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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (March 20, 1908)
FRIDAY, MARCH 20, 1908. THE MORNING ASTOIUAN. ASTORIA, OREGON. 8 voeatln the offlce wltb bin, oix miter If tht marshal dlorenrdMl hi- well meant Invitation. , ' The marshal wu i young fellor. fend be hadn't never felt any 9i:W longtug to quit tbla world fur another tbat bo didn't know anything about, no bo suddenly decided tbat bo'd giro u; bio Job and go awoy to aomt plwe that wea mora conducive to brogiivlty, Accordln'ly, ho tendered hit resigna tion and without wnitln' (or it to be accepted lit out. V . . , , ', , "After that there were other mar1- ahnl, hut none of them arid the office Tor lung. As fuM hi tliny wor elect ed Joe Invited thorn to rnitlgti. and the showed respect fur hi wmIio. Borne of them were a tlttlo alow, though, and bo bod to come in and press bin Invl tntion by flrln' a few ahota Jutt does flnough about their bendi to make tbem nervous and loosen up the muscles of their lego. - . "Well, thine went along that way tor 'bout a year. Tbon one day a long gnngllu' feller with a mild eye, a aoft voice and a solemn looklu face hap pened Into town. Ills nam waa Ab Cow, and that's blin a-alttla' over there on the loft "Ab lie waa looklu' for a Job, and the town It waa lookln' for a marshal , jest tlieu, ao the two glta together and atrlkea up a deal Ab aaya be ain't never bevn a marahal, but 'Iowa be can manage It all rlht and the town la flbdln' It dlttlcult to get anybody to Vfake the Job wltb Joe Kern and ahore death baugln' over It, ao to apeak. "Well, Ab la aworn In and puta on the atar, and then here cornea a Invite to him from Joe, aokin' blra to roelgn. Ab lletened to Joo'a message, which was delivered by another cowboy, then abrtiga bla shoulders aud replies that he ; don't never accept invitations second band. ' ' "If Mr. Kern wanta me to conalder any propoaltloa be baa got to offer along that line,' he aaya, be will bave to come In and see me pnaeonally.' . "About throe days later Mr. Kern did coma In. Down at the aalooo be told them why bo bad come. It wao to convince the new mondial that be ought to reolgo and go away. "'And I bave brought my very boat rgumenta wltb rue,' be finished, 'ar guments that ain't never failed aa last resort "Ha ahore bad tbem, too-a Win cheater and a brace of alz shooters. And be knowed how to handle them arguments 'bout aa eloquently aa any nun that ever lived. "lie Irrigated bla ayotem at the bar, coolly lighted a cigar and then went out to look up the marshal and pay bla reapecta to him. And be didn't hare to go far, either, for be waa scarcely out of the oaloon when aouebody pointed out Ab atandlu' on a corner 'bout half block away. "'Are you shore that's blurf Joe asked. I'd rather not make any mix- take and kill an Innocent man If It can be helped.' ' " Tbat'a shore him," thoy answered "Joe smiled and raloed bio gun. " Til sorter wake him up,' be eold. 'I won't hurt bint at tint, but Jest call bla attention that I'm here.' "lie fired, ami the ball cut a lock of uair from ado neou. ad looked around sort of casual to aee what It cant and tho next Instant sent luck n answer to Joe'a shot. That anawer lowed a furrow along the aide of Joe'a 'tad. ;- "From tbat they went at It In dead meat Everybody else got out of the ty and give 'em a clear Held. There I'n't no backln' down and no runuln' J tho part of neither of 'cm. They It stood up there and pumped lead at A Into each other aa carelessly and cheerfully as you please. "After 'bout ten mlnntoa the tlrln' nsed, ' and then we all cautiously peerea out to aee bow It bad ended. Tbey waa both down on the ground helplesa, but atlll try la' to shoot "wnon we come to examine, we found 'em pretty badly riddled np, but wltb no wounds that promised to be fatal. We carried 'em off, and the doctors patched 'em up, and for a long time they remained quiet In bed. "Some of us reckoned the matter would end there, as tbey bad both ahorely had enough, but the older men thought different One of 'em said: " 'It won't ever end while they both live. Kern will never give up, and It's pretty evident Case won't either. When they get out, they'll bo at it again, and they'll keep at It till one of 'em la done for.' "And it proved that he waa portly rlflht The vory first timo they met after their recovery tbey took another round of shootln' at each other. "The result this time waa similar to what It bad been before. Both wore badly used np, bnt neither Injured fatally. - : . -v. "And so for two yean It continued. Every time Joe came up to town there was a shootln' bout Tbey fought to kill, too, and, both of 'em beln' good shots, we reckoned every time one of 'em would be shore to git It. But strange to any, neither of 'em ever did. They riddled each other all up, but they was never able to git in a finish In' shot - ;, r'- - .," H' " Til git Dim ylt though,' Joe de clared. Tm Jest bound to do It before I quit' '. .' , . "Ab made the same declaration, and we was alt shore one of 'em would be killed before the thing come to an end. Didn't seem like It could wind up any other way. "But It transpired tbat we was all entirely mistaken, as you can see for yourself. ) ' . ; , ' ( vuu uuj, uuut uiicv uiuui.uk uvi the last shootln' scrape and Jest when we waa exoectla' Joe to make another appearance, a covered wagon drove Into town and stopped la front of the mayor's office. The wagoa waa from the Triple X, and we couldn't under itand ttg beln' covered that way, ao we all gathered round to see what It tneant :' 1 : "In the bottom of the wagon waa some straw, and lyln stretched out on the straw wai Joe Kern. We see at a glance tbat Joe wai mighty alck, for he Jest lay there and moaned and didn't take no notice of nobody nor nothln', ' ;Vr r "While we was stondln' there gapln' like a poaeul of Idiots Ab come np and puahed his way through the crowd to the wagon. We lowed ahore as soon as Ab got bla eyes on Joe be'd plug him, but right there we wao mistaken tome more. "Ab looks at Joe a 'minute, then turns to the driver and says: '. " 'Wbat'a the matter of the cussf w 'Smallpox,' the driver replies. "In about balf a minute that Iden tical part of town became rather scarce of population. All of us except Ab, Joe and the driver happened to simultaneously remember that we bod more pressln' business other places, and we hurried off to tend to It "It seemed, as we learnod afterward, tbat Jos bad been exposed to the small pox somewhere and that the first thing tbey knowed be took down wltb It The ranch wa'n't no fit plaice for a alck man to stay, so they loaded bim up and sent him Into town, expectln' the mayor to take him In band anddosometbln' wltb "jy nam's axt mom sioomr' coin, tOO'M, XAVI TO DO IT lM him. But It happened that the mayor waa away from borne and wouldn't be back for a week. "Ab studied a little while. Then be said to the driver: " Take bim down to my boose. Til keep him and do the best I can for bim. Tbat seems to be all there is for If ' i "So the driver went on down to Ab's house, and bo and Ab took Joe from the wagon and carried bim In and put bim In Ab'a bed. Ab turned nuss and etayed right there wltb Joe, sleopln'.on a blanket on the floor. "Of course we was all surprised at Ab doln' that way, eeeln' that be and Joe were aucb bitter enemies, and we talked about It and wondered at it Joe couldn't understand It, either, so one day when be waa glttln' better be says to Ab: " There's one thing I want to know, Mr. Case. I've puzzled about It a good bit lyln' here, and I can't aeem to git the bang of It I would like to know why you took me In and nussed me this wsyr " 'I hope,' Ab replied, 'that you ain't got no notion that I done it for lover "'Hardly,' Joo answered. But that is what makes It harder to understand.' "Then I'll explain,' Ab said. 'First I wouldn't be brute enough to let a sick dog suffer for attention If I could help it and, second, I didn't want you to die a natural death and cheat me out of the pleasure of shootln' you.' "Joe'a face broke Into a siulle, and be reached out and took Ab's hand and pressed It warmly. "'Your worda are a great relief to mo,' he aald. 'I waa afraid you was goln' to place me under obligations not to kill you, and it worried me. But noW I understand, and It's all right As soon aa I get out of this we'll take up the fight and we'll keep it up till 1 git you.' "Till I git you, you mean,' Ab cor rected. . k ' "DoI? Well, you'll see.' "It went on till at last Joe was able to be up and around; then I'm blamed If Ab didn't turn in and take down with the smallpox. Then them two Jest reversed things. Ab took the bed, and Joe nussed bim and slept on the floor. Ab waa mighty bad off for awbllo, but finally be begun to git bet tor ": ,' " " "One day when Joe was slttln' by the bed Ab broke' a long silence by saying: " ' - "Til be out soon now, and then I reckon we'll be done with tbls cussed smallpox.' , "'Yep, I reckon so,' Joe replied. . ' '"'And It won't be long either,' Ab went on, 'till we con resume our little pastime of shootln' each other up.' "Joe turns around and looks Ab straight Id the eyes and saya: "'Vou may think, me a coward If; vou want to, but I say right now that , it there's auv more shootln' done you'll bava to do it I'm through for my part Before I'll shoot a man wbo took ins In and cared for me like yon did HI pull up stake! and leave the country.' "Ab looked surprised for a moment; then be stretched out bla band and Mid: ' '. ' " Tut 'er thar, pard. Them's my sen tlmenta exactly.' ?',.:.:',,-: "And from tbat day tbem two fel lers baa been Jest tike yon aee 'em now, quiet and peaceful aa lambs, the very best of friends and always bang In' around together," ''" A Well Mannered Bus. Riding In an omnibus up Itegent street recently, an old lady was ao noying the other passengers by ber re marks. The conductor remonstrated wltb her, saying, "Mn'am, remember you are In a public vehicle, and behave aa sucb."London Spectator. A BILL IN CONGRESS. The Method by Whloh Measure la Transformed Into Law. On a day set for the consideration of the bill the bouse goes Into committee of the whole. A chairman appointed by tho speaker presides.1 The bill Is read by sections and clauses after gen eral debate bas closed, and any mem ber may offer amendments. All voting In committee is by rising. The yeas and nays are not taken. ' When the bill bas been gone through and all amendments bave been voted upon, the committee rises and the chairman reports the bill back to the bouse, with the amendments. The bouse then votes upon them either sin gly or In gross and by yeas and nays if tbey are ordered to be taken. The bill Is then ordered to be en-gromied-tbat Is, written out In a fair band and Juat as It Is after being amended-and to be read a third time. Aa It Is usually already engrossed It Is at once read the third time-by title, as before and passed. The clerk takes the bill to the senate, by which body it la referred to the finance committee. In due time the committee, If it sees fit and not other wise, reports the bill back to the sen ate, wltb propositions to amend. In the senate the bill is considered "aa In committee of the whole," the amend ments of the finance committee and other volunteer amendments are ac cepted or rejected, they are again voted upon when the bill Is reported to the senate from the committee of the whole, and the bill to passed. As the two bouses are not agreed upon the bill, a committee of confer enoe, usually consisting of three mem bers of each branch of congress, Is ap pointed. The committee, when It has come to an agreement reports to each house, and the acceptance of the re port Is the final stage of the bill to Its passage. The measure is now "enrolledH-that Is, It Is printed In large, open type upon a parchment and Is taken first to the bouse, where It is signed by the speaker; then to the senate, where the vice president signs It and finally to the president, and makes the bill a taw. Congress Is notified that the bill has been approved, and the original copy of the act Is deposited In the depart ment of state. Edwin Tarrlsse In Har per's Weekly. ' Full of Remlnlooenee. At the different army stations to the west It is the practice for the officers on leaving their post for some distant station to sell off everything they do not care to keep. In connection wltb thle custom in "Reminiscences of a Sol dier's Wife" Mrs. Ellen BIddle tells an amusing story. There was a very estimable woman living at the garrison, a veritable Mrs. Malaprop. She told us of some Jew elry she had lost and among the things was a topai chain wltb a beau tiful "pendulum." The lady held an auction before she left after her husband's death, and when some silver plated knives were put up for sale she rose and In a sob bing voice said: "Oh, dear, no! I can not sell them I They bave been In dear John's mouth too often!" : Lasting. ' "Tour suggestion," said a depositor to the bank receiver, 'foffers very cold comfort It Is a bachelor's comfort that is to say, no comfort at all. " 'What' said a bachelor to a Bene dict 'only married a year and already so blue? - '"Ah, buf groaned the Benedict 1 never Imagined that a wife would prove ao expensive.' , , : . The bachelor patted the blue mar rled man on the back to a consolatory way. ;,. .', ' "'Tea he said, 'a wife is an expen sive article, that Is true. But then yon must remember that she lasts a very longtime.'" i ' Aristocracy. What subsists today by violence continues tomorrow by acquiescence and is perpetuated by tradition till at lost the hoary abuse shakos the gray hairs of antiquity at us and gives Itself out as the wisdom of ages. Thus the clearest dictates of reason are made to yield to a long succession of follies. And this la the foundation of the aristocratic aystem at the present day. Its stronghold, with all those not Im mediately Interested to It Is the rev erence of antlqulty.-Edward Everett f GOLD MADNESS. A Passion Per Literally Reveling In ; the Yellow Metal. A singular passion for literally revel ing In gold Is exhibited now and then by men who have suddenly become rich. Some years ago a London Jour nalist who hod speculated In railroad stocks netted 5,000 aa the result of a lucky venture. Drawing It In gold, the fortunate man repaired to a hotel, emp tied the bags of gold in the bed and went to simp literally in the sands of rnctolus. The man was so crazed by bis good fortune that be found iude scrllmble pleasure In reveling in a golden bath. " raKonlnl, the violinist when ho re ceived the proceeds of bis concerts be Insisted upon being paid In gold used to wash bis hands In sovereigns. A French novelist, Soullo, wrote a book entitled The Memoirs of the Devil." It took. The pulUlNhers paid bim for the first volume f 10,000 in gold. The author carried tho gold to bis bed room, poured It Into a footbath and en joyed for half an hour the excitement of mol ing his feet to feud fro In a bath of gold coins, smoking meanwhile the biggest of Havanas. A Boston merchant of great wealth, hollevlng certain symptoms Indicated that be would become Insane, consulted a specialist and, under his advice, be came an tomato of a private asylum. For twelve years there bis recreation was piling up gold coma and then knocking them over. At time be washed bis bands to gold eagles and half eagles. At the end of the long se clusion be returned to his counting room and In twelve months confirmed the thoroughness of bis recovery by amassing 1500,000-St Louis Republic. Hive You Sea The Wash? In Our Hardware Window The Foard & Stokes Hardware Co Incorporated Succeiooro to Fo-.rd & Stokes Co. J. Q. A. BOWLBY, President FRANK PATTON, CaonJcr O. L PETERSON, Vice-President ; J. W. GARNER, Assistant Caotyar Astoria Savings Bank Capital Paid in $100,000, Surplus and Undivided Profits, $80,000. Transacts a Genera! Banking Business t Interest Paid on Time Deposits FOUR PER CENT PER ANNUM. Eleventh and Dnane 8ta ' Astoria, Ortgoa. An Effective Stags Speech. Blgnor Grasso, the actor, wbo to looked upon as one of the glories of Italy, made an effective response to the, enthusiasm of an Argentine au dience after a performance. Advanc ing to the front of the stage, be drew from bis pocket a letter. This letter," be said, "Is from my mother to Catania. She Is eighty years of age," Then as his eyes moistened be added, "I cannot thank you as I would, but I feel that I should like to embrace every one of you as I embrace the page on which my mother has sign ed ber name." The enthusiasm of the audience was transformed to delirium. Paris Cor. London Mali Different Stars. 1 An "Auld Kirk" man was being shown through 'the new United Pres byterian church to a town to the west of Scotland. Gazing at the stars paint ed on the celling, be inquired their meaning. "Oh," was the reply, "yon know what the book says 'He made the stars alsof " "Weel," observed the man, "ye ken tho differ between your kirk and oorsr It's thls-ye, bae your stars on the ceuin', end we ve oors In the poolplt." ' i; The New Tenants. . "They seem to be having a duet in the next oult" , . , , "Yes; the man to practicing on the cornet while his wife talks." Cleve land Plain Dealer. Her 8wtct Friend. Miss Elder-Tbe Idea of bis pretend ing that tuy hair was gray! Miss rcp pery Ridiculous! Miss Elder Wasn't It though? Miss Peppery-Yes. Just as If youd buy gray bair.-Excbange. She Knew a Good Thing. , Mistress-Bridget. I hope the baker sent us fresh macaroons today. Bridget-Yes, ma'am. Tbey wus grand. They wus that good I ate then Ivery wan. New York Times. Chinese Ealing. It is probably true that the Chinese use a greater variety of meats than do the people of other countries, although but little laud is set apart for grazing or for tho cultivation of food for live stock. Kerf is not a common meat, principally because of the Buddhistic prejudice against killing any animal and particularly such a useful one. Since hogs - can be so "economically reared, pork is undoubtedly, after rice, the leading article of food. This is eaten in every, form, and one may say that every part of the animal Is util ized for food. Horseflesh, venison, an telope and bear ure often seen, but In passing through the markets pork, mut ton aud fowls ara the most conspicu ous. For fish the Chinese have an om- ulvorous appetite, nothing from the water, either fresh or salt, being re jected. A few kittens and puppies may be offered for sale In cages. Those which are Intended for tho table are fed upon grain and clean food, so that if the nature of this food be considered It Is far more wholesome than la the unclean hog. . To assert that cats and dogs form a staple article of food Is pure fiction. London Standard. For Diseases of the Skin. Nearly all diseases of the skin such as eczema, tetter, salt rheum and bar bers' itch, are characterized by an in tense itching and smarting, which often makes life a burden and dis turbs sleep and rest Quick relief may be had by applying Chamber lain'i Salve. It allays the itching and smarting almost instantly. Many casea have been cured by its use. For sale by Frank Hart and leading drug- a .sti PILES CURED IN 8 TO 14 DAYS. FAZO OINTMENT is guaranteed to cure any case of Itching, Blind, Bleeding or Protruding Pilei in 6 to 14 days or money refunded. 50c First National Bank of Astoria, Ore. ESTABLISHED 1886. . Capital 0100,000 John Fox, Pres. P. I Bishop, Sec. Astoria Savinga Bank, Trees. Nelaoa Troyer, Vice-Pres. and Supt ASTORIA IRON WORKS DESIGNERS AND MANUFACTURERS OF THE LATSST IMPROVED . . . . Canning Machinery, Marine Engines and Boilers COMPLETE CANNERY OUTFITS FURNISHED. Correspondence Solicited. . , . r Foot of Fourth Street Create an Appetite BY DRINKING BASS' ALE AND GUINESS STOUT WITH YOUR DINNER PUT UP IN NIPS. IT IS A SYSTEM BUILDER. RECOM MENDED BY ALL PHYSICIANS. PRICE, $1.50 PER DOZEN. AMERICAN IMPORTING CO. 689 Commercial Street the TRENTON J I First-Class Liquors and Cigars I 602 Commercial Street ' Corner Commercial and 14th. - ASTORIA, OREGON a M 1 1 t o i g Hf oat . THE GEM C. F. WISE. Prop. Choice Wines, Llquoro Merchants Lunch Pram and Cigars 11:30 a. m. to 1:309. a. Hot Lunch at All Eonra. 05 Cents Corner Eleventh and Commercial. ASTORIA - .... . CUGfe TO CLIMB THE ALPS. In an illustrated article in its April number of Popular Mechanics says: "An Italian engineer named Sig ner Caminada proposes to connect Genoa with Lake Constance and float barges over the Appe,nnines and the Alps by a ship canal project more stupendous and seemingly more im practicable than the wildest dreams of imaginative and unpractical brains. Yet Europs is impressed, and the scheme has won the support of the famous engineer, Senator Colunibo, president of the Polytechnic of Lom bardy. , "Signor Caminada's scheme is to construct what might be called a water ladder over the mountains with a long series of locks and canals. The canal is composed of two parallel tubes or channels, one of which is for barges running down the mountains and the' other for barges climbing over. In the locks the barges are raised and advanced by the power of incoming water, the vessels being kept straight by two sheaves runn ing on rails above and below. When the canal has to pass through a moun tain it runs in two tunnels inclined in opposite directions. The key of the scheme is the fact that the water de scends in both tubes, but crosses from one to the other alternatively, so that when a barge descends with the sink ing water in one tube, another barge is rising with the same water, which necessarily rises in the lower section of the other. Further water from the main reservoir carries the ascending barge to the top, and the descending boat enters the next tubular section. The canals will be constructed of masonary and closed with iron gates. The cost of such a scheme it esti mated at $300,000,000. "