WEDNESDAY, FEB. 20, 1901
THE MORNING ASTOR IAN, ASTORIA, OREGON.
.
BEcamtlsin
Diabetes,
i Kidney Diseases, J
DlflUUCI llUUUIf
Liver CotnDlalnt
lonsiipation,
4 '-7. , J' 4. '
Zand all tlw flaseaea arising lmi
kidney and bladder troubles mo l
quickly, pmaiU Ml ' " "
ABSOLUTELY CURED
VaM Stiff IWlM BJMV
Xof the greatest eon know te mod-
Van mIiul ' , .i - X
HARBIGTON'S
TABLETS
ere eadonted by phjslsJaae fff X
whtr. Tktf 'vim ear thou ds-I
they will SUXKLY COBB TOO. r X
i Send 25 cents Today.
ffor liberal bos of these UMeW. UX
tasy do sot ettrw ym we trill refeftdf
mi la Ceupeaa e4 nd II te
today.' ' :M
BXSIROTOn xsicm w.
Orud Baetl Mldu .
Herugtesi MeJIcbe Ox,
Onad RtpldC Ifk.
I eeelose U seats Mr which aleaaeX
send, postage tfvpsJd, 1 box Bdrtirf
ItyJkddreaa ...................
ICjr Druggist Heme .!
The Old Reliable
Painless
Chicago
Qentsts
Cor. Commercial and Eleventh St.
ASTORIA, ORE.
Phone S90I
Headquarters
PORTLAND, ORE.
Art equipped to do all kinds of
Dental work at very lowttt prices.
Nervous people and those arHlcted
with heart weakness may have no
fear of the dental chair.
22 K. crown ..........95.00
Bridge work, per tooth.. 3.00
Gold fillings ' $1.00 up
Silver fillings 50c to $1.00
Best rubber plate. , .$8 00
Aluminum-line plate $10 to $15.00
These offices are modern through
out We are able to do all work
Absolutely painless. Our success is
doe to uniform high grade work by
gentlemanly operators having' 10
to IS years- experience. Vegetable'
Vapor, patented and used only by
s for painless extraction of teeth,
50c A binding guarantee given
with all work for 10 years. Exami
nation and consultation PRES.
Lady In attendance. Eighteen of
fices' in the United States.
Cor. Commercial and Eleventh Srs.,
' over Danslger atore. '
bowser w ng
Undertakes to Develop What Hi
4, Calls Talent For Muslo.
1
HE STARTS ON THE CORNET.
Weird Neltts Seen Attract a Crowd In
, Front of the House That Is Dispersed
by His WIfe-Musloal Career Is
Cut theH.
'if, v.- f
Copyright, WW, by T. O. KoClura.
Mr. Bowser happened to be upetalr
the other evening wbea Mr. Downer
reached home, and he had Ore minute
la which to bid a bundle that be hud
brought under hit ami Throughout
the dinner hour sue noticed fhst he had
a . triumphant look on bis (ace, and
now and then be gsve vent to a soft
chuckle, but she did hot seek to fathom
the mystery, If, be had bought am)
brought home an X ray plant In order
to discover If the eat had swsllowed
the ten cent piece be had lost lu the
morning be would have- something to
ssy about it In. doe time. He bong off
longer than usual,' but after finishing
dinner and smoking bait a cigar be
turned on hor and blandly said:
"Mrs. Dowser, you don't begrudge
me any little happiness I csn take
around the house, do you ft
"Why, of course not," she promptly
replied. j
"Ton know I'm not much of a band
to go out evenings." -
"No, you are not"
"I think It Is a husband's place to
pasa bla evenings at home ae much as
possible, but of course be wsnta a little
something to divert his mind. I don't
care to read and you don't care to play
cards, and ss It Is a bore to run into
the neighbors' 1 am sometimes a bit
lonesome. It bss seemed to me tbit If
I bad a musical Instrument of eome
Announcement
. , J k . V . 4 i .S j
I wish to inform the public that all
suits ordered from me are made up
right here in my own shop and that I
have the largest line of spring novel
ties in the city at prices within reach
of all. A perfect fit guaranteed. Ladies'
tailor in connection. !
Carl E. Fransccn,
ASTORIA'S LEADING TAILOR,
- 17 Hth'St :-r Phone S711
ASTORIA
DANCING
SCHOOL
Kearney Hall, Exchange St.
. Opposite Skating Rink t
I A special Course of 10 Lessons for
1Wles. The latest and most approved
SJXdeas in Dancing. $2.50 for full
Course. School opens every after
noon and evening. Tel. Black 2415.
"BUST IBB oooxT
sort to play on It would take up my
time and add wbat you might call seat
to the occasion." !f '
"But you haven't the slightest idea
of music, you know," she rejoined
without weighing ber words.
"Whatt What's thatr
"That Is, you haven't what they term
a musical ear that Is, you don't sing,
arid the time you got a harp and tried
to loom to play oa it pedestrians stop
ped at the gate to see wbat was going
on." . ', '
"By the seven spotted bulls of Ha
itian, Mrs. Bowser, but do you know
wbat you are saying and who you are
aaylng It . tol" be demanded with a
face as red as Ore. . '. j
"I mean that you kicked the harp out
doors after the third evening."
"Never! Never In all this world! I
gsve it up simply because of the
cramp In my fingers. Tou tell me that
I have no ear for music! Why, wo
man, I waa leading a church choir
while you were wearing short dresses.
Is this Insult Intended to drive me out
Into the world tonight to get drunk and
smash up some saloon r
"Tou know it Is not, replied Mrs.
Bowser. "It is nothing to your dis
credit that you can't whistle a tune.
There are lots of people that way."
"More Insults, ehr
"I mean that you couldn't that is, I
hoped you hadn't brought home an
other harp. The cook la very nervous,
you know, and some of our neighbors
don't even like to bear my soft playing
on the piano. If you wasn't to take
lessons and would hire soma hall"
" 'IvVes All Mixed' Up." I -
Poor airs. Bowser was all mixed up
and could not finish.
Mr. Bowser, who was as pale as the
dead and as weak in the knees as If
he had seen a bear, looked at her for a
moment and then pointed to the ball
and stairs and said! ' ' l; !
-, "Woman, you may go to your room.
I will excuse you for the rest of tbe
evening. To-morrow morning I will
endeavor to find out whether you have
a brain a(orm or wish to drive me from
my home In ignominy and humllla
tIon."!'i H r '. ?T .
Mrs. Bowsor wont , She was glad to
go. Mr. Bowser looked after ber for a
moment with set Jaw and then brought
out hlB package from Its hiding place
and removed the wrappers to reveal a
secondhand cornet He had seen it In
the window of a pawnshop as he was
about to pass, and while be stood look
ing at It the pawn man came out and
offered him a bargain that he couldn't
resist ' It was the veritable cornet
that a king of France wti playing on
when the revolutionists called to say
that he must part with bis bead to
show that be had no bard feelings
V i V.t tif i. i ri it 1 nikT'i
against the common people. It would
just et Mr. Bowser. Us bad the wtod
farlt could lay back in hlB Morris
hair and blow aid bww aad blow and
fas! tan times the sati faction oil beat,
lag Mrs. Bowser at euchre. Tbe In'
trument wss purchased.
"And now I'm told that I have no
ear for music,", said tbe purchaser as
be lifted it up' and puckered his lips
for toot "I am coolly and calmly
and deliberately Informed tbat 1 can't
even Whistle a tune, and I am recom
mended to hire a ball. By Jobn, we'll
see about Itl Tbe neighbors object M
a Uttle soft mnslc, do they? We'll see
about that too. We'll tee whether tbe
neighbors run this bouse or I do."
Mr. Bowser sat down and drew
long breath; then be raised the cornel
to bis mouth and let ber go. The sound
wss a combination of grizzly beat
growl and the shouts of a man slowly
sinking to a horrible death In quag
mire. Other sounds followed. They
wart sounds of saws sawing against
Iron. They were sounds of a man with
the asthma trying to hurrah for Bunkei
Hill on the Fourth of July. Tbey were
sounds of Ave or slf dogs engaged in
deadly conflict over a bone and lire
or tlx more joyously hastening up to
take part in tbe scrap. Tbe pawn
broker bad told Mr. Bowser tbat when
ha got the thing to going not to stop
and let It cool off, but to keep It at
tbe redhot pitch. Tbe Instructions
were carefully followed until tbe wind
gave out, and tbe noise died away like
the tan end of a cyclone. By tlmt
time Mrs. Bowser had eome down
stairs to .ssy;
"Do you know that you will scare
the cook to death, with tbat noise If
you keep onf "
'"Blast the cook!" retorted tbe plsyer
aa be raised tbe born and blew anoth
ar medley of walls and screams.
"And tbat pedestrians are already
stopping at tbe gate!" abe continued
aa ahe looked out of tbe window and
caught algbt of four men banging on
the fence.
"Blast the pedestrians F
"And tbe neighbors will be knocking
at the door. Tbe folks that moved In
next door two weeks ago are from the
country and not used to such noises."'
" "Woman, retire! Betlre upstairs! Re
tire to stay retired! I have hired my
ball and propose to play this horn as
long as I want to."
Muslo Wss Weird.
Mrs. Bowser could do nothing else.
Then Mr. Bowser resumed. Tbe revo
lutionists tbat killed the king tbat blew
on that horn 'bad the proper Idea of
things. They knew tbat It waa either
his life or theirs. It emitted groans
and grants and toots and walls. It
sounded flats and It souuded sharps,
and between tbem It Bounded several
other things. Mr. Bowser had been in
sulted by Mrs. Bowser declaring tbat
he was no musician. Tbe thought of
that helped bis wind at least 00 per
cent as be blew. He had been advised
to hire a hall. He rolled his eyes
around tbo room and imagined tbat he
waa In a ball tilled with 10,000 people
and tbat be bad got to toot loud enough
to send the shivers up and down the
spines of every listener. For ten min
utes the ruction went on, the earnest
ness and the determination of the play
er Increasing every second, and then
came a thundering knock at tbe front
door to Interrupt a long drawn wall
Mr, Bowser answered it There were
two policemen there and a crowd be
hind them. ' ' - " ' " '
"Wbat tbe devil Is-thlsJ" demanded
one of tbe officers.
"Look at the red faced murderer!"
added the other.
"A rope and a limb!" shouted tbe
crowd.
Then Mrs. Bowser came down the
stairs and talked softly and sweetly to
the officers. Bbe explained that It was
only Mr. Bowser and It was only one
of his little wsys and tbat If they
would not club or lynch blm he would
soon tire of his new toy and be looking
after a chicken farm or a squab ranch;
and In five minutes she bad worked
the crowd out of tbe yard. Then she
took tbe born out of Mr. Bowser's
hands and said: ; '
"When you get ready to retire, you
can come along up."
Three hours later, as be bad not ap
peared, abe slipped downstairs in a
wrapper and found him asleep on tbe
lounge, and there were undrled tears
on his cheeks. His musical career had
been cut short M. QUAD.
,
Don't Let Talk Take
P,j if. J:H ? t!? ..? , , J n .. . ,.;.;,;,..;,,,., t, , .... .r,r..t .,'w-i K.-'jf':.
the Place of Test
... . j ., --v 1, v f, - iwp' ... i , .. vv & '-:-:
; v - ,: v ' i , i ' , " , . - .... -- 1 . ' ...
Don't let anyone's prejudice or selfish opposition convince
you that any of ! the "Triangle A" brands are not better
than any other cigars sold at the same price.
That's no way to judge.
You can test it for yourself, and you are the only one
who knows when the cigar suits you. '
Smoke any "Triangle A" brand and compare it fairly
with any other cigar sold at the same price.
We are willing to stake the success of our whole business
on public opinion founded on this test.
The experience which has been combined in producing
the American Cigar Company's cigars was acquired from the
operation of nearly 100 of the most famous and successful
factories in Cuba! and the United States: J And processes of
proper refining arid scientific blending mean much to "every
smoker. " ; -
You can bank on the "Triangle A" sign every time. No
more raw, green, bitter tobacco in your cigars !
Is that worth the trouble? '
The ' 'Triangle A" is the mark that protects you;' ,
The New CREMO
I ! '5?VVl
5 cents
Every box is now extra-wrapped in glassine paper, sealed at each
end with the "Triangle A" in red. The cigars are kept clean, fresh and
in perfect smoking condition until the box is opened.
AMERICAN CIGAR COMPANY, Manufacturer
Mark
atefcA
, ...j i ...." . :),!
Leap Year' Laugh. '
i . I'l'l,,-,!! 1
"You took worried, old manF
"Yes. Had three proposals last night
and don't know which one I ought to
accept" Now York World. .
Boiling It Down.
"Flmmte, what is your father's ob
jection to me?" v " ' w
"He says you don't amount to any
thing, Percy." -
"Was tbat all be said?"
. "No; that was only a small part of
it" ':......,.',
"Tell me the rest Plmrale."
1 "Tbe rest of It consisted of strong
adjectives. You don't expect me to re
peat those, do you, rercyT"Chlcago
Tribune. "' : ' 1
NO FORESTS IN 1942.
All the timbers in the United States
will be cut within the next twenty-
three to thirty-three years. This, at
least, is the startling statement made
by Applcton's Magazine in an article
on national waste which is to appear
in the March number. To back up its
assertion it quotes figures. The pre
sent consumption of timber is approx
imately 100,000,000,000 feet a year
and the annual growth is about 40,-
000,000,000 feet. The estimates of the
present total supply vary from 1,400
to 2,000 billion feet. Taking the for
mer figure, it is found that by 1932
there will be practically no merchant
able timber left in the United States
while, even if the larger estimate is
correct, it will all be gone by 1942.,
The moral pointed by these statistics,
of course, is the need of immediate
action if the nation s not to be rob
bed entirely of one of its most import
ant natural resources. The Appleton
article points out that other sources
of national wealth are being depicted
in the same way as the forests, al
though in these other cases the limit
of actual exhaustion is not so close
at hand. The assertion is made, how
ever, that the coal supply will last no
more than another hundred years;
that over a million tons of fertile soil
is washed away yearly by the rivers,
largely because of floods, due to the
denudation of forest lands, and that
the source of agricultural wealth are
being undermined by improper meth
ods of cultivation and neglect of fer
tilizing. The remedy proposed for
this state of affairs is to arouse the
interest of the club-women of Amer
ica in a movement to combat national
waste of all kinds and to urge the
conservation of the natural resources
of the country.' ,
REASON ENTHRONED.
Because meats are so tasty they
are consumed in great excess. This
leads to stomach troubles, biliousness
and constipation. Revise your diet,
let reason and not a pampered ap
petite control, then take a few doses
of Chamberlain's Stomach and Liver
Tablets and you will soon be well
again. Try it ' For sale at Frank
Hart and leading druggists. . ,
New Grocery Store. ,
Try our own mixture of coffee the
J. P. B. Fresh fruit and vegetables.
Badollet & Co., grocers. Phone Main
1281. ; 1
DID LEE EXPECT DEFEAT?
The Qeneral'a Significant Statement
' After Sailors Creak. ' "
My last official Intercourse with Gen
eral Lee was on the retreat I was
sent to him with dispatches from Pres
ident Davis and reached him near mid
night of April 6 near Bice's station. 1
approached without being challenged
by a single sentinel and found him
standing near a smoldering lira with
one of his bands resting on an am
bulance wheel. He was dictating some
order to Colonel Marshall, who sat in
tbe ambulance with a lap desk receiv
ing his dictation. As General Lee
spoke he gazed into the bed of coals
as if welghlpg every word. There was
no staff or escort about so far as 1
could see. Touching Sailors Creek, be
spoke bitterly' and said in answer to
Mr. Davis' desire to know bis proposed
line of retreat that It was beyond his
control; that he had Intended to re
treat by the line of the Danville road,
but bad been forced off tbat route by
the arrival of Sheridan ahead of him
at Burkvllle that he was then follow
ing the line of the Southslde road to
Lynchburg, but the enemy was out
marching him and might force him off;
that his movements were dependent
on the developments of each hour, and
then he added: "How can I tell? A
few more Sailors Creeks and it will all
be over Just where I thought It would
end from the beginning." When I first
published this statement Its truthful
ness was questioned. Fortunately I
afterward saw two of his staff, both
of whom said they bad heard blm ex
press himself In the same way. There
may have been 'times when General
Lee, elated by some of his surprising
successes, ' felt' hopeful' about the tri
umph of our cause. From the proba
bilities based on numbers and resources
his Judgment may have been warped
away now and then by the feeling be
expressed when, after Second Manas
sas, Sharpstmrg, Fredericksburg and
Chancellors vllle, he said,' "No general
ever commanded such troops as those
under me." But his mind was too
mathematical In Its workings, and ull
Its calculations were too habitually
based upon what could be done with
a given number" of men and a certain
amount of material to make him forget
the Vast disparity between the contest
ants or hope for ultimate trlumph.
John S. Wise In Circle Magazine.
One Wy.
Husband I don't know bow mucb
of an allowance to give you. Wife
YoU know how much you can afford,
don't your Husband Why. yea. Wtfe
Then give me as much more as yol
can snare. Illustrated Bits. -
Mora than two-thirds of your lift
yon wear shoes. Did you' ever think
of that? ' '
The Dr. A. Reed
Cushion Shoe
Was built to give your feet comfort
two-thirds of your life; the rest yon
sleep. ,,
The W. L Douglas
' ... ..- ' .. I
Shoe
Haa a world-wide reputation. Wear
one and be up to date.
S. A. GIJI1RE
543 BOND STREET.
Opposite Fisher Bros.
Best kinds of logging shoes, hand
made, always on hand.
MM. 60 YEARS'
EXPERIENCE
Urn H .MliTSaS"
v m i til
j n rxT3
TRADE MARKS
-! j 'f '..J. liOPVniOHTB OLC
Anyone fwndlng A Match and daer1ptton my
quickly umrtHln our opinion fra whether an
'mention it probably patentable. Coumanlea.
Mon,trletlyooodetlal. HANDBOOK on I'atenu,
lent free. OMeat acenoy for eecunni; pnCenta.
(stent taken thtounh Muim A Co. nuelTa,
tptciai Rotlc. without Cburga, In the
Scientific flmicast
A handsomely lltntrtrated weekly. I.nnwat etr.
eolatton of any eolsntldo jimrual. Tenua.tS
rear: roar montna,ai. BOiaoj-au mwaaeaiera
m Pn seiBrotdww, Now Ynrk
IWillV V Wi iiwii
Bntucb Offloa. 626 FSU Waflhlnacotu IX C
t ..t-i