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About Bandon recorder. (Bandon, Or.) 188?-1910 | View Entire Issue (April 4, 1901)
MNDON RECORDER. ConliU't See (be Humor. i can i tor tuo lire of mc sec, re marked an Engllshmnn during the course of conversation with Nat Good win once, "what people mean by Amer ican humor. To inn nil humor Is alike, whether It be of American or Knells origin. Perhaps you can explain to me just what distinguishes American hn mor from any other sort?" "Well," replied Mr. Goodwin, "I think the American typo of humor Is rather more subtle. It doesn't always fully Impress Itself upon you nt once. The more you think about It the funnier It seems. 1 can perhaps best lllustrnte my meaning with a little story. "A man was walking along the street one day when ho passed another man who was carrying a letter In his hand " 'Pnrdon rsc,' sold the man with the letter. 'Do you know where the post omco Isr " 'Yes,' said tho other man and pass ed on. On second thought ho decided that ho had been rude and went back to where the man with the letter wo till standing. " 'Do you wish to know where t ti postolllco Is?' ho asked. " 'No,' said tho other man." Tho Englishman's gaze was vacan "Just turn It over In your mind for row minutes and tell mc what you think of It," said Mr. Goodwin. Ten minute later tho Engllshma clutched nt Mr. Goodwin's elbow. "You won't be offended, will you, old chnpV he murmured. "Hut. really, 1 think they were both blawstcd rude!" Sat urday Evening Post Polly Larkin. Cloaeneaa I'enonlfled. There's a good story told oti a young fellow here noted for his closeness. II went to spend tho night with a frlein During the entire night ho betrayed much restlessness, which kept tho host wide awake, and Anally the slutnberc betrayed signs of violent emotion "He's going to have n nightmare," said the friend, "but he always grumbles so when you wake lilin up tlmt I hate I disturb htm." lie waited awhile Ion ger, sitting up In bed staring on the miserable sleeper, and finally, becom Ing alarmed, he roused him. lie sprung up In bed. glared wildly around an said: "Where am 17 I don't sec the storm." "Why, here In my room." said th Lost soothingly. "Jou remember you staid nil night with mc? I beg you pardon for waking you up. but you cor rled on so I had to." "l!eg your pardon," gasped the guest "1 shall never be grateful enough to you. I dreamed I was out with Miss Hud, and a terrible storm came up. an my shoos wero new, and I was Jin ordering a coupe for two wlien yon roused me. Old Iwy, you have saved me a dollar." Anil the host says he was actually nfrald to go to sleep again that nigh for fear the coupe would come. I.011IH vlllo Times. A Chlueae C'nrloallf. "A Chtnamuu In San Prnuclsco," says a gosslper In the Philadelphia Itecord "showed mo once an Ivory ball as big as your two lists, with six smaller balls Inside It It wan the moot wonderful thing I ever saw. The Chlnnman said that the balls had been begun by his grandfather and tlmt he was the third generation to work ou them. lie told me how tho work was done. "It begins with n solid block of Ivory, which Is turned Into n ball and then carved In a latticed pattern with tiny snw toothed knives. Through the Int tlco, with other knives that are 'icnt In various sIihh', the second ball is carv mI, but Is kept fast to the first one by a thin strip of Ivory left at the top and by another left at the bottom. Then the third ball, with still finer kr'ves. Is tackled through the first and second ones, and so tho work goes on till all the balls are finished, when the strip that hold them linn nre cut nway, ami they all revolve freely, one Inside the other. "This Chinaman said ft wan a cow moil thing for fiimlllei to have such balls for hundreds of years grandfa ther, father. Mm and grandson working on them when they lind nothing ele to do. Thoy nre prlcclca. of course. Some cheap hall are made of veg table Ivo ry, being carved while the material is soft, like it potato. Tltw, though, are nut worth more than a few dollar at the most." Her Weilillnu "I'uMer." Au accommodation train ou a dis tant rnllruad whs dragging along, when a long. Icon and hallow woman, lu what apiK-nnsl to be subdued urlilal tluery. leaned across the aisle of the ear aud said seriously to n lady kitting opposite her: "Dear mel It's a kind of a suleuiu thing to bo trnvelln with two hut bauds, now, ain't It T "I do not know what you mean." re plied tlie huly "Oh. mohtx not. Well, you . my first husband died 'IhM a year ago an was burled over in Patrick county, an last week I was married ag'ln. au me au my second bus km ml have lieou over lu Patrick county ou a little wed dlu tower, au I thought I'd kind uf like to have my art husband burled In the gnneynrd nlgb where I'm gull) to live now, an uiy socoud husband was wllltn. to w luk m flr( bus baud up, au he's In the baggage car along with our other tblURv My sets ond hUaUaud Is sett la out on tire platform taktu a smoke, an I been t-ettlu hero tbluklu bow solemn It to go ou a weddln tower with two husbands. It's a turrlblc solemn piece of blttics wheu )ou come to think of lu"-l.aureif.v lee in Upplucott' Magailue. .mi iiitetvstlng rvltc lu the lwpo or a piece of a granite bowkler. containing what nppoctr to ho two huiuau foot prints, has been loaned to the uiuovtltll at St. Johnsbury. Vt.. by Wlllkim A. Chase of Morrlsvlllo. The reek from which the (vlece was quarried has been a curiosity lu Grauhy for a century. It I a granite bowlder wvlghlug ewral tons, situated one and oue-balf miles (nun (Jalluits Mills. The tally InipuUllon of lb lbUltalde building lu New York l S.IUA and the umll average about IS.0) pieee a day. Kvery 45 uiluutes mall wagou ruu over from the wioiuYc aud carry back with tbviii 71 xuud f outgoing mall quet that most men urrangeliesliortest of stems and no leaves. Was It pretty? you ak. Not n bit of It. It would take the face of an angel to et oil" that ugly bit of headgear, and If n homely woman gets It may the fates have mercy on hnr. for Pollv Is nfrald slit would 141-. ... I 1 wu wiui our OKI elollies lillll Oil Willi l,rili.stliiei.iiii nttrnrtlve woman me new. i ne Mime can in? sain or our ew, hut mid bonnet, "oil' with the old mid on with the new." Dour me, but how tired we got with our winter mm- tunic, mid how we long fur tin; ilninty sjirlng mill summer clli-cts that our ti-to-dnte Htorekeejiers nnd milliners en tic lis with by lining their .show-window with nil the new novoltie o nttmetlvoly illplnvtil tlmt none of thu fair sex win resi-t the desire to study the contents, mid build w hut limy prove to lie castles In theulr of her cummer costumes, inclildliig lint, dn.-s.-os nnd wraps and the predict iind mo-d dainty lingerie that hn cverUeli displayed at very reasonable and, consequently, m ulnr jriein. Homo of the latter look like billow of luce more thiui unythhig ele, o inuchoflt lui-ed iinil so tastefully run with dnlnty lmhv-rlblm. Thoy are lovely enough for uny bride hi the Intnl. You couldn't U-gin to buy the material ami make them for wliut you pay for Mime of the article. I overhenrd the remark of two little colored girl- ns I stisxl looking hi the show-window. They were hi niiioh Interested with thefontclitK toolr-urve nnylxsly cle: "In't tlmt chy-untht-iiitiui one a stimuli!' one, though. I could wear tlmt real good," uld one. "You shouldn't uy Stunnlti', but 'swell,'" salit the other. "Oh, you think lecali-e you come fnmi New York a a nurM'glrl (a gisl deal of em pliHN on the mirx-glrl, I you know It all. I don't have to work out, and it may Is? 'swell' in New York, but It U VUinnin'' In 'Frisco, nnd I ny that's u stiinulii' lint, and I could wear it. Ho there." The window hud lost It attraction, und the "swell" little girl ami the "-tlliililn " little girl walked oil' In n lit of the ulk. Hut going buck to the reulm of dow er, urtlllulul though tliey limy I Polly knows of one sweet little girl who s not yet out of her teens, wh All i not gold tlmt glitter, but gold always reminds you of n violet by he button, gold braid, gold embroidery modest little way and her proferonc mid gold tas-el, uuglcs ami splki-, for violet, and you never x-e her but nre all the rugo nnd are used ou overy- Uomethlng uboiit her reminds you of thing nnd the latter is Mug run Into them Instantly. She gave wuy tlit'so- the ground. I he siike were showy cret the other tin v. "You know, Polly und drey ut tint, but owing to their I was not lorii handoiiie, nor evoi Mug cheap, costing only three cent pretty, to my great regret, o I deter- apiece, they have Urome o common mined to cultivate n cheery, happy tlmt other thing uro In-lng sought to I ill-i-ltlon, and trv and ninke mv-elf take their place. A very hunil-oiue o nttrnctivo in other ways that m nine spiKo niines in spurKiiug oi w mi irienus nt least wouiil rorget I wits h tiny gold houd to clasp it roiind the homely. I can't nlloril to drt-s hum! rlblsni". They cnt twenty nnd twenty Nimely, but I aim to dress In gil tute, live cent nploce, don't hsik common, und during the .soaxin I wear violets nnd are very drossy. No matter the eoiistuutly, nnd even my hat are color of the dross, It I deemed the trimmed with the (lower I miM love proper thing to -lllch it in gold or trim It In narrow gold braid, mid It does not stop at the ilrocs and wniis, but ex tends to the hut nnd neck ribUois tlmt are adorned with little gold tassel. ' ou iiy I nlwuys curry the lor of (lower with me. Till- is tho wuy I do it. You see tilts little Uittle of vloh Iicrfiimery'.' It Is the tlnest French e. tract of the violet tlmt in inude, inn nw n new depnrture in this fancy for furthermore, it Is lasting ami u few- gold decorations tho other day on u drops go n long way. I put three o young girl and wondered whether It four dros on this tiny little silk pat was u fancy of Iter ow n. On the end- of the rlblsjii tlii I lu a graceful Nw nt the neck was her own monogram lu gold the real nrtiele. She looked like she was one of the few that could grat ify every whlmthut cuiiic Into hercurly little head. It wus u new feutureniid Polly will ackuowKslgo that I niis--d Iflng n Inn-prophetess If the idea Is not taken up mid from now on the mono grams uud simple little Initials do not apHnr hi something that her less for tunate sistciM cim adopt; but by that time this little miss Imve grown tired of her fad ami will lie searching for something el-e tlmt is out of tin military. tilled with cotton ami violet -uelie iMiwdor mid tuck it among the violet on my hat when I am going out urn aiiotiier one In tlie folils of m v ilre-ss, You caiiiint toll tho odor from the true violet. The extract coiiii" high, for It cost a dollar an ounce, but it last fi a long time If you are careful in ii-ing It." No wonder she Is a violet girl thought Polly, when I had time ti think. A kindergarten toucher asked one n her bright little pupils the other day t choose of the bright strip of puM?r for his weaving work. Instead of one he ho-e all the colors. "Well, Walter, you got the whole lot," the teacher said as she handed them over to him "Wasn't she llly?" he sjild to hi- mother afterward. "She -aid the whole lot, when she know was out In the luck yard." BRIEF REVIEW. I had (he lot Hut enough of this tinsel und gold, and wo will take n glance Into the big lry giHMls lioiiM- that lniirt nearly all of their swell suit, as thoy term them. lore you will Hud the rich colors that re found In Roman striis-s uod for trimming, in striie and mixture, tended In one perfect whole and Used as lillilnirs. cord. Vests and naiiols. ils ho eu-o may U- ami as the tate of the nmcxKtn vipmmiu: vsiumf, lilgner dictated. Nwirlv all of them John W. Foster, former S-c rotary of are iimhI In the trliiimliig of blaok suit, Mute and one of tho mint w Idely expo- but I saw one Jaunty little suit In a rionced of American diplomats, tell oH-k blue trimmed with the bright some intorostlngand amusing Instances color. A hut of the cloth -tltelicd In of American diplomat and court c due and trimmed with the strimil silk tinne-. The ladle w 111 lx? iuterosttsl in I . . . . ml a blue bird, made up the daintv knowing that lu diplomacy extreme ml becoming mitllt. One of the co I consideration i given to the kind of tuuie dorigued for dinner or evening clothes which tho representative wear. wear was n Jetted blaok lace in an olab- Mr. roster says: "xune Ministers have rate sittern oor white tall'eta silk, made thorn-elves ridiculous by securing he lace fulling to tho verv edge of the " apiilntnieiit in tlie State militia long train. "Ho. eit have come In d making u-e of that uniform. A totay,"ut Imist that Is what I heard story i told of one of our represoiitn- ne of the laisy employe toll a custom- tlvo at a l'uroH'uii court who api'ared r at site biistUsl round trying this gar- nt the alaco in the garli of a captain of meiit and that olio ou au Impatient a cavalry troop, a pM lie iiad Ulled at ustomer who lisiked like tlie Imneof home, which hsl the moiiarchlcul dl- life was trying on clothe Now a glance Into our milliner' win- low. It I too early to think of that ve ol au ICastcr Umiiet vou have sot ur heurt on; hut If the di-play in the iiidow during tliU midway imrt of liewHMtu isaiiy guaraiitee of what the priiiK iiillliuery may tiring forth, then a sure a the blueblnls w ill come ugniii, pnunloe you that Dame Fashion lias In store for yon the hellwt bnds and Ummiis that Imve Iss-n sliowu in many n day and that they ar- going to be Ustsl In the grtiltTt pnvfu-loii. YU I are as much in favor as thev were i'Imhi they cmiiic forth lu all their glorv wo or three yonr ag. They are Iswu- tlful, rich lu color, always In gi taste ami ar- worn by old and voting. .'lib U.I .,.wlinetioii is very luuvl. in ,mVl, ..u,.,,,,,,,,,,, ul,m Ul, UkMl,v flavor. tniMUiieoi Hie iHtmilar lial lomats, attractitl by his metal helmet, ipiliulcallv to ask if he Is-longisl to a lire oouitiny in America. Tlie In structions of the 1 VKirtment of State now in force construe the law to allow of such a departure from a simple drss us will sevtin? our diplomat wolcoiue admlttaiico at court cerenion- le. For instance, the ineinU rs of the I'lilted Suite omlwissy in Umdoii a- Hiiroiistateo,cnsoii In kius. bawhes, with metal buckle on their slux-s, and lu other reeet in ordinary evening dross. U"j1U Miit ol linnon oaili. Ill some new Unik lailldlngs tlmt are being envtcsl In Utudoii, It has It-en divlihsl to trust neither dUv, private eti-todiaiis nor safes. All wnlN eon- neoled with the money vault are to hcfiitirt crown h-uuideof violets, the tonis Is-lug cut oil' -si as to U M'Wtsl in lint. The brim l made of nival niirnle 'wvet, with bow and lolig-temmsl vwilvU fur trimming. The lovely pink rtw tlmt wet conspicuous for their IkH'iuv lat jeur have Hindu their ap- peiimniv in luauilth-s this year. To lv sure, tho Miuiiiu-r of leu) showed pink roM, tail they were lacking in gniee and dainty color. Tlie rose fur this cnim r-oro-he.1 rueof the dalutv coUtr that you sonietiines v lu the hunts of suiiset, rosy a Aurora's finger tli. There are countings Ikj.I, and lirsniitbeinmu, too, but lu the latter only one or two of the flower have thu lar Uvti itwl, ami tliey were pkieed dllvelh iui that frMit u( the lint that turned hack (rout the face aud kktsl ik natural as though they Iiad "jut grownl" there. Another of these haU, to U worn oil' the ftitv, was maile of ulack velvn aud a handful uf still Utile liltc bud wllh no Uxtvos to relieve the M-Vint), that Usikisl for all the orld hkt a man bad picked aud placs llicin tin ii I.-1 :i was tlie kind of !u linlssidtsl in them, the idea, of course. Mug that the nKiudist surface of the cannon ball- willcii- Mirgmrs' tool- to slip and therti will t no chniitvof lucking the wall- to pltst- iulckly enough for Imrglarioits ileprtslatiou-. New St-otlaud Yanl in liiidoit i- the largest HIIce station in the world, and W oaKtbtc of lUVoiniiHxlatlug .ttk) s llee nlllcer. The grt-at Kurka-ldaho-Maryiaul on shoot III Nevada ctHinly ylehled flT.uO.UO In the tlmv minus mei tioutsl, which isHiiprivsl till- ore Usly. Alumliiuiu as practlenlly n-ssl 1- ,tl. way hanloinst with alloy of catppor, tung-teii, manganese, etc. Over tl,tt,ll worth of dkiiiMHHl tv stolen every year fnnn the South J THE LANCE IN WARFARE. When the war lu th' Transvaal broke out, Dr. Frederick S' haffer, a distin guished German army surgeon, obtain ed permission to arcomnany the Hrltlsh troops, his object Wag to ascertain to what extent the Inoce Is Ptfctlve as a weapon In war. During the campaign he devoted his entire attention to this subject, and now lie has returned home and forwarded to his government an cfllclal report thereon. In It he says that wounds caused by a lance are not dangerous and are easi ly cured, and that the reason Is because the Iron point of the weapon Is round and therefore pnes through tho or gans of the IkmIt without Injuring them to any great extent. "Helng such a humane weanon." he points out, "the lance Is bv no iik-sds as tnluahle In war ns Is generally supposed. Never theless It can b' made a dangerous weaiwn by merely changing the form of Its point, and If the military author! ties decide to retain It as a portion of the equipment of cavalry this should certainly be done " This suggestion it exciting n good leal of comment In Kurope. The Frank ."ort Gazette, apparently appalled at tho thought of transforming a humane weapon Into a cruel one, says sarcas tically: "We propose that the point of the lance he made nf such a shape that It will lacerate every organ In the body nnd render the cure of every wound utterly Impossible. Furthermore, It will be well for the authorities to seriously consider the advisability of Impregnat ing the point of the lance wllh some deadly poison." A liermim Oltlcer'a KnoiTleilue. The "mail question" In South Africa Is said to be responsible for n number of our disaster As showing how ory differently the surveying of other coun tries Is attended to In the German ar my, a correspondent sends the follow ing story: "A few weeks ago I happen od to lie In Iterlln. I ennnced to re mark to n young staff otllcer that Im mediately on arrival In London busl n ess would take me to a little Hump shire village As It was many miles from the station I would. I observed, probably have great difficulty In ob- talulng a conveyance. 'Not at all promptly observed my friend. "You will reach the railway station hi 2 .10 p. m. on Tlnirsil.iv afternoon. It Is mar ket day. and au omnibus leaves the station for the village on that day at hourly Interval between 10 n. in. and 0 p in If you choose to walk, bow- ever, jou must remember to take the second turning on the left ami the tlrst ou the right after leaving the station Of course I asked my Informant If he had ilslled the place. 'I have never been In England In my life.' was the answer. "I am on the surveying staff, and the southeastern portion of ll:iuiv shire Is my district.'" tximlon Chronicle. A lilac I'ruii riirm. How many generations ago was It wiien unklinl llrltlsu satirists liegan calling Frenchmen frog enters in ac cents of sneering and contempt? It Is not unlikely that lu the-e days as many frogs' legs are cooked and eaten In the United Stales as lu our sister re public oer tlie sea. The sales lu our markets are large, and the demand lu American homes uud restaurants seems to be steadily Increasing. Sev eral keen New Knglanders have nut their heads together and also their cap Ital and have decided to start a huge frog farm not n hundred miles from Boston. The annual crop will not be sent across the ocean, but will bo takeu lu the markets of mir principal cities 1'lils is n time of odd and noel Indus tries. Is there a possible profit lu tad (tolos too? Well llehnteil Wnatllliutoll. Wnshluglou Is iK-rliaps the most mor at of the large cities of the country. There nre no gambling houses. Faro. roulette and keuo are unknown. Poker, when played. Is restricted to small groups lu private rooms. Sunday ob servance Is notable Not only are sa loons shut tight, but other places of business, save w here food or news papers or drugs are on sale. No the atrical ontertnlniiietits are given, the last ntideville bouse which attempted Sunday night performance tmvlug yielded to pressure (he past year. The observance of the liquor law U not merely formal, with tbe evasions of side doors, ns found la some cities It Is actual, licensed places closing promptly at the hours speeded In tbe law. St. IjuIs ; lobe-Democrat. lllrl i:l,-rs. There Is an old legu.d i tint every man must eat a peck of d.n before be dies. In some (Kirts of Australia people eat mora than a lck of it and do actually die as a result 'I here is a disease there w bleb frequently becomes epidemic, as It has now lu North Queensland, and which lakes the form of Inspiring Ils 1 1ctlms with a mad desire to eat earth. At Usraldtown. Cooktowu and Towns vllle conditions are more tbau serious. and It is feared that tbe acourge will pread and that I be school children will come uuder Its Influence A com mission of medical men bas Just been ppolnted to consider means of check ing tbe dlulp PASSING THE BELL. Xii l.onxer l'el to llecoril tbe Jor nnU Sorrom of llurnnnltr. 1 he solemn and Impressive custom of announcing death br the tolling of the church bell will soon be but a vague and distant memory. "The passing MI" has Itself passed away, and Its slow measured accents no longer tell the story of the departure of one more soul. The brief notice In the dally pa per, while It conveys explicit informa tion, falls to give something that the bell's tolling carried with It. The sol emn rhythmic tones awakened a mo mentary vibration in the breast of each listener nnd bade each pause for sym pathy and meditation. The hell ad monished the sinner to repent and warned the thoughtless that time was tiylng while it spoke clearly and com prehensively nnd bade all scattered and preoccupied Inhabitants attend Its story. The bell's voice Is Identified with all the decjM?st and most sacred human emotions. It has bespoken the Joys and sorrows of all mankind for centuries. Is Its voice to die away and nave no part In tho life of the future? The wedding hells ring out no more save In some song or story. Tho Christmas chimes are seldom wafted to our cars. The church bells ring but faintly now and under constant protest. "The cur few tolls the knell of parting day" only In verse. A sunset gun today gives greater satisfaction. The angelus sounds merely In pictorial form, the fire bells give place to still alarms, the dinner bell Is silenced In polite society, and sleigh bells are discarded. What Is the future of the bell- that happy fcllver tongue that has sung out the Joys of all the world, that solemn tone that has mourned for the nation's dead and voiced the nation's woes and summoned to their knees the nation's worshipers?-Atlantic Monthly. The Sklu nmt the t.nnm. "That the skin 1 Intimately connect ed with tl e lungs I proved by the fact that our minor Ills of Hie respira tory tract- colds, for Instance are al most always traceable to a checking of the perspiration, so that the Impuri ties of the blood polon us." suys Har vey Sutherland. In Aiuslee's. "Every body know the story about the little Iwiy that wus covered with gold leaf as a cherub for some Homn' pomp and how he died In agony a few hours afterward. The poisons manufactured by ids own organisms slew him, to say nothing of his sutTocatlon. Hums Involving more limn one-third of the general surface are fatal becaue the excretory powers of the skin are less ened beyond the abilities of the other depuratory organs to make iqt for. "Varnish an animal and It will die in from six to twelve hours, say some authorities. This Incontrovertible fact is matched by another equally incontro vertible that nobody ever heard of any case of tarring and feathering that killed tho victim. lie might have had all kinds of trouble lu getting tbe stuff off, and he might have felt n shock to his pride, but he didn't die that any body over hoard of. 1 never assisted at a ceremony of this kind at either end of the Joke, and so 1 can't speak as to tho completeness wllh which the body Is covered wltb tbe tar. but from my general kuowledge of the character of the ieople of tlie west and south west, where ucb sorts are freely In dulged In. I should say that It would most likely lie n thorough and compre hensive pigmeniati. u Ii may be that tbe man hicntlits through the quills of tho foaihei sin. k ou lint I doubt It. should H -iik mi u hi $ea u) tbe (lore or ih- -kin -iulte as effectually as varnish, and it is a imlnt warranted io near in an u-nim-rs ami not to cru"k or scale off." f llrlenm Market, Hy (be operation of a u?w Law Deer I .In 0 greeu grocers, butchers and luitry sellers iu New oncid are forced lo clo thvir places of busloe penuaueatly Tbe kiw lo question pro hibits ibe establishment of a private market wltblu a.'.i'O feet of a public market and was enacted lu th latere! of tbe public market I Id order to Increase ibe revouM of the city. It has hern tested and upheld in the courts. Tbe public markets now bare a tMOotMly. aud food nrto In New Orleans will go up 10 or 15 por cent. New York Trlbuue. African diamond mines. silll nlou.. "Hare you fastened the windows, dearr br asked, as I bey werv shout to rvttr? for (be Hlgkl. "No What's tbe use! I cava yon Ibe la -i tlollar I bad la buy that new hat. ami e needn't fear bursrUr " "llui i bey mlht sit down on the bat. rou know" Uashlnstan IHhi The shaft of many California quart mine are many feet below sea level. Count ToKtol Is again reported to U- rioiish ill ' berv are zt,T7b young wen la the medical college of tbe Called Stale. Ux tluiu half as many. M.S74. lu tbe law ti,., au-l only about cue tb.rd a uuii.v y.s.,; ,a ibe theological tfla. Thu Kl Hun Miule Mini JIhiI A Hoston mini. In sin-aklug of certair foreign characteristics, told the follow ing story: "A iiii.(.,e Hged American couple traellng abroad tome veurs ago called in Home ou a sculptor with wuow they had been acquainted years nerore. t tie visit passed off pleasant ly. but at It close the host gallautlv. tint none the less to tier surprise aud chagrin, klod the lady as he said goodhy. The sculptor was an elderlv man. but ncvcrthi less It was a HVrtv nod she wa not astonished to bear bor liusbaud ejaculate Why. 1 never heard of such cheek! I've a good mind to an back and tell him what I think of lilinH After two or three remarks of similar tenor, in hlch tbe uote of au Ker was risinic. ine wire ilecided to pour oil on the troubled waters and so, ii) ner hand on his arm. said: ! kuow, dear be shouldn't have fcUed me, hut what does It really matter What does a kiss count In a woman of my year? He Is a very old man, and probably he was following tbe fashion or too count i t "Her husband turned au astonished face. 'Of course I don't mind his kbM hag you.' be raged, but,' and his voice rose. U s bit having klsaed me that has hurt my feelings!' "Tb sculptor bad followed tbe Ital ian custom and kUac! both wife and husband."- New Vork Tribune. Che Ouulile Letter. The double letter Is scarcely of use in auy language. Sometimes we are purely Incou-l-teni. Letter must have two literal oue. The double letter ir. H'trinm affects the pronunciation, tt'.iuld it not be well to drop tbe ei.ie loner altogether? It would p'iry spelling and Mr time too. an! Queries I'hr I8nei froth llmelrd. Caller- Vou look Ilk a good truthful girl Tell me It your trea renin out? IHiinoetie She is. ma'am. Caller- Uvrr Domain ic A i the elbows. Chicago rr-t.uoe QUARRIES OF OLD EGYPT Where Slnne For Prr.mld. of lb ....... v.. Procured. On tbe way to Phllro and the head of Ull ' Hl.fnnpe SOUth Of the cataracu u - - ., Assouan, we come upou the anclen quarries which snpplled the graum .1.. -i,,mn tatue3 and obelisk throughout Kgypt for many centurlc s. An obelisk which we saw lies In Its naUvebed. It Is 93 feet In length, an 1 thre shies have been carefully cut, but for some unknown reason It was never separated entirely irom .- i. rook. The surface bears the tool m.rL-. nf the workmen. Tbe grooves In It show that It was to have been re ,!i,t nt the sides. It was supposed ika tha etnnf WftS snllt from Its bed by drilling holes In the rock and filling them with wooden wedges, which were afterward saturated with water, the swelling wood furnishing the power. Prom Illustrations In the temples It clear that these great monuments were fioated down the river on naiooois uuu rafts and then carried Inland by arti ficial canals or dragged overland by k..,an.ta nf sinvf-s. In one of ibe tnmlis at llenl-Hassan Is a picture II Instrntlne the process. The great stone i loaded tinon a huge sled drawn by multitude of workmen. One man Is en iraged In pouring water upon the run i,.r tn nreveiit friction: another stand nt the loft of the statue nnd beats time, ti,,. r Him men may work in unison .ri.ili. inoisecr. provided with whip .,..,. ii,n hihiirei-i to their task. What i.i..,. ,i..ir,.,i lo extricate this block from the niuirry why It was left here, what It wa to commemorate, we ca never know The riddle of the phln is solved, but the riddle of tbe obclls i !, .innrrv will uo doubt reinal with us forever.-Chautauquan. .Not the Han Viol Jlan'a Fanlt. A capital story relating to good old times Is still told In the Ken district of the eastern counties. As Is well known by many and even uow rcmera bored by some, a bass viol was often procured to help the choirs In parls churches. One lovely Sunday morning In the summer while the parson was droning out his drowsy discourse and had about reached the middle a big hull manage to escape from hl pasture and march ed majestically down the road, bellow ing dcfJnntly as he came. The parson who was somewhat deaf, heard the bull bellow but. mistaking the orlgl of tho sound, gravely glanced townrd the singers' seats and said In tones of reproof: "I would thank tbe musicians not to tune up during service time. It annoys mo very much." As may well be Imagined, the chol looked greatly surprised, but said noth ing. Very soon, however, the belligerent bull gave another bellow, and then the aggrieved parson became desperatel Indignant. Cassell's Magazine. A Social Ambiguity. He had hoped to be asked to tak her In to dinner, but to his great disap pointment that duty fell to somebody else. And so mull the men arose to let the women tile out he could only gaze at her from afar and be politely stupid lo the woman nest him. He had neve met her before, but somehow they seemed to know each other very well by the time they had spoken a few word In the course of the short wait In-fore the guests paired off ou their way to the illulug room. He dldn' know what she thought of him. but he knew that from his Klnt of view she was about right. And he was a man ditllcult to please. The men seemed to lilin to linger over their cigars an Intermlnnble time. At last thoy trooped to the drawing room He sought tier out "How diil jou get along?" he asked io ten you the truth." she said (rankij. and her frankness wa-. charm ing. i nave iieen bored to death Have you uvn r "Yes," be said. isu t it a pity." sue remarked, "that we didn't got tho chance to be liorod In each others company ?"-Niw Vork Mill l.o.i iter Hatch, I.oren P. Merrill or Paris tells the story of tbe particular old woman, and oe maes her a resident of Mvermon ibe was not only old, but she was of ine worrying, fretting species of antlq ulty She bad fretted awav hi-r tr and relatives until she was ut lm,n", llvlug alone In a small bous m n,u outskirts or the town Jut as she wn lennug one Hitter CO d lllu'ht she .11. covered that Hut one unllghte.1 match remained In the house. She lay awake until almost iiarii--iit vi-nrrri.. ... i unuroing nerself with wondering If tne match was good At Inst she got up and buoted up the match and struck It to see If It would llrht hr L-ittu.., n the monjlng -Lewlstou (Me.i Jour nat Taken h snrprUe, "That cousin ol yours Is from Chlcu asked the village post Haycraft po. Isn't her master. "Yes," replied Tarnier How d'ye kuowr "When be was In hero r,.wn.,i asked If there wa, ,' " ) " " "crafts. I told birr Ton .LZ second later wheu be -.. , ay I said: Hold up There is one tT-Z '" that when I .W Hold up1 be threw m hi- i..... vi u llUin Off -r-l,l. on,, -... Trlli and mis- mi'im.. "orst paying A vulgar man i ealMloiM and tealou eager al impetuous about rrltos. He superts uiniv-lf 10 he slighted, and think tvervhiug that is ahj meant i blm A permanent life Una, coaalstiBg of a roo wtre cable, ha bees stretehi I'oor P Hr. Pill-That' tbe family ever attended 5i:r:;'is,rs:j peony out of tbem Eeuing .' a':'!L b'fe "n- i got a DlcLi tt . .. THE LAST CHARGE. lniinpmr, mow on, lernoc md tt,.l Blow till thy bule outrinj th, Scire not the wounded thil mu. . ! .1 l Drown In our em ill their nt,,.. , Steid, driioooil Cet toother toau Aim it the brent, (or that imCI I . r it 1 & Now let ui t like whirlwind e.1 Ride like jour roretitheril Ctnll Trumpeter, Mund me drrid noteitjj ni ,. . t . ... . . w - .... ali Blow till the err ol It, cllnrlnr J: Call lie the tuedrooi thu JS deith. I CIom up, drigoont, nd ride lonnrjivS Trumter, mow m once more loa-ulj Thli Ii not eirth, tut deid men, that ,g ' '- tiny Trumpeter, lound note tender ind hJi Will lor thow loit to ui, tob tor out54 Crr loud tor teneeineel Od. Rlril the roir ol the kuIi that Ut.i"iJ Rnif, drigoonil Vt ire Bfte ttit for. iS hunt ii a rhrr bursti orer lte rr... ' 1 Who flrct cm Dine hit horie Into th.i,L "i rn .. . ..... , v..m i r-.., ' -Thomai Trie Uoure In UcClari'! ' 1 RULED WITH A Ro; flat the noil 3Inat De roa i 5 lledhot Tin. ' "When all other methods of,' ling wild beasts fall the keener to employ an Iron rod, which h'"' maue reunoi ai one enu," mhv circus man to a Star reporter n' -Lrions nnu tigers," ue contlnnfi cringe before the heated poktri matter how restless and frtyK may nave ucen tne sight of tya ing iron immcuiately brlnci i their best of animal senses. lA almost hypnotic Influence on. beasts. I have seldom heard! aDlmal being burned In this however, so mere is nothlDrt the treatment. It would not dali keeper to burn the charges ogj cai. for the scars would animal for exhibition purpoiet hot Iron Is a terror, Just th and under Its persuasion tbelCa the Jungle arc docile and reiM what is wnnteu or tncm. "In circus menageries the tu often become almost unmin This Is true of the younger $;$ who do not like the Idea of t closely housed, so much haoltff and so often cut off from the E the outside world. When IUS necessary to give their cageifS ough and sanitary cleaning, onti' ant bolus tuc beast in a means of the redbot Iron, wi other thoroughly cleanses limit ing portion of the cage, the woit), accomplished by brooms inj.! I . .,.!. , M iruiu lot- uuisiuc. iu euaopN wilder animals from the cif -4 ployed on the road to the lirj "J more commodious quarters atttjg iCI BlUUUU, 1 Uili V luii a BirJMH Is used. The wagon Is uaaltili sine tne large cage ana the imu box, open at both ends, Is constx passageway. The animal besin make the Journey through suclti plclous looking object, howete again the heated Iron must bek Into play." Washington Star. i Toon n Jlean Advnntut A supernumerary lu Itlchard field's com puny who had been, Scotch phrase, continuously u : tlnually "heckled" by the mia1; rehearsals and between the ncti leged displays of stupidity ontlr was Informed that a near rel his bad departed this life andk. blm a competence, so be d leave the dramatic profession 4-W quote him, become respectable. I I t . . .. . . ..L. icariug ue ueiermineu to iiiir; veuge on Mansfield for the ttr . his amour propre that gentlew made. The play was "Itlchard III"! super was one of the coldm led nn-nr llu nuL-n nf ItucMJ when the king orders his demist, In due time Itlchard remarket; with his head!" and this vrii pcr's opportunity. Advancing touched his helmet In the itjk footman and replied loudly and I ly: That'll bo attended to, old We'll take cure of old Buck. all rightl" and retired graceful!. the Infuriated Mansfield caot commit murder, be found ibe ic?, tied. Chicago Chronicle. Oulda nnd Ibe Ilachriir'JE Lord Itathmore told a friend ouco took Oulda In to dinner i disappointed he was to Und tWJ novelist devoted herself to tie J rather than to Intellectual refrai? He said at Inst In despair at only been able to get "Yes" asJ jj in answer to tne Ultlerent aunj- Introduced: "I'm nfrnld I'm iltfS unfortunate lu my choice of topi there anything we could talk w Interest you?" To which the chronicler pf . shortcomings replied: "There 'j thing which would Interest much. Tell me about the ducbenl have written about them all i and never mot one yet." . Why Cables Gel Tire. There has been some questW The Electrical Engineer, as to t son why certain cables lose thelal ducting properties nnd have lJ Instances to be replaced. A Frenchman has submitted a P?i the subject to the Academle 4al euecs. In this nancr he tat when cables lose tbelr electric!! crtles It Is becauoe they are 1 'jsed for one kind of current $ ther rxisltlve or necatlve. "J sometimes for positive and ej ror negat ve. they w . he aiama serve their conductive oualitiess Inttelr Kinerlments with olf running from Paris to Dijon trated this, he says. ot Wliollr a Jllaforll The Widow-Yes. Henry's det great loss to me. but I am thinWj one thing-he died before be co i T i his patetit nerfected. i Vaa:?lVh'"' . : SympathU.ng lcnd-rarJoJ 1 teadau7 . " 'Jmpathy for the The Widow-You don't unue- ' er boors." mpioyees for short- , hy, In that case, you know, Mrons wtre eahle. has h . -N0 much." sn..i ... along tbo entire aUtaaee of tte ChicT I1' J?t ,0 "M men don't know 4r.la.ge canal. W 8e. ,o be u!ed off f' ' in. , . " " t. money he bad would have gone' or later.-Iloston Transcript caae of accident The American ,ioall imnorted in.. SneJ.-u aoitie i agvi eeai to thrive SUd 'II. r as,- j i ..nts r (r r , , US IO 'S s.s .1 n. . , . r a ..II,. . . . au stati.' U . l w :ut. . t... re and the girls iifc. A tlpeaa llararala. Wife Oh. such a bargain! I 1 "leg. Drive A Co.'s ahead of 0' r I narM ... . . I. . . .... . ... innisx.i.1. ... .. tsr iuptu mis morn hi- an, mi enoucn i' ,r nrir M e -----. --- ""yiDg in a perfectly e erant dress for!-! " a nice, con.fortal.u h, V""us ,u i"eciiy elegant dress ror ' mae or i. h. . J. .' .b'nellke office i Husband-Hoonla! You're Star ua'- -Washington What will It cost to get It n)idJ - ' Wlfe-'Hout $3a-New York