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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (July 21, 1906)
Iiiilirn 'itMHiimni li-r-T SATURDAY, JULY at, 1904. THE HORNING ASTOMAN, . ASTORIA, OREGON. 8 1 . . bowser Wants Chicken Harm He FigureiQui There', Millions to 'Be Had In Rawing - . Poultry. , , WIFE SHATTERS IDEA Shows Him He Cnnot Mk Money by Following Out Plan Outlined to Her Start Trouble, ' lCopyrlhUtW,byKnn rrcll.) , Instead of sitting down to his paper bui elgnr after dlnuer, as 1. Mr, How r usunl programme, die paced up Hil clown the ulttlng room with bis bands behind his back and hi fore head wrinkled with some mental put tie, When ho linil wasted fifteen mln-ou-s at thlt Ma Bowser asked: , "Ha anything gone wrong with your business affairs today?' "No," he mll4 m he paused. "Thro what bothers your "I wont to talk to you about a mut ter, and If you cn possibly do no 1 wUli you'd talk straight aud sensible. I mesn by thnt that I don't want any aarcssm or giggling." , 'Well, I'll try niy best" , . "Thro I want to talk about l chicken farm, 1 know w canvassed the ub- 1 II, III,. Im-TT rrrnio on nrs rniinn. ject befor, but I wa not as wall post ed on th matter a I am now. I bar been going Into the matter very thor oughly for th pant week," - "I will help you all 1 cia," said Mr. Bowser a she took down pmiell nod pad and prepared to make notes. "I am getting along In yean, Mr. Bowser, and the day la not far dlatant when the dally grind la going to bo too much for me. By that time I want to be so altunted that I can take things e asy-slt on the reranda and boaa and let other men do the work.", . . , "1 am In accord with your Idea. What are your planar run Cnteti. rru "To run a chicken farm. I tell you, Mra. Bowser, there's a gold mine in It l am aniased that Rockefeller , don't drop Standard Oil and Armour let go of beef and private cam and go into chicken raising. I have figure to prove beyond a doubt that It discount the South African diamond fields." "Then you shall have my hearty co operation., I'll work with you In every ,way to make a succoaa of It" "That's the talk!" exclaimed Mr. Dowser as he waved his arm around his head. "Now you are speaking like a true wife and helpmeet, and I'm proud of you. Now, we'll take It easily and quietly, and I'll show you aome wonderful figures. I start In with 000 hens, divided between Early Rose and Maiden's Mush. Those are the best layers In the world; they'll go out and lay eggs In a snowdrift" "I thought Early Rose was the name of a potato and thnt Maiden's Blush was the name of an apple," said Mrs. Bowser. . . . - "Don't begin to enrp and cavil at the very outset .1 shall start out with COO bens. This Is exclusive of roosters. There aro hong that lay every day In the week and others that only lay ev ery other day. You can figure on at. least BOO eggs every day In the year. That's about 1,028 dozen. At 20 cents the dozen we have an Income of about $34 per day. That, pgnln, Is 12,f00 per year. Any objections to raking In thnt tidy little sum every year for the rest of your life, Mrs. Bowser?" " "Not the. slightest Go on," naturei Oat ProSt. .. "We have .figured on the cggs.oply. Among rf thousand hens , there ought to be at least 000 that would Set twice a year and bring forth twelve chicks at each sitting, That's over 7,000 chicks a year. Flgurs It at the lowest pos sible notch, and the Income Is $3,600. Unit's $10,000 a year altogether, and as you've nothing to do but gather and, market the eggs and Increase V& like to know what more a reasonable being could nsk for. , . increase the number of chicken to J.000 and you Increase your Income to KI2.000. I think I s'iiU.stop .at 2.000. iV sevoraf nundreif rooster crowlng'at one In thtf small hour of the morn ing might disturb soms sick person. We'll also cut $2,000 a year off for ao oiuruvt ana place the Income at 3o 000." "Where did you get your fiiure from, Mr. Bowser?", asked Mr. Bow ir li b I .rubbing hi bands to gether and beaming at the cat. "From a, man light In the chicken business." ' "And doe be waut to tell out?" , "Yes. Ill mother-in-law ha com to live with hlin, and she hate chick ens. She wont out with a pall of bolt ing water the other morning and scald ed thirty of them. II ha either got to break bur neck or give up the chick en, and a ha Is a man without much backbone lie has decided to fell out I'm to give hlui an answer tomorrow. He'll sell wo the farm for $8,000 and the 000 chicken be has for $300. Then I go ahead and buy 400 more, and it' all . clear ; tailing, Thnt' the plan. What do you think of It t" ;" . "You read your paper for a few min ute and let tu do some figuring," she replied. "But what figuring is there to. do?" "You wlU sec. Of courso there ar always two sides to a plan." "There can't be to this. It's the plain est proposition ever stated. However, go ahead and figure. You may mdke the Income $5,000 higher than I do." Mrs. Bowser worked away for ten minutes and then said: ' "You will pay $8,000 for the farm, $,100 for the chickens on hand and $300 for enough additional to make op your thousand, The new coops and runway will cost, say. $200; our re moval, $100, and the taxes at least $75 per year. A horse and wagon will cost yon $-'100, your help at least $000 and the feed for l.tKK) ben cannot be less than $1,000. Our household expenses, with two men to board, cannot be les than $1,000. Here is an outgo of al most $1.1,000 for the first year, and you must figure Interest on over 111,000 of it We will add $550 for that" "Heavens, but baa the woman gone crazy?" gasped Mr, Bowser as be, look ed st the cat, lloae Weal Hoi Imr, "If you get 250 eggs per day th year through from 1.000 bens you will be in luck," ah continued, "If w place the price at 20 cents a down, which Is high, you will receive about $l,5oo. At for the sale of chickens, you can't figure on over 200. This number at an aver age of 80 cents each will give you $100. You will be sure to lose from fifty to a hundred of your bens per year and bav to renew, but we'll say nothing about that You bav an outgo th first year of about $13,000 and an Income of about $1,600. The second year you bav" n ,,. "I bar nothing!" shouted Mr. Bow ser, with hi face the color of red paint "Woman. I knew bow It would bel By the living Jingo, but why cant I keep from making a fool of myself r "Th second year your Incom will be about a third of your expenses. You may, by sitting on the veranda and smoking Parte gas and fanning yourself with a palm leaf, finally get It down to onebalf, but you cannot expect to do better. In other word" "Btopt I will hear no morel" "But you don't want to alt on the veranda and amok and fan at a loss of three or four thousand dollar ' a year, do your abe protested. Laaros Hows Is Am ft. - "Never you mind wbat I want X am now going out You needn't alt up for me. If any one calls, tell them that I may not be home for a week. When I do como, I shall bav facts and fig ure to shrivel you up Ilk an old cab bait." . .-, . Mr. Bowser put on his overcoat and bat and started out He wanted evi dence to convict Mr. Bowser of fals statistic, and he wanted sympathy, and b happened to remember that the family cobbler used to run a chicken ranch In the country. He went around to the shop, and after a few remark about the weather be eald: , "Jake, would you advise me to take a chicken formf "Vbaayou thinking of ltr was asked. "Very strongly." - "Den let me adwls aomet'lngs bet ter. Take a Jackass farm." "What do you meanf "If you take a Jackass farm you can be dcr biggest one among 'em." Mr. Bowser couldn't take a man six ty-flve years old by the neck and shake his whlBkers loose, and so He went out, Just as he stepped outdoors a man asked: . , "Can I ask you th way to the Rev George Thompson' church, please?" "You can, but I'll eat you In return!" shouted Mr. Bowser, as Moat Feleo finally burst forth. - . The aucstlouer wo a clergyman him self. He knew asphalt pavement and he knew when to strike a gait With one loud, long cry of "Police!" he start ed, and the three or four watcher of tlio race agreed that at the end of the first block he had gained ten feet on Mr. Bowser and would run him out of sight In three or fonr blocks more. M. QUAD, DANGERS OF DIETING UNOERPf COINQ LIABLE TO WEAKEN HEART'S ACTION. . , Th One Antoer'r.t. Th umpire Is a mighty man; He always has his euy, ' And when he onoo dvclu.s 11 point U ha to bp that way. '. JUthouffh th world with threats iui May contradict him fiat, He triumphs over nil his foes ' V By simply standing put. The statesnmn and thf buatreM non - Toll.' on In proper prW. ! :. j. u' Bvt never know just where thoy statu Until the courts decide. But he, th umpire, headless ot Ambition' or ot pelf.i - . Walks with Imperious stride through A its unto himself. Washington Star. Vesallr Appetite I re ef Health, the Kir. I la ot 111 In a Maj AHlmal U Las Of b I)r For food, rrofessor Alexander Ilnlg, an Eng lish dietary expert, has written from London to the medical fraternity of New York warning Americans against the popular belief that the average man eats too much, Ho says that the Increasing nuniher of deaths from heart failure is largely duo to underfeeding. The notion that science Is a more unerring guide than Is nature Is con stantly guliilng ground. In tlio good old days men drank when they were thirsty and ate of wbutever they wished until their banger was satisfied. Now science condemns such foolishness a primitive, It prescribe one glass of water one hour before meals and one ginss one hour after meals-no more, no less, If you bapttcn not to be thirsty at those times, no mutter, drink that amount anyway. If perchance you are thirsty and would like two glasses you must not yield; It I ouly nature that prompts you, ami nature is an unsafe guide. Or, you may be "abnormally" thirsty at meals; nevertheless do not drink then. , As to our amount of food, we are directed to consume so many grama of the protelds, so many gram of the carbohydrates and .so many gram of fat while we bear learned discourses upon large calorie and the supreme iniDortance of exactly maintaining our nitrogen balance-whatcver that may mean, , I have purposely not mentioned the precise numbers of gram of the differ ent food elements, for the simple rea son that our eminent authorities have not yet agreed upon this Important point All give different figures. Scientists, however, following the htad of Russell II. Chittenden, I'b. D., LL. D., 8c. I., have pretty well agreed that the average man eats twice more than be needs. If half his customary amount of food does not satisfy him it ought to, they say, and It will even tufllly, provided he keeps on suppress ing his natural and therefore nnscien tiflc Instincts. , , But Just here lies a danger. It Is true that one can accustom himself to a much smaller quantity of food than that to which be has been habituated and that eventually be will desire that smaller quantity and no more, but when be attains to tbl condition bis digestive power will have been . re duced by one-half. A a result be win lose from text to thirty pound fa weight; that I to say, his muscle and organs will decrease by so much In bulk and strength. Now, If the heart decrease considerably In strength there will always be danger of It col lapse, particularly If It be subjected to any extra strain, as when on run for a car or rapidly up a flight of steps, Excitement alone maybe fatal to a weak heart . Rigorous dieting to reduce weight Is always dangerous. A better plan Is to work off the superfluous flesh by x erclse. Lack of sleep has a depressing effect on the heart for during sleep cerebral circulation dliftlnlshcs, when the blood can devote Itself to the rest of tb body. . . . ' v ' Eating before going to bed, particu larly If one Is up late, Is a good prac tice, it being most favorable to thor ough body repair that the blood at night be rich In nourishment Accustoming the digestive organ to a small amount of food result in a de cline of appetite, wherea' our object should be to Increase appetite and thereby strengthen our digestive pow ers by Judicious exercise In' the open air or In a well ventilated room. If the doctrine that a small appetite Is preferable to a large .appetite be true-and this Is what "economy in nutrition" teaches then open air ex ercise, which manifestly Increase ap petite, must be Injurious to health. Or why should we exercise to Increase ap petite If we may eat only so much? The notion la wholly absurd. The first sign of Illness In a man or an animal-Is loss of appetite. And usually appetite la a measure of health. ' To build up the heart and muscular system generally we must vigorously exercise tho mWles. It Is not enough that one should stuff himself; It Is all Important that he should desire every morsel he eats, and this he will ,do ouly If he under goes geueral physical and mental ex ercise. Food that Is ingested, and even digested, will be absorbed only by those organs that need It that have been exercised. This fact' explains why many persons that are good "feed ers" are yet inadequately nourished. If they are brnln workers and take no physical exercise their brains absorb what nourishment they need; the rest Is excreted. .. ' ;i': ,; ..- Magnificent as are the results of brain work we must bear In mind that there could be no result without the co-operation of the body, and that the body In Its turn depends primarily on the integrity of Its heart lungs and Stomach.-G. Elliot Flint In New York World, . ' : POINTED PARAGRAPHS. , It is easy to expect others to set good examples. 1 . , When opportunity knock It doesn't us a hammer. 1 A . . H - Despair la the undertaker that carts off our dead hopes. 4 ., , . . OcQaslon.VLv a man rises from noth- KEP THE LIVER CLEAN, Dea'd Overwork It Give It a Reef ' v Oaae la Awblle. A man of common sense and a doc tor at that said: "The liver is misun derstood and underestimated in It functions. If H can In kept clean and active there Is no reason why we should ever be III a day, and we should live to be 150 or 200 years old. It Is not necessary to rip this organ all to pieces with ten grains of calomel to get it stirred up. The best thing to do Is to shut off your food supply for two or three days, drop your whisky and claret your tea and coffee, and give your liver a chance to rest, This should be done once a month." It Is well known, of course, that in olden times the liver wa supposed to bo the seat of the affections, menu when they met In the morning did not salute citcju other wiui "tiows your healthr but with "How your llverY Men take horseback exercise principal tv tut their livers. A itood shaking up every morning drives away the clrrbo- tiebl arv encroachment. It is an error to assume that whisky alone produces cirrhosis. Overfeeding is more orten the cause. If the digestive organs would organize a union and work ouly eight hours a day all of us would be healthy and long lived. The trouble Is we require the liver, stomach, bowels, heart brain, muscles, nerves, kidneys, anlecn. etc., to work all. the time ana overtime. Wrong. Glvtf them a rest- New York I'ress. fSBUBBBSsBB I Mating Carelessly 1 frequently camcs stomach troubles, but cartful eating will never right them. When your stomach is out o( condition, it need help that no lood can supply. It must be thoroughly cleansed, settled and strengthened. Food never doe this. ... , I ACTS PIIU are the greatett stomach medicine human skill ever compounded. Don't attempt to cure your stomach by dieting. You will half starve and get little benefit Give Beecham's Pills a chance and you will again know the pleasures ol a sound digestion. Appetite will return and the stomach again work without any discomfort The (km will clear, the face plump out, while people v.ill remark "How well you're looking." These are lacU, not fancies. Prove it yourself. ftatd Bverrwaeve to Boxes. lOeatulMe. MINING FOR RUBIES. The Primitive Method That Are Still In la Burma. The avstem practiced for obtaining ruble in the mining district In Bur ma la of the most primitive descrip tion, say the Searchlight The mining shafts are simply holes about two reet Kiunre sunk to a depth varying up to fifty or sixty feet The shoring up of the wall of the shaft is most crude, the. side belug suported by posts at the corners and branches of small trees secured carefully against the slues by means of stout sticks. The miner carries a tin pot similar In shape to a blunt edged cone on his head. He squats down In oue corner and digs between his knees In the op K)slto corner. Tho earth, or byon, as the ruby bearing earth is called, is conveyed to the top ss fast as it Is ex cavated In small buckets let down from above. : The apparatus for raising and lower ing the buckets Is simple In the ex treme. A stout bamboo post about twenty feet high, called a maungdlne, I fixed uprlsht In the ground at a con venient distance from the pit, or dwln, and a long, thinner bamboo pivoted horizontally Into th upper end of It to as to project tan eighth from the mine and the long arm toward the mine. lann'lb "ir ' . "' r - . j. , . ji I.- f ' i i i . .4 ' . , ' i I : ! : I i 1; N i ' !: 1 - J . v j. laaix ta Colds. "A Quakeress," said a physician, "never catches cold. Her immunity Is due to ber bonnet If I had my way, all of us, women and men alike, wontd wear Quaker bonnets. This bonnet protects the back of th bead and the nape of the neck, two very , tender pots. The nape especially Is tender. Let a good draft strike you there for Just a second and I'll guarantee you I week' cold. The Quakeress' bonnet may -not be beautiful, but protecting her nap as It does, it keeps ber free from cold year In and year 6utn Nw York Press. sinrHatlng CbiTooclandEeilula- ting tteStnnwrin and Rawpk ct ness and KestXcflfalns nrilJar Oraurajtorplunti nor Mineral Not Nahc otic. Jmittmd fn dif inmsTlfr r AMsfetf BenvdV for CDrtstlflav doh,SouxSoinacll.Diarrhoea, Worms rrvulstons.levETisn' DCS5 end Loss or SiEEB TacSimik Sifnatare of , NEW "YORK. 11 in I EXACT EXACT C0PYCT VKAPFt. For Infants and Children, j Tho Kind You to Always Bought Bears the Signature of am . ww . 'taw AW In Uso For Over Thirty-Wars m n Tw www eeapnar. mtm tana evra. f tiote anl Antidote. Him I told your father this after noon that I fairly dote on you. , Her What did he say? Him That he would provide me with an anttdete tomorrow In the shape of an assignment for the benefit of his creditors. Chicago Newa. . '',m KStH A Ail NUittCii iv J t?MBiUforaiintaral irrlttiiosa or IcvrauoM . of nueot msmbraMt. P.inlm. and DOS utrio- IfrtEWMtrtHtuCO. rent or pononotu. , ftSDMn,ir 1 SJoM lr rSia. it"m SI SO. or I lAttMS3.7. . ClrculM teat oa nsaafb 17T 11? 1. IS OUR FIELD, AND WE COVER IT. Our field is the district tributary to the mouth of the Columbia River. We pene trate into all the outlying districts, into lumber camps aid isolated neighborhoods. The business of these places belongs to you, and it is worth going after.. .Space in THE MORNING ASTORIAN is reason able; contract for some and let these out siders know thai you are still in business at the old stand. You may have a "grouch" but that won't get business; forget it. Let the people know what you have to sell; they may "forget" or have "forgotten" Sc MORNING ASTORIAN TjTffl ftWT.v PAPtttt ON THE LOWER v colum associated ;:. ; Ress service . '