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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 17, 1908)
THE MORNING ASTORIAN, ASTOMAi OREGON. WEDNESDAY, SEPT.' 16 mm mi Plans to Deliver Telling Speech, but Audience Fails to Show Up. PEOPLE DON'T WANT REFORM Janitor and Two Reporters on Hand, but Thoy Had to Bo Thort, aa It Wat Mattor of Business With Thorn. Several Look In. ICopyrlfht, 1908, by T. C. McCluro. For four consecutive evenings Mr. ' Bowser had spent two hours each trenlnx In the library and had refused - to explain his action to Mrs. Bowser. Bhe knew that he bad been writing . and hunting up statistics, but could . get no further. For four days and nights he went around with a deter mined and heroic look on his face, ' but aa he came home on the fifth she "saw that some sort of climax had been reached. Had he Invented a new style of bal loon T " Had be bought a huckleberry farm? Had he found a substitute for but ter? Had be found a sure cure for hog cholera) Had be solved the potato bug prob lem? These and a hundred other ques ' ttocs flitted through her mind, but she was to ascertain that Mr. Bowser had done nothing foolish. Havtng announc ed at the dinner table that duty called him out that evening, he added "Mrs. Bowser, it may be something of a surprise to you, but I am going to make a public speech tonight hired Locust hall and gave out notices three days ago." "Is that why you have been acting so mysteriously for the last few even lngsf she asked. . Had Been Posting Up. "There has been no great mystery about it 1 1 have had to have a lot of "HUHDBBDS PEOBABLI TURNED A WAT." I statistics to prove my case, and I know that if I mentioned the object you would discourage me." ) "I might have encouraged you In stead, although I confess that I see no reason for your making a speech What is it about?' Am i a respectable, law abiding and patriotic citizen of America or not?" he asked in reply. ; "Why, yes, of course." i "Am I an honest man?" -1 "Certainly." "Then your question is answered. Mrs. Bowser, you read the naners. Tou know that we are passing through au era of corruption, political and otb-. envlse. Patriotism and honor are dead, and graft and dishonor reign. The people no longer have confidence In anything. As a matter of fact any child ten years old can tell you that unless something is done at once this country is bound to go to the dogs." i "And you propose to keep it from each a calamity?" "I do. I have hired a hall. I have Invited the honest men in the com munity to come out I am going to make a speech a speech that will be the beginning of a new era. I shall show such an appalling state of af- fairs that men Will tremble. I shall . put their duty so plain that none will dare shrink from it I shall sound the slogan of a new Bunker Hill. If . my speech takes as well as I hope for j I may organize a new political party - then and there. I believe that a new party called the Bowserites would sweep this country from end to end and restore the lost confidence and pa triotism." "Yes, It might." replied Mrs. Bowser In tones betraying her doubt "Do you expect a large crowd to hear you J speaK' 'IAI1 the hall can hold and hundreds probably turned away. There is a widespread demand for reform. The people are ready for it. It must come or the country must return to bar barism." "And and have you got confidence In yourself as a speaker?' , "All the confidence In the world. It Is the one theme on which I can turn myself loose. The papers tomorrow ' morning will tell you all about it. We have arranged to have five or six re porters present. They will put a large share of the speech in capitals and Italics." "Well, I hope you will come out all right, but I'm sorry you went Into it. " Hadn't you better run over your speech with me before you deliver it?" "No, ma'am, I hadn't I know what the speech .Is, and I know it's all right I don't want you throwing cold water on It at the last hour. Neither do I propose that you shall take the cre:Ift. f It I must now go and dress tor the occasion." When Mr. Bowser was finally ready to depart for Locust hall Mrs. Bowser rearranged his necktie a bit and pulled down his coattalls and said: "Mr. Bowser, I have got $1.78 that t have saved up." "Well, what of It?" "I'll I'll give you the whole of It If you won't make a speech." . "By the seven spotted bulls, Mrs. Bowser, but do I find graft and brib ery right here in my own bouse? How dare you make me such an offer? You try to bribe me not to make a speech. to let the country go to the dogs, to permit the hydra head of corruption to be reared In every hamlet of America:" But I don't want you to make it failure, you know." "A failure! I make a failure! Why. woman, have you suddenly lost the little brains you ever had? Failure! I shall come home borne ou the shoul ders of shouting, cheering Bowserites. and you had best senu over for a hun dred candles to illuminate the house. V dollar and seventy-five cents as n bribe!" Mr. Bowser reached Lociftt hall to find it lighted, but the expected thou snuds had not gathered yet. In fact only the Janitor was present and there was no look of anticipation on his face. In fact, there was a look of disappointment lustend. and after n couple of minutes he approached Mr. Rowser and queried: "Say, now. can't you put this thing amaglg off for the night?" "What do yon mean, sir?" was asked . "Why, let It go until some other time. I want to go to a scrapping match tonight, but If you are going t make a speech I've got to stay here." Capital Oppressing Labor. Mr. Bowser occupied five minutes !: telling his side of the "story, and vl:e: lie got through the Jauitor felt tli:it I; had been talked to In three dilTcic:: languages. He weut away ami : down,-but he said It was another In fiance of capital oppressing labor bis union should hear of it. Ten v.': i!?es later a reporter arrived. Y. looked around the ball and then ut Mr. Bowser and said: "Going to be a fizasle. isn't It?" "I'm!" "Who is this Bowser anyway T "Uni!" "He's probably some old fake, and I'll not stay to hear him bleat" Five minutes passed, and then a lop shouldered, disreputable looking fellow lounged in and impudently queried: "Say, old hoss. Is there to be a fan dango here tonight?" "What do you mean, sir?" demand ".1 Mr. Bowser. Oh, an old speech or something by somebody or other?" Yes, sir; there is to be a speech here." "And Where's the beer?' ' There won't be any." "Oh, a sawdust speech, eh? Well I'm off.' Let the old blowhard blow." Then a second reporter entered an ' took a look around. The Janitor win!; ed at him, and he returned the vi: and sat down and looked solemn f Sve minutes. Then he approached Mr Bowser and respectfully asked: "Can you tell me the name of the party that is or was to orate here tbi cvening?" "His name Is Bowser, 1 believe." "Well, his wife seems to have L?;:: him at home and done a good thl:: I'll Just say that the meeting was r grand fizzle." There was one more caller. He wav a man that had attended a dance i: the same hall a week before and lo :' a quarter out of a hole In bis pock; t Tie had come back to look for it. Af: er casting aspersions on the character of the Janitor and telling Mr. Bowsci that he ought to be In the bosom of his family the meeting broke up. Mr. Bowser arose. The janitor arose. Mr. Bowser went downstairs. The janitor turned out the gas am! followed. Mr. Bowser went home, not borne on the shoulders of shotfting, cheering men. The Janitor went to the scrappln;: match. f Ana tne xmu ana gentie airs, bow ( per never said a word not a word. M. QUAD. CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS HELP WANTED HOUSE MOVERS. WANTED BOY OUT OP SCHOOL FREDR1CKSON BROS.-We,mak to deliver papers and packager a specialty of house moving, car- Apply Whitman? Book Store. 9-11-tf BOYS WANTED TO CARRY PA pcrs. Apply Circulation Depart ment, Astorian Office. 9-17-tf penters, contractor!, general Jobbing; prompt attention to all orders, - Cor ner Tenth and Dunne streets. MISCELLANEOUS. WANTED-2 YOUNG LADIES OANE b'iNDING7)FaTl as waiter, in res Uunmt; must have, Undf doM the MMhn rxpeui-nvc. vtui ai o6 uonu street. I DNDIBTAUE. J. A. GILHAIUU & jo., Undertakers and ICiulmIiiiera Kiperleneed I-ndy AitflMtiuit When Dealrptl. MESSENGER BOYS fcycles wanted at the Western Union. 8-22-tf 9-17-3t LOOSE LEAF LEDGERS -ALL j kinds made by The J. S. Dcllinger WITH Bl-Comnanv. N ' HOUSES FOR SALE. HOW IS THIS FOR A SNAP? A nice, coiy home; $1600; $800 cash, balance on easy terms. , A. R. John son, 120 Twelfth. - 9-9-tf abus1nesTTnve 28-room rooming house; centrally located; well furnished; this rooming- house is making from $60 to $110 clear each month. A. R. Johnson, 120 Twelfth street. 9-9-tf PROFESSIONAL CARPI ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW CHARLES H. ABERCROMBIE Attorney-at-Law City Attorney Offices: City Hall ROOMS FOR RENT. FURNISHED HOUSEKEEPING and single rooms. 677 Exchange. 9-15-61 LOTS FOR SALE. A LOT 50x100 SUITABLE FOR flats or an apartment house; $3000. A. R. Johnson. 120 Twelfth St. 9-9-tf JOHN C. McCUE, Attorney-at-Law Page Building, Suite 4 HOWARD M. BROWNELL Attorney-at-Law Deputy District Attorney 420 Commercial Street OSTEOPATHS. DR. RHODA C HICKS Osteopath Office "v'ansell Bldg. Phone Black 2065 573 Commercial St. Astoria, Ore. COUNTRY PROPERTY FOR SALE. 20-ACRE TRACT SITUATED ON the pipe line road; $325. A. R. Johnson. 120 Twelfth street. 9-9-tf DENTISTS DR. VAUGHAN Dentist Pythian Building, Astoria, Oregon Culls Promptly Attended Day or Night. Tattott Udir. I 'it hand IluaneSt ANTOUf A. OUE.UON Phone Main 2111 MIOICAU UapreoeUeated 8U90M' f DR. 6- GEE WO TBI GREAT CEnasx doctoi t Who U kaowi throaiiuoot the United j jBUUt oa aocoaat of kll manAtrt ut ihm No poison or drugs usee. Be guraa tse to cure oatarrh, asthma, long aid throat trouble, rheumatism, nerrousDet stomach, Uver and kUaey, iemele torn plaints aod all ohronie dieaee, lUCCKSSm B0HI TREATKZirT If you cannot call rrke for ymytoa DiaoK and circular, inclosing 4 eeata I tamps. TBI c. gik wo mcDicnn co 1121 first 8t, Corner Morrison PORTLAND, OREGON. Please menUoa the Asterlaa. L ! WANTED-TO RENT. WANTED TO RENT A STOCK or dairy farm for cash or shares Address Lewis & Clark, R. F. D Box 80. " 9-4-lm FOR SALE MISCELLANEOUS FOR SALE 12 DAIRY COWS. In quire at Glenwood Station, or post office address Warrentnn, Herbert & Poole. 9-17-tf FOR SALE CHEAP, ONE 5CH0L arship in the International Corres pondence School of Scranton. En' quire Astorian office. 8-7- tfl WANTED MISCELLANEOUS. WANTED-TO BUY A HORS& weight about 1250 pounds; not over 8 years old; must be good driver and gentle, also city broke. Address As, torian office. 6-9-tf. WANTED -WE PAY HIGHEST cash price for second-hand and new furniture; see us before you sell. Zapf Furniture & Hdw. Co. 9-5-26t MASSAGE. OLGA ' KANTONEN, FINNISH masseuse and steam baths, room 6, Pythian Bldg., Commercial St., As torian, Ore. PROPOSALS. Looking For Reveng. I y hi RjEjfeu,' 1 PROPOSALS FOR BEEF AND MUTTON Vancouver Barracks, Wash., September 16, 1908. Sealed proposals for furnishing and deliver ing fresh beef and mutton for six months beginning Jan. 1, 1909, will be received here and at offices of com missaries at Fort Stevens, Ore., Boise Barracks, Idaho, Forts Casey, Colum bia, Flagler, Lawton, Vancouver, Walla Walla, Ward, Worden and Wright, Wash., until 10 a. m. October 16, 1908, and then opened. Envelopes containing proposals should be in- i dorsed, "Proposals for fresh beef and mutton to be opened October 16, 1908," and addressed to comissary of posf to be supplied, or to Lieutenant Colonel George B. Davis, Chief Com missary. ' DR. W. C LOGAN Dentist Commercial St Shanahan Bldg. PLUMBERS. BUSINESS DIRECTORY. RESTAURANTS. TOKIO RESTAURANT. 351 Bond Street Opposite Ross, Higgins & Co. Coilee with Pie or Cake 10 Cta. FIRST-CLASS MEALS Regular Meals 15 Cta. and Up. iitraui U. 8. RESTAURANT. 434 Bond Street Coffee with Pie or Cake, 10 Cta. First-Class Meals, IS Cta. MISCELLANEOUS. Smith's Special Delivery EXPRESS AND BAGGAGE Leave Orders at Star Cigar Store. Phone Black 2383 Res. Phone Red 2276. Stand Corner 11th an Commercial. . n. iiiui PLUMBER Beating Contractor, Tinner AND Sheet Iron Worker LL WORK CUARANTEEI 425 Bond Street Younce & Baker PLUMBERS TINNERS Steam and Gas Fitting All Work Guaranteed. 126 Eighth Street, opp. Post Office. Phone Main 4061. TRANSPORTATION. The K" Lint PASSENGERS FREIQ - .1 ni in m I t -timmaiiutaMr- Steamer v Lurline Night Boat for Portland and Way Landing!. Leaves Astoria 'daily except Sunday at 7 p. m. Leaves Portland Da3y Except Sunday at 7 ft. m. Quick Service Excellent Meala Good Bertha Landing Astoria Flavel Wharf Landing Portland Foot Taylor St, J. J. DAY, Agent Phone Main 270t i Astoria and iPortlaad ROUND TRIP DAILY S (Except Thursday) . . , Sir.fc R. Spencer PARE $1.00 EACH WAY For Portland and Way Landings, Leaves Callender dock, Astoria 2M p. m.; arrives Portland 9:43 p. . Leaves Washington St. dock, Port- una a. m.i arrives Astoria I p. n. SUNDAY EXCURSION FARE $1.00 ROUND TRIP Leaves Washington St. dock, Port. land, 8 a. m.; arrives Astoria 1 p. m. Leaves Callender dock, Astoria 2 p. m., arrive rortiana y p. m. Connecting at Astoria for all Sesside Resorts. Renowned for Speed, Comfort and Uiurteous Treatment. CAPT. E. W. SPENCER, General Maniver. Portland Astoria Office. Callender Dock. MISCELLANEOUS. DENTISTS. WINES AND LIQUORS. Eagle Concert Hall (320 Astor Street) Rooms for rent by the day, week, or month. Bes rates in town. P. A. PETERSON, Prop. P. C. XI Got his number? . , P. C. Y2 (who has been standing on his head through some fault of his own) No, confound It! I'd give a week's pay to know whether that car was M 69 or 90 W.-Sketch. How a Woman Figures. She had worked her leap year pre rogative, but he was trying to dodge the Issue. "I appreciate your proposal," be said, "but my income is not sufficient for two." "Oh, that's all right!" she replied. "When we are married we'll be one, you know." Puck. BIDS REQUESTED FOR TWEN ty million gallon reservoir.' Sealed proposals for furnishing materials, and constructing a twenty million gallon reservoir, in whole, and in sec tions, will, be received until 12 o'clock noon Friday, October 2, 1908, at office of the Water Commission, City Hall, Astoria Oregon. Plans and specifications may be seen, and blank forms of proposals obtained at said office., Certified check in the sum of not le'ss than 10 per cent of the amount bid on each contract must accompany bids. Right to reject any and all bids is reserved. City Water Commission, by G. W. Lounsberry, Clerk. ' 9-15-10 EMPLOYMENT OFFICE. J. T. NOWLEN Real Estate and Employment Office 473 Commercial St, Phone Have fine list of Astoria and coun try property. All classes of labor furnished. We Kill the Torturing Demon PI CP! I carry the best Loggers' Shoes in town at the low est prices. MISCELLANEOUS. Plate Racks, Wall Pockets, Music Racks,' Clock Shelves Just in See us Hildebrand & Got Old Bee Hive Bldg. HOT OR COLD olden West Tea Just Right CLOSSET & DEVERS, PORTLAND, ORE. whose painful and agonizing pang mane me imoierame tor the sufferer, it is dui a matter ot a moment to i. lence the imp that causes the pain in tne nerve, we practice painless ex traction and do it carefully. Also the cleaning and filling of teeth when we Jeem them worthy of saving. Our uur Lrown and Bridge work demon strates our professional skill. En trust your teeth to us, and you will never have cause to complain, either ot the work or the charges. CHICAGO DENTISTS, Cor 11.!. and Commercial Sts. Over Danziger's Store. CONCRETE WORK DONE ANY PERSON WANTING ANY CONCRETE WORK DONE AT THE CEMETARIES, WILL PLEASE LEAVE ORDERS AT POHL'S UNDERTAKING OF FICE. E. NYMAN Astoiia, Ore. P. O. Box 603. My stock of men's and boy's shoes is unsurpassed for q. v lity. Close buying and low expenses enable me to sell the best qualities at lowest prices. S. A. GIMRE 543 Bond Street LAUNDRIES. WE WASH Everything but the Baby and return everything but the dirt. TROY LAUNDRY Tenth and Duane V Phone Main 1991 Shoemaker Get yourSHOE REPAIRING done at E O. GUNALL'S. All work euaV, anteed Prices right. . , 8TH AND COMMER- '" CI ALr STREETS Y t 4 14 f mm wh '''iirgngy-.yvn"'t4y Irr-? llr