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About Bandon recorder. (Bandon, Or.) 188?-1910 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 12, 1901)
(Copyright, iww, by H. G. Wells] “Vo.i cau't be too careful who you marry," said Mr. Brisber aud pulled thougutfully with a tat wristed hand at the lauk mustache that hides his want of chin. •‘That’s why”— I ventured. “Yea,” said Mr. Brlsher, with a sol emn light in his bleary blue gray eyes, moviug liis head expressively and breathing Intimately at me. "There’s lots as 'ave ’ad a try at ine—many as I could name In this town—but none 'ave done it - none." I surveyed the tlushed countenance, the equatorial expansion, the master less carelessness of bls attire, and h -aved a sigli to think that by reason of the u invert Illness of women he must needs be the last of his race. “I was a smart young chap when I was younger," said Mr. Brisber. “I ’ad my work cut out. But I was very careful—very. And I got through”— He leaned over the taproom table and thought visibly on the subject of my trustworthiness. I was relieved at last by bis confidence. “I was engaged once.” he said at last, with a reminiscent eye on the shuv- a’penny board. “So near as that!” He looked at me. “So near as that Fact Is”— He looked about him. brought his face close to mine, lowered his voice and fenced off an unsympa thetic world with a grimy hand. “If she ain't dead or married to some one else or anything—I’m engaged still. Now.” He confirmed this statement with nods and facial contortions “Still,” he said, ending the pantomime and broke into a reckless smile at my surprise “Me! Run away,” lie ex plained further, with coruscating eye brows. “Come 'ome. That ain't all. You'd ’ardly believe it,” he said, “but I found a treasure. Found a regular treasure.” I fancied tills wns irony and did not perhaps greet it with proper surprise. “Yes,” he said. “I found a treasure. And come 'ome. I tell you I could sur prise you with things tliat lias happen ed to me.” And for some time be was content to repeat that he had found a treasure—and left It. I made no vulgar clamor for a story, but I became attentive to Mr. Brlsber’s bodily needs, and presently I led bliu back to the deserted lady. “She was a nice girl.” lie said—a lit tle sadly. I thought—“and respecta ble”— He raised bls eyebrows and tightened bls mouth to express extreme respecta bility—beyond the likes of us elderly men. “It was a long way from ’ere; Essex, In fact, near Colchester. It was when I was up In London—In the buildin trade. I was a smart young chap then, I can tell you. Slim, 'ad best does ’s "’At—silk 'at, mind j/ou.” good as anybody; 'at—silk ’at. mind you”—Mr. Brisher's band shot above his head toward the Infinite to Indicate • silk hat of the h'jhest—“umbrella— savin's. Very careful 1 was.” He was peuslve for a little while, thinking, as we must all come to think sooner or later, of the vanished bright ness of youth. But be refrained from the opportune moral. “I got to know ’er through a man what was engaged to ’er sister. Rhe was stopping In Ixiudon for a lilt with an aunt that 'ad a shop. Tills aunt was very particular—they wns all very particular people, nil 'er people was— and wouldn’t let 'er sister go out with this feller except 'er other sister, my girl that Is. went with them. Ro ’e brought me into It, sort of to ease the crowding. We used to go walks In Battersea park of n Sunday afternoon. I liked 'er from the start, and—well, though I say It, who shouldn’t—she ( liked me. You know ’ow It is, I des say ?” I pretended I did. “And when tills chap married 'er sis ter— ’Im and me was great friends— what must ’e do but arst me down ts Colchester, close by where she lived. Naturally I was introjuced to ’er peo ple, and. well, very soon her and nie waa engaged.” lie repeated “engag ed.” “She lived at ’ome with 'er fa ther and mother, quite the lady, in a very nice little 'ouse with n garden, and remarkable respectable people they waa Rich you might call ’em a'most. They owned their own ’ouse—got it out pf the building society, and cheap, lie cause the chap who had It before was U burglar and in prison—and they 'ad a bit of free’old land and some cottages and money ’nvested. They was what you’d call snug and warm. I tell you, I was on. Furniture too. Why, they ’ad a planner. Jane—'er name was jane— used to play ft Sundays, and very nice she played too. There wasn’t ’ardly a 'ymn toon In the book she couldn’t play. ’’Many's the evening we’ve met and sung ’ymns, me and ’er and the family. ” ’Er father was quite a leading man la chapel. You should ha' seen him Bundays, Interrupting the minister and giving out ’ymns. He ’ad gold specta cles, I remember, and used to look over ’em at you while he sang hearty. He waa always great on singing 'earty to the Lord, and when he got out of toon *arf the people went after 'im—always. 'E was that sort of man. And to walk be’lnd ’Im In 'Is black clothes—’Is 'at was a brimmer made one regular proud to be engaged to ^ueb a father- Ip-law. And when the surfmer came I went down there and stopped a fort night. “Now. you know there was a sort of ’itch," said Mr. Brlsher. "We wanted to marry, me aud Jane did. and get things settled. But ’e said I 'ad to get a proper position first. Consequently there war a 'itch. Consequently when I went down there I was anxious to show that I was a good, usetMl sort of chap like. Show I could tio pretty nearly everything like. See?” I made a sympathetic uoise. “And down at the bottom of their garden was a bit of wild part like. So I says to 'im. 'Why don't you 'ave a rockery 'ere?' 1 says. 'It 'ml look nice.’ “ ’Too much expense,’ he says. “ ’Not a penny.' says 1. ‘I'm a dab at rockeries. I.emme make you one.' You see, I'd 'elped my brother make a rockery In the beer garden be’ind 'is tap, so I knew 'ow to do it to rights. ‘Lemme make you one,' I says. ‘It’s ’olidays, but I'm that sort of cliap. 1 'ate doing nothing,’ I says. 'I'll make you one to rights.’ And the long and the short of It was he said I might. “Aud that's 'ow I couie ou the treas ure.” “What treasure?" 1 asked. "Why," said Mr. Brisker, “the treas ure I’m telling you about, what's the reason why I never married.” "Wliat!—a treasure—dug up?” “Yes—burled wealth—treasure trove. Come out of the ground. What I kept on saying regular treasure.” He look ed at me with unusual disrespect. "It wasn't more titan a foot deep, not tlie top of it.” be said. “I'd ’ardly got thirsty like before I come on the cor ner.” "Go on,” I said. “1 didn't under stand.” "Why. directly I ’it the box I knew it was treasure. A sort of instinct told me. Something seemed to shout luside of me. 'Now's your chance; lie low.’ It's lucky I knew the laws of treasure trove, or I'd ’ave been shouting there and then. I dessay yon know”— “Crown bags it,” I said, “all hut 1 per cent. Go on. It’s n shame. What did you do?” “Uncovered the top of the box. There wasn't anybody In the garden or about like. Jane was 'elping 'er mother do the 'ouse. I was excited, I toll you. 1 tried the lock and then gave a wliaek at the hinges. Silver coins full. Shin ing. It made me tremble to see 'em. And Jest then I'm blessed if the dust man didn't come 'round tlie back of the 'ouse. It pretty nearly gave me 'cart disease to think what a fool I was to 'ave the money showing. And di rectly after I 'card the cliap next door —'e was ’olidaylng. too—watering ’Is beans. If only ’e’d looked over the fence!” “What did you do?” “Kicked the lid In and covered it up like a shot aud went ou digging about a yard away from It like mad. And my face, so to speak, was laughing on its own account till I bad It ldd. I tell you I was regular scared like at my luck. I jest thought that 'ad to be kep’ close, aud that was all. It seemed to me the box was regular sticking out and showing, like your legs under the sheets In bed. and 1 went and put al) the earth I'd got out of my 'ole for the rockery slap ou top of it. I was lu a sweat. And in the midst of it all out toddles 'er father. He didn't say any thing to me, but Jane told me after ward when be went Indoors ’e says. That there jackanapes of yours, Jane’ —he always called me jackanapes some’ow—'knows ’ow to put ’Is back in to it after all.’ Seemed quite impressed by It, ’e did.” “How lopg was the box?” 1 asked suddenly. • "Oh, 'bout so by so.” Mr. Brlsher In dicated a moderate sized truuk. “Full?” said I. “Full up of silver coins—'arf crowns. I believe.” “Why," I cried, "that would mean hundreds of pounds.” “Thousands,” said Mr. Brlsher In a sort of sad calm. “I calc'lated It out.” “But bow”— “All I know is what I found. What I thought at the time was tills: The chap who's owaed the ’ouse before ’er father 'd been a regular slap up bur glar. wliat you’d call a 'igh class crimi nal. Used to drive 'Is trap, like Peace did.” Mr. Brlsher meditated on the difficulties of narration and embarked In a hazardous parenthesis. “I don’t know if 1 told you it’d been a bur glar's house before It was my girl's fa ther's. and I knew ’e’d robbed a mnll train once. I did know that. It seem ed to me”— “That's very likely,” I said. “But what did you do?” “Sweated,” said Mr. Brlsher. “Regu lar run orf me." “All that morning,” said Mr. Brlsher, “I was at It, pretending to make that rockery and wondering wliat I should do. I'd ’ave told 'er father p’raps, only I was doubtful of 'Is honesty—I was afraid be might give It up to the au thorities—and besides, considering 1 was marrying Into the family, I thought it would be nicer like if It came from me. Put me on a better footing, so to speak. Well, I 'ad three days before me, so there wasn't no burry, only I couldn’t think what to do. “1 thought," said Mr. Brlsher, “and I thought Once I got regular doubtful whether I’d seen It or not and went down to It and 'ad It uncovered again lust as her ma come out to 'ang up a bit af washing she’d done. Jumps again. Afterward I was just thinking I’d ’ave another go at it, when Jane comes to tell me dinner was ready. ‘You’ll want It,’ she said, ‘seeing all the 'ole you've dug.' 1 was in a regular daze nil din ner wondering whether that chap next door wasn't over the fence and tilling 'Is pockets. But lu the afternoon I got easier lu my mind—it seemed to me It must ’ave been there so long It was pretty sure to stop a bit longer and I tried to get up a bit of dlscusslou to drawr out the old man and see what 'e thought of treasure trove." Mr. Brisber paused and affected amusement at the memory. "The old matt was a scorcher," he said, “a regu lar scorcher.” “Wliat," said I; “did he”— "It wns like this,” explained Mr. Brlsher, laying a friendly band on my arm and breathing Into my face to calm me. "Just to drawr ’Im out I told a story of a chap I said I knew—pre tending, you know—who'<1 found a sov’- rlug In an overcoat ’e’d borrowed. I said ’e stuck to It, but I said I wasn't sure whether that was right or not. And then the old man began. Ixtrd, 'e did let me 'ave It!” Mr. Brlsher affect ed an tnsiucere amusement. " t. waa a rare 'and ut snacks. Said that was the sort of friend 'e’d naturally expect me to 'ave. Said 'e’d naturally expect that from the friend of a loafer who took up with daughters who didn't be long to 'im. There, I couldn't tell you arf 'e saiti. 'E went on most outra geous. I stood up to 'im about It just to drawr ’im out. ‘Wouldn’t you stick to a 'arf sov not If you found It In the street?* I says. 'Certainly not,' ’e says, ‘certainly I wouldn't.’ 'What, not if you fouud It as a sort of treasure?’ 'Young man.' '«• says, ‘there's 'igher thorlly than mine. Render unto Caesar —what Is it? Yes.’ Well, lie fetched up that. A rare 'and at ’itting you over the 'end with the Bible was the old man. And so ’e weut on, 'E got to such snacks about me at last I couldn't stand it. I'd promised Jane not to an swer 'Im back, but It got a bit too thick. I—I give It ’im.” Mr. Brisker by means of enigmatical face work tried to make me think he had had the best of the argument, but I knew better. “I went out in a ’uff at last, but not before 1 was pretty sure 1 'ad to lift that treasure by myself. The only thing that kep' me up was tliiuklng 'ow I'd take It out of 'Im when I 'ad the cash.” There was a lengthy pause. “Now, you'd 'ardly believe it, that all them three days I never 'ad a chance at tlie blessed treasure, never got out not even a 'arf crown. There was al ways a something—always. “ 'Stonisliing thing It isn't thought of more," said Mr. Brlsher. “Finding treasure's no great shakes. It's getting it. I don't suppose I step’ a wink any of those nights, thinking where I was to take It. what I wns to do with It, 'ow I was to explain it. It made me regular 111. Ami days I was that dull It made lane regular 'uffy. 'You ain't the same cliap you wns in London,’ she said sev eral times. I tried to lay it on 'er fa ther and 'is snacks, but, Idess you, she knew better. Wliat must she 'ave but that I'd got another girl on my mind. Well, we 'ad a lilt of a row. But I was that set on the treasure I didn’t seem to mind a bit anything she said. “Well, at last I got a sort of plan. 1 was always a bit good at planning, though carrying out Isn’t so much In even then I couldn't 'ave took money about loose in a trap. I hoisted oue end sort of wild like, ami over the whole show went with a tremendous noise. Perfeck smash of silver And then right ou the heels of that, flash! Light ning like the day. and there was the back door open aud the old man com ing dowu the garden with ‘is blooming old gun. He wasn't not a ’undred yards away. “I tell you I was that upset 1 didn’t think what I was doing. I never stop ped, not even to till my pockets. I weut over the fence like a shot aud ran like I o'clock for the trap, cussing as I went. I was in a state. “And, will you believe me, when I got to the place where I'd left the 'orse and trap they'll gone. Orf! When I saw tliat, I hadn't a cuss left for it. I Jest danced on the grass, and when I'd danced enough I started off to London. I was done.” Mr. Brisber was pensive for an inter val. “1 was done," lie repeated very bitterly. “Well?" 1 said. “That's all,” said Mr. Brlsher. “You didn’t go back?” “No fear. I’d 'ad enough of tliat blooming treasure auy’ow for a bit. Besides, I didn’t know what was done to chaps who tried to collar a treasure trove. I started orf for London there and then." “And you never went back?” “Never.” “But about Jane? Did you write?" “Three times—fishing like. And no answer. We’d parted In a bit of a ’uff on account of 'er being Jealous. So that I couldn't make out for certain wliat it meant. “I didu't know wliat to do. 1 didn’t even know whether tlie old man knew It was me. I sort of kep’ an eye open on papers to see when he’d give up that treasure to the crown, as I hadn’t a doubt ’e would, considering ’ow re spectable ’e’d always been.” “And did he?” Mr. Brlsher pursed Ids mouth and moved Ills bead slowly from side to side. “Not ’im,” he said. “Jane was a nice girl,” he said, “a thorough nice girl, mind you, if Jealous, and there's no knowing I mightn't 'ave gone back to ’er after a bit. I thought If ’e didn’t give up the treasure I might 'ave a sort of 'old on ’im. Well, one day I looks as usual under Colchester, and there I saw 'Is name. Wliat for, d’you think?” I could not guess. Mr. Brisher's voice sank to a whis per, and once more he spoke behind Ids hand. His manner was suddenly suf fused with a positive Joy. “Issuing counterfeit coins,” he said; “counter feit coins.” “You don't mean to say"— “Yes; I do. Quite a long case they made of It. But they got 'Im, though he dodged treuienjous. Traced ’is ’av- lug passed, oh. nearly a dozen bad 'arf crowns.” “And you didn't”— “No fear. Aud It didn't do 'Im much good to say It was treasure trove.” A Startlius Sermon. I went over the fence like <t shot. my line. I thought It all out and set tled on a plau. First I was going to take all my pockets full of these 'ere 'arf crownB—see?—and afterward, as I shall tell. “Well, I got to that state 1 couldn't think of getting at tlie treasure again in tlie daytime, so I waited until tlie night before I 'nil to go, and then when everything was still up I gets and slips down to tho back door, meaning to get my pockets full. What must I do in tlie scullery out fall over a pail. Up gets ’er father with a gun—’e was a light sleeper, was 'er father and very suspicious aud there was me. 'Ad to explain I'd come dowu to the (tump for a drink because my water bottle was bad. ’E didn't let me off a snack or two over that bit, you lay a bob.” "And you mean to say”— I began. "Wait a bit," said Mr. Brlsher. “1 say, I'd made my (dan. That put the kybosli on one bit, but It didn't 'urt the general scheme. I went, and I finished that rockery next day, as though there wasn’t a snack lu the world. Cemented over tlie stones, I did, dabbed it green and everything. I put a dab of green Just to show where the box was. They all came and looked at It and snid 'ow nice It was. Even ’e was a bit softer like to see It, and all ’e said was, ‘It's a pity you can’t always work like that, then you might get something definite to do,' he says. ’Yes,’ I says—I couldn’t ’elp it—'I put a lot In that rockery,’ 1 says like that. Hee? ‘I put a lot into that rockery,’ meaning”— “I see,” said I, for Mr. Brisber Is apt to overelaborate his jokes. "'E didn't," said Mr. Brlsher. "Not then anyhow. “’Owever, after all that was over off I set for London, on’y I wasn't going to no London." said Mr. Brlsher with sud den animation and thrusting his face Into mine. "No fear. What do you think? “I didn't go no farther than Colches ter, not a yard. "I'd left the spade Just where 1 could find It. I'd got everything planned and right. I 'Ired a little trap In Colchester and pretended I wanted to go to Ips wich and stop the night and come back next day, aud the chap I ’ired ft from made me leave 2 sov’rlngs on It right away, aud off I set. I didn't go to no Ipswich neither. “Midnight the 'orse and trap was 'itched by the little road that ran by the cottage where ’«• lived, not yards off, It wasn't, and I was at it like a good un. It was Jest the night for such games—overcast, but a trifle too 'ot, and all around the sky there was sum mer lightning and presently a thunder storm. Down It came. First big drops lu a sort of fizzle, then 'all. I kep’ on. I whacked nt It. I didn't dream the old man would 'ear. I didn’t even trouble to go quiet with the spade, and the thunder and lightning and 'ail seemed to excite me like. I shouldn’t wonder If 1 wns singing. I got so 'ard nt It I clean forgot the thunder and the 'orse and trap. I precious soon got the box showing ami started to lift It.” “Heavy?" I said. "I couldn't uo more lift It than fly. I wns sick. I'd never ex(>eeted that. I got regidar wild, I tell you. I cursed. I got sort of outrageous. I didn't think of dividing It like for n minute, and Once when Father llonore, a cele brated Capuchin of tlie seventeenth century, was preaching on the vanity of the world he suddenly produced a skull, which he held up to view. “Speak!” lie cried. “Were you not per haps the head of a magistrate? Si lence gives consent.” Then, clapping upon the skull the cap of a Judge, he continued: “Ah, ha! Hast thou never Bold Justice for gold? Hast thou never been snoring many times during a bear ing, etc.? How many magistrates have sat under the fleurs-de-lis only to put virtue at a disadvantage?" Casting aside the skull, he held up another, which In like manner lie ad dressed, “West thou not perhaps the skull of one of those beautiful ladles who occupy themselves only with eatchlng hearts after the manner of bird catching?” Then, arraying It in a headdress, he continued: “Ah, ha, Empty head! Where are those lovely eyes which east such fascinating glances, that pretty mouth which shap ed such gracious smiles, that made so many unhappy ones to weep In bell? Where are those teeth which chewed upon so many liearts only to mako them more tender for the devil’s eat ing?” and so on, bringing forth skull after skull and appropriately decking them to receive Ills reproofs. Batkina a Babe In Ranala. The Russian peasants have a way of bathing their babies, the principle of which might well be adopted in our own luxurious nurseries. A large, thick log about four feet long Is hollowed out so as to form as deep a cavity as possible. This is set up on crossbar sticks at either end, which brings It to about the height of a small tea table and enables the nurse to bathe the ba by while standing up. The hollowed space In the log Is filled with water, which Is poured over a flannel sheet which has been laid at the bottom with the ends hanging over, and a small flannel pillow is placed at one end to support the bead of the child above the water. The Infant Is then laid In the water as If In a bed, and greatly does the wee tot enjoy the untrammeled kicking and splashing. In takltig him out the flannel sheet Is raised on either side and wrapped about him and he Is carried, warm and moist, to the fire to be rubbed dry with hot towels. Sacramento Record-Union. Advice tn Ills Answers. The Rev. John McNeill was holding a revival service at Cardiff, Wales, and announced that be would nnswer any question about the Bible. At once a note wns sent up to him reading as follows: “Dear Mr. McNeill—If you are seeking to help young men, kindly tell me who was Caln’s wife.” That seemed a poser, and the audi ence waited with Intense interest, tem pered with amusement, to see how the good man would extricate himself. Aft er a pause he said: “I love young men, especially young Inquirers for light, and I would give this young man a word of advice. It Is this: Don't lose your soul’s salvation looking after other people's wives.” The Same Old Cry, "1 wonder what Eve said when she found she had to leave the garden of Eden,” said Mr. Grumpin's wife. "It was Just about what all women say when they are stnrting on a jour ney. 8be complained that she didn't have a thing to wear."—Washington Star. ENGLISH SPARROWS. Oalee at Wlil.ti Tlie.e Bird. Were Imported lute This Country. I have been asked several times late ly at wbut date the eommou English sparrows were imported luto the Unit ed States aud by whom. It seems that the first attempt was made In 1858 by a private citizen of Portland, Me. In the fall of that year be liberate«! six sparrows, and they Im mediately made themselves at home tn his garden and outbuildings. For a few years these birds and their de scendants were seen In and about the town lu small squads. These birds multiplied until in the winter of 1871 a flock of them iipi>eared lu every near by town, thus showing their tendency to spread over adjoining territory. Alsutt 184MI 12 birds were Imported «nd liberate*! near Madison square, New York city, and this was repeated for several seasons. In 18*14 the commissioners of New York liberated 1-1 birds In Central park. About this time numerous persons re turning from abroad brought a few birds home and set them at liberty In aud about Jersey City. The craze for Importing these birds spread, and in 1898 the city govern ment of Boston Imported a great num ber. But the birds had not been care fully handled, ami they did not thrive, anil others were brought over. The birds which survived from these va rious Importations were carefully fed and looked after by the city govern ment. In 1800 a thousand were Imported amt liberated in the city of Philadel phia, and soon the birds spread over all adjacent territory. About this time the Smithsonian In stltutlon became interested In bringing these birds to this country, so they im ported 300, but most of them died. In 18*1 the same institution brought over another lot, ami they were successfully care*! for. From this It Is seen that the birds have started from a number of points and were not oue or two importations to New York, as is usually supposed.— Washington Post. Ask for Our New Price List The man is properous who saves a dollar on this and a half dollar on that; the prices quote«! in our new complete -In-page list help you in this direction. It pays you to deal where no false representations are made, but where goods are sold directly as advertised. Isn't it much more satisfactory ami much easier to sit down at home, look over the catalogue, seks't the goods require«! and mail your order, than to depend upon st«>rvs where the stock is small, as well as assortment incomplete, and get something that does not give half satisfaction, uotwithstanding that you «lo pay an extravagant price'.’ Smith’s Cash (Dept.) Store No. 25 Market Struct, San Francisco. STOVES. BLAKE, MOFFITT & TOWNE Imperierà and Dealers to Book, New«, Writing «nd Owing to the mildness of the climate Wrapping... lu Portugal beating stoves are rarely CARD 8TOCK used In that country. STRAW AND BINDERS' BOARD Heating and cooking stoves are both , Flrwt Ht. used by the upper classes in Greece, T bl . main 109. HAN FRANCISCO. but the lower classes still live without using either. Nicely furnish« Very few heating anil cooking stoves u.l room* by the day, w ut) k or are used in Paraguay. All the houses month, en «nit* have brick stoves built In them, so that or single.at low rates. Country iron stoves have little or no sale. patronage solicited, and no pains will be spared Stoves made of tiling are In general to make them comfortable during tiieir visit. use in Austria. They are said to be su BOB Market st, and d EHI-, St., corner perior to iron stoves on account of th«1 stockton. S4111 Francisco. great economy of fuel possible by their Telephone Red 3LM. M RS. RANFT, Prop. use. There Is lu the Mediterranean coun * SAM MARTIN CHAS CAMM tries a widespread prejudice against all For 23 years with For 3 years with C. E. Whitney & Co. artificial heat, and consequently not C, E. Whitney & Co. more than one house in six Is ever heat ed during th«1 winter time. NEW COMMISSION HOUSE Iron cooking stoves are almost an unknown luxury among the people of South America anil the West Indies. They still cook in o(x'n fireplaces and 121-123 Davis St., San Francisco. by other primitive methods. The cooking stove, as it Is known in | General Commission and the United States, does very little serv Produce. ice in France. A few are lu us«1 In th«1 »Specialty, Butter, Eggs and Cheese. country, but in most farmhouses th«1 Tennvrlvnnla Weasel*. Possibly few who read of "kings’ cooking Is done In a large open fir«1- i Yo«r consignments solicited. robes of royal ermine" appreciate that pViee. In the cities a furnace is built the rightfid and first possessors of the In the small kitchen. beauteous coat Is sometimes a denizen >f the Keystone State. It may be that l‘n,iiiK «lie Landlord, The proprietor of one of the new some subtle force suggested to turn coat monarchs to choose the pelt of this apartment bouses near Fifth avenue animal for their owu. In fact, during lias (>ald a rather heavy penalty for the greater portion of the year the er having a cartoonist as one of his ten mine Is a l>luin egg sucking weasel. As ants. The artist wanted some changes wiuter eouies on he assumes a white made lu the decoration of his apart Al! th«1 world knows that coffee lu ment, and the proprietor declined to tout, with a black tipped tall. excessive use is injurious. And yet Ptltolus noveboraeeusls, as the scien make them. Th«1 proprietor's features th«1 coffee lover cannot stand taste less cereals. There has to this time tist calls the weasel or ermine, ranges are pronounced, and lie wears long, been no happy medium between from North Carolina away up Into Can flowing side whiskers. Ills face, dis Cafó Bland tills the void with the ada. It is rare, however, to take er torted to suit the cartoonist's fancy, Ix-st elements of Ixitli. It is richer mine or white coated weasels lu Penn has appeared nearly every week in 0m1 than straight (toffee, ami many will sylvania, although two specimens have of th«1 comic papers. Sometimes the not be easily convince«! that it is Just been received at the Academy of proprietor figures as the villain am) not all coffee. But we guarantee Natural Sciences from Sullivan county. again us the countryman who Is bun that Café Bland contains less than In fact, south of Pennsylvania the wea- koed every week In the pages of this fifty tier cent coffee, which is scien tifically blended witli nutritious tel never changes color In wiuter, aud publication. The cartoonist lets the fruits and grains, thus not only this fact goes far to substantiate the whiskers grow from week to week; displacing over fifty per cent of tlie theory of protective coloration. Thus then, Just as his victim Imagines that cattein, but neutralizing that which when snow covers the ground the white they will grow so long that Ills frleml remains and still retaining tin* rich ermine becomes nearly Invisible, while will not recognize him, the artist trims coffee flavor. To those who suffer in his weasel’s guise during the sum the whiskers down again. The propri with the heart, to dyspeptics and mer l>e Is not nearly so conspicuous as etor of th«1 apartmeut house has con to nervous people Cafe Bland is lie would be did he wear Ills white I'ont cluded that the only way In which lie especially recommended as a liealt h- can get even with tlie cartoonist Is to .11 the year round. ful and delicious beverage, so satis fying that only tlie member of the Another Interesting fact Is that while put in a bill for services as model.—New family making the change in the the animals that live In the uortb al York Sun. coffee knows then» lias been one. ways cliauge color those In the south do More healthful, richer and less ex WOMEN AND DREAMS. not, the reason being that their white pensive than straight cot!'«1«1. Better color would not protect, but destroy, Superstition Tliat Is Kite Even in every respect. 25 cents per tb. them, as there Is almost no snow in the Amona th*- Educated Enlr 8,t. Your grocer will get it for you. south.—Philadelphia Record. Ask for It doesn't seem possible that in this enlightened age superstition could lie A Cruel Blnnder. rife among th«1 educated, but there are Two brothers Imd the habit of «'ailing nevertheless a number of young wom on the same South Side girl. One of en wlio converse fluently, if not elo the brothers. George, was to take part quently, In tliris1 languages, and who In some private theatricals, and the read Spencer mid Browning and Emer girl had promised to fix up a shirt and son, but who place a dreambook with a pair of shoes for his costume. The their Bible on tlie table beside the bed, articles were to be delivered to her on and consult it In the morning the first a certain evening. thing. Flank, the second brother, took It in With a credulity worthy of a negro Pronouncud car fay—accent on last syllable to bls head to call on the girl that same mammy. If tlielr sleep has been visited evening. Frank knew nothing of the with unusual visitors they seize tills arrangements George bad made with volume as soon as their eyes are fairly %% here fie Failed. her to help him with Ills costume. He opeu and look for an explanation. If Tlie young man drew himself up to rang the bell, asked the maid to tell the misfortune Is foretold by It. the seeker his full height. girl that Mr. Allen had called and sut after knowledge assumes a bravado “I have,” he cried, “an unsullle«! down In the parlor. she Is far from feeling. “I don’t care,” Character, an ardent heart, a versatile The maid went up stairs and present she says to herself, by way of bolster mind and strenuous biceps.” ly returned, trying hard not to smile. ing up her courage. “I am not super The young girl yawned nnd seemed "Miss Jones says she Is busy Just stitious, anyway, and I don't believe In Interested. now and that you are to send up your such arrant nonsense." But she’s nerv He was quick to push his advantage. shirt and shoes," was the message she ous just the same for »lays until her “I am the possessor of a town and handed Frank. troubles have driven this mythical one country house, a yacht, n stable of “What?" lie yelled. out of her mind. thoroughbreds am) a box at the opera." "I'm to take up your shirt ami shoes.” There's one young woman known to She hesitated, and a slight flush be "Thanks, but I may need them my the writer who never dreams of a trayed that she was listening. self to go home with. 1 hope Miss Jones young child without shivering and “I have got.” he continued, with a will be better In the morning. Never shaking for days after in fear of some certain fierceness. "30 servants, 40 mind; I will close the door myself.”— dreadful thing happening to her. She pairs of trousers, 50 ancestors, three Chicago Chronicle. has not consulted a dreambook on the automobiles, six prize bull pups and subject, and so she doesn't know how an army commission.” Dinliearten I ng. Ah. she hail found her tongue at last! Even the clergyman, noble and In infants and bail luck became connected "Am! how many golf medals?” she spiring ns Ills vocation Is. has now and In her mind, but nevertheless, nfter she has had a visit of this sort while sleep lisped. then Ills bad moments. Tlie young man shuddered. "Oh, sir," sahl a poor woman to a ing, she says prayers of unusual length He felt that lie bud lost. He had Scotch tM ulster, who was by no means and then makes up her mind to be pa played nervlly and high, but she was a popular preacher, “well do I like th<> tient under afflictions sore. She Is an Intelligent woman, mind above bis limit.—Judge. day when you give us the sermon." "Indeed!" snid the minister, flushing you, but she doesn't attempt to explain The, Like Fat Girin In Tania. with pleasure. “1 wish there were the terror that besets her at this par A Tunisian girl lias tio chance of mar more like you, my good woman. It is ticular dream. She doesn't call herself riage unless she tips the scale at 200 leldotn I hear such words from any superstitious—of course no woman does, m.t even the on«1 who wouldn't pounds, and to that end she commences one.” to fatten when she Is 15 years old. She “Maybe their hearing's stronger than walk under n ladder but her friends mine, sir,” said the woman promptly, do nnd make light of her until she ex takes aperients and cats a great deal of sweet stuff and lends a sedentary “but when you preach I can always get poses some fetich of theirs, when the subject Is carefully avoided afterward. life to hasten the process. Up to 15 she a gootl seat.”—Youth's Companion Is very handsome, but at 20 what an — Ba It I mor«1 American. Immense, unwieldy mass of fat she be A Clock Hnn by Balls. A Professional ninntler. comes! She waddles, or, rather, undu A clock owned In England Is run by "I am satisfied now that I have made lates, along the street Her costume Is balls which fall Into pockets on the a professional blunder In your case," very picturesque, especially If she be right side of a wheel, which revolves th«1 physician sahl, noting the symp of the richer class. They are clothed and operates the works. The balls drop toms of Ills patient. In fine silks of resplendent hues of a Info a drawer when the wheel revolves "A blunder, doctor? Don’t I seem to bright red, yellow or green and wear a far enough The clock Is "wound up" be Improving fast enough?" Sort of conical shapix! headdress, from by placing the balls In a receptacle on “You are Improving too fast. Your which depends a loose white drapery. top of the clock.—Jewelers’ Circular- malady had begun to Interest me ex Turkish trousers and dainty slippers, Weekly. ceedingly, and 1 wanted to see wliat It the heel of which barely reaches the A rmiler. would develop Into if allowed to ruu, middle of the foot, complete the cos Lady Passenger- Do you know, cap but I stupidly gave you a prescription tume. tain, I ha««' never been able to under that has knocked It entirely out of your *1*00 Rich For Fllna. stand how you find your way across system.”—Chicago Tribune. Jinks (meeting Winks In light lunch the ocean? cafe) —Hello! Wlint nre you doing here? Captain Why. by the compass. The Not Correlative. Winks—Getting my lunch, of course. needle always points to the north. Mrs. Housekeep—Do you really mean Jinks—But I thought you were keep Lady Passenger—Yes, I know, but to say you are looking for work? sup|>oslng you want to go south?-Glas- Harvard Hasbeen— No. lady: that's ing a swell restauraut down town. Winks—So 1 am, but I wouldn’t keep gow Times. neither wliat I said nor what I meant to say. 1 said 1 was looklug for em 1 It long if 1 ate there. It’s too expen sive.—1’lilladelpbla Press. Th» flay. ployment.— Philadelphia Press. Ilenry .1 Byron, on«1 of the wittiest The Immortal Shakespeare Is said to of English plnywrights of a score of The flrst anthracite coal known to be y«'ars ago, remarked on one occasion: have worn earrings, and Charles I Is such was discovered at Maneb Chunk. “A play Is like a cigar. If It's good, reputed to have been the owner of a I Pa., In 1791. The Lehigh Coal Mining everybody wants a box; if It’s bad. nil magnificent pa'r of pearl earrings, company began business in the satns the putting in llie world won't make It which he bequeathed to Ills daughter ' year, making a commodity of the re ‘be day beforo lie was executed. cent discovery. - PO.” THE CUSTER MARTIN, CAMM SCO. Most Healthful Coffee In the World.
