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About The Oregon daily journal. (Portland, Or.) 1902-1972 | View Entire Issue (May 15, 1915)
(LORD LONGBOW (Copyright, 1818. by W. Werner.) He Changes Color Accidentally HO. SAi 'Off the coast of Coco a lot of black savages sur prised me bathing, so I dived. - "When I . got below I saw a giant squib dreaming when he should have been about his business, so I gave him a bit of a shove. - 4 Doctor's Orders. ; Prom the Chicago Herald. -. "X , bricklayer lay ill, and the doctor . Jjavlng dope what, he .could,, told the man's wife to take his temperature in the morning. Calling the next day, the doctor asked if his instructions bad been followed. . .. 'Well, we hadn't a Iremometer in ae house,' the good woman replied. "Immediately I became enveloped in any inky fluid they use to make themselves invisible "to the enemy: "I then came out of the water disguised as one of me recent foes and jolly well got away, .old chap.; Of ' 'course, one can't always find a squib about, old top." "but I pot barometer on his chest and it went up. to ."very dry.' So I save him a bottle of beer and he's gone to work. , - Full Particulars. From the j New Tork Globe. TSo yea don't, know your father's name, Tdta boy? Well, what doe your mother call him?" "She calls him down,- eept when he calls, him low "down. Unfailing Cure. . From L Hire. 1 ' Kind Iady to Street Beggar $ut yesterday you were blind. t Tea, but I was married today and It opened my eyes, . , . ' . But He Turned In His Grave. From Le Sourlre. , i wonder why she always plays the last composition of Weber?" "Perhaps Jt is because Weber is not able to protest. Gray horses live the : longest, and cream colored ones are most affected by chang of temperature. , Not Very Steady.. From the National Monthly. A farm hand worked in the field from dawn till darkness, doing the chores by lantern light, "I'm going to quit be said to the farmer at the end of the month. "Ton promised me a steady Job.. "Well, haven't you got one?" was the! astonished . reply; - , "No. said the man, "there are three or four hours every. night that I don't have a ' thing to do and fool my time away sleeping." . ' - Flattered Her. From London Opinion. "I like the way that man looks." 'Why, he's positively tigly! "Tes; but he's looking at me. Must Be Good. The guest sat dowa , and frowned ! over the bill of fare in great perplexity. . "What's good ; today?" he inquired I of the waiter. "Stewed steak, sir," answered the other, promptly, and then, leaning ever the table, he added, . confidentially: "It's very good indeed, sir. The wait ers are having it themselves," ; If. v '"SI- ICABSE2LE (CABARET , xzzxz$rzz ass c4nn vrr.-