Bandon recorder., July 04, 1901, Image 3

The Adventure of
the Vacant House.
By EARL ASHLEY WALCOTT.
(Copyright, I Joo, by tai A. Walcott. ]
As lie lay straining bls ears at tlie
door It came to bls mind that thia was
a case for the shrewd Wong Chee, cud
he started to rise and go and seek hint.
Then he sank back, tor he feared what
might happen while he should be away
and that Wong Chee might come too
late. Whatever was to be done must bo
doue by him alone. The heartslekeuing
fear that followed this thought seemed
to give him strength that was uot from
himself. lie rose, laid off the Chluese
shoes that he wore, listened Intently
again, uud then put his baud cautious­
ly on the doorknob. No sound had come
from the house while be had lalu there,
and he felt assured that the three
brothers were elsewhere than in the
hull. It was Ids fear that the door was
locked, but tq Ills surprise and relief It
yielded as lie turued the knob, and no
sound followed as Inch by inch he
opeueil It. lie drew his knife from bls
blouse aud ilsteued again; then he slip­
ped through the narrow opening aud
closed the door without sound.
The darkness of the street was as the
light of day to the darkness of the hall
when the door was closed, yet It gave
him courage, for if he could not see
neither could lie be seen, unless the
brothers had the gift of the devils to
see in the dark. He stood for a minute.
Then a murmuring sound that came
from overhead confirmed him In the
opinion that the three brothers and
their victim were up the stair. A cre­
puscular glow, the very ghost of light,
came to his eyes from above, ami lie
divined that there lay the ascent.
Ills fears asked him If one of the
brothers did uot lie between him and
the source of that light But. reason
Ing that the grip of death wpuld by
then have been nt Ids heart If one of
the brothers had been on the watch, lie
staked ills life on the desperate trust
that the crime for which they had come
had taken the attention of the three
and that none was left on guard.
So he moved forward step by step
and almost Inch by inch, tlie fingers of
tlie left hand touching the wall as Ills
guide, hls# right hand gripplug the
knife, and eye and ear strained to catch
the faintest Idnt Hint his presence was
suspected. Tims noiselessly be came to
the head of tlie stair and saw that a
middle room was alight and that no
one stood outside. The door was but
an inch or two ajar, and Ah Kim crept
to it with noiseless progress, though
the murmur of voices, of which he
could catch a word now and then,
would have covered Ills steps had he
proceeded boldly.
When lie looked within the room, he
shook with astonishment ns well as ter­
ror, for not only did lie see tlie white
doctor with arms and feet bound stand
between the tall brother and the stout
brother, but on the floor, tied with
ropes and bleeding from the head, lay a
Chinese, and the face of that Chluese
was the face of the shrewd Wong Chee.
Between wonder that so wise a man
should have been taken by the broth­
ers, fear lest Ills friend wns dead and
the lack of a plan by Which to rescue
the two from the hands of the dreadful
three, It was not until Wong Chee stir­
red and groaned that tlie words that
Were spoken came to his understand­
ing. Then iie observed that the small
brother w itli the lame leg stood before
the doctor, grinned evilly and spoke In
English, while the stout brother with
the hatchet and tlie tall brother with a
running noose held to the captive made
silent threats of death.
“You will lie lianged,” he heard the
doctor say.
“If they catch us,” said the small
brother, showing ids teeth.
“That Is easy,” said the doctor. “The
police have only to find out the man
who rented this house, and they will
lay hands on you at once.”
“The house not rented,” returned the
small brother, witli Ids evil grin more
pronounced than before.
"Why, how are you here, then?” ask­
ed the doctor.
“One 'man he go one time, he get
key,” (ild the smnll brother with a sl-
lentjau i that-was terrible to see. "We
make key all snme this key. Then Home
man he take key back. He not like
house. That long time ago. We have
key. We come here In dark tonight. No
man see us come. No man see us go.
You not do all same we tell you, we
Ah Kim burl'd hit knife tn the throat ot
the stout brother.
leave you heab." And the small broth­
er pointed to the floor and made sug­
gestive gestures as though the body of
the doctor lay there dead.
“But the police will find me, and they
will know that It Is murder,” argued
the doctor.
“Police no catch us,” replied the
small brother, with pride and scorn
mingled In his voice. "Some day catch
you this place, cntch Wong Chee that
place,” ¡minting to the floor. “All same
say, 'Chinaman fight; white man fight;
both get kill.’ ”
"That will not be the end of It,” said
the doctor In a tone of meunce and
warning. "I was In Los Angeles when
your highbinders killed two of the
white police. Then the wldte men
came with guns and knives nnd fire,
and they shot and stabbed nnd Imaged
every Chinnuian they could find, and
they burned their Chinatown off the
face of the earth. Many were killed,
and many hundreds were hurt, and all
iau for their lives. Ho you remember
that?"
Now. at these words the face of the
small brother 1« t something of its look
of diabolic pleasure, for even the three
brothers must tremble at the name of
that awful night In the southern city,
where the tall brother had got Ids scar,
and the small brother had acquired his
limp, and the three had barely escaped
with their lives.
“We not want to kill you,” said the
small brother, with a smile that was
meant to be conciliatory, but succeeded
only in being ghastly. "You do all
same we say. you go home all lite.”
Now. the doctor knew that his fate
ns sealed, for the three brothers had
let him kuow too much and must kill
him for their own safety. He saw
that they but played with him to make
their pleasure, yet he bore himself as
though the brothers but jested with
him.
"What would you have?" asked the
doctor.
“I tell<ou before, the heart of Wong
Chee,” answered tl.e small brother.
"I cannot take It. The man Is still
alive."
"ne all same dead,” replied the small
brother. “White devil doctor man be
like cut up dead man. Why he not like
cut up live man?”
“Why do you want me to cut up n
live man?” asked tlie doctor.
"We like see. Some time maybe we
like do.”
“I cannot kill him. He has done no
harm."
“Oh, you tlink him good man?” ex­
claimed the small brother, contemptu­
ously. “You tlink him all lite? He all
snme come tonight to say we get one
tlousanil dolin’ kill Wing Lee. You
tlink him good man. eh? He no sabby
one tong say we get two tlousanil fl’
hudn’ dolin’ all snme kill Idin.” And
nt tills humorous situation the smnll
brother went off Into diabolic laughter.
“Then did ‘one tong’ tell you to kill
me?” asked the doctor. “I do not know
the tongs and never harmed them.”
The small brother’s face took on a
look of preternatural cunning, and he
appeared to consider what excuse to
give.
“Never one time kill white devil?” he
said nt Inst. And his eyes snapped ea­
gerly, as though this lind hem the long
desire of his life; and the bodies of the
tall brother and the stout brother bent
toward the doctor as though they were
eager to have his blood. “We kill white
devil doctor now if he not do what we
say. Give us the heart of Wong Chee."
“I cannot take It with bound hands,”
.he doctor said.
'Die three brothers consulted In Chi­
nese, for they were unwilling to loose
the hands of the doctor. It was true
that be could not cut the heart from
Wong Chee If his hands were tied, yet
if his hands were free and the sur­
geon’s knife was put in them, they bad
to fear the rashness of despair. Then
the small brother advised that the doc­
tor be made to kneel before Ids hands
were loosed. And thereupon All l^lm
saw him forced to his knees by the
body of Wong Chee, and the tall broth­
er flung the noose about the neck of
tlie kneeling man, and the stout broth­
er lifted tlie hatchet, while the small
brother slipped the cords that bound
his arms.
Now Ab Kim breathed bard and
gripped his knife fast, for he feared
that the life of tlie shrewd Wong Chee
was lost. He had a wild wish to cry
out to the doctor that there was a
friend at baud and that he should make
an effort for life and freedom. Yet he
knew that to cry out was folly and
would be death to him along with the
shrewd Wong Clice and the good doc­
tor. aud he bad to use nil his strength
to keep Ills teeth from chattering.
“What wns that?" suddenly asked
the small brother, pricking up ills ears.
"I hear nothing.” said the stout
brother.
“A step on the stair, 1 thought,” said
the smnll brother.
“1 locked the door," said the tall
brother, with an evil smile. “It Is
Wong Chee’s devil come for his soul.”
Now. at tills Ab Kim could scarce
keep himself from sinking, for it Is evil
Indeed to be between the three broth­
ers of tlie hatchet nnd the devils that
come for the dying. And the three
brothers themselves lost a little of their
confident air, for even the brothers,
who feared not the Joss, liked not to
think of the devils. But Ab Kim smiled
In the midst of his feurs at the mistake
Jf the tall brother in thinking that he
had locked the door.
“Well, let us make haste,” said the
smnll brother, "that the devils may fin­
ish tlielr work." And with a move be
shook the bonds from the doctor’s arms
aud put In the doctor's right band the
surgeon’s knife.
“Now cut,” lie said.
At this word the doctor flung his
arms about the small brother and
Jnsbed him to the floor and at the same
time made a mighty efTort to rise.
“Strike, brother,” cried the small
brother to the one with the hatchet.
The hatchet wns In the air, and the
doctor's brains would have scattered
over the floor, but that Ah Kim, nerved
by the danger of the men before him
nnd by the noIse of devils on the stairs
behind him, had flung open the door
and with one leap burled his knife In
the throat of the stout brother with
the hatchet.
Tlie stout brother flung up Ills arms
with a scream, his blood spurted over
the bald bead of the doctor, his hatchet
fell to the floor, nnd bls knees giving
way be fell heavily against tlie tall
brother, and they weut down together.
The noose tightened In the hands of the
tall brother, the doctor was brought
over with a Jerk, and assassins and vic­
tims lay In a heap. Ab Iilm alone
standing, with bloody knife and shak­
ing knees, crying out In the extremity
of terror, for the brothers struggled
before him. nnd the noise of devils
was behind him. nnd he stood still for
want of way to fly.
Then the devils burst Into tlie room,
seized upon Ah Klin with an oath,
nnd in tlie maze of confused Impres­
sions be thought be Haw them strike
the small brother and the tall brother
with clubs till they lay still, bring the
doctor to his feet nnd wipe the blood
from his bend, nnd bls ears told him
that they all talked at once. And at
last he saw that the devils were not of
the nlr, but of the white devils’ police,
nnd he learned that be and the tall
brother nnd the small brother were un­
der arrest and that the stout brother
had gone whore the Joss and the devils
deal with his kind. And dimly came to
Ills mind tlie words of one of the po
11 Cornell;
“1 was that unr'sy about you that I
get tie i* men and came back, for I
found that tlie house was vacant up to
sundowu. We wns afraid of mischief
afoot, and liedad we've found It.”
Then the terror stricken Ah Kim.
when he found that be was arrested as
one of the three brothers, fell upon the
floor and bowled and called out his
name to the doctor. Aud the doctor,
having now recovered bls shaken wits,
knew Ah Kim.
“See here, officer,” he said. “You’ve
made a mistake. This fellow Is my
cook, and if It hadn’t been for him I'm
afraid you would have been a minute
late."
And tlie doctor explained ns much as
he knew of tlie affair in which he had
played so great a part, and Ah Kim
pieced out the tale of the three broth­
ers with a «ad disarray of the English
language. So All Kim wns released on
the doctor's promise to bring him be­
fore the court, and Wong Chee was
brought to consciousness, and the sur­
viving brothers were taken to the pris­
on and loaded with many crimes on tlie
book of the police. And the policemen
praised the courage of Ah Kim. and
marveled at It ns the strangest thing
they had known.
"Oh,” snld Ah Kim nonchalantly, as
In explanation, "Wong Chee, he my
flen’, docto,’ he heap good man. No
wan’ 'em kill.”
“I think,” said Wong Cliee, as i he
nursed Ills broken bend, “tbnt It was
’
Just ns well that you did not stop In
the house of the Joss to prny. You are
not so much of a fool ns you look.”
And Ah Kim took this for much
pinta*. for he had ever known him ns
the shrewd Wong Cbee.
Beating; nn Avalanche.
One of tbe most exciting Alpine ad­
ventures on record was Mr. Trickett's
race with an avalanche on tlio Eiger
glacier In 1871. He was ascending tbe
glacier with two friends and a guide.
Says Travel:
The glacier sloped somewhat steeply,
and on tlie upper part, above the climb­
ers, a mass of loose, freshly fallen
snow had collected. Suddenly the trav­
elers heard a thundering noise nnd
perceived a huge mass of snow and Ice
Sliding doSvii toward them.
They
could only try to reach the rocks at the
side of the glacier, hoping to do so
before the avalanche should sweep
them away. Through tbe knee deep
snow they ran for tlielr fives.
“I remember,” Raid Mr. Tuckett, "be­
ing struck with the Idea that It seemed
ns If the avalanche were sure of its
prey and wished to [day with us for
awhile. At one moment it let us imag­
ine tliat we had gained on It, and the
next, witli mere wantonness ot vindic­
tive power, it suddenly rolled out a
vast volume of grinding blocks and
whirling snow, as If to show us that It
could outflank us any moment it chose.
“Nearer and nearer It came. Its front
a mighty wave about to break. It aim-
ed straight at us, swift, deadly, Im­
placable. The next instant we saw no
more. A wild contusion of whirling
snow aud fragments of lee, a frozen
cloud, swept over us, entirely conceal­
ing us from one another. But still we
were untouched, and still we ran.
“Another half second, and the mist
parted. There lay the body of the mon-
Rter. whose head was still careering
away at lightning speed far below us,
motionless, rigid, harmless.”
Rather Outipoken.
“When u man In the west likes not
another.” said a British Columbia man,
"lie is in no way disposed to hide that
fact under a bushel basket or to con­
ceal It from either the gentleman dis­
liked In particular or the rest of tlie
community In general.
“1 remember an example of this trait
Hint came under my notice some years
ago lu Idaho. A certain old fellow
named Haas ran a paper there, and he
nnd Judge Buck, the Judge who ren­
dered tlie celebrated decision In the fa­
mous 'Poor Man’ Tiger litigation, were
sworn enemies.
Another old timer
named Cheney disliked Haas and Buck
and bad it in for them both.
"One night at Wallace a dinner was
given, at which Buck, Hans and Che­
ney were present, and at n late stage In
tlie proceedings Cheney was called up­
on for a speech. 1 don’t remember the
topic he chose or how he brought It In,
but w ben lie gut through Cheney left
in the minds of Ills hearers no manner
of doubt as to how lie felt toward tlie
other two.
" ‘Gentlemen,’ said Cheney as he
bung unsteadily to tbe end of tbe ta­
hie. for tbe wine had been passing
freely, 'old man Haas says Judge Buck
Is a perjurer nnd a blackmailer, and
Judge Buck says old mnn linns Is a
horse thief and a liar. As both the
gentlemen nre extremely well acquaint­
ed with each other and should know
whereof they speak. I do not feel call­
ed upon to dispute either statement.’
“And then he sat down amid tumul­
tuous applause.”—Now York Tribune.
Dolnic tlx* Glnxler a KlndncRR.
A traveling tinker out of work be­
moaned Ids hard luck to a sympathetic
glazier.
"1'11 soon put that right for you,”
said the glazier. “Just come up to
that big hotel over there In half an
hour's time, nnd you'll find work.”
Accordingly the tinker made hfs ap
pearance nt the appointed time and
found himself In great request, ns all
tbe good wife's pots aud pans had mys­
teriously sprung leaks.
Needless to say the glazier had slyly
operated on them to provide a job for
Ids acquaintance.
Having finished bls work, the tinker
trudged off. full of gratitude, and soon
arrived nt n wnyslde schoolhouse.
A happy thought striking him, he de­
termined to repay tlie glazier’s kind­
ness. nnd. arming himself with stones,
he speedily smashed every window In
the house.
Returning, he Intimated to Ills friend
the service he had rendered him, but
wns amazed to see the man of glass
become convulsed with rage.
“Great Scott, man.” shouted the lat­
ter. "you've ruined me! I repair the
windows of that school by yearly con­
tract!”— Txjudon Answers.
NAPOLEON'S WISDOM
THE GREAT GENERAL UNDERSTOOD
THE VALUE OF DISCUSSION.
It Doe« For the llraln What Exercise
Due« For the >1 uncle»—The Mighty
C'or»ican’» Idea« ou llellHlou aatl
the Flrat Great < au»e.
Man exercises Ids muscles to improve
them. He competes museularly with
his fellows, and rivalry of muscle ends
In muscular Improvement all uround.
What exercise does for the muscles
discussion does for the brain.
The importance of discussion Napo­
leon appreciated thoroughly.
. Aud when he discussed, he discussed
like a big man, selecting questions to
exhaust the udnd and lead fur away
Into fields of conjecture and widest
speculation.
His was no dreamer’s brain, giving
to speculation the time needed for do-
Ing. First came the real work of the
day or hour—the planning nnd finish­
ing of details, from the disposing of ar­
my corps to the smallest final arrange­
ments.
Then, free from actual work, seeking
relief from concentrated application,
bis brain sought rest In talk worth
while.
On his voyage to Egypt, determined
to waste no time, be organized serious
discussion as methodically as he ever
organized a fighting [dan.
The discussions were regularly ap­
pointed affairs.
Needless to say, Napoleon arranged
everything nnd controlled everything.
He selected the subject for discus­
sion, lie chose the three or four on each
side to support and oppose any given
proposition.
These were his favorite topics: First,
the art of war; second, the art of gov­
ernment; third, religion.
From his ¡mint of view Ills chief sub­
jects for discussion were admirably
chosen. They represented the only two
things be cared for here below aud the
Anal question affecting his fate here­
after.
But his field of thought, like the
scope of ills ambition, was unlimited.
Once lie asked Ids chosen debaters to
decide whether tlie planets are Inhab­
ited.
Again, he discussed this earth’s prob­
able ending, by fire or water.
He discussed also the meaning of
dreams nnd the value of “presenti­
ments.”
In practical life lie discarded every­
thing save realities, but in discussion
all abstract questions Interested him.
It may Interest you to know that In
general he denied positively the exist­
ence of hell—perhaps that was caution
on his part—and maintained that no
man should die without confessing his
sins:
“Only a fool says that ho will die
without a confessor. There Is so much
we do uot know nnd that we cannot
explain.”
It Is deeply characteristic of Napo­
leon's thought that he should have de­
clared for Mohammedanism in prefer­
ence to Christianity.
He admired the religion of Moham­
med “because it conquered one-half the
world in ten years, whereas It took 300
years for Christianity to establish it­
self.”
The old French king became convert­
ed because he thought the Christian
God beat his pagan god In battle. Na­
poleon had not traveled far beyond that
old king.
The man who seeks for all sorts of
wisdom in Napoleon will be deeply dis­
appointed when ho comes to analyze
the great fighter’s religious thought
But for the hero worshiper there Is
comfort in this:
Napoleon trifled with everything ex­
cept the first great cause.
On the deck of his ship on a fine
night there was much Irreverent, flip­
pant, materialistic chatter. The revo­
lution had made stupid atheism fash­
ionable.
But Napoleon was Impressed by tlie
calm night, the blue, dark water and
the silent, beautiful stars shining down
in cosmic rebuke of the tiny blas­
phemers below.
He stopped very abruptly the prattle
of atheism.
Toward the stars be pointed the
short, thick arm so soon to rule this
little planet.
“You may talk as long as you please,
gentlemen, but who made all that?”
There was no answer, nnd there was
no more atheism that night
The man who was to build up tlie
code Napoleon could appreciate the
force and necessity of law. His mind
realized the feebleness of man, coping
even with little problems of earth.
lie felt that great laws nnd a Great
Lawgiver must swing and direct those
millions of silent worlds above.
When Napoleon wns still a Corsican
patriot, the great Paoli said to him:
“Napoleon, you are not a modern.
Y’ou talk like tlie heroes of I'lutarcb.”
Earnestness of the old kind was In­
deed Napoleon’s characteristic—ns em­
peror, plnnulug *o rule Asia from tlie
back of an ornamented elephant, or as
a poor, half starved lad, taking off his
muddy shoes to enter the presence of
the matronly Mme. Permon and listen­
ing to her stories of descent from the
emperors of Constantinople.
Napoleon In Ids hours of work wns a
doer, nnd In Ids hours of leisure be
was a discusser.
He exercised constantly the two sides
of Ills brain, the practical and specu­
lative.
Do the same and succeed.—New
Yqrk Journal.
To Spell Shakespeare’s Name.
It hns been shown that Shakespeare’s
name lias been spelled by responsible
writers in 1,900 different ways. In his
own time Ills contemporaries spelled
his name In 32 different ways.—Chlca
go Times-IIernld.
The net earnings of the water de­
partment at Cleveland last year were
«518,477. Tbe volume of water pump­
ed nnd distributed was 22,525,239,000
gallons._________________
HOW QUAILS HIDE.
Altbousb the Man Could Not See the
Bird the Pup Ma« lllulit.
We are ail mote or less inclined to
dispute tin* uuusual Incidents reported
by observant brother aportmeu and if
persuaded will excuse the bigotry
sliowu by saying, "I never saw any
such thing.” The claim bus been
made that a quail will lay a dead leaf
over its back when "laying elose” in
the woods, and this I have always
thought an appropriate extract from a
pretty fairy tale and pitied any one
who could be gulled by such a very
transparent falJe.
One day while hunting quail a covey
flushed wild and scattered In the
woods. My comiMUilon look the old
dog and I the pup. and we proceeded
to beat up the cover. The first point
the imp made was at the foot of a
small tree, where the trees stood thick,
but where the ground was atony and
was covered only with thin patches of
dead leaves.
Taking the direction of the dog's
eyes, I passed close by his head and,
brushing by the tree at the foot of
which he stood, walked on 10 or 15
feet, but flushed nothing.
Going back to the dog. I carefully
took the direction of his eyes and look­
ing closely discovered sitting between
the roots of the tree within a span of
my foot the bird, nnd lying well over
Its back was a large dead oak leaf
placed in such a manner as to convince
me beyond all shadow of a doubt that
the bird had placed It there.
My reputatlon for veracity Is fairly
good, but 1 wish that pup could also
make a statement In this case, for he
anil I were the only witnesses of tlifc.
to me, strange and Interesting Incl-
dent.
1'. 8.—We got the bird.—Lewis Hop­
kins In Forest and Stream.
‘‘THE MAN WITH THE ADZE.”
How tin* Bntcher’a Chopping Block
Is Kept Smooth and Neat.
A constructive rather than a destruc­
tive force implied by tlie name Is "the
mnn with tlie adze,” who Is sometimes
seen by early comers to the meat mar
kets.
Most persons have doubtless observ­
ed tlie large blocks upon which butch­
ers trim tlielr steaks nnd chops. The
top of the block is usually ns smooth
ns gloss, but the constant chopping of
meat thereon roughens the surface
eventually. Tlie general Idea seems to
be that tlie butcher keeps his block
smooth by merely sawing off the rough
section. Such, however. Is not tlie case.
Specialism has even entered here.
The man who makes a business of
smoothing tlie butchers' blocks appears
nt tlie meat markets early In tlie morn­
ing before tin* customers arrive. He
rolls the big block to the sidewalk,
then mounts to the top of it, adze in
hand. Bringing it down swiftly from
a vertical position above Ills head, the
blade Is made to pass between Ills legs
skimming tlx* surface of the block with
great dexterity.
At each stroke a thin layer of the
rough wood Is removed. The operation
Is continued sufficiently to satisfy the
butcher's requirements. Some three
hours are ordinarily consumed in the
operation, anil at the end of that time
"the man with tlie adze” finds himself
richer by $1.—New York Times.
Photo* Tlint Would Pay,
Everybody Is trying to make money
quickly nowadays, and photographers,
amateur and expert, form n goodly per­
centage of the total Included in "every­
body.” Here nre a few subjects that
would fetch very high prices:
A house being struck by lightning.
We have photos of lightning flashes,
but no picture of the kind which shows
a flash actually striking a bouse.
Two trains In collision. Photos of
wrecked trains are common enough,
but n snap shot at the very occurrence
of the smash remains unrecorded.
The crew of a lifeboat In the act of
rescuing the sailors of a sinking ship
In a fierce storm.
A negative of an Atlantic liner bat-
ting with an ocean tempest. If you
could take a snap shot of tills subject
from the deck of another liner It would
be worth n good sum.
A photograph of a sprightly earth­
quake In Japan or some other country
which Is troubled In this way. It
would be well to hang tilt your camera
raid make it work automatically, as
earthquakes are not to be played with.
Such a picture would be Jumped nt.
A Lay SuKKestlon.
On the last night of a series of “pro­
tracted meetings” In the Methodist
church of a little southern California
village the visiting evangelist was
milking a special effort to obtain a
showing of anxious souls. He bad
preached his best sermon nnd reached
nn emotional fervor Unit he litiil seldom
equaled. But nobody responded to tils
Invitation. They sang a hymn, and
then the evangelist rose again nnd call­
ed upon the congregation to “enlist for
file service of till* Lord.”
A battle scarred, woollen legged vet­
eran who bnd dropped into the back
Real watched the proceedings with in­
terest. For tin* third time the perspir­
ing evangelist rose and asked, "Is
there no one willing to enlist In tlie
Lord’s army?”
Then response came from the back
Beat, "Draft ’em. parson; bang It, draft
’em!”
Nntnrc'a Crowning Work.
As for the woman, she found the
chief wonders of creation not In the
culminating vertebrate, but in the low
est orders of life.
“Tlie Jellyfish, for Instance!” exclaim­
ed the woman. “How was It ever got
to Jell so beautifully?”
Now, the others thought they could
understand her awe. although none of
them, as ft transpired, had ever put up
any preserves.—Detroit Journal.
There have been rapid strides In the
Iron nnd steel Industry In south Itussln
during the past live years. No fewer
than 14 Iron works have been started,
while the quartet of pre-existing works
have doubled the number of tlielr blast
furnaces.
♦
HÎ1/PC 1*0 CARLOADS
♦
♦ UVV 111 YVO READY FOR DELIVERY
♦
Full Line of Beekeepers’ Supplies. Prices
♦
Low. Write for List.
♦
Pncf Ynnrcalf nn Prime by sending for our April Catalogue; 40
♦ rUol I UUI ocll Ull rl ILCo pagrs. Free to everyone. Much valuable
whether you buy from us or not.’ It's tbe most accu­
♦ information,
♦ rate and reliable list of groceries, etc., published.
Want Vnnr Rncinocc al,<* make it worth your while. Mail
♦ Wo
YYe iidlll TOUT DUblliebb „rder-are our s|R*eialtV. We originated
♦ selling by catalogue twenty years ago. Increased yearly business
♦ since proves satisfaction. Don't pay over profits to credit mer-
♦ - chants. Buy for sjsit cash. No credit given anyone here.
Riitcw
♦ Wholenalc
Smith’s Gash Store,
to Individuals,
♦
55 Market St., fian Francisco, Cal
♦
MBNTIONTHIS RAPER
He Got the lluniiiess.
BLflKf,
MOFFITT
& TOWNE
Importer» ana Dealers In
"There are tricks even in our trade,"
Book. Nawn,
said the old life insurance mnn. “Aliouf
Writing and
ten years ugo a couple of respectable
Wrapping...
CARD 6TOOK
old parties, man and wife, came to
town with #100,000 or so that they
STRAW ANU BINDERS' BOARD
85-07-ru-H . First St.
wanted to put into an annuity. They
T il . main 109. S4 SAN FRANCISCO.
had neither chick nor child, kith nor
kin, aud they wanted to finish their
Ilves In ns iiiueh ease and luxury ns
SAM MARTIN
CHAS. CAMM
For S3 years with
For 3 veura with
Could be bought. So they made the
C. I*:. Whitney & Co
C. E. Whitnoy & Co.
rounds of the life Insurance companies,
getting tlielr anuuity figures and llad
NEW COMMISSION HOUSE
ull the actuaries In town making cal-
dilations In tlie case.
“The bend mathematician of the
Blank Dash company was a little bet-
ter than a mere figurer. He happened
1*41-1 lifl Dnvts st., San Francisco.
to hear what town the old parties came
from, and he suddenly remembered
General Commission and
that he had an old friend, a doctor,
Produce.
who lived there, whom he hadn't seen
for years. He Invited the medicine
¡Specialty, Butter, Egga und Cheese.
mail down at once, took him out and
Your.conslgnmoDts solicited.
showed him a real good, decent time.
Then he edged around to the annuity I
hunters, and. Io and behold, the doctor
was tlielr family physician! Without
appearing to pump him, the actuary
learned enough about the old couple to
enable him to make a most glittering
Inducement to the pair, and they
bought tlielr annuity of his concern.
They were both dead Inside of two
years. 1 forgot Just how much the
company netted. I think It had paid
All the world knows that coffee in
out about one-tenth of what the old
excessive use is injurious. And yet
folks had paid in. The company was
the coffee lover cannot stand taste­
less cereals. There has to this time
a gainer, mid there were no losers ex­
been no happy medium between
cept the other companies as a result of
Cafó Bland fills the void with the
the actuary's shrewd move.” — New
ls*st elements of Isitli. It is richer
York Sun.
than straight coffee, and many will
not Is* easily convinced tliat it is
»Spellhlndcra' ” Way a.
not all coffee. But we guarantee
“Spellbinding” Is the happy name
Unit Cafó Bland contains less than
given to the platform speaking which
fifty per cent coffee, which is scien­
tifically blended with nutritious
[flays such an lin[s>rtnnt part in every
fruits and grains, thus not only
campaign. Tlie niitlontil chairman de­
displacing over fifty per cent of the
termines who shall be the stars In this
eaffein, but neutralizing that which
department. An ex-president Is most
remains and still retaining tlie rich
In demand, a speaker or nn ex-speaker
coffee flavor. To those who sutler
comes next ns a rule, and senators and
with the heart, to dyspeptics and
representatives are Invited to speak In
to nervous people Cafe Bland is
the order of tlielr usefulness. One
especially recommended as a health­
ful and delicious beverage, so satis­
speech by an ex-president Is worth half
fying that only the member of tlie
a dozen efforts by other men, though
family making the change in tlie
they may be more logical and eloquent.
coffee knows there has been one.
The candidate himself, when nn ora­
More healthful, richer and less ex­
tor, will draw greater crowds Hinn any­
pensive than straight coffee. Better
body else, but If lie Is wise he will let
m every respect. 25 cents per lb.
the national committee arrange his Itin­
Your grocer will get it for you
erary ami schedule, Headquarters are
Ask for
always overrun with volunteers for tlie
stump; the star, or man with a repu-
tat Ion, waits to be Invited or urged.
Most of the lesser men are laborers for
hire, but others nre ambitious to make
a reputation as a stepping stone to po­
litical office, and some nre Intensely In
earnest ami eager to be useful to tlielr
party.
Tlie national committee settles for
the expenses of spellbinders, unless
they insist on [laying tlielr own way, • Pronounced oaf fay—accent on last syllable
which is unusual. Some of the great
orators receive handsome sums for
tlielr services aud travel In state.—
■In»' Ear.
Home Magazine.
In Syracuse is a cave said to have
been constructed by the tyrant Diony­
Sruntorlnl llepnrtce.
sius, probably used as a prison. It is
Once in the senate chamber John J. made In the shape of an Immense hu­
Ingalls was directing some remarks to man ear, and Its acoustic properties are
Senator Hoar of Massachusetts. The most remarkable. Maxwell Sotnmer-
other senator from that state, Mr. ville, the author of “Sands of Sahara.”
Dawes, having come In while Mr. In­ visited It nnd had its properties exhib­
galls was speaking, thought the words ited to him by the guide stationed
were meant for Ills ear, and so. Inter­ there.
rupting. lie asked Ingalls If he was di­
The man took a sheet of letter paper
recting the remarks at him. The tall nnd. standing within the portal of the
senator turned slowly around, for Mr. ear. struck the edge of tlie paper with
Dawes sat behind him. and then, with the forefinger of bls right band once,
delicious intonation, but nn instant twice, thrice. Each light tap was re­
wit, he said, "I was directing my re­ peated through tlie deep orifices of that
marks to the successor of Charles Sum­ stone ear as if It bad been a blow with
ner and not to tbe successor of Daniel a heavy sledge hammer on the roof of
Webster.”
an Iron house. He then rattled the pa­
The repartee baa become traditional, per slightly, and tliat feeble sound was
and the utterance was at once placed augmented a millionfold, reverberating
alongside of tliat reply of Conkling through the vaults above and beyond
to Senator Thurman, which Is also tra­ like the crush aud roll of thunder. He
ditional In the Semite chamber.
whistled. spoke and called. Thousands
Conkling was speaking, and Thur­ of stentorian voices repeated every
man had said. Interrupting him, “Does sound. Turning to my companion. I
the senator alm his remarks at me; said:
he constantly turns to me?” when
"We must not longer tarry. Let us
Mr. Conkling, with delicious gravity, embark. Now we shall go to Kabylla,
bowing to Thurman, with whom he on our way to the desert of Snliara."
was very friendly, said: "When I turn
Myriad lungs of stone caught up the
to the senator, 1 turn as the Mussul­ last word of each phrase and nnswered
man turns to Mecca; I turn as 1 would aloud, “Ta rry—a rry—embark—ark—Ka­
turn to the common law of England— bylla—by lla- Sahara—hara—ara—a—a.”
the world's most copious fount of Ju­
A Gentle Hint.
risprudence.”
Little Bobby had been forbidden to
ask for dessert. The other day they
When 1.1 linng Ctinng Grinned.
Once during a dry season In China forgot to serve him, nnd ns Bobby Is
the viceroy. Earl LI Hung Chang, call­ very oliedlent be remained silent, al
ed on the American minister, Mr. Con­ though much affected.
"Josephine,” snld the father, “puss
ger, nnd spoke of the weather.
“Yes," said Mr. Conger, “It seems to me a plnte.”
“Won't you have mine?” cried little
be dry everywhere. It Is dry In my
country too I read in one of our pa­ Bobby. “It Is very clean.”—London
pers the other day that In many plnces Tit-Bits.
In the west the people were praying for
Not Given to Squanderin*.
rain."
Justice- - You say that you doubt the
“What!” said the earl. “Do your peo­
Itatement of the previous witness that
ple [tray to tlielr God for rain?”
"Oh, yes.” said the minister, "they the defendant squandered his Inherlt-
tnee. Please give the reason for your
often pray for rain.”
“And does their God send It when doubt.
Witness—I tried three or four times
they pray for It?" asked the earl.
“Yes, sometimes their prayers are an to get him to visit a church fair, but It
was useless. IIo nlways smiled and In­
swered. nnd sometimes they are not”
“All the same like Chinese Joss, hey?” formed me that he was not born yester­
said the earl, with a grin nnd a chuckle. day.—Boston Transcript.
PAPERS
MARTIN, CAMM & CO.
In the World.
Teeth rm to Many faea.
All Eskimos have good teeth, but
they arc subjected to severe usage,
Altoarther Different.
being used for pinchers, vises and
Suitor—I have come to ask you for
fluting machines.
your daughter's hand.
The teeth are emt' oyed In drawing
Every thief causes a lot of honest
Our first regular factory ror manu­
Father—Well, tbe fact Is we are pret
men to be suspected unjustly.—Atchi­ bolts, untying kul i, holding the
facturing glass was established at ty crowded here as it Is, and I—
shaping boot
mouthpiece of n di
Temple. N. II.. In 1780 and wns oper­
Suitor—Ob. I Intend to take her away son Globe.
soles, stretching nq tnnnlng skins,
ated by Imported German glassmakers. from home If I marry her!
The oldest known artesian well wns Whan they become I
ven from bard
Father—Oh, well, I, Ui Wat case— But
•unk
at Lillets. France. In the twelfth usage they nre level!
>ff with a tile
When yon folget there are others, you did give me i an awful start, my
century.
or whetstone.
bov.—J iton Transcript. \
rou nr.' ncnrio»» q biirne*' -Idge.
The Chinese nre not entirely clothed
In cotton. The ordinary annual crop of
Milk in China Is estimated at about 21,-
OOO.IMX) pounds, of which over CO per
cent Is consumed In the country where
It Is produced.
The key to the Bastlie Is now hang­
ing on the wall In the ball at the old
Lome of Washington at Mount Vernon.
It wns given to Washington by Lafa­
I yette