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About Smoke signals. (Grand Ronde, Or.) 19??-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 1, 2002)
Smoke Signals 11 Native Couples' Course Is About Creating Your Own Love Story The Authors of ''Coming Together in a Good Way; A Native Path to Finding Love" visit Grand Ronde. AUGUST 1, 2002 By Ron Karten Gordon and Pam James come from Native backgrounds that were nonetheless poles apart. Gordon, a Skokomish Indian, was brought up in a family where feelings were kept hidden. Pam's family, of the Colville Tribe, used to fight every thing out. A lot of people suffer when they get the silent treatment. "If she'd give me the silent treat ment," said Gordon, "I'd think, 'that's fine.'" This summer, the couple taught a two-evening Culture 2 Culture Human Growth and Development course in the Tribe's new Education Center. They talked about how to improve behavior within relation ships; how to be more fulfilled in relationships; and while they fo cused on loving relationships, Pam said that the information applies to all relationships. With a sense of humor, these two professionals described many of the little tricks couples play to get un der each others' skin, but maybe more important, they also provided many ideas about how couples find a place in each others' hearts. Through their company, Culture 2 Culture, they give 200-300 work shops a year on the subject. They work all over the U.S. and Canada, and give presentations to Tribal and government groups, casino staffs, and groups of troubled indi viduals and couples. They also work with the state of Washington's Office for Indian Affairs. Their book on the subject is called, Com- II 1 IE?!) cslSl 1 : They Teach Love Pam and Gordon James, the authors of "Coming Together in a Good Way; A Native Path to Finding Love," recently taught a two-day course in Grand Ronde about relationships and how to make them better through understanding. some learned behaviors derived from family situations, what soci ety teaches and the effect of per sonal experi ences. By in corporating Tribal tradi tions, the goal of the classes was to learn to live in both the Native and contem p o r a r y worlds. "We put the tradi tional and the contem porary side by side and ask 'how do we want to move for- ing Together in a Good Way; A Native Path to Finding Love. "I thought it was great," said Junelle Fox, Health and Family Coordinator for the Preschool in the Education Department. "There was a lot of helpful information." As worthwhile as the free work shop was, it drew only a dozen the first night, fewer the second, and virtually all were staffers from the Education Department. The couple talked about trouble- ward?'" said Gordon. The classes encouraged members of the audience to look longer and harder both at themselves and their values, as well as at others and what they value. "We spend more time looking at a car we might want to buy," said Gordon, "than at the person we might want to spend our lives with." The humorous "Application for a Date," started with a note saying: "This application will be incom plete and rejected unless accompa nied by a complete financial state ment, school history, job history, an cestral lineage, DMV printout, and a current medical report from your doctor." Another handout helped attend ees to express their desires intellec tually, physically, spiritually, cultur ally, emotionally, sexually, and fi nancially with suggestions to get the t hinking process going in each of the areas. A third offered "101 Tips for Improving on Love, Romance, Inti macy and Communication." The James's urged the class to be specific about who they are as indi viduals, who they want to be, and what they want in a friend or part ner. With a "bulls eye" chart, Gor don reminded the class about three degrees of compromise that people often leave unexamined. The cen ter marked an area of no compromise. The next circle out represented an area of some compromise. The out side circle showed a place where people allow plenty of compromise. Gordon encouraged members of the class to know which of their personal values fall into which circles. "When you make the relationship (between husband and wife) the priority," said Pam, "everything else falls into place." "It's about creating your own love story," said Pam. Marcia Bolton Visits South Dakota; Presents Tribal Flag for New Monument I SI . J it' " Vy V, .... ,; , - t jr The I 'onh'iier.ilcil Tnlvs tf flu i. W w W r 1 n a Tribal member Marcia Bolton (left) recently presented a Confederated Tribes of Grand Ronde flag to the proposed Crazy Horse monument (right) on behalf of the Tribe. The monument will be located in South Dakota. Photos courtesy of Marcia Bolton M-fl rrit Good Food, Really Fast New food outlets give casino custom ers more options while they play. Having a hard time choosing what to eat at the casino? Well, your decision just got harder. The casino has added two food kiosks to serve you good food, fast. Both are similar, but have different food choices. At "Slot Express" up front near the entrance to the non-smoking area, you can get Chicken wraps and hot dogs. And don't forget "Poker Express" near the poker room at the back of the gaming floor you can choose from a variety of pizza and rice bowls. Both stands serve other smaller fare and provide a number of bever ages that weren't available before. Fork anyone? i .1 4 &r . W V ,- ; V.--"-,.-;''.-i p. f v V - . ..,. A. 4
