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About The Coos Bay times. (Marshfield, Or.) 1906-1957 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 6, 1915)
IBEBh If SECTION TWO-PAGE FOUR THE COOS BAY TIMES. MARSHFIELD. OREGON. FRIDAY, AUGUST 6, 1915 EVENING EDITION. The Central Avenue Booster VOIi. 1. CENTRAL AVENUE, FRIDAY, AUGUST U, 101.1 m FOR" quibb's ervice atisfaction HflP afety First urety always EE Never Monkey THE CENTRAL AVENUE DOOSTER Anoth i Mae s JJuzfrsa "The Owl" Frank 1). Cohan. Tho C'oiil nil Avoutio Drug Kioto Published Every Friday in tlio Inter est of Coos liny In General and Central Avontio In jmrtlcular. Subscrliitlon Price. Your good will, and membership In tlio Dooster Club Entered at tlio Postofflce as strictly DON'T Don't laugh nt those who niuko mlstukoB mill btuinblo on tlio way, For you nro npt to follow tlieni and almost on any day; Don't think tlio others Hlilftlng sun d, while you nro solid rock, And don't forget, for heaven's) sak o, that any fool can knock. i First-Class matter; there is nothing I Second-Class about Central Avcnuo, tr. Everyone needs, and cannot afford to be without a Tricolator tammammmamammmmmm for making COFFEE Because it makes the best Coffee Always the same Fits Any Coffee Pot It's inexpensive and "Fool Proof." OlKvarat & Weaver Exclusive Agents Corner Third and Central. Phone 199. WAR IIULLETIXS In Europe The battle- wages day and night, I The fearsome wnr pot always bolls Once they were spoiling for a fight Now they arc fighting for spolltt. i J. T. Hnrrlgan says tlio Russians, I beloved Allies of his nativo laud, jnult Warsaw so they could got n I bettor run at the foo a little later on. "It Is nmuslng," remarked n pro-German the other day, "to hear j some of those fellows who couldn't I buy a steerage ticket on a Coos ' Hlvor scow howl about tho rights of Americans on tho high seas." LORD JOHN TACKLE 'EM 1IAKIII GAN nnd Cupt. Tako-a-.Inb-at-'Ein .Macgcnu. the well-known English sympathizers aro all set for tho Eng lish drive against tho Dutch. Count von Sengstacken says: "Yes thu Oermnn war saw sawing at War saw looks like a whlpsaw, the worst that Hnrrlgan ever saw." SMILE-A-WHILE RUSINESS VS. WAR i Vtis i iwvn ti Vtjsx iu na i iur i i x'jiusuau iiiiviiu. 4 TolN a ,Jolo. Don Lawyer told us n Joke on Al Myers this week and wanted us to print It. At loaLt he said it was n Joke. SMILE-A-WHILE A Needed Discovery. Yo scrlbo can say from painful experience that ono of tho greatest needs of today Is "twilight sleep" In the dentl.d's chair. SMILE-A-WHILE "When you are PRESSED for Good Clothes, go to Jay Doyle's Place fill call anywhere any time. mil Central Avenue Phone 2.-.0-X .-v o 7 Dasadlv; anta .MAN Is at a disadvantage when ho has no money with which to tako advantage of tho many opportunities that coiun his way "HEAT. OP PORTUNITY conies only to the man with ready money." Why not start saving Right Now and be ready. Wo will help you along by giving you t per cent on your savings. I wont into Oswald's butcher shop, And said "When will this warfare stop?" Hut all that Oswald had to say Was: ".Mutton chops aro fine today!" Next Into Cook's Grocery I went, And talked of Europe's nriunmcnt. lint Ooorgo he slowly shook his head "These eggs aro fresh," was ull ho said. And by and by It dawned on mo That In this country of tho free, Tho wise men mind their own af fairs, And let tho other lands run theirs. ANON. smile-a-while Some Joko One of our wise cit izens says tho name of Central Aven ue's suburbs should bo ch'nnged. Ho says that it should bo "Marshfllled" instead of "Marshfleld." SMILE-A-WHILE Not Looking" Well Our reporter this wk thot ho had an Item but ho didn't. Al Myers has been looking rwful solomn lonesomo like Just as though something awful might luivo happened. However Al wouldn't tell anything worth printing. SMILE-A-WHILE Got Skinned Our esteemed HERE'S -A SCRAMHLE (In California a citizen has peti tioned to havo his name changed. His namo Is egg.) He's sort of egg-cited about it. Ho calls his six kids tho half-dozon," Some of thorn aro bud but nil of thorn nro "fresh." His namo Is un doubtedly eggs-BBperatlng nnd it would be ensy to go broko with n name liko that. He lias been beat en no doubt, and whipped often. Now aud then, wo venture, ho man ages to scramble home. SMILE-A-WIIILE ACCOMMODATING aret Nationa IBank Of Coos BayJ Central Avenue Marshlicld, Oregon Make Your Home Beautiful i Ijiuii .Mower mid a Sprinkler will i( much toward-, keeping your I lawn In flue shape, Wo have them In the host umKcs, .lust look at our window. LB Central Aveuuo and Itroadwny. MRSH E HARDWARE When In Want of Fire, Life and Ma rine insurance which insures, see SENSTACKEN the Insurance Man "Meet Me at The Smokehouse" j That'H what we want you to tell . your trlends. Use our chairs, use Jour lobl or telephone. We ifre only too glad to be of service. Wo have !II the big league scores eery eve ning. I If you want the latest inagtulnos, ,u good smoke, the best that an up- to-date tobacco shop can furnish or 1 1 enjoy a good game of billiards or pool, we will ho glad to havo you drop In. Gene Crosthwaite & Jim Kellond FRED M'CLFES, J Ir.st Assistant. "Tho telephone girls in this town are very accommodating, aren't inoyf" remaiKeii iv traveling man at the Chandler to Clerk Van Ouyu. "They certainly are," replied Charlie, "when thoy can't reniom bor the number you ask for (hoy always give you something Just (is good. SMILE-A-WHILE fellow townsman, Davo Stafford, got a bad skinning this week. Wo don't mean that eny ono slipped nnythlug over on him In n trado, because, if you know Davo you know that's im possible. However ho took n day off, last Sunday ( tho first ono since tho last time ) nnd went to tho beach and tho sunshino and tho sea breez es havo got him to peeling to beat tho band. SMILE-A-WHILE And So They Wore Weil. Clar ence Ash, city editor of our esteemed contomps, Tho Times, nnd Miss Maude Mastick, hooded Cupid's tall at Portland last Mcrday p. in. Thoy are now nt Lakeside, trying to look as though they had been married n long tlnio. Tlioy will bo at homo to tho gns collector, book agents, In curanco solicitors and their friends at 438 Hall aveni.o next week This wedding was tho culmination or a collogo romnnco begun nt U. of O., without any thought of what might happen. SMILE-A-WHILE AL MYERS says "The weigh of the transgressor Is about fourteen ounces to tho pound." SMILE-A-WHILE F. . FLETCHER, who Is some flour In tho gnrden of life, paid us n call ono day this week, but that wiib nil. SMILE-A-WHILE FRED WEAVER told uh last week that ho know whore there were two deer up In tho Drowsier Val ley. Later Ho promised us Bonio of tho venison If wo wouldn't put it In tho paper. SMILE-A-WIIILE C. J. FUHRMAN, tho well known Coiiulllo druggist, was seen on our street yesterday having Jit neyed over from his fair city with that popular transportation artist Fred Slaglo. SMILE-A-WIIILE A. T. HAINES Is homo from a thousand-nillo Joy rldo with Frank Horton nnd he says that nowhere did ho seo any artery of coni merco that compared with Ccntral Avenue. A. T. is a genuine booster. SMILE-A-WIIILE I A Regular Vacation To visit our Soda Fountain Clean, invigorating and pleasant surroundings art you find here. The thirst disappears in a iffyJfl l.... ..., Imln In linnll nAH ' """ft IIUW yUll llcUU IU UIMir. innruj. a Dw n( Clnffnrrl'o nnlininilQ Pnnfh clmnl.i l h "r. ":,,:"" u,"u " J wuu"en lllliuii uc.ior.ui. Olaliui u o vjoeailui y v UUIUi)n l'lione Central Avenue FRANK COHAN returned Inst week from Portland and forthwith tried to Introduce ninny metropolitan manners. While In tho Roso City ho did considerable Joy riding on tho Columbia Highway which ho says Is a very good road mid possessed of much scenic grand eur. SMILE-A-WIIILE GEO. COOK ,snys life is Just onu strenuous thing after another with htm these days. Just as soon as he gets busy with tho basement of a now building along comes County .Moobo Day and Ho promises that It is going to bo tlio biggest nnd best yet. Tlio Germans taking Warsaw Isn't In It with tho Mooso taking Dundon next week. SMILE-A-WIIILE Ol'll VAUDEVILLE I Tlio SinokehoiiM' Sketch Team "Hullo, Hazel!" "How did you know my name Is Hazel?" "You look like n nut. Dy tho way, Hazel, aro you married?" "No. .My husband Is a travollng salesman. Ho married mo when I was u society girl." "Wero you a society girl?" "O, yea! Wo were one of tho first families in town as you drive In!" SMILE-A-WIIILE -rWrW'4H4,4,r''"rH HUNDREDS Of Marshfleld Housewives SAY OUR .NEW Imperial Flour IS THE REST OX CODS DAY Ilu j on tiled n sack? none nu order tomorrow morning HAINES Central Avenue. Phono Ml McKcmvitVi Hunting Trip. When Harry McKeown took his old ruizlo loading shotgun and started for RcodBport wo expected some sonsu tioiial and ndventurous talcs o die Umpiiin trails. Uut nfter walking l"i miles wo learn (that Is Harry walked IS miles, not us,) wnni ho wont to load up ,hls gun to shoot a mountain bear ho was flabbergasted to discover that ho hud wont and forgot to bring anv powdor wl.h him, so after indulging In terrlblo ptofnnlty, Harry returned homo In disgust. His sore hand nieutlnnod WORSE AND WORSE "A bachelor Is usually n man who has been crossed In love," remarked In last wk's Iloostor was occasioned Geo. R. Anderson In u philosophic "DILL ARNOLD, who can furnish paving for any section this side of tho material that Is used in hades Jitneyed to tho county seat yesterday and gave tho county court a bid on a samplo inilo of Paradise roadway. S. C. Small's hid was smaller, howovor, and "Dill" then Jitneyed buck again. Hotter luck next time, Dill. Wo know how It Is ourselves with that county court. SMILE-A-WHILE by shaking hands with Warren Rood who squeezed It turrlblo hard. Wo uro sorry to disappoint our readers, but they can easily seo that it w.is Harry's fault and not ours that ho forgot tho powder. A PROHIH1TION PAGEANT "Dad" Welch has suggested a plan of parade or march of triumph on January 1, when Orogon goes dry. Tho parade to form as fol lows: Wearing Whlto Ribbon Uniforms Jack Carter Dill Shoupo Coos Day Hand Playing "When Oregon Goes Dry" Cnpt. .Macgeun on a Float Grand .Marshal In Auto run by dry batteries exclusively. Ornamental Floats Carrie Nation and Her Llttlo Hatchet (Paper .Macho Group) With Escort of Llvo Dnrtendors In Chains Tho First Water Wagon to Cross the Plains in MO With Escort of Reformed Alkali Ikes and Doadwood Dicks Elks Hand L. L. Thomas, Leader. Playing "It's a Long, Long Way to Tlpsy-Rary Fearless Daring Fletcher Wearing a Wreath of Water Lilies and surrounded by a group of elderly maidens singing "Lips That Touch Grape Julco May WANTED Always Touch Ours." Horrible Examples SMILE-A-WHILE Sl'RE THING mood. "Yes," roplled Huss Towor, who was In hearing distance, "And a married man is ono who has boon double-crossed." SMILE-A-WIIILE , PRESSED. Pressed out of moasuro and pressed to all length; Pressed bo Intensely It seems, be yond strength; Pressed In tho body and pressed In the soul, Prcssod in tho mind till tho dark surges roll. Pressed by foes and pressed by friends, Pressure on pressure, till llfo nearly ends. Pressed into business and pressed In tho strifo, Pressed Into thinking you should hnvo a wifo Pressed by your creditors and pres sed too, for money, My whole llfo seems pressing, now Isn't It funny? JAY DOYLE. SMILE-A-WHIL ROOSTER WANT ADS 4 LOST Somewhoro on Coos River, one package of smoking tobac co. No roward tfor its return, as I havo n now package now. Ad dress A. Y. M caro Dooster offico. Man to milk sea cows. Address Oceansldo Dairy, at Dooster offico. In this I think wo'U all agree, That bo you sago or bo you fool, We'd all fall mighty short If wo Wore measured by the Golden Rule. Harry Nasburg. DR. W. A. TOYE, 4 DENTIST 4 Hours 9 to 12; 1 to 5. Doom 201, IrvliiR Dldg. 4 Central Avenue. Mar.shfleld 4 Just. Arrived New Crop 1 9 1 5 Tea SWEET AND KLAVOHV JAPAN TEA THE CHOICEST. YOC HAVE EVER TASTIII) Only 60c Per Pound ALSO A COMPLETE LINE OF CHOICE FRKSII .'m;TS (JREEX VEUETAHLES Phone your ordeis early. cook's n GROCERY V i ROMPT OPULAR ROGRESSIVE Phono 181). DC LUCE? I TVC FORTH! aa ix m--!W u BEST Myrtle Wood Novelties FOR SOl'VENIHS JEWEL DOXES, NUT DOWLS, CARD TRAYS, N.Vl'lil.V fM CANES, (.'LOVE AND HANDKERCHIEF HOXKS, TADUJj CHESTS, CHAIRS, VENEER AND LUMHER IX Till! Midi Special Order Work u Specially Phono tI7."-.I. 22(1 CenlMl .lis A N S C O F I L M S Satsuma Plums . . . 35 For Canning Per Basket A Fl'LL LINE OF FINE FRESH Fltl'ITS AND CIIDIfl! fiKHI THINGS TO TEMPT A JADED APPKTITI! NASBURG GROCER! Corner Central Aveuuo nnd Setfu'I Street. Get Insurance that Insures That's the kind I write. You take no chances E. I. CHANDLER COKE BUILDING Flro Insurance, Lllo ,iutl Accident Insurance, Suiely HonJs, Ul Ed Meade. Kandy Noot ABSOLUTELY FREE Stingy pcoplo nro not booster, Tlio knocker Is simply n mult; With each lm of PngMoyV c.mdy, I Klve you a piirplo peanut. Ed. .Monde, Gnjfler. Noble Theatre. Central AvenuJ CENTRAL AVFNI1F MUSIf STORE PIJNOS .ORGANS, VICTROLAS, RECORDS, SHEET MUSIC AMD EVERYTHING IN THE MUSIC LINE we win ne glad to arrange terms if you cannoi nav all cash. Thomas Musir rtomuany Consolidation of noy llt Aeu ,, w K ,,. Muslc 8W IW Central Aveuuo. PLAIN TO TAKE" AT THE The Bui a Good Menu Central iM"" HI PfPP?f-ftfPjw