The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930, February 27, 1908, Image 3

Historic Oregon Newspapers

The morning Astorian., February 27, 1908, Page 3, Image 3

Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR

About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 27, 1908)

Prev Page of 8 Next Prev Issue Next Text PDF JP2 (3.3 MB) Clip/Print Image

Return to Top

Prev Page of 8 Next Prev Issue Next

Newspaper Page TextTHURSDAY, FEBRUARY 21, mi J Episode. THE MORNING ASTOR IAN. ASTORIA, OREGON. 3 9y Thomat 9. Monterl, Coprrtsht, WOT, by Thomat B. Mont-fort .....,....,.. ,! EE them two oia plug ovci therer ttio landlord of tin Maverick hotel asked, polntlni , serosa tb itreot Tb grocery drummer, Who bad been caught ovei Bandar In Uio little Kansas cow town looked op flint taw two grlMlod, gray old wan titling peacefully aide by alilr oo a dry goods box In the ahade of ti building. ! mA mild mid quiet aa pair of llttl. Innocent Inmbe," tbe landlord added. with k chuckle, "and dwellln' togothm jest like they waa own twin brothers! Toe grocery drummer yawned ami took up a paper and begau to road Tot old men did not Intoreet blin In tbe taut It waa do uncommon thing In bla experience to see a couple of old fellows looting on a Tillage etreet "But titat't Jest the way they alwnyi are," tbe landlord went on. "You hnnl I ! a m whnn thaw ain't tiv Rvtber. Wherever one goes tbe other tmb, man wniioTer out aoe mo oinoi does. Ever atnce feller come along here and put ua on to It we been callln' 'am Damon ami Pythles. You're beard tell of tbeui cbapa, 1 reckon J Tbe drummer nodded. "Wall, these two old cuba la jeet llki that eo far aa their frlendahlp goos aund by each other through thick and thin, and either of 'em would fight to the laat breath for tbe other. Ami quiet and peacrablol You would natu rally think they'd been raised op In a (Sunday achool and badn't never beard tU of nothln' but tht Bible all their lives." Tbe drummer made oo reply, and a long alleuce followed. At last, how- over, toe landlord emitted a tort chuckle and, pointing ncroaa the atreet, aid: You wouldn't over guess, now, a-tookln' at them aottln' there that way, that they need to be two of tbe k ;tougbt cusses that ever run the I 'rang and that for two years they jtrled their very beat to kilt each oth J fer. Now, would your 1 "Hardly," the drummer answered. ' I "Tl It'a inn an I !., nni.1. nt ..m VM W( mr VS V W VIM Ma got a pound of lead In him now hat the other put there, and aa for carswell, I reckon tbey'vt branded Men other up aiiout aa complete aa hey could without pottln' tbe scare on double." Tbe drummer began to abow Internet. h nirflftilar. v J "Well, It'a like this," tbe landlord ! rftffln 'tfla Knrn that's tha nna Ail tha right there he used to be a cowboy and worked on the Triple X ranch, 'bout twenty niilea south of town. Anil jhe was ahore a holy terror. There wan ? lots of mighty tough cowboya round I here In them daya, but tbe toughest fW 'em wn aa mild and harmless am tables compared with Joe. Then? little tcrsppln' and abootln' wa'n't much more than Runday achool work when fooked at alongside of what he done. "Among the eccentric notlona Joe got Into hit bead waa one to tbe effect TS1 BALL OCT A LOOK OP HAIB FBOM , ABs BJtlO. bat this town didn't need no marshal and shouldn't have pone. Accordln'ly, la aoon aa that Idea hit him be Bent In word to tbo marshal lnvltln' him to resign or move away and aaytn' that t he would be up In few daya and would be under the painful necessity of vacatln' , the office with bla tlx thootor If the marshal disregarded bis well meant Invitation. "Tbe marshal was a young foller, nnd he hadn't never felt any special longing to quit this world for another that be didn't know anything about, so he auddenly docldod that he'd give up ills Job and go away to some place '. Jhnt was more conducive to longevity. XV : - Accordln'ly, he tendered his resigna tion end without wattln' for Ittebe s oeptsd lit out After that than were other tear- aha Is, bat none of tbam heia tut offlce very long. At fast aa they wars elect- ed Joe Invited thetn to resign, and they showed respect fdr bla wishes,1 Some of them wore a little slow, though, and he bad to come In and prota bla Invi tation by flrln' a few shots Just doss enough about their beads to make them nervous and loosen up the muscles of their legs, : . "Well, things went along that way for 'bout a year. Then one day a long ganglln' feller with a mild eye, a soft voice and a eotentu' lookln' face hap pened Into town. Ills name waa Ab Case, and Hint's him a-elttln' over there on the left "Ab be was lookln' for a Job, and tbe town It waa lookln' for a marshal jest thon, so the two gits together and strikes up a dual. Ab says be ain't never been a uiunbal, hut 'lows ha can manage It all right, and the town Is findln' It difficult to get anybody to take tbe Job with Joe Kern and ahore death bonglu' over It eo to apeak. 'Well, Ab Is sworn In and pnta on tbe star, and then bora cornea a Invite to blm from Joe, askln' him to resign. Ab listened to Joe'a message, which was delivered by another cowboy, then ahrugs bla ahouldors and replies that be don't never accept Invitations second hand. " . n. ' " if Mr. Kern wants me to consider any proposition be baa got to offer along that Hue,' he says, 'he will have to corns In and see me possonally.' "About three dsys later Mr. Kern did come In. Down at tbe saloon he told them why he had come. It was to convince the new marshal that be ought to resign and go away. " 'And I have brought my vary best arguments with me,' be finished, 'ar guments that ain't never failed aa a laat resort.' "Be ahore bad them, too-a Win chester and a braes of six shooters. And be knowed bow to handle them arguments 'bout aa eloquently as any man that ever lived. "He Irrigated bla system at the bar, coolly lighted a cigar and then went out to look up the marshal and pay his respects to him. And be didn't have to go far, either, for be was scarcely out of tbe saloon when somebody pointed out Ab atandln' on a corner 'bout half a block away. " 'Arc you ahore that's blmf Joe naked. 'I'd rather not make any mis take and kill an Innocent man If It can be helped.' ,. "That's shore him," they answered. "Joe smiled and raised hit guo. " Til Barter wake him np,' he said. 1 won't hurt him at first but Jeet call bis attention that I'm here.' "Us fired, end the ball cot a lock of hair from Ab's head. Ab looked around sort of casual to sea what It meant and the next Instant aent back an answer to Joe'a shot That anawer plowed a furrow along the aide of Joe'a head. . ' ' "From that they went at it in dead earnest Everybody else got oat of tho way and give 'cm a clear field. There wa'n't no Imckln' down and no runnln' on the part of neither of 'em, Tbcy Jest stood up there and pumped lead at and Into each other as carelessly and cheerfully as yoa please. "After 'bout ten minutes the flrln' cesscd, and then ws all cautiously peered out to aee how It bad ended. They was both down on the ground helpless, but still tryln to shoot "When we come to examine, we found 'em pretty badly riddled np, hut with no wounds that promised to be fatal. We carried 'cm off, and the doctors patched 'em up, and for a long time they remained quiet In bed. "Some of ua reckoned tbe matter would end there, aa they bad both aborely had enough, but the older men thought different One of 'em sold: " 'It won't ever end while they both live. Kern will never give up, and It'a pretty evident Cass won't either. When tbey got out they'll bo at It again, and they'll keep at it till one of 'em Is done for.' "And It proved that be waa partly right Tbo very first time they met after their recovery they took another round of abootln' at each other. "Tbe result this time was similar to what It bad been before. Both were badly used up, but neither Injured fatally. "And ao for two years it continued. Every time Joe came up to town there waa a ahootln bout They fought to kill, too, and, both of 'em belli' good shots, we reckoned every time one of em would be shore, to git it But strange to say, neither of 'em ever did. They riddled each other all up, but they waa never able to gtt in a finish in'ahot "I'll git him ylt though,' Joe de clared. 'I'm Jest bound to do It before I quit' "Ab made the same declaration, and we was all shore one of 'era would be killed before the tblug come to an end. Didn't seem like It could wind up any other way. . ' "But It transpired that we 'was all entirely nilstakon, aa you can see for yourself. "One day, 'bout three months after the last sbootln' scrape and Jest when we was expectln' Joe to make another appearance, a covered wagon drove Into town and stopped In front of the mayor's office. The wagon was from the Triple X, and we couldn't under stand Its boln' covered that way, so we nil gathered round to tee what it meant "In the bottom of the wagon was aome straw, and lylu' stretched out on the straw waa Joe Kern. We see at a fflanco that Joo. waa mighty alck. for ho Jest lay there and - moaned ana didn't -take no notice of nobody nor nothlnY 'i"v'w, ' ' "While ws waa atandln' (here gapln' Ilka a passul of Idiots Ab come np and pushed bis way through the Crowd to tbe wagon. We 'lowed shore as soon at Ab got his eyes on Joe he'd plaf him, but right there we was mistaken some more, !-.(" ';'' ! :'; :( "Ab looks at Joe a minute, then turns to tbe driver and sayts " What' a the matter of tbe ensst " 'Smallpox,' the driver replies. "In about half a minute that Iden ileal part of town became rather sesree of population. All of ns except Ab,' Joe snd the driver happened to simultaneously remember that we had more prcssln' business other placet, and We hurried off to tend to It "It seemod, aa we learned afterward, that Joe bad been exposed to the small pox somewhere and that tbe first thing tbey knowed he took down with It Tbe ranch wn'n't no fit place for a alck man to stay, so they loaded blm up and sent blm Into town, expectln' the mayor tc take him In band and do sotnetblu' with "or TBiBt's sjnr mohb snooriic doks, XOO'LL BAVI TO DO IT I" . him. But It happened that the mayor waa away from borne and wouldn't be back for a week. "Ab studied a little while. Then be said to the driver; " Take him down to my house. 111 keep blm and do the best I can for htm. That aeema to be all there Is for It' "So the driver went on down to Ab's bouse, and be and Ab took Joe from tbe wagon and carried blm In and put blm In Ab'a bed. Ab turned nuss and stayed right there with Joe, sleepln' on a blanket on tbe floor. "Of courso we waa all surprised at Ab doln' that way, seels' that he and Joe were aucb bitter enemies, and we talked about It and wondered at It Joe couldn't understand It either, ao one day when be waa glttln' better he aaye to Ab: , " Tbere'a one thing 1 want to know, Mr. Case. I've puaaled about it a good bit lyln' here, and I can't seem to git the hang of It I would like to know why you took me In and nussed me this wayr " 'I hope,' Ab replied, 'that you ain't got no notion that I done It for lover " 'Hardly,' Joe answered, 'But that Is what makes It harder to understand.' " Then I'll explain,' Ab said. Tint I wouldn't be brute enough to let a alck dog suffer for attention If I could help it and, second, I didn't want you to die a natural death and cheat me out of the pleasure of ahootln' yon.' "Joe's face broke Into a amlle, and he reached out and took Ab'a band and pressed It warmly. "Tour worda are a great relief to me,' be said. 'I waa afraid you waa goln' to place me under obligations not to kill you, and It worried me. But now I understand, and it'a all right Aa aoon aa I get out of this we'll take op the fight and we'll keep It up till I git you.' " Till I git you, yon mean,' Ab cor rected. "Don Well, you'll see.' "It went on till at last Joe waa able to bo up and around; then I'm blamed If Ab didn't turn In and take down with tbe smallpox. Then them two Jest reversed things. Ab took the bed, and Joe nussed him and slept on the floor. Ab waa mighty bad off for awhile, but finally be begun to git bet ter. "One day when Joe was slttln' by the bed Ab broke a long slleuce by saying; "'I'll be out soon now, and then I reckon we'll be dono with this cussed amallpox. " 'Yep, I reckon bo,' Joe replied. "'And It won't be long either,' Ab went on, till we can resume our little pastime of shootln' each other up.' "Joe turns around and looks Ab straight In the cyea and says: "'You may think me a coward If you want to, but I say right now that If there's any more shootln' done you'll have to do it I'm through for my part Before I'll shoot a mau who took me in and cared for me like you did I'll pull up stakes aid leave the country.' "Ab looked surprised for a moment; then he stretched out his hand and BOld: ' ' V' , - ,f ;.j 1 " 'put 'er thar, pard. Them's my sen timonts enctly.' 1 , "And from that day them two fel lora has been Jest like you Bee 'em Don't Let Talk Take '4 1 the Place of Test Don't let anyone's prejudice or selfish opposition convince you that any of the "Triangle A" brands are not better than any other cigars sold at the same price. That's no way to judge. You can test it for yourself, and you are the only one who'knows when the cigar suits you. ' ' t Smoke any "Triangle A" brand and compare it fairly with any other cigar sold at the same trice. . We are willing to stake the success of our whole business on public opinion founded on this test. ' ' The experience which has been combined in producing the American Cigar Company's cigars was acquired from the operation of nearly 100 of the most famous and successful factories inJ Cuba and the United States. ; And processes of proper refining and scientific blending mean much to every smoker. ' " ' ' -: - You can bank on the "Triangle A" sign every time. No more raw, green, bitter tobacco in your cigars I Is that worth the trouble ? The ' 'Triangle A" is the mark that protects you. 27teifeCREMO 5 cents Every box is now extra-wrapped in glassine paper, sealed at each end with the "Triangle Aw in red. The cigars are kept clean, fresh and in perfect smoking condition until the box is opened. ' AMERICAN CIGAR COMPANY, Manufacturer Made . A lteftA 2 low, quiet and peaceful as tamos, tne rery host of friends and always hang In' around together." A Well Manntrsd Bus. Biding In nn omnibus up Regent atreet recently, an old lady was an noying the other passengers by her re marks. Tbe conductor remonstrated with bcr. Baying, "Ma'am, remember you are in a public vehicle, and behave aa sucb."-Loudon Spectator. CANT BE SEPARATED. Some Aatoria People Have Learned How to Get Rid of Both. , Backache and kidney ache are twin brothers. You can't separate them. And you can't get rid of the back ache until you cure the kidney ache. If the kidneys are well and strong, the rest of the system is pretty sure to be in vigorous health. Doan's Kidney Pills make strong, healthy kidneys. H. J. Young, of 2901 Morrison street, Portland, Ore., says: "I have had no occasion to use any kidney medicine since 1903, and that is the very reason why I can recommend Doan's Kidney Fills . so strongly. This remedy relieved me at that time of an annoying attack of kidney com plaint which had clung to me for quite a while, and had become aggravated by a cold which settled in my back. The relief was speedy and lasting, and not the slightest trace of a recur rence has appeared during the three years that have elapsed. I am con vinced that this is good proof of the value of Doan's Kidney Pills." For sale by all dealers. Price, 50 cents. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, New York, sole agents for the United States. Remember the name Doan's and take no other. Sarcastic Art Master (pointing to a lean horse) -What do you call that? Cabby-An 'orse, sir. Art Master A horse! Bub It out, and do It again. London An iwers. If a man would learn to pray, let hlui go to sea. French Proverb. Subscribe for the Astorian. F National REPORT OF THE CONDITION OF THE irst At Astoria, in the State of Oregon, at the close of business, February 14, 1908: . RESOURCES. Loans and discounts $403,597.61 Overdrafts, secured and un- , secured I,89a91 U. S. Bonds to secure cir culation 47,000.00 Premium on U. S. Bonds.. 1,400.00 Bonds, securities, etc...... 56,930.00 Due from National Banks (not reserve agents) 51,204.04 Due from State Banks and Bankers 46.085.1S Due from approved reserve agents 200,595.03 Checks and other casn items . 487.62 Notes of other National Banks 13,955.00 Nickels and cents 322.51 Lawful money reserve in Bank, viz.: Soecia $194,000 Legal-tender notes. 120 194,120.00 Redemption fund with u. b. Treasurer (5 oer cent cir culation) 2,350.00 Total $1,019,945.87 LIABILITIES. Capital stock paid in... ..'..$100,000.00 Surplus fund ............. 25,000.00 Undivided prohts, less ex penses and taxes paid... 24,408.91 National Bank notes out standing . . 47,000.00 Individual deposits sub ject to check.. $646,648.86 Demand certificates of de posit $176,513.10 Certified checks.. 375.00 823,536.96 Total . $1,019,945.87 ' State of Oregon, County of Clat sop, ss.: I, S. S. Gordon, Cashier of the above-named bank, do solemnly swear that the above statement is true to the best of my knowledge and belief. S S. GORDON, Cashier. Subscribed and sworn to before me this 21st day of February, 1908. E. P. NOONAN, . Notary-Public. Correct Attest: w. f. McGregor, ' J. WESLEY LADD, G. C. FLAVEL, r Directors. The man who Is always on ttnie has I big advantage In the struggle for juccess. Chicago Itccord-IIerald. More than two-thirds of your life yoa wear shoes. Did you ever think of that? The Dr. A. Reed Cushion Shoe Was built to give your feet comfort two-thirds of your life; the rest yoa sleep. The W. L Douglas Shoe - Has a world-wide reputation. Wear on and be np to date. s. Fgimre 543 BOND STREET. , Opposite Fisher Bros. Best kinds of logging shoes, banc made, always on hand. Mt 60 YEARS FXPFRIFNCB r as!! i win ' a. ...... , tk. ,atl , Designs ',r H1 Copyrights Ac. Anrone wnflng sketch and ftmcrlptinn mT qnlckly ascertain our opinion free whether aa 'mention la probably patentable. Commumoa. lions atrtctlr confidential. HANDBOOK on Patents tent free. Oldest axanrr for eerurmit patents. Patents takeu tbroain Mum A Co. receive ipertoi notice, without tharse, in tha Scientific Jteicatt A handsomely Illustrated weekly. lowest etr enlation of any scienttBe JmimaL Terms, n f (ear ; foar months, Si. Sold by all newsdealers. IONN&Co.S6,B"'' New York Branch Offloa. 6SS T SU Washington. D. C S V