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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (May 20, 1908)
WEDNESDAY. MAY 20, 1908. THE MOllNING ASTORIAN, ASTORIA, OREGON. I HIS NARROW ESCAPE. rV One Ptrguton't Brain AeUd QwloUly Enough. "Oor Irgtmiju,M nlmrily eielolm ed wife nftor tlie vlnltor Imd (jmiu, "I wouldn't for world lie nit big u hyp otTlio fiM yomtre!" "In wlint wny," tie demanded, "ban I Imh'U iictliiK tho hypocrite?" "You know well eiimiidi, When Conn, la Jt'rry Nliowcd un the picture of tlw young woman ho 1m trying to tniirry you mild, 'Hlm'u hn pri'tty us n picture" lul you know ulio I homely enough U looftea tun pit lut on lirlik wall." George wretched his clilu and re flected a moment. "Mr, Fenetmoii-iiindnm," be nid, "don't ncciiMo 1110 of hypocrisy. Slio In pretty n n plettirher own pic ture." Even then It did not occur to Mr, Ferguson to retort tbat this xplunn. tlon didn't help him nny, n tbe photo graph mirely wn retouched. And tin opportunity for cruwtilntr a huwhnml, once Iot, uever turm up gnlu.lilcKO Tribune. Not What Ho Mttnt. FtHoltoui. A Now England iiimi who flatten blaiMflf upon bin upturn In miylug tbe proper thing nt tbe proper time recent ly rrvlnltt'd IiIm old home In Vermont, whither be bait not gone In ten ytmre ' or more. Among tboNO be met during tbe flrat day of bin vtult was u coquettish spin ter, wbo, wlib a simper, ald: "I'm Mint Mullliw. Vou don't re member me, of course." "Iteinetiibc-r you!" exclaimed tbe .New England galluut. "A if I could help doing o, Mtwi MulllnaJ Why, yon are one of the landmark of the town!" Harpor'e Wi-clly. Walter (who hint jut served up some soup)-Looks uncommonly like rain, sir. Dlner-ies, by Jove, nnd taste like it , tool Firing mo eoma thick soup.- Tutler. , 8oiitlmnt Vorout 8nt. Tom-Mind IVncbly 1 rather eontl mental, Inn't (die? Juck -I badu't noticed it. Tom -Well. she Is. She keep every letter ehe gels from tbe sterner sex. Jack Oh, tbat lnu't sentiment; It In good, burd breach of promise eenne.- Bt, Loul roHt-Iiinpntcb. Extravagant. "John, I've got to have money to buy o new bat for Knitter. . "Great Scott, June, but you're ex travagaut Wbat did you do with all tbe money I gave you hint year to have your dd bat fixed overr-Bnltliuore American. May Official Tide Tables Compiled by the U. S. Government for Astoria and Vicinity. High Water, DaiteT WdH 1 ftaturdar I 8UNDAT I Monday 4 TueoJar 6 Wodneiday ( Thunday ....... 7 Friday I Saturday 8UNDAT 10 Monday 11 Tuesday .12 Wodneiday 13 Tnuruay n Ylday 15 BaturJay ..16 BUN DAT 17 Monday II Tuoaday 1 Wedneoday 20 Thursday 21 Friday 32 ftaturday 231 SUNDAY 24 Monday 25 Tueiday 25 Wednesday 27 Thursday 23 Tburaday .......28 Friday 29 Saturday 30 UNDAT 31 MAY. 1008, A M. h.m. 1:00 1:85! 3:08 2:49 3:22 4:05 4:50 5:55' 7:08 8:22 9:251 10:22 11:12 12:00 i .... 0:20 1:05 1:48 2:80 8:20 4:15 5:25 6:45 8:07 9:20 10:251 11:20 0:80 1:051 ft 9.2 9.1 8.8 8.4 8.0 7.4 7.1 1.4 9.1 4.1 9.4 6.9 7.8 7.6 9.1 9.1 9.0 8.8 8.8 7.9 7.4 6.9 6.8 7.0 7.8 7.6 9.0 8.8 PM. ium. I ft 1:601 1:85 3:18 4:05 4:55 6:441 6:88 7:38 8:26j 9:12 9:55 10:36 11:15 11:52 12:60 1:35 2:22 8:15 4:05 6:00 6:03 7:05 8:08 8:56 9:43 10:28 11:15 12:14 11:53 1:00 1:45 2:25 MAY, 1W8. fiffWittf."'"'.'!!. ZZL Pate, " h.m. ft fb.nv ft" Friday II 7:44 -0.6 7:"46f"r4 Saturday 2 8:26 -0.7 8:20 2.8 SUNDAY 8 9:00 -0.4 8:58 3.2 Monday 4 9:42-0.1 9:40 8.6 Tuoiday 5 10:26 0.3 10:28 8.9 Wodneiday 6 11:08 0.7 11:28 4.1 Thursday 7 11:64 1.1 Friday 8 0:40 4.0 12:45 1.6 Saturday 9 1:65 8.7 1:40 1.8 SUNDAY 10 2:50 8.2 2:38 2.0 Monday 11 8:40 2.6 3:28 2.1 Tuoaday 12 4:30 1.8 4:22 2.2 Wednexday 13 6:12 1.0 6:10 2.3 Thursday 14 6:55 0.3 6:53 2.3 Friday 15 6:32 -0.4 6:84 2.6 Saturday . 16 7:15 -0.9 7:15 2.8 SUNDAY 17 7:55-1.1 7:58 8.0 Monday 18 8:40 -1.2 8:48 3.3 Tuesday It 9:34 -1.1 9:42 8.5 ! Wednesday .....20 10:22 -0.7 10:45 S.7 Thuraday 21 11:20-0.2..-. Friday 22 0.00 8.512:20 0.3 Hut unlay 23 1:18 8.1 1:25 0.9 SUNDAY 24 2:28 2.5 2:26 1.4 Monday 25 8:30 1.8 8:26 1.7 Tuesday 26 4:28 0.9 4:26 2.0 Wednesday 27 6:20 0.2 5:18 S.2 Thursday 28 6:05 -0.4 6:03 2.6 Friday 29 6:60-0.8 6:45 2.8 Saturday 30 7:30-0.9 7:25 8.2 SUNDAY 31 8:10 -0.9 8:00 8.6 FAT FOLKS ONE DOLLAR invested in a bottle of theie wonderful, harmless fat reducing tablets and in 30 days you will be a normal, well formed person again. Don't carry around your ugly bulk, your ungainly superflous flesh. It makes you miserable, ridiculous and what is more important, it subjects you to fata consequences. Sudden death from fatty Degeneration, Heart Disease, Kid ney Tiouble, Apoplexy and Musular Rheumatism all come from OVER-FATNESS. , it hi MT1CORP0 R E M O V E S FAT Mil 1 Jtarmng Mis Fee. By COLIN S. COLLINS. Copyrlxlit, Hue. by M. M. Caoolughsm. II "What are you doing, bore, AlmoT" demanded Blake be ran acrotta bis llttlo boKtcHi In tho eo:jHcrvotory. Mrs. Tbcnrle lifted a tear stained face to lilnke's. In pl(e of her three unhappy years an tbe wife of Osmund Tbcarlo, who bnd obligingly drunk himself to death In tbe third year and left ber with her youth and a found million of dollars, Alma still was pa tbetlcally a child In many ways "It's perfectly horrid," she said sob blngly, "1 bnd planned to have this dance a sewmilon, and now" "It la perfect," declared Uhke warm ly. "Every one 1m saying that tbe ar rangements could not be Improved upon." "That's Jmt It," was tbe tearful re ponse. "It was all going so nicely, and now that horrid Count Cazman bus polled It ali." "lie has brcn annoying you!" Blake's face grew lrn, and bin bands clinch ed. Ever slaco they were children to gether be hid loved Alma. Tbat this somewhat repulsive scion of nobility should offer her a (Trout was not to be borne. "He bncu't said anything to me," ex plained Mrs. Tbearle, "but I don't be lieve that be In a count, for all of bis splendid letters of introduction. He stole Besslo Vardou'a bracelet You know the one I menu, he one with all tbe diamonds. I saw blm slip It from ber wrlHt She does not know yet Hho thinks she loot it. I have asked ber to say nothing about it for the" mo ment, and I came bere to think wbat I could do." "Rend for a policeman," suggested Blake grimly. He was resentful of the count's man ner toward Alma, and be would be glad to see the public humiliation of bis rival. "Heavens, I can't do that!" gasped Mrs. Tbearle. "Don't you see, Tanl, Thousands of Testimonials From Grate ful Persons Prove This YOUR MONEY BACK IF IT FAILS U A NTI-CORPU" is absolutely the greatest discovery in medicine for reducing FAT. It is made In the form of a little tablet out of VEGETABLE matter and is easy and pleasant to take. It is endorse! by every reputable Physician and College of Medicine. Ask your doctor. A ANTI-CORPU" is absolutely harmless. The formula used in making this preparation is on file In the Bureau of Chemistry in Washing ton, which is proof that it is PURE and HARMLESS. A 4TI-CORPU" reduces FAT from 3 to 5 pounds a week. It reduces Double chin, Fat hips and flabby cheeks. No wrinkles result from this reduction, for it makes the skin :lose fitting and smooth. ( A VJTI-CORPU" strengthens WEAK HEART, cures PALPITATION, t SHORT BREATH and acts like magic in MUSCULAR RHEU MATISM and GOUT. PrilP OO per ottIe Mney Dack if ' don't do all we l 1 ICC ajp X oVV da!,,,, n your druggist does not keep it, show him this advertisement and make him get it for you, -or you can send for it DIRECT to us. We pay postage and send in plain wrapper. PDPP 30 DAYS' TREATMENT IN EVERY BOTTLE. iKLL We 8Cn1 yu 1 ,,mP' of tbis wonderful fat reducing remedy on receipt of 10 cents to pay for postage and pack ing, The sample itself may be sufficient to reduce the desired weight. Mention this j?per. Desk 22, ESTHETIC CHEMICAL CO., 31 West 125th Street, New York, N. Y. , "I'd gladly pat nnsa thb cost," gasped MUH. TBEAKLC that If I should even accuse the count he would make a scandal, and tbat is the last thing I would wish for at my first entertainment since since" 'Since freedom came." Blake finished for her. Tbcarle's death bad been a matter of congratulation to more than his widow. "It a sort of second debut," she ran on. 'The count Is a sort of star fea ture, and to have him discovered aa a tblef would be to make the whole af fair a failure." "So It would," agreed Blake, "and yet we cannot get tbat bracelet back with out some sort of a scene. It's not fair to Bess to let blm get away with the Bpolls. It's easily worth $20,000." "I'd gladly pay Bess the cost" gasp ed Mrs. Thearle; "but don't you see, I can't do so without explaining why I should make good her loss." "And that would never do," agreed Blake. "The question la, What shall be done?" "That's what I want you to tell," was the trusting answer. "You have never failed me yet Paul, even when"- Blake nodded. No need to put Into words tbe memories of those troublous times when he had intervened to save her from the drunken whims of the man ber parents had forced her to marry. "I think I have an idea," he said after a moment of thought "I don't suppose the count knows that you saw him?" "I was on the other side of the room and with my back turned. I saw him In the mirror. He took it off Bessie's wrist and slipped it into the breast pocket of bla coat." "We used to have a lot of fun over my magic," Blake said remlniscently. "If s hardly the thing for a ballroom, but you might ask me to do a few tricks." "And borrow the bracelet of the count?" she asked hopefully. "Something like that," was the laugh ing answer. "I believe that you have a bracelet a little like Bess'. Well, put It on and ieni it to me WUBa i a ior It" - Mrs. Tbearle clapped her bands. "1 knew that yoo would think out some way," she declared. "Shall I ask yoa as soon as we get back to the ball room?" "In about a quarter of an hour," he explained. . "Don't let It look too cut and dried." Blake slipped out of tbe conservatory by another door, and his surprie was well simulated when be was asked to perform a few tricks, Mre. Tbearle bad only to make tbe suggestion, for tbe other gueKts eagerly took up the matter. Paul Blake bad at one time thought of going upon tho stage, for be was a more than ordinarily clever performer, and only the unexpected in heritance from a great-uuele bad bead ed off a professional career. Of late be bad refund all requests to perform in drawing rooms, as tbe de mands upon bis good nature bad be come too frequent, so there was tbe promise of novelty iu bis performance after two seasons of retirement He rapidly arranged bis improvised stage with a couple of tables and such simple properties as be Aould obtain from bis botttess, while tho guest stop-, ped dancing to crowd around and, watch bis really clever work. I "Here's a new one," be announced after be bad performed a routine of familiar vanishments and appearances. "For this I want a piece of jewelry a watch, a ring, anything." I A dozen articles were offered, for a number of times be had drawn upon tbe audience for handkerchiefs and other small loans. Without seeming to make any particular selection Blake took the bracelet tbat Mrs. Tbearle offered and palmed It while be pre tended to wrap it in a borrowed hand kerchief, which he gave to Mrs Thearle to hold. "lou are positive tbat yon feel the bracelet in tbe handkerchief?" he ask ed, and Mrs. Tbearle in answer to an almost imperceptible nod declared in tbe affirmative. Blake gave ber closed band a tap with tbe fan be used as a wand. "Do you feel It now?" he asked. Mrs. Thearle gave a well simulated cry of surprise and at Blake's direc tion unrolled the handkerchief to show tbat it was empty. "If the count will oblige me by tak ing the bracelet from his pocket Mrs. Tbearle will identify it as ber prop erty," announced Blake, stepping to ward tbe surprised foreigner. Before tbe count could act he bad thrust his hand within the pocket and obtained possession of the stolen brace let. A quick pass and the bracelet which be had borrowed from Mrs. Tbearle was in Blake's hand and the other was In bis pocket Later the stolen property was con venlently found by a servant and band ed to its owner, and Blake's trick was not thought of In connection with tbe find. "It was beautifully done," praised Mrs. Thearle as be lingered after the rest had gone. "No one suspected. Just knew that If I accused tbe count he would Insist upon making a scene. He is that sort of man." "As it was. be found tbe trick a de cided surprise," said Blako, with a reminiscent laugh. "It was worth th trouble Just to see bis face." "It was worth more than that" wan the warm response. "I'm glad vou think so," said Blake, taking possession of her hand, "for I am going to nsk the highest fee I have ever demanded. I want nothing less than you. Alma." "I think yon have earned your fee," she said simply. THE JEWEL w itn Moving Pictures and Illus trated Songs IS NOW OPEN Performances at The Bijou c Dream has been discontinued Cor. nth & Commercial lOPPOSITE STAR THEATRE WtWWIIIMHMWMIMIMiniMt ASTORIA & COLUMBIA RIVER RAILROAD Only All RailiRoute to PORTLAND LM EASTERN POINTS TWO DAILY TRAINS Steamship Tickets via all Ocean Lines at Lowest Rates. Through ticKets on sale. For rates, steamship and sleeping-car reservations, call, on or address G. B. JOHNSON, Generalf Agent 12th St., near Commercial St. Astoria, Oregon Do You Wear Shoes? We sell the kind; that wear longest and look the best The Dr. A Reed Cushion Shoe We handle a special line of Log ger Shoes Give us a trial S. A. GIMRE GOOD SHOES. 543 Bond St., op. Ross, Higgins & Co. pm;.m URINARY DISCHARGES BELIEVED IN 24 HOIfHS Each Cap. """" i sule bean fMIDY): the name" Btware qf counterfeit! ALL DEUOQIST3 ; Fisher Brothers Company SOLE AGENTS Barbour and Finlayson Salmon Twins and Netting McCormick Harvesting Machine Oliver Chilled Ploughs Malthoid Roofing -Sharpies Cream Separators Raecolith Flooring Storrett's Tool Hardware, Groceries,J Ship Chandlery Tan Bark, Blue Stone, Muriatic Acid, Welch Coal, Tar, Ash Oars, Oak Lumber, Pipe and Fittings, Brass Goods, Paints, Oils and Glass Fisha-rcn's Pure Manilla Rope, Cotton Twina and Seine Web We Wotit Your Trod FISHER BROS. BOND STREET J. Q. A. BOWLBY, President O. L PETERSON, Vice-President FRANK PATTON, Cashier J. W. GARNER. Assistant Cashier Astoria Savings Bank Capital Paid in $115,000. Surpl us and Undivided Profits, $100,000 Transacts a General Banking Business Interest Paid on Time Deposit FOUR PER CENT PER ANNUM. Eleventh and Duane Sta. Astoria, Oregon. John Fox, Pres. F. L. Bishop, Sec. Astoria Saving Bank, Treat Nelson Troyer, Vice-Pres. and Supt ASTORIA IRON WORKS DESIGNERS AND MANUFACTURERS OF THE LATEST IMPROVED ... Canning Machinery, Marine Engines and Boilers COMPLETE CANNERY OUTFITS FURNISHED. Correspondence Solicited. - - Foot of Fourth Street STEEL & EWART Electrical Contractors Phone Main 3881 ... . 426 Bond Street Subscribe for The Morning Astorian. SCO! BAY BSiSS I 111 Mil ASTORIA, OREGON ' I ON AND BRASS FOUNDERS UJs'D AKD WlHi EKSiEEE3 Up-to-Date Sawmill Machinery. Prompt attention given i ill rep it K Kt. lBln ana itanJtun Ave. - Td KsiiJ: