Bandon recorder., August 15, 1901, Image 3

or Him.“ »am tue skipper sortiy as tua
boat grazed the side. “Just step for'ard
aud let the bands know wliat's expect­
ed of ’em. When we get to sea, It
By W. W. JAOOB8,
won’t matter.”
AutMrof “Many Caryuu” and “Th» Sklpp«r'a
The mate moved off grumbling as the
Wuointf.”
small fare stood on th* thwarts aud
scrambled up over th» side. The wa­
(Cop/righl, lvou, by W. W. Jacoba J
terman passed up the chest and. drop­
“Wapplng Old Stairs,'’ said tbs rough
ping the coppers into his pocket, push­
individual, shouldering the brand new
ed off again without a word.
sea chest and starting off at a trot with
"Well, you’ve got here all right,
It; “yus, I kuow the place, eaptlu.
Ralph,” said the skipper. "What do
Fust v’y’ge, sir?”
you think of her?”
"Aye, aye, uiy hearty," replied the
“She’s a rakish looking craft,” said
owner of the chest, a small, ill looking
the boy. looking rouud the dingy old
lad of 14. “Not so fast with those
tub with much satisfaction, “but
timbers of yours. D’ye hear?”
where’s your arms?”
"All right, sir,” said the man aud,
"Hush!” said the skipper and laid his
Blackening Ills pace, twisted bls head
finger on his nos«*.
round to take stock of bls companion.
"Oh, all right,” said the youth testily,
“This ain’t your fust v’y’ge, eaptln,”
"but you might tell me.”
be said admiringly. “Don’t tell me. I
“You shall know all in good time,”
could twig that directly 1 see you. Ho,
said the skipper patiently, turning to
what's the use o’ trying to alm it over
the crew, who came shuttling up, mask­
a poor ’ard working man like that?"
ing broad grins with dirty palms.
"I don't think there's much about the
"Here’s a new shipmate for you, my
sea I don't know.” said the boy In a
tads, lie's small, but he's the right
satisfied voice. “Starboard, starboard
stuff."
your helium a bit.”
The newcomer drew himself up and
The man obeyed promptly.
They
went the remainder of the distance iu regarded the crew with some dissatis­
this fashion, to the great Inconvenleuce faction. For desperadoes they looked
of people coming from the other di­ far too good tempered and prone to
levity.
rection.
“What’s the matter with you, Jem
“And a cheap 'arf crown's worth, too.
eaptln.” said the man as he thought­ Smithers?" inquired the skipper, scowl­
fully put the chest down at the head ing at a huge fair haired man who was
of the stairs aud sat on It pending pay­ laughing discordantly.
"I was thlnkln o' the last party I kill­
ment
“I want to go off to the Susan .lane,” ed, sir,” said Jem with sudden gravity.
said the boy, turning to a waterman "I allers laugh when 1 think ’ow he
who was sitting In his boat, holding on squealed.”
"You laugh too much,” said the other
to the side of the steps with Ills hand.
“All right” said the man. “Give us sternly as he laid a hand on Ralph's
shoulder. "Take a lesson from this fine
a hold o’ your box.”
He doesn’t laugh.
lie acts.
“Put it aboard,” said the boy to the feller.
Take 'irn down below an show him 'is
other man.
“A’ right, eaptln.” said the man, with bunk."
“Will you please to follow me, sir?”
a cheerful smile; “but I’ll 'ave my ’arf
said Smithers, leading the way below.
crown fust if you don’t mind.”
“But you said sixpence at the sta­ "1 dessay you’ll find it a bit stuffy, but
that’s owing to Bill Dobbs. A reg’ler
tion,” said the boy.
“Two an’ sixpence, eaptln,” said the old sea dog Is Bill, always sleeps in 'Is
man, stili smiling; “but I'm a bit 'usk.v, clothes and never washes.”
"I dou’t think the worse of him for
an p’r’aps you didn't ’ear the two.
’Arf a crown’s the regler price. We that." said Ralph, regarding the fer­
menting Dobbs kindly.
ain't allowed to do it under.”
“You'd best keep a civil tongue In
“Well, I won’t tell anybody,” sakl the
your 'ed. my lad,” said Dobbs shortly.
boy.
"Never mind ’lm,” said Smithers
“Give the man ’Is ’arf crown,” said
the waterman, with sudden heat. cheerfully. “Nobody takes any notice
“That’s 'is price, an my fare's 18 o' old Dobbs. You can ’It 'lm If you
like. I won't let him hurt you.”
pence.”
"1 don't waut to start by quarreling,”
“All right." said the boy readily,
“cheap too. 1 didn’t know the price, said Ralph seriously.
“You're afraid,” said Jem tauntingly.
that’s all. But 1 can't pay either of you
till I get aboard. I’ve only got sixpence. "You'll never make one of us ’It ’lm.
I'll tell the captain to give you the I won’t let 'lm ’urt you.”
Thus aroused, the boy, first directing
rest.”
“Tell ’oo?” demanded the light porter Dobbs' attention to bis stomach by a
curious duck of his head, much admir­
with some violence.
ed as a feint in bls neighborhood,
“The captain,” said the boy.
“Look 'ere. you give me that ’arf struck him In the face. The next mo­
crown.” said the other, “else I’ll chuck ment the forecastle was in an uproar
and Ralph prostrate on Dobbs’ knees
your box overboard an you after It.”
“Walt a minute then,” said the boy, frantically reminding Jem of bls prom­
darting away up the narrow alley ise.
“All right, 1 won’t let ’lm ’urt you,”
which led to the stairs. “I'll go and get
said Jem consollugly.
change.”
“But he Is hurting me,” yelled the
“’E’s goln to change 'arf a suvren or
p’raps a suvren.” said the waterman. boy. "He Is hurting me now.”
“You’d better make It five bob, matey.”
"Well, wait till I get ’Im ashore,” said
“Ab, an you make yours more,” said Jem. "His old woman won’t know him
the light porter cordially. “Well, I’m— when I’ve done with him.”
well, of all the”—
The boy's reply to this was a torrent
“Get off that box,” said the big po­ of shrill abuse, principally directed to
liceman who had come bnek with the Jem's facial shortcomings.
boy. “Take your sixpence aud go. If I
"Now, don’t get rude,” said the sea­
catch you down this way again”—
man, grinning.
He finished the sentence by taking
“Squint eyes!” cried Ralph fiercely.
the fellow by the scruff of the neck and
"When you've done with that ’ere
giving him a violent push as he passed young gentleman, Dobbs,” said Jem
him.
with exquisite politeness, "I should
“Waterman’s faro Is threepence,” he like to 'ave 'lm for a little bit to teach
said to the boy trs the man in the boat 'Im manners.”
with an utterly expressionless face
“ ’E don't want to go,” said Dobbs,
took the chest from him. “I’ll stay here grinning, as Rnlph clung to him. “He
till he has put you aboard.”
knows who’s kind to him.”
"Walt till 1 get a chance at you,”
sobbed Ralph as Jem took him away
from Dobbs.
"Lord lumme.” said Jem, regarding
him In astonishment. “Why, he’s ac-
tooally crylu. I’ve seen a good many
pirates In my time, Bill, but this Is a
new sort.”
"Leave the boy alone,” said the cook,
a fat, good natured man. “Here, come
.ere, old man. They don’t mean no
’arm.”
Glnd to escape, Ralph made bls way
over to the cook, grinding his teeth
with-sbame as the cook took him be­
tween 1 i 1 b knees and mopped his eyes
with something which he called a
handkerchief.
“You’ll be all right,” he said kindly.
“You'll be as good a pirate ns any of us
before you've finished.”
"Walt till the first engagement. tliat’B
all.” sobbed the boy. “If somebody
don't get shot In the back. It won't be
my fault."
The two seamen looked at each other.
“That’s wot hurt my ’and, then," said
Dobbs slowly. “I thought it was a
Jackknife.”
He reached over and unceremonious­
ly grabbing the boy by the collnr pulled
“Remember this ’ere thip't a pirate."
him toward him and drew a small,
boy and then at the figure on the steps
cheap revolver from his pocket. “Look
and apparently suppressing a strong In­
at that. Jem!"
clination to speak spat violently over
"Take your fingers off the blarsted
the side.
trigger, and then I will.” said the other
“Fine big chap,ain't he?” said the boy.
somewhat sourly.
The waterman, affecting not to hear,
“1’11 pitch it overboard.” said Dobbs.
looked over his shoulder and pulled
“Don’t be a fool. Bill,” said Smithers,
Btrongly with his left toward a small
pocketing ft. “That’s worth a few pints
schooner, from the deck of which a
o’ anybody's money. Stand out o’ the
couple of men were watching the tinall
way. Bill The plrlt king wants to go
figure In the boat.
on deck.”
“That's the boy I was going to tell
Bill stood aside as tlie boy went to
you about,” said the skipper, • and re­
the ladder and allowing him to get up
member this 'ere ship's a pirate.”
four or five steps did the rest for him
“it’s got a lot o’ pirates aboard of it,” with Ids shoulder. The boy reached
said the mate fiercely, as he turned and the deck on all fours and, regaining a
regarded the crew, “a set o’ lazy, loaf­ more dignified position as soon as pos­
ing, idle, worthless”—
sible, went and leaned over the side,
“It’s for the boy’s sake,” Interrupted regarding with lofty contempt the busy
the skipper.
drudges on wharf and river.
“Wbere'd you pick 'lm up?” Inquired
They sailed nt midnight and brought
the other.
up in the early dawn in Longreach,
“He's the son of a friend o’ mine where a lighter loaded with barrels
what I’ve brought aboard to oblige,” came alongside, and the boy smelled
replied the skipper. "He's got a fancy romance and mystery when he learned
for being a pirate, so Just to oblige ..is that they contained powder.
They
father I told him we was a pirate. Ho took in ten tons, the lighter drifted
wouldn’t have come If I hadn't"
away, the hatches were put on, and
“I’ll pirate him,” said the mate, rub­ they started once more.
bing his bands.
It wns his first voyage, nnd he re­
"He’s a drendful 'andful by all ac­ garded with eager Interest the craft
counts,” continued the other. “Got hla pnssing up nnd down. He hnd made
’ed stuffed full o’ these 'ere penny his peace with the senmen, nnd they
dreadfuls till they’ve turned bls brain regaled him with blood curdling stories
almost. He started by being an Indian of their adventures in the vnln hope of
and goln off on 'is own with two other horrifying him.
kids. When 'e wanted to turn canni­
“’E’s a beastly little rascal, that's
bal, the other two objected and gave wot ’e is.” snld the Indignant Bill, who
'lm in charge. After that he did a bit o’ lintl surprisea nimseir oy tils powers or
burgling, and it cost 'is old man no end narration. "Fnncy Inrtin when I told
'lm of pitchin the baby to the sharks.”
•' money to bush It up.”
“'E’s nil right, Bill,” said the cook
"Well, what did you want him for?”
softly. "Walt till you’ve got seven of
grumbled the mate.
“I'm goln to knock thq nuusynsu out 'em.”
Smoked Skipper
"What are you doing here, boy?" de
tnanded the skipper ns Ralph, fiudlng
the senman's yarns soiqewhat lacking
iu interest, strolled aft with his hands
In his pockets.
"Nothing." said the boy, staring
"Keep the other end o’ the ship." said
I the skipper sharply, "an go au ’elp the
I cook with tlie Inters.”
Ralph hesitated, but a grin on the
mate's face decided him.
“I didn't come here to peel potatoes,”
he said loftily.
"Oh, Indeed,” said the skipper polite­
ly. “An wot might you 'ave come for.
If it ain't being too inquisitive?”
“To fight the enemy.” said Ralph
shortly.
“Come ’ere.” said the skipper.
The boy came slowly toward him.
“Now. look ’ere.” said the skipper.
“I’m going to try and knock a little
sense Into that stupid 'ed o' yours. I've
’card all about your silly little games
ashore. Your father said he couldn’t
manage you. so I'm a goiu to have a
“I.oak at that, Jem!”
try, au you'll find I’m a very different
sort o' man to deal with to wot e is.
The Idea o' thinking this ship was a pi­
rate. Why. n boy your age ought to
know there ain't such tilings n<wa
days.”
“You told me you was,” said the boy
hotly, “else I wouldn't have come."
“That's Just why I told you,” said
the skipper. “But 1 didu't think you'd
be such a fool as to believe It. Pirates
indeed! Do we look like pirates?”
“You don't." said the boy, with a
sneer. "You look more like”—
“Like wot?” asked the skipper, edg­
ing closer to him. “Eh. like wot?”
"1 forget the word,” said Ralph, with
strong good sense.
"Dou’t tell any lies now,” said the
skipper, flushing as he heard^a chuckle
from the mate. “Go on. Out with it.
I’ll give you Just two minutes.”
“1 forget it,” persisted Ralph.
"Dustmdn?” suggested the mate,
coming to his assistance.
“Coster,
chlmbley sweep, mudlark, pickpocket,
convict, washer worn”—
“if you'll look after your duty,
George, Instead o’ Interferin In matters
that don't concern you,” salt) the skip­
per in a choking voice, “1 shall be
obliged.
Now, then, you boy, what
were you going to say—I was like?”
"Like the mate,” said Ralph slowly.
“Don’t tell Iles,” said the skipper fu­
riously.
“You couldn't have forgot
that word.”
"I didn’t forget It,” snld Rnlph, "but
I didn’t know how you'd like it.”
The skipper looked nt him dubiously
and, pushing Ids cap from his brow,
scratched bls head.
“Ami I didn't know how the mate ’ud
like It either,” continued the boy.
He relieved the skipper from nn awk­
ward dilemma by walking off to the
galley and stnrtlng on a bowl of pota­
toes.
__
___
ObeytnK Orders.
General Harney was an officer of the
old school, a strict disciplinarian who
took no excuses for hesitation in obey­
ing orders. When he was on his way
to Mexico, when the United States was
at war with that country, he engaged
teams to transport the baggage and
placed in charge of them a Texan
named Carter. The streams were all
up. and Carter bad much trouble, but
whenever he tried to modify the gener­
al’s requirements he was cut short
with the admonition, "All you've got to
do is to obey orders.”
Says Noah Smithwick in his recollec­
tions called “The Evolution of a
State:’’
They camped one night near the Nue­
ces river, which Carter found to be Im­
passable. He said nothing about it to
the general, «ml the next morning the
order was given to move on. Carter
started with tlie wagon train and halt­
ed nt the river, which was absolutely
Impassable. Harney came blustering
up.
“Didn't you know that river wns
up?” lie demanded.
“Yes, sir.” meekly replied the wagon
master.
“Why didn't you tell me?”
“You didn't ask me, sir. You said my
business wns to obey orders. You or­
dered me to bitch up nnd move on, nnd
I did It.”
"You did quite right, sir. Turn round
and drive back to camp.”
If tilt1 general had been “done," he
was not going to show it.
A Lennon to llnmorlnta.
One cannot safely assume In these
days that there is any region In which
such and such a Journal Is not read.
Recently n certain humorist needed a
rest and went nnd stopped in a cottage
In a remote village by the sea. Ills
sitting room opened on the kitchen,
where bis landlady, a woman widely
esteemed as n person of great acumen
nnd a maker of phrases, wns wont to
receive the neighbors. He listened and
put Isitli landlady and neighbors into
some amusing sketches which were
promptly published In n London maga­
zine. A month or two went by. Then
one nfternoon he came back to the cot
tnge to meet nnd cower before nn In­
dignant matron, who told ultn. among
other things, that lie had one hour in
which to pack his trnps nnd quit the
village. She wns not going to have an
eavesdropper in her house, and she
added a significant hint to the effect
Hint the people of the village were of
the same opinion nnd might be betray­
ed Into an attempt- to give a forcible
demonstration of their views.—London
Post.
FEASTED ON SPARROWS.
MY MORTALITY.
A Die« Thai Old l.l Aaree AV III« «he
Craae.
*TI. writ. "MnrtaL ihy Ilf. ii but a span.”
And yet 1 feel ihai air and earth and thy
Are ever mine, even forevermore
Thai I and mine can never, never di».
And yet 1 know, how well, how well I know.
That in the future »omewberr hidden liee
A da,', «he day uf da}a, which hat for me
A moment supreme, when I «hail < low? my eyes
To open them on this my world no more.
When friends will fold my hands upon my breast
And sadly «u\ : “Dear soul, her work it done.
Let us now lay her gently to her rest.’’
Springtime with bud and bloom will come and
Ko;
Tlie busy work! will still rush madly on;
The earth and air and sky will be for thote
Who will not know that I have come and gone.
—Dr. Grace Peckham Murray in Harper*« Bazar.
GUNS FOR OLD GLORY.
The
l-'lrst l'„relMn Salute i.heu
tlie American I-'laa.
to
The little Ranger ran slowly between
the frowning French frigates, looking
us wnrlike as they. Her men swarmed
like bees Into the rigging, and her col­
or» ran up to salute the flag of bls most
Christ inn majesty of France, and she
tired one by one her salute of 13 guns,
says Sarah Orne Jewett in The Atlan­
tic.
There was a moment of suspense.
Tlie wind was very light now. The
powder smoke drifted away, nnd the
flapping sads sounded loud overhead.
Would the admiral answer hack or
would he treat this bold challenge like
a handkerchief waved nt him from a
pleasure boat? Some of the officers on
the Ranger looked incredulous, but
Paul Jones still held his letter tn ids
hand.
There wns a puff of white
smoke, nnd the great guns of the
French flagship began to shake the air
-one, two, three, four, five, six. seven,
eight, nine and then were still save
for lheir echoes from the low hills
about Carnae nnd the great Druid
Mount of St. Michael
"Henry Gardner, you may tel) the
men that this was the salute of the
king of France to our republic and the
first high lionoi to our ting.” snld the
captain proudly to his steersman, but
they were nil huzzaing now nlong the
Ranger’s decks, that little ship whose
mime shall never be forgotten while
her country Ilves.
The euptnm lifted Ills hat nnd stood
looking up at the flag.
"We hardly know wliat this day
menus. gentlemen." lie said soberly to
his officers, who entile about him. “I
believe we are nt the christening of the
greatest nation that was ever born Into
tin- world. The day shall come when
America, republic though she may be,
will salute no foreign ting without re­
ceivinggun for gnu!”
VV «-.ley n Hook Lover.
Wesley wns to the end of Ills life n
lover of a good book. Though tlie Bible
wns Ills chief study, he would have
agreed with Matthew Arnold that a
man who did not know other books
could not know that book ns it should
be known. He constantly urged his
prencliers to rend. "You can never be
a deep preacher without reading,” he
used to say. “any more than a thor­
ough < ’lirislian.” To n young man who
said that his work ns an evangelist left
him no time for rending lie wrote:
"Hence your talent in preaching does
not increase. It is Just the same ns It
was seven years ago. It is lively, but
not deep. There Is little variety. There
Is no compass of thought.” WhatAvould
not some of us give for that volume of
Sliakespenre. annotated throughout by
Ills hand, wliieff John Pawson destroy­
ed after his death for fear of scandaliz­
ing tlie weaker brethren?—Temple Bar.
Rare nntl Cnrloui Gemn.
The rarest and costliest of gems,
though not always esteemed the most
beautiful, are pigeon’s blood rubles,
fine opals and diamonds that are pure
but shed n distinct glow of blue or
pink. A very perfect pear! of generous
size and lustrous skin, tinted a rarely
beautiful golden green, was valued un­
set at over £300.
A faultless green
pearl Is very rare.
A curious stone Is tlie alexandrite.
It is a dark green stone that is polish­
ed. ent and set. very like a fine topaz
or amethyst, in large showy rings sur­
rounded by diamonds. By tlie light of
day tlie alexandrite has no special
beauty save Its fine luster, but directly
a sliafl of artificial light strikes tlie
dull stone deep gleams of red flash out
of the green, ami under the gas or In
the firelight one Ignorant of this va­
gary would Instantly pronounce It a
ruby.
A Mechanical Answer,
The well to do patron of tlie place
had been attentive to the cashier for
some time, and now, business being
slack for a few moments, he deemed
the time propitious to speak.
"If you will be mine," lie urged us he
leaned over the desk, "every comfort
that you may desire will l>e yours.
True, I am no longer young, but I have
money, and I can provide for you as
few young men could, and surely the
material side of the marriage question
Is worthy of some consideration."
She said nothing, but gently touched
the cash register, and the words "No
Sale" sprang Into view.
With a sigh he left.—Chicago Post.
One Man*« Windom.
New Clerk—That young lady In front
wants to look at some rings exactly
like she lias on. Says she Is thinking
of purchasing a duplicate for her sister.
Old Jeweler—Hull! You needn’t waste
any time on her. The ring she has Is
nn engagement ring, and she merely
wants to find out wliat it cost.—Chi­
cago News.
The dnrnbonka, or Turkish drum, re­
sembles a long vase, the bottom cov­
ered with parchment.
The earliest mention of shoes Is In
un Egyptian papyrus uliout 2,200 years
before Christ.
CnilK- nt Thouxht.
“You look thoughtful tonight. Smith,"
remarked Brown as he stretched him­
self on two chairs.
“Yea,” said Smith. "1 have Just got
a note from the landlady."
"What does she say?”
"She says that I must pay my board
at once, or her daughter will sue me fot
breach of promise. I'm thinking what
I'd better do " I it Bits.
Tlie highest viaduct in the world has
Just been built across a gorge In the
Shan hills, In tipper Burma. It used up
5.000 tons of steel and cost «700,000.
Capital Wanted
"Some Him- ago I bail occasion to olc
serve an iuterestlug change in the bab
Its am) temperament of a cram- which
had been picked up in tlie swamps ot
I'o extend certain Departments, purchase Fall Stock, ami develop
Arkansas." said a gentleman from one
to fullest extent oik - of the oldcwt ««nd Inegest Mnil O«*dcr
H ousch on the CuHHt, .»<> it can supply every demand equal to
of Ila- towns on tlie Mississippi river,
Eastern Department Stores.
BBE
"and the change was startling too. The
We offer, for the first time, an inter«st in tlie business, through aiw
crane was placed In a small park which
the purchase of shares of preferred stock, and which are guaranteed
was literally filled with English spar­
by tiie largest owner in the store lo pay It) per cent per annum.
rows. Tiies«" pests did not like tlie vis­
It is a giMsi investment. Holders obtain 1(1 per cent co-operative
itor from the lowlands, and they minie
rebate on goods purchased, Is-sid,-. monthly dividend. Oller good
dally assaults on the pour bird
Tlie
for a limited time only. No sjieeulation simply an inv«*stment Ina j&jt
cram* was a pretty fowl. long, slender,
legitimate and increasing business conducted on a strictly cash basis gSs
pure wliite and with the Btately stride
ami careful methods. Write or call for particulars.
S«
of n tragedian. Tlie sparrows would sys­
S\'
Smiths
’
Cash
Store
(Incorporate«!).
tematically swoop down on the crane
Owned and op«-rate«i by B ai « i ax J. and H. A. S mith , th«* -i'£i
in droves, and tlie attacks were tierce
original founders of tlie store in 1879.
and vicious
Tlie crane stood Hie assaults with In
difference for awhile, but finally the I «V.
fowl from tlie swamps figured out a
method of retnllatlou. nnd It was effec
It Itiiinrd Copper.
I uipor «er» and Dealers In
tun I. In some way the crane learned
The cadets of Annapolis sat In the
Book, News,
that sparrow was a pretty sweet mor
side aisles of (he chapel, leaving the
Writing and
sei
From the time she learned It she
Wrapping...
center aisles for tin* officers anil their
feasted on sparrows
She would slip
CARD STOCK
families, says Dr. Cyrus Townsend
up cautiously on these pesky twitterers
STRAW AND HINDERS' BOARD
Brady In “Under Tops’ls and Tents.”
und til row her yellow la-ak out like a
»B-a7-TW-«« . First St,
When the offering wns received, the
gig. Sli«* never missed tlie mark. Sin
Tai. MAIN 1S0. 30 SAN FRANCISCO.
two boys cliaiged with (lie duty of
always landed a sparrow, and a singu­
passing tin* plates did not make the
lar part of tlie thing Is that she would
slightest effort lo circulate them among
swallow them whole, feathers ami all
the cadets, for we never had anj mon­
But tlie crane would always dampen
ey. They would walk rapidly down the
I HL vUJ I Lil orNlngh-.uHow
the bird by dipping It in one of the wa
aisle and then i-otne deliberately up the
ratON. Country
ter bnslns of the park.
putronage
solicited, and no pains will be spared
"The diet evidently did not agree middle, gathering tlieuec wliat they to make them comfortable during their visit.
with tin* crime, and she became u trifle could, thie Nundny the chaplain an
906 Mtirkct St., Sun Francisco«
Telephone Bed JIM MRH BANFT, Prop.
droopy and showed signs of Indisposi­ nounced that he would preach a'lnis
slonary
sermon
the
next
Sunday.
It
tion. She Anally died, aud the keeper
did
not
have
the
ordinary
effect
iu
SAM MARTIN
CHAS CAMM
of the park believes that the cranes
For 3 yours with
For 23 years with
death was caused by a severe case of empty lug the church, for we were C, E. Whitney & Co.
C. E. Whitney & Co.
Indigestion brought on by eating spar­ obliged to go as usual.
I tiring the week it occurred to the
rows."—New Orleans Times Democrat.
NEW COMMISSION HOUSE
bright mind of a senior, or first class
man.
who
is
now
a
prominent
New
Drnwlna «be Line.
A good story is told In Missouri at York financier, that It would be well
for the cadets to make an offering. So
the expense of its once famous govern
or, Cliiiboriu* F. Jackson. Before he he sent out to the bank on Saturday
121-1
Davin st., Sail Franclnoo.
solved the enigma of lovelock he had morning and succeeded In smuggling in
General Commission and
married five sisters In reasonable over 300 copper cents, which he dis­
Produce.
lapses of consecutiveness. After one tributed 1 cent per boy to the Epis­
wife had been lost and appropriately copal battalion. We stationed a strong,
Specialty, Butter, Eggs and Cheese.
long
armed
man
on
the
outside
seat
of
mourned he espoused another, and lie
Yi ar consignments solicited.
kept his courting within a narrow cir­ the first pew In eaeli aisle.
The
chaplain
made
a
piteous
appeal
cle of his own relatives, for lie rather
for pennies even, and when the aston
liked the family.
The antiquated father of these girls tailed cadets wlio passed the plates
•'as almost deaf, and when the gov­ started on their perfunctory promenade
ernor went to this octogenarian to ask the strong, one armed men aforesaid
for Ills surviving daughter the follow- promptly relieved them of the metal
plates, and each one dropped In one
ing conversation ensued:
copper cent with an ominous crash
"1 want Lizzie.”
nnd then deliberately handed the plate
"Eli?”
"1 want yon to let me have Eliza- to the next boy, who did the same
All the world knows that coffee in
thing. It rained copper cents for about
excessive use is injurious. And yet
both.”
ten
minutes.
Tlie
chaplain
wns
dread
the coffee lover cannot stand taste
"Oil. you want Lizzie, do you? What
fully disconcerted, the officers fidgeted
less cereals. There has to this time
for?”
and looked aghast.
Some of them
lieen no happy medium lietweeli
"For my wife.”
<
‘ufó Bland tills the void with tlie
laughed, and the cadets preserved II
“For life.”
best elements of Isitli. It is richer
a
deadly
solemnity.
The
affair
was
"1 want to marry—her.”
than straight cotlee, and many will
striking success.
"Oh. yes. .Inst so. I bear j
not be easily convinced that it is
"I’m previous glad you do,”
not nil cotice. But we guarantee
A flsi-oo ns Valet to » Crow.
tile governor.
that Cafó Bland contains less than
“
Torn
was
the
mime
given
to
a
lordly
fifty percent coffee, which is scien­
“Well,” slowly responded the vet-
tifically blended with nutritious
ernn, “you needn’t halloo so that the young crow," says Florence M. Kings
fruits
and grains, thus not only
Yes. ley in The Ladles' Home Journal
whole neighborhood knows It.
displacing over fifty tier cent of the
yon can have her. You’ve got ’em all "Beauty wns a snow white pigeon of
catfein, but neutralizing that which
now, my lad. but for goodness' sake, If about the crow’s age, with whom lie
remains and still retaining tlie rich
was
reared.
Just
how
It
came
about
anything happens to that 'ere poor mis­
coffee flavor. To those who suffer
we
never
knew,
but
we
soon
discovered
guided gal. don't come and ask me for
with the heart, to dysiiepties and
that Beauty regularly acted as maid of
tbe old woman!"
to nervous p«*ople Cafe Bland is
estiecinlly recommended as a health­
Jackson solemnly promised that he till work to Toni. She fetched and car­
ried morsels of food at his Imperious
ful and delicious beverage, so satis­
never would.
fying that only the member of the
command, and one of her unvarying
family making the change
chatigi in the
duties wns the preening of her mas­
Origin of “Whlif.**
colfee knows there has been one.
Several reasons have been assigned ter’s feathers. Tom was very much of
More healthful, richer and less ex-
to account for the word “Whig,” uni a dandy. Ills coal black plumage al­
itensivetlian straight coffee. Better
ways
appeared
perfectly
dressed
and
versally known to all the English
in every respect. 25 cents |ier !b.
speaking people. By some the word is shining, but the arduous labor of his
Your griH-er will get it for you.
Ask for
supposed to be a contraction of a loti toilet was performed for him twice
ger one, "whlggnmore," which in some every day tty' the humble and affection­
parts of England and Scotland, espe ate pigeon.
"Our line gentleman would come In
dally Scotland, signifies n drover or
from a roll In tlie dust or a dip in the
herder.
It was ill 11179 that the word first fountain nnd, seating himself upon a
became common Iu the British isles, certnln railing, utter a short, sharp call.
when the struggle was in progress be­ Instnntly Beauty would descend to Ills
tween the peasantry and the nristoc side and begin her task, fluttering anx­
rney lo have or not to have the bill iously from side to side ns she worked,
passed by parliament to exclude the drawing each shining black feather
Duke of York from the line of succes­ carefully out to Its full length In her
Pronounc'd oat fay—accent on last syllable
sion. All who were opposed to placing pink bill, Tom mean while dozing llixu
the duke in tlie line of succession were rlously. with closed eyes, after the
derisively called “whiggamores." or manner of the complacent patron of a
Mr. Hare*. Fountain of Youth.
"drovers.” just as the city dude of to­ skillful barber. If Beauty unfortunate
Mr. John Hare, the eminent English
ly
prilled
a
feather
too
lull'd,
n
squawk
day speakers of the "grangers," the
actor-manager, said that the most de­
"grays." the "chin whiskers" anti the and a sudden peck Informed her of her lightful compliment lie ever received
mistake.”
"hayseeders."
was from Mr. Gladstone.
It was a
But Scotch tradition gives altogether
double ended eomplimeut. Whichever
Ills SprlllnK System.
a different reason for the existence of
Dobbs met Ills friend Turner In the way you took It it was satisfactory.
the word. It Is this: During the early
Mr. Hare earned fame playing old
tram.
They were both going to Bir­
religious wars In Scotland the weakest
mingham nnd stopped at the same ho­ men’s parts, his character as Mr. Gold-
of the factions used the words “We
by In "A Pair of Spectacles" being a
Hope In God" as a motto. The initials tel. Turner registered his name “E. K. good example. Added to this was a
Phtholognyrrli.
”
of these words were placed on their
Dobbs, noticing It. exclaimed, “Here, horror of having bis picture taken.
banners thus. "W. II. I. G..” and soon
Mr. Gladstone had never seen a pic­
what are yon using such a foreign, out­
all the followers of that clan were giv­
ture of the actor, but he knew him well
landish
name
for?
”
en the title of "Whig." which was aft­
“I am not assuming *iny foreign behind the scenes ns well as before the
erward attached as a party ulckname.
footlights. The premier’s favorite play
name,” replied Turner.
was "A Pair of Spectacles,” and lie al­
"What kind of a name is It, then?”
Journalistl<- Errors.
“That Is my Identical old name, and ways went behind the scenes to chat
I do not allude to what are obviously
It Is English too—pronounced ‘Tur­ awhile with the actor. The really old
mere misprints, such ns when The
man and the made up old man would
ner.
’ ”
Morning Post announced nt the bead of
sit there and talk in the most delight­
"I
can
’
t
see
how
you
make
‘
Turner
’
Its fashionable Intelligence that Lord
what Is ful way for nn hour after the show.
Palmerston had gone down Into Hamp out of those 13 letters; besides,
tine day the Earl of Rosebery had
way?"
your
object
In
spelling
that
shire with n party of fiends to shoot
Mr. Gladstone to dinner, and be also
asked
Dobbs.
peasants, but I refer to blunders due to
"Well, you see, nobody ever noticed Invited his friend, John Hare. The
crass Ignorance of n pretentious older
I wrote nctor came In smooth shaved, looking
Perhaps the best Instance was when my name on the register when
about 35. lie was presented to Mr.
one of tin- "young lions" of The Daily It ‘Turner,’” the latter explained, “but Gladstone, anil the prime minister
since
I
commenced
writing
It
‘
I
’
btholo
Telegraph In a lending article enumer
shook Ids hand most cordially and said:
nted the great masters of Greek sculp gynrrb’ 1 set them all guessing. It Is,
"My dear sir, I am very, very glad to
ns
I
said
before,
English
spelling.
ture as Phldins, Praxiteles and Milo.
meet you. 1 know your father very,
Ignorant of tlie fact that Milo is not n Tilth’ Is the sound of ‘t’ In ’phthisis,’ very well. Splendid nctor! Fine old
’olo’ Is the sound of ‘nr’ In ‘colonel,’
sculptor, but an Island.
man I”
The Times was even worse when, •gn‘ there Is the ‘n’ In ‘gnat.’ ‘yrrh’ Is
It took the whole evening for the earl
the
sound
of
‘
er
’
in
‘
myrrh.
’
Now,
If
mistaking Prussia for Austria. It de
thnt’doesn’t spell ‘Turner’ what does It nnd Mr. Ilare to convince him that this
voted a whole leader to discussing why
son wiis really tlie father.—Saturday
spell?"—London Standard.
Prussia hnd Joined the zollverein. The
Evening Post.
Saturday Review once explained nt
Opt
imlum.
great length that the population might
A Mined Weddlna Party.
When the optimist was dispossessed
be nourished gratuitously on young
"The college roommate of a friend of
lambs If killed unweaned before they and thrown, along with his household
mine was engaged to a lady In New
hnd begun to crop grass, having there Impedimenta, Into the cold street, he
York.” writes the Rev. D. M. Steele In
chuckled
furiously.
fore cost nothing to feed. Many otliet
"Why do you laugh, my friend?” In­ Ills article on “Some People I Have
Instances will doubtless occur to your
Married” In The Ladles' Home Jour­
quired a passerby.
readers. —Notes mid Queries.
"Because I have Just now liven nal. "His people are Congregatlonal-
emancipated from toll,” replied the op­ Ists. but while at Yale he became a
Sn«r«l (lie ■><»».
Her parents are Roman
timist. "For years :ny life has been Unitarian.
Some time ago there was a
one long struggle to keep the wolf from Catholics, but she was a member of the
wreck at St. Margaret's hay England
the door. But now that I have been Ethical Culture society at Carnegie
and the life line brought sailor artet
deprived
of the door I no longer am hall. In compliance with her mother’s
sailor to shore amid the clivers ot th«
compelled to toll. Sweet, Indeed, are wish he asked live different priests to
rescuers. At last only the captain re
marry them, but all refused. In despair
the uses of adversity!”
tnalned on Itoard. The line wns ready
lie came for me. 1 married them, an
Then the optimist walked off, wills
the signal wns given, but the answer
tllng gayly. Into the sunshine.—New Episcopalian, with the ritual service In
Ing Jerk did not come.
Again mid
a Presbyterian chapel. The Roman
again for a quarter of an hour the York Sun.
Catholic brother of the bride and the
question passed along the rope without
A novel method of boring holes In a Congregational sister of the groom
reply. At Inst, when hope was nearly flat bar of Iron wns recently adopted were present. This sister acted as one
dead, the signal came, nnd the captain on a ship where a breakdown occurred. witness; the other witness was a Jew­
was hauled dripping ashore He pick To repair the breakage It was neces­ ess.”
ed himself up. drew a small, wet. qtilv sary to make bolt holes In a square
erlng dog from Ills breast pocket nnd bar. and. ns the engineer was without
Never give up to children If they are
set It tenderly down. Then he looked the appliances require«! for the pur­ In the wrong. Do not rob them of a
round and said In simple apology. "1 pose. he marked the exact places in memory that tlielr mother and father
couldn't And the little brute any elm Ik mill then fired a .30 caliber bullet were always true to their principles.—
where I”
through each from a rifle.
Ladies' Home Journal.
1$
BLAKE,
MOFFITT ¡
& TOWNE
Tlir PIIC1TD
Most
Healthful Coffee
In the World.
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