Bandon recorder. (Bandon, Or.) 188?-1910, January 31, 1901, Image 3

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Kfrwrfyftf. hy 11. 0. IttlK
!3?T V 'T' .-'Y'--V'--"7'-
una raced, nut uiuu. whose natural
illdfaess of eye is j;lynlillc':itly oxag
erated xxiifti you catch the beam
trough lils glasses and whoso tteep,
elllJorate voice Irritates Irritable ik'o
3J A certain elaborate clearness of
ounclatlHii has come with liltn to hl
resent vicarage from tils scholastic
Hon and a certain nervous determlua
(o5to be linn and correct upon all Is
ues, Important and unimportant alike.
tells a sacerdotallst and it chess play
r.apd suspected by ninny of the secret
ractlec of the higher mathematics
redltuhlo rather than Interesting
(Tings. Ills conversation Is copious
tuTfglven tnucli to needless detail. Hy
uany. Indeed, Ids Intercourse Is con
opined, to put It plainly, as "boring,"
niljsuch have even done me the com
illmeiit to wonder why 1 countenance
ijiu? Hut. on the other hand, there Is
4 large faction who marvel at his conn
enanclng such n disheveled, discredit-
blefiiciiimlntiince as myself. I-ew p
tear, to regard our friendship with
-unanimity. Hut that Is because they
loTHbt know of the link that binds us,
iffmy amiable connection via Jamaica
titti Mr. I.edbettcr's past.
flAb'out that past he displays an mix
ouilmodesty "I do not know what 1
hould do If It became known," he
aya and repents Impressively, "1 do
tbtlkuow what I should do." As a
natter of fact. I doubt If be would do
inythlng except get very red about the
arsi Hut that will appear later, nor
vllpl tell here of our encounter, since,
sja general rule though I am prone
o break It the end of a story should
ome after rather than before the be
:Innlng. And the beginning of the sto
jjgoes a long way back. Indeed It Is
ioW nearly "0 years since fate, by a
erics of complicated and startling inu
teuvers, brought Mr. I.edhettor, so to
peak. Into my hands.
In those dajs 1 was living In .liimai
njnml Mr I.edbetter was n school
iaater In Hughim!. lie was In orders
nil' already recognizably the same
nan that he Is today, the same rotuudl
jjjof visage, the same or similar
.lasses and the same faint shadow of
urprlse In his resting expression, lie
vas, of course, disheveled when I saw
dm and his collar less of a collar than
Jwet bandage, and that may have
lelped to bridge the natural gulf be
ween us. Hut of that, as 1 say, later.
,Tlie btisiue-s began at nithergate-oti
en, anil simultaneously with Mr. Led
etter's summer vacation. Thither he
ame for a greatly needed test, with a
fight brown portmanteau, marked
F." V I-.." a new white ami black
traw hat and two pahs of while tlan
el)troiiser-. He was naturally ehll
rated at lijs release from school, for
ejwas not xcry fond of the boys be
night. Afier dinner lie fell Into a
Iseiisslnn wltli a talkatlxe person es
tUlMicd in the hoarding house to
fijcli, ailing on the ndxico of hi
illlt he hail resoi-ied. This talkative
eni i was I lie oiil, other man in the
oilsi. Their di-i-u-ioli i-om ei lied the
leluuchul.i diaipe,iraui e of wonder
J5 ndxcutiiic in these latter days Hr
resilience of glebe trotting, the aboil
ou of dlstaii'-c by sienm and olootrlel
rjtho xulgarity of advertisement, the
egrnilatioti of men of civilization and
lany such things. Particularly was
ic talkative person eIo(iieut on the
eeay of huniaii courage through se
irlty. a security Mr. I.edbetter rather
loughtlessly Joined him In deploring
if? I.edbetter. In the llrst delight of
mancipation from "duty" and bem
uxlous perhtips to establlsli a reputu
S& fC- -liKnilji conviviality, partook
ithcr more freely than was advlsabli
rjthe excellent whisky the talkative
irsou produced. Hut ho did not be
me Intoxicated, he Insists. He was
mply eloiiuent beyond his sober wont
ad with the liner edge gone from his
idgmeni And after that long tall.
'Jtlio bnive old days that were g
irever ho went out Into moonlit II Kb
Sato alone and up the clllt road
here the xdlas cluster together
He had bewailed and now, tis he
Sliced up the silent road he still be
ailed, the fate that had called him to
icli an uneventful life as n pedn
jgiie's. nat a prosaic exlsleiice he
d," so stagnant, so colorless! Secuie.
ethodlcal, year In, year out, what call
as there for bravery? He thought
ivlously of thoo roving, medla-val
I
I
lys, so near and so remote, of quests fabric of bead curtalu, very black and
m spies ami condott er and innnv a snarp ngaiusi u luriuer wiiioow. n
ny blade drawing business. And
Aldeuly came a doubt, u strange
iUbt, springing out of some chance
lought of tortures nnd destructive al
fether of the position he had assum
llthat evening. Was he-Mr. Led
ittor-really, after all, so brave as he
LAt,,.,r..l ... , . , ,, . . B W li II J Ultl IUL- nill IUIU IUI. uuuov. tux
F? h J T ri'?. ' S" VV!" f" nolselessly-on a mat of skin.
v,i, I?"w?y-P0"ci,' ' -'. He was a burglar Indeed!
2 Vi , M",,k;'J; "' !'' He crouched for a time, all ears and
Mtaikatu- iiuiu had snoken einlous n...
rif .,, i peering eyes, uuimill! wi'ip B n.-aiunv
The burglar," he said. ,
ji" Iho mil - 1 lug lion iiisuiUK, uuu iui u mwiuvui
ith Th nb V , l", ", r , 1 , 1 be repented of hi enterprise. A short
- V O CWIIf,!- Iltl UWll 1
tbt-agalnst the whole civilized I
rid!" And Mr. I.edbetter had echo
lbls envy "They do have some fun !
K of life," Mr. I.edbetter had said ;
d are about the only people who do
ml think bow It must feel to wire a ,
fnl" And he had kiughcd n i. k
j .Now In this franker Imb
itf communl.jn i.e found himself lu-; law. aud ibquirt the way he had come.
Kuliug a comparison between his , He peered alsmt him. and suddonlT
u brand of courage and that of the , the critical spirit arose again. Hur
Oiltual criminal. He tried to meet ' rlars did far more than such mere ele
fe insidious questioning, with blank mutary entrance as this. They went
ertion "l coutd do all that." said , Into rooms, they forced safes. Well,
r Ledbetter "I loug to do all that i he was not afraid. He could not force
aly I do not give way to my criminal safes because that would be a stupid
tpulses. My moral courage restrain want of consideration for bis 'bouts,
e." Hut he doubted, even while be Hut he would go Into rooms; he would
Id himself these things. ' go up stairs. Moreover, he told himself
Mr. lslbetter passed a large villa 1 that he was perfectly secure. An unp
undlng by itself t'ouvenleutly sit ty house could not lie more reassuring
i ted aU.ve a tuite practicable bal y still
uy wus a window gaping bluc-k. Ho Lad to . Iini h his bauds never
ide i.pcu, At the time he scarcely the!, ss and summon all bis resolution
V A A. .A .A. .A.- --.A. A. .A. --.A. .A. -
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1 IIl'S B
BY H. C. WELLS.
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Mr friend Mr. I.edbetter Is n stout, marked It, hut tin- picture or 11 rami
with him. wove into his thoughts n,
llgtirod himself climbing itp thai but
cony, crouching. plunging Into thai
dark, mysterious Interior. "Huh! ou
would not dare." said the snlrit of
doubt. "My duty to my follow men for
bids." said Mr. I-edbetter's self respect.
It was nearly 11, and the little sen-
ays, an elaborate clearness of eniuicl-, side town was already very still. The
whole world slumbered under the
moonlight. Only one warm oblong of
window blind far down the road spoke
of waking life. He turned ami came
back slowly toward the villa of the
open window. He stood for a time
outside the gate, a battletleld of mo
tives. "I,et us put things to the test,"
wild doubt. "1'or the satisfaction of
these Intolerable doubts show that you
dare go Into that house. Commit a
burglary in blank. That, at any Kite,
Is no crime." Very softly he opened
Mini shut the fate and slipped Into the
shadow of the shrubbery. "This Is
foolish." said Mr. I.edbetter's caution.
"I expected that." said doubt. His
heart was beating fast, but he was
icrtaiuly nut afraid. ' He was iiot
afraid lie remained In that shadow
for some considerable time.
The ascent of the balcony It was el
dent would have to be dune In a rush,
for It was all In clear moonlight and
visible from the gate Into the avenue.
A trellis thinly set with young, ambi
tious climbing root's made the ascent
rid culoiisly easy There In Hint black
shadow by the Moiic vase of Mowers
one might crouch and take a closer
view of this gsiplng breach in the do
mestle defenses, the open window. I'oi
awhile Mr I.edbetter was as still as
the night, ami then that Insidious w ills
ky lipped Hie balance. lie dashed for
ward lie went up the trellis with
ipllek. convulsive movements, swung
his legs over the parallel of the balcony
i 1 1 1 dropped, panting. In the shadow,
even as lie had designed. He was trem
bling violently, short of breath, and his
heart pumped noisily, hut his mood
was exultation. He could bine shout
ed to lliiii lie was so little afraid.
A happy Hue that he had learned
from Wills' "Mephlstopholo.s" came In
to bis mind as be crouched there. "1
feel like a cat on the tiles." He whis
pered It In himself. It was far better
than he had expected this adventur
ous exhilaration. Ho was sorry for
all poor men to whom burglary was un
known. Nothing happened. He was
quite safe. And he was acting In the
bravest manner!
And now for the window to make
the bumlary complete! Would he dare
to do that' Its position above the
front door dellned It as a landing or
passage, and there were no looking
glasses or any bedioom signs about II
Very m'tly lie lljcd Into the sluiduw til
the bhntblicru
or nt.y other on the llrst- tloor to sug
gest the possibility of n sleeper within.
Tor a time he listened under the ledge,
tUcn raised his eyes above the sill and
peered in. close at hand on a pedestal
and a little startling at llrst was a
nearly life size gesticulating bronze.
He ducked, and after some time ho
peered ngn n. Hcyond was a broad
landing faintly gleaming, a tllinsy
broad staircase plunging Into a gulf ol
darkness below and another aBcendlni;
to the second floor, fie glanced behind
him, but. the stillness of the night wa
unbroken "Crime," he whispered
"crime," and scrambled softly and
....... V.n ..III lt.n V.n l.r.,,c.t II, a
miaow." a spitting and a rush Into
silence spoke reassuringly of cats. Ills
coinage grew. He stood up. Kvery
one was abed, It seemed. Ho easy Is
It to commit a burglary If one Is so
minded. He was glad he had put It
lo the test. He determined to take
tome pretty trophy, Just to prove tils
freedom from nny abject fear of the
-' - - 1 - ' .l-,
before he beean ery softly to ascend
the dim laitxase. pausing for several
seconds . tweeu each step. Above was
a squat 1 landing with one open and
several loed doovs, and all the house
was stili Km a moment he stood won
dering hnt would happen If some
sleeper woke suddenly and emerged.
The open door showed a uiooullt bed
room. Hie coverlet white and undis
turbed. Into this ruotn he crept lu
three Interminable minute and took a
piece of soap for Ids plunder his tro
phy. He turned to descend even more
softly than lie iiceiideil. It was ns
eay as Hist:
Footsteps on the grand outside the
house and then the noise of a latch
key, the yawn and bang of a door ami
the spitting of a match In the ball be
low! Mr. I.edbetter stood pet rilled by
the sudden dlscoiery of the folly upon
which he had come. "How ou earth
am I to get out of this?" said Mr. I.ed
better. The hall grew bright with a candle
tkltuc. some hcav object bumped
against the umbrella stand, and feet
were ascending the staircase. In a
tlash Mr. I.edbetter realized that his
retreat was closed. He stood for a mo
mem. a pitiful llgure of penitent con
fusion "Mj goodness! What a fool
I have bein!" he whispered and then
darted swiftly across the shadowy
lauding iuio tin- empty bedroom from
which be had Just come. He stood lis
tening quivering. The footsteps reach
ed the llrst (loot- landing.
Horrible thought! This was possibly
the late comer's room! Not a moment
was to be lost! Mr. I.edbetter stooped
beside the bed. thanked heaven for a
ala lice ami crawled within Its pro
tection not ten second1' too soon He
became motionless on hands and knees.
The advancing candlelight apirearcd
through the thinner stitches of tin lb
rlc. tlie shadows ran wildly about ami
became rigid as the caudle was put
down
Lord, what a day!" said the new
comer, blowing noisily and seeming to
deposit some heavy burden on what
Mr. I.edbetter, judging by the feet, de-
elded to be a writing table. The tin
seen then went to the door and locked
li. examined the fastenings of the win
dows carefully and pulled down the
blinds and, returning, snt down upon
the bed with startling ponderosity
'What a day!" he said. '(5ood
Lord!" and blew again, and Mr. Led-
better Inclined to believe that the per
son was mopping his face. His boots
were good stout boots, the shadows
of Ills legs upon the valance suggest
ing a formidable stoutness of aspect.
After a time lie removed some upper
garments a coat and waistcoat, Mr.
Ledbettcr Inferred -and, casting them
over the rail of the bed, remained
breathing les noisily and. as It seem
ed, coollnc from a considerable tem
pera tun-. At Intervals he muttered to
himself, and once he laughed softly.
And Mr. I.edbetter muttered to him
self, but he did not laugh. "Of all the
foolish things!" said Mr. Ledlietter.
"What on earth am 1 to do now?"
to hi: contini'i:!).
Iter SiirrlMee.
The Kev. ryrus 'I'. Ilriuly says lu hli
book of missionary reminiscences:
was once preaching about missions.
urging the cungicL'utlou to make some
saeiltice for the missionary cause- ami
Indicating lo them several methods by
which thej could follow my advice.
Among other things I suggested that
they refrain from purchasing any book
which they very much desired and do
nate the mono to me Instead for my
missionary work I happened to have
perpetrated a book myself.
"You will therefore understand my
feelings when a very bright woman In
the i otigrcgatlnn came up to me and
handed me $1 with the remaik, I had
Intended to buy your book and read It.
Mr llraily. but I have concluded to fol
low your ml vlct and give you the mon
ey for missions instead.'
"I accepted the situation gracefully
and told her I would lend her my own
copy of the book to read. She smiled
iinl thanked me, and as she did so I
voiced my thought lu this way, 'Hut
after all Mrs. It., there does not seem
to be any sacililce ou your part In this
transaction, for you have the happy
consciousness of having given the mon
ey for missions and vet have the book
as well.
" 'No sacrillce?' she replied. 'Why, I
have to read the book!' "
Him lln llu rint-ni- ."ilnkt lire.
One day a Hurmcso messenger
brought me a note. While he was wait
ing for the reply, I observed nn object
something like a boy's popgun sus
peudeil aiininil Ids waist. On asking
what It was be showed me that It was
an Implement for producing lire. II
was a rude example of n scleiitltlc In
struuient employed by lecturers at
home to Illustrate the production of
heat by suddenly compressed nlr. A
piston tltted into the tube; the former
was hollowed at the lower end and
smeared with wax to rece've n piece
of cotton or Under, which when press
ed into It adhered. The tube was clos
is I at niie nd liming the piston al
the top of the tube, with n smart blow
he struck It down ami Immediately
withdrew It with the tinder on lire, the
sudden i-iiiiipiesslou of the air having
IgnltisI It I was so much struck with
the scleiitltlc Ingenuity of this rude
Implement that I procured it fiom the
Hiirmnii and sent It to the Asiatic so
i lety of Hetigal. with n short descrlp
Hon of Its uses. "Itccollcctlous of Mj
Life." by Surgeon General Sir Join
Payer.
I iiilertmik Tito Much,
"George." said Mrs. 1'erguson, "fot
heaven's sake stialghteu up! You're
worse hump shouldered (ban ever."
"Lauiii." retorted Mr. Ferguson, "tie
satlslled with having married me tc
reform me. When you try to roHhnpt
me, you nte undertaking too mueh."
chicago Tribune
At the time of the Human occupation
of Hritaln five distinct species of dogs
were there, most of which can with
certainty lw Identified with those of tht
prcwiit day. There were the house
dog. the greyhound, the bulldog, tie
terrier and the slow hound.
f'omfort miw iters are beautiful Hull
tniuuis or ernes of courage and good
cbcer. written mi small papers and roll
ed up like puw dficd medicines. One li
to be unrolled, read ami enjoyed each
ajornluz Kach ono Is a mystery uutll
Its turu cotui-s nd the surprise U t
part of the pleasure.
A XfGHT UK SOBJtlNG.
MRS. GALLUP LAMENTS THAT HER
TIME N EARTH IS SHORT
She llpnril tlif Summon, to un llrndr
lu lip nti Angrl Hinl Itiul n Little
TtU With Mr. (inline At. out Wboin
He Should Srlccl 1'ur l Srrouil
(Copyright, ! t- II LcH.J
After supper Mr. tlallup had gone
cwr to the Htore for a whetstone and
paper of carpet tacks, and as he went
Mrs. Gallup was washing up the dlshe
and singing "The Home Over There
with great feeling. Ho returned In
half an hour, and as he reached the
kitchen door the sound of sobbing met
his ears. He looked lu to tlud Mrs
tftillup weaving back and forth ou
chair with her check apton at her eyes,
Something had happened. He didn't
Inquire what It was, but turned about
and sat on the doorstep and In nn ab
sent way began sharpening n sickle
wltli the stone he had bought. It was
live minutes before Mrs tiallup volun
teercd an explanation. When she saw
that he had neither anxiety nor svm
pathy. she hitched her chair Into the
doorway, used a flesh spot on the
apron to v, Ipe her eyes and tlualk said
"Samuel, when you've got thai sickle
Mint pencil you might go oor to Mrs.
lichee's ami tell her that I shall be a
dead woman before tomorrer. You
'(UT IIKAI1 TO III N ANoKt.
needn't beai around the bush at all,
but tell her right out She'll rather lie
epeeiin the news. She was over here
this afternoon, and she said 1 was llu
ble to git my summons at any time
l'c got it all arranged with her about
the Mineral
Mr. Gallup did not look around. With
calm deliberandi he spat on the whet
stone, and with calm deliberation he
drew It bad; and forth across the
blade.
"Yes, Samuel, my time has come!"
sobbed Mrs. Gallup after walling a
reasonable time for him to speak. "A
few hours hence and you will be a
widower, ami a few days hence you
will be wen ling a red necktie and can
lerln around aftera second wife. When
you started over town, 1 was as happy
as a lark and hadn't the slightest idea
of ilyin. Ten minutes later when I
went to carry the butter down cellar
there came seven knocks ou tint emp
ty elder bari. and as 1 stood there
slinkln I heard a whlspeied voice a-say-lu.
ilauuer Gallup, git ready to be an
angel!' It was my summons, and I've
got to go Nobody kin hold buck agin
a summons What kind of a second
wife shall you marry. Samuel?"
Mr. Gallup had paused In his labors
and was looking absently at a robin In
a cherry ti
"You needn't feel at nil dellklt about
tut I; In It over Willi mo," said Mrs. Gal
lup as sin dabbed at her eyes with thu
apron. "I've alius s'pectctl you'd git
married agin If I should die, and I
shan't howl and squeal about It. Mrs.
Itebee says If her husband marries
Bg'ln she'll haunt him, but you needn't
be afraid of me. I'd rnther you mar
ried agin. If you didn't, you'd be goln
to circuses ami dogllghts and candy
pulls nnd become its wicked us Silas
Johnson. S'pose you'e klndei had
your eye out, hei'n't you. Saiiiuel
that Is, you've kinder iniide up your
mind about what sou of a woinaii
you'd marry?"
.Mr. Gallup withdiew Ids gaze from
the tobln and letiirneil to his work of
sharpening the sickle, and -Mrs. Gal
lap's nose had grown er led with the
pulling when she continued
"There's the Wldder l.tiplmm. Sam
uel, and eieiybuily says she's until
f'J.bCX), Imt I wouldn't want you to mar
ry her. She's loo Idly illy for a man
of your age While sin- was swiuglii
lua hammock she'd let the bteail burn
up lu the oteii. Shu'd waul you to go
off to a picnic every day III the year
uud If you had any soft soup in the
house you'd hev to buy II And tlien V
thu Wlddei I m vis. She's a good house
keepci. Samuel, as I'll admit, but they
ay sho glis streaks on. One day she'll
I'C laughln and giggllu all day long, ami
the next day she'll bo ns sulky as a
mule. She kin make a ound of tea
go ns fur ns I klu. but she told me
with her own month that sho had four
pairs of stocklu's last year. Could you
put up with slch extia vngance as that.
Samuel? Wouldn't you be tblukln of
how I alius got along on two pairs a
year?"
Mr. Gallup whistled softly to himself
ns be felt of the edge of the sickle with
his thumb. The whistle conveyed no
direct Itifot matloii. but was a whistle
lu the nbsttaet. Mrs. Gallup looked Ml
thu back of Ms neck for a moment and
worked up nnd chokisl buck a sob nnd
Ihcn said:
There's I'lmiie Cousins, whom ev
erybody likes, but she's nn old maid
and sot In ln-r ways She ueei I .in I.
bites nor gits mail, but she huiii
rythlng Jest so If you cuiue into u
ouse nnd t browed join hut down
thu tloor cr pnlbl your boots off In the
parlor In the ftenln, shod raise the
uwfulest kind of a row. I guess you'll
her to marry a gal. Siimind. .on are
old 'nuff to be the father of any gal
around here, bui I don't see no other
way. Ilev you got any perllckler gal
la mind? I was ihluklu of hue habit)
the other day. She '.'0 years old and
a great hand P Hoik, mid inobbe you'd
be happy with her Her mother says
Sue likes U be iM-iu-d. You'e never
U'clted me bu ti" bbe you'll change
"hen I hid gone No. Samuel, I can't
I remember a time m '.'7 years when
dm"
ji t ,
vuu've pulled my ear or pa'leil n
the fhouider or poked me In the ribs.
I- I" -
The remembrance that there had
been no shoulder patting or ear pullluK
during all those loug years brought n
fresh outburst of cuiotlou, und for two
minutes Mrs. Gallup sobbed bitterly
Mr. Gallup laid down the whetstone
and the sickle and picked up the paper
of tacks and balanced It on the point
of his linger, but he was oblivious of
Ills surroundings.
"I I don't complain, Samuel," said
Mrs. Gallup when she could control her
voice again. "When 1 saw that you
wis mi hand to pet, 1 let It go. I'm old
and wrinkled nnd scrawny, nnd I can't
look fur petlln. It will be different
with a cal. however. If you don't pull
her ear at least one a week nnd call
her augel. she'll git sulky aud dually
run awny with n tin peddler. Mrs
Hebee was savin that Hertha Williams
would make a good gal wife fur you.
and Mrs. Wllllums says ibat you could
not do better than to marry Mary
Hawkins, but I ain't goln to pick out
nobody fur you nor tlnd fault with
your choice All I'm goln to do Is to
die and become an angel nnd let you
do Jest as yon want to. I've got Jest
one leelle favor to nsk."
The lump lu her throat and the tears
In her eyes cheeked her speech for
half a minute, and during that time
Mr Gallup iut the lacks down ami
lifted up the sickle again
"It's only this. Samuel. You needn't
do no weepln fur me when I'm gone.
nnd you needn't hang oxer the gate
nun try to loon all oroke up over my
loss "ion kin co right to playln check
ers as soon as the funeral Is over, but
some night, later on, when you are nil
alone In the house and the crickets
nre sltigln. I waul you to remember
Mia: I bad my good pints as well as
un bad I want you to remember that
I used a doilies bller with sex en holes
In Hie I iot 1 1 1 1 1 fur nine years without
iiieiidlii and thai I hain't had a new
ousel fur ioxen years. Our teakettle
Is oxer li years old, ami I've made one
set of cups ami sassers last us since
xve was married That's all, Samuel,
Hid now I'll go in and die, and von kin
be lookln aiiiund fur your second
wife!"
She rose up xxith a sob and retreated
Into the house, but Mr. Gallup kuexv
nothing of it He hung the sickle on
1 nail near the (lour, put the whetstone
Hid lacks on a shelf in Hie wood shed.
"lid II walked down tl ath ami
losed the henhouse door and cast a
look Into the pig pen When he its
turned to the house, Mrs. Galltin xvas
looMna at her bowl of emptyings under
the -hue and humming the air of "I
Want to He an Angel." She had had
her latueiitatl ml got over It. and It
would be three or four days before she
would break out again. M. qr.wi.
WHY HE LIKES MUSIC.
I'l-J sleliui Win,,,- lti-iitiilliiii ns h
( i lllc XX ii. IIIiisIpiI,
There's a physician In Baltimore who
nil. ues music. Ills laste. lo be sure,
runs lall'er to "Old Hlack Joe," "Sit-
Minimi Hl-.er' and such classics, but
till any sort of music will do. and lie
listens in it nil ecstatically and xxith a
pn peily Intelligent look ou his face.
It w.-is llieiefiue believed that he had
a inn- liute for harmony, and bis repu
tation as a ctillc xvas established and
grew apace as reputations will, good or
bad.
The other cloning as his daughter
approached the house In which this
physician lived she heard the strains
if "Huiiie. Sweet Home." uroceedliii:
from Hie llbiarx
I'alher's at It again," she said to
herself softly "I wonder who he has
iieiced Into playing for him noxv?"
glance disclosed the fact that he
had bribed three stteet musicians, two
lollnlsts and a harpist into giving
hint a ptivalc iccllal They Mulshed
the air Just as the young woman enter
d. and the physician turned to bet
with a beaming face. "That '.Nearer.
My God. to Me,' is a beautiful thing
Isn't II?" I skod
It was the llrst tittle he hail commit
eil himself oil the subject of "times.'
iinl Ills glory began to diminish from
that moment, for his daughter told the
iii'lilelit as what sin. considered an ex
llellt Joke
Now the xi'orth.x man says that he
likes music solely us nil Incentive to
thought ami listens to It when he wish
s to solxe some knotty problem of nr
Icry or bones. Just ns those xvbo suffer
froin Insomnia go to church and listen
lo tile sermon to be ;ci In sleep. -Haiti
more .News
I'hI I'lillct-mril,
Have you exer noticed that nearly
all policemen get fat?" asked a man
xxiio keeps bis eyes open. "This would
seem to dlsproie the theory that walk
lug lu the open nit Is u means of red ue
lilt: supeiiliiolls weight. I have known
nexv policemen lo start ou their beats
xvetglilug no more than l-.i pounds. In
six mouths they would Hp the scales at
lo'l and lu a xcar reach the 'JiiO marl;.
It must be the slow sauntering In the
open air thai does It. for I have noticed
Ibat while policemen grow fat Ibe
house sergeants, w ho are conlltieil to
the stations, ale Invariably Iblit. Those
xvbo patrol the streets gain, the maxi
mum weight In about three years. The
muscles then harden, and despite their
apparent burden of Mesh the men usu
ally develop grout actlxlty One of the
best runners ninl Jumpers I knoxv Is a
iiilleemaii who xvelglis nearly ,'h)
iiouihIs."- I'bi uli'lphlu Itei 1
I'hi-biiii'm I'iiii.
writer in The Cniuhlll Magazine
Tcdlts the late Canon Hlnghain with
the following bit of wit:
He was driving one day xxith otlnt
clergy to h clerical meeting, when tin
conversation turned upon the meaning
of the txvo places ihel were Hearing.
Wool and Warchitui. in the county of
!orsct.
How do you account for the origin
of these names. Canon Hliighniiir ask-
ed one of the party.
"Don't you knoxv this Is a sheep coun
ty," replied the canon, "and at Wool
you xvool the sheep anil at YXiirclinm
you wear 'em?"
olll friend Gloolnc Imiists that tils
wlfi
Is I
college lirisl XX IIHI llirillll 117
nllcgi
bred, anyway?'
"M
bbe It's the stun tin) learn to
mnki
nt cooking school " Kx haiige.
i ( llrsi hcok ever printed In
Hwlt-
jednud beam (tie date of 1-iTU.
Drus Now Give Way
to Animal Tissue
liven Consuimptlon, l.pllcpsy nnd
Sonic l:ormrt of Inniinlty
ti i'c Now Ctirtitile
A new em in (lie treatment of certain
dlscacs Is at hand. The results are so
definite ami positive as to command
Immediate recognition from physicians
as xxell as laymen. In the ttexv treat
ment drugs jrvt' xvuy to animal tissues
in solution. It Is not administered
through the stomach but Isliijirledinlo
the circulatory system. The lymph
Used Is extracted from the lymphatic
glands of live gouts. The goat Is select-
(sl for the reason that he Is the ItarillcM
and healthiest of nil animals. He cm
not even be Inocillatut xxith coiistmi
Hon or microble diseases, hs hlghlv
xilullcd system tlimwilig oil' bacilli
without cll'iut. Then again old age pro
duces the least olt'ect oil his organs und
tissue mill degenerate illcuses are seldom
If. 'X'er found luhls ImmIv. Little marvel
then that the dally Injection of a solu
tioti of the lymphatic glandsof thegoat
Into a weakened human system put
leslstllig qualities lulu It and stimulates
the activity of cell life, Isdh dispelling
disease and putting substance Into th
structure. An hilt-resting proof of tin
action of the lymph is shown by the
fact thai old niiiuials who have Ihvii
Itealcd become active, quicker and
more agile in their movements. )
thigtilslied physicians in many places
have taken hold of the new lymph and
for Ihe benefit of the profololi (he re
stills of their experiences are lielng tuli-
tilatcd. I hiring three years up to Kch,
llrst over nineteen hundred cases had
Ihvii treated in the Culled Slatesalone
Of this number 7"i percent were o called
incurable diseases ami 1 1 percent III (lit
last stages. The averages of their ages
was oil yea tx. ( Inly two of Ihe uiinilie
(lied although according to the tables
of mortality dl! should have died within
thothrco years. In vlexv ofthe percent
nge of Ineiinihles at least IIS should have
died. Hut unto the astounding rc-ull
tin1 failures wcichtil 7j per cent, whili
IMi percent xvere greatly bcmiltteil nnd
117 per cent xxck inplele cures. The
urcs Include many consumptives ami
many eases of rheumatism, paralysl
pllcpsy, ami locomotor ataxia. Aside
from the marvel that consumption mid
paralysis are ul last curative the dl-
covery was ulaile (lint certain hum
of Insanity readily yield to II
I'lio positive uud stnitlhig reulls
nre profoundly Impressing. I,. It
Sluhleiii .M. I), a very promiitenl
Knsteru expert, who has been making
11 special sltuly of the nexv lymph uud
bus administered it to htmilrcdsol' cases
successfully, has recently opened 11
lymph Institute in San I'raiici-co
al lt!H Kearney HI, Kttll Information
(intaliiliig laliitlatioiis ami other re
cords of cases by mail to physicians and
others Inquiring. Dr. Stalilcln ha-
pioiul-eil the rocnnls of some Interest
lug cures of consumption for these col
limns for future issues.
K l ip 1'or the Wter,
They It d 11 good many Jokes about
Kentucky colonels uud their natural
aversion to water." said 11 fat drummer
In Ihe hotel corridor the other night,
"but the itchcst thing In that line I ever
know to come off lu real life happened
over In Alabama when old man llrlggs
xvas trying to sell Ids summer hotel,
llrlggs bad a pretty piece of property
lu the Alabama highlands, and Its star
feature xvas a uutgulllcciit big spring
that welled Into 11 sort of basin uud
was as cold ns Ice nil the year round.
lie nun goon prospects or minting 11
popular lesort out of the place, but ho
got the California fever and offered It
at 11 saiiltlee to a race horse man from
Kentucky who had an Idea thai he xwis
(ill out for a landlord.
"The race horse mini was a typical
K in I iKi.x colonel of the old school uud
II Illlghl.X line fellow, lie entile doxvil
lo look oxei Hie gloliud III person, uud
Hiiggs stinted out with him lo point
out Ihe principal attractions At last
they came in Hie famous spring 'This,
colonel,' ii 11I Hi lugs, stopping al tin
dine of the basin 11 in I swelling xxith
pride, is a wonderful natural reservoir
of iryslal pi 10 water. Inexhaustible In
volume and a ' cold In temperature. II
Is ituiloublcilly the lliu-st spring In the
south '
" 'Hum in m!' grunted Ihe isiloiiel,
sizing up the bubbling pool, i reckon
I'll have 10 have this hole tilled un It
xe close noi deul. Mr. llrlggs.'
" iilleil up!' exclaimed Hiiggs lu hor
ror " 'Hi s. soli ' replied the colonel cnlni
l.x Vol' c I'm Hot a-calenlalln on
keeping 1111,1 -lick oil the place.'"
,N'ew 1 '. li .it's i linen-Democrat.
X III. I. o.'s lleliirl.
At 11 dl't .ci i, a t.x a young mnii was
once lalM'i: inlhel foolishly about
Darw lu ci il hi- Looks, and he said to
the blsle.p, 1 Winchester (Wilbei force).
"My bud. luixe you read Darwin's last
book mi lln- Descent of Man?' " "Yes,
I hiiio" sii'd the bishop, whereupon
Ihe 1 1 1 1 1 - mail continued: "What non
sense II talking of 0111 being du
scuniled from iim's! Heshhm, I can't
see I In' use of sin II stull. I can't see
XV bal dlrtireine II would make lo mo II
my mamirathei xvas an ape."
"Nn" the li shop replied; "I (lull'! sec
(hut It mi. eld Hut It must have made
an nmaiug iliilerence to your grand
mother'"
The .v-iuiig mnii had 110 more to say.
Ill-Kill llttll SU,.
"I have bin silling ou Ihe porch
listening to 1I.1- sighing of Hie wind."
she said seiiiiioiilially by way uf e.
planniioii of her limy absence from ih'
illlllM-
"Ves: I lieii.d lilni sltsh." proiiipll)
pill lu Hie oltlll boy
"I I Int V Who.'" demanded the hciul
Of the hdllseliold
"Win Hun 01111,1 fellmv you alxviiy
said xmis n a inn - i.ui xx liul." uusxvcrci!
Ihe box Vinl 1 1 I- was the secret be
tiuvcd Chiiauo I'osl
BLAKE. 1 '""PO'itrsunil Pouters Id
MOFFITT tZ'i
& TOWNE wpflppia...
un 1 OAFID STOCK
STltAW AND 1IINDKRS' IIOAHt)
3.-S-17-MI-H First St.
Tt. Mils 100. 1 SAN FltA.M.isCO
the: eUk""
520 Uush .Street, Sim Pi'iiiicIhou
VWeljr f'H' O - il p mi i-y th- e.., x-.ci-U or
mouth, en u.'. or s ogle nt rciliicnl rates
House Ibort 'igtoy n-mwiiteil No tutus will lie
simreil lo iimsc visitors from the country totlm
city roinlortnlito nuil nt tunic iluutitr tin irstuy
TiiKt'Sutir- s'ri" t i ixrs nt fi-rr, liouliun
MItH. P ItANlT l'iMir.ctor
AD COLDS.
tjuitoiic ,-. toy urs Oftmiil t olds do not imiv
h:ixn to l.e I'tidmid MiMiKt s Uv.vxxiii T.xii
I'l.Es lulled iljtuunu' fiom iluir fiicrs'jri ciowd
l ne.-k s (iiduairy lieiiliueul Into IJ liours mid
iilwrt ilm xxorst of colds ox cr ulgiit.
"It whs tint worst cuso of Kris I exer hud. A
hull do., n trlends had so 10 cures. Still It huim
ou. Ileiird of thu Hvn.ixiic T.x.nri,KH. To my
iitimrnmcut they stojUMsl tsith cnhl tt ml coupli
the llrst ulKht. I endorse and iccuiiilii, lid
llii'in to the people " II.xkci.av HlM.KV, I'.t
Mt'intH-r ('onvress und Atinrncy lilt Sums, nut
Sin-el. S.01 f'ninclsro. J ily 7, Itmi
"Winter cold limn iilunys Is-en serlou
tlnns lo 1110. They me laird nnd sluv fo
inenlhs Hut the lust xxns slopped suddenly
by MkMiKi.'s lx N xxne I'Aiil'l.l-s. llolh wius'li
mid cold disappeared In 11 couple of diixs. .So
thlllK elso does tills tor mi' " Mils, V.yl I.
lloi.i.ix, II Moss St , Sun Kriiniisco. Aug.il, HI
" I III ti ill-loss the street fiom where Mumo'I.'s
Dx-NiMIc T.xiuil.iM me miide Thnt Is hi. I
tlrst tooli thriu, Thev slop colds w llhout nolti e
I look 11 ile, -a tioves wltli inn for selr uud tilemis
hi'n I went 10 Nome " II, 1,. V.iN XXiNKI.i
1'iiplliillst, :IU7 WnshluKtoii Strwl, S:iu 'ni.
Cisi'O. Almost III, IIHI 1.
Sent isislpald for eeuls lu sliuniis hx
INI.A.Si) llltl'll TO , -.Mil Washington Streul
S,m Kiioi.'Ii-o Also on sulo hy our local iiKeul
C. V. Lowe. Druggist.
Printers'
Snaps.
If ooket. Ncxvk Ciihoh.
We Imvn sexeral hundred p.ilrs ot lliuse
casus. They nro a trlllo smiiller than
full hIio Wero used liy ti lend I UK
dallies herore I, Inn's cauio In. They art
lust thu slru In facllltatu cniniHisflloii
In perfect order Kitty cents per pair f
Vine (iiii'doii tlolihci.
New stylo, ia. second hand, with
lliiiiwnrt; lu llrsl-cliiss cnudltlau, tlan
side hli-.iln tlxturcs and Is 0110 of the
ls'si see. md hand piessim xe hiivi.lntd
fori) lout; 1 1 inc. I lis a simp.
Wcooiid-linml Cyllndci'.
Si. ,'uIuimii qaorlo. Will work IN) an
hour A hurKiilii for 11 country dally
Sonic Hody-imd Dlsplny Type,
lias not seen one month's uso. Somu ol
11 hardly slulned Second-hand prices
PACIFIC STATES TYPE FOUNDRY
f08 Cluy Street, 8.-Is.
Ilrr Kuonteilue of rliliif.u.
A young woman at u xvaterlng plact
one sikuinier made a reputation ns u
proroiiud linguist In a rnther odd man
ner. She called one day nt n (iilneso
laundry where she had left 11 shirt
waist, but It could not be found, uj
there was ho entry lu the book of hiero
glyphs coricspoudlug to her pink slip.
After 11 half hour's senrch the China
man found the entry. A mistake had
been made, so the entry was crossed
out and a new set of hieroglyphs In
tluy characters placed below. She xvus
mid thai Ilm waist would be laundered
Immediately, aud she could get It the
next day.
The next day the young woman call
ed for It, accompanied by three other
young women. At the seayiore the ex
(itemcnt of 11 visit lo the (lillie.se I111111
dry Is not to be despised. The (.iilna
man to whom the pink slip xvas pre
senlcd was not the laillidryiuau of the
ilny before, and he experienced the
same dilllciilty hi finding the Identify
lug chnriicter, dually siiyluc;, "Not In
book."
The gltl answ ered calmly, "I can tlnd
II." and the liiliiamaii allowed her tu
take the bonk. Turning the leaves un
til she came to one that had nn entry
crossed nut with another In tluy char
acters tinder It. she handed It to the
Chinaman "There It Is," and, to til
surprise, lie found It.
'you only lady I knoxv spile Chi
nese," be said. Aud the other glrli
looked tUHiii her with admiration.-
Knusus City World.
Tin- (Mil Time lli.elor,
'When I xxus u joiing fellow," said
the man who notices things, "the fain
Ily physician attended to all the Ills of
the family, and the specialists of the
profession xvere xx holly unknow n. The
country doctor win a surgism as well
as a physician. He xvas almost always
clever mid usually had remedies of his
oxvu invention for common ailments. A
large number of the successful patent
medicines noxv before the public nre
presi rlpf l.uis of ihe old time country
physti bin I could name a doen such.
Did Dr Hill, xvbo xvus the lender In
Ihe town I giexv up lu. xvas called Into
the country by an urgent message one
night He wasn't advised what the
patient xvas suffering from and upon
arrival found It was an ulcerated tooth
(hut xxns subjecting Its owner to al
most unbearable pain. Not a surgical
Instrument did the doctor have with
him. and his otllcc xvas seven miles
Hivny. Did he send back for his In
struments? Not much! He extracted
that tooth xxith an ordinary hammer
and null to the complete satisfaction of
Ids patient ami himself. I'll xvngcr he
made a mighty good Job of It too,"
An t nlimiiUiimr Trick,
lirst Suburbanite- I hear that Koo-
bin's new bull dug up (he ground.
broke down (he fence und lore nearly
eicrylhliig to plccow In (he barnyard
thin morning
Second Suburbanite Yes. Some fel
low went theie early uud fastened 11
pair of red spectacles ou (he nnliurd's
eyes Chicago I rlhlllie.