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About Eugene register-guard. (Eugene, Or.) 1930-1983 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 1, 1963)
Pe 4A EUGENE REGISTER-GUARD, Tuesday, Jin. 1, 1963 Our Pet Pundit Cocks a Fearless Eye at New Year By A. ROBERT SMITH For the Rt(lstcM3uard EDITOR'S NOTE: Once again our Washington corrtt pondent, with tht benefit of 20-20 hindsight, takes a far lighted glance into his slightly cracked crystal ball to offer a tongue-in-cheek forecast of 19S3 events. . JANUARY An Oregon State Univerity professor finds Oregon's storms end esrth tremors in late 1962 were caused by a ground swell of cold anger at the grass roots concerning Cuba, which encountered a heavy and thick blanket of hot air from politicians, resulting in terrific turbulence. President urges new era of bipartisanship for peace, offers Sen. Barry Goldwater ambassadorship to Katanga. Sen. Everett Sirksen agrees and suggests a purple heart for Adlai Stevenson. Mark Hatfield, offering his theories on coexistence, says: "Wayne Morse and I have had a bipartisan policy for a year to cooperate against such threats to our peace as Sigfried Unander." Congress receives new Kennedy budget of $99.9 billion. Ten Oregon chambers of commerce telegraph Senators Morse and Neubergcr to oppose wild Democratic spending, but to be sure and increase federal payrolls in Oregon. FEBRUARY Attorney General Bobby Kennedy asks Con gress to outlaw paper ballots and aid states to install voting machines. Phil Roth launches campaign to "keep Kennedy machine out of Oregon." Jebby Davidson noted that it was a little late but offers to make Roth's campaign bipartisan. Says Bobby: "Election results were in doubt in too many states for weeks. In my home state, however, we knew who would win way ahead of time. My brothers and I find machines most rewarding." Oregon legislature fails to muster quorum as many law makers return home for "personal reasons." Newsmen dis cover the reason: New expense account crackdown in Internal Revenue has ended freeloading on lobbyists, forcing legislators to pay their own way. By Feb. 15 they were broke. Arthur Flemming makes non-partisan Lincoln Day dinner speeches in Eugene, Salem and Portland, claiming Lincoln saved the Union by stockpiling strategic materials. MARCH Moviemaker Otto Preminger says he'll do Horatio Alger life of Mark Hatfield. In Salem, the governor denies he Inspired it, says he's flattered. Louelia Parsons reports that Travis Cross inspired it, sold Preminger a scenario entitled, "Looking Upward the Mark Hatfield Saga," but Preminger plans to jazz it up, star Elvis Presley, and change title to "Sheik of the Cascades." Antoinette Hatfield flies to Hollywood to protest. Bipartisanship blossoms in State Legislature as legislators return to pass salary increase bill and toss big party for all the lobbyists who have supported them through the lean years. Wayne Morse and Maurine Neuberger help Hatfield by lobby ing for his Increased tax on liquor and cigarettes. APRIL JFK invites Wayne Morse, Edith Green and Mike Kirwan to lunch to review budget for Oregon projects and national aquarium. It features Jackie's favorite recipe for ir reconcilable politicians: Crow currie and humble pie. It's a bust. According to the Saturday Evening Post, one luncheon guest jumped to his feet shouting: "I'm amused at this slick attempt to get me to compromise my principles and eat crow." And another declared: "Ya think I'm gonna let this guy and that woman blab that Kirwan ate humble pie." The first guest demanded: "I want pork, and lots of it." The other chap asked for fish. Mrs. Green insisted on the school lunch, and the President doubled his usual bicarbonate. MAY Republican senators emerge from secret caucus, charge that "The White House palace guard is drunk with power in suppressing news." Arthur Schlesinger is quoted in Life as saying the charge is false because all New Frontiersmen are sober young men who at all times can walk a straight line, which is not only the shortest distance across Bobby's swimming pool but the quickest path between a secret meeting and the President's pet jour nalists. ' - Back from Hollywood and successful negotiation, Mrs. Hatfield says Pat Boone, not Presley, will play governor in the movie, and he will sing three hymns. Congressman Walter Norblad makes his first speech on Capitol Hill in five years in tree-planting ceremony near Taft Memorial. The tree, a middle-aged birch, was sent by Portland's Arlington Club. . . .. JUNE Gallup Poll shows 72 per cent of voters think presi dential and vice presidential candidates should have experience in foreign affairs. Gov. Nelson Rockefeller leaves on trip to Africa, Governer Romney leaves for India and a week of fasting. Governor Scranton flies to Viet Nam. Governor Hatfield sub scribes to the West Coast edition of the New York Times. Postmaster General Day admits new U.N. stamp mistakenly shows Adlai Stevenson standing on head, orders five million printed to avoid making it collector's item. Receives note from JFK: "I've taken up stamp collecting. Send me over a thousand of those." . JULY Maurine Neuberger finished writing new book called "The Women Status Seekers." Deploring discrimination against women office seekers, she rebukes JFK for failure to appoint Edith Green ambassador to any place, and calls on Democrats to nominate a woman for vice president. Denying she is a candidate, the senator flies to Europe with Muffet hidden in a bathing suit bag on her lap. Dr. Edwin R. Durno returns to Washington to head anti medicare lobby. Starts by demanding end of free medical services for congressmen. Says ex-congressman: "While serving in Congress, I had the benefit of a free government physician, free pills and cut rates at a government hospital. I could feel socialism creeping up on me. I don't want this to happen to Bob Duncan much as I like him to save a buck." AUGUST Governor decides to try to balance state budget by taking advice of Howell Appling and Howard Belton on use of prison labor on state jobs. Next day, clerks in offices' of Appling and Belton and Thornton are replaced with convicts hiving office experience safe crackers, forgers and embezzlers. Appling and Belton say they were not consulted but have no objection "as long as it saves money." Thornton sues Hatfield, charging the plan is "unconstitutional because the governor is trying to handcuff the attorney general's office. , . Maurine, after a fortnight in Paris, arrives in Nigeria for one day inspection of Peace Corps. Says she never heard of Senator Ellender and urges ban on all billboards, except of course, no smoking signs. SEPTEMBER Pierre Salinger announces that presidential news conferences on TV will be sponsored hereafter "by public-service-minded organizations" to help balance federal budget. NBC sells time to U.S. Steel, but Roger Blough won't make a pitch for steel price increase. ABC time is sold to GOP National Committee, so Ev and Charlie can interrup JFK for "a few words." CBS says its sponsor will be the Teamsters Union, but Jimmy Hoffa will speak only on behalf of physical fitness and the clean life. Postmaster Day issues a new Cuban freedom fighter stamp mistakenly showing Bay of Figs, then prints 10 million; JFK drops stamp collecting. OCTOBER A University of Oregon professor reports human motivational research shows secret fears or desires can be deduced from a person's favorite songs. Cites examples: Mau rine Neuberger: "Smoke Gets in My Eyes." Wayne Morse: "Drink to Me Only With Thine Ayes." Sig Unander: "Tiger Rag." Terry Schrunk: "Gypsy Love Song." Nelson Rockefeller, Barry Goldwater and Lyndon Johnson: "Rocking Chair." The new "American statesmen" stamp series mistakenly includes Nelson Rockefeller. This time JFK drops Postmaster General Day. NOVEMBER Maurine flies home from Greenland, where she visited an Air For e officers club and won a twist contest. "They misunderstood," she tells reporters in Washington. "I was just trying to keep warm." Hatfield and Preminger hold joint news conference after preview of Hatfield story. Governor thinks Pat Boone too romantic in spots. Preminger afcrees to have Pat put his shirt back on and sing one more hymn. DECEMBER The "Happy Oregonland" Coloring Book reaches book stores for Christmas trade. It tells all about the Queen of Multnomah (color her green) who has taken a few spills on the slippery steps of the royal court (house); and the Queen of the Dunes (color her aquamarine) who lives in a sand castle; and Sir Sigfried (he remains absolutely colorless) who has nothing to govern anymore but his gold reserves. It also tells of the dashing duke named Grenn whom the Queen of Multnomah tried to banish from the court. One night Grenn fell off his horse into the bushes, leaving a damsel in distress., (Color him shocking pink). And all the duke's men couldn't put him back together again. After a thriving two-day sale, the book is banned by the mayor and burned by the fire chief. American Civil Liberties Union becomes so busy protesting the book burning it hasn't time to protest Christmas trees on Portland State campus. Senator Morse says, "While we must all defend civil liberties, , especially freedom of speech, the principle that an outraged citizen has the right to burn bad books is sacred. I've burned a few books myself this past year." Human experience is one year further in debt to its leaders, Specialists in Servicing Living Insurance- Business and Group Insurance Disability Income Protection Estate Planning Retirement Plans Insurance-Saving Programs REX O KESSINGER H. E. (HANK) NILSEN THE EQUITABLE LIFE ASSURANCE , SOCIETY of the UNITED STATES 72 West Broadway Eugene DI 5-8556 L . a I I II 1 ' ' J ANNUAL JANUARY 0 HOME OWNED Plus . ; . a Special Safe of Drugs and Vitamins at Low Discount Prices! 1.19 tlx lS-oi. Listerine 97 (All 4 Stores) 3.77 to 14.95 values. Nor all tizei end colors. Elastic Stockings 50 off (All 4 Stores) 59c stork nipple , ' Glass Nursers 4100 (Downtown Only) 89c 24" Tiny Tot Glycerin Relieves constipation quickly. Suppositories 290c (Downtown, University, Coburg Rd.) 3.S9 siie with B-12 Junior Vitamins I97 (All 4 Stores) 1.89 size 10 Microgram B-12 Vitamins 97c (Downtown, University, Coburg Rd.) COSMETIC DEPARTMENTS Large Group of Famous Name PERFUMES and COLOGNE HALF-PLAICE! (All 4 Stores) Limited selections, priced low for immediate sale. All items subject to stock on hand No sales to dealers. I Come early! All Tiffany Stores OPEN 8 A. M. VARIETY DEPARTMENTS 9.88 Model M-70 Valiant Electric PORTABLE MIXER (DOWNTOWN ONLY) 197 Close-out (Hard back ) BOOKS (DOWNTOWN ONLY) 277 1.50 7-or. 3 Way Desert Flower CURL SPRAY 87C (DOWNTOWN, UNIVERSITY, COBURG RD.) 1.50 7 oz. Technique CURL SPRAY 87C (DOWNTOWN, UNIVERSITY, COBURG RD.) 2.85 famous name, for complexion care SCRUB SET 97 (DOWNTOWN, UNIVERSITY, COBURG RD.) 1.39 Feminine shave cream PINK PLUSH 72C (DOWNTOWN, UNIVERSITY, COBURG RD.) , 9.97 Chic Milady HAIR DRYER 297 (DOWNTOWN, COBURG RD.) 88c Bag of 150 bathi BUBBLE BATH 44' (DOWNTOWN ONLY) Values to 9.95 ASSORTED TABLE LAMPS 297 (COBURG RD., RIVIERA) 99e Italian Import GLASS VASES 67' (ALL 4 STORES) Electric Decorator style WALL CLOCKS Vi price (DOWNTOWN, UNIVERSITY) with Q e Handle ' 199 97 close-out, all PURITAN DRUGS HALF-PRICE (Downtown, University, Coburg Rd.) VARIETY DEPARTMENTS Reg. 1.98 All 4 Stores VINYL HEARTH PILLOWS 11.98 lona Highlander Portable ELECTRIC MIXER (DOWNTOWN ONLY) 59c Unbreakable Polyethylene Ranch Style PITCHERS (DOWNTOWN ONLY) 2.98 National Velvet Plastic RAIN COATS 19s (DOWNTOWN ONLY) Discontinued colors FULLER PAINTS Vz OFF (UNIVERSITY, COBL'RG RD., RIVIERA) 29s French Individual Bake & Serve (colon) CASSEROLE DISHES (ALL 4 STORES) 9.88 Valor Auto Elec. CAN OPENERS (DOWNTOWN ONLY) 79c What-Not Dish PLASTIC ITEMS 5e (DOWNTOWN ONLY) 1.49 Gettysburg Reversible size 39"x20" , BRAIDED RUGS 76e (DOWNTOWN ONLY) Your choice Levels, Pliers, Hammers, Sawi, etc. Handy Tool Assortment 37e (DOWNTOWN ONLY) 97c Children's 100 cotton SLEEPER with FOOT 9 (DOWNTOWN ONLY) 29.95 Model IB-16 Toastmaiter TOASTER (DOWNTOWN ONLY) 14 97 97' 19' 47' 8" ...AND MANY MORE ITEMS PRICED TO SELL! TIC TOC Reg. 49c LIQUID OOc DETERGENT, 1 pt. 6 oz. Reg. 49c All Purpose Cleaner Reg. 19c 5-oz. Qc Foaming Cleanser 2r Reg. 37c (all 4 stores) STARLET SANDALS Reg. 88c Metal Embossed (alt 4 stores) WASTE BASKETS Reg. 12.88 Full Bed Size Rex Ray ELECTRIC BLANKETS 9.95 Chic Electric No. 1185 HAIR CLIPPER SET (DOWNTOWN AND UNIVERSITY ONLY) 24.88 White Stag Dacron King Size 42x84 SLEEPING BAG (ALL 4 STORES) CSUBUSHEO 11 J L88 17" Plus Westinghouse LIGHT FIXTURES 75 OFF (ALL 4 STORES) Clearance of TOYS (ALL 4 STORES) Vi PRICE S&H GREEN STAMPS! no um mmm U5LT mi bid ULI
