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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 8, 1908)
THE MORNING ASTORIAN, ASTORIA, OREGON. TUESDAY, SEPT. 8 fiOilESTiUSJ, finds True Love Flourishes In Country as Well as In Town. HIS VERSES ARE IN DEMAND. Bashful and Hesitating Swaina United , With tha Aid of the Mute of Uncle tarn's Furious Representative He Earns Gratitude. (Copyright, 1908, by T. C. McClure. For the first half dozen houses on my route the other day everything went well and everybody was happy, but then I bumped up.alnst It The good wife of Farmer Ben Johnson was at the gate to receive a letter, and after she bad made sure that it was from her sister In Nebraska she turned to me, and In a confidential voice she aid: ' "Abe. I'm afraid we are going to lose our lamb." 1 didn't know that you kept sheep." 1 answered. "We don't I refer to oar daughter Jess. "Oh, I tee. Well, has Jess got an other soft cornr "Don't make fun of me. Abe. This to serious business. She and Harry r-.',J-"l... it ... ' "Sat. abe, ix a rao man P Day have had a falling out. and good ness only knows bow It Is going to end. He has given out that he is going to enlist for a soldier and go off to the Philippines. Jess Is Just worrying her self sick, and you've got to do some thing." "But I can't take him by the neck and bring him back." "No, but you can write some poetry, and you've got to do It You must write something to scare him and at the same time melt bis heart There's cold milk and a big piece of pie await ing you in the kitchen. As for Jess, he's still abed and won't see any body." I went li, and when the milk and pie bad been disposed of I tuned up my muse and wrote what I called 'The Shriveling Maid," as follows: They tell me that my cheek is pale - That, like a Illy drooping, I now seem going to my grave Instead of gayly whooping. My eyes are dim with bitter tears; My cheeks are sunk and hollow; My weight has sadly fallen off, And there Is more to follow. I dream and dream of various things Of fregs and toads and gators I dream of centlpeds and rats i And vile impersonators. I dream to wake and wake to dream. And In my dreams I'm falling. And in my waking hours I find Myself for Harry calling. They say he's given me the shake; That I'm a maiden jilted; That, like a broken big sunflower, - I'm withered and I'm wilted. ' But 1 shall believe my Harry true. Come back, my love: come hither, And do not leave your Jess to fade And s'irivel up and wither. "Abe," nald the good woman as she wiped the tears from her eyes, "you've truck it.1" "I believe I have, Aunt Liza." Saved Their Lamb. "I know It You've appealed to that young man's feelings as no seventeen preachers could. You have saved our lamb, and if I don't be a sister to you all the rent of your days I hope to be hung. Yea, sir, when Jess copies them verses off and sends them to Harry there's gclng to be something doing. His conscience is going to cry out un til he will come over here on the run." I don't know bow fast he ran, but next day I heard that the quarrel had been mad? up and that the shriveled maiden hsd ceased to shrivel. I was driving along and feeling how unjust it was of the postmaster gen eral to feel Jealous of my poetry when It was doing so much good, when Farmer Joe Smith's hired man beck oned me from the barn. I had henni that he hud an affair of the heart on hand, and I drew up and descended. "Say, Abe, I'm a dying man." he said with a qulcer of the lip. "Been taking paris groeu':" I nnked. "No. It's what they call in; requited love. I'm in love with Sarah Jackson, and If she won't have n:e It'll be n caw of suicide for sure." "But have yo.i asked her?" "Not-net yet. 1 datn't. Abe. She's too proud and horty. I'm afraid she'd throw me over." War-ted to Melt Her Heart. "Then Irow In thunder are you going to fix it? She won't ask you if yon wait a thoinand years." "I know It, but I want something to prepare the way to sorter melt her heart When I see that ibe's melted 1 T ttV I i mil LA J f-A mm l7fEJ Organic disturbances of the femin- tryvj V U'WK-JI toe system act like a firebrand onjWANTED-A WAITRESS OF EX- the nerves of women, often driving them fairly frantic. A nervous, irritable woman is a source of misery not only to herself, but to all those who come under her influence. That such conditions can be entirely overcome by taking LYDIA E. PiNKHAfil'S VEGETABLE COMPOUND Is proven by the following letters. Sirs, Mary Wood, of Uiristiana, Tenn- writes to Mrs. Pinkham : "I had the worst form of female troubles and my nerves were all torn to pieces; sometimes I suffered so much that it seemed as though I could not live. " I began to take Lydia K. Pink ham's Vegetable Compound and now I feel like a different person. Your medi cine is worth its weight in gold, and 1 cannot say enough lor your advice. Mrs. Wallace Wilson. Thomrjeon- i ville.Comi.writestoMfs.Pinkham:!" a a n r "I was all run down, nervous, and! near the new b"yard in Alder could not rest nights. Doctors failed brook; this is a bargain at $2300. to help me, Lydia E. Pinkham'a Vege- j A. R. Johnson, 120 Twelfth St. 9-6-tf table Compound restored me to perfect , s neaiin.- FACTS FOR SICK WOMEN. For thirty years Lydia E. Pink ham's Vegetable Compound, made from roots and herbs, has been the standard remedy for female ills), and has positively cured thousands of women who have been troubled with displacements, inflammation, ulcera tion, irregularities, periodic pains, Backache. Why dotft you try it ? Sirs. Pinkham invites all sick women to write her for advice. She has guided thousands to health. Address Lynn, Mass. I'll ask her. Gimme some o year poetry, Abe- I've got to have It or you will be tesponsible for my de:i:h." He was pale and trctnbliug. and. h'.s chin sinking and seeing what u uurj cast' it was, I sat down and wrote t!:i following, the same belug lutcttded ". appeal to both her humorous and pa thetic side: Oh, the roses come, and the roses bloom. And the roses droop and die, And the sad south wind it walls arour.-J The spot where the hollyhocks lie. Oh, life of earth Is a sad, sad life! We meet today, and we part. Today we gather the roses and laugh: Tomorrow there's grief In I'.ir huurt. At midnight I wake to think of my love. To list to the wind as It blows. To hope that my Sarah won't fail out of bed And land on the floor on her nose. My love she has had for many a month- The love of a strong married man. The love that endures the tat pork and beans Devoured by her Jlmmie McGann. 1 pray that my love Is regarded in kind; That Sarah has thoughts of her Jim; That he is not driven by blackest despair To go har.g on a hickory limb. He Was Grateful. When 1 drove on I left the r:n?t grateful hired man in the wholo conn try behind ui. but whether the i;e:!i melted Sarah or not I have yet t !::xl Dut There was one more case. Ai Farmer Beecuer's the mother told ii:e, about the same as Mrs. Johnson h:!!l done. Her daughter Xell hud iivi reled with ber feller and he was threat ening to go off to Panama uud t'Mtc!i i the yellow fever, and so I lid to sit down to another poem. I am happy to j record that It worked in the same prompt and satisfactory manner: I have loved him long and tender; 1 have loved blm long and well; I have never loved another man As I love Billy Dell. He swore he did return my love And caused my heart to flutter And made me lose my appetite For toasted bread and butter. Ho led fhe on to believe he'd pop The question I was waiting The question that is always asked Before there is a mating. But ah, alas, he turned away He turned to Betty Bakerl And could I do aught else but; say, "You chump, but go and take her?" I've tried full hard my love to kill; I've sought to quench the feeling; I've wept and pulled my nose so much That It Is sadly peeling. It can't bo done. The only thing Is river or cold plzen; A ropo a-lianging o'er a limb, And I am free from prison. Ar.d Billy Dell will gaze boito day Upon the weeping wilier, A-drooplns o'er my routing place, And tears bedew his plllcr. M. QUAD. She Couldn't Se Stopped. , "Cousin Jane is so obtuse." "What's the matter with her?" "Why, you know her folks have been threatening to visit us all summer. To head her off I telegraphed this morn !:ig, 'Don't come; weather too warm for eo:rifort' And what do you sup pose she replied?" "Give It up." v ' " 'It's hotter here!' "-Cleveland Plain Dealer. . . CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS HELP WANTED WANTED A BOY OR A GIRL AT Bum's Cigar Factory. 9-3-tf WANTED GIRL ,TO WORK IN printing office. Cull at Astorian office. 9-6-tf WANTED AT ONCE, TWO EX- I j'v,i iviuvu fPtiuititt vacua. Vflii (it Commercial street. 9-6-6t ! WANTED 2 WELL DRESSED young men; good opportunities to the right men. Enquire at Irving Hotel, between 12 and 1 p. m. MESSENGER BOYS WITH BI cycles wanted at the Western Union. 8-22-tf penence; ing Hotel. good wages. Apply Irv 9-l-7t FOR SALE-REAL ESTATE. FOR SA LE AT A BARGAI N-T WO lots and an 8-room modern house with bath. For particulars address B, 100, Astorian office. 9-t-6t SACRIFICE SALE DWELLING house and lot, 50x100 feet on 17th street between Franklin and Grand; owner leaving town and is anxious to sell; will sell furniture with house if desired. Van Dusen & Co., agents. 9-3-St CITY PROPERTY FOR SALE. 7jTjtci?' vrT" V , rVc A NEW 6-ROOM HOUSE IN UP pertown; parties are leaving the city; will sell at $1100. A. R. John son, 120 Twelfth street. 9-6-tf A GOOD SIX-ROOM COTTAGE; $2000. A. R. Johnson, 120 Twelfth street 9-6-tf IF YOU ARE CONTEMPLATING buying a home or a farm, call on me. A. R. Johnson, 120 Twelfth street 9-6-tf NICE MODERBUNGAL6Vr6 living rooms, reception hall, bath room, clothes closets, etc.; $2900. fv. J I'll II ,wis & nMiui wr.. v. A SNAP; 50x100 FT. GRADED lot; in good location; $575. A. R. Johnson, 120 Twelfth St 9-6-tf COUNTRY PROPERTY FOR SALE. 130Aces"V7tTdE" LAND ; this land is now being dyked; it is located near this city; $60 per acre. A. R. Johnson, 120 Twelfth St 9-6-tf. l(MCRTt RACT sTTID E"LA N D ; $75 per acre. A. R. Johnson, 120 Twelfth street 9-6-tf WANTED TO RENT. WANTED-TO RENT A FURN ished dairy ranch by an experienced dairyman. Address 107i Fourth St. Portland. WANTED TO RENT-A STOCK or dairy farm for cash or shares. Address Lewis & Clark, R. F. D Box 80. 9-4-lm FOR SALE: MISCELLANEOUS FOR " SALE AT " A BARGAI N Horse, harness and wagon; call at Henningsen's Furniture Store, 506 Bond street. 9-5-6t GASOLINE LAUNCH, NEW, AND strongly built; 6 h. p.; for sale at a ! bargain. Hans Frederiksen, 2071 Bond Utrect. , 9-3-6t I FOR SALE CHEAP, ONE SCHOL- arship in the International Corres pondence School of Scranton. En quire Astorian office. 8-7-tf WANTED MISCELLANEOUS. WANTED TO BUY' V HORSE; weight about 1250 pounds; not over 8 years old; must be good driver and gentle, also city broke. Address As torian office. 6-9-tf. WANTED -WE PAY HIGHEST cash price for second-hand and new furniture; see us before you sell. Zapf Furniture & Hdw. Co. 9-5-26t HOUSE MOVERS. FREDR1CKSON BROS.-We make a specialty af house moving, car-m-n'Ts, contractors, general jobbing; prompt attention to all orders. Cor ner Tenth and Duane streets. . lIENANDWOMEH. Cu Big J for unnatural dlrlirxP,i!jHaniHiit!ou Irritation! or ulceration! of in u o o u membranes. P.InImn.. Atirf not aftriU' ' 1.1 WKiff' iiai ta itrifltur. Prnrmte CoBUtiro. ITKEEVAHSCHCMICHCO. gmt or pol-onou). , CIHCIHHATI,0 11 ' nrnpglais, k .... m; n, a.,.. In nluift wrAOOeT. j. i . -"" 1 on r R Imtlll.ai2.7a. I i i MASSAGE. OLGA KANTONEN, FINNISH masseuse and steam baths, room 6, Pythian Bldg., Commercial St, A- , torian, Ore. a w .1 I I LOST AND FOUND. ,LOST-JADE RING, BETWEEN ! Ninth street and Logan's hall ' Finder please leave at this cilice and receive reward. 9-&tf LQST-A BUSTER BROWNTwI G I in the Wild West Parade. Finder ! please return to W. R. Macbeth and receive reward. 9-5-6t MISCELLANEOUS. MAGAZINE BINDING OF ALL kinds done at the Astorian Office. LOOSE LEAF LEDGERS -ALL kinds made by The J. S. Dellinger Company. PROFESSIONAL CARD). ATTO RNE YS-AT-LA W CHARLES H. ABERCROMBIE Attorney-at-Law City Attorney Offices : City Hall JOHN C McCUE, Attorney-at-Law Page Building, Suite 4 HOWARD M. BROWNELL Attorney-at-Law Deputy District Attorney 420 Commercial Street OSTEOPATHS. DR. RHODA C. HICKS Osteopath Office Ivfansell Bldg. Phone Black 2065 i73 Commercial St. Astoria, Ore. DENTISTS DR. VAUGHAN Dentist Pythian Building, Astoria, Oregon DR. W. C LOGAN Dentist Commercial St Shanahan Bldg. BUSINESS DIRECTORY. RESTAURANTS. TOKI03Si RESTAURANT. Or posite Ross, Higgins & Co. Coffee with Pie or Cake 10 Cta. FIRST-CLASS MEALS Regular Meals 15 Cts. and Up, U. 8. RESTAURANT. - 434 Bond Street Coffee with Pie or Cake, 10 Cts. First-Class Meals, IS Cts. MISCELLANEOUS. Smith's Special Delivery EXPRESS AND BAGGAGE Leave Orders at Stat- Cigar Store. Phone Black 2383 Res. Phone Red 2276. Stand Corner 11th an Commercial. WINES AND LIQUORS. Eagle Concert Hall (320 Astor Street) Rooms for rent by the day, week, or month. Bes rates in town. P. A. PETERSON, Prop. A few doses of this remedy will in variably cure m ordinary attack of diarrhoea. It can always be depended rpon, even in the more severe attacks of cramp colic and cholera morbus. It is equally suocfwful for summer diarrhoea and cholera infantum in children, and is the means of saving the lives of many children each year. When reduced with water and sweetened it is pleasant to take. Evtry man of n family should keep this remedy in his home. Bny it now.. Price, 25c. Large Size, COO. UNDERTAK1R3. J. A. GILI1AUUI1 & CO., UwtortakerM nml Kiulialiucra. ISxporleiHHMl Lndr An.tni.t When Dfiftfrwl. Cull Promptly Attended Dny or Night. Tatton Hilar. 1'JtUund DuaiieSU ASTOm , OKE.UON Phone Mntu Ulil MEDICAL l'nprMueU4 SueoMtsc f OR. C SEE VO TBI GHAT CHHVISI DOCTOl Wao is keowt .throughout the United i Ctta.iaM na aviiat mi 'r-i'laa all worJorful euift No pokwa or druge usee. He guarta toe to eure eaUrrh, asthma, lung tad throat trouble, rheumatism, aerrouMea stomach, liver and klJaey, itmale con plaints aad all ohronto di . SUCCESSFUL R0MX TtlATHTHT If you cannot call write for symyto blank and eireular, Inclosing 4 eaate t eUmpa, THi c gik wo MtDicnrz CO. 1121 First St. Comer Morrtaoe: POKTLAKD, 0SECOR. Ptase mention th Astoriaa. PLUMBERS. !A X . A. PLUMBER Heating Contractor. Tinner AND Sheet Iron Worker ' VLL WORK GUARANTEEI 425 Bond Street Younce & Baker PLUMBERS TINNERS Steam and Gas Fitting All Work Guaranteed. 126 Eighth Street, opp. Post Office. Phone Main 4061. f y DENTISTS. We Kill the Torturing Demon whoHC painful and agonizing pangs make life intolerable for the sufferer, ft is but a matter of a moment to si lence the imp that causes the pain in the nerve. We practice painless ex traction and do it carefully, Also the cleaning and filling of teeth when we deem them worthy of saving. Our Our Crown and Bridge work demon strates our professional skill. ' En trust your teeth to us, and you will never have caurt to complain, either of the work or the charges. CHICAGO DENTISTS, Cor ll.h and Commercial Sts. Over Danziger's Store. CONCRETE ? , WORK DONE ANY PERSON WANTING ANY CONCRETE WORK DONE AT THE CEMETARIES, WILL PLEASE LEAVE ORDERS AT POHL'S UNDERTAKING . OF- FICE. E. NYMAN Astoria, Ore, talk rff 1161 P, O. Box 603. TRANSPORTATION. Th "K Lin - i ,.. t PASSENGERS FREIGHT rWaj;' C Steamer - Lurline Night Boat for Portland and Way Landing!. Leaves Astoria dally except Sunday at 7 p, m. . Leavee Portland Dally Except Sunday at 7 a. m. Quick Service Excellent Meali Good Bertha Landing Astoria Flavel Wharf Landing Portland Foot Taylor 8t J. J. DAY, Agent Phone Main 27ft. Actnrfa and 'PArtl'iii.N nuivnu uuw ii vi liuiltt ROUND TRIP DAILY (Except Thursday) Sr.Hu. R. Spencer FARE $1.00 EACH WAY For Portland and Way Landings. Leaves Callender dock, Astoria 2 JO p. m.; arrives Portland 9:4S p. m. Leaves Washington St. dock, Port land 7 a. m,; arrives Astoria 1 p. m. SUNDAY EXCURSION FARE $1.00 ROUND TRIP Leaves Washington St. dock, Port land, 8 a. m.; arrives Astoria 1 p. m. Leaves Callender dock, Astoria 2 p. m.; arrives Portland 9 p. m. Connecting atstoria for all Sea tide Resorts, Renowned for Speed, Comfort and courteous treatment. CAPT. E. W. SPENCER. General Manager. Portland Astoria Office, Callender Dock. MISCELLANEOUS. C7C My stock of men's and boy's J shoes is unsurpassed for qua lity. Close buying and low expenses enable ine to sell the best qualities at lowest prices. nvA S. A. GIMRE 54., Bond Street Shoemaker Get yourSHOE REPAIRING done at E G. GUNALL'S. All work guar- anteea Frtces right 8TH AND COMMER CIAL STREETS Circului muI w revuest
