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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (July 11, 1908)
THE MORNING ASTORIAN, ASTORIA, OREGON. SATURDAY, JULY 1, 1908. WHAT IS A GAS? Wall, Hir It Lord Kslvln's Quaintly Ecc.ntrio Definition. One of tbo late Lord Kelvin's stu dents at 'the University of Glasgow write of some of the old scientist's peculiarities: "To those who attended the natural philosophy class at Glas gow university Lord Kelvin, or, rather, Sir Billy (for to that length our Ir reverent love of the genial old man would go), Is a cherished memory a memory of a great man who gave ar- Ucnlate shape to the thoughts that) 1 Star is erecting a plant at ' PORTLAND, OREGON for the manufacture of their world famous PORTABLE WELL DRILLING MACHINES for water, oil, gas, etc., etc. A moderate amount of money will start yoa in a profitable business. STAR PORTABLE DRILLING MACHINES have been proved by Competitive Tests to be PI La CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS HELP WANTED THE STAR articulars i OHIO. wander through eternity.' Ills appeal i to our humorous faculties was duel partly to some personal peculiarities, partly to the sublimely unconscious use of very familiar objects and ex tremely colloquial phrases to Illustrate his great thoughts on great things. Kavap hlAfioori with n.n-rn nt rlar enunciation, he had a way of wrestlln ;; with certain words and giving thera a prolonged rolling Intonation that added j point to those unintentionally humor;! ous observations which he was ever making and for which, thoughtless yet I ot wholly unlovable crew that we were, we were ever looking. Let me cite some examples. Lecturing on the nature of a gas one day. Lord Kelvin j thus delivered himself: 'Imagine a1' thousand million students rushlne with Incredible velocity in one direction and Twenty years of experience tells thousand million students rushing me that a whole regiment of lions EV2S? KTi.'TSSh"" " - Doubtless, but the homely simile com- as one twelve-foot African tusker pelled laughter and at the same ttme jwhen he cocks his big sail-like ears, left us both mystified and enlightened. draws himse,f w f h "But his greatest feat was the play- ... ... 7. teg of a simple tune on a huge trom- and ,0?ks at you UtUng. oS at ,he bone. Conceive, if you can, a learned THE ELEPHANT AT BAY professor of silvered locks and beard, dressed In the black robes of his office and surrounded by scientific Instru ments, slowly squeezing from a giant trombone some familiar air and you will understand why I have said that Lord Kelvin often made too strong appeal to our sense of the humorous. For himself he was sublimely uncon scious of the humorous picture which he presented. He was too intent upon his scientific triumph for the laughter and it was laughter that literally held both Its sides to reach his ears. "Lord Kelvin was once In his usual delightfully Inconsequent way rambling 1 same time a blood curdling scream: while in all probability others invis ible to you are stampeding on all sides with the din and vibration of an earthquake. Surrounded in a dense jungle by a herd of elephants they seem to block out the whole horizon. One I measured was actually sixteen feet from edge of ear to edge of ear. No wonder my insignificant self seem ed to shrivel and my huge express rifle to dwindle into a mere pea shoot er. Try as I will on such occassions, I can never overcome my sense of terror, and always feel inclined to for safety till I drop. Success Magazine. Kemp' Balsam is safe eeugh eon, for it contains nothing thai can barm you. It ie the best cough cure, but costs no more than any other kind. All druggists sell it along and letting his great mind slow- j throw down my elephant gun and run ry unfold Its great thoughts. One of the many subjects on which he touch ed was the transmission of light from distant worlds. 'Here,' he said, 1 have a calf 8 foot Jelly made by Lady Thom son. Observe the wabbly motion of the Jelly here suiting the word by ac tion. Gentlemen, for aught we know to the contrary, interstellar SDace mar be one vast calf a foot Jelly.' . "He was, as I have said, singularly simple in many of his ways. To suc cessive generations of students be Illus trated 'uniform motion in a straight line in a singularly characteristic fash Ion. Lame in one leg, he always walk ed with a most marked limp, yet be Illustrated 'uniform motion in a straight line by hobbling round bis rostrum in a circle. 'I do not believe that he ever knew why bis pathetically hnmorous way of illustrating a simple fact In kinetics made his successive classes "smile confoundedly loud." Chicago News. When you need a cough cure you need one that will cure your cough. Kemp's Balsam, the best cough cure, will do it. All druggists sell it for 25 cents. Was in Poor Health For Years Ira W. Kelley, of Mansfield, Pa., writes: "I was in poor health for two years, suffering from kidney and blad der trouble, and spent considerable Women with good complexions are never homely. Good blood makes good complexions. Lane's Family Medicine makes good blood. All druggists sell it for 25 cents. WANTED TWO MESSENGER boys. Apply Western Union, 7-4-tf WANTED A HOUSE GIRL; $23 per month. Enquire at lloefler'i. M-tf My stock of men's and boy's wantisd-a boy or young man for kitchen work; good oppor , , , - tunity to learn cooking; $25. Ham- Shoe? IS Unsurpassed for qua- mond Lumber Co. Boarding House, ! Phone B. 2446. . 7-4-tf lity. Close buying and low. wanted good man in every I locality; good pay; experience un expenses enable me to sell the necessary to represent large -real , j estate organization, write today. R. F. hMtniiftlitiVsftt lowest nricps. Lo Co- D Moines, Iowa. PROFESSIONAL CARD), UNDESTAKXSa. attorneys-at.law charles h. abercrombie Attorney-at-Law City Attorney Offices: City Hall J.A, UIL11AUUI1 & CO., Umlertnkcr and Kmlialruers. Experienced I,dr Assistant When Desired. JOHN C McCUS . Attorney-at-Law Deputy District Attorney. Page Building SnUe f wW 19 9 V M FOR SALE. S. A. GIMRE 543 Bond Street ! for SALE-20 automatic I nickel in the slot weighing scales, 1 I electric nicker in the slot piano, set j up and in operation in differen sa , loons in the city; price $200 cash; will ! !- ..... tYI - . L. A I Idling in uvcr ftvu niunin. fluorest HOWARD M. BROWN ELL Attorney-at-Law Office with Mr. J. A. Eakin, a: Commercal St., Astoria. 420 "B.," Astorian. 6-4-tf. TRANSPORTATION. The PASSENGERS II FREIGHT $2500.00 BUYS 160-ACRE DAIRY and fruit farm; three and one-half miles from best market in Oregon; fully stocked; terms. Address L. C. Smith, Newport, re. 7-4-4t Steamer - Lurline Night Boat for Portland and Way Landings. Leaves Astoria daily except Sunday at 7 p. m. Leaves Portland Dairy except Sraday at 7 a. m. Qakk Service Excellent Meals Good Bertha Landing Astoria Flavel Wharf. Landing Portland Foot Taylor It J. J. DAY, Agent Phone Mala 2761. FOR SALE ONE SIX MONTHS' scholarship in a Business College ! of Portland. Enquire Astorian office. I 6-30-61 FIRST-CLASS DKNSMORE TYPE writer, at half price; also light driv ing team, buggy and harness; to gether or separately. C. E. Barney, with Warren Packing Co., Astoria. OSTEOPATHS. ssssswissasasi DR. RHODA C. HICKS Osteopath Office Mansell Bldg. Phone Black 206S 673 Commercial St.. Astoria. Ore DENTISTS DR. VAUGHAN Dentist Pythian Building, Astoria, Oregon DR. W. C, LOGAN Dentist Commercial St Shanahan Bldg, FOR KXIIT. .FOR RENT FURNISHED AND I unfurnished rooms; electric light , and water. 454 Bond cor. 10th. 30-tf. MISCELLANEOUS. i .1-11-1 ,11 Ml. I ...I. U. WANTED-TO BUY A HORSE; weight about 1250 pounds; not over 8 years old; must be good driver and gentle, also city broke. Address As torian office. TEETH Without Plain, llll DEB COR. IITH AND COMMERCIAL HOUSE MOVERS. DAIRIES. Office hours 8:30 A. M. to 6-9-tf. 8: P. M. Sunday 10:00 to 12:00. Phone Number Main 3001. FREDR1CKSON BROS. We make nii a specialty of house moving, car- rM tZiraCIIOnj - 5QC Sultry crer Commtrcil1 and llth ner Tenth and Duane streets. fcts Over JJanziger Store. During the summer kidney irregu larities are often caused by excessive j drinking or being overheated. Attend jto the kidneys at once by using Foley's Kidney Coure. T. F. Laurin, Owl Drug Store. Quick Relief for Asthma Sufferers J?r1 Ar'c T-T nnan on1 &An money consulting phys.c.ans w.thout imniediate reiie t0 asthma sufferers obtaining any marked benefit, but was j in the worse stages and if taken in cured by Foley's Kidney. Cure, and I J time will effect a cure. T. F. Laurin, desire to add my testimony that it may J Owl Drug Store uc me cause or restoring tne neaitn The Vermont Dairy LOST AND FOUND. LOST BUNCH OF KEYS; FIND er will please leave at the Astorian and receive reward. 7-7-2t BUSINESS DIRECTORY. Call Promptly Attended Day or Night. Tatton Udjr. l'Jtlnmcl Duaii8U ASTOICIA. OUE.UON IMione Muln Jill , ' . MIOICAL. Uaprect.ste4 Suoexwe el D. i GEE HI) TBI GlUt ' CEIlftSI DOCT01 Who is knows l,.tlironghoot the Unltsl -i Dim on acevuai or (pkls worlrful eum. V mlm 1 iPVMvna or nin um os smaraa to eure eatarrb, astbraa. lua aaa i trvuoi, roeuniacism, BervouMess, ililM.l IImam - 1 LI U . "" a sanT. itmaw roia plaint and all ehronie dlaae. SUCCESSFUL HOME TRIATMZXT. If you cannot call writ for srmutoai blank and circular, inclosing 4 eaU la Stamps. THE t GEE WO MEDICIKE CO. 1121 First St., Oornor Morrtavw, P0STLAICD, 0SEGO1T. FkMte mtatioa the Astoria. PLUMBERS. ujiiin PLUMBER Heating Contractor, Tinner AND Sheet Iron Worker KLL WORK GUARANTEE!; 42S Bond Street LOST-A 9MNCH MESH NET, All milk aerated before bottling.1 marked F. N., near Sand Island. Specialty made of one cow's milk for i The 'inder will be rewarded if re- infants. Satisfaction guaranteed. , turned to the Union Cannery. Phone 14 Fanners line. W. J. INGALLS. WINES AND LIQUORS. of others." Refuse substitutes. Laurin, Owl Drug Store. T. F. A TIME-SAVING DEVICE Every employee of the Bank of Ginseng as an Elixir. England is required to sign his name Many of the Chinese believe that i in a book on his arrival in the morn- when all other remedies fail and death ingi and if ate must give the reason Is at hand ginseng has the power to i,k T. . ( ( . .. h,!r, i!,Ht a , .LT. u : therefor. The chief cause of tardi- Eagle Concert Hall (320 Astor Street) Rooms for rent by the day, week, or month. Bes rates in town. P. A. PETERSON, Prop. LOST-GOLD NECKLACE, JULY j 4th; finder return to this office and receive reward 7-7-3t I ILOST-BUNCII OF KEYS. FIND- er pleasure return to Astoria office and receive reward. 7-5-tf RESTAURANTS. T0KI0M1 ;!AUBANT, Oi posite Ross. Higgins & Co, Coilee with Pie or Cake 10 Cta. FIRST-CLASS MEALS Regular Meals IS Cts. and Up. MISCELLANEOUS. VETERINARY COLLEGE. SAN FRANCISCO VETERINARY College; next session begins, Sept. 15th. Dr. C. Keane, Pres., 1818 Mar ket street. Catalogue free. U. 8. RESTAURANT. 434 Bond Street Coffee with Pie or Cake, 10 Cts. FIrst-Class Meals, IS Cta. FISH MARKET. NOTICE. MM H II I OR COLD BIS ARE HEREBY ASKED FOR miming a Drioge across tne mouth Fis We! when they feel the need of it they will pay fabulous prices for certain kinds of roots. A root to be really valuable as I commodity must come from the mountains of Kirin or be reputed to have come from there. It must be bi furcated, so as to resemble as much as possible the human form, and be semi transparent, dry and flinty. Of course the larger the root the better, and as It Is sold by weight it is not very uncom mon for a good specimen to birtug as much as $10O an ounce. The value for srach a root Is in Us shape, its texture, the manner in which it has been cured and the region whence it came. But it must be borne in mind that out of a great quantity of roots only a very few of the kind described can be obtained, so that the average price of ginsen.sj Is even greatly lees than $100 per pound. ness is usually fog, and the first man to arrive writes "fog" opposite his mine, and those who follow write "ditto." The other day, however, the first late man gave as the reason, "wife had twins," and twenty other late men mechanically signed "ditto" underneath. Success Magazine. Would you give twenty-five cents t" stop your cough? Then get a bottl : of Kemp'g Balsam id you will havs i enough for the whole family. It cosU ; druggist 25c. COLLEGES. War Against Consumption All nations are endeavoring- to check the ravages ' of consumption, the "white plague" that claims so man victims each year. Foley's Honey and Tar cures coughs and colds perfectly and you are in no danger of consumption. Do not risk your health by taking some unknown preparation when Foley's Honey and Tar is safe and certain in results. The genuine is in a yellow package . ! SCHOOLS AND Study Law Golden West Tea Just Right CLOSSET & DEVERS, PORTLAND, ORE. Stimulation With Irritation In a recognized institution of learn ing. Such a one is the Department of Law of the University of Oregon. its graduates succeed and many of fhem are now prominent members of the Bench ;,:id Bar, Faculty of 17 instructors. Students have access to niv EE la 1 W i (iuaruitMq B4l to stricture. ItheEvansChemicuCo. CIHCINHATI.O e.g.. MEN AND WOMEN, U Big U for nnnkmral dlcliaririi, inflammation ' irritations or ulceration of niucouft membrane!. PainleBU, and not Mtrln gent or poinunoui. Hold by Dranrlita, or lent in plain wrappor, by xpr"i. prepaid, tot f 1.00. or 3 bottl". 2.7. ('irci)iai abut on reuuei a library of 10,000 volumnes. Next That is the watchword. That isiterm l,ens at"t September 21, 1908. what Orino Laxative Fruit Syrup j Free catalogue on application. Ad does. Cleanses and stimulates the bowels without irritation in any form. jflress Walter H. Evans, Secretary, 611 T. F. Laurin, Owl Drug Store. jCorbett Building, Portland, Oregon. MISCELLANEOUS. Smith's Special Delivery EXPRESS AND BAGGAGE Leave Orders at Star Cigar Store". Phone Black 2383 Res. Phone Red 2276. Stand Corner llth anl Commercial I 'of the Xecanicum, at Seaside, Oregon; , Said .bridge to be built according to I plans and specifications prepared by jVV. A. Grondnhl, now on file in the County Clerk's Office. Rids to be ft. J .1-- ii . . . iiico wiui ine county vicrK on or ne- fore July IS, 1908. The Court reserv ing the right to reject any or all bids. liy order of the County Court, J. C. CLINTON, Clerk. 77 Ninth St., near Bond 'Fresh and Salted Fish. Game and Poulirv. Groceries, Produce and Fruit Imported and Domestic Goods. P. Bakotitch A'Feo, Proprs. Ftaie Red 2181 E. C. YOUNCE AND W.F.BAKER PLUMBERS Tinners, Steam and Gai Fitting. All Work Guaranteed. 126 Eighth Street, opp, Post Office. Phone Main 4061. LAUNDRIES. Those Pleated Bosom Shirts The kind known by dressy men in the summer, are difficult articles to launder nicely. Unless you know just how to do it, the front pleats won't iron down smooth, and the shirt front will look mussy. Our New Press Ironer irons them without rolling or stretching. Try it TROY LAUNDRY, Tenth and Duane. Phone Main 1M1 SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES. UNIVCRSITV fir nsrr.Au sunriER sEssion Owm. la Bljionr, Ch.ml.t7, Wantloa, KaftUk yuwBtnwL Ojrroan, Franco. Spaolah, Hillary IMC A HTM KNT roA f AcWkl . fauloiru. addraaa U sniiTut, ssnruim tr missi, usiit, 1 SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES" PROPOSALS. NOTICE IS 'HEREBY GIVEN that the undersigned will receive bids, at his office in the City of Hood River, Oregon, up to July 15th, in clusive, for transcribing and indexing .ill records of Wasco County in any way affecting real estate situated in Mood River County, all transcripts to be typewritten in record books to be furnished by Hood River County. Bids should specify the amount per folio ; of one hundred words for transcribing and indexing said rec ords separately. A bond in the sum of three thousand dollars will be re quired to insure the faithful perform ance of the contract. The right is reserved to reject any or all bids. A. J. DERBY. County Judge of Hood River .County. BUSINESS COLLEGE WASHINGTON AND TENTH 8TRCCT8 PORTLAND, OREGON WRITE FOR CATALOG Th School that Places Ton in a Good Position TENTS and camping utensils See us before you take your outing. Hildebrand & Gor Old Bee Hive Bldg. Largest, best, most thorough and up-to-date.; Business College west of the Mississippi River. Three times as .many calls for help as can fill Craduates all employed. Each te.cher is an expert In his line and has had ACTUAL BUSINESS experience. If interested call or write for catalogue "A." I. M. WALKER, President. ; O. A. BOSSERMAN, Secretary.