The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930, January 13, 1906, Image 6

Historic Oregon Newspapers

The morning Astorian., January 13, 1906, Image 6

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Newspaper Page TextSATURDAY. JANUARY tj. .a THE MORNING ASTORIAN. ASTOIXIX OREGON. The Grand Promoter And the Cobbler Major Gnfoot Ostium theUCR. C F Hi "OU Fr Wetscrman. TyrigM. lM.kr atcClur. PhUllp A CVJ M' AJOR CROFOOT. grand pro moter and general organiser and debt ebirker. waa a tlttlt lata tn rescblns? tb office, lie Bad Boosted tbe atatra la bla uaual cautious way &ud decided that the coast waa clear when be got a surprise. Tba cobbler ta wborn be bad been ow ing $2 for two or tbree years waa not only waiting at tbe door, but bla atata of mind waa luch that be saluted tbe major wlta: "By golly, but I pellet yon That run krnay and dont neffer coma back DO bora, I come by dla office mot aah tcofty tlffiea, but I dont nod you. I ask aboodt yon. nnd esfrybody says yoa Thai raaca) und don't pay your tttfets. I dont know bow abo rasa dot 1 tod yon dla time." "Can thla be my dear old friend Was karmaar exclaimed tha major In reply "BUT YOU MT HI OB I HlU A Mf,' MAIO TU COBBLBB aa be extended bla band. "Good land, but where hare you been for tbe last yearf "I baf been bunting for you," waa tbe brief reply- "Ton owe me $2, nnd I baf run my leg almoat off to get dot mon ey. If yon Tt&a tn your office Then I knock on der door yon dont opes bin. If yon aea ma on der afreet, yon run avbay. I wait for yoa bere dla mom big, nnd Tt aball settle up or baf tome Sgbts." Ttgbtaf rigbta? My dear Sir. Waa sennas, dont get excited. Come right Into my since and well talk It over. It bad a check lying In my deak for the hut alx montba for you. I'm aorry It hm't $300 Instead of $2, aa yoa art mm of my old friends." 1 don't want aome talks mlt you,' aald tbe cobbler aa be refuaed a chair. Til take my S3 nnd go right avbay. Them I find a man who rbaa aome deadbeati I dont do aome mora bis- neaa mlt bim." "Don't you call me that, my friend. It palna me to bear aucb expteealon from you." "But you pay me or I make a row. "I bope and trait you won't" gently replied tbe promoter aa be backed up to tbe rusty coal atore to get cold. "In tbe old daya wben I waa bard up and bad few frlenda you did aome work for me and did not demand the ready casa. In fact, yon trusted in my boDoi, reposed confidence In my financial Integrity. It la one of tbe thing! I love to remember." "You aald you would pay me In two days," persisted tbe cobbler aa bla bris tle continued to stand up. "If I did the fact has slipped mj mind. It la ouly a trifling detail, bow ever. Mr. Wasserman, I suppose you have beard of tbe great changes In ruy financial condition; Ton bare not con gratulated me, but you will us soon a your excitement la pant." "I told you I don't want aome talk, reviled tbe cobbler aa be began to doubt blmself. "If you vhaa a rich man now you can pay your old debts." "Tie true, my old friend; 'tla true. I can pay a thousand dollars for every cent I owe, and tbe feeling la a placid one. You come up here to collect tbe old account of $2?" "I'nd I vuant blm light avbay, queck If you don't pay me, look oudt! I vba a bad man if 1 vbaa cheated. One time a feller beat me oudt of 10 cents, und I almoat kill blm." "To collect an old account of $2," mused tbe major, "and you bad no sua plcton of tbe good luck awaiting you. My old friend, don't bave a fit or faint wben I Inform you of tbe fact that yoa bare been appointed treasurer of the Universal Goat Raising company, which baa Just been incorporated, with a cap ltal of 5,000,OUO. The appointment waa made last evening, and I waa del egated to Inform you that your salarr would be $20,000 per year. Let us con gratulate each other, Mr. Waaaermau. I am the president of the corporation, of course, and, you being the treasurer, wt will run thloga to ault ourselves. You can take off your bat and apron and go to work at once, or I can give you two or three daya In wblcb to dis pose of your business and get a swal lowtail coat" '1 want no talk; I want no goats!" exclaimed tbe cobbler aa be pranced around tha room. "If you don't pay me dot $2 we aball bave some rowT "Gently, Mr. Wasserman. It acta this TAT sometimes, but the excitement wll! i pa offT tea. you are treasurer ot tbe C. O. R. C and I will explain to yon tbat the Ma la to buy 3.000,000 goats at a dollar apiece, ahlp them to tha great prairies of tha west and lu year or two they will sell stain at 100 per cent profit. w e dont want to sell however. We propose to supply tbe world with goats' milk. It baa been discovered tbat a pint of goafa milk per day coutalne mora nourishment than Ave pounds ot meat four pound: of flour or balf a bushel of potatoes. Tbe average man ran do a full day's work on a pint tiive htm a quart and he'll work all night aa welt It further kaa been discovered tbat goafs milk la an almoat certain euro for consump tion, asthma, liver complaint" "YUl you pay me dot $2T Interrupt! the cobbler as be reached out for tbe major's oat cullar. "Gently, my old friend," waa the re ply tn a soothing vole. "I owe you S3, It should have been paid long ago. It will bo paid In eltout two minute. Aa you are to bevoine- treasurer of tbe U O. K C I feel R my duty to post you as to tbe alma and ambition. Tn milk will bo put np In fancy bottles, sterilised to preserve It Indefinitely, Oar first testimonial m from a leading actress and will astonish all consump tive. She aaya" "J dont care vhat she aaya. For der laet time. I ask yon If yon vhtn payr "I will." auavely replied the major. "There Is 92 coming to you for repair ing my aboee. As treasurer of tbe U. G. R. Cx you should file a bond of at least 930,000.' It might give yoa some trouble to do so, and aa you are as ok friend of mine I propose to extend the glad hand. In other words, I will reduce tbe bond to the trilling sum of 92. and that square the debt. Do yoa think youH bare time to bunt np a ault of office rooms this afternoon? You bad better come tn and let me go over to toe bank with yo. anyhow. Hereafter yon will pay by check, you know. It will also be well for you to get some new clothes a soon as you can. I tblnk this is about all-1 think so." "Und There vhaa my 12 r demanded the cobbler aa a lump gathered In bis throat "You say you pay me my money, but There vbaa sheT You talk nnd talk, but you don't pay." "Mr. Wasserman. you are a bard man to deal with. I bare told you that we aball raise goats." "But I don't care alout goata." "Goata of both sexes." "But I rhant money." "Goats of all colors." "Dunder and blltienT "Ton have no antipathy against goats of old gold color, bare yoa? We must not stsrt out prejudiced ss to color, you know." "By golly, but vbat a man what dodger! I don't belief be give me any money r "And If you tblnk of It" continued tbe major aa be atepped on tbe cob bler's toes and began to crowd him out of the room, "you might IDiiuire around and see If you can ascertain if there are any long tailed gaats to be bad In Wales. What gotof vYell. goodby until tomorrow, and try to get In early, and and" Tbe cobbler waa out and tbe door locked agalnat him. After gasping away for two or three minutes be said to blmself: "Vbell! Vhell! By golly, but I vbaa glad I got oudt und baf feefty centa It my pocketr m. yt'AU Spoiled Her Beauty. Harriet Howard, of New York, at on time bad her beauty ipoiied with skin trouble. She writes: "I hsd JSalt Rheum or Eczema for years, but noth ing would cur it, until I used Bucklen's Arnica Salve." A quick and sure healer for cuts, burns and sores. 25c at Cha. Rogers, drug store. A moot curious institution t Lo Angeles in the Chine berb-dwtor. There are some half down, and they do not prat-tire among their own country n, but have oHii-es in the limine- part of the city. ears Pears' Soap is - the great alchemist. Women are made fair by its use. nil mi left over reduction. will be sold at great A 10 big discounts offered on alt regular lines. Yokohama Bazar CM Oomraerclal Street, Sstort i - in i lijlllCE -'BETIBD Wttl Situations Wanted Advcrtisemcnti Inserted )! Twice Without Charge. i i iii. "i-m n m i i i nmn i " i r ' 1 ' help wanted. BUSINESS DIRECTORY Tlir piMMf1'! lf? mioical. IXARN "ltLEGRATHY ASD K. ft, Asoouatlng. M to 1800 a month sal- are assured eur frsduatss uadsr bond. dot six eoftoola tha largest la Amsrka and sadoraed by ail Railroads. Writs for eatsJogus. MORS! SCHOOL OF TELEGRAPHY, OaciBaaU, O, Buffalo, !f. Y, Atlanta, Oa, U Crosse, Wis, Tax arkaaa, Tex, Sea rraadaoo, OaL LAWKS ONLY RKAD THIS If you honeotly l-h to make money, and will eanvaa the women of your local ity, w have the artk-le for youj pat ented; guaranteed, and great sellers) send 50 cents for complete samples) mosey refunded it Bt satisfactory. Ramona Novelty Agency, Mohawk Bldg, rortland, Ore. WANTED: YOUNG MESj PREPARE yourselves to fill th position that will be created aa fsit as tb humerous railnMdcomletrhirrxtensloat during listOi Milsrie psid telegraph operator ) to H-'iO p-r month) we prepare you at home by msil flrtt and you can enter our school later, ssving 1 to 2 months' board and tuition; write for our terms today. Pacific Cuant School of Tele- (jrsphy, IVrtland, Ore. IDS BMT-miflSHID lOOMS. E0R RENT 8 FURNISHED HOUSE keeping rooms. 579 Commercial ros SALX. rOR SALE SECOND-HAND T COL- nmn newepaper outfit; complete ax-1 9pt prtaa; cheap.. Inquire at tnis of Ice, FOR SALE CHEAP HORSE, BUO- gy sad harness. Inquire Aatoriaa of- lost akd rocva 15.00 REAVARD WILL BE PAID FOlt the return of Chinee certificate No. 68.11)9 of AVong 8hee Moy, kxt about t weeks ap. Return to Wing t hin llion, ElKhth street an; SIC TXACBXI. MANDOLIN LESSONS GIVEN-MRS. C D. Stewart, 127 Seventh street. FOR tALI MiaCfLLAN fOUt. SECOND BAND DONKEY ENGINES for sale, aui table for logging and aoisting purposes. For descriptioa sad pries spply to F. D. Kusttaer, Astoria, Oregoa. The Astoria Restaurant. GOOD, CLEAN MEALS EXCELLENT SERVICE OPEN ALL NIGHT 399 Bond St., cor. Ninth "PaleBohemlan Laser Beer" THE BEER FOR THE HEALTHY WEALTHY AND WISE on draught and In bottlee Brewtd lit anlunr eowlillms sad prvpM'f sd right hert Is AstorUu North Pacific BrcivlnS Co. ASTORIA, OREGON. RIlTAUMNTt, GUM VAH CO. lestauraat 7l Aster St Astsria, Or. All kises sf meats, Raodlss and Chop Soay. T0U POIHT 0YSTXI H0USX. EastsrB sad BhoalwaUr Bay Oysters Stsak. Chops, Ets, Opaa day and alfht, lit St, sett to ScuJlyH dgar tor F1RST-CU83 MEAL for 15o; eke) cake, oone, pie, or ioogbnuta, 8c, at 0. 8. Restaur mi 434 Bond St BEST t5 CENT MEAL. Yoa can always find the beet lrcent meal In the city at tbe Rising Sun Restaurant 612 CommerciaJSt. LAUNDRIIi. The Troy Laundry The only white labor laundry In the sity. Dees the beat work at reasonable priese snd Is In every wsy wsrthy ef your pstrseisg. 10th and DUANI Sts, Iffi IKBROICFJRY LXSS0RS CIYUf LESSONS IN HARDANCER ZM breidary ia givsa by Mrs. Julius Erkksea, 63 West Bosd street, Astoria, for 25 easts per hour. WOOD YARDS, WOOD! WOOD! WCODI Cert weed, still weed, sea weed, asy kiad sf weed at lowest prices. KaOy, tb tsa safer smb. Taos sifi Mala, Bat a Twslftk, epeositt kesse. tahobiho. B. MARTINSON Fin merchant tailoring, Room S, ow Cooper's store, K. of P. Building. As toria. FURNITURE. ROBINSON fcillLDEBRAND Goodman Bldg. 881 Csmmarclal 8t UF.NITURE, Carpets, eedding Steves, Matting, Window Shades, LINOLEUM, kio. BROKERAGE, C. J. TRENC1IARI) Rsal Eatate, Inauranee, Commissi ' and Shipping. CUSTOM HOUSE BROKER. Offioe 139 Ninth Street, Next te Juetles Otnee. ASTORIA. OREGON. Smith Premier is the simplest and strong est ofall writing machines. It does better work, does it quicker,lasts longer, and costs less in the long run than any other type writing machine. It is The World's Best Typewriter Let as uni fot tur Ertlt book tilling til sHout it. Typewriter supp lies, Ms chiMt ttnui. etrnofripbtii fwnklwa. The Smith Premier Typewriter Company t. fUlk ."t t lMl.Mll.1 I Ifl"! II. SI VOUKINQMEN'S IWTEL Good board and deaa beds. Ntwly rsnovatad throughout. L. R. Abercronbie rrep. Comer 14 th and Eirhang SU (Kormsrly KsluUm House.) PROFESSIONAL CAROi. fHYtlCIANa. JAY TITTLE, U. D. PHYSICIAN AND BUH0E05 Astlng AaWaal saiaiss C.a Maria BJssttal Bsrvts. iMseeaottrai lit U a.nv I is :M M ITT ObnatnasxiSjI Street, tad Floor. DR. J. P. GORAY, Specialist ITS, III, XOSt ARB TBBOAT sos Oretoaisa Buildlag. P0STURD 0SEG0R oaTEORATHirra. BR. BBODA C BICU OSTBOPATn Office IfanaeU Bid. Phone Black Ml ITS Commercial BU A stoma. Ore. DENTISTS. DR. T. L. BALL, 0 DENTIST. 524 Commercial St Astoria Oreson. Dr. VAUGIIAN, DXKTUT Pythian Building, Astoria, Or son. Dr. W. 0. LOGAN DE.YTJ81 171 CnmBMraal Hu Sbanshan Baildlnp DR. C. W. BARR, Dentist, Uansell Building Telephone Red 10GI Astoria, Oregon SEASIDE DIRECTORY. WIBU ABO LIQU0SS. THB GEM As up to lists resort for Geatlemen. Choice Wines, Liquors and Cigars. Give us e call and we'll do the rest. 0. E. UOltTEB, Prop, Sessida, Ore, vIMv. eo veahs V EXPERIENCI Tnaoc Mamie Dcarasia CoavsiMMva Ac. SfiTAM eimillni s .SMrii wi vm mm mtrki. jHrifitfi oif eto. Umm mhmhm mm liniMMrKtlrnSiiiiiiV. HlSOWWa m fumott fnl It. itMfM Itm.ef fuf Hflo pWwila. filwii. tknniiiS Muna A lu. rmifS wrWI tvitUI. WllhnM .I"'... W IS. Scientific American A bsilitHrwrtj nAtwmjIf ntfifltPattMl wawtlf. 1.1 I. in irBnf eV-MrtfiAr ytrnU, T I fiitir laVmUsaV, .rekt4 p. eMieiiiin AST I f II rut W nemaMipeUersA, BtMMk OflKw. SB f It. Wsrtis.1. tt. U M0BKIN0 A5T0BIAV la on Sals In Astoria at J. v. GBirrars bookstore. OTaifCEB'3 RIWS DEPOT, 0CCIDINT HOTEL OFHCI, SCUUrS OTAR STORE, JOS. JACOBS, CI0AK STORE, ana TBE AST0R1AH OFFICE, Tsntb and Commsrdal Its, iiiii imi saV THE Dr. C. GEE WO Cktsese ntikizt Co. Formerly located S&8 naat live vcaraHAVE P atOVIl) lata the large brink paikliag at lbs south-east cor ner of first snd llorrlsoa Htraets. En trance No. 183 front Bt Soccessfttl Koss Treitctat Df.0.O(S WO la baowa tbrouftMNil the Oniwe SialM, sn Is ella Um Unstt CliUw lm.uf oa senxtnt of bis vosOarftil mumt witlmtil Ik. .14 of a a BIS. wllluMi man (werararornr klad. Ms IrwIeMy tut all at m. with powerful rlanuU rM HK kmtkm, sod vataelM ttost are known to nwSlml wUu. im liil. hum. sn4 Uwouch ih. ms sf Umn haraslaa lease T dMsaeauarsaiMlasura L'' Cat, Annrns, Xm TreoHs, gJiiaaHtiiai. Nsrviassiss. Saasaaca, User. Kissey, rmak Wssassss sad al Cleesse Dassssa. HI or wrlif. eaetaalss 1 Ym stsntMRw iliisesooa sseelmiltf, Arm, IN C 0 Wee CMsss lndks C Ne. W ts ..rsl Sl It Cm. slusi.s Meatlos this fwH,.- HOTELS. HOTEL PORTLAHD PORTLAND, ORE. Finest Hotel I the Northwest. LICK tsa Francisco leading eoa toltflca sad famll hotel centrally located. Coa anient to all car lines, and place of amusement and is tercet. Cafe and Grill at tacked. Rates I LOO per day endup. 8 tract cut direct to hotel (rots and to all depot HOUSE Saa Frxnclsco, CtL 8 This is ike kind of a Sioty for wklckike NATIONAL MAGAZINE is pacing mooo f TOO DIWCUIT i s rwntnM. aw. ms aw rW4. I MwmS frtm MS gnaw tptoHw m mimM mt mmtff $ tm mtmimpimm, t rW4 SWH MM IMS Ml SM MM Kl M. Mil, mrwirmms mm .. tmipam H tutf. 1 rtil.lfniiilwwsnii Mt um .1 . ftw i ui. tfaii.. tir. ;. i.f i ... t.uim knkal wtt M i us r,,iij ii. "i.ii i. .i,r Mm. iimt mn4, Awmt r. "1Mt I, MMI ItHi ' !l d.m " ..I, M. Ji w- r.lnlir ll na I MM klt Do ltnow of atetier one Wswtnt lUtl. stnrlM. smcdotM, Uts cl i-.nr ciipin iriim IKtp.tar, auiiM or buuk UuU lu and. juu Think, Lauh or Cry t.a pritei will bs given far Ih bnrt t.Vr tiun. Ye pll. tihnt dulUn aihigh si Hi. HrM Ira sscoulid Copl iuxt us the Sr.1 iniih TMnaly tonSlliaa for snterliig ttilienov itttn I that roa tend with nmrcliDMiui i. Itw . i mnniht' in. I tutoctiutKm (e tl Nsttoaol Maoul, AdOim, JOE CIIAPPLE, Editor tet DOBCBCBTTK AVENVX, t 8'