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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (May 21, 1906)
MONDAY, HAY , 1900. THE, MORNING AST0IUAN. ASTORIA. OREGON. I 0 MaJorCrofoofsOld Landlady Visits Him Makei llrrnelf it Nome nd Forcei iHillcinetit of an Old ! Claim. M" r",tpyrllii.HV.,by Mi Chirs, Phillips A Co.J AJOIt ritolOOT, urn ml promo ter iiml generally ImrU up I;. Ml, Mil Mitt lit K III lllll OlllcS nt 10 o'clock the other fore noon iiml (Miiiilciiiiit w hut hud become of nil Hit' niicl.cr In town, when the ilimr nni.'iiv nM'iit'il nml ii uomtin en torcl. 'I'lic li.njor lunl forgotten to lock Urn iloor. uinl he (imc n start of sur print' nml turned pule, The woman ml vmiri'il lulu h riMtiii, rciuovcil her lion uct nml rliiiik mid rnit down, There M'iiN Inil Utile tiro In the stove, mid the room was chilly. After sitting for it moment die row tip nml dumped Into the Move the hod of eonl w hich the Mia fir M "wju. a tirrt.K i iiwn nut Ivm win hack ! tOUB OOUU tll'I.NIOK I Jor Imd Just Imriiiwed of the tthocmak r upstair iiml which he niemit to Inst him a w hole week. "t.rvst heiiveiiH, hut whiit lire you do log?'' he shouted nt her as be Haw black mitt Muring him In the fuct. Hlie turned from the stove and tat dowu and mild: "Major, I have comi; visiting, and I want to Ik comfortable. Voti remrin her uic, of course?" To do '.he major Justice, he didn't It had lifcn five yrurs since he uw her, II iM-cn-d nt her fur awhile, and then a smile of recognition came to hi fsee and ho exclaimed; "It can't he. and yet It must m my old landludy, Mr. IMIIshuryr "Just so." she replied. as.sjjc took her Knitting out of a hag aud began to knit. "Hut lot tn suuke hand," aald tho major at ha roue up ami offered lila. "Why, my dear, tleur woman, 1 sup posed you went under the sod long ago. I can't think It possible Unit I see you her alive." "Never iiiliut tho ha ml shake, major. Htiako linmla with yourself If you feel like shaking, You should hnvo bad a better lire thla .' lurnlnic. How la the deadheat business?" "Ah, I see wluit you are driving at. and I om chid you culled and gave me a chance to cxplulu. Mia. I'lllsbury my dear old landlady-when I left your bourdlng house n few mouths ago I waa owing you about a dollar, I be lleve," "When you left my hoarding bouae, over four year ngo, you owed me aev euteen dollars," she corrected, (aria Ilia Jollrla. "Over four year ago mid aoventeeu dollurn! It tloiMti't ai'cin possible, und yet I will titko your word for It, Ilow time IIIcm! Ilow the exact amount of our deliti escnpeit us! Well, well, well, hut I rim rejoiced to ace you once more and In the flesh. You must hitve recov ered from your iittmk of the amoll pox?" "I never bin! nit uttm k." "Whit t J Whn t! My tleur aoul of goodness, you don't ti ll lite Hint you ra ta ped ecot tree?" The wommi In t j ! n - , Imt nuulo no reply- "Why, my tleiir," Mild tin mnjor n he walked about, "the ulitht I left your hoarding hotiae I w told tlutt you nud aeveml of t.'ie Ito.trdera were In lied w ith the tire Ml epidemic mid had no allow to tret well. A it mutter of fact, wim' ordered by it red headed pollri-iiuin in prick my trunk mid go." "I'.ut j mi tllilu't puck our trunk and 'tike It n Ion-,'. It wait it dollar trunk. I found It licit tiny, with two old shirts lu It. You wi nt at i.iMiiUht, mid you went by way of the tillej window." "I could tlli'ptttc you, my dear old Cimrdlmi uni:-l, but I rdiall not do ho. It I barely gisllili! Hint I did leave by way of the aid'y ::td iie;lci-ted to take my trunk nlonjf, The mimllpox uewa nuturttlly put me In a panic. Three day later when on my way to tho IioUko to rlu-t the bell and wk after you I waa t'-M by tin- peanut man on tliv corner that you were dead und burled. Shall 1 any that teara filled my cyeaaa I heard bit wordx? Shall I any that I never slept for an hour that lilKht'f Shall I suy" "1 don't think I would:" Interrupted the womnu hm atte auioothed at the stocking she waa knitting. "Had I known whom to aeud vbe $17 to," aald the major aa he tried to work a quaver Into lila tonea, "of rourae It would have been aent. I ahould have eetit at leaat f 100 alove the debt Ton were kind to me, Mra. I'lllaburjr, when I needed klndncaa, und I never forget my frlenda. However, let the past lie the paat. You are lie re now, and I can THE DISCOVERER Of Lydla E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, tha Great Woman's Remedy for Woman's Ills. jj No other female medicine In the world has received such widespread and unqualified endorNeraent. No other medicine has auch a record of cures of female troubles or such boats of grateful friends aa has Lydla G. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. It will entirely cure the worst forms of Female Complaints, Inflammation and Ulceration, Falling' and Displacement, and consequent Spinal Weakness, and Is peculiarly adapted to the Chancre of Life. I t has cured more cases of Uackache and Local Weaknesses than any other remedy the world has ever known. It is almost infallible in such cases. It dissolves and expels tumors in an early stage of development. Irregular, Suppressed or Painful Periode, Weakness of the Stomach, Indigestion, Bloating, Nervous Prostration, Headache, General Debility quickly yield to It. Deranged organs, causing pain, weight and backache, in atantly relieved and permanently cured by its use. Under all circumstances it invigorates the female system. It quickly removes that bearing-down feeling, extreme lassitude, "don't care" and " want-to-be-lef t-alone " feeling, excitability, irritability, nervous ness, dizziness, faintness, sleeplessness, flatulency, melancholy or the "blues" and headache. These are sure Indications of Female Weakness, or some de rangement of the organs, which this medioine surely cures. Chronlo Kidney Complaints and Backache, of either sex, the Vegetable Compound oures. ; .vium v Bvvouk Buviiiiiuir euro i rewnrueu uuuureu everywhere, Refuse all aubstitutea. liow my gratitude. Will little check for S50Q win back your good opinion T lira. Plllabury Indulged In a hearty laugb. Ilea the Lmugk mm Him. "But aUy. Instead of a check for I.VW, atippoae I give you the secretary ship of a new company I have Juat pro moted. It la called the (Jreat Ameri can Folding lied company and starts out with capital of $3,000,000 and or ders from the czar of ltuaala and half ft dozen kings and emperors. The old faahloned folding bed had a trick of folding up at night and catching tha sleeper and breaking bis back. Our bed never folds up except In the day time, and human life Is therefore aafe. The secretaryship will pay you $300 ft year, and you will hare so little to do at tho office that you can run your boarding bouae as well. When I waa hard up and could not see my way clear you trusted me. Instesd of hounding me for ray bosrd and mak ing things worse all around you let my Indebtedneas drift along and show ed that you felt for me. I never can forget It Take the secretaryship, Mrs. Plllabury, In payment of the bread you cast on the waters." Mrs. Plllabury simply grinned as she worked away at ber knitting. "My dear woman, what's the mat ter?" fihe grinned a little harder. "Too can't possibly distrust my In tentions, my dear woman? Hlnce I came Into my patrimony I have taken the greatest pleasure In paying off my little Indebtedness In other duys. If you are not satisfied with $500 In place of $17, wby"- "We shall wont some more coal pret ty soon, major," observed the caller. "What do you mean by that?" "It lan't 11 o'clock yet. I expect to be here all day and perhaps for two or three days." "Good Urd!" "That Is, I ahull stny until I get tny money." "But I have offered you the secre taryship of the Great American Fold ing Bed company, positively guaran teed not to fold up and break any one'a back between sunaet and sunrise." Mra. Plllabury grluned several grins, lie fnmra lo Time. "But aa you don't seem Inclined to take It," continued the major, "and as I wunt to (jet the debt off my hands at once I will go out and Ixirrow the money." He walked to the door, but It would not open. The woman had locked It nd put the key In her pocket. He looked around at ber, and she smiled benevolently. "I can't raise $17 to save my neck," he Anally said. "I know It," she replied, "and so I am going to offer to take $7 and call It square." The major sat down and counted up. lie had 40 cents over the amount, but not another cent In slKbt for two weeks. He looked appeallngly at Mrs. Plllabury. "Seven or I sit tight here for a week!" she said. "My dear, dear old landlady, whom 1 thought dead" Vut It out. major!" He did. He handed over the $7, and aho put on her hat and clonk, bundled up her knitting and unlocked the door and grinned a farewell. "By thunder!" gasped the promoter as he stood and surveyed the open door. Then ho rushed to the stove and threw open tho door to save all the beat be could and snt down in his of fice chair and once more exclaimed: "By thunder!" M. QUAD. War It'a So. Slmklns Windham seems to think be knows It all. Tlmklns Well, bo's not to blame. Slmklns-Not to blame! Tlmklns No; be hns no children old enough to ask questions. Detroit Tribune. The Wedding- Preaent. Will 7 1 if & wit i mUff It The Bride (lu ono breath) This Is from that horrid, contemptible Edith Welsh, who Is so er why, dear, I do believe It's real chlnn now wasn't that sweet of the darling? Woiouu's Home Companion. Practical, "Why do you teach your children to recite and slug?" "Well," answered the practical wo man, "there has to be some way of starting peoplo who come to see you and forget when it's time to go homo-" Washington Star. re- Tbe Beat Proof. "That surgeon, they say, has a markable touch." "He has. If you don't believe it, 111 ahow you his bill for my operation."--Baltimore American. A Wonderful Book of 400 Pa$e I Ply 1 PotrlH ill Mm B Thoroughly Illustrated By 265 Actual Photographs Taken at the time of the Awful Catastrophe This great book which retails at $1.50 and so much desired by every one is now offered as a premium with The Morning' Astorian In order to get the Book subscribe for the MORNING ASTORIAN at the regular subscription rate, 65c a month and 50c addditional to cover cost of express age. Old subscribers can get this book by paying the additional charge of 50c. Only a limited number of books will be given away come early and avoid the rush.