Image provided by: Bandon Historical Society Museum
About Bandon recorder. (Bandon, Or.) 188?-1910 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 14, 1901)
BANDON RECORDER. __________________________ i Ji He Was Mo H ob . “Well,” suld tbe doctor, fieeplng Into the room where Wellington Fras h, tbe great poker expert, was wailln ig for the returns. "1 suppose ,v u wi 111 re gard this as a mere formality, but I must congratulate you neverthele >sa on tbe fact that you have a Hue boy across tbe ball." "Hi!” said Mr. Frasb. “That's good! Come In and take sometblug.” "Excuse me for a moment,” the doc tor replied. Presently he returned, put his head Into Mr. Fresh's den and said "Let me congratulate you again. You have two fine boys across the hall." Mr. Frasb opened his mouth as If to respond, but before he could do so the doctor was gone again. Presently In- bounded In tbe new father's presence, saying: "By George, you have tbrei fine boys across tbe hall!" He was starting back when Mr Frasb hurried forward, grasped him by the shoulder and In excited tones cried: "Say, doc. hold on. Three of a kind are good enough for me. 1 staud pat." —Chicago Herald. :»■ __ I twl roZLŸnüiiïÎKÏN”® J Ui I would presently come tripping in. I think we both gasped when she en tered. “Merciful heavens, what a cari cature!” whispered my friend, as a short, sullen-looking woman came slow ly toward us. “What if that should be the French cook?" I said. “Nonsense,” said myfriend, “It makes the cold shiv ers run over my back to think of such a thing.” But she proved to be the French cook who had been so highly recommended. “Can you cook?” gasped the little lady, staring at the woman whom nature had not gifted with an attractive nor even a pleasant face. “Yes, 1 can cook; but I don’t want to do much of it, for it makes me tired.” “Makes you tired, does it? Then I’m sure you wouldn’t suit.” “You wouldn’t suit me, either,” mumbled the French woman, who showed plainly that she had been drinking. “I will try one more and then I’ll quit.” And forth we sauntered. We sttssl waiting our turn to speak with the proprietress and let our wants be known, She was talk ing to a girl who was seeking a situa tion and had just given her the num bers of one or two places where they wanted help. “I don’t believe in these so-called ‘light places,’” said the pro prietress. “Strike them for twenty dollurs and stick to it. You can make them pay it just as well as not." “I’m not so very good a cook,” said the girl. “That's all right. You can make them pay it if you stick to it. Trouble with you girls is that you hi\en’t backbone enough.” “That settles it,” said my friend. “I don’t want a girl from this place.” And we took our departure. Every office was thronged with people seeking work, but not one of the num ber could be secured, although some looked like they badly needed it. NEW SHORT STORIES FACTS IN FEW LINES HUMOR OF THE HOUR CHOICE MISCELLAN i lie Earned Ills Fare. Many have beard the story of tbe two x’< rwegiau brothers. Gue of them was ill the boat when she started out. She a is tLI.ty feet from the dock when the other brother came rushing down bin few seconds too late. Tbe one ibuurd leaned over the railing and ihouted: "Yump, Olie, yump! You can aiake it iu two yumps!” This local instance is alike with a j terence: One Michael MeNolati, a le-.vvr contract ir In the pick depart- ui< nt, was giving bls folks an outing luring the general celebration nud ’hose the Tashtuo as the means of aansportation. On the way to the boat kilchnel dropped iu every little while Io light bis pipe. Tbe family were all comfortable on the upper deck and watching for tbe liege lord and paymaster when the ma chinery began t« work and the boat to move. It was five feet away when the belated passenger »ppeared, his face red and his pipe working like a smoke stack. He stood on the edge of the lock, steadying himself and swinging bis arms to give Impetus to a jump when the goodwife Issued an order: "Git back. Moike, git back, and make a good run for the jump. Yez can nev er make It standin’.” Mike obeyed. By tbe time he made Ills run the boat was twenty feet off, but he made a gallant effort, went out of sight in Ills best store clothes for a bathing suit and came up spitting out water and other things for which a later explanation would be required. He scorned life preservers showered upon him, dove down and brought up bls pipe, swam to the side of the boat nnd when safely aboard demanded a reduction in fare.—Detroit Free Press. ‘ Come with me, Polly,” saida friend the other day. ‘‘I am going to have a diidres sing afternoon and 1 want coin puny, I’m going to the intelligence offices to try and secure a girl to assist me ill light housework. 1 emphasize the last words, ‘light housework,’ and you will know the reason why by the time we have made the rounds. You see, I have been all through this before and 1 know what is in store for me, Give you something to write about, Polly, on how to solve the servant girl problem.” Every intelligence office was lined with young girls, middle- aged women, and a few who will never write their names on this side of fifty years again, in fact one or two of them looked like they had passed the sixty- year mile-isiet. Some of them looked cheerful and like it would be a pleasure for them to find something to do in agreeable surroundings, and others Whnt the Fye Tell«. )<M>ked as though they had lost their Eyes are very treacherous, and tbos< last friend. “I wouldn’t have a walk who meddle In amorous matters should ing tombstone like some of these dis know all about them When tbe upper lid covers half or consolate looking beings around me for more of the pupil, tbe Indication is of anything,” said my friend. “Life is cool deliberation. An eye the lipper too short to live in the shadow of trials lid of which passes horizontally across and tribulations, past and future. I’m tbe pupil Indicates mental ability’ I n sure 1 would grow despondent myself, steady eyes, rapidly jerking from side and the first thing I knew I would be to side, are frequently Indicative of an in a decline. Ko Polly, give me the unsettled mind, it Is said that the prevailing color of eyes among the pa cheerful, happy disposition every time. tlents of lunatic asylums are brown 1 think I’m a pretty good Judge of hu and black. Eyes of any color with man nature. Now, 1 would not trust Roue Eytinice and Rrltfliani Y oiibk . weak brows and long, concave lashes that woman over there with the restless Rose Eytinge tells In the New York are Indicative of a weak constitution black eyes. I would be afraid she was Dramatic Mirror this storj’ of Brigham Eyes that are wide apart are said to one of the Isirrowing without asking Young, whom she met in Salt laike Indicate great Intelligence and a tenu kind.” Then the manager of this par BRIEF REVIEW. City: "He took me one day on n visit clous memory. Eyes of which tin- ticular employment office approached of inspection of a house In course of whole iris Is visible belong to erratic A Trip Behind the American Falls. erection. As we passed from room to persons, even with a tendency toward and my friend stated what she wanted room the subject of polygamy was Insanity. Wide open, staring eyes in and was shown into a little private John R. Barlow, the famous guide to under discussion. By way of Illustrat room. the Cave of the Winds, and his son, J. weak countenances Indicate Jealousy, ing Ills argument he pointed out the C. Barlow, 27 years of age, made a trip many bigotry. Intolerance and pertinacity spacious advantages of the house without firmness. One after another tripped in and recently behind the sheet of water of and said: ‘Now, suppose you were liv tripped out in the most patronizing the American Falls. It carried him ing in this house, and saj’ you were Strictly A|i|iropriiiti‘. fashion. The first was astrong, healthy back to 1867, when, accompanied by sealed to me and I were to bring In One of tbe pretty .Sunday school looking girl, who stated that she was Guide John Mumford and J. R. Lane, another wife and establish her In an teachers has a class of little girls, mid just from Iceland. “You want work?” he first ventured behind that waterfall. other wing, why should you object? It Is ber custom to tell them each Sim What would you do?’ To which I re day of some little Incident that Ims asked my friend, who was rather taken He pointed out the conditions to his plied: ‘Do? I would dance oi) her!’ son, and the two agreed to venture a with the girl ’ s rugged appearance. •happened In the week nud request tbe The old man dropped on a pile of lum children to quote n verse of Scripture “Yes, ma’m, and 1 want it bad. I'm passage which had not been accom ber that lay conveniently near and to Illustrate the story In this way just from the old country a short time plished in thirty-four years. Leaving laughed till I thought be would do him she hopes to Impress the usefulness and must find something to do." “Can the bridges and walks of the Cave of self an injury.” of Biblical knowledge upon the little you cook?" queried my friend. “No, the Wind behind, the father and son llrnhiua Wa« Tired. ones. Last Sunday she told her class I don’t know much about cooking.” picked their way over the wet and slip of a cruel boy who would catch eats “What can you do?” asked the em pery rocks toward the American Falls. When Brahms, the famous composer, and cut their tails off. a pupil of Schumann, the latter At times they were in water up to their was wrote to Liszt in Weimar that he “Now, can any little girl tell me of ployer, kindly. “Oh, I can sweep and an appropriate verse?" she asked. dust and do some little things like that." necks, and then again they were lost to would send him an exceptionally gifted There was a pause for a few moments, Then she began to put the questions view in the spray clouds. Onward they pupil, a young "Hamburger,” Brahms when one little girl arose and in a sol thick and fast. “How many have you went, however, and, after a hard climb, by name. Brahms, who walked most emn voice said: in family? Do you have much com they made a ledge, along which they of the way to Weimar, arrived there "Whatsoever God has joined together pany? Do you have three hearty meals passed liehind the sheet of water. When let no man put asunder.”—Carthage a day? Are there any children?” etc., they reached a point on the ledge the Press. until my friend was fairly bewildered, father signaled to the son, who under but she thought as the girl was just stood that it was where the father The Lemon. Tbe lemon contains various acids. from the old country she had been stopped in 1867, and then far below this citric ncld among them, with citrate of coached as to what to say, so she asked, point the two Barlows made their way, potash, and these acids oxidize in tbe “What wages do you want?” "Twenty going fully 200 feet back of the water blood Into carbonates of potash and dollars,” promptly replied the girl. that plunged over the precipice. They- carbonic add. As scurvy Is believed to "But you say you can't cook and don’t bad been where no human being had be due to a lack of potash-salts In the blood, we see how substances like leln understand much about anything ex ever been liefore them. The trip was ons, pot.‘itoi-s and fresh vegetables gen cept sweeping and dusting. For twen full of danger, but it was accomplished erally act as preventives of the ail ty dollars one expects to get a good in safety. When Guide Barlow was ment. Also In rheumatism. In which ciMik and one who knows how to man seen after he emerged from the falls he It Is desirable to maintain tbe alkaline age about the place to some extent.” said he observed many changes in the character of the blood, lemons arc of "Twenty dollars is my price; but what rocks as compared with the conditions service. Beyond this I do not think would you give?” "I couldn't think he had found in 1867. anybody can vaunt the properties of of giving you over twelve dollars until the fruit. A healthy person lias no yon had learned a little more.” "Would The Cheapest of Metals. more need of lemons than of. say. tea. Aluminum is, at the present price, not come for less than fifteen dollars. for bls ordinary food will supply him with all that Is necessary for the Don’t think your place would suitme,” the cheapest metal in the market, with maintenance of a sound body. People and she switched out of the nxmi in the exception of iron, zinc and lead. BHAIIMS WAS SOUND ASLEEP, who talk about lemons as "good for the dignantly and was soon telling a com The metal is now extensively used in liver.” and so forth, found their belief panion in misery how some people place of copper, brass, tin and in some hungry and tired; but, going directly rather on faith than on knowledge. wanted the earth and expected girls to eases even iron, especially when the re to Liszt’s house, he was admitted, and, London Chronicle. work for nothing. "I’ll fold my hands duction of dead weight is a question of handing two of Ills own sonatas to Liszt, the latter played them from the rest of my days first,” she said with great importance. Aluminum is also sight in a marvelous manner. Liszt, Tile Slllleat II I rets. Dodo Is tbe Portuguese name for an indignant shake of her head. “Score beginning to be used very largely as rather pleased with the compositions, simpleton, and It Is given to tbe silliest number one as a failure,” said my electrical conductors, as it gives nearly turned to Brahms, who was seated In biro that ever lived. Three hundred friend, smiling. "But hold on, here the same conductance as copper, weighs a big armchair, and said, “I shall play years ago. when the Portuguese first comes another one.” She struck Polly only half as much and costs less. The B minor sonata for you.” This sonata visited tbe Island of Mauritius, they as lieing a regular Amazon as she progress made in the use of aluminum lasts almost three-quarters of an hour, found a large number of these birds. hustled into the little room, and she in the past few years justifies the most and when lie had finished he turned to They wore about the size of n large was the one to start the ball rolling. sanguine exjiectations. Twenty years Brahms, but Brahms was sound asleep. swan, blackish gray In color and hav lllKhfnlntlii Reporting. ing only a bunch of feathers In place "You want somebody to work, do you? ago the total output in the world did of a tall and little, useless wings How many in family? Are there aMy not exceed four or five tons, and its A local musical critic of Hagerstown. More, stupid nnd foolish birds could children? Don’t like to work where price was $30,000 per ton; ten yeam ago M<1., wrote thus of n performance of not be Imagined. They ran abcut mak there are children, they’re always un its price was reduced to $10,000 per ton, “Iolanthe,” which was recently pro ing a silly, hissing noise like a goose, der your feet. Do you have much and the output increased to about thirty duced there: "Melodic curves of di end tbe sailors easily knocked them company? Do you have a full course tons per annum; now the price is $650 vine Intensity vaulted aloft, mirroring over with their paddles. They couldn't dinner every night? A dinner like to $700 per ton, and the output during the perturbations of music’s soul nnd fly. they couldn’t swim, they couldn't that makes lots of work for a jssir girl. the last twelve months Is reckoned at painting the struggle for subliminal ex pression upon the airy fabric of voice run at any great speed, and. ns for 1 always get oil' a Sunday or so every 5000 tons. dreams. Ecstatically, yet orderly, the fighting, they were the greatest cow chorus rang its accompaniment, dash ards In the world. They were much month. What wages do you pay?” Strict Regulations. Ing the serene waves of Its cloud cap too stupid to build a nest, and so they Then my friend, who had been rather dropped an egg nnd went off to let it awed by this volley of questions, recov Cupid will have a hard time soon ped vision right to the ultimate bars of ered her breath and asked, “What with Russian army officers, if one is to human reach. Tbe audience was sym batch ns best It could. wages do you want?” “Thirty dollars Judge from a recent regulation fixing pathetic and enrapt, hanging with drn Th. Chance« In Policy. and not a eent less,” responded the the conditions under which Russian of matic fervor to tbe meticulous Inspira The retired "poke" shopkeeper was Amazon. “There is no need to discuss ficers will lie permitted to marry. In tion of tbe passionate verve of the explaining to bls Interested he arers the matter, for I’m sure you wouldn't the first place the lady must have good sinuous, Irresistibly direct and co some of the mysteries of his former suit.” And out went the Amazon with manners and be well brought up; her ordinate harmonies which passed oft the Ivory gates and scored their tri business. “The chances of wlnulng at the pol n look that was anything but compli social position will also be taken into umphs In the very heart of music’s icy game." he said, "are about like tills: mentary. "I squelched her right In account. Then with regard to the otll- capital." You take a bushel basket and fill It the lieginning,” she said to a compan cer, he must be at least 23 years of age, The Dandy and Kitchener. with small white benns. Then you ion who was waiting for her. “Hcore his pay and mess allowance must Jean Carrere of tbe I’arls Matin, who put one small black bean Into the bas failure for number two,” said my friend. amount to at least $600, and he must returned recently from Soutlf Africa, ket and shake the lot up. After that “Suppose we try some place else.” have either real estate bringing $150 or relates an encounter of Lord Kitchener go to some ‘skyscraper1 building, say more per annum or a capital of $2500 or with a dandy officer who bad an unfor one about 29 stories blgh. and place a more. If the capital does not exceed tunate effeminate taste in trifles. The penny on the sidewalk In front of It. The next employment office was just man came to him one day bring This done, shoulder your bushel of as crowded with girls and women as $2500 no more than $150, including the young a dainty silk handkerchief, upon beans nnd take the elevator to the roof the first, all seemingly anxious to work, interest, must be drawn in any one ing which, In accordance with a prevailing year. of the building. Then lean over the fashionable fad, be desired him to In edge of the roof and, aiming nt tbe nearly all of them demanding twenty scribe bls autograph. Lord Kitchener dollars, but some of them didn ’ t look The curious sight may be seen in took the cent on the sidewalk below, dump out handkerchief and remarked. as though their services would lie worth tbe beans In the basket all together. Dover of a young tree growing out of a "This Is doubtless your sister's hand Then burry down on the elevntor nnd ten dollars. Gue tall, good-lisiking girl, high mill chimney in a public thorough kerchief?” "No.” replied tbe dandy, rush out to the sldewnlk. If you find arranged to come and try it for a month fare. Notwithstanding its extraordi smiling amiably: "It is mine." Lord that tbe black bean has fallen upon tbe without the preliminary questions. The nary position, the tree has grown two Kitchener handed It back without writ penny, you win.”—New York Times. wage- were to Is- fifteen dollars a month, or three feet high. It is believed to ing on It, only Inquiring ns he did so, every Thursday night off-, and one Sun have its root in an old nest. with an air of serious Interest. "And Tbe Editor Won. what size balrplus do you wear?" day in the month she was to have for A London paper described a dill herself. “Of course you know some A stingleas bee lias been discovered .float »«llatylng. dren’s excursion as a “long, white in Montserrat, in the West Indies. It scream of joy,” and was called to ac thing alsnit cooking,” said my friend. gathers honey, the quality of which They were speakiug of the billion Hire's insufferable pretensions. count by a correspondent, who sold "Not the first thing,” she replied, as that a scream could be long, but not ' she arose from the chair. “I suppoeed cannot be improved by modern hives. "Upon what meat does this our white, whereupon tbe editor justified ’ you wanted a second girl. Of course, If It will tie introduced into this country. Caesar feed that be has grown so himself by urging that “a hue Is often you want a cook, that settles the ques New Zealand, with a death rate of great?” exclaimed Mordaunt bitterly. "Mint’s meat, possibly!” observed associated with a cry.” * tion,” and out she went. “Isn’t this leas than 12 )>er 1000 a year is the most Meltravers, trying to be cheaply witty while yet preserving tbe easy grace of Politeness Is like an nlr cushion - a pretty state of affairs," sighed my healthy of all the British colonies. a man of tin world.—Detroit Five there may tie nothing In It, but It eases friend. The proprietress entered and suggested that we resume our seats and ________ _____ many a hard jolt.—Chicago News Venice has a cafe which has lieen Press. she would send a nice little French lady opened day and night for fifty years. The total number of timber rafts on Mind Is that whl^h precelves, feels, to talk with us who was a number one all tbe rivers of European Itussla Is rememliers , is and Is conscious of cook. Our hearts lieat with pleasant Gallon was originally a pitcher or jar, said to be more than BOJjOO yearly, continued existence. . anticipation of the French cook who no matter of what size. with a total of some 25,0j^^^Joza_ ■I he World’« Large«! Ink Pot. The Trouble« of Br’er William«. It is estimated that 26,000 horses are “De ways er Providence,” said Broth The most unusual curiosity in this killed annually In London. The first sugar mauufactured in this er Dickey, “Is past findlu’ out. Take strange, uncanny land by the Colorado countrj’ was made in New Orleans In Br’er Williams, fer instunce. Fer six river Is what the naturalists in Cali days en dat number er nights be con fornia call a lake of ink. The scientific 1796. More than $50,000,000 worth of tim stant prayed fer rain, en w’eu de ralu journals of Los Angeles aud San Diego ber was destroyed by forest tires last come hit ilrownded de only mule be bad have discussed time and time again en washed his house sideways! Den what the lake of Ink really Is. It Is a year. Three thousand troops were recently he lit In fer ter pray fer dry, en de sun great pool of a black fluid that resem Bent to help tbe Inhabitants subdue a shine so hot dat his eo'nfiel’ wuz burnt bles black writing Ink more than any ter a frazzle, en de new mule what he thing else. It Is about an acre in area. forest fire In Sweden. buyed on a credit wuz sunstroked, en Tlie surface of tlie lake is coated with In tbe south of China silkworms what wuz iff’ er bls bouse ketclied fire, ashes from the volcanoes to the thick have been reared and silk manufactur en sence de well done dried up he ness of about half a foot, and the ex ed for over 3,000 years. didn't have no water ter put it out! plorer In these parts who is not looking During the last ten years 545 miles of Den he got so mad he gone off in a cor out tor tills freak of nature would be Irrigation ditches have been opened In ner ter swear In private, en de preach very apt to walk into it. Arizona, at a cost of $1,508,469. er, cornin’ dat way, beam ’Im swearin’ Surveyors have found that the lake Is It Is said that Nova Scotia will have eu bad 'Im up befo’ a spesliul commit some 300 yards deep in some places, as many apples as last year and that tee eu turned 'Im out de church! En but no bottom can be found in others. they will be of a very superior quality. de las’ time 1 seen ’Im lie wuz seftln’ There is nothing but theory as to tlie As luteARs 1770 the journey from in de place whar his house use ter be rource of the supply of tbe lake, but Liverpool^! London was dangerous on a-readln' er de book er Job!”—Atlanta |:o one seems to know the component account i^pthe bad condition of the Constitution. parts of the acre of black fluid. The roads. Indians say It Is composed of the blood It 1« Beeoiuins Indefinite. Out of KXKOOO.OOO passengers by sea of bad Indians who are suffering In "1 heard you call that man ‘ profess all over tlie world thirty lose their their bell amid the volcanoes. Samples lives and out of tbe same number by or.’ ” of the fluid have been brought to Yuma "Yes. ” rail forty-seven. "Well, there Is something indefinite and Los Angeles for tests and exami Germans have fully $60,000,000 in about that title, and I am naturally nation. It is good for common mark vested In Central American enter curious. Is he a pugilist, a dog trainer, ing purposes. Cotton goods that have prises. and German plantations occupy an Instructor In athletics, a patent med been soaked with the strange black 740,000,000 acres. icine lecturer, a sleight of hand man or fluid keep their color for months, even A method has been invented to sink a scientist of some sort?”—Chicago when exposed to the sun, and the goods have n stiffness that Is somewhat like shafts in the salt islands of Louisiana, Post. weak starch. A gallon of the lake fluid and they may become an important was sent to the Smithsonian institution The Mystery Solved. salt mining center. the other day for analysis.—Indian Mr. Wayback—Be yew the waiter? Englund spends £8,400,000 a year on apolis News. Waiter Yes, sail. her paupers; Scotland. £900,000; Ire Mr. Wayback—Dew yew know. I've land, £1,400,000, while France spends “Fake" Photograph«. been a wonderin' all along why they less than £1,500,000. Two years ago a series of alleged called these places ehophouses. I know Denmark is an agricultural country. photographs of extraordinary feats of About three-fourths of the population now. Will y< w please bring me an skill on horseback attracted wide atten are engaged in the cultivation of the ax? 1 want tew cut this steak. —Les tion when published. Later it was soli. Copenhagen Is the only city of lie’s Weekly. shown that these photographs were any size. clever fakes. In each case the horse Chip Off the Old Block. In Gettysburg park there are about Mrs. Howells Your baby resembles when photographed was standing In a 500 monuments. In addition to this his father very much, don’t you think? normal position on the ground, and the patriotic ornamentation there are 225 Mrs. Growells—Yes, In both looks result was obtained bj- hoisting the pic mounted cannon and over 200 monu and actions. Why, he even makes a ture around and faking the sky line. mental tablets. A similar photographic fake is work specialty of crying for tlie moon In the The term "royal yacht,” hitherto ap daytime instead of at night just for ing successfully at manj’ of the seaside plied to vessels belonging to King Ed the sake of being contrary.—Chicago resorts thiB summer, and tlie patrons of ward VII., will be abandoned hence News. It are young men and women who want forth, and the appellation will be "bls swimming reputations to which they majesty’s yacht.” are not entitled. For Instance, a girl Comic Definition«. Canada Is disappointed in its census. will stand on a post not two feet above The total Is 5.300,000, an increase of tlie water line, posed as for a dive. only 9.7 per cent In ten years. The Tlie photographer produces a picture rate of growth Is less than half that of in which tlie post Is so high that It tbe United Slates. makes one dizzy to look at it. This is No. 1 of the set. In the second picture Chicago alone will handle about 40,- tlie girl Is represented In the act of 000,000 pounds of beet sugar this year. diving from this isist into water thirty Most of It will come from Michigan, or folly feet below. As a matter of where tbe development of the industry fact she makes au ordinary dive from lias been most rapid. the low post, and the photographer The Spanish wine trade, which has adds the distance. The two pictures long been a feeder of the French, has are proof enough of skill iu high div suffered considerably from the very ing, for It is generally believed that the prolific yield of tbe last French vint camera does not He. The photogra age. which lias cheeked Importation. phers who devised the scheme are reap A seel ring, it is said, lias been found ing a rich harvest, but the pictures do In Crete representing the minotaur that not pass for their face value at the was kept in the middle of the Laby swimming beaches.—New York Sun. rinth of Da’dalus. It shows an animal with the head and hoofs of a bull and Zambeala Negroes on Bicycles. the legs of a man seated oil a throne. It does seem ridiculous, but on the A full length marble statue of Dr. authority of a correspondent to a Salis- William Gilbert, the father of elec bury paper the natives from Zembezla trical science and author of "De Mag waj- are returning to their distant and nete,” is Io be erected at the instance savage homes on bicycles! To appre of members of the medical profession ciate the full significance of this state nt Colchester. England, his old home. ment one must realize the thin shank The latest census shows that there ed. Hat footed, bundle carrying, nude are 420,271 horses In Denmark, 188 native pedaling across the wild veldt, for every 100 acres under cultivation with ids pump and other necessary and 195 per 1,000 Inhabitants. The accessories to cycle traveling fastened sheep number 1,058.656, which Is 281 around him. witli a bundle of mealy per 100 acres and 45G per 1,000 In colis flying from Ills side, with a cala habitants. bash of water over Ills back, a digger's Considerable quantities of opal are belt around Ills waist and sundry ox found In Queensland and New South tail ornaments flying from his legs. Wales. In the latter state the com A single rider would be funny enough, moner kinds are found in many locali but a batch of them would present the ties. especially in the neighborhood of strangest feature Imaginable. They ap Orange, but they possess little or no pear to obtain these bicycles cheap too. commercial value. Their mode is first to learn to ride, English magazine writers are raising surreptitiously or otherwise, tl-b^ a cry more like a bowl against British when about to return they watch theliW railway managers for clinging to little opportunity and obtain one while Its engines, little ears and small loads as owner is absent. In a few days they against American Immense engines, are well toward the Zambezi, where ears and loads. In consequence of the policeman ceases to trouble and “TAKING STEPS FOB HIS 11ESCÜB.’’ which freights are four times higher the native is at rest. No wonder the than here. lions are seared from the main route! Au F.qiiiil Divtalon. Eight hundred residents In South -Rhodesia. "So they were divorced, eb?” London have joined a tenants’ protec “Yes. for incompatibility of temper.” Electric Disinfection of Car«. tion league, started a few days ago, "to “now did It come about?” Nothing sweetens or freshens stale enable weekly tenants to combine for “Well, you see, be bad the Incompat self protection ngalnst tbe extortionate ibility, and she bad the temper.”—Les air better than ozone, and now that most of the railway companies have mid Illegal demands of landlords and lie’s Weekly. successfully adopted a system by which rate collectors and for provision of the each carriage on Its journey develops Xot Specific. necessary legal assistance.” Visitor—I’m shocked to find you here. by means of a dynamo attached to the Hoopeston, Ill., demands respectful attention. Its mayor serves for 50 Once you told me you were honest ns axletrees its own current of electricity for lighting purposes there Is no reason cents a year and Its councilmen for the day Is long. Burglar Bill—Yes'tn, but I didn't say why the same current should not be half as much. There has never been a saloon In the place, though It has now nutliln’ about de nights.—Chicago utilized at the same time to ozonize tbe air of the compartment. The quantity a population of 4.000. and Its pave News. of ozone required Is small. The result ments. fire department, water supply Prevented a Suicide. would certainly be good, since the and public works generally are all Cbolly—I saved a girl's life last night ozone has a remarkably destructive ac right. Wotter— How? tion on aerial Impurities and unpleas A statute making it unlawful to add Cbolly Why. when I proposed to her ant smells nnd gives the air a degree of water or nnj' other substance to milk she said — she ’d rather die than marry freshness similar to that of tbe sea that Is Intended for sale Is held by an me, so I excused her.—Baltimore World. breeze.—Lancet. Iowa court to be a constitutional exer cise of the police power, even If the Benny*« Hedge. Privacy at n Discount. substances added are not Injurious or "Benny Bloombumper. how do we The Londoner of todaj’ certainly lias used with intent to defraud, but are know that tbe moon Is 240,000 miles a passion for company, says The merely for the purpose of preserving distant from tbe earth?” Queen, and tbe modern Englishman's the milk. Benny (alarmed at the teacher's man Carlton Is his castle. We drink our tea Dr. William Calvert of Washington ner)—Y-y-you said so yourself, sir. • at Claridge’s In the jnidst of a chatter claims to have eclipsed all other heat ing mob. Having lunched nt Prince's producers by his "pau-heliomotor” fur Sure Sinn. with everybody we ever heard of, we naces, which are said to develop 24,000 “That new author must be a great dine perhaps at the Savoy. We sup in degrees of beat In comparison with the genius.” the pnradlse that lies beyond tlie palm 6,000 developed by the electric arc. This "Why so?" court. Only our breakfast Is devoured heat is said to be absorbed by an amal- "He lias such an unpronounceable In privacy, and next season, I doubt am of metals, which, curiously name."—Atlanta Constitution. not, there will be some smart place Iu enough, Is not fused by this enormous which we shall be able to eat boiled amount of heat. The Hoy of the Family. eggs to the accompaniment of a purple Fiber pipes nnd conduits made from Visitor (as Tommy, enters)—This Is Hungarian band. wood pulp aud treated with a preserva your young hopeful, I suppose. tive are now being put In use. After Mrs. Tucker Well, just at present Food and Gunpowder. the usual grinding the pulp Is wash he's tny young bauds-full. — Chicago So long us the other nations of the eil, screened, passed through a beating Tribune. earth keep more men behind the gun engine and then screened again. Thes and a less number behind the plow She Win Wilting. operations completed, a thin sheet < than does Uncle Sam, just so long will He (virtuously) — I've never dreamed the pulp Is wound on a core until th the United States have a surplus of desired thickness Is secured. Afti- of kissing a girl against her will. I She—How forunate! Dreams go by food to sell to the hungry peoples who drying the tube Is aerated with i preservative. Its ends are then tlnisbe. contraries, you know. — Philadelphia still go on trying to delude themselves into thinking that they can keep fat ou Press. In a lathe to any desired form gunpowder. Boston Herald. Tnatea Differ. Caller—The minister's son Is follow Dealer Hi re, madam. Is a horse I Ing In tbe footsteps of that spendthrift can recommend sound, kind— Above Suspicion. young Jinks. On being Informed that a member of Old Lady Oli. I don't want that sort Miss Prim—Isn't that scandalous? his race bad been sentenced to the pen of a horse He holds bls bead high Caller—Hardly ns bail as that. You itentiary for forgery. Brother Dickey 1 haler— Eh? see. he’s a tailor nnd Is just trying to Old Lady I like a horse Hint holds exclaimed: “Dot's what comes er dis collect bls bill.- Chelsea Gazette. Lis nose close to the ground, so he can yer eddlcatlon Thank de good Lewd see where lie's going.—New York I never could read or write, en what s 'I he most mnuentiai newspaper In mo,’ 1 never will!”-Atlanta Constitu Weekly Rcotlnnd Is the Edinburgh Statesman, tion. nnd the oldest Is the Dundee Adver England Imported last year nearly a tiser. They are edited respectively by million pounds of calcium carbide, In Abyssinia the coffee plant grows Sir John I-eng and Charles Cooper, about two-lhirds of which came from wild in great profuslou nnd derives its both of whom are Englishmen and na France nnd about one-fifth from the name from Kaffa, a district of that tives of Hull, Yorkshire. country. United States.
