Till?' QZZGOll STATEsirAII, SALELT. OREGON
. ' w
TIIUfcSDAX MOHNING, JANUARY 22. 1323
ssssstftfjj" i sPTBBiBMMaifcflB i'4iPTffiir" t ri.ii . '. -bul' ''1, . ' ' , ' ' "" j'l '.'". J '"" ..'-i- ' " ' " "" ' "' " 11 J
- -a rf: T J t
T1IK REALTOR
Of" JUUO Mk mtu nuts, at,
f Profession, trade or craft.
' Realtor, without a doubt,
l ho finest graft:
M3"
to 8rt ia business all he needs
V Vi nst a desk and chair;
wnoie earin is m block in
trade , . . ' - - .
Tiat is, all save the air.,
Tie man who has a house to sell,
one who wants to buy, '
Sich comes to him, a- good deal,
like ' '''-
ftegpidef and the fly;
Then all he has , to do, you see,
Is Introduce the two, -
And take a fat commission when
tj bargain is put through.
Th Reaitor picks up a farm
ini cuts It into lota,v;4r' .;,
isd palms it off on city folks 't '
for house and garden plots. . ; "
II were starting life 'again
Bis Job I would select, ;;, " .
For though it's mostly -dirty work,
He holds the world's respect!
It's YOU. Dear!
Ferd j; -''I'm crazy over you."
Gertie: -'Why blame it on me?"
Horace Woodmansee.
So Long, Too! .
Tbe young couple, returning
from a train excursion, were ask
ed by an official of the road, who
tnew the girls father: .
"Well, how do you like our
railroad?"; . . ;
"Oh," replied the girl, blushing
prettily. "I think the tunnels are
just wonderful!
Marie Manheim.
WALLY TITE 3IY9TIC
Hell Answer .Your Questions,
Somehow
I sometimes wonder, as I read
Jfy many letters, if, Indeed,
The world could have gone ion
without
ij Mystic Mind to scatter" doubt.
' ' ,
Skating Just An Excuse
Dear Wally; ,
Skating season's here.
Iy girl will wish to learn, I fear;
Her ankles twist like flimsy rags;
What shall I do? " -
Yours, '
iuear Baggs: ;
The prospect sure is tough!
Ton do not hug the girl enough.
as t hug her early, hug her late,
And she won't want to learn to
: skate. - t, '.
J " i-0:l;: .'
Bun, Boy! Run!
Dear Wally; f !
i Just the other day
I met a girl, sweet, winsome, gay;
She winked at least I think she
i did. ! - .;. v;. .;r,
What should I do in that case? 1
I ; . KID. -
Dear Kid: i i -
Heads up! '. Lnd keep eyes right!
Aad forward march with all your
! mlsht. t
"then eyes Vlnk, or , you : think
; they do,
Skip for your mamma, P. p. Q.
The Din
-Whafs that noise I hear?'
That's our filiner system at
work." . w
Leroy Harmon.
No
-
Stay
.-r :
s.
7 W1LDW1LX.IES III
By aeorse K. Chappell. H ;:
Willie, as the fire' burned low, l i:
uave it a terrific blow. ' ,
Grandpa's beard got la, the draft?
uear me, how the firemen laughed
II .
Little .Willie, up. at dawn, " M
Smote a golf ball on the lawn. I k.
Papa's shutters were ajar; H
He nearly made a hole in Pa. V,-
Willie, with a rod and fly, 1 p
Tried.. some casts at passers-by.? j:
in an hour the little dear
Hooked three bonnets and an ear.
Xot Knough i fi
Dora: "How much will I get
for those jokes I sent into THE5
PUN SHOP?" - !
Editor of Fun r Shop: 1 "Five
years.". . t . . s. t " ; j ui
':When Pittsburgh gets the tall
est university In the world, Us
students should graduate with the
highest honors! . . .
A SOBER MAN ALWAYS TTFVS
A Tongue-Twister
To the state fair up at Lincoln
Frank N. Rankin took a pumpkin.
'Twas a great big lunkin' pink-'un
And SOME pumpkin, sure enoiigh.
Rankin met a pal named (Mencken,
Who was tankln' up in Lincoln.'
Thinkin'.he was tough. r;-
Rankin joined him, drlnkin Ink,
an . , : i ;
All the blinkln' Btuff. In Lincoln
It was bloody, blinkin' stuff, i l
Meanwhile Duncan,1 a country
bumpkin. i . " i
Brought to Lincoln a big, spankln'
pumpkin, ' ' " 4 .
And beat drunken Frank N. Ran
kin, .: I i h J -f ;f :n
Who, unthinkln had been drinkjn'
AH the blinkin' ink in Lincoln,
, ,, .. , Rose Jordan.
Adele Garrison's New Phase ; of
REVELATIONS OF A WIFE
Copyright by Newspaper Feature
. Service
CHAPTER 364
THE WAY MADGE DEFTY, COR
NERED MR. SMYTHE !i
Miss Cargill, quick, adroit, took
advantage of the ludicrous inci
dent in which Katie! had worsted
young Mr. Smythe and carried) ot.
Claire- Fbstrs, torn pnotqgrapaf
to put agafVfc question which th4
vouth so rudely, had interruptea
"Your attitude then," she said,
m tiiat Aih'ol affair Is to be
regarded with amusement j rather
than wrath, and you are going to
Caldwin at once in order to assure
yourself that your , husband and
your dear friend, Miss Foster, are
uninjured, and that there is no
serious ansle to the comedy. May
I auote you to that effect?" '
I did not need Lillian's warning
signal to hesitate before I acquiesc-
More L
: 1 .
MY MARRIAGE
PRBDLE1S
: - i : . e i VI
-at-Hoine Day,
O'
kNE look at the
' 1 3
really fine used ?
ears- on-display, her e
conditioned so as to t
serre yop through
thousands of ) joyous
miles will convince J
you that the shut-in
days for you and your I
family are at an end I
And they're easy to f
buy, too. s
Charlie
- t
' A ' -;; ' "' ' " 'Ijf i-W, ;: 'i ' r ; 1 v.j ." v"';. J S :
j ' K $ !:
jf .- ' - l. v ' '
": c ;- . V
- - - N
, d ;;. ; :,v' !'.
'hi
:; s Charlie Dawson, of Eugene, who meets Billy
Gardeau, of Portland, in the main event, ten3
minute rounds, at the Armory Friday night, i t
ed in the Ingenious version of my
thoughts. Yet I knew enough of
newspapers, and reporters to know
that as long as" the first story had
been printed, it was far wiser for
ma to. , giveureliable Teportera some
comment they could quotes " -
'I do not -think that quite ex
1 t ' ' ' ;
7T
N 0 W
At
Salem Automobile Co.
me
". -
In the New
1925 Star Car
Dawson
presses my attitude," I said slow
ly. 1 "I know from advices I have
had from Mr. GrahamJand Miss
Foster" my Puritan ; conscience
fell unconscious at this stroke
i'lhat-thejnewspaper. account great
ly exaggerated the affair. .1 am
eoinz ud there, of course. It is
em
the
perfectly convenient for me to do
so. and I may be able to be of some
help to Miss Foster. She is in
clined to be nervous and an acci
dent of that sort is not very-soothing,
you know."!
I made a 4 mental : apology to
Claire Foster's splendid health and
iron nerves, then I braced myself
anew as Mr. Rickett's calm, suave
voice struck into the conversation.
''A few minutes ago you referred
to : the incident as harmless com
edy," he said. "Would you object
to explaining your meaning?"
A Veiled Threat-
;"Not in the least," I returned
brightly. "Of course, I did not
mean to refer to the accident it
self as comedy, but could there fee
anything more humorous than the
comment , and excitement which
according to the newspapers the
incident appears to have caused
among the inhabitants of the sum
mer colony? Anything more in
tensely smair town stuff X cannot
imagine. I hope that the account
is greatly exaggerated, and' that
Miss Foster has not been annoyed
by it." ' ': 1 v 'l- f
"And you want to go on rec
ord,' queried young 1 Mr. Smythe,
with an unpleasant) leer; "as say
ing that you - are not angry at
your -husband or Jealous . of Miss
Foster, and that you are going up
there to protect the girl from
gossip?", " v I.
"Well, In one way that makes a
better story than the one I had.
Come now I'll tell you what I'll
do. I'll write this story the way
you want it, not telling the real
thing., about your 1 tearing that
photograph of Miss Foster that
the baby had, if you'll give me a
bang-up picture of j iMiss .Foster,
whichjl can use." j 1
"I beg you to believe-" Miss
vargju ..Degan, jier dark eyes
sparkling with anger; and I saw
Air. Rickett half rise from "his
'chair; as if he - meant to call the
other man to account. But I in
terrupted" them both," ruthlessly,
faced young Mr. 6mythe, and
spoke 'slowly, firmly,
Mr. Graham Is An 1 Athlete."
; : : - ' ' I i r-.. " -
VI have been most patient with
your insufferable j actions." I .be
gan, ''because of the courteous be-
-
K
it
t ' 1 L ! L 1-, '' j j - 1 1 i i i-'J ! ; " 1 1 . -r '- V-1 j - n t ;
See bur window display of late models in Lodus Shos .
the very newest thing that the eastern factories are pro
ducing. f
: . 1:'
I I J See the New f . j -
BMMD
Combination
arid Patent Leather
Two very new creations. Get a pair before
. . i ........ i l r -i ,
sizes
Blade Gor ded Satin
isj another new thing we are offering this week
ALL STYLES MODERATELY PRICED
; CONSIDERING iSTYLE
fan Sues
nirtaff
DszBaiOi
326 JlCca -
havior and; evident, desire i to. be'
fair which ' your colleagues have
exhibited. But I warn you that
my patience with you is at an end.
It is one thing to -write an ac
count of something .which actu
ally happened, it is something al-
together different " to indulge in
guess work as to someone's mental
attitude. . j j ;-
"I have stated to Miss Cargill
and Mr.. Rickett exactly What my
position, is,, and I know' I made
a little gesture of confidence in
their direction "that they will
quote me correctly. . You ; are at
liberty to , do the same thing, but
please remember that I. have your
card and I shall know exactly who
is responsible for any article con
cerning' me which is published in
your paper." There-are two other
facts which it would be advisable
for you to impress upon: -your
memory." , , . ; ; . ,
I paused with as impressive ao
air as I could assume, .j taking
heart from Lillian, who,i standing
back of the little group surround
ing me; where) she- could not ,be
seen, was applauding silently but
vigorously.' I also caught a '-dis
rrr
also the , ,A 1
of Apricot
brok
are
en
MallDUi:.:
- ' !
it I' i w
v - -
tlnctty admiring look on the faces,
of .Miss Cargill and Mr. Rickett
and what I yalued even more, a
sullen, malevolent, but distinctly
respectful expression; in the eyes
of young Mr. Smythe. t
"I am perfectly ' familiar with
the. legal recourse I should have
if you disregard my jwarnlng.T I
went' on, "and" another .: signifi
cant pause "Mr." Graham is an
athlete of no mean 'ability, he 1
hot-tempered, ' and ' very quick
action when, roused to a
L turned indifferently from him,
and- held out my hand to Miss
Cargill. ) j . .
iYout and ai Rickett will ex
cuse me now, I am sure," I iiid.
"lor I am extremely jhusy.. Thank
you ;M much .lor your courtesy.
Lillian, , will you doj the honors?"
I kept the . . stereotyped little
smile on my - face! unti I was
safely out of their sight and hear
ing. .Then-X ran to iny own room,
and behind my locked door, raged
at) my; husband, fori involving me
in so humiliating-anencounter as
the" one ; I 'hadT just experienced
with: Mr. H.Edouard. Smythe.
; 1 (To be fcontinued.) -
- - --' -I i - j
Kit!
the
If
tW
; ' ' ' ' i
;ITI
Certified -P:iblic)Mpri:
i
OVy'1 rJ'JJJ
-wt
Car 'L-zziiQ'c
255 N. Church.