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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 22, 1908)
THE MORNING ASTORIAN, ASTORIA, OREGON, SATURDAY, AUGUST 22 Nan's 0 Experiment. By CECILY ALLEN. Copyrlfhted, 190S, by Associated Uwrary Vms. ' "The foundations of our social ays torn are rotten to the core!" announced ,Han, leaning forward In the great wicker chair to watch the progress ol the little Italian across the velvet lawn. ' Her brother Bob sank even mow teply In his own cushioned chair and studied the smoke curling upward front the tip of his very good cigar. "I told Uncle Henry this would bt " tfee inevitable result of sending you tc western co-d college. The social tystem here Is quite good enough foi ; Kan's broad forehead was puckered fe a thoughtful frown. "Now, take that young Italian fore- aaa of yours, for Instance! Whai pot him la a different class from yout The fact I that his , father had hoi enough money to feed his big family ad your father had too much money to the good of his two children." "BeaUy," remarked Bob, with eyes fencing, "I never noticed any com plaints from you about superfluity ot "Give that man a Fifth avenue tal ks; a valet and a motor car and he would pass muster in our set shoulder to shoulder with you." "I don't know about that," pursued Bob. "He might eat with his knlfe"- : "Not after he had been told It was wrong," said Nan, with conviction. "Suppose he were wearing corduroy to shooting instead of digging exca vations. t Suppose he were wearing ahlrt sleeves on a tennis court or the Inks instead of In your employ. He would be a gentleman, one of your equals. He would look not a whit ' different from what be does today, but we would accept him socially where today we regard blm as our Inferior. Boo cast amused glances at a cor er in the porch roof where two birds ere busily building a nest among the Tinea. "And this Is the modern wo tan the effect of the higher educa tion," be murmured. - It might have been the birds, cooing d contended, or It might have just Jbeen the love of mischief which some men never outgrow even when, like Xobert Darnton, they can count Iron gnty hairs by the score above each "temple. At any rate, he sat up very suddenly and determinedly and regard id his sister quite seriously. "Have you the courage of your con tfctIonsT Are you willing to put your theory to the test? Will you let me Invite my foreman here as an equal, provided, of course, that I secure the stipulated Fifth avenue tailoring, the man' and the motorr k "Good gracious, Bob, you move so voddenly!" suggested Nan. "No time like the present, and I In sist that any one who attacks our so cial system should proyeltsjottenness hen she has the opportunity. T will Invite my foreman here as a guest 7 win agree that he Is properly coached for his part (it would not be fair to ton blm Joose on our unsuspecting guests withouT some training), and then I will wager you a diamond sunburst against a crocheted tie that you ask Be to put him out of the house before the week Is up." Nan's glance traveled once more across the expanse of green lawn. The lithe figure of the Italian was Just disappearing behind a clump of fhzuMcry. Well, In appearance, at least, he could do the bouse of Darn Ion no discredit Anyhow, why should a girl who was planning settlement work for the fall shrink at the thought f having one "case" In her home for a few days? She would have to live among them in the fall! ' "Well?" Inquired Bob. watching her lovely, changeable expression with ap preciative eyes. "Let him come!" she answered, with assumed nonchalance and there was ao denying it something of pleasure that she was to meet again the glance ef the Italian's wondrous brown eyes. Standing on the lower step of the porch, he had looked a veritable young god. "Only you are not to tell him that the Idea, the theory, is mine." So did Vlncenzo Pantozzi join the In nermost circle of the social set graced fey the Darntons came also a rakish yellow racer of foreign make, a man versed in all the mysteries of the tai loring world, and a wardrobe which was a credit at least to Bob Darnton's generosity. On one point Vlncenzo stood firm. He must be permitted to leave the house every morning In time to join his workmen who were building the marvelous Italian garden at the lower end of the estate. If the fair chate laine often shared his early breakfast, her zeal as a sociological student was to her command. Barring a few times when Vlncenzo gripped the wrong table utensil in bis nervousness or dropped his spoon or fork, he did very well at table, and there was do need of dread on the part ef his hostess when the elaborate week end dinner was scheduled. "It is marvelous what imitative crea ' tores wt all are," she observed men tally one morning. She bad ordered the early breakfast served on the side porch, and the . scent of honeysuckle was all over. : And then Vlncenzo, looking up, caught sor ' !ng-he did not know Just wh ?r calm gray eyes and promptly proceeded to upset a tqgat pitcher of cream. Every night Vlucenao came In from the embryonic Italian gardens to Dt shaved and dressed by the stolid Eng llshman provided by his host If there were no guests for tho even lug Bob weut a-calllitg on his neigh burs and the fair chatelaine found herself spinning In the moonlight bo side the pseuJo owner of the raklsb yellow car, who was taking to luxury and the social career as a duck taket to water. ; ' ' : To be sure, Rob so jested rathei heartlessly that the week end party bad best be postponed. It Is one thlnt to conduct a social experiment, he re marked, and another, to explain when the experimenter was a charm lug young woman. And the expert mented one well, there ' was no ust talking! Vlncenso bad proved ni sloucbt ' 'u 'r ' ' 1 And on the evening of the sixth daj Bob tame home from the city late Dinner had been served.. The porct was deserted. ' No, Miss Darnton and Mr. Pantoss were not out motoring. The gentle man (what nice shades of meaning stolid faced servant can put Into a slm pie phrase) had gone away In his cm alone and Miss Darnton. was In het room, quite HI with a headache. Headache notwithstanding, she burst into her brother's study directly tbt servant had gone back to the rear ol the house. Her face was quite pale Her eyes shone with unnatural brll liancy from the center of dark circles "I've come to acknowledge my do feat. Bob," she Bald bitterly. "Mi start your tie In the morning, and 1 wish you would see that Vln Mr Pantozzi leaves the house before start the tie," "Whewr gasped Bob. "What hat be done? . Eaten peas with a spoon or demanded macaroni uncut?" Nan leaned wearily against a cbali and her mouth drooped. "It has been a dreadful mistake Bob. Don't joke about it, dear. Yiu cenzo tonight he has fallen In love with me!" Bob leaned back in his chair and laughed heartlessly. "Which goes to show," he gasped be tween paroxysms, "that your theory L entirely correct He fell right into out life, our ways. He Is one of us. 1 dou't know a heart free., man in oui crowd who would not fall In love with you If he bad the opportunities of seeing you in yonr most charming, womanly moods, as poor Pantozzi has. Don't blame blm for that! It's a bad theorist who won't accept the results of her own experiments." I didn't think you would take It like this, Bob. I thought the honor of the famlly"- Bob bit his Up. "Did be say anything that reflected on the Darnton honor?" Xo-o. He was lovely, but a bit hys terical He said well, you know what they all say that I was the one wo manthat he was unworthy of me that he would not have placed me In such a. false position but be should love me always and then he jumprf Into his car your car, 1 mean and went down the drive like mad." He didn't happen to say that lie thought it a shame for a pretty git-! to lose by trickery the best sunburst Tif fany could put up, did he?" Bob," gasped his sister, leaning heavily against the table, "did In know?" 'Everything, my dear! Vlncenzo Is a chap I met in Paris, the younger so:i of an old Roman family who have nothing but chapels and marbles and paintings which the state will not per mit them to sell, and Vlncenzo was studying architecture with the lauda ble Intention of earning a fortune to keep the confonnded chapels and rel ics in the family. I gave him bis first commission, and he has retaliated by demanding the hand of my only sister. That's gratitude for. you! I'll send him packing In the morning," said Bob, with assumed fierceness. Then suddenly a figure all In white nestled against bis broad shoulder; a slim arm rept around his neck. ... "I'd I'd rather you wouldn't. Bob. need a new sunburst worse than any thing else In the world, except" A glimpse of Pantozzi's face at this minute and there's bis car!" Artemus Ward's Accomplishment. On the occasion of Artemus Ward's professional visit to London, which oc curred not long before his death, J. E. Preston Muddock says In bis book. Pages From an Adventurous Life." that the American humorist's advertise ments of his "show" were as full of funny surprises as the lectures them selves. One that tickled the general public was this: Artemus Ward delivered Lecturer Before All the Crowned Heads of Europe ever thought of delivering lectures. And an excerpt from his lecture on "Drawing" Is quoted by Mr. Muddock as a particularly delightful bit. "I haven't distinguished myself as an artist," Ward said in his inimitable way, "but have always been raised up in art. I have an uncle who takes photographs in his sane moments, and I have a servant who takes everything he can lay his bands on at any mo ment "At a very tender age I could draw on wood. When a mere child I once drew a small cart load of raw turnips over a wooden bridge. It was a raw morning. The people of the village recognized me. They said it was a raw turnip drawing. That shows bow faithfully I had copied nature. I drew their attention to It, so you see there was a lot of drawing in It "The villagers, with the wonderful aiscernment peculiar to villagers, said 1 had n future before me. As I was walking backward when I made my drawing, I replied that I thought my future must be behind me," - WINNING A COAT.' The Clever 8ohmt That Was Worked by a French Thief, A Freuehtnnu had been attending the Comedlo Ftaivcnlse, and after the per formance ho took a gloomy byway lu order to make a short cut to tiio Bou levard Moutmartre. lie noticed as be hastened through the dark a slight tug on his coattail, but to this be paid no attention. When he reached the bright boulevard, however, he found, to his great mortification, that ono tall of his clawhammer coat had been cut off. He notllled a journalist ot bis loss, and the next morning an account of the odd theft appeared in the Figaro. That afternoon a man In a blue uniform called on him. - "I come, monsieur," the mau said, "from the bureau of nollce. We hare captured a suspicious character who had lu his pocket a piece of fine black cloth. Let me have your mutilated coat, sir. If the piece fits It, we will know tjmt we hare appreheuded the man who robbed you." . The other surrendered his coat, and from that day to this he heard no more about It. The pretended official was. of course,, the thief, who bad adopted that aduactous means of getting the coat In order to atach to It the pur loined tall. 1 i : Who Knows? Alice toiled slowly up the stairs, pa per and peucll In hand, ready to ask questions of the first person she en countered. Being just six, she was at the Inquiring age aud endeavored to make everybody's life a burden to them. The first person she encountered was Bridget, the upstairs girt "Pwease, Bwldget" she piped, "glf me ve letters of ve alfablt." SU...1.V and Impressively Bridget complied. "An now, Bwldget" proceeded Alice, pwease glf me ve letters vat ain't lu ve afablt." Bridget thought Then she thought again. She was puzzled. Finally she said: "I'll tell ye tomorrow," and went down to ask cook. London Queen. The Colonies In Engltsh Eyes. The average Englishman, and it is surprising In what numbers be exists, has a vague conception of colonies gen erally. He has some hazy notions of Virginian plantations and transporta tion settlements and crown colonics where a peppery military man of the old school takes up the white man's burden by holding autocratic sway over unclad barbarians. The concep tions are more often than not fifty years behind the times. Sydney Lone Hand. The Oldest Jury. The oldest Greek poet has left us a picture of what the jury was In his time. The primitive court Is sitting. and the question la "guilty" or "not guilty." The old men of the commu nity give their opinions In turn. The adjudicating democracy, the commons, standing round about applaud the opinions which strike them most and the applause determines the decision. Such was probably the earliest form of Jury. The British Drama! It' Is absolutely true that the British public goes to the theater to be amused, not to be Instructed. It considers that It pays Its money to le amused, and It sullenly resents the presence of any powder In the Jam. It is when this atti tude changes that the great renaissance of the British drama will arrive. Lon don Graphic. SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES. Agricultural College CORVALLIS, OREGON. Offers collegiate courses in Agri culture, including Agronomy, Horti culture, Animal Husbandry, Dairy Husbandry, etc.; Forestry; Domestic Science and Art; Civil, Electrical, Mechanical and Mining Engineering; Commerce; Pharmacy. Offers elementary courses in Agri culture, Forestry, Domestic Science and Art, Commerce, and Mechanic Arts, including forge work, cabinet making, steam fitting, plumbing, ma chine work, etc. Strong faculty, modern equipment; free tuition; opens September 25. Illustrated catalogue with full in formation on application to the Registrar, free. , NOTICE TO STOCKHOLDERS. i--L 'I -fli1iU. l-iUi"l. f"C-iTL i - I 1"" THE ANNUAL MEETING ,OF the stockholders of the Odd Fel lows' Land & Building Association will be held Thursday, August 27, 1908, at 2:00 p. m., at Odd Fellows' hall, by order of president. JOHN HAHN, Secretary. Plate Racks, Wall Pockets, Music Racks, Clock Shelves Just in-See us Hildebrand & Gor Old Bee Hive Bldg. SICU IKniVRMll. JBBeS'VI ti Bis for . .- ...(..,... ,.t miiRAnB IllfimDrftDM. ,Mmii (aula. Piinlui. and not Mtrio iTHEVAN8CHEMICLC0. gent or poinoDOui. . OIS0INHTI,Oi Sold by vnnmii or lent In plain wrapper hr exp.rowt, prapaiu, 1.00. or 3 iotuii.' Circular tent on ruuM CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS 3.r.U! HELP WANTED MESSENGER BOYS WITH Bi cycles wanted at the Western Union. 8-22-tf FOR SALE-REAL ESTATE FOR SALE AT X'BARGAilj Tvo lots and an eight-room mod ern house with bath. For particular address B. 100, Aitorian office. 19-6t TO LET FURNISHED ROOMS fuwhshedttagTo street with piano and 'sewing ma chine to parties without children, $20 a month rent. Address D. B., Ai torian, ' 8-22-tf to SALE. FOR SALE A 100-PIECE SET OF Haviland China, in perfect condi tion, cheap. Inquire at the McCrea- Ford studio. 7-15-tf FOR SALE CHEAP, ONE SCHOL arship In the International Corres pondence School of Scranton. En quire Astorian office. 8-7-tf OLD PAPERS FOR SALE; PER hundred, 25 cents. At Astorian Office HOUSE MOVERS. FREDR1CKSON BROS.-We make a specialty of house moving, car pentert, contractors, general jobbing; prompt attention to all orders. Cor ner Tenth and Duane streets. , MASSAGE. OLGA KANTONEN, FINNISH masseuse and steam baths, room 6, Pythian Bldg., Commercial St., As torian, Ore. LOST AND FOUND. FOUND-GOLD WATCH, CHAIN and locket; owner can have same by thoroughly identitfying property and paying for this notice. Inquire Astorian. 8-18-tf. LOST-ON THE LEWIS AND Clark road on Sunday, August 16, a fishing outfit; a suitable reward will be given. Finder please return to the Astorian. 8-18-tf MISCELLANEOUS. MAGAZINE BINDING OF ALL kinds done at the Astorian Office. LOOSE LEAF LEDGERS ALL kinds made by The J. S. Dellinger Company. WANTED TO BUY A HORSE; weight about 1250 pounds; not over 8 years old; must be good driver and gentle, also city broke. Address As torian office. 6-9-tf. EMPLOYMENT OFFICE. J. T. NOWLEN Real Estate and Employment Office 473 Commercial St, Phone Have fine list of Astoria and coun try property. AH classes of labor furnished. WINES AND LIQUORS. Eagle Concert Hall (320 Astor Street) Rooms for rent by the day, week, ot month. Bes rates in town. P. A. PETERSON, Prop. BIDS FOR WOOD. BIDS ARE HEREBY ASKED FOR furnishing 60 cords of sound "fir stabwood, four feet in length; said wood to be delivered on the court house block within 10 days from dafe of signing contract; said bids to be filed with the clerk on or before August 24th, at 9 o'clock a. m.f 1908; contractor to furnish bond in the sum of one hundred ($100) dollars. Court reserving right to reject any or all bids. By order of the County Court, J. C. Clinton, County Clerk. 8-18-6t MISCELLANEOUS. H O TO R COLD olden West ESS lea Just Right CLOSSET & DEVERS, PORTLAND, ORE. - ia - .x - , PROFESSIONAL CARD. ATTORNEYS- AT-LAW CHARLES H. ABERCROMBIE Attorney-it-Law City Attorney Office! City Hall " JOHN C. McCUE, Attorney-at-Law Page Building, Suite 4 HOWARD M. BROWNELL Attorney-st-Law Deputy District Attorney 420 Commercial Street OSTEOPATHS, DR. RHODA C. HICKS Osteopath Office .Vansetl Bid. Phone Black 2065 i73 Commercial St.. Astoria, Ore. DENTISTS DR. VAUGHAN Dentist Pythian Building, Astoria, Oregon DR. W. C LOO AN Dentist Commercial St Shtnahan Bldg. BUSINESS DIRECTORY. RESTAURANTS. TOBaOJsl JJAJJBANT. Opposite Ross, Higgins & Co. Coffee with Pie or Cake 10 Cta. FIRST-CLASS MEALS Regular Meals 13 Cts. and Up. XT. 8. RESTAURANT. 434 Bond Street Coffee with Pie or Cake, 10 Cta. First-Clau Meals, IS Cta. MISCELLANEOUS. Smith's Special Delivery EXPRESS AND BAGGAGE Leave Orders at Star Cigar Store. Phone Black 2383 Rat. Phone Red 2271 Stand Corner 11th an Commercial DENTISTS. TECTff- COR. 11TH AND COMMERCIAL. Office hcurs 8:30 A. M. to 8: P. M. Sunday 10:00 to 12:00. , Phone Number Main 3001. Painless Extractions - 5oc Corner Commercial and 11th Sts. over Danziger store. FISH MARKET. I 77 Ninth St., Near Bond Fresh and Salted Fish, Game and Poultry, Groceries, Produoe and Fruit Imported and Domestic Goods. ' . , BAKOTITCH & FEO, Props. Phone Red 2183 SCHOOLS AND iicill Seattle Fs artel You want the best money can buy in food, clothing, home comforts, .pleasures, etc., why not in education? Portland's"! Leading Business College : offers such to you and at no greater cost than' an inferior school. Owners practical teachers More Calk than we can fill Teachers actual business men In session the entire year Positions guaranteed graduates Catalogue "A" for the asking I. M. WALKER, Pres. O. A. BOSSERMAN, Secy. --i-rmiTtrf-,;y,f-;-r-irirriXrii.-iiirr-Tri;Hr--a - uwDimms. - J. A, G I LB A UGH Umlerinker ami Kitttialmet BiHtialmeri' , Riprlrncil Lady Alntant When Uetured, Cftltn Promptly Atteuded iy or Night. Tattoii Bdjr. IStU and Duane 8U Phone Main Uti I ' MIOICAU - -1 -ii 1 i ' i it n n nruururu Uopreeueaie4 1 Bueaetsea'af j 03. CtE 10 TBICUAT CinfXSS DOCTOl Vlt la ItBdva throngboat the United tic. . " .tv r si wonatnui nurse. No potooea or drags usee Be fue tees to eur eatarra, asthma, lung sad throat trouble, rheumatism, aervoiiMessV stomach, Urer and kldaev. female roes Y plaint and all ehronle diseases. UbtftSSrUI, HU23X TKXaTKZXT. If you eaaoot eall write for symptom blank sod elreulsr, Incloting 4 eeata stamps. TBI C. Gil WO MMCIK1 CO. 1 ICt First St., Corner Morrfsoe. PORTLAND, OBXCOlf. PWse mention the Astoria. PLUMBERS. IJJIG01Y PLUMBER Beating Contractor, Tinner ':v:t AND - Sheet Iron Worker UL WORK GUARANTEED 423 Bond Street Younce & Baker PLUMBERS TINNERS Steam and Gas Fitting All Work Guaranteed. 126 Eighth Street, opp. Post Office. Phone Mala 4061. LAUNDRIES. WE WASH Everything but' the Baby and return everything but the dirt. TROY LAUNDRY Ttnth: and Duane Phone Main 1991 4 CONCRETE . WORK DONE ANY PERSON WANTING ANY CONCRETE WORK DONE AT THE CEMETARIES, WILL PLEASE LEAVE ORDERS AT POHL'S UNDERTAKING FICE. OP- E.NYAUN Astoria, Ore. P. O. Box 603. COLLEGES c MJ :'. ; . .. "J !!',! V