PAGE 4 AUGUST 25, 1978 ,
From the Parenting Committee-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teaching Children Responsibility Not Easy but Essential
Excerpted from Reality
Therapy by
William Glasser)
The teaching of responsi
bility is the most important task
of all higher animals, man most
certainly included. Except for
man this task is performed pri
marily under pressure of instinct
— instinct related directly to the
continuation of the species.
As' the many instances of
abandoned children show, man is
not driven by instinct to care for
and teach responsibility to his
children. In place of instinct,
however, man has developed the
intellectual capacity to be able to
teach responsibility well.
Children ordinarily learn by
means of a loving relationship
with reponsible parents, an in
volvement which implies paren
tal teaching and parental ex
ample. In addition, responsi
bility is taught by responsible
relatives, teacher, ministers and
friends with whom they become
involved.
The responsible parent cre
ates the necessary involvement
with his child and teaches him
responsibility through the proper
combination of love and dis
cipline. People who are not at
some time in their lives, pre
ferably early, exposed intimate
ly to others who care enough
about them both to love and dis
cipline them will not learn to be
responsible. For that failure they
will suffer all their lives.
The words
“preferably
early” used above are impor
tant ; they mean that the younger
we are exposed to love and dis
cipline the easier and the better ,
we will learn responsibility. That
it can be taught only to the young
is not true - responsibility can be
learned at any age. Neverthe
less, it is easier to learn correctly
at first than to overcome pre
vious bad learning. Similarly,
responsibility should be learned
early at home and in school
rather than later from a psy
chiatrist.
Few parents will argue with
the statement that many child
ren do not learn responsibility
easily. Children do not know that
Too many of us fail to fulfill
what seems easy to them will not our needs because we say no
fulfill their needs, so almost from rather than yes, or perhaps later
infancy they struggle against the in life, yes when we should say
reality that they must learn from no. If I had given in to his
their parents how to fulfill their tantrum he would have learned
needs.
nothing. In his attempts to find
Later, when they are old out if I really cared, he judged
enough to recognize reality, they me first* by what I did, then by
will test their parents with ir what I said.
responsible behavior. Through
Parents must continually act
discipline tempered with love,
parents must teach their child responsible when dealing with
ren to behave better. The child their children in order to main
learns thereby that parents care. tain involvement. Those whose
Children want to become re
sponsible, but they won’t accept
discipline and learn better ways
unless they feel the parents care
enough to show them actively the
(from the Sho-Ban News)
responsible way to behave.
Wellpinit, Wash. — Editor of
For example - the other night
the Rawhide Press, Bob May has
our five year old son was asked if been terminated from his posi
he wanted to use the large
tion, allegedly because of his
bathtub, which was full, to splash
editorial stance he took—often in
and play. In his own inimitable
conflict with the tribal council.
way he said no, probably be
On August 2, the council
cause he recognized that allow asked for the resignation of May,
ing him in the big tub was easier who replied to the council “I
for us than filling his smaller tub.
realize that the council thinks it
líe wanted to assert his inde is doing me a small kindness in
pendence of our wishes, a very asking for my resignation rather
common but trying five-year old than firing me outright; and I
characteristic.
appreciate their good intention.
Asked again, he repeated his
However, after due considera
refusal, whereupon his ten-year tion, I have decided not to
old sister flew out of her room,
shedding her clothes, and popped
into the big tub, a real treat for
her. Immediately the five-year
old started to scream that he
really wanted to bathe in it
himself. I had to pick up fifty
pounds of tantrum and place him
in his own tub where he con
tinued to wail his protests.
When he realized that his
complaints were doing no good
he became quiet and I went in to
talk to him. I said, “Let me give
you some advice. Do you know
what advice is?” He did, so I told
him, “Never say no when you
mean yes,” and explained this a
little more with several ex
amples from previous behavior.
Later I heard him telling his
grandmother, “Dad gave me
some good advice,” and repeat
ing what I said with great
understanding.
actions do not demonstrate re
sponsibility to their children lose
involvement and raise irrespon
sible children who have to test
others in the world to try to gain
the involvement essential to ful
filling their needs.
The child who does not learn
both by example and instruction
will not respect his parents.
The parents must under
stand that the child needs re
sponsible parents and that taking
the responsible course will never
permanently alientate the child.
An appreciation of this simple
fact greatly aids parents in
teaching their children responsi
bility.
In summary then, we learn
responsibility through involve
ment with responsible fellow
human beings, preferably loving
parents who will love and dis
cipline us properly, who are
intelligent enough to allow us
freedom to try out our newly
acquired responsibility as soon
as we show readiness to do so.
Editor of Rawhide Press Fired
resign.”
The council later voted to
have May fired. Tribal Chair
man Alfred Me Coy, when reach
ed by telephone responded with
an oficial “No comment.”
May charged the council
with violation of the Indian Civil
Rights Act, which provides for a
free press. He .also contends the
decision was “not in the best
interest of the Spokane Tribe.”
In a letter to the council,
May affirmed his support of the
Spokane member’s “right to
know”, and said it had clearly
been infringed upon. He also
suggested in the future, the Tribe
should set up an editorial policy
board, composed of non-political
tribal members.
“In summary,” wrote May,
“I feel that the Tribal council not
only does a disservice to its
members and ultimately itself
by suppressing news (no matter
how bad) or newsmen. I will go
down if I have to; but all the time
I will keep repeating: “The
people have a right to know what
is going on.’ The Tribe needs to
develop a policy that protects the
right, whether I remain here or
Cunningham Still Wants to
‘Lift the Yoke'
The treaty abrogation bill
introduced by
Congressman
“Jack” Cunningham (R.,Wash.)
last year has been revised. The
new H.R. 13329 would:
- direct the President to
abrogate all Indian treaties with
in one year of enactment;
- phase in the payment of
state and local property taxes on
former reservation land over a
20 year period;
- provide former treaty In
dians with transition payments
of $100 million a year for five
years; and
- eliminate the BIA upon
enactment.
Cunningham staffer
Bill
Johnson said the
legislation
seeks to “lift the yoke of federal
paternalism off the Indian’s
back.” He went on to state that
H.R. 13329 “may not be the final
answer, but it is a start; it will
help get this thing off center,”
referring to the treaty rights
disputes in various parts of the
country.
Lost Puppy
One female Dachshund, light
brown, wearing a blue collar
with two bells. She is 3-4 months
old and answers to the name of
“T.J.” Her sister misses her
terribly, so if you find her please
call Helena Jones at the Com
munity Center, 553-1161, ext. 243
between 8 and 5. Small reward
offered.
RED RIBBON WINNER — Editor Sid Miller’s winter shot of Mt. Jefferson won him a second prize in
landscapes in the Jefferson County Fair photography contest
Wanted:
Indian Editor
Tribal Council
Agenda
To edit a novel and a tech
nical law book. Contact Roberta Aug. 21st-25th
Kensler (Tribal Tribune), Box
56, Nespelem, Washington 99155, Aug. 25
(509) 634-4591, ext. 242.
Aug. 26
,
AFFILIATED TRIBES ANNUAL CONVENTION
Spokane
COLUMBIA RIVER BASIN FISHERIES ALLIANCE
Quarterly Meeting - Kah-Nee-Ta Lodge
HATCHERY DEDICATION - Warm Springs Hatchery
9:30 a.m. Posting of the colors
Indian Religious Ceremony
My sincere thanks to the
Introduction of Guests
Pi-Ume-Sha Committee for help
11:00
Congress Ullman, Guest Speaker
ing me find my lost article and Aug. 28 - Tribal Council Meeting, 9:00 a.m.
being friendly and cooperative
1. 1979 Tribal Budgets
when I was in Warm Springs for Aug. 29 - Tribal Council Meeting, 9:00 a.m.
the Pi-Ume-Sha Powwow in
1. 1979 Tribal Budgets
June.
Aug. 30 - Tribal Council Meeting, 9:00 a.m.
Roberta Kensler
1. 1979 Tribal Budgets
Nespelem, Washington
Thank You