departs from house tell you of the baskets of sweet peas 1
liness. By this title Is meant to be in
hold law as to buy food In small quan have sent to the Han Frencisco florist.
According to the recent studies of Sig dicated the disorders of digestion which
tities.—Independent.
My husband Is as proud of my success
with the flowers its I am, and he often nor de Hanctis of Turin, children begin are believed to follow the practice of
Her Pet Name.
to dream before their fourth year, but tnklng one’s meals In solitary state.
“Ah!” he sighed after she had bltish- says that was the luckiest ten dollars are unable to recall dreams liefore the Tlie topic Is by no means an uninter
ingly whispered “Yes” in his bosom. he ever paid out, even if he did give age of Ave. This age, he concludes, is esting one. Thousands of men and wo
“My own Mehltabeli Oh, that name's that long, low whistle of his that al
men living alone nre compelled to take
so formal! Surely your friends use ways fairly freezes me and is every bit- that at which a child flrst becomes in their meals for tlie most part without
some shorter one, some pet name!”
as doleful as a funeral dirge, or that old stinctively conscious of self. Aged peo company. Week In and week out they
“Well,” she murmured, “the girls at hymn, good in its place, “Gome Ye ple dream less; frequently and less feed themselves without a soul to talk
boarding school used to call me Pic Disconsolate.” 1 have more spending vividly than young. Women’s dreams to. and the medical Journal devotes Its
kles.”—Philadelphia Press.
money than 1 ever had before. I am are nyire frequent, more vivid, and bets energies to showing that the practice
Is not one that Is likely to be conducive
healthier, for I spend a great deal of my ter remembered than those of men.
An Expert.
to digestion, to‘proper bodily nourish
Professor—If a person in good health, time in the garden instead of being
Tlie annual report concerning the ment r to health. The solltnry man
but who Imagined himself sick, should cooped up in the bouse with sewing
< mm 1 supply of Paris for 1900 contains soon i vs of merely eating, and, If lie Is
send for you. what would you do?
and cooking. It pays me lietter to get
not i f a literary turn of mind, his tend
Medical Student — Give him some some one else to attend to these less some interesting figures. Here is the ency i ■ to hurry through bis meals to
thing to make him sick and then ad pleasant duties and devote my time to I official average of what a Parisian eats es< apt from Ids loneliness Into the so-
minister an antidote.
and drinks in one year. Two hundred cli • of Ills fellow men. Herein. It Is
Professor — Don't waste any more raising buds and blossoms.”
and forty-two eggs, 19.20 poundsof but in Id lu s a danger to health.
»»»»
time here. Hang out your shingle.—
ter, 3.05 pounds of ready-cooked butch
New York Weekly.
Going back to pinks or carnations. I ers meat, 34.92 pounds of Ash, 154.70
IJiMcovrry of Cotti In Wales.
have another friend who is a worshijier pounds of beef, 25.38 pounds of pork
During the reign of Henry VIII.
In Temptation's War,
many attempts were mnde to discover
of flowers, but pinks are her hobby as
Jones—Has your wife got her new well, and like tlie little lady above, she and 27.83 (siunds of fowl and game.
coni In north Wales, and a Shrewsbury
hat yet?
Man loves to lie praised for his intui man. named Richard Gardner, was the
Brown—No; I’ve given her the money lias gophers to con tend with. Hhehad no tion, woman for her logic. As a mle, only person who succeeded. The old
wire
ls>x
to
plant
them
in,
but
site
chose
for It several times, but she has spent
records rend: “He attemptyd and put
It on some great, glorious bargain she another novel plan that succeeded be neither possess either.
Into proofe to fynde out coles about the
yond
her
utmost
expectations.
She
saw before she got to the milliner shop.
town (Shrewsbury) In soondry plncys,
—Detroit Free Press.
saved tier yeast powder cans and cut
Greatness is to take the common and In one place ospedali callyd Ema
the bottoms oil'. These she sank into things of life and walk truly among tine Haye, hard by the sayd towne. he
Some people expect fortune to break the earth and planted her pinks in them.
found by bls great dyllgence and troliall
In the door and announce her arrival them. Tiie gopher seemed to think a
great store of see cole, the which is
Give a Isiy a dime, and he immedi lyke to come much comraoditie bothe
through a megaphone.—Nashville Ban trap had been set for him and never
ner.
went below tiie bottom of the can to at ately begins to look around for his hat. to the riche and poore, that he Is not
only worthy of commendacou and
About the only way to convert some tack the roots. Hhe had alsiut seventy-
mayntennnee, but also to be hnd In re
To
learn
the
worth
of
a
man
’
s
religion
five
varieties
of
pinks,
both
double
and
people Is to 'eave them alone.—Dallas
membrance for ever."—Cardiff West
do
bi
siness
with
him.
single, and the air was Ailed with tiieir |
New*.
ern Unii.
CAMION RECORDER.
; Polly Larkin *
A QUESTION OF TEETH.
Did the Immortal George Wear Ar»
tlflrlal or Natural One.t
“George Washington’s false teeth,
which were supposed to have been
made of ivory, are giving a certain
class of freak historians about as much
trouble as they must have given the
venerable piltriot who wore them,”
said one of the professors of the
Smithsonian institution to a reporter
recently.
"Many times a year for several years
this Institutlou lias been called upon to
produce these mysterious teeth for the
inspection of persons who Insist that
they are here.
“Our matter of fact answer to these
inquiries that Washington hnd no false
teeth, or at least If lie did, that they
nre not in the possession of the mu
seum, seems only to stimulate the in
quiring mind to protest our statement.
They proceed to give us authentic ac
counts of these teeth and always con
clude with expressing the belief that
they must lie in the museum some
where.
“Where or how the idea that Wash
ington hail false teetli originated Is an
unsolved mystery. That it is firmly be
lieved by many is certainly a fact.
There seems to be no authentic record
of the Father of His Country possess
ing ivory teeth, and by a study of the
bust we have of him, which was made
but a few years liefore his death, there
is no Indication of an Indentation along
the line of tlie gums such as can be
noticed In persons who have had their
teetli drawn, even though they wear
artificial ones. However, we will con
tinue to answer tlie same question in
the same way probably many times in
tlie future."
According to some biographers
Washington lost his teeth during his
service us commander In chief of the
Continental army and Had a set of
Ivory ones made. These teeth. It is
al si stated, gave him much trouble be
cause they did not fit.—Washington
Star.
RAILWAY RUMBLES.
Ireland clnlms tlie honor of the flrst
electric railway in tlie United King
dom.
It is said that tlie cheapest railway
lares lu tlie world nre to lie found in
Hungary.
Denmark lias a government railroad
system of 1,107 miles and 525 miles of
private railroads.
The Servian. Roumanian and Bulga
rian railroads are owned exclusively
by the respective governments.
Travelers on Prussian railways whose
baggage, through no fault of their
own, fails to arrive with them can now
iiave It sent on request free to their
bouses.
Tlie difficulty of railway construction
in some purls of Africa is illustrated
by the fact tliat on tlie Freetown-Mat-
tru line, in S erra Leone, eleven steel
bridges had to be built in a distance of
only thirty kilometers.
A representative of the Purls Temps
has been examining railway stations In
Germany, ami he declares that those of
Dresden, Cologne. Hanover, Frankfort,
Bremen, etc., are far superior to any
of the French except the Parisian.
I’nilnK a Creditor.
Like many another famous man both
before Ills time and since, Talleyrand
exhibited, at least in early life, a great
reluctance to settling with Ills credit
ors. When lie was appointed bishop of
Autun by Louis XVI., he considered a
fine new coach to be necessary to the
proper maintenance of tlie dignity of
tliat office. Accordingly a coach was
ordered and delivered, lint not paid for.
Some time after, ns the newly appoint
ed bishop was about to enter bls conch,
he noticed a strange man standing near
who bowed continually until the coach
was driven away. This occurred for
several days until nt length Talley
rand. addressing the stranger, said:
“Well, my good man. who are you?”
“I am your coacliniaker. my lord,”
replied the stranger.
"Ah." saiil Talleyrand, "you are my
eoachmaker! And what do you want,
my coaelininker?"
"I want to lie paid, my lord.”
“Ah, you are my eoachmaker. and
you want to be paid? You shall be
paid, m.v concli maker.”
"But when, my lord?"
"Hnnt." said Talleyrand, settling
himself comfortably among the cush
ions of Ills new conch atq) eying bls
eoachmaker severely, “you are very
Inquisitive!"
Si.lud Katina Good Sriue.
Even men are progressing gastronom-
Ically. Scientific dietetics has at last
revealed to us the fact that the woman
who eats salad on a hot day In July,
August or September Is displaying
sound gastronomic sense, says Wlint to
Ent. The long haired dreamer In the
restaurant may have been nineteen dif
ferent kinds of a fool upon every other
proposition in life, but he knew what
to eat on a hot day. The human ani
mal needs grass or Its equivalent In
summer. With their oil the salads sup
ply everything a man physically needs
In hot weather. All the civilized races
of the world nre salad eaters.but Amer
icans eat less than do any other people.
It Is not a sign of mental decay or mor
al degeneracy for s man to eat salad; It
Is gastronomic sense.
A DOMESTIC COMEDY.
THE VARIED RESULTS OF REARRANG
ING THE FURNITURE.
My «hort ind happ> <tay 1» don*!
The long and lonely night comes OS
And st my door I lie pale horse .tai
To carry tue to unknown lands.
Hl» whinny shrill, his pawing hoot,
Sound dreadful aa a gathering atom
And 1 must leave this sheltering root
An.l joys ot life ao soft and warm.
K>i. Dlank’n Mania For Changing
(he
Appearance
of
the
Hoorn»
Bronglit Trouble to the Male Con-
tlntfent and Sorrow to Herself.
“Do you change the position of t be
furniture when you clean a room ?"
Inquired housewife No. 1 of a frieu't la
the course of a heart to beari mix.
"Do I? Why, yes. Indeed! I don’t
feel as if the room Is cleaned unless !
change the furniture a little bit. Do
you ?”
“Well. I usually change the orna
meats around and so forth, but iu the
spring aud fall 1 like to change every
thing In a room—completely alter the
whole appearance of It. Then 1 fancy
the things nre all new, and they seem
to look prettier somehow. But, do you
know, my husband doesn’t like It nt
all!”
“Neither does mine! Isn’t that singu
lar? Men are so peculiar!”
“Yes, indeed they are!”
So many housekeepers share the
views of these two tliat a story with
a moral will not be out of place.
It was the other night only tliat Mr.
Blank went unsuspiciously up stairs to
bed at an unusually early hour, leaving
his wife rending In the sitting room.
He had a beadache and carried a gob
let of water In Ids right hand. Fear
lessly advancing Into the dark bed
room Mr. Blank suddenly felt both legs
violently cut from under him. He
clutched wildly at the air and said
several things of an exclamatory na
ture. but there was nothing to save
him. He went down.
"Good gracious. Henry!” ejaculated
Mrs. Blank, hurry lug to the scene of
disaster. “What is the matter?
Where are you? Why don’t you light
the gas?” Suiting the action to the
word, she beheld her husband sprawl
ing across the bed; the glass he liad
carried had discharged Its contents
across the pillowshams and shivered on
the’ floor.
Mr. Blank did the talking for the
next ten minutes. He said that of all
the blankety blank folly of which the
mind could conceive tills of changing
furniture around was the worst. He
said It was a pretty thing for a man to
walls Into Ills own room and have to
fall over things In the dark. He said
be wouldn’t stanil it; the furniture
must be replaced where It formerly
stood.
“I shan’t do anything of the kind,”
replied Mrs. Blank. “It looks very
much nicer vvhere it is. Why don’t
you feel where you are going \vben you
get Into a dark room?”
“S’pose you'd like me to crawl In on
all fours!” snarled Mr. Blank. “1
couldn't feel where the bed wns unless
I happened Io touch the footboard. I
thought I could walk clear over to the
bureau. I tell you It’s a confounded
crank you have on this subject. Some
day you'll precipitate a serious acci
dent.”
“If any one precipitates, It’ll be you,
I should think,” retorted Mrs. Blank
icily. And the furniture remained
where It was.
It was the next evening that Master
Blank undertook to carry a pile of
schoolbooks from the dining room to
the sitting room. He had a bottle of
Ink In bls hand, and he thought he
knew exactly where the center table
was. In the course of his peregrina
tions In search of It, however, lie came
into violent collision with the glnss
door of the bookcase, which he broke.
There were also Inky traces discernible
on the carpet when Mrs. Blank came
In. This tin» there was some balm for
her feelings. She could spank Master
Blank and did it with the best will In
the world.
Her own downfall was not long In
cotnlug, however, although for a few
days only minor Inconveniences were
met with, such as the abrasion of an
kle* against chair rockers and slight
bruises received by means of sudden
contact with unforeseen obstacles. Last
evening Mrs. Blank undertook to trans
fer the cage of her pet parrot from the
window where It spends the day to the
snug corner where It passes the night.
She did not trouble to light the gns, and
by some unaccountable mental lapse
she bad forgotten the precise point nt
which a tabouret, on which stood a Jar
diniere, was stationed. She charged
Into the tabouret with considerable
force, was overbalanced by the weight
of the cage in her arms and took a
header with a resounding crash. The
parrot shrieked, and, unable to distin
guish friend from foe, Inflicted a severe
bite on her mistress’ finger, Mr. Blank
came in hurriedly, picked up his wife
and assisted In making an Inventory of
sundry contusions. Then they lifted
the parrot cage, badly bent, and the
Jardiniere with a piece chipped out of
It aud the tabouret somewhat scratch
ed, and then Mr. Blank observed quiet
ly:
“1 have just one thing to ask you.
Mrs. Blank. Was I right?”
“No, you were not!” retorted Mrs.
Blank savagely. “Serious accident?
Wiiat’s serious about this. I should like
to know? For goodness' sake, Henry,
don’t stand there trying to look like a
martyr! If you must have the furni
ture moved back, I’Ll move It!” And
«be did.—Philadelphia Record.
Preoccupation.
“Why do you speak so slightingly
Harpers Ferry wns named after of that eminent scientist?”
Robert Harper, an architect and mill
"1 didn’t mean to speak slightingly
builder, born In 1703 In the town o' of him,” answered the young mnn with
Oxford. England. He came to Amet the atrlped shirt front, “but It does
lea In 1735 with his brother Joseph teem peculiar to me that a man who
and located In Philadelphia, where for knows Just when the next comet will
a time he prospered but. falling later, arrive and ;uat how far It Is to tlie
concluded to join the Friends of l.on moon should be so utterly ignorant
doun county. Va. En route to Ills new when It conns to a question of when
home he came upon the gap in the it’* time fo dinner or what train to
Blue Ridge mountains, where he mnde take to get »< the p*i*re*t town.”—Boa
his home.
ton Traveler
Ilnrprm Ferry.
I p III. Nlreve.
At the battle of Omdurinnn a soldier
belonging to a Scotch regiment was
nearly killed by a bullet which struck
the ground just in front of him while
he was firing in a reclining position.
On rising to move a few feet forward,
something came down his sleeve. It
wns the bullet How It got tip his
sleeve without Inflicting damage can
only be accounted for by the fact that
It must have been spent by the time It
struck the ground In front of him and
the course of Ils flight up his sleeve
was its Inst billet
THE STIRRUP CUP.
The Change In the Tenderfoot.
“This Is a remarkably healthy ell
mate, they say,” said tlie easterner.
“You're right tiiar,” said Arizona Al
“Pr Instance, not long ago a tenderfoot
with a weak chest an’ a pale face drop
ped Inter the Miners’ Delight, called me
n liar an’ o’ course I bad to clean up.
'Bout two months after a big sunburnt
cowboy stopped me on the street, wiped
the earth up with me an’ slammed me
up in a tree to recuperate. Same fel
ler. Best climate in the world, pard."
—Indianapolis Sun.
Tender and warm the Joys of Ute:
Good friends, the faithful and the trues
My rosy children and my wife.
So sweet to kiss, so fair to view.
So sweet to kiss, so fair to view;
The night comes on, the lights bum blue.
And at my door the pale horse stands
To bear me forth to unknown lands.
—John Hay.
A NOVEL HOTEL BILL.
The Man to Whom It Was Presented
Could Not Cnder.tand It.
•Talking about bookkeeping, there
used to be a man In Yankton whose
system of bookkeeping accounts was
wonderfully efficient. He kept a hotel,
and he could neither read nor write,
lie did not know how to spell his own
name, but he did a thriving business
and collected every dollar of Ills ac
counts. Once, years ago, when I flrst
camo to this country, I went to bls ho
tel and stopped there two weeks,”
writes Milt Brlnhen.
“When 1 loft, lie presented me with a
statement of what 1 owed him. and It
was a curiosity. He* had copied it from
his ledger. At the top of the sheet
there was a rude picture of a soldier
on the march and after It three straight
marks. Then there was a scene show
ing a man at table eating. Then ap
peared a bed with a man in It. In the
amount column there was a picture of
a doll and after It the two letters “RS.”
After the picture of a man eating there
were forty-two marks; after the view
of the man In the bed, fourteen marks.
I looked at the account, then at the
proprietor, and told him It would take
me a week to answer that conundrum.
“I was completely stumped, and when
that hotel man deciphered the amount
for me it was this: The picture of tha
soldier walking meant march, and the
three marks supplied the date, Marell
3, when 1 began boarding. The man
at the table with forty-two marks after
It Indicated that 1 had eaten forty-two
meals. The man In bed with fourteen
marks showed that I had slept In the
house fourteen nights. The doll with
the ‘RS’ after It meant ‘dollars,’ and
In the figure columns appeared the fig
ures 14, which was the amount I ow< <1
him. And It wns a true bill.”—Yank
ton Press.
A PerHinn Barber.
A Persian barber works In a style
very different from that in vogue in
this country. A typical shop is a
square room, with one side open to the
street. In the center Is a tiny bed of
flowers sunk In the floor, from the
middle of which rises an octagonal
stone column about three feet high.
The capital of the' column forms a
receptacle for the water in which the
barber dips bis hand as be shaves I s
customer’s scalp. In Persia they ..o
not lather. Tin1 shop is very clean. In
two recesses stand four vases filled
with flowers and the Implements of the
barber's art—scissors, razors, lancets,
hand mirrors, large pinchers to extract
teeth, branding Irons to cauterize the
arteries in amputating limbs, strong
combs, but not a hairbrush, for that
Implement is never used by Persians.
From the barber’s girdle bang a
round copper water bottle, his strop,
and a pouch to hold his Instruments.
In his bosom Is a small mirror, the
presentation of which to Ills customers
Is a sign tliat tlie job is finished and
tliat tlie barber waits for Ills pay. The
burlier shaves tlie beads of bls custom
ers, dyes their beards, pulls their teeth,
blisters and bleeds them when ailing,
sets their broken bones and shampoos
their bodies,—Exchange.
Strange Lapse of Memory.
Cases of forgetfulness on matters of
Interest are on record. While Dr.
Priestley was preparing his work en
titled “Harmony of tlie Gospels” he
had taken great pains to Inform him
self on a subject which had been under
discussion relative to the Jewish Pass-
over. He wrote out tlie result of bls
researches and laid the paper away.
Ills attention and time being taken
with something else, some little time
elapsed liefore the subject occurred to
ids mind again. Then tlie same time
and pains were given to the subject
tliat bad been given to It before, and
tlie results were again put on pnper
and laid aside. So completely had he
forgotte i tliat lie had copied tlie same
paragraphs and reflections before that
It wns only when he had found tlie
papers on which he hnd transcribed
them tliat ft was recalled to his recol
lection. Tills same author bad fre
quently rend his own published writ
ings and did not recognize them.
Held l»y Rtlqoette.
When Doin Pedro, then emperor of
Brazil, was entertained nt the White
House, lie had been told by a confused
senator that It would be expected tliat
be, tlie emperor, should lie the last of
the guests to depart.
Tlie president's wife,however. Inform
ed her other guests tliat they would be
expected to follow, not precede, tlie
royal party In leaving the house.
Tlie result was tliat no one dared to
go for fear of a breach of etiquette.
But nt 3 o'clock In tlie morning a tired
woman pretended Illness, and the (lend
lock was broken.
Grent Is etiquette, but common sense
Is sometimes allowable.
* Carton. Barometer.
A curious barometer Is said to be
used by the remnant of the Arnucnnlan
race which Inhabits the southernmost
province of Chile. It consists of tlie
castoff shell of n crab. The dead shell
Is white In fair, dry weather, but tlie
approach of a moist ntmosphere Is Indi
cated by the appearance of small red
spots. As the moisture In the air In
creases the shell becomes entirely red
and remains ao throughout the rainy
season.
D ob and Wolf,
There has been some dispute as to
the descent of tlie dog—whether it is
an Improved progeny of tlie wolf or a
distinct variety. That it is a different
»pecles Is proved by the fact that the
dog and the wolf will mate and pro
duce offspring. Nevertheless It Is prob-
aide tliat the dog is merely descended
from the same original stock with the
Wolf.