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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 24, 1908)
I FRIDAY, JANUARY 24, 1908. THE MORNING ASTOMAN, ASTORIA. OREGON. (to tlhtt I "y. Story 0 I 5 .uriit tflfld l.u All... f T A e6fteftefteAAore6e&aAretir6e WEN HARD int lu room 30 of Uie Hard block. Ho called the place lit ottle ntul blmsalf t real exliite aifent, but It til no secret la (lie city thut tlia only real state he bad time to attend to u bl owo and tbat bl caller were people who ca in to ask favors, not to leave fee, It was the afternoon before Christ ina, and the dull December auo abone la at the window and fell on Hard tretcbed out to a biff leather padded armchair beakl the table. Ho win man noarlnjf middle life. Ilia dark bolr wa plentifully atreakod With gray, while bla forehead had fall en Into heavy line, which gave bla fact wbea In repose an expression of HI nature that belled a dtsixjsltlou sin gularly generous and open. Ilia handa were crowded Into tit pocket. "If 191 r US BT1M. OAEKD OUT Of TU WINDOW. Where they bave beea for the greater part of the week," be aald crrlmly to Yeman. friend and neighboring lawyer, who aat on the table and swung one foot. Yemnua laughed. "A, fellow hna to pay dearly the dnya, Hard, for being rich. Btlll, 1 ahouldo't object to pay ing the price myelf.M An odd cxprotmlon crossed Hard' face. He drew blmnelf up and, clasp Ing bl hand behind bla bead, looked fixedly out of the wludow. "Cheer up, old man." aald Yetnaua, till loughlug. "Your money bring you a aort of fame. I don't believe there- ha been a fair, charity show, festival, pauper' death, failure or any other public event In this towu for year but what Owen 8. ITard ba been called on to pull aome one or something out of a hole, and be al ways doea It, too," added Yeman heartily. .. . . Hard did not smile. llestlll gated out of the window. "Would you be lieve, xemans, mat tor -ten year i hnv navnr" He liidtlenlv checked bl speech and then apoke aa though to himself. "If I were a society man, probably I'd receive aoft pillows and such trah, but" lemana started. "What on eartb are you driving at J" "Nothing, nothing," exclaimed Hard Impatiently. "I'm only stupidly think Ing aloud." He shook himself, arose and began pacing the floor with his arms folded behind him. Yomans wblBtlcd a bit , and slid off the table. lie yawned and picked up bla bat "I say, here' a pun. Ifa bard luck to be rich, but It's al ways been Hard' luck. Thcrel A merry Christina to you, old fellow." And Yeman left, slamming the door beblnd blra. Hard dropped Into bis big chair again and ran bis flngors through bl heavy hair. In the hall were merry calls, the shutting o! office doors and . the general stir of an early closing up jiof business to which the owner of the I block paid no attention. He leaned hi elbow on the table and thought, while bla forehead fell Into Its heaviest lluo. Presently there wa a stir outside his door, followed by a faint rap. "Come," be shouted, but, evidently the holse drowned his voice. Tbe knock was re peated. Ho arose and rather ungra ciously opened the door., Before him stood a queer combina tion. It did not , take up much room either In height or breadth. , Had It been twice as tall hi eyes could btve looked over It at Yemans just stepping Into the elevator, Yemans was laugh ing and thrusting hi bands algnlflcant 1 Into his pockets. ' The elevator boy was grinning. The dentist, locking bis door, was chuckling and winking at a doctor. ringing for the ascending ele- TSton V;v,r-4,t-".. .!'' in-- : 'i Then Hard, half weary, half affable, and wholly amused, said, "Come In." ; The combination entered. It consist ed of a morsel of a boy, pulling after htas a jisaU red exores wagon wfolch wis Alloa" ii o'verflSwllig with some thing earsfuUy covered with old bedqullt At the taU of the cart were two-upright (ticks, frtan which was draped a piece of thin black cloth pinned to the bedqullt halfway down the curt. Hurd surveyed the procelon as II crossed the floor. "He Is got up re gardless of bis feeling for the purpose of appealing to mine," was bis thought as bis bund Involuntarily wandered to his pocket : ' , ' . Tb boy pulled the rattling erpres cart scroti the soft rug to tbe desk and laid tbe tonguo down carefully. "I'm ltobert Allison Droxley," be au nouueed, working bla bat loose from bis bead and bowing gravely, V Hard returned the bow and followed In the wake of tbe cart, feeling rather superfluous aa a boat "I am glad to meet you, ltobert Allison Droxley," be said solemnly. "I am Owen 8. Hard." The child regarded blm steadily wltr great black eyes set In dark ring which extended low on bis cheeks. The face ought to have been the face of mere baby bad not responsibility claim ed Its pwner early and made of blm a premature man. "I knew who you was," Robert All! son Uroxley said calmly, His fact looked troubled, and Hard detected suspicion of tear around the long black lashes and a quiver In the chin for which ho could not account Rob ert's next word, however, confirmed blm In the Idea which bad led bli bnod to hi pocket "You ore rich, ain't your the Uttlt chap asked, laying hold of the black cloth at tbe tull of the cart (la asked In a queer voice which seemed to In vlte denial, "Most people tske It for granted thai I am," answered Hard dryly. Robert did not understand the bid den meaning. His face fell, and b struggled with some emotion which caused him to draw hi coat sleov across bl eye. "Then nobody don't give you nothing for a present doe they?" he asked. Hard looked at the boy curiously and said what be bad interrupted him self In saying to Yemans a few mo menta before. "No, Roliert; no one boi made me a present In tea years." "I's sorry for you," muttered Robert, and his hand again Bought tbe black cloth. He rained one corner and peer ed under. Tbe sight evidently madt blm still more unwilling to uncover tlx cart, 'i'e sorry for you," be repeated holding down the corner of the cloth "Won't you git a sack of flour oi clothes or broth or fruit or shoes oi nothing tomorrow from nobody V anx loUNly. V "No, Robert," said Hard solemnly. 'Trobnbly no one will give me a aln gtoglft" "You must have an awful bad time, sighed Robert "Well, I don't have a very good time always on Cbrlntmas day," agreed Hard. "Do your. Tbe child brightened. "Oh, yes 'cause evoryliody Is so good and glvet us lots and lots of things." "I never have." haxarded Hard, "and I am somebody." Robert looked up, bis eyes growing wider. "Why, you know you've been the goodent of all. That's why" He glanced at the cart and checked him self.. "You give ray papa a fun'ral, a very nice fun'ral, too," cheerfully, "and you sent us a hen for tomorrow. There' better plckln' on a rooster, you know, but the ben is very nice and fat, most as big aa that rooster you sent on TbankNglvlu' day. Hain't you no hens left for yourself r anxiously. "Funerals, hen," repeated nard musingly. He bad given so many fu nerals ami hens on, request that one more or Ions made no Impression on him. "Pglvo it np, little man. You have tbe better of me. You seem to know more of what I do than I re member myself, so we will change tbe subject. What have you there r point ing to the cart. v Robert hesitated and winked fast "1 brought sometblng-that Is, I got some thing to give you a lift." "A lift?" repeated Hard, mystified.. Robert nodded and removed the. black cloth gingerly, saying apologetic ally at tbo same time, "You see, you dasscnt lot the un op to tbetr eye ever," and revealed to Hard' astonish, ed gnce two tiny dimpled face crown ed with yellow silky hair. Two heads sleepily moved and two pairs of deep blue eyes half opened. "Twins!" ejaculated Hard. He leaned over the children and projected a fin ger at the one nearest htm. The baby closed her soft finger around It and looked up with an engaging display of smiles and dimples. ', "Two twins," corrected Robert "That's her," pointing to the on clinging to Hard, "and this Is blm. Yours Is half." At this point Robert gave a decided sniff and reached for his old hat. Out of the crown be drew an unhemmed rag and applied the same to bis noee. . "Mine? Half of what?" asked thi astonished Hard. ; "Half Of these." Robert leaned ovei the twins, and his voice choked. "You may have him," touching the baby boy, "or her," touching the baby girl 'but I guess niebby, you. better tnkt him and leave me ber 'less, you want her awful bad. It's a lift to you." .. I "Oh, ' I see-a gift!" and Hard sal idown weakly besldo his gift Then was a queer expression about his eyes p leaned over and, resting bla elbow bn bla knees and his bead In his hand, Was silent for a moment "Her" car jrled his finger to her mouth and began to suck It with apparent relish and many little gurglings. . .n ','Wbnt would your mother say If ,,' kept half the twins ?", he asked aji "Of course she'd mebby be sorry, bu! they don't belong to ber. They'ri mine." "Not hers r echoed Hard. "Nope," smothering a sob. "Tbcy'i every bit of 'em mine. Mamma novei had 'em 'caiixe first they wa pnpa's and just before you give blm a fun'r globe. Yon know what tb peanut Is, of couraer "Yep." "They are eaten baked, and they are oaten raw. Tbey are eaten on the street and In tbe bouse. Tbey art eat n at ward caucuses and at marriages and funerals. Doctors have. always said tbey were a good thing, but bow good no one knew until I compounded a tonle of them. My dear sir, I can prove to you that one bottle of tbe ton to has tbe same nutrition as a whole carcass of fresh beef." "Ose whls!" f "It strengthens mors than a barrel of wine." I By thunderP ' "It will maka man or woman put on flrs pounds of fat per week." You don't ssyr "The doctors and the hospitals will throw aside every other tonje and ac cept mine. What does Lillian Russell say Hbe weighed 18S pounds before taking tbe peanut tonic and was sup posed to be going Into a decline. In two week sbs weighed 210 pounds and wss looking around for the ax to chop wood. What ha kept the two senator from New York state alive for the last month 1 What bos braced Sen ator Poraker up anew! Why has the ctaf of Russia ceased to talk of resign ing? Wby Is tb Chicago beef trust trembling in tts shoes? I tell you, sir, wt bsve the grandest thing on the face of this green eartb, and If you don't toake 110,000,000 out of It In three year I'll tie disappointed In you. Aa I aald, I want you for treasurer." "And, by gum, you can have men , Uncle Reuben' Salary. "That" right That s the way I Uk to hear a man speak up. Yoar salary for the first year, while we are getting under way, will only be a hundred thousand dollars, but after that It may go to half a million. All you'll have to do Is to count the money as It comes tn and goes out and be careful that you don't pay out any thousand dollar bill for hundreds." lay, It's great; If s great!" whisper ed Uncle Reuben as be walked around and robbed bis hands together. "It 1 greater than great" added th major a he also walked. "You may want to know where we shall get out peanuts from. Not from the American trust you can bet I have leased 6,000, 000 acres of the great Bebars, desert to grow them on.' Fifty bushels to tbe acre, and that makes 260,000,000 bushels of peanuts. We shall have our own bottle factories and raise our corks," "Lord, what a bead you have got on your "Kings, emperors, czars, presidents, dictators, lords, dukes, barons, counts, opera singers and actresses to adver tise us, and behind them all the doc tors come trailing In; also all tbe news papers. Can you beat It? Can you match Major Crofootr "Shake bands, major," said ; Uncle Reuben as be held out bis paw. "And can you go to work on Mon. dayr queried tbe promoter after shak ing. "I'll be on band or perish." -"Very well. You may Indorse that check and leave It with me as security that you will show up. It's a mere formality, you know. Turn tbe cbecV over and write your name there." "And 111 make-make"- -"You'll have 15,000,000 In the bank before another buckwheat crop Is oft And now, as this Is my busy day" "I'll take a skate and show up Mon day morning." I The major sat down and pressed bis hands to his thumping heart and long ed for a doso of brandy. He gave Un cle Reuben ten minutes to get out of the neighborhood and then wrote bis own name on tbe check and went over to the bank and shoved It at the pay ing teller in a careless way. "Good only for paper rags," said tbe teller as be shoved It back, with a grin. Uncle Reuben was on top. He had soaked tbe man who was seeking to soak blm. - M. QUAD. 8trong In Death. Towns Well, Hussel 1 gone, poor fellow! He Just worked bimself to death. He waa always In such a hurry! Browne Yes, and tbey say be was out of breath wben be died. Philadel phia Press. Don't Talcs the Risk. When you have a bad cough or cold do not let it drag along until it become chronic bronchitis or develops into an attack of pneumonia, but give it tb attention it deserves and get rid of it Take Chamberlain' Cough Remedy and you are sure of prompt relief. From a email beginning the sale and ni of thi preparation ha extended to U parts of the United btstes and to many foreign countries. . Its many remarkable cure of cough and cold have won for it this wide reputation and extensive use. Sold by Frank Hart and leading druggUU. r tarn Shoulder Cured, ' Lame boulder is usually earned by rheumatism of tb muscles snd quickly yield to a few applications of Chamber lain' Pain Balm. Mr. P. H. McKlwee, of Boiatown, New Brunswick, writesi "Having been troubled for om time with a pain In my left ihoulder, I de cided to give Chamberlain' Fain Balm a trial, with the reault tbat I got prompt relief." For sal by Frank Hart and uA ing drnggtst. v..?. s" 1 , IS GDUIH: COTKES9 Coughs,Colds, CROUF. VhoopingCou! Tbii remedy cm ttwtys fet dtpeadt sssa mi b Blusant t take. ItcouUsiM plaar ether harmful droj and stay be ghrea acttA- t a taby as to as moil Ice 25 cents, larjt sac se ctsts. I HIM , esav 4 . 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