FRIDAY, MARCH 20, 1908.
THE MORNING ASTOIUAN. ASTORIA, OREGON.
8
voeatln the offlce wltb bin, oix
miter If tht marshal dlorenrdMl hi-
well meant Invitation. ,
' The marshal wu i young fellor.
fend be hadn't never felt any 9i:W
longtug to quit tbla world fur another
tbat bo didn't know anything about, no
bo suddenly decided tbat bo'd giro u;
bio Job and go awoy to aomt plwe
that wea mora conducive to brogiivlty,
Accordln'ly, ho tendered hit resigna
tion and without wnitln' (or it to be
accepted lit out. V . . , , ',
, "After that there were other mar1-
ahnl, hut none of them arid the office
Tor lung. As fuM hi tliny wor elect
ed Joe Invited thorn to rnitlgti. and the
showed respect fur hi wmIio. Borne
of them were a tlttlo alow, though, and
bo bod to come in and press bin Invl
tntion by flrln' a few ahota Jutt does
flnough about their bendi to make tbem
nervous and loosen up the muscles of
their lego. - .
"Well, thine went along that way
tor 'bout a year. Tbon one day a long
gnngllu' feller with a mild eye, a aoft
voice and a solemn looklu face hap
pened Into town. Ills nam waa Ab
Cow, and that's blin a-alttla' over
there on the loft
"Ab lie waa looklu' for a Job, and
the town It waa lookln' for a marshal
, jest tlieu, ao the two glta together and
atrlkea up a deal Ab aaya be ain't
never bevn a marahal, but 'Iowa be can
manage It all rlht and the town la
flbdln' It dlttlcult to get anybody to
Vfake the Job wltb Joe Kern and ahore
death baugln' over It, ao to apeak.
"Well, Ab la aworn In and puta on the
atar, and then here cornea a Invite to
him from Joe, aokin' blra to roelgn. Ab
lletened to Joo'a message, which was
delivered by another cowboy, then
abrtiga bla shoulders aud replies that he
; don't never accept invitations second
band. '
' "If Mr. Kern wanta me to conalder
any propoaltloa be baa got to offer
along that line,' he aaya, be will bave
to come In and see me pnaeonally.'
. "About throe days later Mr. Kern
did coma In. Down at the aalooo be
told them why bo bad come. It wao
to convince the new mondial that be
ought to reolgo and go away.
"'And I bave brought my very boat
rgumenta wltb rue,' be finished, 'ar
guments that ain't never failed aa
last resort
"Ha ahore bad tbem, too-a Win
cheater and a brace of alz shooters.
And be knowed how to handle them
arguments 'bout aa eloquently aa any
nun that ever lived.
"lie Irrigated bla ayotem at the bar,
coolly lighted a cigar and then went
out to look up the marshal and pay bla
reapecta to him. And be didn't hare to
go far, either, for be waa scarcely out
of the oaloon when aouebody pointed
out Ab atandlu' on a corner 'bout half
block away.
"'Are you shore that's blurf Joe
asked. I'd rather not make any mix-
take and kill an Innocent man If It can
be helped.' '
" Tbat'a shore him," thoy answered
"Joe smiled and raloed bio gun.
" Til sorter wake him up,' be eold.
'I won't hurt bint at tint, but Jest call
bla attention that I'm here.'
"lie fired, ami the ball cut a lock of
uair from ado neou. ad looked
around sort of casual to aee what It
cant and tho next Instant sent luck
n answer to Joe'a shot. That anawer
lowed a furrow along the aide of Joe'a
'tad. ;-
"From tbat they went at It In dead
meat Everybody else got out of the
ty and give 'em a clear Held. There
I'n't no backln' down and no runuln'
J tho part of neither of 'cm. They
It stood up there and pumped lead at
A Into each other aa carelessly and
cheerfully as you please.
"After 'bout ten mlnntoa the tlrln'
nsed, ' and then we all cautiously
peerea out to aee bow It bad ended.
Tbey waa both down on the ground
helplesa, but atlll try la' to shoot
"wnon we come to examine, we
found 'em pretty badly riddled np, but
wltb no wounds that promised to be
fatal. We carried 'em off, and the
doctors patched 'em up, and for a long
time they remained quiet In bed.
"Some of us reckoned the matter
would end there, as tbey bad both
ahorely had enough, but the older men
thought different One of 'em said:
" 'It won't ever end while they both
live. Kern will never give up, and It's
pretty evident Case won't either. When
they get out, they'll bo at it again, and
they'll keep at It till one of 'em la done
for.'
"And it proved that he waa portly
rlflht The vory first timo they met
after their recovery tbey took another
round of shootln' at each other.
"The result this time waa similar to
what It bad been before. Both wore
badly used np, bnt neither Injured
fatally. - : . -v.
"And so for two yean It continued.
Every time Joe came up to town there
was a shootln' bout Tbey fought to
kill, too, and, both of 'em beln' good
shots, we reckoned every time one of
'em would be shore to git It. But
strange to any, neither of 'em ever did.
They riddled each other all up, but
they was never able to git in a finish
In' shot - ;, r'- - .," H'
" Til git Dim ylt though,' Joe de
clared. Tm Jest bound to do It before
I quit' '. .' , .
"Ab made the same declaration, and
we was alt shore one of 'em would be
killed before the thing come to an end.
Didn't seem like It could wind up any
other way.
"But It transpired tbat we was all
entirely mistaken, as you can see for
yourself. ) ' . ; , ' (
vuu uuj, uuut uiicv uiuui.uk uvi
the last shootln' scrape and Jest when
we waa exoectla' Joe to make another
appearance, a covered wagon drove
Into town and stopped la front of the
mayor's office. The wagoa waa from
the Triple X, and we couldn't under
itand ttg beln' covered that way, ao
we all gathered round to see what It
tneant :' 1 :
"In the bottom of the wagon waa
some straw, and lyln stretched out on
the straw wai Joe Kern. We see at a
glance tbat Joe wai mighty alck, for
he Jest lay there and moaned and
didn't take no notice of nobody nor
nothln', ' ;Vr r
"While we was stondln' there gapln'
like a poaeul of Idiots Ab come np and
puahed his way through the crowd to
the wagon. We lowed ahore as soon
as Ab got bla eyes on Joe be'd plug
him, but right there we wao mistaken
tome more.
"Ab looks at Joe a 'minute, then
turns to the driver and says: '.
" 'Wbat'a the matter of the cussf
w 'Smallpox,' the driver replies.
"In about balf a minute that Iden
tical part of town became rather
scarce of population. All of us except
Ab, Joe and the driver happened to
simultaneously remember that we bod
more pressln' business other places,
and we hurried off to tend to It
"It seemed, as we learnod afterward,
tbat Jos bad been exposed to the small
pox somewhere and that the first thing
tbey knowed be took down wltb It The
ranch wa'n't no fit plaice for a alck man
to stay, so they loaded bim up and sent
him Into town, expectln' the mayor to
take him In band anddosometbln' wltb
"jy nam's axt mom sioomr' coin,
tOO'M, XAVI TO DO IT lM
him. But It happened that the mayor
waa away from borne and wouldn't be
back for a week.
"Ab studied a little while. Then be
said to the driver:
" Take bim down to my boose. Til
keep him and do the best I can for
bim. Tbat seems to be all there is for
If ' i
"So the driver went on down to Ab's
house, and bo and Ab took Joe from
the wagon and carried bim In and put
bim In Ab'a bed. Ab turned nuss and
etayed right there wltb Joe, sleopln'.on
a blanket on the floor.
"Of course we was all surprised at
Ab doln' that way, eeeln' that be and
Joe were aucb bitter enemies, and we
talked about It and wondered at it
Joe couldn't understand It, either, so
one day when be waa glttln' better be
says to Ab:
" There's one thing I want to know,
Mr. Case. I've puzzled about It a good
bit lyln' here, and I can't aeem to git
the bang of It I would like to know
why you took me In and nussed me
this wsyr
" 'I hope,' Ab replied, 'that you ain't
got no notion that I done it for lover
"'Hardly,' Joo answered. But that
is what makes It harder to understand.'
"Then I'll explain,' Ab said. 'First
I wouldn't be brute enough to let a
sick dog suffer for attention If I could
help it and, second, I didn't want you
to die a natural death and cheat me out
of the pleasure of shootln' you.'
"Joe'a face broke Into a siulle, and be
reached out and took Ab's hand and
pressed It warmly.
"'Your worda are a great relief to
mo,' he aald. 'I waa afraid you was
goln' to place me under obligations not
to kill you, and it worried me. But
noW I understand, and It's all right
As soon aa I get out of this we'll take
up the fight and we'll keep it up till 1
git you.'
"Till I git you, you mean,' Ab cor
rected. . k '
"DoI? Well, you'll see.'
"It went on till at last Joe was able
to be up and around; then I'm blamed
If Ab didn't turn in and take down
with the smallpox. Then them two
Jest reversed things. Ab took the bed,
and Joe nussed bim and slept on the
floor. Ab waa mighty bad off for
awbllo, but finally be begun to git bet
tor ": ,' " "
"One day when Joe was slttln' by
the bed Ab broke' a long silence by
saying: " ' -
"Til be out soon now, and then I
reckon we'll be done with tbls cussed
smallpox.'
, "'Yep, I reckon so,' Joe replied. .
' '"'And It won't be long either,' Ab
went on, 'till we con resume our little
pastime of shootln' each other up.'
"Joe turns around and looks Ab
straight Id the eyes and saya:
"'Vou may think, me a coward If;
vou want to, but I say right now that ,
it there's auv more shootln' done you'll
bava to do it I'm through for my part
Before I'll shoot a man wbo took ins
In and cared for me like yon did HI
pull up stake! and leave the country.'
"Ab looked surprised for a moment;
then be stretched out bla band and
Mid: ' '. '
" Tut 'er thar, pard. Them's my sen
tlmenta exactly.' ?',.:.:',,-:
"And from tbat day tbem two fel
lers baa been Jest tike yon aee 'em
now, quiet and peaceful aa lambs, the
very best of friends and always bang
In' around together,"
''" A Well Mannered Bus.
Riding In an omnibus up Itegent
street recently, an old lady was ao
noying the other passengers by ber re
marks. The conductor remonstrated
wltb her, saying, "Mn'am, remember
you are In a public vehicle, and behave
aa sucb."London Spectator.
A BILL IN CONGRESS.
The Method by Whloh Measure la
Transformed Into Law.
On a day set for the consideration of
the bill the bouse goes Into committee
of the whole. A chairman appointed
by tho speaker presides.1 The bill Is
read by sections and clauses after gen
eral debate bas closed, and any mem
ber may offer amendments. All voting
In committee is by rising. The yeas
and nays are not taken. '
When the bill bas been gone through
and all amendments bave been voted
upon, the committee rises and the
chairman reports the bill back to the
bouse, with the amendments. The
bouse then votes upon them either sin
gly or In gross and by yeas and nays
if tbey are ordered to be taken.
The bill Is then ordered to be en-gromied-tbat
Is, written out In a fair
band and Juat as It Is after being
amended-and to be read a third time.
Aa It Is usually already engrossed It Is
at once read the third time-by title, as
before and passed.
The clerk takes the bill to the senate,
by which body it la referred to the
finance committee. In due time the
committee, If it sees fit and not other
wise, reports the bill back to the sen
ate, wltb propositions to amend. In
the senate the bill is considered "aa In
committee of the whole," the amend
ments of the finance committee and
other volunteer amendments are ac
cepted or rejected, they are again
voted upon when the bill Is reported
to the senate from the committee of
the whole, and the bill to passed.
As the two bouses are not agreed
upon the bill, a committee of confer
enoe, usually consisting of three mem
bers of each branch of congress, Is ap
pointed. The committee, when It has
come to an agreement reports to each
house, and the acceptance of the re
port Is the final stage of the bill to Its
passage.
The measure is now "enrolledH-that
Is, It Is printed In large, open type
upon a parchment and Is taken first to
the bouse, where It is signed by the
speaker; then to the senate, where the
vice president signs It and finally to
the president, and makes the bill a
taw.
Congress Is notified that the bill has
been approved, and the original copy
of the act Is deposited In the depart
ment of state. Edwin Tarrlsse In Har
per's Weekly.
' Full of Remlnlooenee.
At the different army stations to the
west It is the practice for the officers
on leaving their post for some distant
station to sell off everything they do
not care to keep. In connection wltb
thle custom in "Reminiscences of a Sol
dier's Wife" Mrs. Ellen BIddle tells an
amusing story.
There was a very estimable woman
living at the garrison, a veritable Mrs.
Malaprop. She told us of some Jew
elry she had lost and among the
things was a topai chain wltb a beau
tiful "pendulum."
The lady held an auction before she
left after her husband's death, and
when some silver plated knives were
put up for sale she rose and In a sob
bing voice said: "Oh, dear, no! I can
not sell them I They bave been In dear
John's mouth too often!"
: Lasting. '
"Tour suggestion," said a depositor
to the bank receiver, 'foffers very cold
comfort It Is a bachelor's comfort
that is to say, no comfort at all.
" 'What' said a bachelor to a Bene
dict 'only married a year and already
so blue? -
'"Ah, buf groaned the Benedict 1
never Imagined that a wife would
prove ao expensive.' , , : .
The bachelor patted the blue mar
rled man on the back to a consolatory
way. ;,. .', '
"'Tea he said, 'a wife is an expen
sive article, that Is true. But then
yon must remember that she lasts a
very longtime.'" i '
Aristocracy.
What subsists today by violence
continues tomorrow by acquiescence
and is perpetuated by tradition till at
lost the hoary abuse shakos the gray
hairs of antiquity at us and gives Itself
out as the wisdom of ages. Thus the
clearest dictates of reason are made
to yield to a long succession of follies.
And this la the foundation of the
aristocratic aystem at the present day.
Its stronghold, with all those not Im
mediately Interested to It Is the rev
erence of antlqulty.-Edward Everett
f GOLD MADNESS.
A Passion Per Literally Reveling In
; the Yellow Metal.
A singular passion for literally revel
ing In gold Is exhibited now and then
by men who have suddenly become
rich. Some years ago a London Jour
nalist who hod speculated In railroad
stocks netted 5,000 aa the result of a
lucky venture. Drawing It In gold, the
fortunate man repaired to a hotel, emp
tied the bags of gold in the bed and
went to simp literally in the sands of
rnctolus. The man was so crazed by
bis good fortune that be found iude
scrllmble pleasure In reveling in a
golden bath. "
raKonlnl, the violinist when ho re
ceived the proceeds of bis concerts be
Insisted upon being paid In gold used
to wash bis hands In sovereigns.
A French novelist, Soullo, wrote a
book entitled The Memoirs of the
Devil." It took. The pulUlNhers paid
bim for the first volume f 10,000 in gold.
The author carried tho gold to bis bed
room, poured It Into a footbath and en
joyed for half an hour the excitement
of mol ing his feet to feud fro In a bath
of gold coins, smoking meanwhile the
biggest of Havanas.
A Boston merchant of great wealth,
hollevlng certain symptoms Indicated
that be would become Insane, consulted
a specialist and, under his advice, be
came an tomato of a private asylum.
For twelve years there bis recreation
was piling up gold coma and then
knocking them over. At time be
washed bis bands to gold eagles and
half eagles. At the end of the long se
clusion be returned to his counting
room and In twelve months confirmed
the thoroughness of bis recovery by
amassing 1500,000-St Louis Republic.
Hive You Sea
The Wash?
In Our Hardware Window
The Foard & Stokes Hardware Co
Incorporated
Succeiooro to Fo-.rd & Stokes Co.
J. Q. A. BOWLBY, President FRANK PATTON, CaonJcr
O. L PETERSON, Vice-President ; J. W. GARNER, Assistant Caotyar
Astoria Savings Bank
Capital Paid in $100,000, Surplus and Undivided Profits, $80,000.
Transacts a Genera! Banking Business t Interest Paid on Time Deposits
FOUR PER CENT PER ANNUM.
Eleventh and Dnane 8ta ' Astoria, Ortgoa.
An Effective Stags Speech.
Blgnor Grasso, the actor, wbo to
looked upon as one of the glories of
Italy, made an effective response to
the, enthusiasm of an Argentine au
dience after a performance. Advanc
ing to the front of the stage, be drew
from bis pocket a letter.
This letter," be said, "Is from my
mother to Catania. She Is eighty years
of age," Then as his eyes moistened
be added, "I cannot thank you as I
would, but I feel that I should like to
embrace every one of you as I embrace
the page on which my mother has sign
ed ber name." The enthusiasm of the
audience was transformed to delirium.
Paris Cor. London Mali
Different Stars. 1
An "Auld Kirk" man was being
shown through 'the new United Pres
byterian church to a town to the west
of Scotland. Gazing at the stars paint
ed on the celling, be inquired their
meaning.
"Oh," was the reply, "yon know
what the book says 'He made the
stars alsof "
"Weel," observed the man, "ye ken
tho differ between your kirk and oorsr
It's thls-ye, bae your stars on the
ceuin', end we ve oors In the poolplt."
' i; The New Tenants.
. "They seem to be having a duet in
the next oult" , . , ,
"Yes; the man to practicing on the
cornet while his wife talks." Cleve
land Plain Dealer.
Her 8wtct Friend.
Miss Elder-Tbe Idea of bis pretend
ing that tuy hair was gray! Miss rcp
pery Ridiculous! Miss Elder Wasn't
It though? Miss Peppery-Yes. Just
as If youd buy gray bair.-Excbange.
She Knew a Good Thing. ,
Mistress-Bridget. I hope the baker
sent us fresh macaroons today. Bridget-Yes,
ma'am. Tbey wus grand.
They wus that good I ate then Ivery
wan. New York Times.
Chinese Ealing.
It is probably true that the Chinese
use a greater variety of meats than do
the people of other countries, although
but little laud is set apart for grazing
or for tho cultivation of food for live
stock. Kerf is not a common meat,
principally because of the Buddhistic
prejudice against killing any animal
and particularly such a useful one.
Since hogs - can be so "economically
reared, pork is undoubtedly, after rice,
the leading article of food. This is
eaten in every, form, and one may say
that every part of the animal Is util
ized for food. Horseflesh, venison, an
telope and bear ure often seen, but In
passing through the markets pork, mut
ton aud fowls ara the most conspicu
ous. For fish the Chinese have an om-
ulvorous appetite, nothing from the
water, either fresh or salt, being re
jected. A few kittens and puppies
may be offered for sale In cages. Those
which are Intended for tho table are
fed upon grain and clean food, so that
if the nature of this food be considered
It Is far more wholesome than la the
unclean hog. . To assert that cats and
dogs form a staple article of food Is
pure fiction. London Standard.
For Diseases of the Skin.
Nearly all diseases of the skin such
as eczema, tetter, salt rheum and bar
bers' itch, are characterized by an in
tense itching and smarting, which
often makes life a burden and dis
turbs sleep and rest Quick relief
may be had by applying Chamber
lain'i Salve. It allays the itching and
smarting almost instantly. Many
casea have been cured by its use. For
sale by Frank Hart and leading drug-
a .sti
PILES CURED IN 8 TO 14 DAYS.
FAZO OINTMENT is guaranteed
to cure any case of Itching, Blind,
Bleeding or Protruding Pilei in 6 to
14 days or money refunded. 50c
First National Bank of Astoria, Ore.
ESTABLISHED 1886. .
Capital 0100,000
John Fox, Pres. P. I Bishop, Sec. Astoria Savinga Bank, Trees.
Nelaoa Troyer, Vice-Pres. and Supt
ASTORIA IRON WORKS
DESIGNERS AND MANUFACTURERS
OF THE LATSST IMPROVED . . . .
Canning Machinery, Marine Engines and Boilers
COMPLETE CANNERY OUTFITS FURNISHED.
Correspondence Solicited. . , . r Foot of Fourth Street
Create an Appetite
BY DRINKING BASS' ALE AND
GUINESS STOUT WITH YOUR
DINNER PUT UP IN NIPS. IT
IS A SYSTEM BUILDER. RECOM
MENDED BY ALL PHYSICIANS.
PRICE, $1.50 PER DOZEN.
AMERICAN IMPORTING CO.
689 Commercial Street
the TRENTON J
I First-Class Liquors and Cigars I
602 Commercial Street '
Corner Commercial and 14th. - ASTORIA, OREGON
a M 1 1 t o i g Hf oat
. THE GEM
C. F. WISE. Prop.
Choice Wines, Llquoro Merchants Lunch Pram
and Cigars 11:30 a. m. to 1:309. a.
Hot Lunch at All Eonra. 05 Cents
Corner Eleventh and Commercial.
ASTORIA - .... . CUGfe
TO CLIMB THE ALPS.
In an illustrated article in its April
number of Popular Mechanics says:
"An Italian engineer named Sig
ner Caminada proposes to connect
Genoa with Lake Constance and float
barges over the Appe,nnines and the
Alps by a ship canal project more
stupendous and seemingly more im
practicable than the wildest dreams
of imaginative and unpractical brains.
Yet Europs is impressed, and the
scheme has won the support of the
famous engineer, Senator Colunibo,
president of the Polytechnic of Lom
bardy. ,
"Signor Caminada's scheme is to
construct what might be called a
water ladder over the mountains with
a long series of locks and canals. The
canal is composed of two parallel
tubes or channels, one of which is for
barges running down the mountains
and the' other for barges climbing
over. In the locks the barges are
raised and advanced by the power of
incoming water, the vessels being
kept straight by two sheaves runn
ing on rails above and below. When
the canal has to pass through a moun
tain it runs in two tunnels inclined in
opposite directions. The key of the
scheme is the fact that the water de
scends in both tubes, but crosses from
one to the other alternatively, so that
when a barge descends with the sink
ing water in one tube, another barge
is rising with the same water, which
necessarily rises in the lower section
of the other. Further water from the
main reservoir carries the ascending
barge to the top, and the descending
boat enters the next tubular section.
The canals will be constructed of
masonary and closed with iron gates.
The cost of such a scheme it esti
mated at $300,000,000. "