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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (April 24, 1908)
"FRIDAY, APRIL 24, 1908. 6 THE MORNING ASTOIil AN, ASTORIA, OHEG0N, e jHad Begun Saving Thousands ; When Calamity Happens. A PIG ESCAPES FROM ITS PEN H U'an Unruly Beast Despils Owner', I Plan to Rtar It With Kindness--Mrs. , i, B. Told to Pek Up Trunk and Leave r Home. " x i' Copyright, IMS, by T. C. McClure. The Bowser family had finished din nor and appeared to bo In for a pleas ant evening Mrs, Bowser was read lng a book, Mr. Bowser had his even tog paper and cigar, and the ent was rolling over and over on the heart' rug and thanking her stars that she was not a wanderer upon the face of the earth such a night as that. Fif teen minutes had passed when Mr. Bowser uttered an .ejaculation that di V.::-'- ' everything. , "V.::t Is It. dear?" he was asked. lie rose up and took two or three turns up and down the room before answering. :". "I Just sa w something in the paiw to remind me. Mrs. Bowser, I don't .want to be always finding fault with you, but there Is a matter I wish to apeak about this evening. I have de- ii MB. BOWS KB 8TCCK EIGHT TO IT. laved it for months, hoping to see an Improvement, but as there has been none I am at last forced to speak. "Well?" "It Is about jour reckless waste around the house." -. "But there Is no reckless waste. 1 defy you to fiud a house in this city where there is less waste of any kind." "Don't dispute m"e, woman. I am not the one to bring charges without good foundation. Bight down In your kitchen this evening is a garbage pail almost full of apple cores, pieces of bread, potato parings and other things, , enough to last a poor family for sev eral days." "Oh, I see! And do want those things made up in a hash for your breakfast?" , "Woman, don't turn to sarcasm to ex cuse your extravagance. I don't want those things made up In a hash, but It Is a sin and a shame to waste them. If we can't use them they should go to the poor." "The poor can have them and wel come. Bring on your poor and offer them potato peelings and see what they will say to you." "Then that proves my point that we Bhould keep a pig to eat such things. That's what the paper says. You throw away enough every day to keep a pig for a week. With a pig in the pen nothing Is wasted. It costs noth ing whatever to feed him, and at the end of a few months we have 200 pounds of Al pork. We have spare ribs, shoulders, hams and bacon. In place of throwing away a hundred dollars' worth of stuff we have a hun dred dollars' worth of pork. We have kept house twenty years. In that time we have lost at least $5,000 worth of pork." "I deny it," she replied. "You can't fatten a pig on table leavings, and you ought to know it. You've had two or three pigs since you kept house, and how did they come out?" "They would have come out all right had you not gone out to the pen with a clothes pole and kept them stirred up and afraid In order to spite me. To morrow this extravagance ceases. To morrow I build a pigpen and get a pig. I also give you notice that you will keep your hands off that pig or things will happen around here to make your heart ache." "Very well. Get your pig and I won't even let the cook go out to the pen to look at him." "And If, by your order, she mixes poison with the garbage and puts an end to his career" ' Glared at Mr3. B. And Mr. Bowser folded his arms aad glared at Mrs. Bowser with sucli a glare that the cat" softly crept iv.vlw the piano and the cook !bwn:-:ta!:r, fcl a shiver go up her 'bark -and. sr.!. t herself that some rw was -'walking over her grave. Instead p(' K-'n::; to the office next morning. Mr. Bowser got up to don an old suit of clothes an.l hie him to a lumber yard. lie selected what he wanted for the pen and paid 17.40 for it. There was no call for the services of an architect. During the previous night he had figured out just now he wanted it He would build a B DWSER BUYS PO two room pen-a parlor and a bedroom. When his pig wanted privacy he would finis bo assured of It It was cold, stormy day, and tht building of the pea was an all day Job. Mr. Bowser stuck right to It, however, and Just at dark he had the "lnstltu tlou," finished and the bedroom filled with clean straw. Mrs. Bowser sug gested a feather bed and woolen blan kets, but her words passed unheeded. lie had figured on going out into the country next day to buy his pig. but ns he stood surveying the finished pen a man caiuo through the alley and stop ped to say: 1 , "Hello, neighbor! Been building a pigpen?" "As you see.". "But Where's your pig?" "I'll get him of some farmer tomor row" - "See here, neighbor," continued the man after looking the pen over more closely, "don't you think of buying a pig of a farmer. He will cheat the cyeteeth out of you. I live over on Chestnut street Last fall I bought a : pig; but as I didn't know anything about building a pen, ho hasn't got along as well as I hoped for. 1 didn't suppose that a pig wanted any privacy, and I didn't provide for a bedroom. My wife Is doVn with rheumatism and can't feed him, and if you want that pig I'll give you a bargain." I can have him over here In ten minutes. "What's your lowest price?" "I ought to get ?12 for him; but, see ing he will fall Into kind and courteous hands, I'll make It ten." "Why, I ought to get a pig out in the country for $2 or $3r exclaimed Mr. Bowser. Man, are you Joking?" replied the other. "Don't you know that nlcs have gone up 400 per cent; that a farmer will put a common breed off on you and charge you $3 for bringing him In? He will be a tenderfoot niz. not used to the ways of a city, and It will take you three months to put a single pound or flesh, on him. Whatever you do, don't buy a tenderfoot pig. The first time he hears a little German band playing he may try to commit suicide. wouldn't sell this pig of niluo to everybody, no matter . what price was offered, but you seem to be a man with a heart In you. A pig wants talk' ing to now and then. He wants to be made to realize that he has at least one friend left In the world." Brought Pig Home. Mr. Bowser closed with the offer, and the pig was brought over and paid for. He was a long, lank pig. There were two knots In his tail and a gleam In his eye. If the man hadn't insisted that he was a thoroughbred Leghorn and If Mr. Bowser hadn't seen that he had bristles he might have passed for a greyhound. The animal made a dive for his bedroom as soon as placed In the pen, and Mr. Bowser went In to dinner with a warm glow stealing over him. Mrs. Bowser had nothing to say, and the subject of the pig was not brought up until they bad finished and sat down for the evening; then as Mr. Bowser was getting ready to lay down his orders as to the future welfare of his protege there came a long wild wall from the back yard to lift him out of his chair and cause him to ex claim: "By John! But what in thunder is that?" "Only that pig of yours," quietly an swered Mrs. Bowser. "Pig? Pig? , But what alia the pig?" The reply was another wail, ending in a sort of hyena Ish chuckle. "It's the blamed cats!" "It's your Leghorn pig." Mr. Bowser donned his hat and over coat and went out to the pen. He had emptied a pail of swill Into the trough, but none of it had been touched. .The pig had come out of the privacy of his bedroom and stood slanted up against the side of his pen, and he was grunt ing and barking and walling and chuckling. Mr. Bowser spoke kindly to him. No go Then he was cuffed on the ear and made a savage grab at the hand that did it and sent out such shrieks as must soon attract a crowd. Mr. Bowser picked, up a piece of board and menaced the Leghorn with it, aud the next moment he was knock ed flat on the earth, and the pig was out of the gate and streaking it down the alley. The one room porker had left the two room pen forever behind him. "Well?" queried Mrs. Bowser as Mr. Bowser came sulking in to sit down and pick up his paper. "Well, what?" he demanded. "I know nothing about pigs, Mrs. Bow-, ser, but I do know that you can catch the 10:10 train in the morning for your mother's, and you'd better ask the cook to help you pack your trunks!' M. QUAD. "Wot's de matter, Mame?" "Liz la putthV on airs 'cause her brudder was run over by a $30,000 auto." New York World. 1 . ! i i , - , ; , With the Kids. -. Mr. Labouehsrs's Whist Play, White Henry Labouchero was an at tache at Frankfort he Va once ttny lug whist against a very high Gorman functionary sitting on his loft Mr, Lahouchere led a small curd. Tho lead turned out so well that he won tho rest of tho tricks. Tho mlulster said "Well, Mr. I Jibouc here, you won the same by lending that card. But there was no eafthly reason, according to tho rules of the game, why you should liavo done no, You have therefore won the rubber by accident" Mr. ljimmeheiv fa id, "I Jtatl a very good rcam for leading that card." Tho minister n:ed what It was. "We will h.i e a bet," (-aid Mr. LnbouchcVc. "that my reaswu was n good one." The bet was .therefore made. "Now, Mr. -Ijtbouchcro, what was your reanouT' Ho replied, "I had seen your hand." -Henry DrummonuV Wolff's "Ram bllng liecollectloim." A Bsrrsl Trick. One Sunday morning, when every body had g;ne to church, a traveler undertook to show tho landlord how to draw three different sorts of wine from the same cask. Tho two went down Into the cellar and the stranger bored u hole In the barrel, on which he asked the landlord to place his thumb. He then bored a second hole, which mine host hud to stop with his other thumb. He had set to work on the third, wheu It apparently struck him that the landlord would not bo equal to the task of stopping that also, and he ran out of the cellar "to fetch a tap." lie never returned, and the Innkeeper hnd to wait by the side of his cask until the folks had come out of fchureh. The rogw had by that time decamped without pitying his bill -London Answers. TEETH Without FlatK, The Old Reliable CHICAGO PAINLESS DENTISTS Cor. Commercial and Eleventh St. ASTORIA, ORE. Phone 3901 Headquarter PORTLAND, ORE. Are equipped to do all kinds of Dental work at very lowest prices. Nervous people and those atfiicted with heart weakness may nave do fear of the dental chair. 22 K. crown I&G0 Bridge work, per tooth S-C0 Gold fillings 11X0 p SOver fillings ..SOctolLOQ Best rubber plate $800 Aluminum-line plate 310 to $15.00 These offices are modern through out We are able to do all work absolutely painless. Our success is due to uniform high grade work by gentlemanly operators having 10 to IS years- experience. Vegetable Vapor, patented and used only by us for painless extraction of teeth, 50c. A binding guarantee given with all work for 10 years. ExanuV nation and consultation FREE. Lady in attendance. Eighteen of fices in the United States. Cor. Commercial and Eleventh Srs., over Danziger store. PROPOSALS. OFFICE OF THE Ob structing Quartermaster, Fort Stevens, regon.j April 1, 1908. Sealed proposals;, in triplicate, will be received at this office until 2 oclock p. m., April 30, 1908, and then publicly opened, for the con struction of a cistern, for the stor age of rain water for -use in Art'y Barrack for 109 rhei, at Fort Stev ens Or. Plans can be seen, specifica tions obtained and full information furnished at this office. The U. S. reserves the right to reject any or all bids or any part thereof. Envelopes containing proposals should . be marked "Proposals for .Construc tion, addressed to the Constructing Quartermaster, Fort Stevens, Or. BIDS REQUESTED FOR STONE WORK AND GRADING. . - BIDS WILL BE RECEIVED UN til S P. M., April 30, 1908, at the office of the Water Commission, Asr toria, Oregon, for raising the walls' of Reservoir No. 1, two feet, grading the grounds, and building stone walls on west side, and north end, of same, as per plans and specifications on file in said office, at the City Hall. Right to reject any and all bids is reserved. By order of the. Water Commission, G. W. Lounsberry, Clerk. CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS HELP WANTED WANTED GOOD AND COMPE tent ntnn and woman on farm, who understand milking and separating; good wages and good house; no ob jection to children. . Inquire at this office. : ' ' v WANTED -SALESMEN' FOR A reliable boiler compound to travel in Oregon; good position for right man. Apply to Win. T. Cillctt, Svcn sen, ure. 1 i-H-qt SITUATION WANTED. WANTED BY A 'LADY WITH child, position as housekeeper. En quire at Jarkcr House. 4 23-3t FOR SALE. FOR SALE - THOROUGHBRED Wihte Spits pup. Enquire Astorian office. . 4-12-tf. FURNITURE OF 6-ROOl HOUSE for sale; privilege of renting house. Inquire O. F. Morton or 191 Seventh street. 4-ZZ-tf. FOR SALE FURNITURE FOR A 6-rooni house; and ihe house for rent; a snap. Enquire 77 Third St, cor. Bond. Phone Red 2313. 4-3-tf. FOR SALE-REAL ESTATE. FOR SALE-LOCKSLEY HALL Hotel, Seaside, Or.; this beautiful spot under the pines and overlooking the ocean is for sale; best money making property in the West; over 100 rooms: modern in every way. For particulars apply to Mrs. L. A. Carlisle on premises. FOR SALE -SMALL ROOMING house; partly furnished; must be sold at once, parties leaving town. Enquire 1S4 9th street 4-10-tf. FOR RENT. FOR RENT-TWO FURNISHED rooms for gentlemen. Captain Ferchan, 330 17th street i 'OR RENT Furnished rooms; pleasant location. 422 Irving, phone Red 2163. , 4-22-3t OR RENT NICELY FURNISH ed rooms by day, week or month. S25 Bond street 4 22-3t. FOR RENT Furnished housekeep ing rooms. 525 Bond St." 4-22-t. FURNITURE. JUST ARRIVED Gold Fish 25c and 35c Each Hildebrand & Gor Old Bee Hive Bldg. PLUMBERS. JlliSllI v PLUMBER BnaMffiPMPIBtliBSB Heating Contractor, Tinner -AND- 5heet Iron Worker , LL WORK GUARANTEED 425 Bond Street Do You Wear Shoes? We sell the kind, that wear longest and look the beat The Dr. A Reed , Cushion Shoe We handle a special line of I Loggers' Shoes Give us a trial. , S. A. GIMRE . GOOD SHOES. 543 Bond St, op. Ross, Higgins & Co. URIfiARY DISCHARGES BELIEVED IN 24 HOURS Each Can- ' ule bcarMIDY): the nameWVj Beware of cminttrfeiti ; ALL DBUUOIHT8 l 'iHIIIII I HOUSE MOVERS. FREDR1CKSON BROS.-W make ( a specialty of house moving, car penters, contractors, general jobbing; prompt attention to alt orders. Cor ner Tenth and Duane streets. PROFESSIONAL CARDS. ATTORNEYS-AT.LAW CHARLES II. ABERCROMBIE f , Attorney-at-Law City Attorney Offices: City Hall jOHN C. McCUE ' Atttmey-at-Law Deputy District Attorney ; , Page Building S'llte 4. HOWARD M. BROWNELL Attorney-at-Law Office with Mr. J. 'A. Eakln, at 420 Commercal St., Astoria. MASSAGE. DOCTORS PRESCRIBING MAS- sage, call Olga Landen, Finnish masseuse, Pythian bldg., Commercial street ' OSTEOPATHS. DR. RHODA C HICKS . Osteopath Office Mansell Bldg. I'hone Black 2061 573 Commercial St. Astoria, Ore. DENTISTS DR. VAUGHAN Dentist Pythian Building, Astoria, Oregon DR. W. C LOGAN Dentist Commercial St Shanahan Bldg BUSINESS DIRECTORY. RESTAURANTS. TOKIO RESTAURANT. . 351 bond Street. . , Oi-posite Ross, Higgins & Co. CoJee with Pie or Cake 10 Cts. FIRST-CLASS MEALS Regular Meats 13 Cts. and Up. U. 8. RESTAURANT. 434 Bond Street . Coffee with Pie or Cake, 10 Cts. , First-Class Meals, IS Cts. HOTELS. HOTEL OXFORD Sixth and Oak Strs., Portland, Ore. A strictly modern hotel in center of business' district; suites with or without' private baths, running hot and cold water in every room; plenty of free baths. Rates $1.00, $1.50 and $2.00. VICTOR BRANDT, Prop. WINES AND LIQUORS. Eagle Concert Hall (328 Astor Street) Rooms for rent by the day, week, or month. Best rates in town. P. A. PETERSON, Prop. FISH MARKET. 77 Ninth St., near Bond "Fresh and Salted Fish. Game and Poultry. Groceries, Produce and Fruit Imported and v Domestic Goods. P. Bakotitch & Feo, Proprs. Phone Red 2183 HOT OR COLD olden West Tea Just Right CLOSSET & DEVERS, PORTLAND, ORE. Me Fish net BOAT BUILDER. T, L. Driscoll BOATBUILDINO AND REPAIR. ING A SPECIALTY, 22nd and Exchange Strset UNDERTAKERS. J.A. UILHAUGU &CO., Undertaker mid Kmlmlnwra. KxporUMifcil I.utly ANMNtnut When PoHlred. Cull Promptly Attended Day or Night. Tutton ilri&r. IStliftixl DimnoHU AHTOKIA. OUK.C10N Phono Mulu Ulll TRANSPORTATION. The "KM line PASSENGERS Steamer Lurline Night Boat for Portland and Way Landings, Leaves Astoria dally except Sunday at 7 p. m. Leaves Portland Daily except Sunday t 1 a. m. Quirk Service Excellent MeaJa Good Bertha Landing Astoria Flavel Wharf. Landing Portland Foot Taylor St O. B. BLESSING, Agent Phone Main 2761. TRANSPORTATION. "tMPRIM" kln of Ui Atlaritlo LESS THAN FOUR DAYS AT SEA During the summer season, the Empresses sail from Quebec to Liver pool; fast and luxurious, hline hun dred miles in sheltered waters of the St Lawrence River and Gulf. Short ocean trip. Use this route and avoid " sea sickness. Summer sailing lists and rates now ready. Apply to any Ticket Agent, or James Finlayson, Agent, Astoria, Or. . MEDICAL. Unprecedented Suooesses of ' DR. C- GEE KO TBBGRIAT CHJWESS B0CT01 Who 1 known V fotMst States on account of nvivvuui ''ifi, No poison or drugs useu. He guran tee to cure catarrh, asthma, lung aad throat trouble, rheumatism, nervousness, stamadh, liver and kUney, jemal com plaints and all ohronlo dlneases. SUCCESSFUL HOME TREATMENT, If you eannot call write for symptom blank and circular, Inclosing 4 cent b stamps. THE C. GEE W0 MEDICINE CO. 1821 First St, Corner.MorHsoa, PORTLAND, OREGON. Please mention tb Astorian. 1 CONTRACTORS. J, BeBenoit &Son Contractors and Builders . Estimates given. Repairs a Specialty. Phone Red 2413. 893 Commercial St LAUNDRIES. ?Those Pleated Bosom Shirts The kind known by dressy men in the summer, are difficult articles to launder nicely. Unless you know just how to do It, the front pleats won't iron i down t smooth, and the shirt front will i look mussy. Our New Press Ironer irons them without rolling or stretching. Try it. TROY LAUNDRY, Temh and Duane. Phone Main 1991 FREIOHT tT.J r t -- fin ii irmiimrr V -nrf -1 . iT1" n'"