"FRIDAY, APRIL 24, 1908.
6
THE MORNING ASTOIil AN, ASTORIA, OHEG0N,
e
jHad Begun Saving Thousands
; When Calamity Happens.
A
PIG ESCAPES FROM ITS PEN
H U'an Unruly Beast Despils Owner',
I Plan to Rtar It With Kindness--Mrs.
, i, B. Told to Pek Up Trunk and Leave
r Home. " x
i' Copyright, IMS, by T. C. McClure.
The Bowser family had finished din
nor and appeared to bo In for a pleas
ant evening Mrs, Bowser was read
lng a book, Mr. Bowser had his even
tog paper and cigar, and the ent was
rolling over and over on the heart'
rug and thanking her stars that she
was not a wanderer upon the face of
the earth such a night as that. Fif
teen minutes had passed when Mr.
Bowser uttered an .ejaculation that di
V.::-'- ' everything.
, "V.::t Is It. dear?" he was asked.
lie rose up and took two or three
turns up and down the room before
answering. :".
"I Just sa w something in the paiw
to remind me. Mrs. Bowser, I don't
.want to be always finding fault with
you, but there Is a matter I wish to
apeak about this evening. I have de-
ii
MB. BOWS KB 8TCCK EIGHT TO IT.
laved it for months, hoping to see an
Improvement, but as there has been
none I am at last forced to speak.
"Well?"
"It Is about jour reckless waste
around the house."
-. "But there Is no reckless waste. 1
defy you to fiud a house in this city
where there is less waste of any kind."
"Don't dispute m"e, woman. I am
not the one to bring charges without
good foundation. Bight down In your
kitchen this evening is a garbage pail
almost full of apple cores, pieces of
bread, potato parings and other things,
, enough to last a poor family for sev
eral days."
"Oh, I see! And do want those
things made up in a hash for your
breakfast?"
, "Woman, don't turn to sarcasm to ex
cuse your extravagance. I don't want
those things made up In a hash, but It
Is a sin and a shame to waste them.
If we can't use them they should go
to the poor."
"The poor can have them and wel
come. Bring on your poor and offer
them potato peelings and see what
they will say to you."
"Then that proves my point that we
Bhould keep a pig to eat such things.
That's what the paper says. You
throw away enough every day to keep
a pig for a week. With a pig in the
pen nothing Is wasted. It costs noth
ing whatever to feed him, and at the
end of a few months we have 200
pounds of Al pork. We have spare
ribs, shoulders, hams and bacon. In
place of throwing away a hundred
dollars' worth of stuff we have a hun
dred dollars' worth of pork. We have
kept house twenty years. In that time
we have lost at least $5,000 worth of
pork."
"I deny it," she replied. "You can't
fatten a pig on table leavings, and you
ought to know it. You've had two or
three pigs since you kept house, and
how did they come out?"
"They would have come out all right
had you not gone out to the pen with a
clothes pole and kept them stirred up
and afraid In order to spite me. To
morrow this extravagance ceases. To
morrow I build a pigpen and get a pig.
I also give you notice that you will
keep your hands off that pig or things
will happen around here to make your
heart ache."
"Very well. Get your pig and I won't
even let the cook go out to the pen to
look at him."
"And If, by your order, she mixes
poison with the garbage and puts an
end to his career"
' Glared at Mr3. B.
And Mr. Bowser folded his arms aad
glared at Mrs. Bowser with sucli a
glare that the cat" softly crept iv.vlw
the piano and the cook !bwn:-:ta!:r, fcl
a shiver go up her 'bark -and. sr.!. t
herself that some rw was -'walking
over her grave. Instead p(' K-'n::; to
the office next morning. Mr. Bowser
got up to don an old suit of clothes an.l
hie him to a lumber yard. lie selected
what he wanted for the pen and paid
17.40 for it. There was no call for the
services of an architect. During the
previous night he had figured out just
now he wanted it He would build a
B
DWSER BUYS PO
two room pen-a parlor and a bedroom.
When his pig wanted privacy he would
finis bo assured of It
It was cold, stormy day, and tht
building of the pea was an all day Job.
Mr. Bowser stuck right to It, however,
and Just at dark he had the "lnstltu
tlou," finished and the bedroom filled
with clean straw. Mrs. Bowser sug
gested a feather bed and woolen blan
kets, but her words passed unheeded.
lie had figured on going out into the
country next day to buy his pig. but ns
he stood surveying the finished pen a
man caiuo through the alley and stop
ped to say: 1
, "Hello, neighbor! Been building a
pigpen?"
"As you see.".
"But Where's your pig?"
"I'll get him of some farmer tomor
row" -
"See here, neighbor," continued the
man after looking the pen over more
closely, "don't you think of buying a
pig of a farmer. He will cheat the
cyeteeth out of you. I live over on
Chestnut street Last fall I bought a :
pig; but as I didn't know anything
about building a pen, ho hasn't got
along as well as I hoped for. 1 didn't
suppose that a pig wanted any privacy,
and I didn't provide for a bedroom.
My wife Is doVn with rheumatism and
can't feed him, and if you want that
pig I'll give you a bargain." I can have
him over here In ten minutes.
"What's your lowest price?"
"I ought to get ?12 for him; but, see
ing he will fall Into kind and courteous
hands, I'll make It ten."
"Why, I ought to get a pig out in
the country for $2 or $3r exclaimed
Mr. Bowser.
Man, are you Joking?" replied the
other. "Don't you know that nlcs have
gone up 400 per cent; that a farmer
will put a common breed off on you
and charge you $3 for bringing him In?
He will be a tenderfoot niz. not used
to the ways of a city, and It will take
you three months to put a single pound
or flesh, on him. Whatever you do,
don't buy a tenderfoot pig. The first
time he hears a little German band
playing he may try to commit suicide.
wouldn't sell this pig of niluo to
everybody, no matter . what price was
offered, but you seem to be a man
with a heart In you. A pig wants talk'
ing to now and then. He wants to be
made to realize that he has at least
one friend left In the world."
Brought Pig Home.
Mr. Bowser closed with the offer,
and the pig was brought over and paid
for. He was a long, lank pig. There
were two knots In his tail and a gleam
In his eye. If the man hadn't insisted
that he was a thoroughbred Leghorn
and If Mr. Bowser hadn't seen that he
had bristles he might have passed for
a greyhound. The animal made a dive
for his bedroom as soon as placed In
the pen, and Mr. Bowser went In to
dinner with a warm glow stealing over
him. Mrs. Bowser had nothing to say,
and the subject of the pig was not
brought up until they bad finished and
sat down for the evening; then as Mr.
Bowser was getting ready to lay down
his orders as to the future welfare of
his protege there came a long wild
wall from the back yard to lift him
out of his chair and cause him to ex
claim: "By John! But what in thunder is
that?"
"Only that pig of yours," quietly an
swered Mrs. Bowser.
"Pig? Pig? , But what alia the pig?"
The reply was another wail, ending
in a sort of hyena Ish chuckle.
"It's the blamed cats!"
"It's your Leghorn pig."
Mr. Bowser donned his hat and over
coat and went out to the pen. He had
emptied a pail of swill Into the trough,
but none of it had been touched. .The
pig had come out of the privacy of his
bedroom and stood slanted up against
the side of his pen, and he was grunt
ing and barking and walling and
chuckling.
Mr. Bowser spoke kindly to him. No
go
Then he was cuffed on the ear and
made a savage grab at the hand that
did it and sent out such shrieks as
must soon attract a crowd.
Mr. Bowser picked, up a piece of
board and menaced the Leghorn with
it, aud the next moment he was knock
ed flat on the earth, and the pig was
out of the gate and streaking it down
the alley. The one room porker had left
the two room pen forever behind him.
"Well?" queried Mrs. Bowser as Mr.
Bowser came sulking in to sit down
and pick up his paper.
"Well, what?" he demanded. "I
know nothing about pigs, Mrs. Bow-,
ser, but I do know that you can
catch the 10:10 train in the morning
for your mother's, and you'd better
ask the cook to help you pack your
trunks!'
M. QUAD.
"Wot's de matter, Mame?"
"Liz la putthV on airs 'cause her
brudder was run over by a $30,000
auto." New York World. 1
. ! i i , - ,
; , With the Kids.
-. Mr. Labouehsrs's Whist Play,
White Henry Labouchero was an at
tache at Frankfort he Va once ttny
lug whist against a very high Gorman
functionary sitting on his loft Mr,
Lahouchere led a small curd. Tho lead
turned out so well that he won tho
rest of tho tricks. Tho mlulster said
"Well, Mr. I Jibouc here, you won the
same by lending that card. But there
was no eafthly reason, according to
tho rules of the game, why you should
liavo done no, You have therefore won
the rubber by accident"
Mr. ljimmeheiv fa id, "I Jtatl a very
good rcam for leading that card."
Tho minister n:ed what It was. "We
will h.i e a bet," (-aid Mr. LnbouchcVc.
"that my reaswu was n good one."
The bet was .therefore made.
"Now, Mr. -Ijtbouchcro, what was
your reanouT'
Ho replied, "I had seen your hand."
-Henry DrummonuV Wolff's "Ram
bllng liecollectloim."
A Bsrrsl Trick.
One Sunday morning, when every
body had g;ne to church, a traveler
undertook to show tho landlord how
to draw three different sorts of wine
from the same cask. Tho two went
down Into the cellar and the stranger
bored u hole In the barrel, on which
he asked the landlord to place his
thumb. He then bored a second hole,
which mine host hud to stop with his
other thumb. He had set to work on
the third, wheu It apparently struck
him that the landlord would not bo
equal to the task of stopping that also,
and he ran out of the cellar "to fetch
a tap." lie never returned, and the
Innkeeper hnd to wait by the side of
his cask until the folks had come out
of fchureh. The rogw had by that
time decamped without pitying his bill
-London Answers.
TEETH
Without FlatK,
The Old Reliable
CHICAGO
PAINLESS
DENTISTS
Cor. Commercial and Eleventh St.
ASTORIA, ORE.
Phone 3901
Headquarter
PORTLAND, ORE.
Are equipped to do all kinds of
Dental work at very lowest prices.
Nervous people and those atfiicted
with heart weakness may nave do
fear of the dental chair.
22 K. crown I&G0
Bridge work, per tooth S-C0
Gold fillings 11X0 p
SOver fillings ..SOctolLOQ
Best rubber plate $800
Aluminum-line plate 310 to $15.00
These offices are modern through
out We are able to do all work
absolutely painless. Our success is
due to uniform high grade work by
gentlemanly operators having 10
to IS years- experience. Vegetable
Vapor, patented and used only by
us for painless extraction of teeth,
50c. A binding guarantee given
with all work for 10 years. ExanuV
nation and consultation FREE.
Lady in attendance. Eighteen of
fices in the United States.
Cor. Commercial and Eleventh Srs.,
over Danziger store.
PROPOSALS.
OFFICE OF THE Ob
structing Quartermaster, Fort
Stevens, regon.j April 1, 1908.
Sealed proposals;, in triplicate,
will be received at this office until
2 oclock p. m., April 30, 1908, and
then publicly opened, for the con
struction of a cistern, for the stor
age of rain water for -use in Art'y
Barrack for 109 rhei, at Fort Stev
ens Or. Plans can be seen, specifica
tions obtained and full information
furnished at this office. The U. S.
reserves the right to reject any or all
bids or any part thereof. Envelopes
containing proposals should . be
marked "Proposals for .Construc
tion, addressed to the Constructing
Quartermaster, Fort Stevens, Or.
BIDS REQUESTED FOR STONE
WORK AND GRADING. . -
BIDS WILL BE RECEIVED UN
til S P. M., April 30, 1908, at the
office of the Water Commission, Asr
toria, Oregon, for raising the walls' of
Reservoir No. 1, two feet, grading the
grounds, and building stone walls on
west side, and north end, of same, as
per plans and specifications on file in
said office, at the City Hall. Right to
reject any and all bids is reserved.
By order of the. Water Commission,
G. W. Lounsberry, Clerk.
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS
HELP WANTED
WANTED GOOD AND COMPE
tent ntnn and woman on farm, who
understand milking and separating;
good wages and good house; no ob
jection to children. . Inquire at this
office. : ' ' v
WANTED -SALESMEN' FOR A
reliable boiler compound to travel
in Oregon; good position for right
man. Apply to Win. T. Cillctt, Svcn
sen, ure. 1 i-H-qt
SITUATION WANTED.
WANTED BY A 'LADY WITH
child, position as housekeeper. En
quire at Jarkcr House. 4 23-3t
FOR SALE.
FOR SALE - THOROUGHBRED
Wihte Spits pup. Enquire Astorian
office. . 4-12-tf.
FURNITURE OF 6-ROOl HOUSE
for sale; privilege of renting house.
Inquire O. F. Morton or 191 Seventh
street. 4-ZZ-tf.
FOR SALE FURNITURE FOR A
6-rooni house; and ihe house for
rent; a snap. Enquire 77 Third St,
cor. Bond. Phone Red 2313. 4-3-tf.
FOR SALE-REAL ESTATE.
FOR SALE-LOCKSLEY HALL
Hotel, Seaside, Or.; this beautiful
spot under the pines and overlooking
the ocean is for sale; best money
making property in the West; over
100 rooms: modern in every way.
For particulars apply to Mrs. L. A.
Carlisle on premises.
FOR SALE -SMALL ROOMING
house; partly furnished; must be
sold at once, parties leaving town.
Enquire 1S4 9th street 4-10-tf.
FOR RENT.
FOR RENT-TWO FURNISHED
rooms for gentlemen. Captain
Ferchan, 330 17th street
i
'OR RENT Furnished rooms;
pleasant location. 422 Irving, phone
Red 2163. , 4-22-3t
OR RENT NICELY FURNISH
ed rooms by day, week or month.
S25 Bond street 4 22-3t.
FOR RENT Furnished housekeep
ing rooms. 525 Bond St." 4-22-t.
FURNITURE.
JUST ARRIVED
Gold Fish
25c and 35c Each
Hildebrand & Gor
Old Bee Hive Bldg.
PLUMBERS.
JlliSllI
v PLUMBER
BnaMffiPMPIBtliBSB
Heating Contractor, Tinner
-AND-
5heet Iron Worker
, LL WORK GUARANTEED
425 Bond Street
Do You Wear
Shoes?
We sell the kind, that wear longest
and look the beat
The Dr. A Reed
, Cushion Shoe
We handle a special line of
I
Loggers' Shoes
Give us a trial. ,
S. A. GIMRE
. GOOD SHOES.
543 Bond St, op. Ross, Higgins & Co.
URIfiARY
DISCHARGES
BELIEVED IN
24 HOURS
Each Can- '
ule bcarMIDY):
the nameWVj
Beware of cminttrfeiti ;
ALL DBUUOIHT8
l 'iHIIIII I
HOUSE MOVERS.
FREDR1CKSON BROS.-W make
( a specialty of house moving, car
penters, contractors, general jobbing;
prompt attention to alt orders. Cor
ner Tenth and Duane streets.
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
ATTORNEYS-AT.LAW
CHARLES II. ABERCROMBIE f
, Attorney-at-Law
City Attorney Offices: City Hall
jOHN C. McCUE
' Atttmey-at-Law
Deputy District Attorney ; ,
Page Building S'llte 4.
HOWARD M. BROWNELL
Attorney-at-Law
Office with Mr. J. 'A. Eakln, at 420
Commercal St., Astoria.
MASSAGE.
DOCTORS PRESCRIBING MAS-
sage, call Olga Landen, Finnish
masseuse, Pythian bldg., Commercial
street '
OSTEOPATHS.
DR. RHODA C HICKS .
Osteopath
Office Mansell Bldg. I'hone Black 2061
573 Commercial St. Astoria, Ore.
DENTISTS
DR. VAUGHAN
Dentist
Pythian Building, Astoria, Oregon
DR. W. C LOGAN
Dentist
Commercial St Shanahan Bldg
BUSINESS DIRECTORY.
RESTAURANTS.
TOKIO RESTAURANT.
. 351 bond Street.
. , Oi-posite Ross, Higgins & Co.
CoJee with Pie or Cake 10 Cts.
FIRST-CLASS MEALS
Regular Meats 13 Cts. and Up.
U. 8. RESTAURANT.
434 Bond Street .
Coffee with Pie or Cake, 10 Cts.
, First-Class Meals, IS Cts.
HOTELS.
HOTEL OXFORD
Sixth and Oak Strs., Portland, Ore.
A strictly modern hotel in center
of business' district; suites with or
without' private baths, running hot
and cold water in every room; plenty
of free baths. Rates $1.00, $1.50 and
$2.00.
VICTOR BRANDT, Prop.
WINES AND LIQUORS.
Eagle Concert Hall
(328 Astor Street)
Rooms for rent by the day, week, or
month. Best rates in town.
P. A. PETERSON, Prop.
FISH MARKET.
77 Ninth St., near Bond
"Fresh and Salted Fish.
Game and Poultry.
Groceries, Produce and Fruit
Imported and v Domestic
Goods.
P. Bakotitch & Feo, Proprs.
Phone Red 2183
HOT OR COLD
olden West
Tea
Just Right
CLOSSET & DEVERS,
PORTLAND, ORE.
Me
Fish
net
BOAT BUILDER.
T, L. Driscoll
BOATBUILDINO AND REPAIR.
ING A SPECIALTY,
22nd and Exchange Strset
UNDERTAKERS.
J.A. UILHAUGU &CO.,
Undertaker mid Kmlmlnwra.
KxporUMifcil I.utly ANMNtnut
When PoHlred.
Cull Promptly Attended Day
or Night.
Tutton ilri&r. IStliftixl DimnoHU
AHTOKIA. OUK.C10N
Phono Mulu Ulll
TRANSPORTATION.
The "KM line
PASSENGERS
Steamer Lurline
Night Boat for Portland and
Way Landings,
Leaves Astoria dally except Sunday
at 7 p. m.
Leaves Portland Daily except Sunday
t 1 a. m.
Quirk Service Excellent MeaJa
Good Bertha
Landing Astoria Flavel Wharf.
Landing Portland Foot Taylor St
O. B. BLESSING, Agent
Phone Main 2761.
TRANSPORTATION.
"tMPRIM" kln of Ui Atlaritlo
LESS THAN FOUR DAYS AT SEA
During the summer season, the
Empresses sail from Quebec to Liver
pool; fast and luxurious, hline hun
dred miles in sheltered waters of the
St Lawrence River and Gulf. Short
ocean trip. Use this route and avoid "
sea sickness.
Summer sailing lists and rates now
ready.
Apply to any Ticket Agent, or
James Finlayson, Agent, Astoria, Or. .
MEDICAL.
Unprecedented
Suooesses of '
DR. C- GEE KO
TBBGRIAT
CHJWESS B0CT01
Who 1 known
V fotMst States on account of
nvivvuui ''ifi,
No poison or drugs useu. He guran
tee to cure catarrh, asthma, lung aad
throat trouble, rheumatism, nervousness,
stamadh, liver and kUney, jemal com
plaints and all ohronlo dlneases.
SUCCESSFUL HOME TREATMENT,
If you eannot call write for symptom
blank and circular, Inclosing 4 cent b
stamps.
THE C. GEE W0 MEDICINE CO.
1821 First St, Corner.MorHsoa,
PORTLAND, OREGON.
Please mention tb Astorian. 1
CONTRACTORS.
J, BeBenoit &Son
Contractors and Builders .
Estimates given. Repairs a Specialty.
Phone Red 2413. 893 Commercial St
LAUNDRIES.
?Those Pleated Bosom Shirts
The kind known by dressy men in
the summer, are difficult articles to
launder nicely. Unless you know just
how to do It, the front pleats won't
iron i down t smooth, and the shirt
front will i look mussy. Our New
Press Ironer irons them without
rolling or stretching. Try it.
TROY LAUNDRY,
Temh and Duane. Phone Main 1991
FREIOHT
tT.J r t --
fin ii irmiimrr V -nrf -1 . iT1" n'"