THE MORNING ASTORIAN, ASTORIA, OREGON,
SATURDAY, AUGUST 22
Nan's
0
Experiment.
By CECILY ALLEN.
Copyrlfhted, 190S, by Associated
Uwrary Vms.
' "The foundations of our social ays
torn are rotten to the core!" announced
,Han, leaning forward In the great
wicker chair to watch the progress ol
the little Italian across the velvet
lawn. '
Her brother Bob sank even mow
teply In his own cushioned chair and
studied the smoke curling upward front
the tip of his very good cigar.
"I told Uncle Henry this would bt
" tfee inevitable result of sending you tc
western co-d college. The social
tystem here Is quite good enough foi
; Kan's broad forehead was puckered
fe a thoughtful frown.
"Now, take that young Italian fore-
aaa of yours, for Instance! Whai
pot him la a different class from yout
The fact I that his , father had hoi
enough money to feed his big family
ad your father had too much money
to the good of his two children."
"BeaUy," remarked Bob, with eyes
fencing, "I never noticed any com
plaints from you about superfluity ot
"Give that man a Fifth avenue tal
ks; a valet and a motor car and he
would pass muster in our set shoulder
to shoulder with you."
"I don't know about that," pursued
Bob. "He might eat with his knlfe"-
: "Not after he had been told It was
wrong," said Nan, with conviction.
"Suppose he were wearing corduroy
to shooting instead of digging exca
vations. t Suppose he were wearing
ahlrt sleeves on a tennis court or the
Inks instead of In your employ. He
would be a gentleman, one of your
equals. He would look not a whit
' different from what be does today, but
we would accept him socially where
today we regard blm as our Inferior.
Boo cast amused glances at a cor
er in the porch roof where two birds
ere busily building a nest among the
Tinea. "And this Is the modern wo
tan the effect of the higher educa
tion," be murmured.
- It might have been the birds, cooing
d contended, or It might have just
Jbeen the love of mischief which some
men never outgrow even when, like
Xobert Darnton, they can count Iron
gnty hairs by the score above each
"temple. At any rate, he sat up very
suddenly and determinedly and regard
id his sister quite seriously.
"Have you the courage of your con
tfctIonsT Are you willing to put your
theory to the test? Will you let me
Invite my foreman here as an equal,
provided, of course, that I secure the
stipulated Fifth avenue tailoring, the
man' and the motorr
k "Good gracious, Bob, you move so
voddenly!" suggested Nan.
"No time like the present, and I In
sist that any one who attacks our so
cial system should proyeltsjottenness
hen she has the opportunity. T will
Invite my foreman here as a guest 7
win agree that he Is properly coached
for his part (it would not be fair to
ton blm Joose on our unsuspecting
guests withouT some training), and then
I will wager you a diamond sunburst
against a crocheted tie that you ask
Be to put him out of the house before
the week Is up."
Nan's glance traveled once more
across the expanse of green lawn.
The lithe figure of the Italian was
Just disappearing behind a clump of
fhzuMcry. Well, In appearance, at
least, he could do the bouse of Darn
Ion no discredit Anyhow, why should
a girl who was planning settlement
work for the fall shrink at the thought
f having one "case" In her home for
a few days? She would have to live
among them in the fall!
' "Well?" Inquired Bob. watching her
lovely, changeable expression with ap
preciative eyes.
"Let him come!" she answered, with
assumed nonchalance and there was
ao denying it something of pleasure
that she was to meet again the glance
ef the Italian's wondrous brown eyes.
Standing on the lower step of the
porch, he had looked a veritable young
god. "Only you are not to tell him
that the Idea, the theory, is mine."
So did Vlncenzo Pantozzi join the In
nermost circle of the social set graced
fey the Darntons came also a rakish
yellow racer of foreign make, a man
versed in all the mysteries of the tai
loring world, and a wardrobe which
was a credit at least to Bob Darnton's
generosity.
On one point Vlncenzo stood firm.
He must be permitted to leave the
house every morning In time to join
his workmen who were building the
marvelous Italian garden at the lower
end of the estate. If the fair chate
laine often shared his early breakfast,
her zeal as a sociological student was
to her command.
Barring a few times when Vlncenzo
gripped the wrong table utensil in bis
nervousness or dropped his spoon or
fork, he did very well at table, and
there was do need of dread on the part
ef his hostess when the elaborate week
end dinner was scheduled.
"It is marvelous what imitative crea
' tores wt all are," she observed men
tally one morning. She bad ordered
the early breakfast served on the side
porch, and the . scent of honeysuckle
was all over.
: And then Vlncenzo, looking up,
caught sor ' !ng-he did not know
Just wh ?r calm gray eyes and
promptly proceeded to upset a tqgat
pitcher of cream.
Every night Vlucenao came In from
the embryonic Italian gardens to Dt
shaved and dressed by the stolid Eng
llshman provided by his host
If there were no guests for tho even
lug Bob weut a-calllitg on his neigh
burs and the fair chatelaine found
herself spinning In the moonlight bo
side the pseuJo owner of the raklsb
yellow car, who was taking to luxury
and the social career as a duck taket
to water. ; ' ' :
To be sure, Rob so jested rathei
heartlessly that the week end party
bad best be postponed. It Is one thlnt
to conduct a social experiment, he re
marked, and another, to explain
when the experimenter was a charm
lug young woman. And the expert
mented one well, there ' was no ust
talking! Vlncenso bad proved ni
sloucbt ' 'u 'r ' ' 1
And on the evening of the sixth daj
Bob tame home from the city late
Dinner had been served.. The porct
was deserted. '
No, Miss Darnton and Mr. Pantoss
were not out motoring. The gentle
man (what nice shades of meaning
stolid faced servant can put Into a slm
pie phrase) had gone away In his cm
alone and Miss Darnton. was In het
room, quite HI with a headache.
Headache notwithstanding, she burst
into her brother's study directly tbt
servant had gone back to the rear ol
the house. Her face was quite pale
Her eyes shone with unnatural brll
liancy from the center of dark circles
"I've come to acknowledge my do
feat. Bob," she Bald bitterly. "Mi
start your tie In the morning, and 1
wish you would see that Vln Mr
Pantozzi leaves the house before
start the tie,"
"Whewr gasped Bob. "What hat
be done? . Eaten peas with a spoon
or demanded macaroni uncut?"
Nan leaned wearily against a cbali
and her mouth drooped.
"It has been a dreadful mistake
Bob. Don't joke about it, dear. Yiu
cenzo tonight he has fallen In love
with me!"
Bob leaned back in his chair and
laughed heartlessly.
"Which goes to show," he gasped be
tween paroxysms, "that your theory L
entirely correct He fell right into out
life, our ways. He Is one of us. 1
dou't know a heart free., man in oui
crowd who would not fall In love with
you If he bad the opportunities of
seeing you in yonr most charming,
womanly moods, as poor Pantozzi has.
Don't blame blm for that! It's a bad
theorist who won't accept the results
of her own experiments."
I didn't think you would take It like
this, Bob. I thought the honor of the
famlly"-
Bob bit his Up.
"Did be say anything that reflected
on the Darnton honor?"
Xo-o. He was lovely, but a bit hys
terical He said well, you know what
they all say that I was the one wo
manthat he was unworthy of me
that he would not have placed me In
such a. false position but be should
love me always and then he jumprf
Into his car your car, 1 mean and
went down the drive like mad."
He didn't happen to say that lie
thought it a shame for a pretty git-! to
lose by trickery the best sunburst Tif
fany could put up, did he?"
Bob," gasped his sister, leaning
heavily against the table, "did In
know?" 'Everything, my dear! Vlncenzo Is
a chap I met in Paris, the younger so:i
of an old Roman family who have
nothing but chapels and marbles and
paintings which the state will not per
mit them to sell, and Vlncenzo was
studying architecture with the lauda
ble Intention of earning a fortune to
keep the confonnded chapels and rel
ics in the family. I gave him bis first
commission, and he has retaliated by
demanding the hand of my only sister.
That's gratitude for. you! I'll send
him packing In the morning," said
Bob, with assumed fierceness. Then
suddenly a figure all In white nestled
against bis broad shoulder; a slim arm
rept around his neck. ...
"I'd I'd rather you wouldn't. Bob.
need a new sunburst worse than any
thing else In the world, except"
A glimpse of Pantozzi's face at this
minute and there's bis car!"
Artemus Ward's Accomplishment.
On the occasion of Artemus Ward's
professional visit to London, which oc
curred not long before his death, J. E.
Preston Muddock says In bis book.
Pages From an Adventurous Life."
that the American humorist's advertise
ments of his "show" were as full of
funny surprises as the lectures them
selves. One that tickled the general
public was this:
Artemus Ward delivered Lecturer
Before All the Crowned Heads of Europe
ever thought of delivering lectures.
And an excerpt from his lecture on
"Drawing" Is quoted by Mr. Muddock
as a particularly delightful bit.
"I haven't distinguished myself as an
artist," Ward said in his inimitable
way, "but have always been raised up
in art. I have an uncle who takes
photographs in his sane moments, and
I have a servant who takes everything
he can lay his bands on at any mo
ment "At a very tender age I could draw
on wood. When a mere child I once
drew a small cart load of raw turnips
over a wooden bridge. It was a raw
morning. The people of the village
recognized me. They said it was a
raw turnip drawing. That shows bow
faithfully I had copied nature. I drew
their attention to It, so you see there
was a lot of drawing in It
"The villagers, with the wonderful
aiscernment peculiar to villagers, said
1 had n future before me. As I was
walking backward when I made my
drawing, I replied that I thought my
future must be behind me,"
- WINNING A COAT.'
The Clever 8ohmt That Was Worked
by a French Thief,
A Freuehtnnu had been attending the
Comedlo Ftaivcnlse, and after the per
formance ho took a gloomy byway lu
order to make a short cut to tiio Bou
levard Moutmartre. lie noticed as be
hastened through the dark a slight tug
on his coattail, but to this be paid no
attention. When he reached the bright
boulevard, however, he found, to his
great mortification, that ono tall of his
clawhammer coat had been cut off.
He notllled a journalist ot bis loss, and
the next morning an account of the
odd theft appeared in the Figaro. That
afternoon a man In a blue uniform
called on him. -
"I come, monsieur," the mau said,
"from the bureau of nollce. We hare
captured a suspicious character who
had lu his pocket a piece of fine black
cloth. Let me have your mutilated
coat, sir. If the piece fits It, we will
know tjmt we hare appreheuded the
man who robbed you."
. The other surrendered his coat, and
from that day to this he heard no more
about It. The pretended official was.
of course,, the thief, who bad adopted
that aduactous means of getting the
coat In order to atach to It the pur
loined tall.
1 i
: Who Knows?
Alice toiled slowly up the stairs, pa
per and peucll In hand, ready to ask
questions of the first person she en
countered. Being just six, she was at
the Inquiring age aud endeavored to
make everybody's life a burden to
them.
The first person she encountered was
Bridget, the upstairs girt
"Pwease, Bwldget" she piped, "glf
me ve letters of ve alfablt."
SU...1.V and Impressively Bridget
complied.
"An now, Bwldget" proceeded Alice,
pwease glf me ve letters vat ain't lu
ve afablt."
Bridget thought Then she thought
again. She was puzzled.
Finally she said:
"I'll tell ye tomorrow," and went
down to ask cook. London Queen.
The Colonies In Engltsh Eyes.
The average Englishman, and it is
surprising In what numbers be exists,
has a vague conception of colonies gen
erally. He has some hazy notions of
Virginian plantations and transporta
tion settlements and crown colonics
where a peppery military man of the
old school takes up the white man's
burden by holding autocratic sway
over unclad barbarians. The concep
tions are more often than not fifty
years behind the times. Sydney Lone
Hand.
The Oldest Jury.
The oldest Greek poet has left us a
picture of what the jury was In his
time. The primitive court Is sitting.
and the question la "guilty" or "not
guilty." The old men of the commu
nity give their opinions In turn. The
adjudicating democracy, the commons,
standing round about applaud the
opinions which strike them most and
the applause determines the decision.
Such was probably the earliest form of
Jury.
The British Drama!
It' Is absolutely true that the British
public goes to the theater to be amused,
not to be Instructed. It considers that
It pays Its money to le amused, and It
sullenly resents the presence of any
powder In the Jam. It is when this atti
tude changes that the great renaissance
of the British drama will arrive. Lon
don Graphic.
SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES.
Agricultural College
CORVALLIS, OREGON.
Offers collegiate courses in Agri
culture, including Agronomy, Horti
culture, Animal Husbandry, Dairy
Husbandry, etc.; Forestry; Domestic
Science and Art; Civil, Electrical,
Mechanical and Mining Engineering;
Commerce; Pharmacy.
Offers elementary courses in Agri
culture, Forestry, Domestic Science
and Art, Commerce, and Mechanic
Arts, including forge work, cabinet
making, steam fitting, plumbing, ma
chine work, etc.
Strong faculty, modern equipment;
free tuition; opens September 25.
Illustrated catalogue with full in
formation on application to the
Registrar, free. ,
NOTICE TO STOCKHOLDERS.
i--L 'I -fli1iU. l-iUi"l. f"C-iTL i - I 1""
THE ANNUAL MEETING ,OF
the stockholders of the Odd Fel
lows' Land & Building Association
will be held Thursday, August 27,
1908, at 2:00 p. m., at Odd Fellows'
hall, by order of president.
JOHN HAHN, Secretary.
Plate Racks, Wall Pockets,
Music Racks, Clock Shelves
Just in-See us
Hildebrand & Gor
Old Bee Hive Bldg.
SICU IKniVRMll.
JBBeS'VI ti Bis for
. .- ...(..,... ,.t miiRAnB IllfimDrftDM.
,Mmii (aula. Piinlui. and not Mtrio
iTHEVAN8CHEMICLC0. gent or poinoDOui.
. OIS0INHTI,Oi
Sold by vnnmii
or lent In plain wrapper
hr exp.rowt, prapaiu,
1.00. or 3 iotuii.'
Circular tent on ruuM
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS
3.r.U!
HELP WANTED
MESSENGER BOYS WITH Bi
cycles wanted at the Western
Union. 8-22-tf
FOR SALE-REAL ESTATE
FOR SALE AT X'BARGAilj Tvo
lots and an eight-room mod
ern house with bath. For particular
address B. 100, Aitorian office. 19-6t
TO LET FURNISHED ROOMS
fuwhshedttagTo
street with piano and 'sewing ma
chine to parties without children, $20
a month rent. Address D. B., Ai
torian, ' 8-22-tf
to SALE.
FOR SALE A 100-PIECE SET OF
Haviland China, in perfect condi
tion, cheap. Inquire at the McCrea-
Ford studio. 7-15-tf
FOR SALE CHEAP, ONE SCHOL
arship In the International Corres
pondence School of Scranton. En
quire Astorian office. 8-7-tf
OLD PAPERS FOR SALE; PER
hundred, 25 cents. At Astorian Office
HOUSE MOVERS.
FREDR1CKSON BROS.-We make
a specialty of house moving, car
pentert, contractors, general jobbing;
prompt attention to all orders. Cor
ner Tenth and Duane streets. ,
MASSAGE.
OLGA KANTONEN, FINNISH
masseuse and steam baths, room 6,
Pythian Bldg., Commercial St., As
torian, Ore.
LOST AND FOUND.
FOUND-GOLD WATCH, CHAIN
and locket; owner can have same
by thoroughly identitfying property
and paying for this notice. Inquire
Astorian. 8-18-tf.
LOST-ON THE LEWIS AND
Clark road on Sunday, August 16, a
fishing outfit; a suitable reward will
be given. Finder please return to the
Astorian. 8-18-tf
MISCELLANEOUS.
MAGAZINE BINDING OF ALL
kinds done at the Astorian Office.
LOOSE LEAF LEDGERS ALL
kinds made by The J. S. Dellinger
Company.
WANTED TO BUY A HORSE;
weight about 1250 pounds; not over
8 years old; must be good driver and
gentle, also city broke. Address As
torian office. 6-9-tf.
EMPLOYMENT OFFICE.
J. T. NOWLEN
Real Estate and Employment Office
473 Commercial St, Phone
Have fine list of Astoria and coun
try property. AH classes of labor
furnished.
WINES AND LIQUORS.
Eagle Concert Hall
(320 Astor Street)
Rooms for rent by the day, week, ot
month. Bes rates in town.
P. A. PETERSON, Prop.
BIDS FOR WOOD.
BIDS ARE HEREBY ASKED FOR
furnishing 60 cords of sound "fir
stabwood, four feet in length; said
wood to be delivered on the court
house block within 10 days from dafe
of signing contract; said bids to be
filed with the clerk on or before
August 24th, at 9 o'clock a. m.f 1908;
contractor to furnish bond in the sum
of one hundred ($100) dollars. Court
reserving right to reject any or all
bids. By order of the County Court,
J. C. Clinton, County Clerk. 8-18-6t
MISCELLANEOUS.
H O TO R COLD
olden West
ESS
lea
Just Right
CLOSSET & DEVERS,
PORTLAND, ORE.
- ia - .x - ,
PROFESSIONAL CARD.
ATTORNEYS- AT-LAW
CHARLES H. ABERCROMBIE
Attorney-it-Law
City Attorney Office! City Hall
" JOHN C. McCUE,
Attorney-at-Law
Page Building, Suite 4
HOWARD M. BROWNELL
Attorney-st-Law
Deputy District Attorney
420 Commercial Street
OSTEOPATHS,
DR. RHODA C. HICKS
Osteopath
Office .Vansetl Bid. Phone Black 2065
i73 Commercial St.. Astoria, Ore.
DENTISTS
DR. VAUGHAN
Dentist
Pythian Building, Astoria, Oregon
DR. W. C LOO AN
Dentist
Commercial St Shtnahan Bldg.
BUSINESS DIRECTORY.
RESTAURANTS.
TOBaOJsl JJAJJBANT.
Opposite Ross, Higgins & Co.
Coffee with Pie or Cake 10 Cta.
FIRST-CLASS MEALS
Regular Meals 13 Cts. and Up.
XT. 8. RESTAURANT.
434 Bond Street
Coffee with Pie or Cake, 10 Cta.
First-Clau Meals, IS Cta.
MISCELLANEOUS.
Smith's Special
Delivery
EXPRESS AND BAGGAGE
Leave Orders at Star Cigar Store.
Phone Black 2383
Rat. Phone Red 2271
Stand Corner 11th an Commercial
DENTISTS.
TECTff-
COR. 11TH AND COMMERCIAL.
Office hcurs 8:30 A. M. to
8: P. M. Sunday 10:00 to
12:00. ,
Phone Number Main 3001.
Painless Extractions - 5oc
Corner Commercial and 11th
Sts. over Danziger store.
FISH MARKET.
I
77 Ninth St., Near Bond
Fresh and Salted Fish,
Game and Poultry,
Groceries, Produoe and Fruit
Imported and Domestic
Goods. ' .
, BAKOTITCH & FEO, Props.
Phone Red 2183
SCHOOLS AND
iicill
Seattle
Fs
artel
You want the best money can buy in food, clothing, home comforts,
.pleasures, etc., why not in education?
Portland's"! Leading Business College :
offers such to you and at no greater cost than' an inferior school.
Owners practical teachers More Calk than we can fill
Teachers actual business men In session the entire year
Positions guaranteed graduates Catalogue "A" for the asking
I. M. WALKER, Pres. O. A. BOSSERMAN, Secy.
--i-rmiTtrf-,;y,f-;-r-irirriXrii.-iiirr-Tri;Hr--a
- uwDimms. -
J. A, G I LB A UGH
Umlerinker ami Kitttialmet
BiHtialmeri' ,
Riprlrncil Lady Alntant
When Uetured,
Cftltn Promptly Atteuded iy
or Night.
Tattoii Bdjr. IStU and Duane 8U
Phone Main Uti I
' MIOICAU
- -1 -ii 1 i ' i it n n nruururu
Uopreeueaie4 1
Bueaetsea'af j
03. CtE 10
TBICUAT
CinfXSS DOCTOl
Vlt la ItBdva
throngboat the United
tic. . " .tv r
si wonatnui nurse.
No potooea or drags usee Be fue
tees to eur eatarra, asthma, lung sad
throat trouble, rheumatism, aervoiiMessV
stomach, Urer and kldaev. female roes Y
plaint and all ehronle diseases.
UbtftSSrUI, HU23X TKXaTKZXT.
If you eaaoot eall write for symptom
blank sod elreulsr, Incloting 4 eeata
stamps.
TBI C. Gil WO MMCIK1 CO. 1
ICt First St., Corner Morrfsoe.
PORTLAND, OBXCOlf.
PWse mention the Astoria.
PLUMBERS.
IJJIG01Y
PLUMBER
Beating Contractor, Tinner
':v:t AND -
Sheet Iron Worker
UL WORK GUARANTEED
423 Bond Street
Younce & Baker
PLUMBERS
TINNERS
Steam and Gas Fitting
All Work Guaranteed. 126 Eighth
Street, opp. Post Office. Phone Mala
4061.
LAUNDRIES.
WE WASH
Everything but' the Baby and return
everything but the dirt.
TROY LAUNDRY
Ttnth: and Duane
Phone Main 1991
4
CONCRETE .
WORK DONE
ANY PERSON WANTING ANY
CONCRETE WORK DONE AT
THE CEMETARIES, WILL
PLEASE LEAVE ORDERS AT
POHL'S UNDERTAKING
FICE.
OP-
E.NYAUN
Astoria, Ore.
P. O. Box 603.
COLLEGES
c
MJ :'. ; . ..
"J !!',! V