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About The Oregon daily journal. (Portland, Or.) 1902-1972 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 30, 1908)
t fOnpTrli. IWJ, r e. A. fJreelaf.J faj BINGVILLE BUG! In the BINCVILLE BUGLE . And 5 wmoi u LLJ .11 A JSfls AmBObY JHTTC&TtMtf WHO 15 HONEST AIN'T COT ENOUGH OTEFETmotf To TAI Wr& KNOCKED TLAT JBT THE OLE MLiSKST TO HAVE A RAZOR 30 cSHARF 1 KRS.ABS KTKKgR J51&CC3VERED TO HER corcrcKTiAnon ittat the JlU,y wdulohtjiXlI nHAAnn"mt gultv party ' nmrrr -arrp ItCTWKD 2Z GIVE IT OP HE WOULD GIT H15SaAKEESrcJ XI "V IV 3CJ T7C T03XT IV 13 VtT IE I Xt. IE :o WE print :o: Accldiaji, Mirrljgsi aod Scandals with Qrist Cheer j Because Ws Know Who Our Subscribers Is : print Job Vork :08. iiMt WALKtD CVtR AND OPENED IT tt) 5$ WHO THE, THUtTBTiRASHIOrr WAi MAKING 3ICH A HOIcSE M ARIOCH -RUTT A NAIL IN HIS BOOT AXILNTALLV IA2T WEEK THE . BINGVILLE : BUGLE! The Leading Paper of the County I Bright Breezy Bellicose Battling ftt How dotb the oner little be Iroprore each ehtnlng hour Br gathering hoary til the day From arery opening flour. The cheapest adrrrtlstng medlnm tn the country. If you beliere In RdTertislng, com and aee ne. For further Information call oo or addreaa tho editor. We have been turrihle hard drove up for a subjeckt to write a editorial about for ths week, be ing as we have went and exhaust ed most nearly everything in the editorial subjeckt line as you might say. When we was in most desper ate straights, Cy Hoskins dropped into the office and happened to make a remark that "Honesty is the best policy." Cy said this with reference to something we was conversing about, a subjeckt which we now forgit. That suggested a subjeckt for a editorial, viz., "Is Honesty the Best Policy?" We have our doubts whether it is or not, and we are not afeared to come right out flat-footed aivl say so, either. We observe that they as maintains that honesty is the best policy is generally those who has never tried the experi ment. There is Cy Hoskins. He has the audacity to say that hon esty is the best policy. What does Cy Hoskins know about honesty we ask, and we pause for a reply. Honesty might be the best pol icy perviding everybody was. hoa est, but where about nine-ferfths of the population of Bingville is liars and thieves, honesty don't seem to be much of a success. We have run the-Bugle f-r 'the last 30 odd vears on the theTv that honestv is i the best policv. ar.d what have we I got to show f-r it. prav, except a jbig subscription list of dead-beat j subscribers, and so manv obliga tions staring us in the face that we are only living from hand to mouth as we might saw We rec kon if wc had of been a rascal in stid of a paratron of virtue and in- tegntv we would now be a mil lionaire instid of a fit subjeckt for! a por-farm. It is our opinion that if you wish ' i succeed hnarhially in P-ing-vi!!e you have to be a rascal. Any Hndy in thi town who is honest ain't got fnn;;p!i competition to make it interesting. turn up their toes just to make business good for him, and it is ridirulous for him to even suggest such a thing. Locaf Items I.okle items is midst this week. very sc.irce in onr Sometimes lokle items is plenty and sometimes they ain't. Bale Hawkins purchased a new razor at Hen Wcthersby's store tother day, and in trying to shave himself liked to of cut his left ear off. Rale says he wishes it wasn't so sharp because he considers it ain't safe for a person to shave theirself with a razor that will do that. We hoped to be able to announce in this issue that we had secured one more subscriber,- but regret to report to the contrary. Wc tried to induce Jim Pea body from Sorrow Hollow to subscribe and after we thought we almost had him, Jim said that what was the use for him to subscribe to the Bugle and pay good money for it, when lie courtl read Sim Wilkins' Bugle, a nabor of his. This makes us disgusted. Mrs. Abe Skinner endeavored to put up some peach jelly last week and filled 23 glasses with same, only to discover to her consternation that the jelly wouldn't jell. She was awful put out about this, and Abe says she is so cusagreeahle since that he can t scaircely live in the same house with her. ' Mrs. Almira ITobbs appeared in the church choir last Sunday evening wearing what she called a Merry Widder Hat." It was about four feet acrost, and we calkilate it must have made Almira's head ake to carry such a hat about on her. X Last spring we asked you to take time by the forelock and pay up your back subscripshions to the Bugle before summer arrived. No attention was paid to this, so we now respectfully ask you to pay up your subscripshions before winter arrives. Simeon Underwood is suffering from a bealing in his ear. Sim says that his head ackes him so at times he wish he didn't have any head on his shoul ders. It is rather a peculiar incident to have a bealing in your ear in the summer time we thought beatings gen erally ocurred in the ear during the winter time. 1VHL WE I- m He Was Confine J for Two Days and Two Nights Without Food or Drink and Nearly Became De ceased Full Particu lars Fol'ering Dave Threatens to Move Davr Whittarrr, our peular ad ac commodating unertiker, m that un less business picks tip in fiis line he reckon he will move h:s family -tw-rr to Hardscrabhle to go into the under taking bumrt there,, heme as thst is a sictfr community and there ire more demises We rrgTrt that buMnrss in Dave's line is so bad, yet at the same time we are s4 that the strait efl the community is so jrvxl Dave can't Joke on Seifi The boys played a joke on Seth Dew berry, our liofl-hearted town c.onstubble, in Hen Weathersbs store the other night Seth went to sleep and Ranse Hillyer quietly unpinned his big tin star, which is Seth's insignia of office, from his coat, and dropped it into r . i. i i xi'i .t , rnns pocicei. r:rn etn woke up Hen asked him where his star was. and when Seth discovered it was gone l . , ne swore u naa Deen took ry some body present, and said if the guilty party didn't step forward and give it tyv he would git hisself arrested and punished to the full extent of the law on-the charge of intimidating an of ficer. "Maybe you left it in your pocket," says Ranse. When Seth fot'nd'the star in his pocket he looked kind of fool ish and went off home without saying "good-night" to anybody. Bod Painted the Cat Eud Hinkley, who ain't quite right in hi head, pa:nted their cle cat ToT again last week. Bud used some red paint he found down in the cellar. This i the 4th or 5th time Bod has pointed their tat within the last year, and you wonld naturally think the ret would be pretty sk"k of it by this time, being as a cat don't need a coat of paint oftrnrr than onct a rear. LATER Mrs H inkier gfre Bud a terrible lirkin for the above offence. aH Bud prcniicd-ts wxtv'-i rrrci La to expert car fzsiLJZiXzl " - v Clem Gegg, one of our most rc- speckted cittizens, who has no blemish on his past except that he was once convickted of stealing chickens, which, however, was a insienificant offence, and Clem has since lived it down, met with a indeskribable hardship on last Monday and Tuesday, which he will probably likely think of with loathing, regret and disgust to his dying day, and we don t blame him. Mehitabtc Clegg, who is Clem's wife, is as deef as a post, which everybody in Bingville knows, being as you haft to come right up and holler in he-p ear so loud it makes you hoarse before you can make her understand what you want to. For this reason what Clem and Mehitable talks about in the pri vacy of their own home ain't no secret, because their conversashion can be heard all over Bingville, speshially in the summer season when the winders is up. Last Sunday night Clem told Mehit able that he thought next morning he would walk to Hardscrabble, a distance of ten miles, to visit his brother John and see if John would lend him enough money to pay the interest on the mort gage which Ame Hillyer, our attorney and legal light, holds on Clem's house. When Monday morning arrived, how ever, the wether was so awful hot that Clem didn't have the heart to start out on the hoof fcr Hardscrabble, but took the hatchet and some nails and went down cellar to repair his potater bin. When Clem went down, Mehitable was upstairs airing the rooms, and when she came down and saw the door to the cellar door open she says to herself, "Land sake9, did I leave, that door open?" After-which she slammed it shut with a bang, locked it with a key and also with a heavy bolt. Then she set down to pare some apples for sass, thinking Clem had started on his trip to Hardscrabble. lo make a long story short. Clem come up stairs bv and by and found the door locked, where upon he knocked until he skun the skin offen his nuckles. Then he hollered and yelled for Mehitable to open the door and let him out, but what was the use? There sat Mehitable, not 5 ft. from the cellar door as calm and peace ful as you pleace, humming to herself and never hearing a sound in the world, being as she is so deef she wouldn't hear thunder. . There was no winders in the cellar through which Clem could holler to the nabors; on the contrary it was very dark and damp with only a board here and there on the dirt floor to prevent a person stepping into pools of water. Clem would cuss a while, then be would pray for deliverence, and when he got out of patience praying he would go hack to cussing again, but what was the use? Clem, who uses up a 10 et. plug of ehewin terbatker- every day and was ftn hi last chew when he pot shet down in the cellar, saH he couldn't make no his mind whether he would ruthef have had his freedom or chew of ter backer. Meanwhile, the time wore on Monday night came and went, as fer Clem there in the dark, he couldn't tell whether it was night or day outside. When Clem didn't show pp ionday ii'ght, Mehitable thpusrht he mart of had rrubNe persuading John to fire htm worry about him in the least. She thought Clem would be home sure by Tuesday evening, so by 5 o'clock she had a lug dinner waiting for him in the kitchen, and after she got it all ready she set down to wait fer Clem's arrival, while there was Clem with his eye glued to the keyhole of the door watching her wait fer him to come to dinner, and him there so near starved to death that he could hardly stand up Just then Ame Hillyer dropped in on Mehitable to find out when Clem per- posed to pay tne interest on that mort gag'e, and soon as Clem h eared Ame enter the kitchen he begin to hammer on the door hard enough to bust it. As a result Ame walked over and opened it to see who the thunderashion was making sich a noise, and out step ped Clem, the most woebeggon, be draggled looking specimen you most ever saw. Mehitable and Ame gasped with astonishment, but as fer Clem he pulled a chair right up to the table, set down and went to work on the vittles as if he had never had a bite to eat in his life. Clem says he wishes Mehit able wasn't so deef as much for his own sake as for hers. Personal Pretty hot spell of weather we have had and folks is complaining a good eal about it, but that don't make it no. cooler. It wouldn't do no harm if we was to have a wet rain in our midst at present, being as both the wells and landscape is very dry at the present writing, Hez Andrews reports that he has had one of his cows to go dry on him recnt. Hcz says he don't care much because the last several weeks she ain't been givin more than a qt. of milk, and who would mine a cow two times a day tor that ? Dad Henderson went squirrel hunting last Tuesday, but he didn't have any luck except bad luck. Dad took his ole musket and the 1st squirrel he seen he banged away, and the gun kicked so hard Dad was knocked flat down and thought for a while that his arm was broke. Dad thinks that being he is so absent-minded and forget full he must of put 3 or 4 loads In the musket. How ever that may be, he mist the squirrel. Hen Weathersby. prop, of our general store, is offering some great bargains in fly screens this week. Hen offers these screens for almost half price rather than carry them through the winter, and also bertuse he wishes to make room for new goods arriving daily. Jed Peters, the mtethgeht teacher of Bingville school, announces that school will begin Monday, Sept. 7, promptly at 9 a. m. Jed says the prospects is that he will have 5 or 6 scholars to start with, which he considers a pretty good starter for Bingville. Malicah Perkins seys he will pay 75 cents per day and board for a good hand to help him through harvest. Anyone desiring a position at this time had better see Malicah at once, for it will be only a short time until harvest is over and then Malicah wont need you. Silas Osgood of Hardscrabble was in Bingville visiting last Tuesday. Sy is respectable even if he does come from Hardscrabble. He seys that town is liourtsntng. out or course noDorty would expect him to say anythine else about the town he lives in even if he thinks to which he probahly does. 1 IP I Laun rare Country Correspondence SLAB CITY. Jemina Pepper of Hickory Corners drove here last Sunday to visit her sis ter, who was reported to Jemina to be sick and not expected to recover, but Jemina was considerably disappointed and surprised to find the rumor false. Jasper Tarbell hat a btmeh growing on bis nose which has got so big that it makes him look Yro-eyed most all the time. Most everybody tells Jasp that they persoojn it is a cancer. We I the interest money, and had resolved I hop JT aXa wrong but fear thev ajfl There will r a lawn Fate (or aa It t more commonly known In BlnKtllle "a grass party") Give Under The Trees on The Lawn in Front of The Bingville Church Next Satterday Ev'g ... beginning aarlr In the er'g and laittng nnttl 10 p. m. or later If cecesaaj?. This Function Will Be Give Under The Au spices of The Ladies' Aid Sassiety, anil the nriwaeda will r owl to par the Re?. Bam'l Mnnre, mir beliiTTed paator, a a mall pg anion of bla back aalary, WHICH IS NOW BACK Fl ICE CREAM COFFEE and CAKE W1H Bt Servtd, AJse PIES, BAKED BEANS, DOUGHNUTS, PICKLES, and ethtr dtlloaelti tot numtrtut tt mtnllen. Come one, com all, anil 011 np. Price for all ou ran eat, 2t eta., waather yon can eat twioe aa inucb r not. EAT TILL YOU BUST and thai help along a good ran. IMPORTANT. We arc alao thinking of making a tub rt lemnnada If we can And a couple nf lemona anywhere. run uur ui inn. wnwniE. Blngrlll. vr YEARS Sam Parker has purchased a cow ( from Wilson Miller. Considerashion j price paid for same we were Unable t learn. Arioch Wilkins run a nail in his foot axidentally last week. If Anoch wasn't too stingy to keep his boots half soled like they ort to be he wouldn t be sa apt to run nails in his feet. VOX POPULL 9 HARDSCRABBLE. Your correspondent has aeertainei that the Binrville Bugle has nrne reg ular subscribers in this town. In rpita of the fact that the Hardscrabble Ban ner is published here. Bill Haywood nas gone tnto the blacksmith ihop business m Hard scrabble which ha needed a blacksmith for sometime. Bui thooed 14 borset last week. Sim Goodwin our po'tmasfer run out of stamps recently and as a result fto leftert could be sent out of Hard scrabble for nearly a week or until more stamps arrived from Washing ton . Sarah Ann Cofcb was laid np with a tick headache last "Sunday. Sarah Ann sert that tmlest the ht a sick headache every Sunday the don't feci Wlural, OBSERVES, j
