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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 26, 1908)
WEDNESDAY, FEB. 20, 1901 THE MORNING ASTOR IAN, ASTORIA, OREGON. . BEcamtlsin Diabetes, i Kidney Diseases, J DlflUUCI llUUUIf Liver CotnDlalnt lonsiipation, 4 '-7. , J' 4. ' Zand all tlw flaseaea arising lmi kidney and bladder troubles mo l quickly, pmaiU Ml ' " " ABSOLUTELY CURED VaM Stiff IWlM BJMV Xof the greatest eon know te mod- Van mIiul ' , .i - X HARBIGTON'S TABLETS ere eadonted by phjslsJaae fff X whtr. Tktf 'vim ear thou ds-I they will SUXKLY COBB TOO. r X i Send 25 cents Today. ffor liberal bos of these UMeW. UX tasy do sot ettrw ym we trill refeftdf mi la Ceupeaa e4 nd II te today.' ' :M BXSIROTOn xsicm w. Orud Baetl Mldu . Herugtesi MeJIcbe Ox, Onad RtpldC Ifk. I eeelose U seats Mr which aleaaeX send, postage tfvpsJd, 1 box Bdrtirf ItyJkddreaa ................... ICjr Druggist Heme .! The Old Reliable Painless Chicago Qentsts Cor. Commercial and Eleventh St. ASTORIA, ORE. Phone S90I Headquarters PORTLAND, ORE. Art equipped to do all kinds of Dental work at very lowttt prices. Nervous people and those arHlcted with heart weakness may have no fear of the dental chair. 22 K. crown ..........95.00 Bridge work, per tooth.. 3.00 Gold fillings ' $1.00 up Silver fillings 50c to $1.00 Best rubber plate. , .$8 00 Aluminum-line plate $10 to $15.00 These offices are modern through out We are able to do all work Absolutely painless. Our success is doe to uniform high grade work by gentlemanly operators having' 10 to IS years- experience. Vegetable' Vapor, patented and used only by s for painless extraction of teeth, 50c A binding guarantee given with all work for 10 years. Exami nation and consultation PRES. Lady In attendance. Eighteen of fices' in the United States. Cor. Commercial and Eleventh Srs., ' over Danslger atore. ' bowser w ng Undertakes to Develop What Hi 4, Calls Talent For Muslo. 1 HE STARTS ON THE CORNET. Weird Neltts Seen Attract a Crowd In , Front of the House That Is Dispersed by His WIfe-Musloal Career Is Cut theH. 'if, v.- f Copyright, WW, by T. O. KoClura. Mr. Bowser happened to be upetalr the other evening wbea Mr. Downer reached home, and he had Ore minute la which to bid a bundle that be hud brought under hit ami Throughout the dinner hour sue noticed fhst he had a . triumphant look on bis (ace, and now and then be gsve vent to a soft chuckle, but she did hot seek to fathom the mystery, If, be had bought am) brought home an X ray plant In order to discover If the eat had swsllowed the ten cent piece be had lost lu the morning be would have- something to ssy about it In. doe time. He bong off longer than usual,' but after finishing dinner and smoking bait a cigar be turned on hor and blandly said: "Mrs. Dowser, you don't begrudge me any little happiness I csn take around the house, do you ft "Why, of course not," she promptly replied. j "Ton know I'm not much of a band to go out evenings." - "No, you are not" "I think It Is a husband's place to pasa bla evenings at home ae much as possible, but of course be wsnta a little something to divert his mind. I don't care to read and you don't care to play cards, and ss It Is a bore to run into the neighbors' 1 am sometimes a bit lonesome. It bss seemed to me tbit If I bad a musical Instrument of eome Announcement . , J k . V . 4 i .S j I wish to inform the public that all suits ordered from me are made up right here in my own shop and that I have the largest line of spring novel ties in the city at prices within reach of all. A perfect fit guaranteed. Ladies' tailor in connection. ! Carl E. Fransccn, ASTORIA'S LEADING TAILOR, - 17 Hth'St :-r Phone S711 ASTORIA DANCING SCHOOL Kearney Hall, Exchange St. . Opposite Skating Rink t I A special Course of 10 Lessons for 1Wles. The latest and most approved SJXdeas in Dancing. $2.50 for full Course. School opens every after noon and evening. Tel. Black 2415. "BUST IBB oooxT sort to play on It would take up my time and add wbat you might call seat to the occasion." !f ' "But you haven't the slightest idea of music, you know," she rejoined without weighing ber words. "Whatt What's thatr "That Is, you haven't what they term a musical ear that Is, you don't sing, arid the time you got a harp and tried to loom to play oa it pedestrians stop ped at the gate to see wbat was going on." . ', ' "By the seven spotted bulls of Ha itian, Mrs. Bowser, but do you know wbat you are saying and who you are aaylng It . tol" be demanded with a face as red as Ore. . '. j "I mean that you kicked the harp out doors after the third evening." "Never! Never In all this world! I gsve it up simply because of the cramp In my fingers. Tou tell me that I have no ear for music! Why, wo man, I waa leading a church choir while you were wearing short dresses. Is this Insult Intended to drive me out Into the world tonight to get drunk and smash up some saloon r "Tou know it Is not, replied Mrs. Bowser. "It is nothing to your dis credit that you can't whistle a tune. There are lots of people that way." "More Insults, ehr "I mean that you couldn't that is, I hoped you hadn't brought home an other harp. The cook la very nervous, you know, and some of our neighbors don't even like to bear my soft playing on the piano. If you wasn't to take lessons and would hire soma hall" " 'IvVes All Mixed' Up." I - Poor airs. Bowser was all mixed up and could not finish. Mr. Bowser, who was as pale as the dead and as weak in the knees as If he had seen a bear, looked at her for a moment and then pointed to the ball and stairs and said! ' ' l; ! -, "Woman, you may go to your room. I will excuse you for the rest of tbe evening. To-morrow morning I will endeavor to find out whether you have a brain a(orm or wish to drive me from my home In ignominy and humllla tIon."!'i H r '. ?T . Mrs. Bowsor wont , She was glad to go. Mr. Bowser looked after ber for a moment with set Jaw and then brought out hlB package from Its hiding place and removed the wrappers to reveal a secondhand cornet He had seen it In the window of a pawnshop as he was about to pass, and while be stood look ing at It the pawn man came out and offered him a bargain that he couldn't resist ' It was the veritable cornet that a king of France wti playing on when the revolutionists called to say that he must part with bis bead to show that be had no bard feelings V i V.t tif i. i ri it 1 nikT'i against the common people. It would just et Mr. Bowser. Us bad the wtod farlt could lay back in hlB Morris hair and blow aid bww aad blow and fas! tan times the sati faction oil beat, lag Mrs. Bowser at euchre. Tbe In' trument wss purchased. "And now I'm told that I have no ear for music,", said tbe purchaser as be lifted it up' and puckered his lips for toot "I am coolly and calmly and deliberately Informed tbat 1 can't even Whistle a tune, and I am recom mended to hire a ball. By Jobn, we'll see about Itl Tbe neighbors object M a Uttle soft mnslc, do they? We'll see about that too. We'll tee whether tbe neighbors run this bouse or I do." Mr. Bowser sat down and drew long breath; then be raised the cornel to bis mouth and let ber go. The sound wss a combination of grizzly beat growl and the shouts of a man slowly sinking to a horrible death In quag mire. Other sounds followed. They wart sounds of saws sawing against Iron. They were sounds of a man with the asthma trying to hurrah for Bunkei Hill on the Fourth of July. Tbey were sounds of Ave or slf dogs engaged in deadly conflict over a bone and lire or tlx more joyously hastening up to take part in tbe scrap. Tbe pawn broker bad told Mr. Bowser tbat when ha got the thing to going not to stop and let It cool off, but to keep It at tbe redhot pitch. Tbe Instructions were carefully followed until tbe wind gave out, and tbe noise died away like the tan end of a cyclone. By tlmt time Mrs. Bowser had eome down stairs to .ssy; "Do you know that you will scare the cook to death, with tbat noise If you keep onf " '"Blast the cook!" retorted tbe plsyer aa be raised tbe born and blew anoth ar medley of walls and screams. "And tbat pedestrians are already stopping at tbe gate!" abe continued aa ahe looked out of tbe window and caught algbt of four men banging on the fence. "Blast the pedestrians F "And tbe neighbors will be knocking at the door. Tbe folks that moved In next door two weeks ago are from the country and not used to such noises."' " "Woman, retire! Betlre upstairs! Re tire to stay retired! I have hired my ball and propose to play this horn as long as I want to." Muslo Wss Weird. Mrs. Bowser could do nothing else. Then Mr. Bowser resumed. Tbe revo lutionists tbat killed the king tbat blew on that horn 'bad the proper Idea of things. They knew tbat It waa either his life or theirs. It emitted groans and grants and toots and walls. It sounded flats and It souuded sharps, and between tbem It Bounded several other things. Mr. Bowser had been in sulted by Mrs. Bowser declaring tbat he was no musician. Tbe thought of that helped bis wind at least 00 per cent as be blew. He had been advised to hire a hall. He rolled his eyes around tbo room and imagined tbat he waa In a ball tilled with 10,000 people and tbat be bad got to toot loud enough to send the shivers up and down the spines of every listener. For ten min utes the ruction went on, the earnest ness and the determination of the play er Increasing every second, and then came a thundering knock at tbe front door to Interrupt a long drawn wall Mr, Bowser answered it There were two policemen there and a crowd be hind them. ' ' - " ' " ' "Wbat tbe devil Is-thlsJ" demanded one of tbe officers. "Look at the red faced murderer!" added the other. "A rope and a limb!" shouted tbe crowd. Then Mrs. Bowser came down the stairs and talked softly and sweetly to the officers. Bbe explained that It was only Mr. Bowser and It was only one of his little wsys and tbat If they would not club or lynch blm he would soon tire of his new toy and be looking after a chicken farm or a squab ranch; and In five minutes she bad worked the crowd out of tbe yard. Then she took tbe born out of Mr. Bowser's hands and said: ; ' "When you get ready to retire, you can come along up." Three hours later, as be bad not ap peared, abe slipped downstairs in a wrapper and found him asleep on tbe lounge, and there were undrled tears on his cheeks. His musical career had been cut short M. QUAD. , Don't Let Talk Take P,j if. J:H ? t!? ..? , , J n .. . ,.;.;,;,..;,,,., t, , .... .r,r..t .,'w-i K.-'jf':. the Place of Test ... . j ., --v 1, v f, - iwp' ... i , .. vv & '-:-: ; v - ,: v ' i , i ' , " , . - .... -- 1 . ' ... Don't let anyone's prejudice or selfish opposition convince you that any of ! the "Triangle A" brands are not better than any other cigars sold at the same price. That's no way to judge. You can test it for yourself, and you are the only one who knows when the cigar suits you. ' Smoke any "Triangle A" brand and compare it fairly with any other cigar sold at the same price. We are willing to stake the success of our whole business on public opinion founded on this test. The experience which has been combined in producing the American Cigar Company's cigars was acquired from the operation of nearly 100 of the most famous and successful factories in Cuba! and the United States: J And processes of proper refining arid scientific blending mean much to "every smoker. " ; - You can bank on the "Triangle A" sign every time. No more raw, green, bitter tobacco in your cigars ! Is that worth the trouble? ' The ' 'Triangle A" is the mark that protects you;' , The New CREMO I ! '5?VVl 5 cents Every box is now extra-wrapped in glassine paper, sealed at each end with the "Triangle A" in red. The cigars are kept clean, fresh and in perfect smoking condition until the box is opened. AMERICAN CIGAR COMPANY, Manufacturer Mark atefcA , ...j i ...." . :),! Leap Year' Laugh. ' i . I'l'l,,-,!! 1 "You took worried, old manF "Yes. Had three proposals last night and don't know which one I ought to accept" Now York World. . Boiling It Down. "Flmmte, what is your father's ob jection to me?" v " ' w "He says you don't amount to any thing, Percy." - "Was tbat all be said?" . "No; that was only a small part of it" ':......,.', "Tell me the rest Plmrale." 1 "Tbe rest of It consisted of strong adjectives. You don't expect me to re peat those, do you, rercyT"Chlcago Tribune. "' : ' 1 NO FORESTS IN 1942. All the timbers in the United States will be cut within the next twenty- three to thirty-three years. This, at least, is the startling statement made by Applcton's Magazine in an article on national waste which is to appear in the March number. To back up its assertion it quotes figures. The pre sent consumption of timber is approx imately 100,000,000,000 feet a year and the annual growth is about 40,- 000,000,000 feet. The estimates of the present total supply vary from 1,400 to 2,000 billion feet. Taking the for mer figure, it is found that by 1932 there will be practically no merchant able timber left in the United States while, even if the larger estimate is correct, it will all be gone by 1942., The moral pointed by these statistics, of course, is the need of immediate action if the nation s not to be rob bed entirely of one of its most import ant natural resources. The Appleton article points out that other sources of national wealth are being depicted in the same way as the forests, al though in these other cases the limit of actual exhaustion is not so close at hand. The assertion is made, how ever, that the coal supply will last no more than another hundred years; that over a million tons of fertile soil is washed away yearly by the rivers, largely because of floods, due to the denudation of forest lands, and that the source of agricultural wealth are being undermined by improper meth ods of cultivation and neglect of fer tilizing. The remedy proposed for this state of affairs is to arouse the interest of the club-women of Amer ica in a movement to combat national waste of all kinds and to urge the conservation of the natural resources of the country.' , REASON ENTHRONED. Because meats are so tasty they are consumed in great excess. This leads to stomach troubles, biliousness and constipation. Revise your diet, let reason and not a pampered ap petite control, then take a few doses of Chamberlain's Stomach and Liver Tablets and you will soon be well again. Try it ' For sale at Frank Hart and leading druggists. . , New Grocery Store. , Try our own mixture of coffee the J. P. B. Fresh fruit and vegetables. Badollet & Co., grocers. Phone Main 1281. ; 1 DID LEE EXPECT DEFEAT? The Qeneral'a Significant Statement ' After Sailors Creak. ' " My last official Intercourse with Gen eral Lee was on the retreat I was sent to him with dispatches from Pres ident Davis and reached him near mid night of April 6 near Bice's station. 1 approached without being challenged by a single sentinel and found him standing near a smoldering lira with one of his bands resting on an am bulance wheel. He was dictating some order to Colonel Marshall, who sat in tbe ambulance with a lap desk receiv ing his dictation. As General Lee spoke he gazed into the bed of coals as if welghlpg every word. There was no staff or escort about so far as 1 could see. Touching Sailors Creek, be spoke bitterly' and said in answer to Mr. Davis' desire to know bis proposed line of retreat that It was beyond his control; that he had Intended to re treat by the line of the Danville road, but bad been forced off tbat route by the arrival of Sheridan ahead of him at Burkvllle that he was then follow ing the line of the Southslde road to Lynchburg, but the enemy was out marching him and might force him off; that his movements were dependent on the developments of each hour, and then he added: "How can I tell? A few more Sailors Creeks and it will all be over Just where I thought It would end from the beginning." When I first published this statement Its truthful ness was questioned. Fortunately I afterward saw two of his staff, both of whom said they bad heard blm ex press himself In the same way. There may have been 'times when General Lee, elated by some of his surprising successes, ' felt' hopeful' about the tri umph of our cause. From the proba bilities based on numbers and resources his Judgment may have been warped away now and then by the feeling be expressed when, after Second Manas sas, Sharpstmrg, Fredericksburg and Chancellors vllle, he said,' "No general ever commanded such troops as those under me." But his mind was too mathematical In Its workings, and ull Its calculations were too habitually based upon what could be done with a given number" of men and a certain amount of material to make him forget the Vast disparity between the contest ants or hope for ultimate trlumph. John S. Wise In Circle Magazine. One Wy. Husband I don't know bow mucb of an allowance to give you. Wife YoU know how much you can afford, don't your Husband Why. yea. Wtfe Then give me as much more as yol can snare. Illustrated Bits. - Mora than two-thirds of your lift yon wear shoes. Did you' ever think of that? ' ' The Dr. A. Reed Cushion Shoe Was built to give your feet comfort two-thirds of your life; the rest yon sleep. ,, The W. L Douglas ' ... ..- ' .. I Shoe Haa a world-wide reputation. Wear one and be up to date. S. A. GIJI1RE 543 BOND STREET. Opposite Fisher Bros. Best kinds of logging shoes, hand made, always on hand. MM. 60 YEARS' EXPERIENCE Urn H .MliTSaS" v m i til j n rxT3 TRADE MARKS -! j 'f '..J. liOPVniOHTB OLC Anyone fwndlng A Match and daer1ptton my quickly umrtHln our opinion fra whether an 'mention it probably patentable. Coumanlea. Mon,trletlyooodetlal. HANDBOOK on I'atenu, lent free. OMeat acenoy for eecunni; pnCenta. (stent taken thtounh Muim A Co. nuelTa, tptciai Rotlc. without Cburga, In the Scientific flmicast A handsomely lltntrtrated weekly. I.nnwat etr. eolatton of any eolsntldo jimrual. Tenua.tS rear: roar montna,ai. BOiaoj-au mwaaeaiera m Pn seiBrotdww, Now Ynrk IWillV V Wi iiwii Bntucb Offloa. 626 FSU Waflhlnacotu IX C t ..t-i