WEDNESDAY. MAY 20, 1908.
THE MOllNING ASTORIAN, ASTORIA, OREGON. I
HIS NARROW ESCAPE.
rV One Ptrguton't Brain AeUd
QwloUly Enough.
"Oor Irgtmiju,M nlmrily eielolm
ed wife nftor tlie vlnltor Imd (jmiu,
"I wouldn't for world lie nit big u hyp
otTlio fiM yomtre!"
"In wlint wny," tie demanded, "ban
I Imh'U iictliiK tho hypocrite?"
"You know well eiimiidi, When Conn,
la Jt'rry Nliowcd un the picture of tlw
young woman ho 1m trying to tniirry
you mild, 'Hlm'u hn pri'tty us n picture"
lul you know ulio I homely enough U
looftea tun pit lut on lirlik wall."
George wretched his clilu and re
flected a moment.
"Mr, Fenetmoii-iiindnm," be nid,
"don't ncciiMo 1110 of hypocrisy. Slio In
pretty n n plettirher own pic
ture." Even then It did not occur to Mr,
Ferguson to retort tbat this xplunn.
tlon didn't help him nny, n tbe photo
graph mirely wn retouched.
And tin opportunity for cruwtilntr a
huwhnml, once Iot, uever turm up
gnlu.lilcKO Tribune.
Not What Ho Mttnt.
FtHoltoui.
A Now England iiimi who flatten
blaiMflf upon bin upturn In miylug tbe
proper thing nt tbe proper time recent
ly rrvlnltt'd IiIm old home In Vermont,
whither be bait not gone In ten ytmre
' or more.
Among tboNO be met during tbe flrat
day of bin vtult was u coquettish spin
ter, wbo, wlib a simper, ald:
"I'm Mint Mullliw. Vou don't re
member me, of course."
"Iteinetiibc-r you!" exclaimed tbe .New
England galluut. "A if I could help
doing o, Mtwi MulllnaJ Why, yon are
one of the landmark of the town!"
Harpor'e Wi-clly.
Walter (who hint jut served up some
soup)-Looks uncommonly like rain,
sir.
Dlner-ies, by Jove, nnd taste like
it , tool Firing mo eoma thick soup.-
Tutler. ,
8oiitlmnt Vorout 8nt.
Tom-Mind IVncbly 1 rather eontl
mental, Inn't (die?
Juck -I badu't noticed it.
Tom -Well. she Is. She keep every
letter ehe gels from tbe sterner sex.
Jack Oh, tbat lnu't sentiment; It In
good, burd breach of promise eenne.-
Bt, Loul roHt-Iiinpntcb.
Extravagant.
"John, I've got to have money to buy
o new bat for Knitter. .
"Great Scott, June, but you're ex
travagaut Wbat did you do with all
tbe money I gave you hint year to have
your dd bat fixed overr-Bnltliuore
American.
May Official Tide Tables
Compiled by the U. S. Government for
Astoria and Vicinity.
High Water,
DaiteT
WdH 1
ftaturdar I
8UNDAT I
Monday 4
TueoJar 6
Wodneiday (
Thunday ....... 7
Friday I
Saturday
8UNDAT 10
Monday 11
Tuesday .12
Wodneiday 13
Tnuruay n
Ylday 15
BaturJay ..16
BUN DAT 17
Monday II
Tuoaday 1
Wedneoday 20
Thursday 21
Friday 32
ftaturday 231
SUNDAY 24
Monday 25
Tueiday 25
Wednesday 27
Thursday 23
Tburaday .......28
Friday 29
Saturday 30
UNDAT 31
MAY. 1008,
A
M.
h.m.
1:00
1:85!
3:08
2:49
3:22
4:05
4:50
5:55'
7:08
8:22
9:251
10:22
11:12
12:00
i
....
0:20
1:05
1:48
2:80
8:20
4:15
5:25
6:45
8:07
9:20
10:251
11:20
0:80
1:051
ft
9.2
9.1
8.8
8.4
8.0
7.4
7.1
1.4
9.1
4.1
9.4
6.9
7.8
7.6
9.1
9.1
9.0
8.8
8.8
7.9
7.4
6.9
6.8
7.0
7.8
7.6
9.0
8.8
PM.
ium. I ft
1:601
1:85
3:18
4:05
4:55
6:441
6:88
7:38
8:26j
9:12
9:55
10:36
11:15
11:52
12:60
1:35
2:22
8:15
4:05
6:00
6:03
7:05
8:08
8:56
9:43
10:28
11:15
12:14
11:53
1:00
1:45
2:25
MAY, 1W8.
fiffWittf."'"'.'!!. ZZL
Pate, " h.m. ft fb.nv ft"
Friday II 7:44 -0.6 7:"46f"r4
Saturday 2 8:26 -0.7 8:20 2.8
SUNDAY 8 9:00 -0.4 8:58 3.2
Monday 4 9:42-0.1 9:40 8.6
Tuoiday 5 10:26 0.3 10:28 8.9
Wodneiday 6 11:08 0.7 11:28 4.1
Thursday 7 11:64 1.1
Friday 8 0:40 4.0 12:45 1.6
Saturday 9 1:65 8.7 1:40 1.8
SUNDAY 10 2:50 8.2 2:38 2.0
Monday 11 8:40 2.6 3:28 2.1
Tuoaday 12 4:30 1.8 4:22 2.2
Wednexday 13 6:12 1.0 6:10 2.3
Thursday 14 6:55 0.3 6:53 2.3
Friday 15 6:32 -0.4 6:84 2.6
Saturday . 16 7:15 -0.9 7:15 2.8
SUNDAY 17 7:55-1.1 7:58 8.0
Monday 18 8:40 -1.2 8:48 3.3
Tuesday It 9:34 -1.1 9:42 8.5
! Wednesday .....20 10:22 -0.7 10:45 S.7
Thuraday 21 11:20-0.2..-.
Friday 22 0.00 8.512:20 0.3
Hut unlay 23 1:18 8.1 1:25 0.9
SUNDAY 24 2:28 2.5 2:26 1.4
Monday 25 8:30 1.8 8:26 1.7
Tuesday 26 4:28 0.9 4:26 2.0
Wednesday 27 6:20 0.2 5:18 S.2
Thursday 28 6:05 -0.4 6:03 2.6
Friday 29 6:60-0.8 6:45 2.8
Saturday 30 7:30-0.9 7:25 8.2
SUNDAY 31 8:10 -0.9 8:00 8.6
FAT FOLKS
ONE DOLLAR
invested in a bottle of theie wonderful, harmless fat reducing tablets and
in 30 days you will be a normal, well formed person again. Don't carry
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, it hi
MT1CORP0
R
E
M
O
V
E
S
FAT
Mil 1
Jtarmng
Mis Fee.
By COLIN S. COLLINS.
Copyrlxlit, Hue. by M. M. Caoolughsm. II
"What are you doing, bore, AlmoT"
demanded Blake be ran acrotta bis
llttlo boKtcHi In tho eo:jHcrvotory.
Mrs. Tbcnrle lifted a tear stained
face to lilnke's. In pl(e of her three
unhappy years an tbe wife of Osmund
Tbcarlo, who bnd obligingly drunk
himself to death In tbe third year and
left ber with her youth and a found
million of dollars, Alma still was pa
tbetlcally a child In many ways
"It's perfectly horrid," she said sob
blngly, "1 bnd planned to have this
dance a sewmilon, and now"
"It la perfect," declared Uhke warm
ly. "Every one 1m saying that tbe ar
rangements could not be Improved
upon."
"That's Jmt It," was tbe tearful re
ponse. "It was all going so nicely,
and now that horrid Count Cazman bus
polled It ali."
"lie has brcn annoying you!" Blake's
face grew lrn, and bin bands clinch
ed. Ever slaco they were children to
gether be hid loved Alma. Tbat this
somewhat repulsive scion of nobility
should offer her a (Trout was not to be
borne.
"He bncu't said anything to me," ex
plained Mrs. Tbearle, "but I don't be
lieve that be In a count, for all of bis
splendid letters of introduction. He
stole Besslo Vardou'a bracelet You
know the one I menu, he one with all
tbe diamonds. I saw blm slip It from
ber wrlHt She does not know yet
Hho thinks she loot it. I have asked
ber to say nothing about it for the" mo
ment, and I came bere to think wbat
I could do."
"Rend for a policeman," suggested
Blake grimly.
He was resentful of the count's man
ner toward Alma, and be would be glad
to see the public humiliation of bis
rival.
"Heavens, I can't do that!" gasped
Mrs. Tbearle. "Don't you see, Tanl,
Thousands of Testimonials From Grate
ful Persons Prove This
YOUR MONEY BACK IF IT FAILS
U A NTI-CORPU" is absolutely the greatest discovery in medicine for
reducing FAT. It is made In the form of a little tablet out of
VEGETABLE matter and is easy and pleasant to take. It is endorse!
by every reputable Physician and College of Medicine. Ask your doctor.
A ANTI-CORPU" is absolutely harmless. The formula used in making
this preparation is on file In the Bureau of Chemistry in Washing
ton, which is proof that it is PURE and HARMLESS.
A 4TI-CORPU" reduces FAT from 3 to 5 pounds a week. It reduces
Double chin, Fat hips and flabby cheeks. No wrinkles result from
this reduction, for it makes the skin :lose fitting and smooth.
( A VJTI-CORPU" strengthens WEAK HEART, cures PALPITATION,
t SHORT BREATH and acts like magic in MUSCULAR RHEU
MATISM and GOUT.
PrilP OO per ottIe Mney Dack if ' don't do all we
l 1 ICC ajp X oVV da!,,,, n your druggist does not keep it, show him
this advertisement and make him get it for you, -or you can send for it
DIRECT to us. We pay postage and send in plain wrapper.
PDPP 30 DAYS' TREATMENT IN EVERY BOTTLE.
iKLL We 8Cn1 yu 1 ,,mP' of tbis wonderful fat reducing
remedy on receipt of 10 cents to pay for postage and pack
ing, The sample itself may be sufficient to reduce the desired weight.
Mention this j?per. Desk 22, ESTHETIC CHEMICAL CO., 31 West
125th Street, New York, N. Y. ,
"I'd gladly pat nnsa thb cost," gasped
MUH. TBEAKLC
that If I should even accuse the count
he would make a scandal, and tbat is
the last thing I would wish for at my
first entertainment since since"
'Since freedom came." Blake finished
for her. Tbcarle's death bad been a
matter of congratulation to more than
his widow.
"It a sort of second debut," she ran
on. 'The count Is a sort of star fea
ture, and to have him discovered aa a
tblef would be to make the whole af
fair a failure."
"So It would," agreed Blake, "and yet
we cannot get tbat bracelet back with
out some sort of a scene. It's not fair
to Bess to let blm get away with the
Bpolls. It's easily worth $20,000."
"I'd gladly pay Bess the cost" gasp
ed Mrs. Thearle; "but don't you see, I
can't do so without explaining why I
should make good her loss."
"And that would never do," agreed
Blake. "The question la, What shall be
done?"
"That's what I want you to tell,"
was the trusting answer. "You have
never failed me yet Paul, even
when"-
Blake nodded. No need to put Into
words tbe memories of those troublous
times when he had intervened to save
her from the drunken whims of the
man ber parents had forced her to
marry.
"I think I have an idea," he said
after a moment of thought "I don't
suppose the count knows that you saw
him?"
"I was on the other side of the room
and with my back turned. I saw him
In the mirror. He took it off Bessie's
wrist and slipped it into the breast
pocket of bla coat."
"We used to have a lot of fun over
my magic," Blake said remlniscently.
"If s hardly the thing for a ballroom,
but you might ask me to do a few
tricks."
"And borrow the bracelet of the
count?" she asked hopefully.
"Something like that," was the laugh
ing answer. "I believe that you have
a bracelet a little like Bess'. Well, put
It on and ieni it to me WUBa i a ior
It" -
Mrs. Tbearle clapped her bands. "1
knew that yoo would think out some
way," she declared. "Shall I ask yoa
as soon as we get back to the ball
room?"
"In about a quarter of an hour," he
explained. . "Don't let It look too cut
and dried."
Blake slipped out of tbe conservatory
by another door, and his surprie was
well simulated when be was asked to
perform a few tricks, Mre. Tbearle
bad only to make tbe suggestion, for
tbe other gueKts eagerly took up the
matter. Paul Blake bad at one time
thought of going upon tho stage, for
be was a more than ordinarily clever
performer, and only the unexpected in
heritance from a great-uuele bad bead
ed off a professional career.
Of late be bad refund all requests to
perform in drawing rooms, as tbe de
mands upon bis good nature bad be
come too frequent, so there was tbe
promise of novelty iu bis performance
after two seasons of retirement
He rapidly arranged bis improvised
stage with a couple of tables and such
simple properties as be Aould obtain
from bis botttess, while tho guest stop-,
ped dancing to crowd around and,
watch bis really clever work. I
"Here's a new one," be announced
after be bad performed a routine of
familiar vanishments and appearances.
"For this I want a piece of jewelry a
watch, a ring, anything." I
A dozen articles were offered, for a
number of times be had drawn upon
tbe audience for handkerchiefs and
other small loans. Without seeming
to make any particular selection Blake
took the bracelet tbat Mrs. Tbearle
offered and palmed It while be pre
tended to wrap it in a borrowed hand
kerchief, which he gave to Mrs
Thearle to hold.
"lou are positive tbat yon feel the
bracelet in tbe handkerchief?" he ask
ed, and Mrs. Tbearle in answer to an
almost imperceptible nod declared in
tbe affirmative. Blake gave ber closed
band a tap with tbe fan be used as a
wand.
"Do you feel It now?" he asked.
Mrs. Thearle gave a well simulated
cry of surprise and at Blake's direc
tion unrolled the handkerchief to show
tbat it was empty.
"If the count will oblige me by tak
ing the bracelet from his pocket Mrs.
Tbearle will identify it as ber prop
erty," announced Blake, stepping to
ward tbe surprised foreigner.
Before tbe count could act he bad
thrust his hand within the pocket and
obtained possession of the stolen brace
let. A quick pass and the bracelet
which be had borrowed from Mrs.
Tbearle was in Blake's hand and the
other was In bis pocket
Later the stolen property was con
venlently found by a servant and band
ed to its owner, and Blake's trick was
not thought of In connection with tbe
find.
"It was beautifully done," praised
Mrs. Thearle as be lingered after the
rest had gone. "No one suspected.
Just knew that If I accused tbe count
he would Insist upon making a scene.
He is that sort of man."
"As it was. be found tbe trick a de
cided surprise," said Blako, with a
reminiscent laugh. "It was worth th
trouble Just to see bis face."
"It was worth more than that" wan
the warm response.
"I'm glad vou think so," said Blake,
taking possession of her hand, "for I
am going to nsk the highest fee I have
ever demanded. I want nothing less
than you. Alma."
"I think yon have earned your fee,"
she said simply.
THE JEWEL
w itn Moving Pictures and Illus
trated Songs
IS NOW OPEN
Performances at The Bijou
c Dream has been discontinued
Cor. nth & Commercial
lOPPOSITE STAR THEATRE
WtWWIIIMHMWMIMIMiniMt
ASTORIA & COLUMBIA RIVER
RAILROAD
Only All RailiRoute to
PORTLAND LM EASTERN POINTS
TWO DAILY TRAINS
Steamship Tickets via all Ocean Lines
at Lowest Rates. Through ticKets on
sale. For rates, steamship and sleeping-car
reservations, call, on or address
G. B. JOHNSON, Generalf Agent
12th St., near Commercial St. Astoria, Oregon
Do You Wear
Shoes?
We sell the kind; that wear longest
and look the best
The Dr. A Reed
Cushion Shoe
We handle a special line of
Log ger Shoes
Give us a trial
S. A. GIMRE
GOOD SHOES.
543 Bond St., op. Ross, Higgins & Co.
pm;.m
URINARY
DISCHARGES
BELIEVED IN
24 HOIfHS
Each Cap. """" i
sule bean fMIDY):
the name"
Btware qf counterfeit!
ALL DEUOQIST3 ;
Fisher Brothers Company
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FISHER BROS.
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O. L PETERSON, Vice-President
FRANK PATTON, Cashier
J. W. GARNER. Assistant Cashier
Astoria Savings Bank
Capital Paid in $115,000. Surpl us and Undivided Profits, $100,000
Transacts a General Banking Business Interest Paid on Time Deposit
FOUR PER CENT PER ANNUM.
Eleventh and Duane Sta. Astoria, Oregon.
John Fox, Pres. F. L. Bishop, Sec. Astoria Saving Bank, Treat
Nelson Troyer, Vice-Pres. and Supt
ASTORIA IRON WORKS
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