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About Spilyay tymoo. (Warm Springs, Or.) 1976-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 25, 1978)
PAGE 4 AUGUST 25, 1978 , From the Parenting Committee------------------------------------------------------------------------- Teaching Children Responsibility Not Easy but Essential Excerpted from Reality Therapy by William Glasser) The teaching of responsi bility is the most important task of all higher animals, man most certainly included. Except for man this task is performed pri marily under pressure of instinct — instinct related directly to the continuation of the species. As' the many instances of abandoned children show, man is not driven by instinct to care for and teach responsibility to his children. In place of instinct, however, man has developed the intellectual capacity to be able to teach responsibility well. Children ordinarily learn by means of a loving relationship with reponsible parents, an in volvement which implies paren tal teaching and parental ex ample. In addition, responsi bility is taught by responsible relatives, teacher, ministers and friends with whom they become involved. The responsible parent cre ates the necessary involvement with his child and teaches him responsibility through the proper combination of love and dis cipline. People who are not at some time in their lives, pre ferably early, exposed intimate ly to others who care enough about them both to love and dis cipline them will not learn to be responsible. For that failure they will suffer all their lives. The words “preferably early” used above are impor tant ; they mean that the younger we are exposed to love and dis cipline the easier and the better , we will learn responsibility. That it can be taught only to the young is not true - responsibility can be learned at any age. Neverthe less, it is easier to learn correctly at first than to overcome pre vious bad learning. Similarly, responsibility should be learned early at home and in school rather than later from a psy chiatrist. Few parents will argue with the statement that many child ren do not learn responsibility easily. Children do not know that Too many of us fail to fulfill what seems easy to them will not our needs because we say no fulfill their needs, so almost from rather than yes, or perhaps later infancy they struggle against the in life, yes when we should say reality that they must learn from no. If I had given in to his their parents how to fulfill their tantrum he would have learned needs. nothing. In his attempts to find Later, when they are old out if I really cared, he judged enough to recognize reality, they me first* by what I did, then by will test their parents with ir what I said. responsible behavior. Through Parents must continually act discipline tempered with love, parents must teach their child responsible when dealing with ren to behave better. The child their children in order to main learns thereby that parents care. tain involvement. Those whose Children want to become re sponsible, but they won’t accept discipline and learn better ways unless they feel the parents care enough to show them actively the (from the Sho-Ban News) responsible way to behave. Wellpinit, Wash. — Editor of For example - the other night the Rawhide Press, Bob May has our five year old son was asked if been terminated from his posi he wanted to use the large tion, allegedly because of his bathtub, which was full, to splash editorial stance he took—often in and play. In his own inimitable conflict with the tribal council. way he said no, probably be On August 2, the council cause he recognized that allow asked for the resignation of May, ing him in the big tub was easier who replied to the council “I for us than filling his smaller tub. realize that the council thinks it líe wanted to assert his inde is doing me a small kindness in pendence of our wishes, a very asking for my resignation rather common but trying five-year old than firing me outright; and I characteristic. appreciate their good intention. Asked again, he repeated his However, after due considera refusal, whereupon his ten-year tion, I have decided not to old sister flew out of her room, shedding her clothes, and popped into the big tub, a real treat for her. Immediately the five-year old started to scream that he really wanted to bathe in it himself. I had to pick up fifty pounds of tantrum and place him in his own tub where he con tinued to wail his protests. When he realized that his complaints were doing no good he became quiet and I went in to talk to him. I said, “Let me give you some advice. Do you know what advice is?” He did, so I told him, “Never say no when you mean yes,” and explained this a little more with several ex amples from previous behavior. Later I heard him telling his grandmother, “Dad gave me some good advice,” and repeat ing what I said with great understanding. actions do not demonstrate re sponsibility to their children lose involvement and raise irrespon sible children who have to test others in the world to try to gain the involvement essential to ful filling their needs. The child who does not learn both by example and instruction will not respect his parents. The parents must under stand that the child needs re sponsible parents and that taking the responsible course will never permanently alientate the child. An appreciation of this simple fact greatly aids parents in teaching their children responsi bility. In summary then, we learn responsibility through involve ment with responsible fellow human beings, preferably loving parents who will love and dis cipline us properly, who are intelligent enough to allow us freedom to try out our newly acquired responsibility as soon as we show readiness to do so. Editor of Rawhide Press Fired resign.” The council later voted to have May fired. Tribal Chair man Alfred Me Coy, when reach ed by telephone responded with an oficial “No comment.” May charged the council with violation of the Indian Civil Rights Act, which provides for a free press. He .also contends the decision was “not in the best interest of the Spokane Tribe.” In a letter to the council, May affirmed his support of the Spokane member’s “right to know”, and said it had clearly been infringed upon. He also suggested in the future, the Tribe should set up an editorial policy board, composed of non-political tribal members. “In summary,” wrote May, “I feel that the Tribal council not only does a disservice to its members and ultimately itself by suppressing news (no matter how bad) or newsmen. I will go down if I have to; but all the time I will keep repeating: “The people have a right to know what is going on.’ The Tribe needs to develop a policy that protects the right, whether I remain here or Cunningham Still Wants to ‘Lift the Yoke' The treaty abrogation bill introduced by Congressman “Jack” Cunningham (R.,Wash.) last year has been revised. The new H.R. 13329 would: - direct the President to abrogate all Indian treaties with in one year of enactment; - phase in the payment of state and local property taxes on former reservation land over a 20 year period; - provide former treaty In dians with transition payments of $100 million a year for five years; and - eliminate the BIA upon enactment. Cunningham staffer Bill Johnson said the legislation seeks to “lift the yoke of federal paternalism off the Indian’s back.” He went on to state that H.R. 13329 “may not be the final answer, but it is a start; it will help get this thing off center,” referring to the treaty rights disputes in various parts of the country. Lost Puppy One female Dachshund, light brown, wearing a blue collar with two bells. She is 3-4 months old and answers to the name of “T.J.” Her sister misses her terribly, so if you find her please call Helena Jones at the Com munity Center, 553-1161, ext. 243 between 8 and 5. Small reward offered. RED RIBBON WINNER — Editor Sid Miller’s winter shot of Mt. Jefferson won him a second prize in landscapes in the Jefferson County Fair photography contest Wanted: Indian Editor Tribal Council Agenda To edit a novel and a tech nical law book. Contact Roberta Aug. 21st-25th Kensler (Tribal Tribune), Box 56, Nespelem, Washington 99155, Aug. 25 (509) 634-4591, ext. 242. Aug. 26 , AFFILIATED TRIBES ANNUAL CONVENTION Spokane COLUMBIA RIVER BASIN FISHERIES ALLIANCE Quarterly Meeting - Kah-Nee-Ta Lodge HATCHERY DEDICATION - Warm Springs Hatchery 9:30 a.m. Posting of the colors Indian Religious Ceremony My sincere thanks to the Introduction of Guests Pi-Ume-Sha Committee for help 11:00 Congress Ullman, Guest Speaker ing me find my lost article and Aug. 28 - Tribal Council Meeting, 9:00 a.m. being friendly and cooperative 1. 1979 Tribal Budgets when I was in Warm Springs for Aug. 29 - Tribal Council Meeting, 9:00 a.m. the Pi-Ume-Sha Powwow in 1. 1979 Tribal Budgets June. Aug. 30 - Tribal Council Meeting, 9:00 a.m. Roberta Kensler 1. 1979 Tribal Budgets Nespelem, Washington Thank You
