t
fOnpTrli. IWJ, r e. A. fJreelaf.J
faj BINGVILLE BUG!
In the BINCVILLE BUGLE .
And 5 wmoi u
LLJ .11 A
JSfls
AmBObY JHTTC&TtMtf WHO 15 HONEST
AIN'T COT ENOUGH OTEFETmotf To
TAI Wr& KNOCKED TLAT JBT THE OLE MLiSKST
TO HAVE A RAZOR 30 cSHARF
1 KRS.ABS KTKKgR J51&CC3VERED TO HER
corcrcKTiAnon ittat the JlU,y wdulohtjiXlI
nHAAnn"mt gultv party ' nmrrr -arrp
ItCTWKD 2Z GIVE IT OP HE WOULD GIT H15SaAKEESrcJ
XI "V IV 3CJ T7C T03XT IV 13 VtT IE I Xt. IE
:o WE print :o:
Accldiaji, Mirrljgsi aod Scandals with Qrist Cheer
j Because Ws Know Who Our Subscribers Is
: print Job Vork
:08.
iiMt WALKtD CVtR AND OPENED IT tt) 5$ WHO THE, THUtTBTiRASHIOrr
WAi MAKING 3ICH A HOIcSE
M
ARIOCH -RUTT A NAIL IN HIS
BOOT AXILNTALLV IA2T WEEK
THE . BINGVILLE : BUGLE!
The Leading Paper of the County I
Bright Breezy Bellicose Battling
ftt
How dotb the oner little be
Iroprore each ehtnlng hour
Br gathering hoary til the day
From arery opening flour.
The cheapest adrrrtlstng medlnm tn the
country. If you beliere In RdTertislng, com
and aee ne. For further Information call oo
or addreaa tho editor.
We have been turrihle hard
drove up for a subjeckt to write a
editorial about for ths week, be
ing as we have went and exhaust
ed most nearly everything in the
editorial subjeckt line as you might
say.
When we was in most desper
ate straights, Cy Hoskins dropped
into the office and happened to
make a remark that "Honesty is
the best policy." Cy said this with
reference to something we was
conversing about, a subjeckt which
we now forgit. That suggested a
subjeckt for a editorial, viz., "Is
Honesty the Best Policy?"
We have our doubts whether it
is or not, and we are not afeared
to come right out flat-footed aivl
say so, either. We observe that
they as maintains that honesty is
the best policy is generally those
who has never tried the experi
ment. There is Cy Hoskins. He
has the audacity to say that hon
esty is the best policy. What does
Cy Hoskins know about honesty
we ask, and we pause for a reply.
Honesty might be the best pol
icy perviding everybody was. hoa
est, but where about nine-ferfths of
the population of Bingville is liars
and thieves, honesty don't seem to
be much of a success. We have
run the-Bugle f-r 'the last 30 odd
vears on the theTv that honestv is
i the best policv. ar.d what have we
I got to show f-r it. prav, except a
jbig subscription list of dead-beat
j subscribers, and so manv obliga
tions staring us in the face that we
are only living from hand to
mouth as we might saw We rec
kon if wc had of been a rascal in
stid of a paratron of virtue and in-
tegntv we would now be a mil
lionaire instid of a fit subjeckt for!
a por-farm.
It is our opinion that if you wish
' i succeed hnarhially in P-ing-vi!!e
you have to be a rascal. Any
Hndy in thi town who is honest
ain't got fnn;;p!i competition to
make it interesting.
turn up their toes just to make business
good for him, and it is ridirulous for
him to even suggest such a thing.
Locaf Items
I.okle items is
midst this week.
very sc.irce in onr
Sometimes lokle
items is plenty and sometimes they ain't.
Bale Hawkins purchased a new razor
at Hen Wcthersby's store tother day,
and in trying to shave himself liked to
of cut his left ear off. Rale says he
wishes it wasn't so sharp because he
considers it ain't safe for a person to
shave theirself with a razor that will
do that.
We hoped to be able to announce in
this issue that we had secured one more
subscriber,- but regret to report to the
contrary. Wc tried to induce Jim Pea
body from Sorrow Hollow to subscribe
and after we thought we almost had
him, Jim said that what was the use
for him to subscribe to the Bugle and
pay good money for it, when lie courtl
read Sim Wilkins' Bugle, a nabor of
his. This makes us disgusted.
Mrs. Abe Skinner endeavored to put
up some peach jelly last week and
filled 23 glasses with same, only to
discover to her consternation that the
jelly wouldn't jell. She was awful
put out about this, and Abe says she is
so cusagreeahle since that he can t
scaircely live in the same house with
her. '
Mrs. Almira ITobbs appeared in the
church choir last Sunday evening wearing
what she called a Merry Widder Hat."
It was about four feet acrost, and we
calkilate it must have made Almira's
head ake to carry such a hat about on
her. X
Last spring we asked you to take
time by the forelock and pay up your
back subscripshions to the Bugle before
summer arrived. No attention was paid
to this, so we now respectfully ask you
to pay up your subscripshions before
winter arrives.
Simeon Underwood is suffering from
a bealing in his ear. Sim says that his
head ackes him so at times he wish
he didn't have any head on his shoul
ders. It is rather a peculiar incident
to have a bealing in your ear in the
summer time we thought beatings gen
erally ocurred in the ear during the
winter time.
1VHL
WE
I-
m
He Was Confine J for Two Days and
Two Nights Without Food or
Drink and Nearly Became De
ceased Full Particu
lars Fol'ering
Dave Threatens to Move
Davr Whittarrr, our peular ad ac
commodating unertiker, m that un
less business picks tip in fiis line he
reckon he will move h:s family -tw-rr
to Hardscrabhle to go into the under
taking bumrt there,, heme as thst is
a sictfr community and there ire more
demises We rrgTrt that buMnrss in
Dave's line is so bad, yet at the same
time we are s4 that the strait efl
the community is so jrvxl Dave can't
Joke on Seifi
The boys played a joke on Seth Dew
berry, our liofl-hearted town c.onstubble,
in Hen Weathersbs store the other
night Seth went to sleep and Ranse
Hillyer quietly unpinned his big tin
star, which is Seth's insignia of office,
from his coat, and dropped it into
r . i. i i xi'i .t ,
rnns pocicei. r:rn etn woke up
Hen asked him where his star was.
and when Seth discovered it was gone
l . ,
ne swore u naa Deen took ry some
body present, and said if the guilty
party didn't step forward and give it
tyv he would git hisself arrested and
punished to the full extent of the law
on-the charge of intimidating an of
ficer. "Maybe you left it in your pocket,"
says Ranse. When Seth fot'nd'the star
in his pocket he looked kind of fool
ish and went off home without saying
"good-night" to anybody.
Bod Painted the Cat
Eud Hinkley, who ain't quite right
in hi head, pa:nted their cle cat ToT
again last week. Bud used some red
paint he found down in the cellar. This
i the 4th or 5th time Bod has pointed
their tat within the last year, and you
wonld naturally think the ret would
be pretty sk"k of it by this time, being
as a cat don't need a coat of paint
oftrnrr than onct a rear.
LATER Mrs H inkier gfre Bud a
terrible lirkin for the above offence.
aH Bud prcniicd-ts wxtv'-i rrrci La to
expert car fzsiLJZiXzl " - v
Clem Gegg, one of our most rc-
speckted cittizens, who has no blemish
on his past except that he was once
convickted of stealing chickens, which,
however, was a insienificant offence,
and Clem has since lived it down, met
with a indeskribable hardship on last
Monday and Tuesday, which he will
probably likely think of with loathing,
regret and disgust to his dying day,
and we don t blame him.
Mehitabtc Clegg, who is Clem's wife,
is as deef as a post, which everybody
in Bingville knows, being as you haft
to come right up and holler in he-p ear
so loud it makes you hoarse before you
can make her understand what you
want to. For this reason what Clem
and Mehitable talks about in the pri
vacy of their own home ain't no secret,
because their conversashion can be
heard all over Bingville, speshially in
the summer season when the winders
is up.
Last Sunday night Clem told Mehit
able that he thought next morning he
would walk to Hardscrabble, a distance
of ten miles, to visit his brother John
and see if John would lend him enough
money to pay the interest on the mort
gage which Ame Hillyer, our attorney
and legal light, holds on Clem's house.
When Monday morning arrived, how
ever, the wether was so awful hot that
Clem didn't have the heart to start out
on the hoof fcr Hardscrabble, but took
the hatchet and some nails and went
down cellar to repair his potater bin.
When Clem went down, Mehitable was
upstairs airing the rooms, and when
she came down and saw the door to
the cellar door open she says to herself,
"Land sake9, did I leave, that door
open?" After-which she slammed it
shut with a bang, locked it with a key
and also with a heavy bolt. Then she
set down to pare some apples for sass,
thinking Clem had started on his trip
to Hardscrabble. lo make a long
story short. Clem come up stairs bv and
by and found the door locked, where
upon he knocked until he skun the skin
offen his nuckles. Then he hollered
and yelled for Mehitable to open the
door and let him out, but what was the
use? There sat Mehitable, not 5 ft.
from the cellar door as calm and peace
ful as you pleace, humming to herself
and never hearing a sound in the world,
being as she is so deef she wouldn't
hear thunder. .
There was no winders in the cellar
through which Clem could holler to the
nabors; on the contrary it was very
dark and damp with only a board here
and there on the dirt floor to prevent
a person stepping into pools of water.
Clem would cuss a while, then be would
pray for deliverence, and when he got
out of patience praying he would go
hack to cussing again, but what was the
use? Clem, who uses up a 10 et. plug
of ehewin terbatker- every day and was
ftn hi last chew when he pot shet down
in the cellar, saH he couldn't make no
his mind whether he would ruthef
have had his freedom or chew of ter
backer. Meanwhile, the time wore on
Monday night came and went, as fer
Clem there in the dark, he couldn't tell
whether it was night or day outside.
When Clem didn't show pp ionday
ii'ght, Mehitable thpusrht he mart of had
rrubNe persuading John to fire htm
worry about him in the least. She
thought Clem would be home sure by
Tuesday evening, so by 5 o'clock she
had a lug dinner waiting for him in
the kitchen, and after she got it all
ready she set down to wait fer Clem's
arrival, while there was Clem with his
eye glued to the keyhole of the door
watching her wait fer him to come to
dinner, and him there so near starved
to death that he could hardly stand up
Just then Ame Hillyer dropped in on
Mehitable to find out when Clem per-
posed to pay tne interest on that mort
gag'e, and soon as Clem h eared Ame
enter the kitchen he begin to hammer
on the door hard enough to bust it.
As a result Ame walked over and
opened it to see who the thunderashion
was making sich a noise, and out step
ped Clem, the most woebeggon, be
draggled looking specimen you most
ever saw. Mehitable and Ame gasped
with astonishment, but as fer Clem he
pulled a chair right up to the table, set
down and went to work on the vittles
as if he had never had a bite to eat in
his life. Clem says he wishes Mehit
able wasn't so deef as much for his
own sake as for hers.
Personal
Pretty hot spell of weather we have
had and folks is complaining a good eal
about it, but that don't make it no.
cooler.
It wouldn't do no harm if we was to
have a wet rain in our midst at present,
being as both the wells and landscape
is very dry at the present writing,
Hez Andrews reports that he has had
one of his cows to go dry on him recnt.
Hcz says he don't care much because
the last several weeks she ain't been
givin more than a qt. of milk, and who
would mine a cow two times a day tor
that ?
Dad Henderson went squirrel hunting
last Tuesday, but he didn't have any
luck except bad luck. Dad took his ole
musket and the 1st squirrel he seen he
banged away, and the gun kicked so
hard Dad was knocked flat down and
thought for a while that his arm was
broke. Dad thinks that being he is so
absent-minded and forget full he must
of put 3 or 4 loads In the musket. How
ever that may be, he mist the squirrel.
Hen Weathersby. prop, of our general
store, is offering some great bargains in
fly screens this week. Hen offers these
screens for almost half price rather than
carry them through the winter, and also
bertuse he wishes to make room for
new goods arriving daily.
Jed Peters, the mtethgeht teacher of
Bingville school, announces that school
will begin Monday, Sept. 7, promptly at
9 a. m. Jed says the prospects is that
he will have 5 or 6 scholars to start
with, which he considers a pretty good
starter for Bingville.
Malicah Perkins seys he will pay 75
cents per day and board for a good
hand to help him through harvest.
Anyone desiring a position at this
time had better see Malicah at once,
for it will be only a short time until
harvest is over and then Malicah wont
need you.
Silas Osgood of Hardscrabble was
in Bingville visiting last Tuesday. Sy
is respectable even if he does come
from Hardscrabble. He seys that town
is liourtsntng. out or course noDorty
would expect him to say anythine else
about the town he lives in even if he
thinks to which he probahly does.
1 IP I
Laun rare
Country Correspondence
SLAB CITY.
Jemina Pepper of Hickory Corners
drove here last Sunday to visit her sis
ter, who was reported to Jemina to be
sick and not expected to recover, but
Jemina was considerably disappointed
and surprised to find the rumor false.
Jasper Tarbell hat a btmeh growing
on bis nose which has got so big that
it makes him look Yro-eyed most all
the time. Most everybody tells Jasp
that they persoojn it is a cancer. We
I the interest money, and had resolved I hop JT aXa wrong but fear thev ajfl
There will r a lawn Fate (or aa It t more
commonly known In BlnKtllle "a grass party")
Give Under The Trees on
The Lawn in Front of
The Bingville Church
Next Satterday
Ev'g ...
beginning aarlr In the er'g and laittng nnttl
10 p. m. or later If cecesaaj?.
This Function Will Be
Give Under The Au
spices of The Ladies'
Aid Sassiety,
anil the nriwaeda will r owl to par the Re?.
Bam'l Mnnre, mir beliiTTed paator, a a mall pg
anion of bla back aalary,
WHICH IS NOW
BACK Fl
ICE CREAM
COFFEE and
CAKE
W1H Bt Servtd, AJse PIES, BAKED BEANS,
DOUGHNUTS, PICKLES, and ethtr dtlloaelti
tot numtrtut tt mtnllen.
Come one, com all, anil 011 np. Price for all
ou ran eat, 2t eta., waather yon can eat twioe
aa inucb r not.
EAT TILL YOU BUST
and thai help along a good ran.
IMPORTANT.
We arc alao thinking of making a tub rt
lemnnada If we can And a couple nf lemona
anywhere.
run uur ui inn. wnwniE.
Blngrlll.
vr
YEARS
Sam Parker has purchased a cow (
from Wilson Miller. Considerashion j
price paid for same we were Unable t
learn.
Arioch Wilkins run a nail in his foot
axidentally last week. If Anoch wasn't
too stingy to keep his boots half soled
like they ort to be he wouldn t be sa
apt to run nails in his feet.
VOX
POPULL
9 HARDSCRABBLE.
Your correspondent has aeertainei
that the Binrville Bugle has nrne reg
ular subscribers in this town. In rpita
of the fact that the Hardscrabble Ban
ner is published here.
Bill Haywood nas gone tnto the
blacksmith ihop business m Hard
scrabble which ha needed a blacksmith
for sometime. Bui thooed 14 borset
last week.
Sim Goodwin our po'tmasfer run
out of stamps recently and as a result
fto leftert could be sent out of Hard
scrabble for nearly a week or until
more stamps arrived from Washing
ton .
Sarah Ann Cofcb was laid np with
a tick headache last "Sunday. Sarah
Ann sert that tmlest the ht a sick
headache every Sunday the don't feci
Wlural, OBSERVES, j