Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 6, 1908)
6 THE MORNING ASTORIAN. ASTORIA, OitEGON. THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 0, 1008. INITIATION DFBQWSER Gay Old Boys' Club Explains What Was Done on That Occasion. GIVES TRUE FACTS IN CASE Organization Resents the Statement Mad by New Mambar Concerning ! His Traatmant Takan to Hia Horn by Membere. tCopyrisht, 1907, bjr T. C McClur.J , At the last meeting of the Gay Old Boys' club. founded by Noah Webster at the time bo got out his first diction ary and numbering among Its members each convivial persons as Thomas Jef ferson, James Monroe and James Madi son, the following preamble and resolu tion were unanimously adopted: "Whereas, An Individual calling him elf and known to the public as Samuel Bowser made application for member ship In this club and was elected and Initiated and then came out In the pub lic press and made statements deroga tory to Its high and mighty dignity; aow, therefore, be It "Reeolred, That the secretary of the crab be requested and empowered to write and publish a statement contain ing the true facts In the case over the great seal of the club." The statement Is as follows and worn to before a notary public: "Some time since Mr. Samuel Bowser made it known to one of the members of this club that be had long been look- DKJLPKD AS JtrLTCB CAXSAB. tag for just such an organization and would feel honored to become a mem , ber. In due time the following list of printed questions was sent to him to fill out and return: "Are yon a baldheaded man? "Does Mrs. Bowser stand in awe of you? "Can you find your way borne after drinking the third bottle? "Have yon the moral courage to en ter your house at 2 o'clock in the morn ing, knowing that your wife is sitting np for yon? "How long have yon been a game old sport? "How long have yon had a desire to Join some club that was engaged in saving the country? "If given the choice of separation from your wife or the club, which would it be? "Should you reach home in a dizzy condition from any cause, can we tnnst you to keep the name of this club on sullied? i "Do you babble In your dreams? "Are there any back windows to your bouse that yon can climb into In case yon find the front door bolted against you? "Do you agree to abide by all the rales and regulations In force in this club at the time of your Initiation ? "Mr. Bowser's answers to the ques tions as above were considered satis factory, and he was notified that on a certain night he ehould appear for ini tiation. What passed between him and Mrs. Bowser when he told her of the coming honor we can only guess at, but It was probably ail that could be hoped for. As the first step in his initiation he was requited to sing a love song. He selected 'A Brown Eyed Angel' and sang with great feeling. At its finish a fine of $21 was Imposed on him to pay for the broken glass and the dam age to the ceiling, and be cheerfully paid it Patted Ordeal Nobly. "Mr. Bowser was then seated in a chair, and a poultice consisting of bran and catnip was applied to his head. He passed the ordeal nobly. "He was then asked to stand on his head to give his brains a new sensa tion. He hesitated for a moment, but when informed that the Hon. Charles Bumner and all others had willingly complied with the regulations he up ended himself. "There was a solemn aud dignified silence while he stood on his head. This club has never yet forgotten its dignity. "When Mr. Bowser's brains bad thor oughly enjoyed the novel situation be was given a bowl of rice and two chop sticks and requested to eat. He did fairly well. Indeed, the few members that yet doubted that be was a game old sport were by this time fully con vinced that he was a good loser. "The next step was to requsst a speech from him on the bulwarks of American liberty. This was to show his familiarity with the principles of government. He wabbled somewhat--that is. he dlxcd Columbus, Napoleon, sbout Mrs, Bowser but, al) things cob itJbred, he got through very well, there were bo roars of laughter. All about him was silence and dignity. . The Gay Old Boya have never yet for gotten what Is due to themselves. I "fi Ttmraor n than tvwml n a beer keg standing on end and was draped as Julius Caesar, while four members of the club, provided with potatoes, retired to the other side of the hall and threw at htm. lie ob jected at first, but finally announced that he would go through with It to spite Mrs. Bowser. "He was thou draped as Napoleon and was given a glass of sour butter milk to drluk. He drank it off with the observation that there were no files on him. "He was then seated on the keg, with each bare foot in a pail of Ice water, and told to look like Washing ton crossing tho Delaware. In the course of five mtnutes Mr. Bowser as sumed tweuty-seven different expres sions of countenance, but he dually struck the right one at last and held it like a conqueror. There was no cheering, however. The Gay Old Boys never cheer. They show their appre ciation by their dignity and silence. "As the next step Mr. Bowser was asked to name three different school ma'ams he had fallen in love with be fore be was twenty years old. He promptly named seven, but followed It by an impassioned appeal that we should not say anything to Mrs. Bow ser. Upon being asked if he was afraid of her be denied that he was, but explained that she had a little way of making him uncomfortable at times. ."As the last step in Mr. Bowser's in itiation he was required to lie at full length on his back on the floor while forty members marched over him. This was to show a proper humiliation of spirit Each of the forty halted for a few seconds and stood on the candi date's stomach. Mr. Bowser was about to protest, but when told that James K. Polk had submitted to the same thing be remained silent - Hailed as Brother. "The initiation thus concluded, Mr. Bowser was taken by the arms and run four times around the room and then hailed as a brother and a bottle of champagne placed before him. In a few minutes and without any prompt ing from a member be arose and sang Old Black Joe.' It was a different 'Old Black Joe' from any that we had ever heard, and it was somewhat mixed with 'Annie Laurie' and 'John Brown,' but no criticisms were made. The Gay Old Boys never criticise. "A few minutes later Mr. Bowser asked permission to deliver an oration In Latin. He was not encouraged and not refused, and be went ahead. In delivering his oration the name of Mrs. Bowser was frequently used, but we could not exactly make out what he was driving at. The Gay Old Boys never interfere In family matters. "It was noticed In a casual way that Mr. Bowser had got bold of a second quart of champagne, but no remarks were made. The Gay Old Boys never remark. "We were about to sing 'Auid Lang Syne and disperse when Mr. Bowser rose np and said that be would like to put the gloves on with some one for a couple of rounds. "The remark was laid on the. table. "Then the newborn member an nounced that be was the champion numer of the United States and that he would run any member of the club a distance of thirty miles for any wager named. "The remark was laid nnder the ta ble. "Mr Bowser then asked the privilege of making a few remarks on the deatb of Cicero, but the meeting adjourned without listening to him, though not before appointing two members to see him home and unlock the front door. That they did their brotherly duty by him there is no cause for doubt He was received at the door by Mrs. Bow ser, and as far as the members could satisfy themselves be was not dragged upstairs feet first "So far as this club is concerned, not a word would have been said to the outside world had not Mr. Bowser, by his explanations to Mrs. Bowser, forced ns into the attitude taken. "G. QUILL, "Secretary Gay Old Boys' Club." Per M. Quad. ciA:Bsip"iED' Advertising HELP WANTED. WANTED 2 MESSENGER BOYS. Apply Wesern Union. " 2-4 tf. Exceptional. "It's strange," said the impatient man, "but I never seem able to get any enswer from that telephone oper ator." "That's so," answered Mr. Meekton. "She is the one woman In my experi ence who hasn't seemed to enjoy talk ing back." Washington Star. Revenge, or the Cast Shoe. Quick Sale. r Clerk S your little boy wants a drum, eh"? Well, here's a bargain lu one that's hard to beat. Nervous Papa The very thing! That's the kind I'll buy him at any cost KanHH City Times. SITUATION WANTED. SITUATION WANTED BY A young lady of experience, a position a stenographer; has own machine. Apply this office. 2-5-3t. SITUATION WANTED BY MARRIED woman a housekeepers good cook) fond of children. Address Housekeeper, Aatorian office. 1-22-tf. PARTNER WANTED. WANTEDA PARTNER IN SMALL sanitarium; $100 required; gentleman w Udy. Address Diedrleh, Astorian oflfoe, MMf. FOR RENT. FOR RENT -9 ROOM HOUSE; corner Jerome and 17th streets. Apply to Capt. Fcrchen, 330 17th street 2-2-tf. FOR RENT-A NEW MODERN dwelling house. For particulars en quire of Van Dusen & Co., or Phone Black 23S1. 2-tf. The Morning Astorian Quick Return Columns ' Tho supplying of any wnut that may iu'Ino in douiikio or commer cial life may bo readily and quickly neconipliHhod at a nominal cost by tho publication of tho want in the "Want ad." columns of the Morning Astorian. ' ; A necessity which may oriso for buying or idling horses, carriages, furniture, pianos, real estate, sewing machines, Meyclon, unfed, watched, jewelry, typewriters, or .thousands of other articles, can bo met at once, by the insertion of a suitable advertisement in tho Morning Astorian, To secure help of any sort, or situation of any kind, to find lost articles, to secure board or boarders, lodging or lodgers, borrow money, obtain any kind of security, any of these wants may bo supplied by using tli "Want" columns of the Morning Astorian, Rates for Classified or "Want" Ads. One insertion, 1 cent a word. One line, one week, 30 cents; one line, one month, $1.00. Count six words to a line. , ; SITUATIONS WANTED For the benefit of persons out of employment, ads under tho head of "Situation Wanter," will be printed three days free of charge FOR SALE. WOOD FOR SALE PHONE RED 2186. 2-S-tf. TWO SECOND HAND TYPE . writers for sale cheap. Call at office of the Astoria Abstract Title & Trust Co, 186 Eleventh street, Astoria, Oregon. 1-24-lSt rOK BALE THE STOCK AND JTX torn of a general store located a few Ha from Astoria; rery clean stock, axl will tarok about (7000. Par Wars at WESTERN REALTY CO. ONE HUNDRED-ROOM HOTEL FOR sales doing a splendid bmlnaaai good pportunity for ftrat-cIaM hotel man. WESTERN REALTY CO. rOB SALE ONE-QUARTER OR ONE aalf Interest in a summer resort total doing a fine business over 100 reoma and always engaged Vay ahead. WESTERN REALTY CO. rOR SALE THE FURNITURE OF A large lodging boose; room always rail; low not Western Realty Co, MONEY TO LOAN. MONEY TO LOAN ON qOOD security, at Scandinavian-American Savings Bank, Astoria. Money to loan on good security. Scandinavian-American Savings Bank. Read the Morning Astorian 60 cents per month. Delivered by carryler. Nothing Makes Life So Sweet As easy, comfortable shoes. Nothing makes life as unbearable as poorly fitting shoes. Come to me and get absolute satisfaction. S. A. GIMRE 543 BOND STREET. Opposite Fisher Bros. Best kinds of logging shoes, ham made, always on hand. All kinds of SHOE REPAIRING neatly and quickly done. Read the Morning Astorian. Hildebrand & Gor Our clearing sale runs the year through. BARGAINS AT ANY TIME 467 Commercial Street. PROFESSIONAL CARD). ATTOKIflYS-AT-LAW CHARLES H. ABERCB0MBH Attorney-at-Law City AUorneq Offices, City Ball JOHN C. McCUE, Attoraey-At-Law. Deputy DUtrlct Attorney. Pag Building, Suite 4 HOWARD M. ttftOWNIU, Attorny-At-Law. eaaaBaa Office with Mr. J. A. Eakin, at V. 4 Commercial St, Astoria. DENTISTS. Dr. VAUGHAN, Dvvnsr Pythian Building. Astoria, Oregon. DR. W. G LOQAX DENTIST Commercial 6t SUnaaaa Bnitdiag OSTEOPATHS. BUSINESS DIREOTO&Y. RESTAURANTS. TOKIO RESTAURANT. (31 Bond Street. Opposite Ross, Blgglna & Co. Coffee with Pie ot Cake to Cta, , FIRST-CLASS MEALS. Regular Meals ij Cta. and Up. LAUNDRIES. rHOSJ PLEATED BOSOM SHUTS The kind known by tlmejr man la Ue tummer, are difficult articles to launder sloaly. Unites you know Just bow to so It, the front pleaU wont iron dowa smooth, aad the shirt front will look nuasr Our New Frees tamer boas them without rolling or tretohlng. Try W TfM I .nlln T.IL . - t N Paeo Main 1991. U. S. RESTAURANT. 434 Bond Street MASSAGING. Coffee with Pie or Cake 10 Cta, First Class Meals is Cents, HOTELS. H. B. Parker, Proprietor ' E. P. Parker, Manager PARKER HOUSE EUROPEAN PLAN , DR. RHODA C. KICKS OSTEOPATH Office Kanseb Bid. Phone Black IMk (7t Commercial 8U Astoria, Ore. BOUSE MOVERS. FREDRICK SON BROS We make a rpeeialty of house moving, carpenters, eontractore, general jobbing: prompt at tention to all orders. Corner Tenth and Duaac TRANSPORTATION. PASSENGERS. FREIGHT The K" Line nw 7?- VjTit' T?ip5 "''1 Steamer - Lurline Night Boat for Portland and Way Landings. Leares Astoria daily except Sunday at 7 p.m. Fint-claaa In Every Respect Free Coach to the House. Bar and Billiard Room. Good Check Restaurant Good Sample Rooms on the Grand Floor for Commercial Men. ASTORIA, OREGON. NORTHERN HOTEL Astoria's Newest and Best Hotel Eleventh and Duaae Streets. Rooms, Single or en Suite, Steam Heated, Baths, Running Water in Every Room. Rates, Wo to HJOj Spaclal'by Week Phone Main 3911. MRS. J. COLLINS, Menage HOTEL PORTLAND Finest Hotel in the Northwest PORTLAND, ORE. European Plan Only. H. C. BOWERS, Manager. MESSENGER SERVICE. Hasty Messenger Co. 433 Commercial St. Leans Portland Daily except Sunday at 7 a. m. Quick Service Excellent Meah v Good Bertha. Landing Astoria Flavel Wharf. Landing Portland Foot Tayler St O. B. BLESSING, Arent Phone Main j6t. CANADIAN PACIF.IC EMPRESS" Lino of the Atlantic The Empresses sail from Quebec to Liverpool: two days on the maies- tic St. Lawrence and less than four das at sea; fast and luxurious. Write for summer sailing lists, rates and in formation. James Finlayson, Agent, Astoria, Or. F. I. DUNBAR 307 Astoria Savings Bank Building, INVESTMENTS Loans, Bonds, County and City Warrants. Agent State Land , Board for Investment Funds Insurance Resident Agent Globe & Rutgers' Fire Insurance Co., of New York. NIGHT OR DAY SERVICE. Phone Mala 3721. BOAT BUILDER. T, U Driscoir i Boatbuilding and Hepar ins' a Specialty. 22 nd t ad Exchange street. j MEDICAL. Unprecedented Suoceisea of iCJEEi THE GREAT CHINESE DOCTOR fV Who ' is known i.csvr. -tnroutfiiont the united States on account of 1 h 1 mi teKMa wonderful sum No poisons or drugs used. He guaran tees to euro catarrh, asthma, lung and throat trouble, rheumatism, nervousness, stomach, liver and kidney, female com plaints and all ohronio diseases. '"T " SUCCESSFUL HOME TREATMENT. If you cannot call write for symptom blank and circular, inolosing 4 oenta is stamps. THE C. GEE W0 MEDICINE CO. 1021 First St., Corner Morrison, PORTLAND, OREGON. Please mention tha Astorian. hillM'a,aatBSseae''4f Massaging N ALL ITS BRANCHES j WARM baths if necessary thorough oompe teney la assured. MRS. M. HEYN0, 87 W. Bond Stmt. Astoria. mm Fs Market 77 Ninth St., near Uotul Fresh and Salted Fish. Game and Poultry, Groceries, Produce and Fruit Imported and Domestic Goods. P. Bakotitch & Feo, Proprs. Phone Red 2183 UNDERTAKERS. J. A. GILltAUCill & CO., Undertaker and Emlinliiiero. Experienced I.ndy AMNlstmit When DfiNlreri. CallH Promptly Attended Day or Night. Tatton Ildar. 12th and DuaneSta A8TOIUA. OIIE.UON Phono Alain 2111 MONTGOMERY PLUMBERS. J. PLUMBER Heating Contractor, Tinner r AND Sheet Iron Worker ALL WORK GUARANTEED 4S Bond Street. Eagle Concert Hall (320 Aetor St) Rooms for rent bv tha da v. weak, aa month. Best, rates in town. P- A. PETERSO.-'. Pre. v0Md,, 'eo years' VVT EXPERIENCE . :.v m. ' . V , I RACK MAHKS1 'rf1, Common tc. AflTonn snalng a Utrh mid doiorliitlnn mT qiilnklr Moortiilii our nplulon Irut wUlliur nil 'nranllrm I. urnhnhlr titiLniii tiin. rviti,m,,..i. llmiMirlctlirooiiiidmitfiil. HANDBOOK on I'mmita oiit froo, OMfwt aunnor for nooiiniiK nntoiit, I(itnti i taken tfiruli Mn mi ft Co. ruuutrf nyrMi wbKi, vriMMHib vnnrua, in 1110 V" ""V9vwt "'"fun yi ill rug, m U j, ScetttiHc Emttkm: A feMilfninlr lllnwtnKMf wwhlf, Tdinrmit fH dl ALIOtt nf mtlV flnlnritllli InnrnatL niitm ma Branch Offlce. t T Wnibliimon. D.C, l