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About The Oregon statesman. (Salem, Or.) 1916-1980 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 22, 1925)
Till?' QZZGOll STATEsirAII, SALELT. OREGON . ' w TIIUfcSDAX MOHNING, JANUARY 22. 1323 ssssstftfjj" i sPTBBiBMMaifcflB i'4iPTffiir" t ri.ii . '. -bul' ''1, . ' ' , ' ' "" j'l '.'". J '"" ..'-i- ' " ' " "" ' "' " 11 J - -a rf: T J t T1IK REALTOR Of" JUUO Mk mtu nuts, at, f Profession, trade or craft. ' Realtor, without a doubt, l ho finest graft: M3" to 8rt ia business all he needs V Vi nst a desk and chair; wnoie earin is m block in trade , . . ' - - . Tiat is, all save the air., Tie man who has a house to sell, one who wants to buy, ' Sich comes to him, a- good deal, like ' '''- ftegpidef and the fly; Then all he has , to do, you see, Is Introduce the two, - And take a fat commission when tj bargain is put through. Th Reaitor picks up a farm ini cuts It into lota,v;4r' .;, isd palms it off on city folks 't ' for house and garden plots. . ; " II were starting life 'again Bis Job I would select, ;;, " . For though it's mostly -dirty work, He holds the world's respect! It's YOU. Dear! Ferd j; -''I'm crazy over you." Gertie: -'Why blame it on me?" Horace Woodmansee. So Long, Too! . Tbe young couple, returning from a train excursion, were ask ed by an official of the road, who tnew the girls father: . "Well, how do you like our railroad?"; . . ; "Oh," replied the girl, blushing prettily. "I think the tunnels are just wonderful! Marie Manheim. WALLY TITE 3IY9TIC Hell Answer .Your Questions, Somehow I sometimes wonder, as I read Jfy many letters, if, Indeed, The world could have gone ion without ij Mystic Mind to scatter" doubt. ' ' , Skating Just An Excuse Dear Wally; , Skating season's here. Iy girl will wish to learn, I fear; Her ankles twist like flimsy rags; What shall I do? " - Yours, ' iuear Baggs: ; The prospect sure is tough! Ton do not hug the girl enough. as t hug her early, hug her late, And she won't want to learn to : skate. - t, '. J " i-0:l;: .' Bun, Boy! Run! Dear Wally; f ! i Just the other day I met a girl, sweet, winsome, gay; She winked at least I think she i did. ! - .;. v;. .;r, What should I do in that case? 1 I ; . KID. - Dear Kid: i i - Heads up! '. Lnd keep eyes right! Aad forward march with all your ! mlsht. t "then eyes Vlnk, or , you : think ; they do, Skip for your mamma, P. p. Q. The Din -Whafs that noise I hear?' That's our filiner system at work." . w Leroy Harmon. No - Stay .-r : s. 7 W1LDW1LX.IES III By aeorse K. Chappell. H ;: Willie, as the fire' burned low, l i: uave it a terrific blow. ' , Grandpa's beard got la, the draft? uear me, how the firemen laughed II . Little .Willie, up. at dawn, " M Smote a golf ball on the lawn. I k. Papa's shutters were ajar; H He nearly made a hole in Pa. V,- Willie, with a rod and fly, 1 p Tried.. some casts at passers-by.? j: in an hour the little dear Hooked three bonnets and an ear. Xot Knough i fi Dora: "How much will I get for those jokes I sent into THE5 PUN SHOP?" - ! Editor of Fun r Shop: 1 "Five years.". . t . . s. t " ; j ui ':When Pittsburgh gets the tall est university In the world, Us students should graduate with the highest honors! . . . A SOBER MAN ALWAYS TTFVS A Tongue-Twister To the state fair up at Lincoln Frank N. Rankin took a pumpkin. 'Twas a great big lunkin' pink-'un And SOME pumpkin, sure enoiigh. Rankin met a pal named (Mencken, Who was tankln' up in Lincoln.' Thinkin'.he was tough. r;- Rankin joined him, drlnkin Ink, an . , : i ; All the blinkln' Btuff. In Lincoln It was bloody, blinkin' stuff, i l Meanwhile Duncan,1 a country bumpkin. i . " i Brought to Lincoln a big, spankln' pumpkin, ' ' " 4 . And beat drunken Frank N. Ran kin, .: I i h J -f ;f :n Who, unthinkln had been drinkjn' AH the blinkin' ink in Lincoln, , ,, .. , Rose Jordan. Adele Garrison's New Phase ; of REVELATIONS OF A WIFE Copyright by Newspaper Feature . Service CHAPTER 364 THE WAY MADGE DEFTY, COR NERED MR. SMYTHE !i Miss Cargill, quick, adroit, took advantage of the ludicrous inci dent in which Katie! had worsted young Mr. Smythe and carried) ot. Claire- Fbstrs, torn pnotqgrapaf to put agafVfc question which th4 vouth so rudely, had interruptea "Your attitude then," she said, m tiiat Aih'ol affair Is to be regarded with amusement j rather than wrath, and you are going to Caldwin at once in order to assure yourself that your , husband and your dear friend, Miss Foster, are uninjured, and that there is no serious ansle to the comedy. May I auote you to that effect?" ' I did not need Lillian's warning signal to hesitate before I acquiesc- More L : 1 . MY MARRIAGE PRBDLE1S : - i : . e i VI -at-Hoine Day, O' kNE look at the ' 1 3 really fine used ? ears- on-display, her e conditioned so as to t serre yop through thousands of ) joyous miles will convince J you that the shut-in days for you and your I family are at an end I And they're easy to f buy, too. s Charlie - t ' A ' -;; ' "' ' " 'Ijf i-W, ;: 'i ' r ; 1 v.j ." v"';. J S : j ' K $ !: jf .- ' - l. v ' ' ": c ;- . V - - - N , d ;;. ; :,v' !'. 'hi :; s Charlie Dawson, of Eugene, who meets Billy Gardeau, of Portland, in the main event, ten3 minute rounds, at the Armory Friday night, i t ed in the Ingenious version of my thoughts. Yet I knew enough of newspapers, and reporters to know that as long as" the first story had been printed, it was far wiser for ma to. , giveureliable Teportera some comment they could quotes " - 'I do not -think that quite ex 1 t ' ' ' ; 7T N 0 W At Salem Automobile Co. me ". - In the New 1925 Star Car Dawson presses my attitude," I said slow ly. 1 "I know from advices I have had from Mr. GrahamJand Miss Foster" my Puritan ; conscience fell unconscious at this stroke i'lhat-thejnewspaper. account great ly exaggerated the affair. .1 am eoinz ud there, of course. It is em the perfectly convenient for me to do so. and I may be able to be of some help to Miss Foster. She is in clined to be nervous and an acci dent of that sort is not very-soothing, you know."! I made a 4 mental : apology to Claire Foster's splendid health and iron nerves, then I braced myself anew as Mr. Rickett's calm, suave voice struck into the conversation. ''A few minutes ago you referred to : the incident as harmless com edy," he said. "Would you object to explaining your meaning?" A Veiled Threat- ;"Not in the least," I returned brightly. "Of course, I did not mean to refer to the accident it self as comedy, but could there fee anything more humorous than the comment , and excitement which according to the newspapers the incident appears to have caused among the inhabitants of the sum mer colony? Anything more in tensely smair town stuff X cannot imagine. I hope that the account is greatly exaggerated, and' that Miss Foster has not been annoyed by it." ' ': 1 v 'l- f "And you want to go on rec ord,' queried young 1 Mr. Smythe, with an unpleasant) leer; "as say ing that you - are not angry at your -husband or Jealous . of Miss Foster, and that you are going up there to protect the girl from gossip?", " v I. "Well, In one way that makes a better story than the one I had. Come now I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll write this story the way you want it, not telling the real thing., about your 1 tearing that photograph of Miss Foster that the baby had, if you'll give me a bang-up picture of j iMiss .Foster, whichjl can use." j 1 "I beg you to believe-" Miss vargju ..Degan, jier dark eyes sparkling with anger; and I saw Air. Rickett half rise from "his 'chair; as if he - meant to call the other man to account. But I in terrupted" them both," ruthlessly, faced young Mr. 6mythe, and spoke 'slowly, firmly, Mr. Graham Is An 1 Athlete." ; : : - ' ' I i r-.. " - VI have been most patient with your insufferable j actions." I .be gan, ''because of the courteous be- - K it t ' 1 L ! L 1-, '' j j - 1 1 i i i-'J ! ; " 1 1 . -r '- V-1 j - n t ; See bur window display of late models in Lodus Shos . the very newest thing that the eastern factories are pro ducing. f : . 1:' I I J See the New f . j - BMMD Combination arid Patent Leather Two very new creations. Get a pair before . . i ........ i l r -i , sizes Blade Gor ded Satin isj another new thing we are offering this week ALL STYLES MODERATELY PRICED ; CONSIDERING iSTYLE fan Sues nirtaff DszBaiOi 326 JlCca - havior and; evident, desire i to. be' fair which ' your colleagues have exhibited. But I warn you that my patience with you is at an end. It is one thing to -write an ac count of something .which actu ally happened, it is something al- together different " to indulge in guess work as to someone's mental attitude. . j j ;- "I have stated to Miss Cargill and Mr.. Rickett exactly What my position, is,, and I know' I made a little gesture of confidence in their direction "that they will quote me correctly. . You ; are at liberty to , do the same thing, but please remember that I. have your card and I shall know exactly who is responsible for any article con cerning' me which is published in your paper." There-are two other facts which it would be advisable for you to impress upon: -your memory." , , . ; ; . , I paused with as impressive ao air as I could assume, .j taking heart from Lillian, who,i standing back of the little group surround ing me; where) she- could not ,be seen, was applauding silently but vigorously.' I also caught a '-dis rrr also the , ,A 1 of Apricot brok are en MallDUi:.: - ' ! it I' i w v - - tlnctty admiring look on the faces, of .Miss Cargill and Mr. Rickett and what I yalued even more, a sullen, malevolent, but distinctly respectful expression; in the eyes of young Mr. Smythe. t "I am perfectly ' familiar with the. legal recourse I should have if you disregard my jwarnlng.T I went' on, "and" another .: signifi cant pause "Mr." Graham is an athlete of no mean 'ability, he 1 hot-tempered, ' and ' very quick action when, roused to a L turned indifferently from him, and- held out my hand to Miss Cargill. ) j . . iYout and ai Rickett will ex cuse me now, I am sure," I iiid. "lor I am extremely jhusy.. Thank you ;M much .lor your courtesy. Lillian, , will you doj the honors?" I kept the . . stereotyped little smile on my - face! unti I was safely out of their sight and hear ing. .Then-X ran to iny own room, and behind my locked door, raged at) my; husband, fori involving me in so humiliating-anencounter as the" one ; I 'hadT just experienced with: Mr. H.Edouard. Smythe. ; 1 (To be fcontinued.) - - - --' -I i - j Kit! the If tW ; ' ' ' ' i ;ITI Certified -P:iblic)Mpri: i OVy'1 rJ'JJJ -wt Car 'L-zziiQ'c 255 N. Church.