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About Bandon recorder. (Bandon, Or.) 188?-1910 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 31, 1901)
o .A.V o V o V o V o A' o t: o W o jpR - - T T T Kfrwrfyftf. hy 11. 0. IttlK !3?T V 'T' .-'Y'--V'--"7'- una raced, nut uiuu. whose natural illdfaess of eye is j;lynlillc':itly oxag erated xxiifti you catch the beam trough lils glasses and whoso tteep, elllJorate voice Irritates Irritable ik'o 3J A certain elaborate clearness of ounclatlHii has come with liltn to hl resent vicarage from tils scholastic Hon and a certain nervous determlua (o5to be linn and correct upon all Is ues, Important and unimportant alike. tells a sacerdotallst and it chess play r.apd suspected by ninny of the secret ractlec of the higher mathematics redltuhlo rather than Interesting (Tings. Ills conversation Is copious tuTfglven tnucli to needless detail. Hy uany. Indeed, Ids Intercourse Is con opined, to put It plainly, as "boring," niljsuch have even done me the com illmeiit to wonder why 1 countenance ijiu? Hut. on the other hand, there Is 4 large faction who marvel at his conn enanclng such n disheveled, discredit- blefiiciiimlntiince as myself. I-ew p tear, to regard our friendship with -unanimity. Hut that Is because they loTHbt know of the link that binds us, iffmy amiable connection via Jamaica titti Mr. I.edbettcr's past. flAb'out that past he displays an mix ouilmodesty "I do not know what 1 hould do If It became known," he aya and repents Impressively, "1 do tbtlkuow what I should do." As a natter of fact. I doubt If be would do inythlng except get very red about the arsi Hut that will appear later, nor vllpl tell here of our encounter, since, sja general rule though I am prone o break It the end of a story should ome after rather than before the be :Innlng. And the beginning of the sto jjgoes a long way back. Indeed It Is ioW nearly "0 years since fate, by a erics of complicated and startling inu teuvers, brought Mr. I.edhettor, so to peak. Into my hands. In those dajs 1 was living In .liimai njnml Mr I.edbetter was n school iaater In Hughim!. lie was In orders nil' already recognizably the same nan that he Is today, the same rotuudl jjjof visage, the same or similar .lasses and the same faint shadow of urprlse In his resting expression, lie vas, of course, disheveled when I saw dm and his collar less of a collar than Jwet bandage, and that may have lelped to bridge the natural gulf be ween us. Hut of that, as 1 say, later. ,Tlie btisiue-s began at nithergate-oti en, anil simultaneously with Mr. Led etter's summer vacation. Thither he ame for a greatly needed test, with a fight brown portmanteau, marked F." V I-.." a new white ami black traw hat and two pahs of while tlan el)troiiser-. He was naturally ehll rated at lijs release from school, for ejwas not xcry fond of the boys be night. Afier dinner lie fell Into a Iseiisslnn wltli a talkatlxe person es tUlMicd in the hoarding house to fijcli, ailing on the ndxico of hi illlt he hail resoi-ied. This talkative eni i was I lie oiil, other man in the oilsi. Their di-i-u-ioli i-om ei lied the leluuchul.i diaipe,iraui e of wonder J5 ndxcutiiic in these latter days Hr resilience of glebe trotting, the aboil ou of dlstaii'-c by sienm and olootrlel rjtho xulgarity of advertisement, the egrnilatioti of men of civilization and lany such things. Particularly was ic talkative person eIo(iieut on the eeay of huniaii courage through se irlty. a security Mr. I.edbetter rather loughtlessly Joined him In deploring if? I.edbetter. In the llrst delight of mancipation from "duty" and bem uxlous perhtips to establlsli a reputu S& fC- -liKnilji conviviality, partook ithcr more freely than was advlsabli rjthe excellent whisky the talkative irsou produced. Hut ho did not be me Intoxicated, he Insists. He was mply eloiiuent beyond his sober wont ad with the liner edge gone from his idgmeni And after that long tall. 'Jtlio bnive old days that were g irever ho went out Into moonlit II Kb Sato alone and up the clllt road here the xdlas cluster together He had bewailed and now, tis he Sliced up the silent road he still be ailed, the fate that had called him to icli an uneventful life as n pedn jgiie's. nat a prosaic exlsleiice he d," so stagnant, so colorless! Secuie. ethodlcal, year In, year out, what call as there for bravery? He thought ivlously of thoo roving, medla-val I I lys, so near and so remote, of quests fabric of bead curtalu, very black and m spies ami condott er and innnv a snarp ngaiusi u luriuer wiiioow. n ny blade drawing business. And Aldeuly came a doubt, u strange iUbt, springing out of some chance lought of tortures nnd destructive al fether of the position he had assum llthat evening. Was he-Mr. Led ittor-really, after all, so brave as he LAt,,.,r..l ... , . , ,, . . B W li II J Ultl IUL- nill IUIU IUI. uuuov. tux F? h J T ri'?. ' S" VV!" f" nolselessly-on a mat of skin. v,i, I?"w?y-P0"ci,' ' -'. He was a burglar Indeed! 2 Vi , M",,k;'J; "' !'' He crouched for a time, all ears and Mtaikatu- iiuiu had snoken einlous n... rif .,, i peering eyes, uuimill! wi'ip B n.-aiunv The burglar," he said. , ji" Iho mil - 1 lug lion iiisuiUK, uuu iui u mwiuvui ith Th nb V , l", ", r , 1 , 1 be repented of hi enterprise. A short - V O CWIIf,!- Iltl UWll 1 tbt-agalnst the whole civilized I rid!" And Mr. I.edbetter had echo lbls envy "They do have some fun ! K of life," Mr. I.edbetter had said ; d are about the only people who do ml think bow It must feel to wire a , fnl" And he had kiughcd n i. k j .Now In this franker Imb itf communl.jn i.e found himself lu-; law. aud ibquirt the way he had come. Kuliug a comparison between his , He peered alsmt him. and suddonlT u brand of courage and that of the , the critical spirit arose again. Hur Oiltual criminal. He tried to meet ' rlars did far more than such mere ele fe insidious questioning, with blank mutary entrance as this. They went ertion "l coutd do all that." said , Into rooms, they forced safes. Well, r Ledbetter "I loug to do all that i he was not afraid. He could not force aly I do not give way to my criminal safes because that would be a stupid tpulses. My moral courage restrain want of consideration for bis 'bouts, e." Hut he doubted, even while be Hut he would go Into rooms; he would Id himself these things. ' go up stairs. Moreover, he told himself Mr. lslbetter passed a large villa 1 that he was perfectly secure. An unp undlng by itself t'ouvenleutly sit ty house could not lie more reassuring i ted aU.ve a tuite practicable bal y still uy wus a window gaping bluc-k. Ho Lad to . Iini h his bauds never ide i.pcu, At the time he scarcely the!, ss and summon all bis resolution V A A. .A .A. .A.- --.A. A. .A. --.A. .A. - Oof.o.or,o'.o.o,.o'.of.oi',oioioo'.o:o.oo,.or,oo 1 IIl'S B BY H. C. WELLS. CooVoVo'o'oVioVioUoVooooUoUoV(Oiioooo T'.... T -...y .. .y....-y....y....-$ji v-.-v.... Mr friend Mr. I.edbetter Is n stout, marked It, hut tin- picture or 11 rami with him. wove into his thoughts n, llgtirod himself climbing itp thai but cony, crouching. plunging Into thai dark, mysterious Interior. "Huh! ou would not dare." said the snlrit of doubt. "My duty to my follow men for bids." said Mr. I-edbetter's self respect. It was nearly 11, and the little sen- ays, an elaborate clearness of eniuicl-, side town was already very still. The whole world slumbered under the moonlight. Only one warm oblong of window blind far down the road spoke of waking life. He turned ami came back slowly toward the villa of the open window. He stood for a time outside the gate, a battletleld of mo tives. "I,et us put things to the test," wild doubt. "1'or the satisfaction of these Intolerable doubts show that you dare go Into that house. Commit a burglary in blank. That, at any Kite, Is no crime." Very softly he opened Mini shut the fate and slipped Into the shadow of the shrubbery. "This Is foolish." said Mr. I.edbetter's caution. "I expected that." said doubt. His heart was beating fast, but he was icrtaiuly nut afraid. ' He was iiot afraid lie remained In that shadow for some considerable time. The ascent of the balcony It was el dent would have to be dune In a rush, for It was all In clear moonlight and visible from the gate Into the avenue. A trellis thinly set with young, ambi tious climbing root's made the ascent rid culoiisly easy There In Hint black shadow by the Moiic vase of Mowers one might crouch and take a closer view of this gsiplng breach in the do mestle defenses, the open window. I'oi awhile Mr I.edbetter was as still as the night, ami then that Insidious w ills ky lipped Hie balance. lie dashed for ward lie went up the trellis with ipllek. convulsive movements, swung his legs over the parallel of the balcony i 1 1 1 dropped, panting. In the shadow, even as lie had designed. He was trem bling violently, short of breath, and his heart pumped noisily, hut his mood was exultation. He could bine shout ed to lliiii lie was so little afraid. A happy Hue that he had learned from Wills' "Mephlstopholo.s" came In to bis mind as be crouched there. "1 feel like a cat on the tiles." He whis pered It In himself. It was far better than he had expected this adventur ous exhilaration. Ho was sorry for all poor men to whom burglary was un known. Nothing happened. He was quite safe. And he was acting In the bravest manner! And now for the window to make the bumlary complete! Would he dare to do that' Its position above the front door dellned It as a landing or passage, and there were no looking glasses or any bedioom signs about II Very m'tly lie lljcd Into the sluiduw til the bhntblicru or nt.y other on the llrst- tloor to sug gest the possibility of n sleeper within. Tor a time he listened under the ledge, tUcn raised his eyes above the sill and peered in. close at hand on a pedestal and a little startling at llrst was a nearly life size gesticulating bronze. He ducked, and after some time ho peered ngn n. Hcyond was a broad landing faintly gleaming, a tllinsy broad staircase plunging Into a gulf ol darkness below and another aBcendlni; to the second floor, fie glanced behind him, but. the stillness of the night wa unbroken "Crime," he whispered "crime," and scrambled softly and ....... V.n ..III lt.n V.n l.r.,,c.t II, a miaow." a spitting and a rush Into silence spoke reassuringly of cats. Ills coinage grew. He stood up. Kvery one was abed, It seemed. Ho easy Is It to commit a burglary If one Is so minded. He was glad he had put It lo the test. He determined to take tome pretty trophy, Just to prove tils freedom from nny abject fear of the -' - - 1 - ' .l-, before he beean ery softly to ascend the dim laitxase. pausing for several seconds . tweeu each step. Above was a squat 1 landing with one open and several loed doovs, and all the house was stili Km a moment he stood won dering hnt would happen If some sleeper woke suddenly and emerged. The open door showed a uiooullt bed room. Hie coverlet white and undis turbed. Into this ruotn he crept lu three Interminable minute and took a piece of soap for Ids plunder his tro phy. He turned to descend even more softly than lie iiceiideil. It was ns eay as Hist: Footsteps on the grand outside the house and then the noise of a latch key, the yawn and bang of a door ami the spitting of a match In the ball be low! Mr. I.edbetter stood pet rilled by the sudden dlscoiery of the folly upon which he had come. "How ou earth am I to get out of this?" said Mr. I.ed better. The hall grew bright with a candle tkltuc. some hcav object bumped against the umbrella stand, and feet were ascending the staircase. In a tlash Mr. I.edbetter realized that his retreat was closed. He stood for a mo mem. a pitiful llgure of penitent con fusion "Mj goodness! What a fool I have bein!" he whispered and then darted swiftly across the shadowy lauding iuio tin- empty bedroom from which be had Just come. He stood lis tening quivering. The footsteps reach ed the llrst (loot- landing. Horrible thought! This was possibly the late comer's room! Not a moment was to be lost! Mr. I.edbetter stooped beside the bed. thanked heaven for a ala lice ami crawled within Its pro tection not ten second1' too soon He became motionless on hands and knees. The advancing candlelight apirearcd through the thinner stitches of tin lb rlc. tlie shadows ran wildly about ami became rigid as the caudle was put down Lord, what a day!" said the new comer, blowing noisily and seeming to deposit some heavy burden on what Mr. I.edbetter, judging by the feet, de- elded to be a writing table. The tin seen then went to the door and locked li. examined the fastenings of the win dows carefully and pulled down the blinds and, returning, snt down upon the bed with startling ponderosity 'What a day!" he said. '(5ood Lord!" and blew again, and Mr. Led- better Inclined to believe that the per son was mopping his face. His boots were good stout boots, the shadows of Ills legs upon the valance suggest ing a formidable stoutness of aspect. After a time lie removed some upper garments a coat and waistcoat, Mr. Ledbettcr Inferred -and, casting them over the rail of the bed, remained breathing les noisily and. as It seem ed, coollnc from a considerable tem pera tun-. At Intervals he muttered to himself, and once he laughed softly. And Mr. I.edbetter muttered to him self, but he did not laugh. "Of all the foolish things!" said Mr. Ledlietter. "What on earth am 1 to do now?" to hi: contini'i:!). Iter SiirrlMee. The Kev. ryrus 'I'. Ilriuly says lu hli book of missionary reminiscences: was once preaching about missions. urging the cungicL'utlou to make some saeiltice for the missionary cause- ami Indicating lo them several methods by which thej could follow my advice. Among other things I suggested that they refrain from purchasing any book which they very much desired and do nate the mono to me Instead for my missionary work I happened to have perpetrated a book myself. "You will therefore understand my feelings when a very bright woman In the i otigrcgatlnn came up to me and handed me $1 with the remaik, I had Intended to buy your book and read It. Mr llraily. but I have concluded to fol low your ml vlct and give you the mon ey for missions instead.' "I accepted the situation gracefully and told her I would lend her my own copy of the book to read. She smiled iinl thanked me, and as she did so I voiced my thought lu this way, 'Hut after all Mrs. It., there does not seem to be any sacililce ou your part In this transaction, for you have the happy consciousness of having given the mon ey for missions and vet have the book as well. " 'No sacrillce?' she replied. 'Why, I have to read the book!' " Him lln llu rint-ni- ."ilnkt lire. One day a Hurmcso messenger brought me a note. While he was wait ing for the reply, I observed nn object something like a boy's popgun sus peudeil aiininil Ids waist. On asking what It was be showed me that It was an Implement for producing lire. II was a rude example of n scleiitltlc In struuient employed by lecturers at home to Illustrate the production of heat by suddenly compressed nlr. A piston tltted into the tube; the former was hollowed at the lower end and smeared with wax to rece've n piece of cotton or Under, which when press ed into It adhered. The tube was clos is I at niie nd liming the piston al the top of the tube, with n smart blow he struck It down ami Immediately withdrew It with the tinder on lire, the sudden i-iiiiipiesslou of the air having IgnltisI It I was so much struck with the scleiitltlc Ingenuity of this rude Implement that I procured it fiom the Hiirmnii and sent It to the Asiatic so i lety of Hetigal. with n short descrlp Hon of Its uses. "Itccollcctlous of Mj Life." by Surgeon General Sir Join Payer. I iiilertmik Tito Much, "George." said Mrs. 1'erguson, "fot heaven's sake stialghteu up! You're worse hump shouldered (ban ever." "Lauiii." retorted Mr. Ferguson, "tie satlslled with having married me tc reform me. When you try to roHhnpt me, you nte undertaking too mueh." chicago Tribune At the time of the Human occupation of Hritaln five distinct species of dogs were there, most of which can with certainty lw Identified with those of tht prcwiit day. There were the house dog. the greyhound, the bulldog, tie terrier and the slow hound. f'omfort miw iters are beautiful Hull tniuuis or ernes of courage and good cbcer. written mi small papers and roll ed up like puw dficd medicines. One li to be unrolled, read ami enjoyed each ajornluz Kach ono Is a mystery uutll Its turu cotui-s nd the surprise U t part of the pleasure. A XfGHT UK SOBJtlNG. MRS. GALLUP LAMENTS THAT HER TIME N EARTH IS SHORT She llpnril tlif Summon, to un llrndr lu lip nti Angrl Hinl Itiul n Little TtU With Mr. (inline At. out Wboin He Should Srlccl 1'ur l Srrouil (Copyright, ! t- II LcH.J After supper Mr. tlallup had gone cwr to the Htore for a whetstone and paper of carpet tacks, and as he went Mrs. Gallup was washing up the dlshe and singing "The Home Over There with great feeling. Ho returned In half an hour, and as he reached the kitchen door the sound of sobbing met his ears. He looked lu to tlud Mrs tftillup weaving back and forth ou chair with her check apton at her eyes, Something had happened. He didn't Inquire what It was, but turned about and sat on the doorstep and In nn ab sent way began sharpening n sickle wltli the stone he had bought. It was live minutes before Mrs tiallup volun teercd an explanation. When she saw that he had neither anxiety nor svm pathy. she hitched her chair Into the doorway, used a flesh spot on the apron to v, Ipe her eyes and tlualk said "Samuel, when you've got thai sickle Mint pencil you might go oor to Mrs. lichee's ami tell her that I shall be a dead woman before tomorrer. You '(UT IIKAI1 TO III N ANoKt. needn't beai around the bush at all, but tell her right out She'll rather lie epeeiin the news. She was over here this afternoon, and she said 1 was llu ble to git my summons at any time l'c got it all arranged with her about the Mineral Mr. Gallup did not look around. With calm deliberandi he spat on the whet stone, and with calm deliberation he drew It bad; and forth across the blade. "Yes, Samuel, my time has come!" sobbed Mrs. Gallup after walling a reasonable time for him to speak. "A few hours hence and you will be a widower, ami a few days hence you will be wen ling a red necktie and can lerln around aftera second wife. When you started over town, 1 was as happy as a lark and hadn't the slightest idea of ilyin. Ten minutes later when I went to carry the butter down cellar there came seven knocks ou tint emp ty elder bari. and as 1 stood there slinkln I heard a whlspeied voice a-say-lu. ilauuer Gallup, git ready to be an angel!' It was my summons, and I've got to go Nobody kin hold buck agin a summons What kind of a second wife shall you marry. Samuel?" Mr. Gallup had paused In his labors and was looking absently at a robin In a cherry ti "You needn't feel at nil dellklt about tut I; In It over Willi mo," said Mrs. Gal lup as sin dabbed at her eyes with thu apron. "I've alius s'pectctl you'd git married agin If I should die, and I shan't howl and squeal about It. Mrs. Itebee says If her husband marries Bg'ln she'll haunt him, but you needn't be afraid of me. I'd rnther you mar ried agin. If you didn't, you'd be goln to circuses ami dogllghts and candy pulls nnd become its wicked us Silas Johnson. S'pose you'e klndei had your eye out, hei'n't you. Saiiiuel that Is, you've kinder iniide up your mind about what sou of a woinaii you'd marry?" .Mr. Gallup withdiew Ids gaze from the tobln and letiirneil to his work of sharpening the sickle, and -Mrs. Gal lap's nose had grown er led with the pulling when she continued "There's the Wldder l.tiplmm. Sam uel, and eieiybuily says she's until f'J.bCX), Imt I wouldn't want you to mar ry her. She's loo Idly illy for a man of your age While sin- was swiuglii lua hammock she'd let the bteail burn up lu the oteii. Shu'd waul you to go off to a picnic every day III the year uud If you had any soft soup in the house you'd hev to buy II And tlien V thu Wlddei I m vis. She's a good house keepci. Samuel, as I'll admit, but they ay sho glis streaks on. One day she'll I'C laughln and giggllu all day long, ami the next day she'll bo ns sulky as a mule. She kin make a ound of tea go ns fur ns I klu. but she told me with her own month that sho had four pairs of stocklu's last year. Could you put up with slch extia vngance as that. Samuel? Wouldn't you be tblukln of how I alius got along on two pairs a year?" Mr. Gallup whistled softly to himself ns be felt of the edge of the sickle with his thumb. The whistle conveyed no direct Itifot matloii. but was a whistle lu the nbsttaet. Mrs. Gallup looked Ml thu back of Ms neck for a moment and worked up nnd chokisl buck a sob nnd Ihcn said: There's I'lmiie Cousins, whom ev erybody likes, but she's nn old maid and sot In ln-r ways She ueei I .in I. bites nor gits mail, but she huiii rythlng Jest so If you cuiue into u ouse nnd t browed join hut down thu tloor cr pnlbl your boots off In the parlor In the ftenln, shod raise the uwfulest kind of a row. I guess you'll her to marry a gal. Siimind. .on are old 'nuff to be the father of any gal around here, bui I don't see no other way. Ilev you got any perllckler gal la mind? I was ihluklu of hue habit) the other day. She '.'0 years old and a great hand P Hoik, mid inobbe you'd be happy with her Her mother says Sue likes U be iM-iu-d. You'e never U'clted me bu ti" bbe you'll change "hen I hid gone No. Samuel, I can't I remember a time m '.'7 years when dm" ji t , vuu've pulled my ear or pa'leil n the fhouider or poked me In the ribs. I- I" - The remembrance that there had been no shoulder patting or ear pullluK during all those loug years brought n fresh outburst of cuiotlou, und for two minutes Mrs. Gallup sobbed bitterly Mr. Gallup laid down the whetstone and the sickle and picked up the paper of tacks and balanced It on the point of his linger, but he was oblivious of Ills surroundings. "I I don't complain, Samuel," said Mrs. Gallup when she could control her voice again. "When 1 saw that you wis mi hand to pet, 1 let It go. I'm old and wrinkled nnd scrawny, nnd I can't look fur petlln. It will be different with a cal. however. If you don't pull her ear at least one a week nnd call her augel. she'll git sulky aud dually run awny with n tin peddler. Mrs Hebee was savin that Hertha Williams would make a good gal wife fur you. and Mrs. Wllllums says ibat you could not do better than to marry Mary Hawkins, but I ain't goln to pick out nobody fur you nor tlnd fault with your choice All I'm goln to do Is to die and become an angel nnd let you do Jest as yon want to. I've got Jest one leelle favor to nsk." The lump lu her throat and the tears In her eyes cheeked her speech for half a minute, and during that time Mr Gallup iut the lacks down ami lifted up the sickle again "It's only this. Samuel. You needn't do no weepln fur me when I'm gone. nnd you needn't hang oxer the gate nun try to loon all oroke up over my loss "ion kin co right to playln check ers as soon as the funeral Is over, but some night, later on, when you are nil alone In the house and the crickets nre sltigln. I waul you to remember Mia: I bad my good pints as well as un bad I want you to remember that I used a doilies bller with sex en holes In Hie I iot 1 1 1 1 1 fur nine years without iiieiidlii and thai I hain't had a new ousel fur ioxen years. Our teakettle Is oxer li years old, ami I've made one set of cups ami sassers last us since xve was married That's all, Samuel, Hid now I'll go in and die, and von kin be lookln aiiiund fur your second wife!" She rose up xxith a sob and retreated Into the house, but Mr. Gallup kuexv nothing of it He hung the sickle on 1 nail near the (lour, put the whetstone Hid lacks on a shelf in Hie wood shed. "lid II walked down tl ath ami losed the henhouse door and cast a look Into the pig pen When he its turned to the house, Mrs. Galltin xvas looMna at her bowl of emptyings under the -hue and humming the air of "I Want to He an Angel." She had had her latueiitatl ml got over It. and It would be three or four days before she would break out again. M. qr.wi. WHY HE LIKES MUSIC. I'l-J sleliui Win,,,- lti-iitiilliiii ns h ( i lllc XX ii. IIIiisIpiI, There's a physician In Baltimore who nil. ues music. Ills laste. lo be sure, runs lall'er to "Old Hlack Joe," "Sit- Minimi Hl-.er' and such classics, but till any sort of music will do. and lie listens in it nil ecstatically and xxith a pn peily Intelligent look ou his face. It w.-is llieiefiue believed that he had a inn- liute for harmony, and bis repu tation as a ctillc xvas established and grew apace as reputations will, good or bad. The other cloning as his daughter approached the house In which this physician lived she heard the strains if "Huiiie. Sweet Home." uroceedliii: from Hie llbiarx I'alher's at It again," she said to herself softly "I wonder who he has iieiced Into playing for him noxv?" glance disclosed the fact that he had bribed three stteet musicians, two lollnlsts and a harpist into giving hint a ptivalc iccllal They Mulshed the air Just as the young woman enter d. and the physician turned to bet with a beaming face. "That '.Nearer. My God. to Me,' is a beautiful thing Isn't II?" I skod It was the llrst tittle he hail commit eil himself oil the subject of "times.' iinl Ills glory began to diminish from that moment, for his daughter told the iii'lilelit as what sin. considered an ex llellt Joke Now the xi'orth.x man says that he likes music solely us nil Incentive to thought ami listens to It when he wish s to solxe some knotty problem of nr Icry or bones. Just ns those xvbo suffer froin Insomnia go to church and listen lo tile sermon to be ;ci In sleep. -Haiti more .News I'hI I'lillct-mril, Have you exer noticed that nearly all policemen get fat?" asked a man xxiio keeps bis eyes open. "This would seem to dlsproie the theory that walk lug lu the open nit Is u means of red ue lilt: supeiiliiolls weight. I have known nexv policemen lo start ou their beats xvetglilug no more than l-.i pounds. In six mouths they would Hp the scales at lo'l and lu a xcar reach the 'JiiO marl;. It must be the slow sauntering In the open air thai does It. for I have noticed Ibat while policemen grow fat Ibe house sergeants, w ho are conlltieil to the stations, ale Invariably Iblit. Those xvbo patrol the streets gain, the maxi mum weight In about three years. The muscles then harden, and despite their apparent burden of Mesh the men usu ally develop grout actlxlty One of the best runners ninl Jumpers I knoxv Is a iiilleemaii who xvelglis nearly ,'h) iiouihIs."- I'bi uli'lphlu Itei 1 I'hi-biiii'm I'iiii. writer in The Cniuhlll Magazine Tcdlts the late Canon Hlnghain with the following bit of wit: He was driving one day xxith otlnt clergy to h clerical meeting, when tin conversation turned upon the meaning of the txvo places ihel were Hearing. Wool and Warchitui. in the county of !orsct. How do you account for the origin of these names. Canon Hliighniiir ask- ed one of the party. "Don't you knoxv this Is a sheep coun ty," replied the canon, "and at Wool you xvool the sheep anil at YXiirclinm you wear 'em?" olll friend Gloolnc Imiists that tils wlfi Is I college lirisl XX IIHI llirillll 117 nllcgi bred, anyway?' "M bbe It's the stun tin) learn to mnki nt cooking school " Kx haiige. i ( llrsi hcok ever printed In Hwlt- jednud beam (tie date of 1-iTU. Drus Now Give Way to Animal Tissue liven Consuimptlon, l.pllcpsy nnd Sonic l:ormrt of Inniinlty ti i'c Now Ctirtitile A new em in (lie treatment of certain dlscacs Is at hand. The results are so definite ami positive as to command Immediate recognition from physicians as xxell as laymen. In the ttexv treat ment drugs jrvt' xvuy to animal tissues in solution. It Is not administered through the stomach but Isliijirledinlo the circulatory system. The lymph Used Is extracted from the lymphatic glands of live gouts. The goat Is select- (sl for the reason that he Is the ItarillcM and healthiest of nil animals. He cm not even be Inocillatut xxith coiistmi Hon or microble diseases, hs hlghlv xilullcd system tlimwilig oil' bacilli without cll'iut. Then again old age pro duces the least olt'ect oil his organs und tissue mill degenerate illcuses are seldom If. 'X'er found luhls ImmIv. Little marvel then that the dally Injection of a solu tioti of the lymphatic glandsof thegoat Into a weakened human system put leslstllig qualities lulu It and stimulates the activity of cell life, Isdh dispelling disease and putting substance Into th structure. An hilt-resting proof of tin action of the lymph is shown by the fact thai old niiiuials who have Ihvii Itealcd become active, quicker and more agile in their movements. ) thigtilslied physicians in many places have taken hold of the new lymph and for Ihe benefit of the profololi (he re stills of their experiences are lielng tuli- tilatcd. I hiring three years up to Kch, llrst over nineteen hundred cases had Ihvii treated in the Culled Slatesalone Of this number 7"i percent were o called incurable diseases ami 1 1 percent III (lit last stages. The averages of their ages was oil yea tx. ( Inly two of Ihe uiinilie (lied although according to the tables of mortality dl! should have died within thothrco years. In vlexv ofthe percent nge of Ineiinihles at least IIS should have died. Hut unto the astounding rc-ull tin1 failures wcichtil 7j per cent, whili IMi percent xvere greatly bcmiltteil nnd 117 per cent xxck inplele cures. The urcs Include many consumptives ami many eases of rheumatism, paralysl pllcpsy, ami locomotor ataxia. Aside from the marvel that consumption mid paralysis are ul last curative the dl- covery was ulaile (lint certain hum of Insanity readily yield to II I'lio positive uud stnitlhig reulls nre profoundly Impressing. I,. It Sluhleiii .M. I), a very promiitenl Knsteru expert, who has been making 11 special sltuly of the nexv lymph uud bus administered it to htmilrcdsol' cases successfully, has recently opened 11 lymph Institute in San I'raiici-co al lt!H Kearney HI, Kttll Information (intaliiliig laliitlatioiis ami other re cords of cases by mail to physicians and others Inquiring. Dr. Stalilcln ha- pioiul-eil the rocnnls of some Interest lug cures of consumption for these col limns for future issues. K l ip 1'or the Wter, They It d 11 good many Jokes about Kentucky colonels uud their natural aversion to water." said 11 fat drummer In Ihe hotel corridor the other night, "but the itchcst thing In that line I ever know to come off lu real life happened over In Alabama when old man llrlggs xvas trying to sell Ids summer hotel, llrlggs bad a pretty piece of property lu the Alabama highlands, and Its star feature xvas a uutgulllcciit big spring that welled Into 11 sort of basin uud was as cold ns Ice nil the year round. lie nun goon prospects or minting 11 popular lesort out of the place, but ho got the California fever and offered It at 11 saiiltlee to a race horse man from Kentucky who had an Idea thai he xwis (ill out for a landlord. "The race horse mini was a typical K in I iKi.x colonel of the old school uud II Illlghl.X line fellow, lie entile doxvil lo look oxei Hie gloliud III person, uud Hiiggs stinted out with him lo point out Ihe principal attractions At last they came in Hie famous spring 'This, colonel,' ii 11I Hi lugs, stopping al tin dine of the basin 11 in I swelling xxith pride, is a wonderful natural reservoir of iryslal pi 10 water. Inexhaustible In volume and a ' cold In temperature. II Is ituiloublcilly the lliu-st spring In the south ' " 'Hum in m!' grunted Ihe isiloiiel, sizing up the bubbling pool, i reckon I'll have 10 have this hole tilled un It xe close noi deul. Mr. llrlggs.' " iilleil up!' exclaimed Hiiggs lu hor ror " 'Hi s. soli ' replied the colonel cnlni l.x Vol' c I'm Hot a-calenlalln on keeping 1111,1 -lick oil the place.'" ,N'ew 1 '. li .it's i linen-Democrat. X III. I. o.'s lleliirl. At 11 dl't .ci i, a t.x a young mnii was once lalM'i: inlhel foolishly about Darw lu ci il hi- Looks, and he said to the blsle.p, 1 Winchester (Wilbei force). "My bud. luixe you read Darwin's last book mi lln- Descent of Man?' " "Yes, I hiiio" sii'd the bishop, whereupon Ihe 1 1 1 1 1 - mail continued: "What non sense II talking of 0111 being du scuniled from iim's! Heshhm, I can't see I In' use of sin II stull. I can't see XV bal dlrtireine II would make lo mo II my mamirathei xvas an ape." "Nn" the li shop replied; "I (lull'! sec (hut It mi. eld Hut It must have made an nmaiug iliilerence to your grand mother'" The .v-iuiig mnii had 110 more to say. Ill-Kill llttll SU,. "I have bin silling ou Ihe porch listening to 1I.1- sighing of Hie wind." she said seiiiiioiilially by way uf e. planniioii of her limy absence from ih' illlllM- "Ves: I lieii.d lilni sltsh." proiiipll) pill lu Hie oltlll boy "I I Int V Who.'" demanded the hciul Of the hdllseliold "Win Hun 01111,1 fellmv you alxviiy said xmis n a inn - i.ui xx liul." uusxvcrci! Ihe box Vinl 1 1 I- was the secret be tiuvcd Chiiauo I'osl BLAKE. 1 '""PO'itrsunil Pouters Id MOFFITT tZ'i & TOWNE wpflppia... un 1 OAFID STOCK STltAW AND 1IINDKRS' IIOAHt) 3.-S-17-MI-H First St. Tt. Mils 100. 1 SAN FltA.M.isCO the: eUk"" 520 Uush .Street, Sim Pi'iiiicIhou VWeljr f'H' O - il p mi i-y th- e.., x-.ci-U or mouth, en u.'. or s ogle nt rciliicnl rates House Ibort 'igtoy n-mwiiteil No tutus will lie simreil lo iimsc visitors from the country totlm city roinlortnlito nuil nt tunic iluutitr tin irstuy TiiKt'Sutir- s'ri" t i ixrs nt fi-rr, liouliun MItH. P ItANlT l'iMir.ctor AD COLDS. tjuitoiic ,-. toy urs Oftmiil t olds do not imiv h:ixn to l.e I'tidmid MiMiKt s Uv.vxxiii T.xii I'l.Es lulled iljtuunu' fiom iluir fiicrs'jri ciowd l ne.-k s (iiduairy lieiiliueul Into IJ liours mid iilwrt ilm xxorst of colds ox cr ulgiit. "It whs tint worst cuso of Kris I exer hud. A hull do., n trlends had so 10 cures. Still It huim ou. Ileiird of thu Hvn.ixiic T.x.nri,KH. To my iitimrnmcut they stojUMsl tsith cnhl tt ml coupli the llrst ulKht. I endorse and iccuiiilii, lid llii'in to the people " II.xkci.av HlM.KV, I'.t Mt'intH-r ('onvress und Atinrncy lilt Sums, nut Sin-el. S.01 f'ninclsro. J ily 7, Itmi "Winter cold limn iilunys Is-en serlou tlnns lo 1110. They me laird nnd sluv fo inenlhs Hut the lust xxns slopped suddenly by MkMiKi.'s lx N xxne I'Aiil'l.l-s. llolh wius'li mid cold disappeared In 11 couple of diixs. .So thlllK elso does tills tor mi' " Mils, V.yl I. lloi.i.ix, II Moss St , Sun Kriiniisco. Aug.il, HI " I III ti ill-loss the street fiom where Mumo'I.'s Dx-NiMIc T.xiuil.iM me miide Thnt Is hi. I tlrst tooli thriu, Thev slop colds w llhout nolti e I look 11 ile, -a tioves wltli inn for selr uud tilemis hi'n I went 10 Nome " II, 1,. V.iN XXiNKI.i 1'iiplliillst, :IU7 WnshluKtoii Strwl, S:iu 'ni. Cisi'O. Almost III, IIHI 1. Sent isislpald for eeuls lu sliuniis hx INI.A.Si) llltl'll TO , -.Mil Washington Streul S,m Kiioi.'Ii-o Also on sulo hy our local iiKeul C. V. Lowe. Druggist. Printers' Snaps. If ooket. Ncxvk Ciihoh. We Imvn sexeral hundred p.ilrs ot lliuse casus. They nro a trlllo smiiller than full hIio Wero used liy ti lend I UK dallies herore I, Inn's cauio In. They art lust thu slru In facllltatu cniniHisflloii In perfect order Kitty cents per pair f Vine (iiii'doii tlolihci. New stylo, ia. second hand, with lliiiiwnrt; lu llrsl-cliiss cnudltlau, tlan side hli-.iln tlxturcs and Is 0110 of the ls'si see. md hand piessim xe hiivi.lntd fori) lout; 1 1 inc. I lis a simp. Wcooiid-linml Cyllndci'. Si. ,'uIuimii qaorlo. Will work IN) an hour A hurKiilii for 11 country dally Sonic Hody-imd Dlsplny Type, lias not seen one month's uso. Somu ol 11 hardly slulned Second-hand prices PACIFIC STATES TYPE FOUNDRY f08 Cluy Street, 8.-Is. Ilrr Kuonteilue of rliliif.u. A young woman at u xvaterlng plact one sikuinier made a reputation ns u proroiiud linguist In a rnther odd man ner. She called one day nt n (iilneso laundry where she had left 11 shirt waist, but It could not be found, uj there was ho entry lu the book of hiero glyphs coricspoudlug to her pink slip. After 11 half hour's senrch the China man found the entry. A mistake had been made, so the entry was crossed out and a new set of hieroglyphs In tluy characters placed below. She xvus mid thai Ilm waist would be laundered Immediately, aud she could get It the next day. The next day the young woman call ed for It, accompanied by three other young women. At the seayiore the ex (itemcnt of 11 visit lo the (lillie.se I111111 dry Is not to be despised. The (.iilna man to whom the pink slip xvas pre senlcd was not the laillidryiuau of the ilny before, and he experienced the same dilllciilty hi finding the Identify lug chnriicter, dually siiyluc;, "Not In book." The gltl answ ered calmly, "I can tlnd II." and the liiliiamaii allowed her tu take the bonk. Turning the leaves un til she came to one that had nn entry crossed nut with another In tluy char acters tinder It. she handed It to the Chinaman "There It Is," and, to til surprise, lie found It. 'you only lady I knoxv spile Chi nese," be said. Aud the other glrli looked tUHiii her with admiration.- Knusus City World. Tin- (Mil Time lli.elor, 'When I xxus u joiing fellow," said the man who notices things, "the fain Ily physician attended to all the Ills of the family, and the specialists of the profession xvere xx holly unknow n. The country doctor win a surgism as well as a physician. He xvas almost always clever mid usually had remedies of his oxvu invention for common ailments. A large number of the successful patent medicines noxv before the public nre presi rlpf l.uis of ihe old time country physti bin I could name a doen such. Did Dr Hill, xvbo xvus the lender In Ihe town I giexv up lu. xvas called Into the country by an urgent message one night He wasn't advised what the patient xvas suffering from and upon arrival found It was an ulcerated tooth (hut xxns subjecting Its owner to al most unbearable pain. Not a surgical Instrument did the doctor have with him. and his otllcc xvas seven miles Hivny. Did he send back for his In struments? Not much! He extracted that tooth xxith an ordinary hammer and null to the complete satisfaction of Ids patient ami himself. I'll xvngcr he made a mighty good Job of It too," An t nlimiiUiimr Trick, lirst Suburbanite- I hear that Koo- bin's new bull dug up (he ground. broke down (he fence und lore nearly eicrylhliig to plccow In (he barnyard thin morning Second Suburbanite Yes. Some fel low went theie early uud fastened 11 pair of red spectacles ou (he nnliurd's eyes Chicago I rlhlllie.