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About The Oregon daily journal. (Portland, Or.) 1902-1972 | View Entire Issue (March 21, 1920)
Itlta UKKUUN SUNDAY JOURNAL . PORTLAND, 'SUNDAY MORNING. MARCH 81, 1920. f New York Shunned Birthplace as fss1mmm wf l "I told him who I am and ht seemed tickled to death'' In Selecting Place to Be Bom Lardner and Other Celebrities clways Avoid Gotham i 919 FIRE RECORD SHOWS REASON TO PROTECT FORESTS IMBBaBMBVSBaiSMSBWMNaMst Chamber of Commerce Movement for Protection Week Is Meet ing With Great Success. r'lirt A Mf it : " ,r " r v VIH COIOWEL AtF fifMUTUCtS IW THE FAR , FAB WEST-aho tU THE CAST" ALSO Bj A. D. Crklge The lady was determined. The lady was the relict of Major Blatchford, who, it appears, had recently become the wife, master, mate and crew of Charley Young; of Can Berdoo, and never a master or mate who possessed a shorter temper or a longer vocabulary of profanity. Therefore, as stated, the lady was determined. Cap Seth Tate, commander - in By Ring W. Lardner - rpo THE Editor: A I hope they wont nobody take offenses at this article as nothing Is father from my thoughts than try and get people mad but It looks to me like whon a person finds out some interesting Ring- W. Lardner facts of history It to their duty to slip it along to my army of readers. Well th nth.r riav T r. - onw.- ng nome irom oia cm and like usual whenever I hop on a train the first thing I always do is try and make acquaintances with some stranger so as I can maybe improve' my mind a little by listening to their conversation and incidently improve their mind a whole lot by makeing them listen to what I got to say. So I went in the club car and looked them over and picked out a bird that you could tell he was a Dr. on acct. of how sanitary he acted and I aald to myself . I will get acquainted with that bird because the way the trains are acting up now days they't no telling where they will stop and they might pull up along side of a drug store. So I set down by him and told him who I am and he seemed tickled to death and finely he ast where I live at and I told him and to return the , compliments I ast him where he lived at and he says "I am a New Torker.'K So I ast him was he born In N. T. City and he give me a look as much as to say what was the mat ter with me and then he ast me was 'I jokeing- and I said what do you mean jokeing and he said "Of course you know I wasn't born In N. T City because nobody ever was." So now It was my turn to ask him was he Jokeing and he says "If you think I am you can get a bet out of ma. If you can name me one person that was born in N. T. City I will pay your fare there." Well I am nrettv well acauatntd ! a round the Bl- Town, as I have nick - named it; bo I Immediately begin springing- me names or some of my friends in the hopes that he wouldn't r, know if they was born in the Big Town or no, but he says "You are just bluffing as I know where every -, one of those birds were born and none of then! was born in the Big - Town." "Xdsten, he says, "let s take look at the different people that uun up now x ur& s principle in ; dustries like baseball and actors and . Singers and artists and writers and etc., and you will see that every one , of them is immigrunts. For in etants there is Morris ' Oest from WUna, Russia, and there ia Irvin Cobb from Paducah, Ky. and there is - Babe Ruth from Baltimore, Mary, .Well to make a long story out of - a abort story he then went ahead .: and named pretty near everybody I - ever heard of and where they was V all born and Z only wished I had of took It all down on paper and pencil ; so as I could give full details but the best I can do is set 'down all as X can remember of It and maybe In some , cases I have got the towns wrong but any way here it is as fol lows In the order named Inclusive under the different head lines, r ' . Music Henry Caruso, Ravioli, Italy. R. W. Xjardner, Niles, Mich. Jaacha Heifetz, Fiddle." Cferm. Mischa EI man. Caucasia; Russia. Titta Ruffo, Vermicelli. Italy. Geraldine Farrar, Irving Berlin, Syncopate, Russia. Eva Tanquay, North Adams, Mass. Victor Herbert, Score, Ireland. Actors and. Etc. 8 Barrymores, Phllly, Pa., Geo. Cohan, Providence, R. I., Al Jolson, Ina Claire and Bill Page, Washing ton, D. C. Davids Belasco and War rield, Holbrook Bllnn, Bertie Hoff man, m. Brady, Jim Corbett, San Francisco, Cal. Blanche Bates, Port land, Or. R. W. Lardner, Niles, Mich. Oscar Hammerstein, Pretzel, Germ. Bert Williams, Martin, Bermuda. ItBC VouRc ?; RKAr- . WWywyfr uuss'-oiD Wlfm yoo HAf-f 1 PBN TO Vj-VJk. f aee. JISECr v Bj C. S. Chapman Outside the national forests, 1144 fires were reported by wardens the summer of 1919. These fires were of various origin but the three causes credited with the largest numbers were slash burning, hunters and campers, and lightning. The two largest of these groups were man-caused fires. These fires caused damage to stand ing timber, logs, logging equipment, and improvements of over f 750,000, and over 1380,000 was expended in fire fighting, patrol and improvements in an endeavor to prevent loss. PROTECTION COSTLY The season of 1918 loss of timber was greater and this in spite of the added amounts each year expended to keep out fire. It is only by constantly increasing ef fort that losses are kept as low as those reported above, and yet the past season loss of property plus cost of preventing further loss was over $1,000,000, an amount which a few years back would have defrayed expenses of our state government for a year. Timber loss unlike that of an agri cultural crop cannot be recovered in a few years. It has takes 300 years to grow many of our stands of Douglas fir and once burned up this generation Mil never again see a merchantable crop of timber on the land. Forest fires also strike very directly the farmer and every taxpayer. Each year fires collect their toll of farm build ings, fences and often harvested crops. As soon as a piece of timber Is burned the owner also naturally asks for and is granted a reduction In his taxes. Burned .timber unless very accessible is seldom harvested and taxation can only hold for the value of the rough land which before a fire had very consider able value because of Its stand of green trees. " The loss in assessed valuation result ing from a fire must be taken up by other property owners, for taxes are not decreasing. CUT TIM BE B LOSS But unfortunate as are the results enumerated they are insignifioant com pared with loss to labor resulting from destruction of raw material and loss to the community by reason of removing possibility of manufacturing develop ment Oreeon will develop in proportion as fchex wisely handles her resources. The yearly unnecessary direct loss of over a million dollars in raw material is not a good recommendation for the state. For this reason the fortiana unamoer of Commerce took up the movement for forest protection week," May 23 to 29, with a view to endeavoring to reduce Oregon's yearly timber loss through fires. "So I set down by him " Anna Pavlowa, Petrograd, Russia; Flo Ziegfleld, Chi., 111.; A. L. Er lnaer, Cleveland, Ohio; Marc Klaw, Louisville, Ky.; the Shuberts, Syra cuse, N. Y.; Maude Adams and Alary Pickford, Salt Lake, Utah; D. W Griffith, Louisville. Ky.; Charles Chaplin, Custard Pie, England; Nora Bayes, Chi., 111.; Dorothy Dalton Chi., 111.; Douglas Fairbanks, Buffa lo, Niagara Falls; Deonora Uirlch Milwaukee, Wis.; Donald Brian. Bos ton, Mass.; Frank Tirney and Kd JVynn, Philly. Elsie Janls. Cute' Ohio; Marcus Loew, Vienna, Austria, and etc. Baseball John'McGraw, Truxton, N. T. Miller Hugglns, Norwood, Ohio; Col onel Huston, Clncy, Ohio; John Heydler, Washington, D. C; J. D Rockefeller, Cleveland, Ohio; Ban Johnson, Clncy, Ohio; R. W. Lard ner, Niles, Mich.; William J. Bryan, Lincoln, Neb., and etc. Reporters, Authors and Etc. R. W. Lardner, Niles, Mich, Booth Tarkington, Indianapolis, Ind.; Damon Runyon, Denver, Colo. Hype Igoe, Bug, Idaho; F. P, A. What Cheer, Iowa; Grantland Rice Nashville, Tenn.; Hughle Fullerton, Hlllsboro, Ohio. Picture Drawers and Etc. Clare Briggs, Reedsburg, Wis. Old Tad, San Francisco, Cal.; Rube Goldberg, San Francisco, Cal.; Win sor McCay, San Francisco. Cal. Bud Fisher, Chi., 111. ; Nftysa McMeln, Quincy, 111. So you see it Is true, Just like the Dr. said, and I am glad I dldn make no bet with him, as I would of lose, and to show how bad the situ ation is. why, the Big Town has to send over to Brooklyn for their Mayors. Personally the Bell Syndi cate was born In Yonkera and aa I say, the undersigned was bOrn in Niles, Mich. RING W. LARDNER. Greenwich, Conn- March is. (Copyright. 1S2Q. by the BU Synidoat lac Pulmotor Revives Dead Man t-uue. a.. Min-h n tt -vt S.Wohn Smlgiel, 34. was resusrftfttd here by a pulmotor after physicians i"ihiuci mm a end of asphyxi chief of the Marl Springs water sta tion, feed yard, hotel, store and re freshment parlor, situated In the midst of th Molave desert, with 60 miles of Lawful alkali and soda on one side and 40 miles of rolling dry hills and des ert on the other, assured her it couldn't be done. "There is noo slch a possibility, me gude woman," he assured her. "Y'd been most sadly misinformed, I assure ye. There Is no ither springs or wather holes none whatever." ."You're a liar!" declared the black-haired and husky Mrs. Young. "My poor husband. Major Blatchford, told me all about it. He marked it on the map. Would to God I had him here with me, instead of this mock man and bum !" - And with a bacward sweep of her hand she nearly knocked her little, humble, bewhis kered husband off his feet She drew forth a folded map of ths awful wagon road starting from San Bernardino, Cal., that wound its way through the Cajhon pass and down the Mojave river to the Soda Lake desert, where the frightful push of 60 miles was marked to Marl Springs and on to the Colo iado river. In these modern days of auto trucks and railroads the hardships of travel over the deserts with teams that could i not maks over 20 miles a day ia not realized. MR8. YOITSG DETEEMIIfED "Here are Hat Springs," Mrs. Young pointed out. "Major Blatchford stopped there in '67, and he said there was water for 50 head of stock. And, j shaking her finger under Cap Tate's nose, "you bet your life, Cap Tate, I'm going to take my cows -there to rest up. l man t Dring tnoso cows uhb iw to have 'em starve, and I'm not goin' to pay you $60 a ton for your giatta grass hay to feed 'em till they can travel." "Weel, I sare wish the major was wi us, also," observed Cap Tate. "He were a kindly friend o' mine, and I honored him for a full-rigged man. But ye're not Mrs. Major Blatchford the noo. and even if Hat Springs has ony water in them, they belong to Jim Cunningham, fulj 22 miles away, and I have noo shadow o' right to bid ye to them." Mrs. Young had started with 28 head of milch cows for the alfalfa pastures of San Bernardino, and had gotten through with 26 head to the midst of the desert, accompanied by her second husband, Charlie Young, and her daughter, Jean, a replica of her mother and about 14 years of age. The poor animals were sadly run down and must have feed and rest She had been told of Hat Springs by her former husband, who had died the year before, and was certain of her information. JUST MERE JAUXT As was customary in that section, no one told travelers of the fact of there being water at different places. I knew of several smaU springs and little water holes that would never have been guessed as existing. Hat Springs lay about eight miles north of Marl Springs, and a little trickle of water oozed out of a black mound of rooks and bushes that bore a rude resemblance to a hat. It was a mere little jaunt down town for Mrs. Young to mount a mus tang and ride that 22 miles to the Cunningham ranch house, hidden in a rocky gully, and secure from him a lease of Hat Springs for 60 days. Jean and I looked after the cattle mean while, for her new spouse was intent on securing In some way a drink or two from Cap- Tate. Indian Joe Bruno guarded the corrals to see that her hungry horses did not eat up more than was allowed to them. Also, he went to the top of Marl hilf, that jut- number of fiction titles have been added. I lea " into me aoaa bane aeseri, to Among some of the most Important report ir mere were any signs or neras anniversary and the declaration of In dependence was to be celebrated at San Berdoon, as we called San Ber- nardtno. and It would take three days' hard riding across mountain trails to get there in time to participate in the "equestrian parade" that the posters announced. This was In the latter part of march, and time dragged heavily on our hands as the angry sun arose each morning a little hotter than the preceding day. SAUCY AND' MISCHIEVOUS Jean could throw a rope better than I could. She could shoot ber mother's double-barreled shotgun and ride like an Indian. She was saucy, mischiev ous, dirty and a rough playmate in deed. "Charley Young," she called. striding to the door of Cap Tate's store room and refreshment parlor, "you git right out of there and go 'tend to them wagon wheels, and see that they are all soaked up right We're goin' to travel tomorrow, and you know what you'll- git if mamma comes back and finds those wheels are not all soaked up tight Now, you hear me, you wretched old bum?" - Thus abjured, : commanded and threat ened, Charlie Young groaned and went to properly took, after the wagon wheels that had been swverely dried out until the spokes and felloes rattled in their tires in the scorching sands of the desert Properly dampened with sacks while partly immersed In the water troughs, their normal condition would be restored. "Holy Moses, but that Charlie Young make m tired," sighed Jean, helping herself to some cool water on the coun ter. "Aye,' aye," replied Captain Tate. "He was - born that way, and is well doon In the cleft of Tophet now enduring torment fer his manifest mortal Bins o' the flee and the sperit" "Spirit!" giggled Jean. "You" should of Men the dirty toad when Mamma dragged him out of the s'loon at- Point Rocks on the Mohave. She lammed him good, and . he didn't have spirit enough to hit her back. He's goin' to get his walkln' papers when Mamma gets to Prescott and gets her dairy ranch started. I Just hate the sight of him." "It will be a De'll o a time I will have wi' Jim Cunningham when he taxes me wl' tellln' yer Mamma a boot the Hat Springs," sighed Captain Tate. "Don't get to moonin' about that" comforted Jean. "Mamma will tell him about my Pap's stopping there, and Til bet you a $4 hat he knew this Jim Cun ningham. My Pap kbew everybody and he had more friends than a congressman." "What ever possessed yer Mamma to tie up wi' this galoot from the last plaoe this side o' the bad place?" inquired Cap. "Oh, you see," said Jean, "Charlie was all dressed up and he had mighty takin' ways with him, and he said he was rich and had silver mines and a summer resort in Florida, or some place, and he told Mamma she looked most as young as me, and all that sort of thing. And all the while the thrlppy wretch was tin-horn gamblln In San Berdoon, and Mamma fell for his game. Only he can't touch the property. Half of It's mine, and the other half she can't sell. 1 guess Pap Blatchford was no fooL" WORSE THA1T -tOOWBTS "He were wise In 'his day and gen eration," observed Captain Tate, "but by Sir Walter Scott's great horn spoon I wish I had never signed articles to stop in this blankety blank hole o' Hades, let alone get mixed up In this Hat Springs business. I once signed as Bocond mate on a convict ship out of- Liverpool to Van Dleman's Land, and they loaded on ua a lot of looney cons. It was a picnic compared to this. Wi' all the lunitics o" the British gaols loaded on to us, they were wise men compared to the chuckle-headed looo weeded folks that come bv here." Well, It ain't my fault" observed Jean. "Mamma and Charlie hatched up the idea between 'em of starting a dairy ranch near Prescott, and a hot old-time they're having letting there. When I'm a young lady I'm going to live in ' Santa Monica and have two Chinks to wait on me and go surf-bathing every day." The next day the Young outfit moved to - Hat Springs, and I was detailed to help thero. We started at daybreak, and Charlie developed a clear case of Inability to walk and sing at the same time shortly after leaving Marl Springs. His faithful spouse shook him up se verely and placed him In .the wagon to drive while she mounted a horse and helped Jean and I drive the cattle. That afternoon Jean and I enjoyed a fierce water fight that degenerated Into a mud battle when the water played out, with the Youngs delighted spectators. Jean left me sprawling In the sands with a well directed left uppercuf to the Jaw from her hasty brown fist, and we ate supper amicably together, with peach cobbler iyiked In a tsutch oven at the camp fire for dessert The next day I returned to Marl Springs, not expecting to see any more of the Young family for a month. However, three days bad gone by and half a night when Mother Young came beating on the door to ask if we had eeen Jean. - She had left Charlie drunk and "layed out," as she expressed it. and the girl had not been seen since 4 o'clock In the afternoon, when she went on foot to bring In the wandering stock. Charlie had traded the silver watch of the late Major Blatchford to a prospector for a bottle or alcoholic elixir ana was dead to the world. Captain Tate called in Indian Joe Bruno as a consulting expert. "Fool girl chase crazy water," declared Joe after asking a few questiona That is. she had followed a mirage of the desert, which we afterwards found to be true. It looked like a lake, with trees on the shore and she wanted to wade In the water. It led her further away, and left her and her dog Rags be wildered and lost as dusk came. "Me find 'em Quick," asserted Joe. "Mebby dog take her home." Tate was not able to travel well and his duty required that he 'stay by the dumpy "station" of three dugouts and two corrals, the water troughs and the tunnels and storage caves of water In Marl hill. It did not take Joe long to strike her trail when we got to where Jean was lam seen. In a, few miles of truvel over the desert we came In sight of a rag fluttering on a desert palm, and found Jean and Hags calmly wait ing rescue. Her mother rushed forward and- under Joe's directions, gave her a little water at a time. She was not suffering, however, vory mui'h. "I would have made It back to the camp, all right," nhe declared, "without all this fuHB. I knew better'n travel in the middle of the day, and Hags and I would have got back by night. The lake looked so natural I just couldn't help trying to get into tt" Russia's Offers to U. S. Discussed in New Library Book What Russia offers America In the way of commercial opportunities is told in a new volume by Dr. Iosif M. Gold stein, an authority on Russian condi tions, which Is Included In the 60 new books added this week by the Portland public library. Especially interesting in the list are several new war books and several publications having to do with ' Ameri canization work. An unusually large titles are: "Essentials of Americanlza tlon Work." by E. S. Bogardus ; "The Story of the First Gas Regiment," by James Thayer Addtson ; "The Armenian In America," by M. Varlan Malcom ; "Best College Short Stories : "I Was There," by Cyrus L Baldridge ; "Ar temus Ward," a biography by Don Car los Seits ; "The Sword of Deborah," by F. T. Jesse, and "The Test of Scarlet" by C. W. Dawson. Movie actress Before we produce an other picture, I'll have to get a lot of now clothes. Director I can't wait that long. We'll put on a desert-Island drama. or travelers. Standing on this promon tory in the morning, one could imagine the Soda lake as it looked perhaps a million years before, but, alas, not now, for the soda and alkali made a tortu ous dust, and men and animals lost In it laid down and died. Their bodies mummified in the heat in the summer time, and in the winter time the coy otes gnawed out their bones. Jean was a precocious young lady, and I was a lad of between 15 and 16, intent on assisting Cap Tate in caring for the station, for which I was to receive $25 a month if I quit before July 1. and $35 a month if I remained until that date. Further I flatly re fused to sign up for. The" centennial iiim uetu Maiden. Maaa Marr arden.'chr: 'Til. ' w.,.. WBS . coma for vt $t&ffi flLEKflHDEB I We IDS WED. MATIKf-E ClXYa CKILCRSI I -1 -' f i" Tl f - ' . ' ' NOW! " : - k THE' WOMAN IN ROOM v J A great picture made from a great stage suc cess. It's a mystery story with love at the bottom of it all. Your verdict will be "Well done. 1 enjoyed every minute. A truly wonderful story." It's a great big picture! Topics TVeekly Just give the cast the "once over" and we'll gamble that you'll try to get in the door, too. Well, here goes Pauline Frederick John Bowers Charles Clary Robert McKim Sydney Ainsworth Marguerite Snow Emily Chichester Kate Lester Prisma Comedy RIVOLI CONCERT ORCHESTRA PERSONALLY DIRECTED BY M. GUTERSON Week Day Concerts Twice Each Afternoon and Evening Light Cavalry (overture) . . . .E. Waldtenfel Sunday Concert at 12:30 Noon Light Cavalry (overture)............ -F. Suppe Lea Patijneura E. Waldtenfel Cavitina .....S.Raff Souvenir de Moscou (violin solo, A. Creitz) . . H. Wieniawski Accompaniment Rivoli Concert Orchestra American Patrol -. F. Meacham, Souvenir de Moscou (violin solo, Albert Creitz) .H. Wieniawski Accompaniment Rivoli Concert Orchestra Lower Floor Matinee 25c, night 35c; Lower Balcony Matinee 25c, night 35c; Upper Balcony- Matinee and night 25c, Saturday, Sunday and holiday evenings 35c; Loges -Matinee 50c, night 60c; Children Matinee and night 15c All prices include war tax. : 7 - . . --.-. ' . - 4V uuiua.
