I
FRIDAY, JANUARY 24, 1908.
THE MORNING ASTOMAN, ASTORIA. OREGON.
(to tlhtt I "y.
Story
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e6fteftefteAAore6e&aAretir6e
WEN HARD int lu room 30 of
Uie Hard block. Ho called the
place lit ottle ntul blmsalf t
real exliite aifent, but It til
no secret la (lie city thut tlia only real
state he bad time to attend to u bl
owo and tbat bl caller were people
who ca in to ask favors, not to leave
fee,
It was the afternoon before Christ
ina, and the dull December auo abone
la at the window and fell on Hard
tretcbed out to a biff leather padded
armchair beakl the table.
Ho win man noarlnjf middle life.
Ilia dark bolr wa plentifully atreakod
With gray, while bla forehead had fall
en Into heavy line, which gave bla
fact wbea In repose an expression of
HI nature that belled a dtsixjsltlou sin
gularly generous and open. Ilia handa
were crowded Into tit pocket. "If
191
r
US BT1M. OAEKD OUT Of TU WINDOW.
Where they bave beea for the greater
part of the week," be aald crrlmly to
Yeman. friend and neighboring
lawyer, who aat on the table and
swung one foot.
Yemnua laughed. "A, fellow hna to
pay dearly the dnya, Hard, for being
rich. Btlll, 1 ahouldo't object to pay
ing the price myelf.M
An odd cxprotmlon crossed Hard'
face. He drew blmnelf up and, clasp
Ing bl hand behind bla bead, looked
fixedly out of the wludow.
"Cheer up, old man." aald Yetnaua,
till loughlug. "Your money bring
you a aort of fame. I don't believe
there- ha been a fair, charity show,
festival, pauper' death, failure or any
other public event In this towu for
year but what Owen 8. ITard ba
been called on to pull aome one or
something out of a hole, and be al
ways doea It, too," added Yeman
heartily. .. . .
Hard did not smile. llestlll gated
out of the window. "Would you be
lieve, xemans, mat tor -ten year i
hnv navnr" He liidtlenlv checked bl
speech and then apoke aa though to
himself. "If I were a society man,
probably I'd receive aoft pillows and
such trah, but"
lemana started. "What on eartb are
you driving at J"
"Nothing, nothing," exclaimed Hard
Impatiently. "I'm only stupidly think
Ing aloud."
He shook himself, arose and began
pacing the floor with his arms folded
behind him. Yomans wblBtlcd a bit
, and slid off the table. lie yawned and
picked up bla bat "I say, here' a pun.
Ifa bard luck to be rich, but It's al
ways been Hard' luck. Thcrel A
merry Christina to you, old fellow."
And Yeman left, slamming the door
beblnd blra.
Hard dropped Into bis big chair
again and ran bis flngors through bl
heavy hair. In the hall were merry
calls, the shutting o! office doors and
. the general stir of an early closing up
jiof business to which the owner of the
I block paid no attention. He leaned hi
elbow on the table and thought, while
bla forehead fell Into Its heaviest lluo.
Presently there wa a stir outside his
door, followed by a faint rap. "Come,"
be shouted, but, evidently the holse
drowned his voice. Tbe knock was re
peated. Ho arose and rather ungra
ciously opened the door.,
Before him stood a queer combina
tion. It did not , take up much room
either In height or breadth. , Had It
been twice as tall hi eyes could btve
looked over It at Yemans just stepping
Into the elevator, Yemans was laugh
ing and thrusting hi bands algnlflcant
1 Into his pockets. ' The elevator boy
was grinning. The dentist, locking bis
door, was chuckling and winking at a
doctor. ringing for the ascending ele-
TSton V;v,r-4,t-".. .!'' in-- : 'i
Then Hard, half weary, half affable,
and wholly amused, said, "Come In."
; The combination entered. It consist
ed of a morsel of a boy, pulling after
htas a jisaU red exores wagon wfolch
wis Alloa" ii o'verflSwllig with some
thing earsfuUy covered with old
bedqullt At the taU of the cart were
two-upright (ticks, frtan which was
draped a piece of thin black cloth
pinned to the bedqullt halfway down
the curt.
Hurd surveyed the procelon as II
crossed the floor. "He Is got up re
gardless of bis feeling for the purpose
of appealing to mine," was bis thought
as bis bund Involuntarily wandered to
his pocket : ' , ' .
Tb boy pulled the rattling erpres
cart scroti the soft rug to tbe desk
and laid tbe tonguo down carefully.
"I'm ltobert Allison Droxley," be au
nouueed, working bla bat loose from
bis bead and bowing gravely, V
Hard returned the bow and followed
In the wake of tbe cart, feeling rather
superfluous aa a boat "I am glad to
meet you, ltobert Allison Droxley," be
said solemnly. "I am Owen 8. Hard."
The child regarded blm steadily wltr
great black eyes set In dark ring
which extended low on bis cheeks. The
face ought to have been the face of
mere baby bad not responsibility claim
ed Its pwner early and made of blm a
premature man.
"I knew who you was," Robert All!
son Uroxley said calmly, His fact
looked troubled, and Hard detected
suspicion of tear around the long
black lashes and a quiver In the chin
for which ho could not account Rob
ert's next word, however, confirmed
blm In the Idea which bad led bli
bnod to hi pocket
"You ore rich, ain't your the Uttlt
chap asked, laying hold of the black
cloth at tbe tull of the cart (la asked
In a queer voice which seemed to In
vlte denial,
"Most people tske It for granted thai
I am," answered Hard dryly.
Robert did not understand the bid
den meaning. His face fell, and b
struggled with some emotion which
caused him to draw hi coat sleov
across bl eye. "Then nobody don't
give you nothing for a present doe
they?" he asked.
Hard looked at the boy curiously
and said what be bad interrupted him
self In saying to Yemans a few mo
menta before. "No, Roliert; no one boi
made me a present In tea years."
"I's sorry for you," muttered Robert,
and his hand again Bought tbe black
cloth. He rained one corner and peer
ed under. Tbe sight evidently madt
blm still more unwilling to uncover tlx
cart, 'i'e sorry for you," be repeated
holding down the corner of the cloth
"Won't you git a sack of flour oi
clothes or broth or fruit or shoes oi
nothing tomorrow from nobody V anx
loUNly. V
"No, Robert," said Hard solemnly.
'Trobnbly no one will give me a aln
gtoglft"
"You must have an awful bad time,
sighed Robert
"Well, I don't have a very good time
always on Cbrlntmas day," agreed
Hard. "Do your.
Tbe child brightened. "Oh, yes
'cause evoryliody Is so good and glvet
us lots and lots of things."
"I never have." haxarded Hard, "and
I am somebody."
Robert looked up, bis eyes growing
wider. "Why, you know you've been
the goodent of all. That's why" He
glanced at the cart and checked him
self.. "You give ray papa a fun'ral, a
very nice fun'ral, too," cheerfully, "and
you sent us a hen for tomorrow.
There' better plckln' on a rooster, you
know, but the ben is very nice and fat,
most as big aa that rooster you sent on
TbankNglvlu' day. Hain't you no hens
left for yourself r anxiously.
"Funerals, hen," repeated nard
musingly. He bad given so many fu
nerals ami hens on, request that one
more or Ions made no Impression on
him. "Pglvo it np, little man. You
have tbe better of me. You seem to
know more of what I do than I re
member myself, so we will change tbe
subject. What have you there r point
ing to the cart.
v Robert hesitated and winked fast "1
brought sometblng-that Is, I got some
thing to give you a lift."
"A lift?" repeated Hard, mystified..
Robert nodded and removed the.
black cloth gingerly, saying apologetic
ally at tbo same time, "You see, you
dasscnt lot the un op to tbetr eye
ever," and revealed to Hard' astonish,
ed gnce two tiny dimpled face crown
ed with yellow silky hair. Two heads
sleepily moved and two pairs of deep
blue eyes half opened.
"Twins!" ejaculated Hard. He leaned
over the children and projected a fin
ger at the one nearest htm. The baby
closed her soft finger around It and
looked up with an engaging display of
smiles and dimples. ',
"Two twins," corrected Robert
"That's her," pointing to the on
clinging to Hard, "and this Is blm.
Yours Is half."
At this point Robert gave a decided
sniff and reached for his old hat. Out
of the crown be drew an unhemmed
rag and applied the same to bis noee.
. "Mine? Half of what?" asked thi
astonished Hard.
; "Half Of these." Robert leaned ovei
the twins, and his voice choked. "You
may have him," touching the baby
boy, "or her," touching the baby girl
'but I guess niebby, you. better tnkt
him and leave me ber 'less, you want
her awful bad. It's a lift to you." ..
I "Oh, ' I see-a gift!" and Hard sal
idown weakly besldo his gift Then
was a queer expression about his eyes
p leaned over and, resting bla elbow
bn bla knees and his bead In his hand,
Was silent for a moment "Her" car
jrled his finger to her mouth and began
to suck It with apparent relish and
many little gurglings. . .n
','Wbnt would your mother say If ,,'
kept half the twins ?", he asked aji
"Of course she'd mebby be sorry, bu!
they don't belong to ber. They'ri
mine."
"Not hers r echoed Hard.
"Nope," smothering a sob. "Tbcy'i
every bit of 'em mine. Mamma novei
had 'em 'caiixe first they wa pnpa's
and just before you give blm a fun'r
globe. Yon know what tb peanut Is,
of couraer
"Yep."
"They are eaten baked, and they are
oaten raw. Tbey are eaten on the
street and In tbe bouse. Tbey art eat
n at ward caucuses and at marriages
and funerals. Doctors have. always
said tbey were a good thing, but bow
good no one knew until I compounded
a tonle of them. My dear sir, I can
prove to you that one bottle of tbe ton
to has tbe same nutrition as a whole
carcass of fresh beef."
"Ose whls!" f
"It strengthens mors than a barrel of
wine." I
By thunderP '
"It will maka man or woman put on
flrs pounds of fat per week."
You don't ssyr
"The doctors and the hospitals will
throw aside every other tonje and ac
cept mine. What does Lillian Russell
say Hbe weighed 18S pounds before
taking tbe peanut tonic and was sup
posed to be going Into a decline. In
two week sbs weighed 210 pounds
and wss looking around for the ax to
chop wood. What ha kept the two
senator from New York state alive for
the last month 1 What bos braced Sen
ator Poraker up anew! Why has the
ctaf of Russia ceased to talk of resign
ing? Wby Is tb Chicago beef trust
trembling in tts shoes? I tell you, sir,
wt bsve the grandest thing on the face
of this green eartb, and If you don't
toake 110,000,000 out of It In three
year I'll tie disappointed In you. Aa
I aald, I want you for treasurer."
"And, by gum, you can have men ,
Uncle Reuben' Salary.
"That" right That s the way I Uk
to hear a man speak up. Yoar salary
for the first year, while we are getting
under way, will only be a hundred
thousand dollars, but after that It may
go to half a million. All you'll have
to do Is to count the money as It comes
tn and goes out and be careful that you
don't pay out any thousand dollar bill
for hundreds."
lay, It's great; If s great!" whisper
ed Uncle Reuben as be walked around
and robbed bis hands together.
"It 1 greater than great" added th
major a he also walked. "You may
want to know where we shall get out
peanuts from. Not from the American
trust you can bet I have leased 6,000,
000 acres of the great Bebars, desert
to grow them on.' Fifty bushels to
tbe acre, and that makes 260,000,000
bushels of peanuts. We shall have our
own bottle factories and raise our
corks,"
"Lord, what a bead you have got on
your
"Kings, emperors, czars, presidents,
dictators, lords, dukes, barons, counts,
opera singers and actresses to adver
tise us, and behind them all the doc
tors come trailing In; also all tbe news
papers. Can you beat It? Can you
match Major Crofootr
"Shake bands, major," said ; Uncle
Reuben as be held out bis paw.
"And can you go to work on Mon.
dayr queried tbe promoter after shak
ing. "I'll be on band or perish." -"Very
well. You may Indorse that
check and leave It with me as security
that you will show up. It's a mere
formality, you know. Turn tbe cbecV
over and write your name there."
"And 111 make-make"- -"You'll
have 15,000,000 In the bank
before another buckwheat crop Is oft
And now, as this Is my busy day"
"I'll take a skate and show up Mon
day morning."
I The major sat down and pressed bis
hands to his thumping heart and long
ed for a doso of brandy. He gave Un
cle Reuben ten minutes to get out of
the neighborhood and then wrote bis
own name on tbe check and went over
to the bank and shoved It at the pay
ing teller in a careless way.
"Good only for paper rags," said tbe
teller as be shoved It back, with a grin.
Uncle Reuben was on top. He had
soaked tbe man who was seeking to
soak blm. - M. QUAD.
8trong In Death.
Towns Well, Hussel 1 gone, poor
fellow! He Just worked bimself to
death. He waa always In such a
hurry!
Browne Yes, and tbey say be was
out of breath wben be died. Philadel
phia Press.
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