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About The Oregon daily journal. (Portland, Or.) 1902-1972 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 16, 1904)
niE OREGON DAITiT JOUBNAL, PORTLAND. SATUKDAY ETEylyo; JANUARY 10. 1904. - XWALLOW ME, MY WEAR - , nYOEAR AL-G .SOU WITH TH5E VOLEN .- , ,. ' i SPXJSS" ) . nk vr y ,.-BEFOS8 - - .AFIEB . . JEREMIADS UP-TO-DATE FRESH FROM NEW MEXICO ' "Jerry Elmpson, who at 6ne time at tempted to save the country, and alone with the Pfeffer whiskers, Carrie Na tion and real estate booms made Kansas famous. Is one of the thoroughbreds In the bunch of cattlemen "who are enter taining; the people of Portland, and In cidentally looking after the interests of the stock industry. In a confidential confession "Jerry" told of fals political sins of the past He- Bald ' ,v . -r-.4it . . "Yoy would not think It, but at 'one time ,1 thoughMt was my duty to save 'the country. "At that' time I, did 'not reallie how big 'the country is, and did not know the people of Oregon, or I would not even have attempted to re-. lorra mem, as i am now morougniy convinced that they are hopeless a tarn pedera,, - who would not even . follow a belL wether from Kansas, - My great bid to fame as a statesman .has been " ther giving ' of widespread fame td ox lessness. .:. .' ' , ...- Bit Passionate Boss.. : , . "In the history, of the far future may te enrolled the name f Simpson, along with:, the other barefooted . boys, who ' comprise all . the real great men the nation ever produced. .But, returning to the subjeot of hosiery, I have changed my ways," and with this the sage from the sagebrush district of New Mexico , coyly elevated a trouaer leg and exposed , to view a passionate patch of red stock ing, such as is sometimes observed on a rainy day in Portland.' . . .Troubles in Bleeding Kansas. ' : . . "My troubles in the Sunflower state were many," said the statesman. "Kan- , aas has the reputation of raising more hades to the square mile than any other atate in the Union. About the time I made my debut before the public, Kan- ' sas was doing her most strenuous stunt that .of Populism. Cyclones and grasshoppers had previously given net a reputation, and anyone from Kansas was looked upon as a warm article that should hot be taken seriously. On this ' Ime I let the people have their way and enjoy themselves." , Politics Is a Plaything. ... In expressing his opinion on political , parties. "Jerry' let the Blmpaoniaa . smile creep over his face and settled : the problem by telling the .following tory: ' "Down In New Mexico a man was murdered and robbed. 'The man guilty of the crime was caught and confessed tn open court. The judge asked hira the amount of money, he took from the dead man, to which the prisoner re plied: "Fifteen cents.' '"What else did you getr was asked. The answer was: 'A dinner pall.' "What was in the dinner pall?'- 1 'A piece of bread and a piece of meat,' was the reply. (-"What did you do with tha IS cents?" " 1 bought beer.' "What did you do with the pallT " 1 used It to put the beer In." '"What did you do with the breadr . " "I ate it.' ' ""What did you do with the meatr ,."'Oh, I throwed it away, as it was Friday.' ("The positions of the political parties are about the same as that of the man who would murder another for 15 cents and then he too good to eat meat on Friday. They knife great and impor tant, issues without scruple, and Kick like steers against aome petty leglala- "Th mm who ntlnta hii bourn of com fort i hut clTef tbo dxrll Ma Hardman Economy Is the best kind of piano economy. ' It is poor economy to buy a poor piano. The Hardman Piano la strictly high grade from every standpoint. Its chaate design of canes. Its delicate action, and Its beautiful tone make it a most do- eirable Instrument for the home. We do not hesitate to place our honor In tha faith ul performance of the Hardman. We will Make It Tery Easy for Ton to Own a Hardman. Id I Giert'DwIer (o. Oldest, largest, Strongest. ' .COR. SIXTH AND MORRISON STS - - Opposite Fostoffloe.-f .- ALPMOISSE AND Q ASTON AT tton that don't amount to anything any way." ! In a more serious vein, Mr. Simpson continued: ' . .'. Politics is for either tha rich or tha dishonest. A poor man has no business to try and make a success. , He may raise bis vole and cry out, for right, but under those' circumstances he wilt not be In office nmg. If ha la rich ha can use politics as a plaything, and If he ia dishonest he can maka some money out of it, but under other circumstances If he has only right and brains on his side he will not cut much permanent Ice In tha political arena." tory of While sidestepping Roman candles in the Chinatown celebration, Mr. Bimp- son managed to sandwich In the follow tag story as being pertinent to tha gulle--of-4herlentala:-:'-u.i.J-.-.i. "When I waa in congress and resid ing at the capital, a friend who for con venience and future peace I will call Smith, waa .there wtih. huswife, who was ample In also and dignity. They hired a Chlneae cook called IA Hung Chang. The lady etated to the chink that-, aha could not remember his name and for abort would call hira John. The Chinaman replied: .'Very vellle, now wha chee name I calls youf 'My name is Mrs. Wetherly Bmlth, and I want you to call me' that' The answer was: "Oh, - ma can no lemember ao biggee pieces namee; I callee you Jimmied" K Philosophy of Chance. - v III discussing the gambling problem. Mr. Simpson philosophised thusly; "As I understand it, Portland la saturated with the spirit of speculation. She throws up her hands in horror over tha operation of a slot machine, 'and com placently encourages the visitation of the stockmen, and takes the chance that sme of them, who may have a Juicy past, like myself, may become in fatuated with your mist, kettle down here and ruthlessly destroy your po litical . harmony. But to revert to gambling, I can in a measure defend It, without offending the gamblers. I my- self am a hot sport when it comes .to wAuii imuvcfl, Ait jvs nana yulllltw it was a matter of speculation whether I would win out as a statesman or be classed among the crowd advocating tha free and unlimited distribution of paper money. Now in the sheep bustnesa I gamble that my lamba will survive to produce wool and make profitable sub jects for mutton stew. The most widely recognised axiom in life is "nothing is certain.' Politics, religion, trade, com merce, agriculture, etockralslng, mar riage and every venture la based on a chance to profit or gain by the expendi ture of either time or money. Tie faro bank -may be the rapid 'xnethod of win ning or losing, yet tha- same broad, gen eral principle of chance enters into every action of life," . .. Mr. Simpson os Bunko, ; "The average person does not like to be humbugged, and la quick to detect an imposition. But when a amooth indi vidual comes alone and-hands' them a bunch, they take off their hats to hlml.1 I hat is the reason why some men who; if they had their Just dues, should be in the penitentiary Instead of living oa the fat of the land." . .. ; .- Crawfish and Rockefeller. "I wouldn't change places with old Koskefeller for all of his wealth," re marked Jerry Simpson, as he surveyed before him on hie plate the wreck of; two dozen Portland crawfish. ''He offered Jl.OOO.Ooo for a atomach." Colonel Wilson Butts In. "That reminds me," began the one time "Sockless Jerry." by way of intro duction to one of his yarns, "of a algn t saw in Chicago. ' , "What reminds you?" queried Col. L. F. Wilson of Texas, tightening his re volver bUt, for he was hungry. "Why, the way the people of Portland are fall ing over themselves entertalnln' us. They are aurely doin' the best they can. You sec there was a band playln' inside a store, and the proprietor had put up this sign outside the door: 'Pon't shoot this bund; it is doing the best it can.' " Western Ponr-Tear-Olds. Jerry Simpson, late of Kansas, tells the following story aa related by an pld stockman! "The reason why there are so many good men In the West is the same aa when you drive a big band of cattle. The strongest bull takes the lead, and the smaller and weaker ones droplgut.alpng the way. The '4-year-olds' are on the Pacific coast and the farther east you get the smaller the herd." ' roll of Bis Subject. ? The New Mexican is accused of hav ing loitered about camp meetings when young. Anyhow he tella this Church story: .-,,; . v me -moderator , waa announcing a speaker:- 'Rev.-John J ones will --now speak. He is an able man and full of THE LIVESTOCK CONVENTION. his subject . Bla subject Is 'The Devil." ' " ' . ," "Mr. President" ' ' "Senator Simpson." "Vice-President 8pringer." ' "You're unanimously elected." This la just a little exchange of com pliments between Hon. Jerry Simpson of New Mexico 'and retiring Prealdent Springer of tha National- Livestock as sociation. For" Jerry waa once a Kan sas congressman, who Is In New Mex ico, which Is soon to be' a state, when Jerry may be but that is dealing In futures. - It Is . rumored - that Springer has yearninga to be tha second In com mand of tha ship of atate. There wa-tha irace of a wink in tha off eye of Jerry Simpson aa the tug bearing tha atockmen to tha niouth of the Columbia scraped over the bar and began to bob tn the briny blue. - j'Watch Jerry - cough tup -his - socks. He's never been on tha water before," whispered tha new president Frank Hagenbarth to his friend Charley Mar tin. For both-men had bean at aea be fore. Still -the New 'Mexican smiled and when the craft finally entered tha river again with a majority of tha passen gers hanging limp over tha starboard rail, Jerry waa viewing tha scene from the for'ard deck with his feet braced In true aallor fashion. , "Puts ma, In, mind." ha drawled, "of the Great ... Lakes. You see," and; that famous smile began to spread, "I fol lowed the aea for 24 years." . As Other Sea BamTJ r "What doea Jerry Simpson look like?" everyone asks. Well, he ia 61 years of age and of medium height Hla hair is thick and black, but hla short -cropped mustache in streaked with gray. He weara a long-tailed Prince Albert coat and light trousers, and socks, red socks. His face la bronxed with : exposure to the weather and seared by the hand of time. His eyes are dark and piercing, and when he smiles the wrinkles ruffle his forehead and expand from his eyea. TAXUB Or CBABCOAE. raw People Xnow How Useful It la 1m Preeervinf Xealtk and Beauty. Nearly everybody knows that charcoal Is the safest and most efficient disinfec tant and purifier in nature, but few real ise lta value when taken Into the human ayatem for tha same cleansing purpose. Charcoal la a remedy that the mora you take of It the better; it Is not a drug at all. but simply absorbs the gases and impurities alwaya preaent In the atomach and Intestines and carrlea them out of the ayatem. Charcoal aweetene tha breath after amoklng, drinking, or after eating on ions and other odorous vegetables. Charcoal effectually cleara and In. proves tha eomplextlon, it whitens the teeth and further acta aa a natural and eminently aafa cathartic. It abaorba the Injurious gases which collect In tha atomach and bowels; it disinfects tha mouth and throat from tne poison or caiarrn. ' ' All druggists sell ' charcoal In form or another, but probably tha beat charcoal and the most for the money Is In -Stuart's Absorbent Losenges; they are composed of the finest , powdered Willow charcoal, and other harmless sntlseptlos tn tablet form, or rather In the form of large, pleasant tasting los enges, tha charcoal being mixed with honey. : The dally use of these losenges will soon tell In a much Improved condition of the general health, better complexion. wnicr irin anu purnr 01000, and the beauty of it la. that no noasfhu ham. can reault from their continued use, but, on the contrary, great benefit . A Buffalo physician. In speaking of the beneflta of charcoal, says: "I ad vise Stuart'a Absorbent IOzenges to all patlenta Buffering from gaa In atomach and bowels, and to clear the complexion puniy in ornain, moutn and throat; I also believe the liver Is greatly benefited by the dally uae of them; they coat but twenty-five centa a box at - drug atores, and although In some sense a patent preparation, yet I believe I get more and better charcoal In Stuart's Absorbent Losenges than la any of tha ordinary charcoal tablets." CHINA LINER OANFA CARRIED BIG LOAD (Journal Special Bervlct.) s Tacoma, Jan. H. The big China Mutual liner Oanfa sailed last night with a cargo valued at nearly f 400,000. A feature of th cargo waa tha shipment of 45,5ft bushels of wheat and th senger agent and B. WV Greer, general largest .portion of her 10,000 barrels Irrelght agent, went over last night to of flour to Japan. The steamer -ai arrange for wnarfaga at Seattle. They loaded to her full capacity. Always Rcmfnbcr th Pall Nam j t cxativo Urono A&jCw Caret Cold bOaeDav. Crda 2 Div - ..... " - , . .. . , . , . . . MODEL NEW RESORT OPENED TODAY The Hew OwV Corner' Tlf th and Aider traeta, Throw a Opaa Thla Afternoon at I O'Clock to tha General Public The New Owl, corner Fifth and Alder streets, "Doc" H. O. Brown' new re sort, wishes to announce to tha general publlo that the place ia now ready for business and general entertainment of Its guests. . v .- Tha features of the New Owl will be the excellent quality of gooda dispensed over tha bar, which will be tha very beat that money , can buy, with. , the Old Crow, the leader In tha lines of whla kex. .. i "w. v.; -,s . . ; "i , Tha fixtures of this handsome resort wera furnished by the'.Mearle & Heaney Co. bf Chicago, through Rothchild Broa. of this city. The bar fixtures were es pecially designed for this place and it is expressing It very mildly wben It la stated that they are unique and' beau tiful In design. v-V.. '.:-r i . T Tha hlQlard tables ande Pullman set tees in the Bohemian room, adjoining the bar, are designed and finished after th same unique style aa tha barroom. Aa a gentlemen s resting resort it )i doubtless; if it could be furnished for arranged with ' mor comfort. Every thing- that goea to make up in up-to- date gentlemen a resort la her found. ' The wall and celling decorationa were don by Chrlatenaon ft Co.' of this city, and reflect great credit on that firm for tha beauty and orlgiaality her dis played. . .' ' i Tha handsome i chandeliers and equip ments which are scattered about with an artistic idea of decorating and lighting tbia resort were furnished by Barrett CO. '..' -v. The art glass work waa don by Povey Bros, of this city, and in thla particular instance tha firm mentioned has out stripped all previous effort on their part for something new In art glass. The draperies and kindred effecta ahow such tastea aa are alwaya displayed by that popular firm of Tull & Glbbs of .this city. . ' . ., . . " . v Last but not least, is tha coin collec tion,' which, for the benefit of his pa trons and the general public, "Doc" has placed upon display. Thla ia one of tha nicest and rarest private collection ever exhibited. The gem of thla collec tion la, of courae, the 1804 dollar, tho finest known specimen in the- world to day, and the. pnly one exhibited under similar circumstances, and "Doc" will pay 13,600 cash for lta equal. Ther are, bf courae, many other gema In thla collec tion, notably th early territorial gold. Tha largest piece In the collection la the four Paler copper piece of Swedish plate money, weighing over six pounds. Th set comprises four pieces, of four, two, one and half-daler. Th smallest coin ia one thlrty-aecond of a duoat gold, of Nuremberg, a little larger than a plnhead, worth about seven cents. The oldest piece la from about th aeventh century B. C. Tha money displayed In this collection is of ail denomination and sixes. ;'.:,........ "Doc" Brown, the proprietor. Is an old timer on the coaat and is well known. The latch-atrlng hangs out and a hearty welcome la extended to all. Sea the New Owl and th coin collection. MERRILL TO OPERATE A THEATRE CIRCUIT (Journal Special aerrice.) Spokane, Wash., Jan. 16. Fred T. Merrill and F. Lincoln of Portland are In the city, making arrangements for atartlog the" new "Edison" theatre th 10th of February. Mr. Lincoln la con nected with th Edison Display com pany, operating IS theatrea in th North- weat, at .North Yakima, Walla Walla, Portland, Astoria, Aberdeen, Hoqulam, Tacoma, Seattle, Everett Whatcom, Vancouver and Victoria. Th circuit will book with th Orauman and Lubel sky ciroult, operating in California, and aa-far east aa Denver. The largest thea tre on tha line will be at Portland. HSW 8TXAMXB TO BTTH, ' (Journal BpecUl Service.) ' Victoria, B. C, Jan. If. The Canadian Pacific Railroad company haa decided to put a steamer on tha run between .Vic torta and Seattle. Practically all tha ahipping houses irt Victoria signed an agreement last - night to turn all their trade In th direction Of that company If a vessel la put on. Officials of the Canadian Pacific railroad, including Captain Troupe, superintendent of th coast fleet; E. J. Coyie. general pas will put the steamer Princess Beatrice , . ,. eatvery BEFOBE BEFORE BEFORE ' Has been with on of the greatest living practitioners and teacher of th world famous f rom center to 'circumference of ..civilized creation Illustration showing how he tranaforma hideous Countenances into . thing of beauty. Madame Holmea assisted in many of these most difficult operations. "Renowned before, ah lsbetter than ever qualified to fashion handsome faces out of the very poorest material. , i , 'Madam Asa Holmes, well known In Portland as an , expert In tha treatment of skin afflictions and facial distortions, arrived home yesterday after a long season of lnatructlon In th Dr. A. L, Nelden aani tarlurn," Nw Torkv whither aha went for the purpose of "acquiring knowledge' of that great practitioner' methods of beautifying th human countenance by correcting ' featural dleflguramehta occasioned by accident - Ahml-t at muacles of the face or . Tha lady I delighted with her experience! with that celebrated physician. It Is Interesting. lndd, to Us-"' ; ten to her dseorjption of the many-Intricate case brought, td tha doctor1 Banltaiium. . Th . sight la mor . wonderful than any exhibition of curiosities ever gathered together in the world. Patients are there from all -j part of th universe, the sanitarium being crowded to lta utmost capacity, and th doctor and 'several agilatanta are constantly employed in correcting the hateful ailments of those, who are financially able to ' pay their thousands for a new nose, a symmetrical forehead, a dimple ,in the chin or cheek, or some other adornment that improvea the look. These features of rhinoplastlo surgery have been one of the earnest studies of the doctor's life, but. In addition he baa given special attention to the science of dermatology, and ; there 1 not another school In either. Europe or America at well prepared to Impart Instruction in this par- , tlpular atudy; : It will, therefore, be readily acknowledged that although previously well equipped for th treat ment of these torments of human life. Madam Holmes haa added to her previously ripened knowledge: th -polish of perfection that placea her In th front rank of those of her profession In the United States. It is ' not likely that she has an equal West of, the country' great metropolis, and her career of usefulness must' , now' be at its height. - -, - ' Of her recent 'instructor, th New Tork Herald says: ' ' ' . ' . .- ' : "As Dr. Lorens haa astonished American surgeon with his new methods of correcting deformities of the hip. ao Dr. Nelden has astonished the entire medical p rof essloo. both abroad and in this country with hi . ' narveloua aklll in correcting featural deformities. , ; "The featural peculiarities of each race are now ao eaaily altered and the Bertillon system made no longer ' : a Safe and reliable method of identifying criminals, by Dr. Nelden'a skillful change, of all the features of the face. . - i- ... . ' "Dr. Nelden an bring out tha good and suppress tha bad In your face. Nearly everyone haa some bad . points and ever ao simple a-treatment makes a wonderful change for the good. . "Dr. Nelden'a experience haa extended over many years and he seea and treats each day more caaes than . a dosen regular physicians see erlenc and practice, giving each patient careful individual attention ana tne most scientino treatment. .. nown. arives excentlonal results when othera fait Thla la the first time a prominent and regular physician - has devoted all hla time and attention to tnese specialties. "If you or any of your frienda have any disgusting eruption on th face, any unsightly blemishes, any ' distorted or irregular features. ' ' , . I . ! ' - "If your nose Is too large (roman), too small (a pug), or sunken, or th end cverhanga, It can be mad regular and straight 1 ' ''' ' ' . . . "If your eara are too large and stick out, they can be mad small, and as tight to the head aa yon wish., . If you have wrinkle over or under tho eyes. In th forehead, aide of th face, and a loose,, double chin,, you., can hav them removed." : ,., , . - .. v , . , . . , ' , . .. ' "' '-jJ' .' l' lhy:) a i;: ''fi'':1. ' -''.' .. '. v" - - f-:r . These euloglums of Dr. Nelden are printed only to Inform the reader of th expertness of Madam ' Holme' recent instructor, and the deduction therefrom must be that the lady Is barter prepared than ' . she aver was before to care for th facet of men and women of this city and state, who may stand tn need : ' of services such as she ia competent to render. ; 8b Bay that there are no scar of tha physlogonomy ah can-" not remove; this in addition to th skill requisite to the removal of smallpox plttings, wrinkles,' freckles, . ' birthmarks or other things that maka for ugliness f th fae. v , -.,. , On Monday next yi madam will reopen her parlors at 864 Morrison, near Parle ' Her three year fx , perlenc In thla alty haa won for the confidence of all with whom ah haa performed a service, great or small,' ; Her telephone number la Hood 282., , ".'' BEHNKE-WALKER BUSINESS COLLEGE STBABBS BLOCK, , r KXTK ABB XOBBISOB. ' ... ! ' If you are thinking of attending bus iness college. It is to your Interact to call on us. ' 1 . " " ' Bnslnas course, mo... ...... .50 Shorthand course, mo.. . ...... 60 r Telegraphy onrse, 6 mos.... .... SO ' ''.inm luHiTHi nomblned. a naoa. . . . 10 ' Two oourses combined, U mos.. . 90 -Bight ehool, mo.. ........... S .'W secure positions for all our grad uates.-:. . ; .-. ..Y: -: ; Individual instrnotlon. Opaa all th yea. . BBBB T OB CATALOOTJX. on th run about Monday or Tuesday next; , -'Y -Y ' Y ' Y,- ' ' TACOMA THEATRES , - BEING) REGULATED ; . ' ' t , 1 . J (jonrnal Special BerTloe.)' v Tacoma, Jan, If. Mayor - Campbell has ordered th building inspector and the chief of tha fir department to make an Investigation of the theatres in thla city and as a. result of their Investiga tion radical changes must be made be fore the buildings will comply with the city, ordinances.' Tli Lyceum theatre AFTE&' -BEFORE AFTER BEFOXS AFTER . .. . '!bEF01B ' - AFTEK' MADAM HOLMES HAS RETURNED FROM SCHOOL brouaht about bv dlseaaa or -aealect .of the in a monin. . e goes to Europe annuauy. IS CHEAPEST Grc Shorthand Touch Typewriting Budget System of Easiness Bookkeeping These three systems are taught In our school and are taught in more public and private schools than any otljer three systems combined.. . OBSOO BXOBTHAtrs is easiest to learn, eaaieat to writ, eaaieat to read. BVBOXT ITS TEX OP BTJSIBTESS BOOKKXXPZBO) thoroughly qualifies you for the duties of a flrst-claaa accountant - . . . TOUCH TTPBWBZTZBO) la tha solantlne Tnethod of operating th type writer by aensa of touch. Gives absolute commandsof. every key, , Day and Wight School. ' Opaa All th Tar. Pree Catalogn. . ' HOLMES BUSINESS COLLEGE t- TAMinLL AND ELEVENTH BTBBETB " ' " will probably b forced to cloa down until the repairs are made. It lacks a brick wall and an .aabestoa curtain te. tween the stage and tha auditorium, also automatlo , pkyllghta. f, Broader stairways must be -built. ' BBBBOBST WOUXB PBOfBCTJTB. (Jmirnil Special Borrlee.) . Ventura, Cat, Jan. 1. J. r. Mcln tyre, secretafy of, th Btat Beekeepers' association, la sending out letter to the beemeri of the atat asking them to con' tribute to a fund to secure evidence against the'-honey adulterators. The National association will conduct the prosecution of the cases., , ' -tf ' - t TO OtTBB A COLD IB OBB BAT. . Tike l,xctlT riromo Qnlnlne Tablets. . AU dniKKist refund the meney If It fill to ear. E. w. Orovt't tlgnature Is oa each b.a , " . AFTER. I, AFTER, ordlnarv laws of nature. ' ine eecrei oi success: xong ex- , M ' BTXB BZPOBB Jecause'of Im t roved faollltJea. RnnATiM lnatructlon la spelling, grammar, writ lug, arithmetic eorreapondeoo. com meroial law, bookkeeping, . baslneM forma, ahorthand, typewriting, offlo work. ta Hundred of our graduate are now In business for themselves, or at work for others aa bookkeeper and stenographers thousand mor will be. Ope all th year. 'Student admit any tlm. Catalogue free. PORTLANp BUSINESS COLLtCS . PABB ABB WAIBZBOTOB. .. A, T. 4MiaTMpMKXA, , , .txlwrnrt. ' ' ' BOW TXAB r